The Details Lockie Leonard

'Status report -

'today the sun's going to come up, the same as on any other day.

'People are going to wake up and have a bowl of cereal,

'same as they would on any other day.

'But today, everything is different.

'Because today, Lockie Leonard, finally, you're a teenager.'

ALARM RINGS

Lockie... Are you awake?

Excellent.

Let's do it.

Quietly, now.

Ow! CLATTERING

DOOR CREAKS

'The big one-three. 13 years old.

'As in, unreal.

'OK, 13. But does it feel any different, Lock?

'Same little brother. Same Outer Space bedspread

'I've had since I was three.

'Hello! Is there anything that isn't different?

'Body hair in new and unusual places?

'New school? Girls so awesomely cute, you forget how to talk?

'Give me a break!'

Shh... Are you sure he's still asleep?

Guaranteed, Sarge, out like a light.

'Yeah, OK. Some things are still the same.'

We don't want to give him a shock and have him end up on life support!

Here we go...

'Come on, guys!

'I need to go to the loo!'

Go, go, go, go!

ALL: Surprise!

Hey, guys, what's this? What's going on?

-Happy birthday, Lockie.

-Happy birthday!

Now, this one's from Nan and Pop.

Nan and Pop? You're kidding? They never remember our birthdays!

I had a lengthy discussion with them before I let them leave to go home.

Wow. Love it. Far out.

I got you a book.

The Big Bang:

A Short History Of Expulsions and Explosions.

Can I borrow it when you've finished?

Maybe you should just look at it first.

Yes!

Lockie...this is from your mother and me.

Happy birthday, son.

-It's not exactly brand new, Lockie.

-In fact, it's...pre-loved.

So, someone may have piddled in it before you.

It's just, your other one has perished so badly,

it was looking like an old tortoise's neck.

This is the best present anyone's ever given me!

Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Sarge.

Now, Leonard family tradition

dictates that birthdays and such are celebrated

with a Mexican feast at the Tacky Taco

-in Westmoreland Street in the city.

-With all your little friends.

But, as said restaurant is some hundreds of miles from hence,

we'll be celebrating at the Blue Fin Chinese restaurant

in busy downtown Angelus. Your table awaits at 7pm.

And, if you're quick, you can test out that wettie

-before heading off to school.

-Thanks, Mum! Thanks, Dad!

'The wet suit was a beautiful thing.

'And gee, was it ever making a difference!

'This was my 5th wave already and I was only just beginning to shiver.

'I surfed till my hands felt like second-hand sausages

'and still came out of the water with a great big smile on my face!

'If this was my teens, I'm up for it!

'And that's when it started.'

CREAKING

Aaagh! I'm trapped! As in, totally!

OK, losing oxygen. Stay calm, don't panic.

Can you hear me in there?

'I wasn't sure who it was, but I was fairly sure it wasn't Old Squasher.'

Help!

-Help!

-Stop complaining, you dill.

I can't get out!

Oh!

'For one horrible moment, I thought all my skin had come off.

'It was Vicki. As in, Vicki Streeton.

'The girl I'd been crazy about for weeks.'

So, you're a surfer, hey?

I'll try to overlook it.

-What?

-Surfers think they're so hot.

They think everyone loves them the way they love themselves.

But hey, it's just not possible.

So, why are you talking to me?

Life's full of mysteries.

So, you won't expect me to sit on the beach

like some dumb, adoring surf chick.

No, I'm not sure...

'If you've ever wanted to know what heaven is like,

'it tastes of vanilla ice-cream and smells like strawberry topping.'

I'd better be going.

Erm...

It's my birthday.

Happy birthday, then.

I'll see you at school. We can sort the details out over recess.

Yes!

You're looking mighty pleased with yourself.

That's because I've just kissed the most adorable boy in the universe.

Surely you mean Lockie Leonard - the world champion surfing ace?

Sasha, hold the front page - celebrity update.

Vicki and Lockie Leonard are an item.

Vicki, darling, not so fast. Have you sorted out the details yet?

No, but Mum, Lockie's so much more of a hunk now he's 13.

Who cares about the details

when the important thing is we're finally together!

Isn't that right, Lockie?

'Of course it was. I didn't care what the details were either.

'That kiss of Vicki's was such a knockout,

'my brain had packed up for the day.'

So, if I was to drop by the station say...just after school?

Around 3.15, 3.30?

When Niall will be colouring in our morning tea roster

-and Lisa will be on the front desk.

-Excellent!

So?

How was the wet suit?

It's changed my life.

It's a personal selection of real music.

Cast Irons to Metal Mortals - the psychotic years. Happy birthday.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey! No need to fall over yourself with gratitude!

