Back to School Marrying Mum and Dad

This is Marrying Mum And Dad!

Where you get to organise your parents' wedding!

Lean back and hold on tight, OK?

You're a real superhero!

That means you're in charge, you can do whatever you want!

-You're going to make mum wear one of those?

-Yeah!

Mum and Dad do know they're getting married.

But they have no idea where or how!

I was not expecting that!

It's literally a pig's ear!

Will the day be filled with chaos?

Or confetti?

Follow the yellow brick road!

Today, this pair of school kids are taking control of their mum

and dad's big day...

With the joining of hands, I now pronounce you,

Caitlin and Jack, officially 100% in charge!

Will they be kept behind after school?

-My worst nightmare.

-Be good, otherwise there's no food.

Or will they end up top of the class? Champion!

-We're about to find out.

-Because we're marrying mum and dad!

CHEERING

Welcome to Marrying Mum And Dad, the show that puts kids in charge

of one of the most important days of their parents' lives.

Two eager wedding planners are going to be organising

their mum and dad's wedding.

So let's find out what today's wedding planners have got in store.

On today's show, we're in Birmingham.

Let's meet the bosses of today's Marrying Mum And Dad.

Hi, I'm Caitlin and I'm 11.

Hi, I'm Jack and I'm 10.

Jack and Caitlin have come up with a cheeky theme that might not

get them top marks with their mum and dad.

They're teachers, they're always bossing us around.

-It's revenge time. Our theme is...

-Back to school.

So it's back to school for Mum and Dad.

I wonder how Caitlin and Jack are going to do this?

Hope it doesn't end up with detention all round.

I know! There's no time for that, there's only four weeks

and there's so much to do.

There's the venue, the transport, the outfits, the entertainment.

-The...

-Oh, please, miss! I know this one! The cake.

-Very good, Ed, gold star for you.

-Yes!

There are just two weeks until the big day,

so this is going to be a tough examination of Caitlin

and Jack's wedding planning skills, but they're ready for it!

We make the perfect team,

because Caitlin is the brainy person and she'll be like, "Yup, that one."

And I am like the cheeky one. Hee-hee!

We are going to send them down to a little child,

like in primary school,

and we are going to be the teachers who boss them around, so kids rule!

It's up to us now.

And how do Mum and Dad feel about all the surprises to come?

I have got complete confidence in them,

especially the pair of them together, the pair of them

together, I think they will do something brilliant.

Brilliant for who though? That's the question.

Let's find out what's up first in Caitlin and Jack's lesson plan.

Caitlin and Jack told me to meet them

here for the cake creation, but this appears to be a chemistry lab.

All they've said is the cake's going to go with a bang.

Let's see what this is all about.

They are reacting!

I thought you guys were making a cake,

not destroying a science lab!

What's that got to do with cakes?

-Chemical cake.

-A chemical cake?

-This is what the cake's going to look like.

-Right.

-It's going

to look like a mad science experiment on a desk.

Well, it's certainly mad! It's the craziest cake I've ever heard of!

The beakers on Caitlin's drawing will be made from sponge

and covered in glow-in-the-dark - yes, glow-in-the-dark - icing!

The first recipe Jack, Caitlin, and science expert Dr Nate

are cooking up is liquid nitrogen ice cream.

I thought I'd demonstrate this by taking this beautiful rose here.

-So romantic.

-Aww. There it goes. Let's see what happens.

In seconds, the nitrogen freezes the rose solid!

-What?!

-Whoa!

So we can use liquid nitrogen to make ice cream really,

really quickly, and the quicker we freeze ice cream down,

the smoother and creamier the taste is.

Hubble bubble toil and...ice cream!

-It's not witchcraft, it's science!

-Sorry.

Oh, I can feel it freezing up inside there.

-Isn't this the weirdest cookery class ever?

-Yeah.

I have some ice cream.

Do you want to have a try?

-That tastes quite good.

-Yeah, really cold.

-Mmm.

-That's a 10 out of 10!

Next, Dr Nate creates a flaming rainbow by adding a flammable

liquid to some chemical salts which burn in different colours.

