Katie Morag and the Grand Concert Katie Morag

# Katie Morag

# Far away across the ocean

# Katie Morag

# Over the sea to Struay

# Katie Morag

# Far away across the ocean

# Katie Morag

# Over the sea to Struay. #

'My name is Katie Morag McColl

'and I live on the island of Struay.

'I suppose it's quite wee, but it's ginormous to me

'and everyone looks out for me

'when I'm out and about having my adventures.'

# Katie Morag. #

'Everyone's good at some things

'and not so good at others.

'Take me for example.

'I'm a champion at Pooh sticks,

'brilliant at coming up with good ideas

'and I can say the entire alphabet in less than five seconds.

'What I'm not so good at

is making posters for Struay's Grand Concert.

'We only have Grand Concerts every once in a while.

'This was an extra special Grand Concert

'because they asked me to sing in front of everyone

'for the very first time.

'But that's another thing I'm not so brilliant at.

'My best friend Agnes is a great singer.

'She's usually the star of the show,

'but I get shy and nervous and forget the words.

'Not this time, though.

'This time, I was going to practise and practise till I was perfect.'

'This year's concert was extra special

'because Grandad Island was coming over from Norway

'with Uncle Sean and Uncle Sven.'

-GRANNIE ISLAND:

-Here they are!

Hi, Grandad.

-Well, who on earth could this be?

-It's me, silly!

Oh, stop tormenting the girl.

Well, as beautiful as ever.

'Sean and Sven were proper musicians

'who've been on TV and everything.

But, best of all, they're actual real-life twins.

-Hello, Katie Morag.

-Hi, Uncle Sven.

I'm Sean. He's Sven.

I'm Sven? I thought you were Sven.

Somebody find a mirror, we'd better check!

Oh, behave yourselves, boys.

-Shall we behave?

-I don't think so!

No, no!

Put me down! Put me down!

Please tell them to put me down!

'My uncles always made everyone laugh.

'Everyone except Liam, that is.

'He was upset cos he wanted to be in the concert, too,

'but Mum said he was too young.'

'Sean and Sven had been playing and singing together

'ever since they were little.

'They'd even had a special name back then.'

The Twin Tunes! I have not heard that name in years.

Well, you're topping the bill, so I hope you've been practising.

-GRANDAD ISLAND:

-What about you, Katie Morag?

I hear you're doing a solo.

-Will you let us hear it?

-KATIE GROANS

Oh, you're not shy, are you?

Uncle Sven was shy when he started out.

You're not shy any more, though.

Not a bit.

What about you, Liam?

Why don't you sing us your song?

'I wasn't feeling anywhere near as nervous about the concert now.

'Uncle Sven was shy and he got over it,

'so why shouldn't I?'

-Hi, Katie Morag, fancy a game of hopscotch?

-Yes.

'And that's when I bumped into Agnes.'

Yes, yes!

'I was supposed to be getting ready,

'but there was always time to play hopscotch.

'We played five rounds and Agnes won every single time.'

Yes!

I've never lost five in a row.

Just not your day, I suppose.

Looking forward to the concert?

I can't wait!

Practising your song?

I've been practising all of them.

What you mean "all of them"?

Well, I was only meant to be doing one,

but when Mr Mackie heard how good I was, he asked me to do three!

Anyway, see you there.

'Three songs!

'no-one had ever done three songs,

'not once in the entire history of the Grand Concert.

'It didn't matter how much I practised now,

'Agnes was going to be the star of the show again.'

THEY LAUGH

BUZZING

That's the second time the lights have done that today.

I hope we don't have a power cut.

The Grand Concert would be ruined.

-There she is.

-Katie Morag?

BUZZING

You know, there are three sure-fire ways of cheering yourself up.

One of them's chocolate.

That usually works.

But you mustn't use it too often!

Second is a visit to the hairdressers.

Sugar-free,

but it gets a tad expensive.

But if you were to ask me,

my number one all-time favourite ways

of cheering myself up,

I'd tell you it was getting a new dress,

a coral-coloured dress...

..with green and blue bows to be precise.

Dad, look what Granma Mainland bought me.

My goodness!

You know,

I don't think I've ever seen such a beautiful dress

in my entire life.

