Dogs Marrying Mum and Dad

-Marrying Mum And Dad is back!

-CHEERING

'Say goodbye to boring, traditional ceremonies.'

And hello to crazy, action-packed weddings.

Woo!

But with only four weeks, can they pull it off?

Put your back into it.

It's the only show that puts kids

in charge of their parents' wedding day.

Open your eyes.

THEY LAUGH

Ew!

Bigger, better and more outrageous...

Than ever before!

This wedding was...

Incredible, amazing and crazy.

Woo!

On today's show, we've got three terriers with a barking mad idea

for a wedding.

Tyre, through. Weave, weave, weave.

Their parents have no say in any of the plans.

I don't think either of us are very good at not having control.

But will this marriage end up being best in show?

-Dodge, hello!

-Oh, yeah, this is a good welcome, isn't it?

Or will Mum and Dad's big day just end up feeling ruff?

You're going to feed your guests dog food?

-We're about to find out.

-Because we're...

-ALL:

-Marrying Mum And Dad!

-This is Marrying Mum And Dad.

-The wedding show with a twist.

-Yes.

The people actually getting married have no say in their wedding.

-Instead, the kids are in charge.

-It's basically, a massive risk.

So let's meet today's planners that are about to hijack

their mum and dad's wedding.

Today, we're in Derbyshire where three siblings have come up with

a right tail-wagger of a wedding.

Meet alpha dog Tom.

Our mum and dad have been engaged

for ages and we think if they'd organised it,

it would've just been a plain, boring wedding.

Right on Tom's heels is younger brother Oliver.

I think it's going to be

funny, exciting and unique.

And finally, their little sister Isabelle.

We've got lots of exciting things

and stuff for our mum and dad.

Completing the litter are their dogs,

Buffy and Flo.

But who are the barking parents letting these guys take over

their wedding?

There's Mum Jane.

I'm quite excited about the day.

But when you do start to think what could go wrong,

then extremely nervous, on the verge of hyperventilation at times.

And Dad Adam.

My main worry is that we really have no idea what they have

in store for us.

Every now and then I get this little bit of a sinking feeling

because I realise that I haven't got the control over this

and really have no idea what's going to happen.

Well, Dad, that's exactly how things go down on Marrying Mum And Dad.

Speaking of which,

what do these kids have in store for their parents?

We want this wedding to be barking mad.

We're going to be a special breed of wedding planner.

It's going to be paw-some!

-ALL:

-Because our theme is -

dogs.

A dog-themed wedding. What an interesting PAW-posal.

Ha! Nice.

I can't see howl they'll do it.

Ha-ha! Still, I suppose it'll give the family a new leash on life.

THEY LAUGH Yeah, that's good.

-Where are you going?

-Where he's going?

-DOG WHIMPERS That was funny.

-It was funny.

Our wedding wonder kids have already come up with some ideas.

But with just four weeks to organise the lot, it's no walk in the bark,

so our organisers might need some help.

It's the Great Dane of wedding planning.

The Marrying Mum And Dad mobile HQ.

It's got everything you need to plan a wedding and it's

slobbering out tech.

And best of all, it's a parent-free zone.

It's going to be pulling up to our kids' houses,

so the whole wedding can be prepped in private.

-Whoa!

-Ta-da!

-Come on in.

-It's not very discreet, is it?

Oh, we don't do discreet on Marrying Mum And Dad.

Certainly not. Now it's time to get this party started.

-We've gone for a dog-themed wedding.

-Yes.

What's the reason behind that?

Well, we've got two dogs of our own and our mum and dad,

they just love dogs, so we're going to have them dressed up as dogs.

-Both of them?

-Yes. Everybody, including me, Oliver and Isabelle.

-If they love dogs, they'll probably be happy to be a dog. ALL:

-Yeah.

Er, I'm not sure every bride would like to be dressed up as a dog

on their wedding day, Tom, but maybe dog-mad Mum is different.

I think my ideal outfit would be a glamorous, glitzy dress.