Lithium goes a really dark red colour.

The last bit of edible chemistry is the glow-in-the-dark icing

that Caitlin wants.

While they're cracking on with that, let's find out what Mum

and Dad have done to deserve such a...creative wedding.

We want them to get married because they are always

taking us to hobbies, spending money - kerrching! -

and they deserve it.

They take me to dancing all the time, take me

to school, take us everywhere, like a taxi service.

Hopefully they have remembered all the good things we do for them,

not so much of the bad things, and we'll have a fantastic wedding day!

But will going back to school be "fantastic"

for two teachers who already spend all day in classrooms?

Back to the cake.

-One bowl of UV icing. Shall we ice some cakes?

-Yeah.

Looks like regular icing so far.

You two are good at making a mess, aren't you?

Yeah, we're professionals.

Professional mess-makers!

Straight in there!

That is beautiful work, well done.

I'm just amazing at everything!

Time for the gob-smacking glow-in-the-dark finish.

It looks amazing.

All we need is for those beaker shapes to be made from sponge and...

-Do we declare this chemistry cake a success?

-Yes!

-Cake sorted?

-Yes.

Chemistry class over. Next lesson - transport!

Caitlin and Jack aren't missing a trick

for this school-themed wedding.

Yes, it's a school bus!

Go, go, go!

Who is going to be on this bus, then?

-Mum, Dad, us.

-You lot.

-Nan and Grandad, all of the guests.

-All of the guests, me and Ed, it's going to be a party bus.

-Yup.

Who's going to be driving?

-There's only one person old enough for that.

-You.

-You want me to drive?!

-Yup.

-There may be no bus left

-by the time we get to the wedding, you realise that?

-That's fine.

-You trust me to have a go?

-Yup.

This could be a disaster. I have never driven anything this big.

To test if I'm road ready, Caitlin

and Jack are setting up an obstacle course.

Cuddly toy. Wibbly wobbly jelly.

We're all set.

Welcome on board Marrying Mum And Dad 1, how are you feeling?

All right-ish.

All right-ish?! That's probably better than I'm feeling!

Let's hope those animals don't get crushed under

the wheels of this bus.

-Yes!

-Yay!

Phew, Panda stayed put.

I'm putting the crash into crash course with this bus driving.

It's all squished!

Everybody off the bus, let's see how I got on.

Let's see if Caitlin and Jack still want the bus, even if

my attempt at driving it is a bit of a mess!

I've got two questions for you.

-Is this transport sorted?

-Yes!

-Definitely.

Number two, should we get a new driver?

-Yes.

-A qualified one.

A big tick for the big yellow bus.

Up next - entertainment.

Caitlin and Jack have called in some very shouty personal trainers

to train us up and teach us a lesson!

What entertainment do you want at your mum and dad's wedding?

We are doing training so we can have a sports day,

cos we want to thrash them.

OK, that's enough of that, you're not here to talk!

So the kids want a sports day.

And we're starting with an eggs-tra tough

egg and spoon obstacle course.

Let's go! Straight over the first hurdle!

We're going to make you the fittest, fastest

egg and spoon racers in the world!

-Are you sure your mum and dad are going to want to do this?

-Yeah.

-On their wedding day?

-Yup.

-It's going to be the worst wedding ever.

Why do you think this is a good idea for the wedding?

So we can beat them, because they're

always telling us off, so we can tell them off when they don't win.

I can't believe you're going to put them through this,

-this is harsh.

-Let's go!

Sports day is a dream!

-Seriously, you have to do this with an egg?!

-It's a cup of tea!

I'm cracking up! Egg joke.

And then even Jack starts losing it!

Let's move it! Up on your feet!

Grrr!

Into the sacks. Think about the sack, be the sack! Let's go!

This is quite hard with an egg!

-Is that entertainment sorted?

-Yes!

I am never doing this again.

Entertainment - in the bag!

-It's break time! Because with our chemistry cake...

-It's awesome!

-Big yellow bus...

-Yay!

