Lights! Camera! Action! Justin's House

Quack! Quack! Quack!

CHEERING

CHEERING

# Cleaning up for Justin again

# Cleaning up for Justin again

# Cleaning up for Justin again

# In Justin's House! #

Well, hello, everybody...

-CHILDREN:

-Hello.

..and welcome to Justin's House!

How splendidly splendid to see you all.

Now, before we start, I must apologise for all of the mess.

You see, Justin has spent days watching his entire film collection.

Oh, Justin, he loves films.

In fact, he loves films so much that he's decided to make his own film.

Ooh!

I know. But, you see, he's just gone off to get ready now,

leaving me to clean up all of his film discs.

I mean, honestly, look at them. They're everywhere.

What have we got here? Let's have a look.

Oh, yes, now this is Justin's favourite superhero film.

Yes, Jellyman - only one man was willing to wobble!

You see, that's a classic that is. What have we got here?

-Little Monster!

-Oh, look - it's Little Monster.

Say hello to Little Monster, everybody.

-Hello, Little Monster.

-Hello, Little Monster.

Have you found another one of Justin's films? Thank you very much.

Let's have a look. Oh, no, actually that's one of mine.

Yes, Pretty Robot. It's really rather lovely.

At the end of the day, when I've cleaned up,

maybe I'll sit down and watch that.

Little Monster, would you mind popping it on the end there

while I get everything else...? No, wait, wait, wait, wait! No!

Robert, here I am!

Oh, sorry I'm late, everyone. Hi, how you doing?

And it begins.

Here we go.

# Wiggle your bottoms

# Shake and grin

# It's Ju-ju-ju, ju-ju-ju-ju

# Ju-ju-ju-ju-ju... #

Aaaargh!

-Robert!

-Ooh, sir!

Hi, Robert. Ta-dah!

What do you think, everyone?

-Thanks.

-Yes, yes, WHEELIE good, sir.

Get it? Get it? WHEELIE good.

Honestly, I'm giving you gold here.

Sir, why are you dressed as a waiter?

No, I'm not a waiter, Robert. I'm on a secret mission.

-I'm playing the lead part in my action movie.

-And the skates?

Ah, yes, well everyone knows that every action movie star

needs their own set of speedy wheels.

-Isn't that right, everyone?

-Yes!

Why don't we park them for now, sir?

What are you doing?! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

-Let me help you get them off, sir.

-Oh, thank you, Robert.

Actually, the name's Nuff.

Nuff?

Yes, Justin Nuff.

ROBERT LAUGHS

Well, NUFF said.

You see, it's the name of my character

in the action movie, Robert.

I'll be playing it.

The movie is called, everyone, The Secret of the Pie Monster.

Ooh!

-How thrilling, sir.

-I'm playing the lead character, Robert.

Ooh, and Little Monster is playing the baddie,

so I need a big boo after three.

-One, two, three.

-BOO!

She's going to be called Doctor Greenfelt.

Well, how heroic of you, sir, and how naughty of you, Little Monster.

I know. Now, I've been working on the script, everyone, for months.

-There is it, Robert.

-Urgh!

Now, where are my shoes? Ah, yes. Let's have a look.

There we go. Thank you, Little Monster.

Now, sir, would there be a small part

in this rather large script for me?

I'm afraid you're not IN the movie as such,

but you've got a really important role.

-Ooh!

-Yes, Robert's going to be the director, everyone.

-Ooh!

-I know.

And the camera operator.

Ah.

And the make-up artist.

-Oh.

-Yes.

You see, every lead character needs to look their best on screen.

Yes, well, that sounds wonderful, sir.

So why don't we get MOVIE-ING?

You see, get it? MOVIE-ING.

Honestly, I'm wasted in this house!

-You know, I could write the jokes for your films, sir.

-Er, yes.

Luckily for all of us, it's not a comedy, Robert.

-What?

-It's a very serious film.

It's an action movie, isn't it, everyone?

-Yeah.

-Oh, right.

-Robert, let's get going.

-Every big action movie starts with a song, doesn't it, everyone?

-Yeah.

Come on, then.

Right, Robert, fire up the old RMP1 film canister.

Spooling up the film now, sir.

-And movie-makers, what do we say?

-Hit it.

-Hitting it now.

-OK. Come on, let's see you dancing. Here we go.

# Justin's House... #

Let's see you. Yeah.

# Justin's House... #

-Sing along.

-Here we go.

-# Justin's House

-# It's the place you want to play in

-Justin's House

-# You're my special guests today

-Justin's House

# It's the place you want to stay in

# Everybody welcome here in Justin's House

# Yeah, there's Robert the Robot and Little Monster too

# And someone else, we think you know who

# He's funny and sunny

# Has a smile on his face

# Here's Justin

# Yay! And this is my place... #

Loud as you can, everyone. One, two, three.