'Granma Mainland was right.

'The new dress had totally cheered me up.

'It didn't matter how many songs Agnes sang,

'with my brand-new party outfit,

I'd definitely be the star of the show.'

So what duet will you be singing tonight?

An all-time classic.

One of the Twin Tunes' greatest hits.

-Can I hear it?

-Why not, take a seat.

THEY SING IN NORWEGIAN

-# Do

-Do re mi fa so la ti do

-# Re mi fa so

-Do re mi fa so

-# Do re mi fa so

-BOTH: La ti do

-# Do

-Do re mi fa so la ti do

-# Re mi fa so

-Do re mi fa so

-# Do re mi fa so

-BOTH: La ti do

-# Do

-Do re mi fa so la ti do

-# Re mi fa so

-Do re mi fa so... #

This is Sven and that's Sean.

NEILLY GROANS

'Everyone was having a brilliant time

'and the concert hadn't even started yet.

'Everyone except Liam.

'It was already past his bedtime,

'so now he was tired as well as miserable.'

If there's a prettier girl this side of the Trossachs,

I've yet to meet her.

Hi, Katie Morag!

Oh, my!

Oh, dear!

BOOTS STOMP

Oh!

What is it, darling? What's wrong?

I'm not singing.

We have a wardrobe situation.

Oh!

Well...

You just sit down here next to...

Peter, where's Liam?

He was right there.

I know he was, but he's not there now.

BUZZING

EVERYONE STARTS TO TALK

Oh, dear! Oh, my!

Liam!

Quiet please. Liam seems to have wandered off.

Can everyone please look for him?

THE TWINS: Righto.

-NEILLY:

-I'll go crank up the generator.

-Liam!

-Liam!

-Liam!

-Liam!

-Liam!

ALL: Liam! Liam! Liam!

OWL HOOTS

Right, now...

Which one is it?

An, tan, twosie, jerg

Erky, berky, fiddly, fell

El, dell, toorie, lum

You are it!

Ah, you're some man, Neilly Beag.

SNORING

Ha!

Bingo!

Don't you ever go off wandering like that ever again!

Of course, an ordinary man would never have noticed,

but my hearing has always been quite exquisitely sensitive.

We found him!

He was fast asleep in the back room.

-CROAKING:

-Oh, thank goodness.

Sorry, I don't speak Norwegian.

He's lost his voice. All that shouting!

-GRANNIE ISLAND:

-Lost his voice?

What about the duet?

Sean'll have to do it himself.

SEAN: I can't.

-NEILLY:

-Duets are usually a two-man job.

We'll have to cancel.

-GRANNIE ISLAND:

-Cancel? Oh, surely not!

There's nothing we can do.

I was so looking forward to seeing my boys up there.

'I don't think I'd ever seen Grannie Island so upset.

'I'd been so worried about my silly dress,

'I hadn't realised how much tonight's concert meant to her.

'But, like I said, brilliant ideas are one of my strong points.'

MUSIC PLAYS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, wasn't that wonderful, ladies and gentlemen?

ALL: Yes!

But now onto our grand finale.

And tonight, and for one night only,

accompanied on the guitar by the original Twin Tunes,

our very own New Twin Tunes!

Take it away!

APPLAUSE

# Oh, you cannae shove your grannie off a bus

# Push, push!

# Oh, you cannae shove your grannie off a bus

# Push, push!

# Oh, you cannae shove your grannie

# Cos she's your mammy's mammy

# Oh, you cannae shove your grannie off a bus

# You can shove your other grannie off a bus

# You can shove your other grannie off a bus

# Shove, shove!

# You can shove your other grannie

# Cos she's your daddy's mammy

# You can shove your other grannie off a bus

# Oh, we'll all go round to see her after school

# Hello, Grannie

# Oh, we'll all go round to see her after school

# Hello, Grannie!

# We'll all go round to see her

# We'll all go round to see her

# We'll all go round to see her after school

# Hello, Grannie! #

APPLAUSE

'I'm not at all sure who the star of the show was

'and it didn't seem to matter at all in the end.

'What mattered was that Liam was safe

'and we were all together.

'And that will do just perfectly.

'Good night, Grannie Island, from me and Liam.'