-..and egg-based entertainment organised...

-Grrr!

Caitlin and Jack are halfway through

planning their mum and dad's wedding!

But time's ticking and there's only one week

until this very special school day starts.

Back at home, how are the bride

and groom-to-be coping with all the secret planning?

-They are being very secretive at the moment.

-They've been brilliant.

They've not given away anything.

-That's quite scary.

-I am trying to think of everything

I've done wrong in the past two months!

Dad must have been very naughty, because Caitlin

and Jack are making sure their parents are in no doubt

who are the teachers and who are the pupils at this wedding!

I quite like that blue there.

The best part of the wedding is going to be when you see them

in their costumes.

They're going to be wearing school uniform.

My mum's face is going to probably go out like a tomato - bright red.

She might look really nice in a school uniform.

You heard right, they want Mum and Dad in full school uniform,

right down to the dreaded school tie.

But Caitlin and Jack don't want any old tie -

they want to design it themselves.

We want our parents' initials, G and A. Green polka dots.

-Green polka dots?

-Polka dots?

-Yeah.

-We have our green polka dots.

-Yay!

-Round of applause for Neil.

This is Britain's biggest tie factory

and it's working flat out to create a school tie fit for a wedding.

Elaine, you are the speediest sewer around.

Probably a good job,

because we've only got two hours to make these ties!

While the ties are being cut, sewn and pressed, a special

badge for Dad's school blazer is being embroidered.

Time's tight, so Caitlin and Jack need to lend a hand.

-That's good.

-Yeah, good.

-Excellent, excellent.

-Good, good.

-Watch it come out the bottom.

Hooray!

Oh, he's done it! Bravo.

That's it. 50 ties completed in record time.

But this is only a very small part of the uniform,

there is loads more to sort,

so you'd better get going because I'm a bit tied up!

Just the rest of the uniform to go. The clock is ticking, Ed.

-So what do we need?

-Shirts.

-Shirts, like this?

-No, like a proper shirt.

-What size are they?

Here you go, some trousers.

-Are they grey ones all right?

-Yeah.

-OK, good.

-Grey skirt?

What colour blazer do you want?

-Black.

-Is that going to go? What colour is this tie again?

-Er, pink.

-With green polka dots.

I said quick, Ed, but I didn't think you'd actually THROW it together!

Two to be on the safe side!

Take that one instead. HATS! Cowboy hats?

-No.

-It'd be a bit weird, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

-Who would wear these?

-My mum.

-Good. Looks lovely on you.

You're going to be a teacher, aren't you? Jack, come here.

There we go. It really suits you.

Wait, Ed! This will be perfect for Mum's dress.

Oh, bags! Everyone has a school bag.

-Feel the pain.

-It goes with your eyes!

Please help!

-So we've got hats.

-Yeah.

-ties.

-Yeah.

-Bags.

-Yeah.

-Skirts.

-Yeah.

-Trousers.

-Yeah.

-Blazers.

-Yeah.

-Shirts.

-Yeah.

-Is that everything?

-Yeah.

-Outfits sorted?

-Yeah.

-Great, let's go, don't forget anything.

-You come back and help!

-Come on!

Phew. Outfit organised.

Now just the small matter of where to hold the wedding.

Where are we going to put it on? We're not going back to my school,

I couldn't wait to get out of that place.

-We want somewhere like Hogwarts.

-Magical.

It's funny you should say that, because as if by magic,

look where we are.

-Shall we have a look around?

-Yeah.

It's a school.

This school has been here for nearly 160 years. That's old-school!

Nice creaky door.

Why do you think it would be good for the wedding?

-Because it's just that old sort of...

-Old school.

It does feel like a proper old school.

You can imagine teachers walking around with mortar boards shouting.

But let's rewind. Is an old school

really where teacher Mum would want to get married?

I would love the venue to be somewhere away from everyday life,

something really special.

No running in the corridors!

Ah. Going to school to get married isn't "away from everyday life" or

"special" for a teacher.

I hope Caitlin and Jack know what they're doing.

How many hundreds of school kids

have been bored in assembly in this room?

