Joy... to the World Lockie Leonard

# Walks away from anyone

# They were burning themselves out in the sun

# Walked away from anyone

# They were burning themselves out in the sun

# There was just enough

# To get that far away. #

'Hear that noise?

'It's kids,

'cheering.

'Why? Because these are the final moments

'of the last day of the school year.

'It's the sound of freedom.

'Well, for some of us, it is.

'All the other teachers have packed their pens

'and told their classes to scram.

'But not old Squasher.

'Old Squasher is taking this right down to the wire.

'As in "provide a written self-assessment of your development

'"this year."

'Well, what can I say?

'Vicki was a development. Big time!

'As in my first ever girlfriend

'Vicki also became the first girl to dump me...twice!

'And where are Vicki and me now?

'We're in a kind of limbo land.

-BELL RINGS

-HALT!

Did I say anyone could leave?

Class dismissed.

DON'T FORGET TO EMPTY OUT YOUR LOCKERS!

Free! Free at last!

Savour the moment

because we are about to say goodbye to Angelus High

for the next six and a half weeks.

Or forever in my case.

What do you mean?

I'll be going to boarding school in the city next year.

When was this decided?

Dad's trying to turn over a new leaf.

Thinking more about his family.

By sending you away?

It's my decision too.

-But you can't go. You can't.

-Why not?

'Cos I can't stop thinking about you.

'And even though you think we're history,

'I reckon we belong together.'

Yeah. Why not, Lockie?

'Go on, say it. Forget about the pain

'and all the hurt and the misery we went through and just say

'I...

CAR HORN

I've got to go. It's my mum.

I'll see you around...maybe.

Looking good, Lockie.

Sorry? What's looking good.

My widdle-ometer.

The doc reckons if I can reach six widdle-free nights in a row,

I'll be cured. Lockie!

Oh.

Can you believe it? The last box in my week is December the 25th.

So when the sun rises on Christmas morning

my bed-wetting nightmare will finally be over.

That's ace, Philip.

Good luck.

What good a Christmas present would it be for Mum

when she gets home.

KNOCKING

Could I have a word.

Lockie, I don't want to break this news to Philip as yet,

seeing as he's doing so well with his widdle-ometer.

What?

I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that, em,

Mum may not make it home for Christmas.

But she's been doing so well lately.

I know and we want her to continue to do well. So does she.

But the Christmas season isn't exactly a stress-free time.

for someone like your mother.

Given that she has the admirable quality of...

wanting everything to be, well, perfect.

Who could forget the great Christmas pudding debacle of last year?

Oops!

Mmm!

Or the year before that.

Sorry!

Yeah.

Or the year before that.

Oh-h-h!

Let's not tempt fate.

Let's start thinking of ways to make this the best Christmas ever.

Just...at the hospital.

Listen, Philip, might be an idea if we, em,

soft pedal a little bit on the whole Christmas thing.

Just take it a little bit easy.

Just don't make too much of it, OK?

You know how stressed Mum can get

about all the cooking and work and stuff.

Good thinking.

We all remember the great Christmas pudding debacles, don't we?

Exactly.

I'm not saying don't mention the subject of Christmas,

just don't dwell on it.

Oh, jolly good. Lovely!

Here's everybody. Oh, this is nice.

What's all this, then?

Oh I'm making Christmas decorations out of toilet rolls.

-Christmas decorations?

-Hello, boys.

Isn't it lovely and Christmassy, Mum.

-Someone's gone to a lot of work.

-Yes.

Which reminds me, Christmas shopping, Sarge,

have you ordered the ham?

Tomorrow, yeah, um.

I'll definitely do that tomorrow.

-We usually leave all that to you, Mum.

-Yes, I know.

And if I'm going to be home for Christmas,

I'd better start making some lists.

Oh, has anybody thought about the Christmas pudding?

No, I don't really care about Christmas pudding.

Never liked it.

Aw!

Look at all these sad faces. Come on.

Cheer up.

I'm gonna be home really soon.

'Soon - but when?

'And with Vicki about to leave town,

'this was to be the worst Christmas ever.

'Not that anyone had told Monster that.'

So what you doing, Col?

This is gonna be the best surprise for Dad.

I bet.

Vicki, I love Christmas, don't you?

Yeah, it's when you get everything you've always wanted.

Only if you've been good.

Yeah. I guess that's my problem.

I just haven't been good enough.

But it's Christmas, Dad.

It's the biggest week of the whole year.

I realise that it is indeed my task

to bring the joyful message of Christmas to the world.

