Katie Morag and the Big Shinty Match Katie Morag

# Katie Morag

# Run away across the ocean

# Katie Morag

# Over the sea to Struay

# Katie Morag

# Run away across the ocean

# Katie Morag

# Over the sea to Struay. #

'My name is Katie Morag McColl and I live on the Island of Struay.

'I suppose it's quite wee but it's ginormous to me

'and everyone looks out for me

'when I'm out and about having my adventures.'

# Katie Morag. #

There are three things my dad loves

more than anything else in the whole wide world.

His family,

the Isle of Struay,

and the most fantasmagarcly brilliant game ever invented.

Katie Morag.

SHE SHOUTS: Shinty!

Oh! I wish you wouldn't do that!

'Shinty's played with a stick, which we call a caman,

'and a ball which we call...a ball.'

-Go on, go!

-She scores a goal!

She shoots, she scores! Yeah!

Unbelievable, from the young talent.

'There are lots of really important cups and competitions.

'But the one we care about the most happens once a year

'when the Island of Struay plays the Island of Coll.'

Ahh!

'Though Dad really, really loves shinty,

'he's a wee bit rubbish when it comes to playing it.

'But he does know everything about the game

'so they made him manager of the team instead.'

'74. What a glorious year that was.

Coll were favourites but we went over there and we thrashed them 5-0.

Oh-ho!

The summer of '82.

Coll were winning, but they hadn't counted on our secret weapon.

Our baby-faced genius and goal-scoring machine

by the name of Neilly Beag.

Hah!

Ah, 2009. Three goals in the final ten minutes

and every one of them a classic.

And that was it. End of an era.

We've lost every single game since.

Well, this year is going to be different.

This year I'm in charge.

If those big shots over in Coll think they can come to Struay

and rub salt on our wounds, then they can think again.

No, sir.

Not on my island and not on my watch!

'Neilly Beag was the greatest shinty player Struay had ever seen.

'But that had been a really long time ago

'and he wasn't as quick on his feet as he used to be.

'So, when it was soon to be time for Dad to pick the team

'we thought he'd better go into training

'and me and Agnes decided to help him.

'Of course, me and Agnes couldn't help him when we were in school

'but Granma Mainland was always around

'to make sure he kept up with his training.'

Ah!

-How did I do?

-Two minutes slower than the last time.

There's something seriously wrong with that watch of yours.

-Are you all right?

-Of course I am.

-You seem a little out of breath.

I heard the Coll team were sending spies over here

to check on my condition

and I'm feeding them misinformation that I'm past it.

-When clearly I'm not.

-Of course not, you're fit as a fiddle.

Tell him, Peter.

Come on. Tell him he's not past it.

Look, I'm sorry, you're the greatest player this island ever produced.

The Messi of the Maca, the Pele of the peat stacks.

But time waits for no man.

What you saying?

I'm sorry.

You're off the team.

-Oh, take that back.

-Coll are heading for five in a row.

If they win this year they keep the cup. Understand what I'm saying?

-They keep it forever.

-I don't care what they keep.

-He's right.

-What?

Peter's the manager.

He's got tough decisions to make

and I reckon he's probably right on this one.

Come on. Let's go home and we'll put the kettle on.

Ohh!

-You have to understand.

-I don't want to hear it.

'We'd arranged to go training up by the Sabre Cliffs after school

'but Neilly Beag didn't feel like training any more.

'Not now that he wasn't in the team.'

-I don't even like shinty.

-BOTH:

-What?

Hitting a ball with sticks, I think it's silly.

It's not silly, it's poetry. It's art.

Did I ever tell you about the time I almost scored the winning goal...?

Baa-aa-aa!

Sh!

-What is it?

-Listen.

Baa-aa-aa!

Did you hear it?

It's Alecina. I'd know her bleat anywhere.

'Neilly Beag may not have been the best shinty player in Struay any more

'but he was still the best shepherd.'

You two stay back.

'In fact, he was probably the best shepherd in the whole of Scotland.'

Oh, no! She's stuck down the ledge.

-I'll need to climb down and rescue her.

-You can't, it's too dangerous.

But I've got no choice.

You wait here and we'll go and get Grannie Island.

-She can bring her tractor.