Uh-oh. Looks like Jane's going to have to settle for a furry dress.

But let's hope Dad's got a better idea of what's in store.

I think the worst outfit would be something which is really ridiculous

and looks really, really silly, embarrassing.

Is getting married wearing a dog costume silly or ridiculous, Naomi?

Yes. But has Dad never seen this show?

So let's jump to it.

First thing we need is to go fetch some top dog wedding entertainment.

What better way to entertain the guests than with some dog agility?

With one small difference.

It's Mum and Dad, not the dog, who will be put through their paces.

-That was really good. I think that's really the one we want.

-Yeah.

And after a few phone calls...

Hi. We were wondering if we could come down and try some dog agility.

-SPEAKERPHONE:

-'Yeah, I'll get the equipment set out for you. Cheers.'

Bye.

It's time to see if this idea is a goer.

Double through. Good girl!

-Dog agility is an obstacle course for dogs.

-Steady on it. Steady.

Testing their skills, physicality and obedience.

Back post. Post...

The idea is to get the dogs around without making any mistakes.

If they do a faultless run, then it's the quickest dog that wins.

-Come on.

-Hey!

-That was so cool.

-Good girl!

-Do you want to have a go?

-Yeah.

How hard can it be?

Let the Marrying Mum And Dad agility championships begin!

Over.

Tom is quick out of the blocks with Tia

-but misses the tunnel completely.

-Come on.

Oliver's dog Ted may be slow but makes mincemeat of the tunnel.

Oh, wait, hang on. He's more interested in looking for food.

-He's gone where the treats are.

-He's gone to find more food.

Tyre, through.

Isabelle's dog Meg may be slower

but is making light work of all the obstacles.

-Over!

-Weave, weave, weave.

Having the faster dog makes Tom the firm favourite.

-Go up, go up.

-Meg get's a helping hand on the seesaw.

Over, over. Over.

-Tia nails it.

-Walk.

-And Ted's having none of it.

-Come on. Over, over.

But who's the winner?

Tom, you just got it.

What sort of time do you think Mum and Dad will get?

I don't think they'll do it as fast as the dogs.

Well, I guess we'll just have

to find out how people do it on the day.

No, I think you should do it.

Oh, I knew you were going to say that.

Come on, Ed, jump to it.

Ooh, you look really graceful.

-'Oh, thanks.'

-Only joking.

You look like a right border wally!

Oh, it's full of dog hair.

Ugh!

'I'll have you know, I've got the

'style of Ashleigh and the speed of Pudsey.'

Yes! This is brilliant entertainment for a wedding. Woohoo!

Let's hope Mum and Dad think so.

With a bit of luck, it won't

woof-fle too many feathers.

DOG WHIMPERS

Transport is next on the agenda,

but the kids have ended up

chasing their tails trying to find a canine-themed car.

We were wondering if you have a car shaped like a bone.

-SPEAKERPHONE:

-'No. That's a bit of a funny request

'and I don't know where I can help you.'

So, after a few knock backs, it's time to think out of the box.

How about if we have, like,

bloodhounds and then have some kind of scent trail, kind of,

and then we'll get them to see if they can track it.

That's a good idea.

The kids want a bloodhound to lead Mum and Dad to a wedding venue

using only its sense of smell.

'Sounds risky.'

So the kids have sniffed out Evelyn and her dog to see if this idea

has got legs.

-Hello!

-Hi.

-So who is this?

This is Porter. He's very skilled.

He tracks people and dogs.

Bloodhounds have the best noses in the dog world.

Their sense of smell is 60 times stronger the humans.

They are used by police to solve crimes and also track down

missing people and animals.

If I were to go disappear and just get lost somewhere,

-could Porter find me?

-Yeah.

You'd need a part of your clothing

and he should be able to come and find you.

Well, it just so happens that I carry a sock around with me

at all times for just such occasions.

Poh! That smells.

So, let's test Porter, see if he can find me.

OK, I'm.

Uh! I'm glad I don't have to smell that sock.