What could we use this room for?

-We could use it for the...

-Ceremony.

Why would it be good for the ceremony?

Because it's got all the old-fashioned benches,

the old-fashioned pictures...

-BELL RINGS

-That bell is for me, not for you!

Sorry, I just like saying that in schools.

We all know what that bell means - lunch time!

-And this is the dining hall!

-I really like it.

It looks like Hogwarts.

It's like a miniature version of Hogwarts, isn't it?

Caitlin and Jack have got some more cheeky ideas about how to keep

Mum and Dad in their place as schoolchildren.

Do it! Listen to me! I'm a teacher.

We could have big furniture to make my mum and dad look small.

And have smaller furniture for the teachers to make them look big.

That would work. So your mum and dad would look really tiny

-when you are telling them off.

-Yeah.

-So Caitlin, are you happy with

-the venue?

-Yeah.

-Jack, are you happy?

-Yeah.

-You can both see your parents getting married here?

-Yes.

-Is our food going cold?

-Yeah.

-I think it is. Let's tuck in.

Yeah, really cold.

Venue booked and Caitlin and Jack

are nearly ready for the wedding.

They've got school uniforms for grown-ups, an exploding cake...

..and a venue that's completely the opposite of what their mum wants.

They've certainly done all the homework

they can to make this back-to-school theme a success!

This will be perfect for Mum's dress!

It's the night before the wedding and Mum, Dad, Caitlin

and Jack are travelling to a hotel near their mystery venue,

so that the school day can start on time tomorrow.

Mum, Dad, we're on our way to the hotel. How are you feeling?

Do you have any ideas about what the wedding's going to be?

Maybe a football wedding, because all the boys

and Daddy are really into football.

Or maybe a dancing wedding, because you started the ball rolling with

all of this and you like dancing, so maybe a dancing wedding.

Have you got any other ideas?

Er... Can you think of anything else?

-DAD:

-I don't know.

-ED:

-That's right, you really have no idea. And now it's too late.

It's the morning of the wedding

and Mum and Dad are completely in the dark about what's going on.

At the wedding venue,

Caitlin and Jack are on a deadline with the final preparations.

And there's just two hours until this very special school day starts.

-And we've still got loads to do.

-I know, come on, come on!

Let's go, let's go.

-Table.

-Yeah. OK.

-Caitlin, let's try it!

-OK, I'll hold it.

It's actually really far down.

-I'm scared now.

-We look tiny from up here.

-It's so scary.

The supersize furniture is in place.

Back at the hotel, Caitlin and Jack have transformed themselves

and me into teachers.

Now it's time to bring in those naughty schoolchildren

and reveal the wedding theme.

Will it be gold stars all round,

or lifelong detention for Caitlin and Jack?

I do hope you two like surprises.

Are you two ready to see what you are wearing for your wedding day?

After three, you are going to take a look.

Three, two, one, look!

Wow.

I knew I could feel a draft. My milk bottles are out on television!

-Can you guess what the theme could be?

-School?

-Possibly!

A school theme. So if you two are going to be the children,

any guesses what Caitlin and Jack might be?

-My worst nightmare!

-Teachers.

There's something missing off your uniform.

-Tie.

-This is your tie and its got yours and Mum's

-favourite colour, mine and Jack's and your initials.

-That's brilliant.

-Thank you.

-How do you feel, Mum?

I probably looked like this when I was five.

-There's one other thing.

-Oh, the badge!

Oh, guys, that's really good, well done!

Now that's all sorted, marvellous! Outside, you lot,

-because we have another surprise for you.

-Follow us!

These pupils need to get to school

and I think we can hear the transport coming down the drive.

# The wedding guests on the bus go what have the kids done?

# All day long! #

Where's your ticket, madam?

I can't wait to see what everyone else is wearing.

This is going to be fantastic.

I'm your bus conductor today. I'm Russ Pass. That is my name.

Get on board, children, the school bus, or should I say, party bus.

And these wedding guests are certainly

getting into the spirit for this bonkers bus journey.