-I was only up all night burning that!

-Hey, Lockie, how's it going?

-Hi, Lockie.

-Hey, Lockie.

-Hey...Lockie?

-Hey, Lockie.

Egg, have you ever kissed a girl?

-No!

-Hey, Lockie.

But to continue...

I don't know if you even realise,

but I think you've just become... popular.

Lockie! I understand you've committed

to a relationship with Vicki? That right?

You're kidding me! Is that right?

Well, yeah, I guess so.

Then we need to discuss "the details".

-What are "the details"?

-Egg, you will never need to know.

I think it's only fair to warn you what will happen

if you even so much as look at another girl.

It's my task to introduce you to a number of handy rules

which you will be required to learn by heart.

Assume that boys like movies

where lots of people get killed very quickly,

whereas girls prefer movies where one person dies very slowly.

You have in front of you a selection of personal care products.

These include deodorant.

Whiffy boy smells may be amusing in the locker room,

but have no place on that special date.

This brings your presentation to a close.

On your way out, you'll see a bin

where you can dispose of any information

that relates, in any way, to surfing.

Thank you for your attention.

Break any of these rules and you WILL be dumped.

Have a nice day now.

Mate! My work here is done.

'Class, the miracle of Shakespeare'

is the way his words speak to us across the centuries,

with words so fresh, they could have been penned this morning.

I thought this morning was pretty special, myself.

So, Mr Shakespeare's tale of Athenian lovers.

Hermia and Lysander, together with Helena and Demetrius,

is just the same now as it was in Elizabethan times.

Vicki - we've discussed the text in detail,

now tell the play in your own words, with expression, please.

So, fair Lysander, how's your day been so far?

Uh...you know, pretty good.

THEY LAUGH

I suppose I've realised, I just love being with you. All the time.

It's as if, from now on, every spare moment I have,

I want to share that with you. Together.

Really? What about surfing?

And who knows, fair Lysander, maybe one day, we could get married.

-ALL: Oooooh!

-'Married! Did she just say "married"?'

Enter Helena and Demetrius, please.

Chicky babe. You want it, I got it.

Get your hands off me, loser!

Oh! Oh!

-Excellent improvisation, you two!

-I'm not acting!

I'm in sickening pain!

So, were you acting, or did you really mean what you said

about doing everything together, all the time?

Sure I did. I want to keep you all to myself.

For ever, obviously.

For heaven's sake! Can someone get a Band Aid

-and smelling salts from the sickroom?

-I'll do it!

'There was more to having a girlfriend than I'd imagined.

'And taking time out to do your own thing was shaping up as a problem.

'Maybe I needed to go to boyfriend school and work on "the details".

'Hold on - here's someone new. I haven't seen her out here before.

'Wow - look at her go! Good move!'

Aagh!

HE SPLUTTERS

Are you all right?

You surf really well.

You're awesome.

Yeah, I know. You're kind of marginally OK yourself.

I haven't seen you round. Are you new in town, like I am?

Yeah, kind of.

'This girl was an awesome surfer.

'She paddled like a demon.

'Her wave judgment was perfect. And she was...

'No, hang on - what was I doing even looking at another girl,

'breaking the first rule of "the details",

'when I was still recovering from when Vicki kissed me?! Over there!

'This morning!

'OK, Lockie, time to flee the scene of the crime.

'Unlike me, Philip only had eyes for one girl at a time.'

Lisa! Of all people! Fancy seeing you here!

Hey, Philip.

-What's the book?

-What? Book?

Oh, this? This book?

You might find it interesting, Lisa, given your love of science.

Wow. It's brilliant.

Mmm, it's a little on the juvenile side,

but not without a certain appeal.

"To Lockie, 13 big ones".

Oh, don't worry about that! Would you like to borrow it, perhaps?

Take your time, relish every page.

Sarge! I was just saying to Lisa, she should come along to dinner tonight.

Lockie's birthday bash? Excellent idea, Philip.

'I'd broken the first rule of "the details" in record time.

'All because I looked at this surfer girl called...

'OK, turns out I don't actually know what her name is.

'Come to think of it, I didn't know anything about her!

'Unlike Vicki, who I've been crazy about

'since the first day I saw her.'

So you like me, and you love kissing me,

but when it comes to...surfing, you'll have a much better time

-doing that stuff with her than me. Is that it?

-No...

Then what's so boring with me that you'd want to look at another girl?

Vicki, there's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect.

You're totally awesome.

-I thought you said I was awesome.

-I was talking about your surfing!

Right. So apart from when you're surfing,

you're saying you don't want to hear what I'm thinking?