DOG WHIMPERS

'I'm not going to make it easy for Porter, so I've changed my clothes.'

WHISPERS: I am a criminal mastermind.

Watch how I seamlessly blend in with the crowd.

'I'm his worst nightmare. That's right, a cat burglar.'

-They'll never find me in 'ere.

-What's going on with your voice?

It's time to see if this canine has got the credentials.

Let's go.

Find her. Find her, find her. Where's she gone?

Porter is off to a rocketing start

and straightaway he's on to something.

-RECORD SCRATCHES

-No.

But it's not Naomi, it's a pigeon.

-Find her.

-CHILDREN GIGGLE

Porter is a bit distracted by everything, like the noises

and the pigeons.

Find her.

I don't think Porter is going to find her.

It's been 25 minutes and with so many distractions Porter still

hasn't distinguished Naomi's uniquely pongy musk.

If this dog can't find me as Naomi,

how is this going to work on the wedding day?

Slightly worried.

Fortunately, after 45 minutes of wandering blindly around,

Porter latches onto her scent...

Find her. Find her.

..and leads the kids straight to her.

-Good boy!

-Got me, got me.

Well, you found me eventually, but it wasn't that easy, was it?

-Do you still want to go with this on the wedding day?

-Yeah.

Well, let's hope Mum and Dad can find the venue or it's not going

to be much a wedding.

Transport sorted! Sort of.

The kids have got barking plans for outfits,

but the reality of finding someone to design dog costumes

is harder than you'd think.

We were wondering, would you be able to make us some costumes

for our mum and dad's wedding?

-SPEAKERPHONE:

-'What sort of costumes were you looking for?'

Dog costumes.

'Do you have some pictures of what you think they might look like?'

-Yes.

-Absolutely.

We can get those pictures sent

to you and then maybe you could help us make them?

'Yes, we can do that.'

Canine costumes it is, then.

And it's looking Jane will miss out on her dream wedding dress.

I think I'd like a bit of glamour,

1950s film star, golden era would be lovely.

I wouldn't get your hopes up, Mum,

because these kids have got different ideas.

All right, guys, let's get designing.

Looks good, Tom.

Dad gets the Saint Bernard treatment.

Woof!

-How's yours coming along, Oliver?

-It looks like a badger.

-Get a picture of this.

-Mum is going to be a glamorous Dalmatian.

Eh!

'And they've got something especially in mind for Ed.'

-A dog bone.

-There we are. That's Ed's costume sorted.

Little face looking all sad in the middle.

-Now all that's left is to send them off.

-Let's get these uploaded.

-Yes.

Put in his e-mail address. Send those designs.

-We're sorted.

-Yes.

-Yes!

Let's hope they're the best in show.

No Marrying Mum And Dad wedding

would be complete without an outrageous cake,

and these planners are pushing the theme to its limits.

Speaking of which...

-You're going to feed your guests dog food?

-No.

We want the cake to look like this.

-Oh, you want the cake to look like dog food?

-Yeah.

A wedding cake that looks like a dog's dinner?

Have these guys lost the plot?

Let's make the weirdest cake ever.

'First dog food combo is sponge cake and chocolate icing.'

Oh, whoops!

There we go. Lovely.

I thought we were making cake look like dog food, not dog sick.

Lick the spoon, go on. Yay!

-So what do you think of that?

-It didn't really work.

It kind of just, like, breaks down.

Let's try something else.

'Next up is chocolate cake and caramel.'

Oh-ho-oh! Look at that.

-Do you want to lick the spoon as well?

-OK.

-There you go.

Quit messing around, Ed. We've got doggy chow to make.

Who's got the one that looks most like dog food?

-Yours.

-Yours.

-Yeah!

'And last up is modelling chocolate with caramel sauce.'

Doesn't look very appetising.

That's the real stuff.

-That's much...yeah. That's much better, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-So, what's your favourite combo?

-This.

-Yeah.

'Can you spot the difference between the genuine article and the fake?'

High five. Yeah!

Well, I hope so.