But I don't mind saying,

This year is gonna be a bit of an ask.

Is this about you and Mum.

What about your Christmas rock opera.

You've been working on it all year

I don't know if I have the music in me,

let alone the spirit of Christmas.

I've heard it! I think it's some of your best work.

Nice try, son.

Another year, perhaps.

'So that's how Sarge, Philip and I ended up at Egg's place.

'After we'd said goodbye to Mum.'

We got the message. Something about a hit musical?

Had to find out about that.

Singing required, is it?

Sorry, Dad. Christmas isn't about your feelings.

Your gig is to be the opening act for the biggest star of them all.

-Good afternoon, Reverend.

-G'day.

I understand you're looking for volunteers

to perform acts of charity for the community.

Yes, indeed!

Come one, come all!

I've taken a good, hard look at myself, Rev.

I've asked myself the tough questions

and I don't like what I'm seeing.

If it's humility you're after, I'm your man!

'Seeing Vicki's Dad made me realise how much I'd missed Vicki.'

#..and even when I'm gone

# I'll be singing you a song

# So, whatever you want

# So, whatever you need

# Whatever makes you happy

# In places... #

Lights up to reveal the Christ born,

asleep in Mary's arms.

Enter stage left,

Three Wise Men.

Solid Gold, 50 Cent and MOR.

Uh, question.

Sorry, Rev, shouldn't that be frankincense?

I'm sure they brought gold, frankincense and myrrh.

No, I think you'll find it's a cunning play on words, Barry.

Solid Gold is obviously disco.

50 Cent is a hardcore rapper.

MOR...uh...middle of the road.

Easy listening.

Excuse me?

Well, the Three Wise Men have followed the Star Of Bethlehem

to the stable and they're each to present their gift

through music to the baby Jesus.

But where will we find the talent?

Well, I could dust off my white suit for the disco, I suppose.

What about you, Barry?

Singing? Oh, I don't think so, no.

No, I rather thought my role on the night would be to wash the feet

of the audience as they come in, as an act of self-abasement.

And we still need to find a hardcore-rap artist.

'Every time I looked at Mr Streeton,

'I thought about Vicki at boarding school

'and me not seeing her for months on end.

'I had to talk to her.'

Of course, Rev, if you think I'm up to the task

then I'm only too willing to give...give Elton John a shot.

-Mr Streeton.

-Yes, Lenny.

I remember Vicki saying once that Mrs Streeton

used to collect disco albums.

And I was wondering, maybe if I came home with you now,

I could borrow some.

So Sarge can nail his part in the rock opera.

Oh, my goodness!

Would you look at that, Larry?

I...I...

I love you, Dad.

Are you pleased, do you like it?

Wait till you see it all lit up!

This is going to be the best Christmas ever, isn't it?

Yes, Colin.

It's...it's very...

very...Christmasy.

Vicki, Lukey's here.

So, tell me about this boarding school.

What's to tell?

It's a lady's college, we've got a better uniform.

Lots of snooty rich girls, I suppose.

Dad reckons it's the best education money can buy.

Do you really want to go?

Sure, why not?

Yeah, absolutely...why not?

'Crash through the pain barrier, Lockie.

'Say something!'

Anyway, we've still got all holidays.

-You know, if you wanted to do stuff.

-Well, we haven't really.

We haven't?

Dad's taking us on a holiday.

It's the first time we've all been away in 12 years.

When do you leave?

Boxing Day.

But that's next week!

Gee, is it really(?)

I'd better go pack.

How long's your holiday?

Six weeks.

But what about...

'I so much wanted to say "us".'

What about what?

What about...

watering your plants while you're gone?

-I can do that.

-Sure.

Look, are you cool with this boarding school...

Yes, Lockie! I'm cool with this.

My family is back together, thanks to you,

and we're the happiest we've been in years.

We're all really, REALLY happy.

'No wonder Vicki was upset with me.

'All I had to do was give her one reason to stay

'but I'd blown it, my last chance, down the toilet.'

DING! 'But then I had an idea.

'What if I left something in Vicki's room

'so she'd have to come and see me again and return it?'

You're so right, Geoff.

If I can't have a bit of fun this week, I'm in the wrong job.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Mr Squasher.

Rumour has it you're looking for spare hands for the rock opera?

And since, with the school year finished, I...

find very little to while away the hours

in the squalid boarding house I call home...

..I'd like to offer my services.

Lockie, I don't know how to say this to Sarge

but I reckon Mum won't be home in time for Christmas.

What? No, of course she will.