# The bride on the bus says I didn't think I'd be wearing this!

# All day long! #

When we first saw that big yellow bus come as the transport, our jaws

just dropped!

Brilliant. Absolutely fantastic!

Everyone off! Because we've arrived at school.

It's time for Mum and Dad to get married.

Please make your way through for the wedding assembly.

Will you stop chatting, please?

In the school chapel, what a special assembly this is.

It's time for Mum and Dad to get married.

We are here today because of Caitlin and Jack,

Anthony and Gemma's two oldest children.

They decided that after 17 years of engagement...

LAUGHTER

it was about time...

it was about time they got married.

I give you this ring as a symbol of our love.

Anthony, I give you this ring as a symbol of our love.

When we are apart, look upon it and think of me.

Anthony and Gemma!

APPLAUSE

That's it, Mum and Dad are now married.

After 17 years, to officially say that we're married

-is weird, but in a good way.

-Makes us sound really old!

Yeah, we're really, really happy.

-BELL RINGS Lunch time!

-Everybody in!

And in Caitlin and Jack's supersize school room, it's time for lunch.

-I'm Sam.

-And I'm Ella. Hold on. Salmonella?

That's not very good, is it?

-School dinner time!

-Come and eat our delicious lunch!

Toad in the hole. Made with real toad.

-Have a little bit more mash.

-There you go.

As the guests tuck in to their traditional school dinner,

what do our newlyweds make of the day so far?

Caitlin and Jack have done amazing when it comes down to the

venue, the choice, the clothes, the amount of detail they've put in, it

makes it for us even more special,

that they've gone to so much trouble. It's been brilliant.

After lunch, it's pudding, and everyone needs safety goggles

for what Professor Tess Tube and Dr Ed Splode are about to show them.

Good afternoon, students, good afternoon, teachers.

First off, we're going to do exploding canisters.

And after the mad professors have set off the bubbling beakers

and multicoloured flames, they amaze the guests

with the gobsmacking glow-in-the-dark icing.

When they came out and did their mad scientist routine,

it was just them at their best.

Mum and dad, we give you your wedding cake!

That is just one of the most amazing cakes I've ever seen!

But don't fill yourselves up on that cake everyone,

because today's entertainment is on the way.

It's a PE lesson by games teachers Anita Sweatmore and Jim Nasium.

Right, you horrible lot!

Caitlin and Jack wanted to teach you, Mum and Dad, a bit of a lesson,

so we've put on a super-sized students versus teachers sports day!

-Are you ready?

-Three, two, one, go.

Sports day is off to a flying start.

Will it be triumph for the teachers or will the kids rule?

With a dive for the line, it's victory to Caitlin and Jack!

Sadly, for the losers, you're having detention and lines.

And more PE lessons with me! Run back that way!

Move it, move it!

Let's hear it for our champions!

The school day is nearly over.

Because Mum and Dad met at a school dance all those years

ago, Caitlin and Jack have put on a special school disco.

But, oh, no. Look who they have booked as the DJ!

Yes, yes, yes, this is me,

Master Groove, laying it down on the wheels of steel!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

As the teachers and pupils all get their groove on,

has this wedding been an A-star, or an epic fail?

That's what makes it even more special for us, isn't it?

Not only are we married now, but our children have gone to such

an effort to make sure we have had the perfect wedding.

At school, everyone says,

"My mum and dad have been married for 18 years,"

and I'm like, "My mum and dad have been engaged for 18 years!"

And now I can officially say they are married.

It's been an amazing day. One of the best days of my life.

-They've just pulled off the wedding of the century, I think.

-I think so.

Today has been absolutely fabulous.

It's been brilliant, the whole thing.

-Big thumbs up, Caitlin and Jack.

-Yeah, brilliant!

-We sent them back to school.

-And it's been an education.

Now, that was a lesson in how to organise a wedding.

Childhood sweethearts Gemma and Anthony are finally married.

-BELL RINGS

-Settle down, that bell is for me...

Wedding's over.

School's out.

MUSIC: "Schools Out" by Alice Cooper