If not, it might be heading straight for the bin

when Mum and Dad see it.

For this wedding, the kids will need lots of outdoor space for

a dog agility course.

So they've brought me to a venue that could be suitable for

this four-legged fiasco.

Let's go and have a look around.

-Whoa!

-It's massive.

From the front, the signs are good.

But it's what's round the back that really matters.

Whoa, that's a lot of space.

-That is a lot of space there for some dog agility.

-Yes.

Mum and Dad are going to be jumping through hoops, going over jumps,

-getting stuck in the tunnels.

-And falling over.

-Yeah.

-All the guests barking and cheering them on.

-Yeah.

-Nice.

And Tom has got a radical idea for the ceremony.

I think that's where we should get married.

-We could make it look like a kennel.

-Ooh! That's a good idea.

So, plenty of space for Mum and Dad to run around like idiots.

And a dog kennel for them to get married in.

What more could a mum and dad want on their big day?

-Sound good?

-Yeah. Sounds paw-fect!

-Ah-ha-ha! Nice.

Oi, Tom! Leave the bad puns to me.

That's the venue collared.

-With just four weeks to plan everything...

-Send those designs.

These kids have pulled the dog out of the bag.

-Oh, look at that, no.

-Good boy.

The good...

Oh! Oh, no, Oh, no.

-The wag...

-Whoa, that's a lot of space.

-..and the pugly.

-DOG MUTTERS

Doesn't look very appetising.

With all that sorted, we're just missing a judge for dog agility

and I think I know the perfect pooch for the position.

PHONE RINGS It's ringing, it's ringing.

Hello, Hacker's phone.

Hello. Is that Hacker?

'No, it's Dodge. Hacker is...'

-(Hacker's not here.)

-'I'm here with three friends who are'

planning a wedding, they want to tell you about it, all right?

Oh, yeah. I want to hear all about it. I can't wait.

'Well, it's going to be'

a dog-themed wedding.

'Ooh, this sounds like'

an invitation. Ha-ha!

Yeah, it is an invitation.

What? You want me to come?

'Yeah.'

We'll give you anything you want.

'Yeah, I can do it'

for three bowls of exclusive bin juice.

-'Do you think you can stretch for that?'

-Yeah, I think so.

-Yes.

-'Nice one.'

Then you've got yourself a deal, baby!

-Yes!

-Yes!

-Thank you, Dodge.

-'I'll be there.'

Bye.

So, with a celebrity dog confirmed,

this wedding just got a lot cheekier.

But in the thick of all this planning, Adam and Jane

and looking more hangdog than hot dog.

-TOM:

-'It's the day before the wedding. How are you feeling?'

Quite nervous at the moment.

Terrified.

'What are you hoping for tomorrow?'

I'm hoping we'll have a nice day.

Everyone's going to enjoy themselves.

We're not going to look too silly.

Silly? 'Course not. I'd say getting dressed as giant dogs is barking!

It's the morning of the wedding and

the team are putting finishing touches to the doghouse

where Jane and Adam will be getting married.

And Mum and Dad are getting the first idea of what the kids

have in store for them.

I am wondering where I am and what is happening and what this

furry thing is.

Just wait till I see the children.

It's not glamorous dress Mum was hoping for.

Oh, no. And it's getting worse. There's headgear as well.

Mum and Dad might not be the only ones in the doghouse today.

With everyone dressed as dogs, it's almost time to reveal the theme.

But these cheeky canines have also used some of their tricks on me.

So hang on, let me get this straight, this is a dog wedding

and you've dressed me up as a cat. CAT MEOWS

-Yeah.

-Thanks very much, brilliant.

-You'll be fine.

-Will I? Yeah.

Stop complaining.

At least you're not dressed like this.

SHE CHUCKLES True, true.

-Right, shall we get Mum and Dad in?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Hope they don't eat me.

We're going to position you in front of a mirror, OK?

Fingers crossed these outfits don't make Mum and Dad go walkies.

Keep your eyes shut for now.

-How are you feeling, Mum and Dad?