Like, getting married?

Just because I'm this dumb surfer chick?

I don't even know you! If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk to you.

Or look at you. Ever again!

So you're just going to ignore me until graduation?

Graduation?

Oh! That's right!

Surfer girl said she's new in town.

That means she'll be coming to school!

We could all end up in the same class!

That'd be good for you. You wouldn't know where to look!

KNOCK ON DOOR

Lockie... Vicki's at the door. She wants to talk to you.

Oh, man!

-Hi, there.

-Hi.

I thought you were a bit upset with me today

cos I hadn't got you a birthday present.

-So, now I have.

-Oh!

Thank you.

-So, are you doing anything special tonight?

-Pssst! Psst!

Oh, no, no, no.

We'll just be staying at home. Quiet evening with the family.

You know. Might get the old Monopoly board out or something.

OK, then.

Monopoly.

I'd better shoot.

OK. Thanks for coming round.

-And the pressie, of course.

-My pleasure.

'I felt terrible lying to Vicki.

'But I didn't trust myself not to say something stupid

'and make things even worse.

'Tonight, I just wanted to feel safe with my family.'

Oh, baby! Bring it on! Oh, yes!

Tonight's the night!

Ow-eeee!

Lisa! Hello.

These chopsticks really bring out the colour in your eyes.

Now if anybody should happen to mention bedwetting,

could you change the subject? And I mean, fast!

I'm on fire! Whoo!

Champagne, Sarge? For Lisa?

And you and Mum, of course. Is one bottle enough?

-What do you think, Lockie?

-Champagne?

Take it easy there, Philip.

I'll just have what everyone else is having.

How does the Deluxe Banquet sound?

It's a good price, considering what you get.

And Lisa, I hear it's to-die-for.

'Yep, you had to hand it to Team Leonard - Loonies Anonymous.

'We're all so crazy, you just relax and go with the flow.'

Oh, my God, look - it's the Leonards!

Hello, Joy! Hello, everyone.

You all know my husband, Barry, the mayor of Angelus. And Victoria.

It's great here, isn't it?

I'm a big fan of the Deluxe Banquet.

When you consider what they give you, it's worth every cent!

Maybe you'd like to join us?

Oh, no! Private function - don't let us interrupt.

We've booked our own table.

Lockie - the man of the moment. What would you like, son?

Keeping in mind...

Excuse me.

'OK, so things had taken a bad turn all of a sudden.

'But I was still hopeful there was a way out of this. For Vicki and me.

'I just needed time to think.

'But then, life got a whole lot worse.'

It's you! What are you doing here?

Erm, toilet. Who are you?

The beach? This afternoon?

-We said hello. Remember?

-No.

Great. That's fantastic.

Look, whatever you do, don't sit at my table. Don't wave.

Don't even look at me, OK? We've never met before. Understood?

I don't even know you.

'I had two choices. Either go back in there and come clean to Vicki

'about breaking the rules.

'Or lock myself in the toilet until graduation.

'Then the first instalment of Mr Streeton's Deluxe Banquet

'made up my mind for me.'

Aagh!

That's right - the beach! This afternoon.

You said that I was awesome.

Is she the reason you've been acting so weird?

-Why didn't you say something?

-No...

I was going to. Of course I was.

-But, erm, I didn't.

-How long have you known her?

Not long. Three hours max. It's nothing!

I don't even know her name.

Just enough time for a quick game of Monopoly.

So tell me, why should I believe anything else you say?

Have you opened my present yet?

Maybe you shouldn't.

Maybe you should get back to me when you've grown up a bit.

In about 25 years!

Lisa... Our family has a number of traditions.

One of which is, erm... my birthday poem.

"When as a family we huddle He's not too big for a cuddle

"Our first-born by name of L Leonard

"And whatever we miss It's never our kiss

"Our first-born A teenager now

"One foot in the door of adulthood And the trials he must jockey

"But for his mother and me And Blob and Philip makes three

"There'll only ever be one Lockie."

Happy birthday, son.

Blow out your candles, make a wish.

'I wish...

'I wish I was 12 again.

'And today had never happened.'

Come on, everybody!

Group photograph!

Vicki, Sal, come on! Come on!

Positions, big smile.

Nice and close, nice and close.

And...smile!

Oh, that is lovely.

-That is...

-Waiter?

The lady would like to send her compliments to the chef.

Watch and learn.

'Tonight, the moon will rise,

'just the same as it would on any other night.

'People will find their way to bed, as they would on any other night.

'But tonight, everything is different.'

Tonight, Lockie,

was perfection.

'13 years old. It already felt unlucky.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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