-# Justin's House

-It's the place you want to play in

-# Justin's House

-You're my special guests today

-# Justin's House

-It's the place you want to stay in

# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House... #

Very good.

# We sing here and dance here, play silly games too

# But it wouldn't be fun if it wasn't for you

# You're funny and sunny, put a smile on my face

-# You're brilliant!

-Yes, you are

# You really are great... #

-Come on, there's a movie to be made.

-# Justin's House

-# It's the place you want to play in

-Justin's House

-# You're my special guests today

-Justin's House

# It's the place you want to stay in

# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House

# Everybody's welcome here in Ju-u-u-ustin's... #

Everyone!

# Justin's House! #

Give yourselves a huge cheer.

CHEERING

Do you know what? That really does set the scene for our movie magic.

Actually, sir, as the official director slash camera operator

slash make-up artist,

may I show you my latest invention to help with the film-making?

Wow, that sounds fantastic.

Who wants to see Robert's latest invention?

-Yes!

-Oh, good.

-Let's have a look, shall we?

Now, as you know, sir, to make a film, you need a film camera.

MUSICAL FANFARE

-Ooh!

-Wow!

APPLAUSE

That is amazing, Robert.

This is the Pop-A-Matic 4000.

Yes, it's the only film camera and popcorn maker,

so you can make your film and then, when you're ready to watch it,

make the popcorn to have at the same time.

Hang on a minute, Robert.

Are you telling me that's a film camera AND a popcorn maker?

I know, it's amazing nobody's thought of it before.

Oh, Robert, that is ridiculous...

..ly brilliant, isn't it, everyone?

-Yes!

-Thank you.

-How does it work?

Well, of course, you see the film it's all captured on the reel there.

-Yeah.

-And the wide-angle lens, it's very good.

I understand about the camera, but how do you make the popcorn?

You normally make the popcorn after you've made the film,

but there's no harm in getting ahead.

What we have to do is we have to put a little bit of corn,

which you'll do, Little Monster, into the chute just there

and then we crank this handle and the popcorn comes out here

and we catch it in cartons,

which I'm going to go and get now, sir.

Literally, what could go wrong, everyone?

Sounds very good to me.

Right, Little Monster, put a few little bits of corn in there.

Just a few, yeah.

And a few more. Yeah, and more.

That's it, put the whole sack in.

I'm feeling quite hungry.

-That's right. Thank you, Little Monster.

-I found the carton.

-Found the carton. So you take that.

-Thank you.

I'll just start to turn the handle and let's get some popcorn.

-Here we go.

-Let's make some popcorn. How clever...

Argh! What's going on?

Little Monster, how much corn did you put in there?

What, do you mean all of it? You put all in?

Oh, no, no, stop it!

Stop it! It's not stopping!

Not the film! Look at the film, the film!

-Got to stop the popping!

-The film's coming off.

-Argh!

-Ugh!

It's going to blow!

Oh, no!

Oh!

JUSTIN SIGHS

Robert, I think we've got enough popcorn.

Yes, I think we'll be feeding the birds and Little Monster

for a few weeks now.

I don't believe it.

Look, Robert, at all the popcorn.

The machine's broken and the film camera's broken.

Robert, I'm not going to be able to make my action movie after all.

No, no. Don't panic, everybody. Don't panic.

I've already thought of this. This is, after all, Justin's house,

so if you'd like to move, I'll get the film.

You see, what I did is, I'd already got another reel of film, sir.

-Don't you worry.

-Really?

-Yes, yes, it's just here.

So I'm going to pop this on here like that.

Robert saved the day, everyone! A big cheer for Robert.

-CHEERING

-Thank you, everybody. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Robert, that's brilliant.

Let me tell you a bit more about my movie.

Yes, you see, it's full of action and intrigue.

And guess what, everyone?

I'm going to do all of my own stunts!

Yes. I'm going to do some hiya-hoo-ya-ha-hoo-hee!

I like that. What do you think, Robert?

I'm just tidying up, sir.

Whoa, Robert!

Oh!

Ta-da...! What do you think, Robert?

I've got to be honest, sir, I think it's better

if we got professional help with the stunt work, don't you?

Ah, yes, maybe you're right.

Little Monster, can I have the phone, please? Thank you.

-What's the number for the Stunt Tumblers?

-Ah, yes.

That'll be three, because it rhymes with "whee"!

-AUDIENCE:

-Whee!

-That's right.

Of course it does. Three. All right. Here we go.

PHONE RINGS Is it ringing?

-Still ringing.

-'Hello!'

-Ooh, hello, yes.

-Is that the Stunt Tumblers?

-'Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da!'