-Terrified!

-Nervous.

-On the count of three, you're going to open your eyes.

-OK. Here we go.

Three, two, one, open your eyes!

Oh, my word! What have you done?!

Happy wedding day!

Any guesses what the theme could possibly be?

Think it could be dogs, couldn't it? Thank you, Isabelle.

Thank you, boys.

OK, let's get you two canines married in bone-fide-y way.

Off we go.

Uh, as a bone, I find that joke very offensive.

Next up is Mum and Dad's transport.

And while all the guests get ready for a big doggy treat,

Mum and Dad are dropped off near the venue.

Mum and Dad, are you ready to find out how you'll get to your wedding?

-Yes, please.

-Yes, we're ready.

-Tom.

Well, to find the venue you're going to have to find Ed, but you can

only use your sense of smell.

-Is he that smelly?

-He is pretty smelly.

-Yeah.

But don't worry, we've got somebody to help.

SHE BLOWS WHISTLE

# You ain't nothin' but a hound dog...

HE CHUCKLES

TYRES SCREECH

# You ain't nothin' but... #

Oh, you blew that whistle.

I was having a nap and next thing you know I'm driving up the M1.

Ha-ha-ha!

What on earth is going on? What are you all dressed as? Why?

-ALL:

-Dogs.

-Oh, yeah.

Dogs' dinners, more like.

But look, what on earth is actually going on?

We need Mum and Dad to find the venue by sniffing out Ed.

Oh, that shouldn't be too hard. Hang on, I've got a good idea.

I picked up a hitchhiker on the M1, he was wanting a lift.

Maybe he can help. Stay where you are.

It's Porter, the bloodhound!

-Hello, Porter.

-We look a bit different this time.

'But let's hope he's upped his game,

'otherwise this wedding could be over before it's even started.'

It just so happens I have one of Ed's stinky socks right here so,

Porter, Porter, get a whiff of this.

Smell that, smell that. Smell it.

'After getting a nose full of Ed's stinky sock, Porter should follow

'his scent trail all the way to the venue.'

-Find him! Porter, this way. Find him, find him.

-Find him, Porter.

'But he's gone completely the wrong way again.'

This is going ever so well. No, not the horse, the bone.

I don't even think this sniffer dog is going to get here.

I've heard he's rubbish.

'I wouldn't be so cocky, Ed.

'It looks like Porter has finally locked onto your pong.'

Find the bone. Now he's on it.

Oh, there's no stopping him now.

Just topping up my tan. I think I look a bit pale.

'Don't get too comfy, Ed, Porter has miffed you out.'

PORTER BARKS

I'm done for! Argh!

And led Mum and Dad straight to the venue where all their pack -

I mean guests - are waiting.

It's all your family and friends.

Now that Mum and Dad have found the venue,

it's almost time for them to get married.

But first, they're going to have to demonstrate that they are

the right pedigree in a dog agility bone-anza.

Good afternoon. DOG GROWLS

Hss! DOG WHIMPERS

Welcome to Woofts!

OTHERS BARK

Dogs are so stupid. Apparently, this is Britain's premier dog show.

OTHERS HOWL Stop it!

New to the show we have a Dalmatian called Mum,

a Saint Bernard called Dad...

Silly names.

..and ten-times champion of Britain

and a holder of four global top dog cups, it's Logan!

APPLAUSE

Hm, champions rarely speak.

Commentating on today's proceedings will be Dodge T. Dog

and some posh country bloke.

It really doesn't get much bigger than this.

I'm expecting a good, clean fight.

Let's keep it all above the belt, OK?

-ED WHISPERS

-Oh, they're going to box each other?

The rules are quite simple. The fastest around the course, wins.

Any obstacle missed or gone around the wrong way

will result in a fault,

so the fastest time with the least mistakes wins.

ALL HOWL

Time to see who's best in show.

First up, it's Isabelle with reigning champion Logan.

It's a very open contest although you would have to say that Logan

is probably the favourite due to the fact that he is an actual dog.