Night, Lockie.

Night, Philip.

BOTH: Night, Mum.

Night, boys.

BOTH: Night, Sarge.

Night, soul-groovers.

Night, Vicki.

'Over the next five days we gave Rev's Christmas rock opera our all.

'and before we knew it, it was Christmas Eve.'

KNOCKING

'And Sarge had gone to the hospital to see if Mum could come home.'

You left something at my place.

Oh, did I?

What was that?

Oh, right. My sherbet.

I've been looking everywhere for that.

Must be important for you to leave a note with it.

It's pretty special, yeah.

I've really been missing it.

"If found, please contact Lachlan Leonard,

"87 Swamp Road, Angelus.

"Reward if returned."

So, where's my reward?

Would you like to have my sherbet?

Would you really give me something as precious to you as all that?

I'd give you everything if I could.

Look, Lockie. About the boarding-school thing,

things have been a lot happier at home

since my brother's been back living with us.

That's good.

I'm not so angry with my dad anymore.

Which means...

..I feel I've got to along with things

when he's trying to do what's right for me.

I just want to go back to us fighting all the time.

You've got no idea how lucky you are, Lockie.

You haven't got the slightest idea.

CAR ARRIVES

Mum!

Where's Mum?

Is she coming home?

'But the show must go on.

'My job was to help Monster

'who'd done a great job with the lighting design.'

And Mary brought forth her first-born son

and wrapped him in swaddling clothes

and laid him in a manger

because there was no room for them at the inn.

Meanwhile local shepherds attended their flock

when an angel appeared, telling them, "Don't be afraid.

"I bring news of joy.

"For today, there is born to you

"and all people, a Saviour."

OK, Monster, cue the Star Of Bethlehem.

Here she comes. Go baby, go.

ELECTRICITY BUZZ

Power cut. No, no, no!

I've overloaded the system!

MURMURING

There can't be a power cut, look.

Not possible! We don't have any power.

BOTH: It's a miracle!

The Three Wise Men have followed the Star Of Bethlehem

to the lowly music stable

where they are each to present their gift of song to the baby Jesus.

# Bounce, bounce, bounce, yo!

# I'm talking about the mayhem in Bethlehem... #

MUSIC PLAYS

We got power back.

# I'm talking the mayhem in the Bethlehem

# With my Three Wise Men and a lowly den

# Come into the house as quiet as a mouse

# Don't wake the baby

# He might be the Son Of God

# Bounce, bounce, baby... #

'Rev's rock opera was going off

'but all of a sudden, I felt like I was a million miles away,

'watching the whole thing through the wrong end of a telescope.

'I just had this silly hope in my head

'that I would turn around and there would be Mum,

'coming in through the door at the back to join us.

'But I guess we'd already had our miracle for the night.'

APPLAUSE

And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

join me, please, as we sing

that most beautiful of Christmas carols...

THEY SING "Silent Night"

Do you need a hug?

Why don't you just ask me for one?

You know, Lockie, sometimes it's better to say things with your mouth

than just think them in your head all the time.

I've been watching you go through all this stuff with your mum.

I think you're doing an awesome job.

I think you're a total legend, Lockie.

I need that hug, please. If it's still OK.

Actually, Vicki, there is something I want to say.

I don't want you going off to any stupid boarding school.

I don't care what you have to do.

I want you to stay here.

Well, you took your time saying that.

I suppose I could talk to Dad about it.

But why do you want me to stay?

Because I love you.

And that took even longer!

ROOSTER CROWS

HE SHOUTS EXCITEDLY Woo hoo!

'Why should Christmas Day be different to any other morning?

'So, I went surfing.

'Mum, is that you?

'Mum, are you actually real?'

Come on, slacker. Hurry up!

SONG: "You Needed More" by The Sleepy Jackson

I don't believe it!

Oh, Lockie. I'm for good.

THEY CHEER

# ..Is that your brother

# In undercover?

# All through the summer

# To slip at winter

# It's unreturning

# You don't deserve me

# You don't confirm me

# We play the same love in your town

# As we play in ours

# We play the same God in your town

# As we play... #

'Sarge was right.

'It was the best Christmas...

ever!'

# ..Maybe your brother

# Or your sister

# Right at your mother

# Fools on the water

# Swings in the quarter

# You know I saw ya

# Songs for your father... #

# Boy, is breaking

# Underneath the weight of strain

# Hey, hey, hey

# Hey, hey, hey

# Worlds away from anyone

# They were burning themselves out in the sun

# There was just enough to get that far away. #