Oh, yes, great finish.

It's Robert here, learned friend and servant of Justin.

-'The clumsy one?'

-That's right, the clumsy one.

We're making our own action film and we need some action Stunt Tumblers.

-'Oh, we'll be right over!'

-Oh, you will?

That's wonderful, thank you. We'll see you soon. Bye-bye.

-Ah, right. The Stunt Tumblers are on their way, sir.

-Oh, good.

DOORBELL RINGS

# Who's at the door? Who's at the door?

# Someone better answer it... #

-Everyone! ALL:

-Robert, get the door!

Do you know what, I would love to get the door, everybody,

but only a true action hero can do something as dangerous

as answering a door.

Yes, of course.

Who's the action hero, everyone?

-ALL:

-You!

That's right. I'll get the door. OK.

Hang on a minute - has Robert just played a stunt on me?

HE LAUGHS

I'll get the door. Right, let's see who it is, shall we? Ooh. Wow!

Oh!

Fantastic, guys.

It's the Stunt Tumblers. A huge cheer!

CHEERING

Wow. Hi, guys.

Lovely to see you, and thank you for being in my action movie.

You're here to help the lead character, you know,

the hero in our film, look good.

And the thing is... Hang on, I'm the lead character, not Robert.

-Over you go.

-Thank you.

Autographs later, everyone.

Now, we have to audition you first to see what you've got, OK?

Are you ready for the Stunt Tumblers?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-OK, take it away!

Here we go!

MUSIC PLAYS

Ooh, Robert!

Wow.

Whoa!

Wow, I can't believe it.

Me neither.

Whoa, that is amazing.

Oh, Robert!

That's incredible.

Did you see that tumbling? Oh!

What oil do you use?

Oh!

Oh!

Little Monster, I hope you're not going to try that.

They are trained professionals, you know.

Oh, my goodness.

Whoa!

Plenty of popcorn.

-Oh, no!

-We can't look...

Whoa!

-That's incredible.

-Amazing.

What's going on?

Two.

Whoa!

What's happening now, Robert?

-Wow.

-Whoa!

-What's happening?

-Right, right.

Whoa!

Wow.

-APPLAUSE

-Huge round of applause!

Biggest cheer ever for the Stunt Tumblers!

Oh, that was amazing.

That was just, oh, incredible!

Do you think they should be in the film?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-Yes.

-Well, guys, it was a hard audition,

I understand that, but I have decided

that you can't...

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

..NOT be in the movie!

CHEERING Well done.

Go to the dressing rooms in the glamorous waiting area

and we'll give you your scripts - thanks a lot.

Well done. Brilliant!

Which glamorous waiting area would that be, sir?

-Your shed.

-Naturally.

Right, let's get making movies. Now, Little Monster.

She's going to play the baddie, Dr Greenfelt.

Where's that "boo", everyone? Have you got a "boo"?

-AUDIENCE:

-Boo!

-Ooh, yes.

Right, let's just clear the area a bit. There we go.

Now, this is going to be your secret lair.

So we need a few adjustments here.

Agh! Do it! There you go.

And we need to do this.

There we go. Excellent.

Right, now, here's your control board, Little Monster.

You're going to be protecting the golden pie.

Every time you see Dr Greenfelt, give a big boo!

-AUDIENCE:

-Boo!

-That's right.

Now, Robert, if you switch the camera on...

Oh, hang on a minute, where's our director, Robert?

Let's call for him after three. One, two, three...

-ALL:

-Robert!

I'm ready.

DRAMATIC FILM MUSIC

I don't believe it.

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Places, everybody!

All right, let's have quiet on the set, please.

-Quiet!

-BELL RINGS

All right, where is my hero? Where is the star?

-I'm here.

-Is he late again? Where is he, everybody?

-Where is that guy?

-I'm here.

-Where is he?

-Get out of it!

-BOTH:

-Don't do that!

Hold on, kid, you need some make-up.

Oh, yes, of course. The lead character, you know,

the action hero, has to look his best.

-Make-up!

-Agh!

-All right, honey, what do you want?

Let's take a look, I'll make you look like a million dollars.

We just need to take the shine off. OK, here we go.

This side, this side. There we go.

-There you are.

-Argh!

One more, I think.

Argh!

There you go. It's good, honey, you look like a doll.

All right, everybody, let's shoot this thing! OK, first position.

-What are you doing?

-Get over to your first position.

-All right.

OK, everybody. Lights!

Nice. Camera!

CAMERA ROLLS

-ALL:

-Action!

It's night-time, and the scene opens on our hero, Justin Nuff.

OK, I need you to look heroic, kid.

Look heroic! More heroic.

More.

Too much.

All right. That's poifect!

So, Justin Nuff sneaks quietly

into the lair of naughty monster Dr Greenfelt.