Three, two, one go.

And they're off!

RECORD SCRATCHES

-It's not exactly what you'd call a great start, is it?

-No.

It is nice to stop and have a good old sniff every now and then.

-You love to have a good old sniff, don't you?

-I do.

HE SNIFFS

Ha-ha, success!

-We're off!

-Hold on.

-Oh, no, we're not. Back around that.

-Oh, good jump there.

-Nice move, yes.

He's making a right dog's dinner of this.

Ha-ha-ha! Good joke, yeah.

Dog-related banter, always good.

Weave, weave, weave.

Just going round and round and round.

In and out is the way to do it.

-This is a dark day for dogs.

-Yeah, terrible day for dog dog.

As a dog yourself, how do you feel about this performance?

I feel let down. Entirely let down.

With Logan's run complete, next we move onto Dad with handler Tom.

Now, they're a very awkward breed, the dad dogs.

Always want to sit in the same armchair, bossing people around.

Three, two, one, go.

-And they're off!

-Away he goes. Ooh, tight squeeze.

-Not exactly what you call graceful but...

-He did it.

Through. Oh, my gosh, can you get through?

It's going very well. Tom must be very pleased with this.

Through. Oh, my gosh, he can't get through that one.

-We've got problem here, haven't we?

-Oh!

-Go!

Yes, there's more than one obstacle. There's the tunnel and Dad's bottom.

I think we might need a pipe cleaner to get him out.

-Anyone got a plunger?

-Over.

-Over the fence and look how happy he is.

-Good job.

Not in any way embarrassed at all about what he's just been through.

-Finally, we have Mum with handler Oliver.

-Oh, yes.

She just can't wait to go. Look at her chomping at the bit.

Three, two, one, go.

-And she's off.

-Away she goes.

-Very unconventional there. Foot first.

-Yeah.

Through.

She slipping into the tunnel a lot quicker than the dad dog.

Like a rat up a drain pipe.

It's what every woman dreams of on her wedding day.

Walk, walk. Over.

-Very dainty hop over the finish line.

-I'm proud of her.

-She got a good time.

-I'm very proud of her.

Thank you!

That was an incredibly exciting contest.

The crowd were on the edge of their paws and here are the scores.

So, Isabella ran at 01:27, with five faults.

Adam run for 51 seconds with zero faults.

And Jane ran at 52 seconds with zero faults.

So that means, Adam won.

The dad dog is the winner, the mum dog came second and the

actual dog is a massive loser.

DODGE LAUGHS

With Dad named Best In Show,

it's time for all the mutts to gather round.

And for these two pooches to finally get married.

Jane, I give you this ring in the presence of our family and friends.

Adam, I give you this ring as a token of my love, as a symbol

of our marriage.

OTHERS CHEER

That's it. After 14 years together, Adam and Jane are finally wed.

And no canine ceremony would be complete without cake.

Oh, no. Every dog loves din-dins.

-Mum and Dad, are you ready to see your cake?

-Yes, please.

Oh!

Though this isn't what most bride and groom's would want to

chow down on for their wedding day.

Ooh, meaty.

The kids have organised a great day-ne for Mum and Dad.

And a cake fit for a king...Charles spaniel.

But how did Mum and Dad find their canine celebration?

Today has been absolutely brilliant. It's just been the best day ever.

That's the way to eat it.

I'm amazed at what they've done. So very, very proud.

I think it's something we'll always look back on, isn't it?

-And giggle.

-And laugh at, yes.

And how did our three little terriers think it went?

-It was really good.

-Yes, it was better than I thought it would be.

And Mum and Dad really enjoyed it and I'm really glad they did.

-ALL:

-This wedding was barking.

What a blockbuster of a wedding.

Indiana Bones And The Temple Of Groom.

Yeah. Or Jurassic Bark.

But please, can we get out of here now? I'm outnumbered.

Yeah, those dogs have been eying me up all day.

-DOG BARKS

-Leg it!

No, get away from me. Bad dogs!

ED SHRIEKS