-All right, then, but hurry up, hurry up!

Baa-aa-aa!

Don't you worry, Alecina, we'll soon have you safe and sound in no time.

Huh, I'm a silly old fool, right enough.

There's me worrying about the shinty,

thinking it's the most important thing on Earth.

Well, there's things that are far more important.

'Struay people and Coll people are usually the best of friends.

'Except when it comes to the annual shinty match.'

They don't look like much.

MOTHER: Really? Look not too bad to me.

I think they look really fit.

Welcome to Struay, lads.

Oh! Thanks for bringing the trophy with you.

Be sure to take a nice long look

cos you won't be seeing it again for a while.

LAUGHTER

If you'd like to make your way up to the Post Office

we've put on a nice wee spread for you.

Welcome.

So that's why you made all those rock cakes.

There's nothing in the Camanachd Association rule book

-against stuffing the opposition up with stodge.

-Oh!

KATIE: 'We got to Grannie Island's super-quick

'but by the time we got back Neilly Beag had disappeared.'

Neilly Beag! Neilly Beag!

Oh, I think it was a two-man job after all.

I'll go and get a rope.

'Thank goodness Grannie Island was there.

'She tied a rope to her tractor and then threw it down to Neilly Beag.'

Get this round you.

Right, Neilly?

'Me and Agnes were really worried, but before we knew it Neilly Beag

-'and Alecina had been pulled back up to safety.'

-Here we go, Neilly!

That's it.

Come on Alecina, come on.

Oh, there you go, Neilly boy, well done you.

That's it.

You can run away home, Alecina.

Oh, sure feels good to be on solid ground...!

-Oh!

-Are you OK?

I'm absolutely fine.

Oh!

I think I've twisted my ankle.

-Ach, you silly old bodach.

-Give me your hand, ey?

Aye, well there'll be no more dancing for you. Come on.

-I can't put weight on it.

-Oh, come on, man.

CHEERING AND SHOUTING

And there's Aster Marsh in the Struay penalty box.

And it's... Oh, no!

CHEERING

Coll have equalised. It's Struay two, Coll two.

And if it stays that way,

Coll will be taking the trophy home with them and keeping it for good.

This is an absolute d...

It's a disaster. Where's Neilly Beag when you need him?

-Thought he was "past it."

-He can't be any worse than this lot!

I can't believe he's not here yet.

It's probably my fault, I hurt his feelings.

-Oh, I've looked everywhere. There's no sign of them.

-I'll try my mother.

-It's looking good for Struay.

-SHE MOUTHS

In the old days they might have hoped for a moment of magic

from legendary forward Neilly Beag.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yes.

I'll hand him right over.

It's for you.

Hello?

Oh, no!

What?

Me? But...

All right.

Struay are going to lose the cup. They're asking me to play now.

But I can't, it's impossible.

Oh, no!

Struay desperately need a goal now

but Coll's defence have built a seemingly impregnable wall.

Every passing second takes us closer to humiliation

of this once mighty island team.

SHOUTING

-Peter, I'm here! Get me onto the pitch.

-You've got to be kidding me.

Oh, my goodness. What happened?

Ach, it was nothing, I just fell off a cliff.

-I can't put you on in a buggy.

-Why not?

-There's nothing in the rule book against it.

-Exactly.

Mr Ferryman, off the pitch.

Caman, caman, caman.

You're substituted, Mr Ferryman,

It's a last-minute substitution by the Struay manager.

Mr Ferryman is off and Neilly Beag...

'We rolled Neilly Beag into the Coll penalty area

'and turned him to face oncoming players.

'And, then, everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

'It was as if Neilly Beag knew where the ball

'was going to go before the player had even hit it.'

NO SOUND

NO SOUND

NO SOUND

WHISTLE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

'So, Struay won the match and Dad said

'it would go down in the history books

'as one of the greatest games of shinty ever.

'Everyone said Neilly Beag was a hero

'and they rushed up to ask for his autograph.

'But the more I thought about it, the odder it seemed.

'Neilly Beag wasn't a hero cos he scored a goal,

'not even a goal as important as that,

'he was a hero cos he saved Alecina.

'But I guess that's not the kind of thing

'they would put in history books.'