Right, I'm going quietly, Robert.

Ooh! TOYS SQUEAK

-I said quietly.

-OK. Shh!

Let's go very quietly. Right.

CRASH!

Suddenly, Justin spots the naughty Dr Greenfelt,

and quickly hides so as not to get caught.

Where shall I hide?

Just down there, just down there.

Ah-ha!

While Dr Greenfelt is not looking, Justin seizes his opportunity.

He tries to sneak in and take back the golden pie.

Oh, right.

It's your line, sir. Your line.

Ah-ha. I see you, Dr Greenbelt.

-No, it's Green-FELT, not Green-belt.

-Oh, yes.

-He shouts a lot, doesn't he? Yes.

-Well, never mind.

As our hero gets closer, suddenly he is surprised

by Dr Greenfelt's naughty henchmen,

who had been guarding the secret lair.

What henchmen? I can't see anyone.

-Where are they? AUDIENCE:

-Behind you!

Over this way?

Ooh!

Argh!

But Justin Nuff never gives up.

You never give up, sir, you never give up.

-Dr Greenfelt.

-Oh, yes, of course.

Dr Greenfelt, your pie-taking days are over.

Give me back that golden pie.

Little Monster, you're supposed to give me the pie back,

otherwise you'll ruin the movie! Come on, let's have it.

This isn't in the script. Cut.

-Cut!

-What are you doing?

Little Monster, give me the pie!

-Oh.

-Oh, sir! Are you all right?

This was supposed to be a serious action movie, everyone,

and, well, I ended up making a disaster movie instead.

I failed, everyone!

-ALL:

-Aw.

Oh, no, sir. You haven't failed.

You may not have made an action film,

but I think you've made something even better.

The funniest film! Didn't he, everybody?

-ALL:

-Yes!

-Really, Robert?

-Yes, sir.

And I think you deserve your very own award.

Little Monster, if you please.

Oh! Wow.

Thank you, my dear.

Sir, may I present you

with The Robert for making the funniest film,

the only film in Justin Town.

Thank you, everyone.

I'd like to thank Robert and, of course, Little Monster

and, well, all of my friends, thank you, everyone.

-When I was young and I wanted to get into films...

-That's a great speech.

-Big cheer for Justin!

-CHEERING

-Yes, very good. Very good, sir.

-Thank you. Oh, so many friends.

Do you know what? Every big blockbuster action movie

always finishes with a big song at the end, doesn't it, everyone?

It does indeed, sir.

OK, Robert, fire up the old RMP1 Spool Projector once more.

Yes, sir. Firing up.

And what do we say, movie-makers?

-AUDIENCE:

-Hit it!

-Hitting it now.

All right! Let's go! Let's see you dancing.

-Here we go.

-Yeah! Whoo!

-BOTH:

-# We've had a lot of fun

# Good times and a half

# When I think about it I laugh and laugh and laugh

# We go....

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

# Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

# Come and laugh with me... #

Oh, very good, sir.

-Yes, thank you, Robert. Take it away.

-Here we go.

# A funny photograph That would make me laugh

# Now, custard in a bath That would make me laugh

# A pink and green giraffe That would make us laugh

# Come on, everybody We can make you laugh... #

Here we go. Don't forget to laugh along.

Here we go.

# We go...

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

# Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

# Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

# Come and laugh with me

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

# Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Come and laugh with me... #

-Ooh, I've got one, Robert.

-Oh, have you?

-Ready, everyone?

# Pull a funny face That will make you laugh... #

Come on, pull a funny face!

Very good. Very good funny faces.

-Have you got one?

-Oh, I've got one. Here we go.

# Give a little tickle That would make you laugh... #

-Tickle the person next to you.

-Yes, tickle, tickle.

Oh, no, not me, sir!

# A funny photograph That would make me laugh

# Now, custard in a bath That would make me laugh

# A pink and green giraffe That would make us laugh

# Come on everybody We can make you laugh... #

Here we go. Are you ready?

# We go...

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

# Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

# Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

# Come and laugh with me

# Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

# Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

# Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

# Come and laugh with me

# Come and laugh

# With me! #

HONK!

-Yay!

-Give yourselves a big cheer.

Wow. Have you had a good time today?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-Oh, good.

Well, let's have a huge cheer for our wonderful guests,

the Stunt Tumblers!

Yay.

Let's hear it for our Hollywood starlet, Little Monster!

And, of course, our movie-magic director, Robert.

And we'll see you next time in...

-ALL:

-Justin's House!

All right. That's a wrap, everybody!

I liked the bit when Robert put the make-up on Justin.

The Stunt Tumblers was amazing.

My favourite bit was when

the henchmen in the film squirted Justin.

When Justin got the pie in his face.