Scarecrow Marrying Mum and Dad

ED: Up and down the country, parents are getting married

in normal, traditional ceremonies.

Normal weddings are quite...boring.

-NAOMI:

-But fear not, Britain, because we're fighting back.

Open your eyes!

Kids have set themselves the challenge of a lifetime...

Quiet on set!

..to organise their parents' wedding...

Bring it on!

..and to make it a day that no-one will ever forget.

CHEERING

Will they manage it?

I am quite nervous to plan it.

Will Mum and Dad like it?

It could all go completely wrong.

And will they finally say, "I do"?

We're going to rock this wedding.

ED & NAOMI: This is Marrying Mum And Dad.

-Let's get down to business.

-Let's get down to business.

On today's show, we're down on the farm...

Ooh! It whiffs around here.

..with a fantastic four, who are planning on causing

a right old stink.

-ALL:

-Ugh!

But will their plans hit the mark?

Or "welly" it be a resounding success?

It's going to get really muddy.

Welcome to Marrying Mum And Dad, the only show that puts you

in charge of planning your parents' wedding.

Yes, you really are responsible for sorting out one of the most

important days of your mum and dad's whole life.

So, what are we waiting for?

We've only got a couple of weeks - better get cracking.

Today, we're in the north-east...

..with four wedding planners, just chomping at the bit

to sort out Mum and Dad's big day.

Meet eight-year-old Arnie.

My mum and dad haven't got married yet because they haven't had time

and I think they wanted us to do it.

My mam and dad haven't got no idea what we've got planned for them.

And his sister, Martha - but she's a bit young to help.

But, fear not, because he's recruiting his three bestest buddies

to lend a hand.

And they are Coby...

..Alfie...

..and Will.

But surely they're not going to be too mean?

-ALL:

-We're going to be mischief-makers.

Oh.

Basically just torture them.

Ah.

So, who are the unlucky parents who have drawn the short straw

in letting these four plan their big day?

We have Mum, Louise...

I'm thinking, like, oh!

When you see these four kids doing the wedding and they're all boys,

like, nine-year-olds, you just think, I don't know.

I really don't know what they're going come up with.

..and Dad, Keith.

I'm saying I'm excited, but, like, on the other hand,

I'm thinking, oh, you know?

What, what, what, what possibly could they think of?

I must admit, I haven't got a clue.

I have not got a clue.

OK, boys, give us a clue.

It's going to be crazy.

The things that we've got planned are dirt, soil...

They're not going to see anything coming.

Sorry, lads, I've still no idea. You'll have to tell me.

-ALL:

-We're talking about scarecrows!

This wedding calls for someone with seriously green fingers,

and, luckily, I know just the bloke.

Excuse me, we're planning a scarecrow-themed wedding and I just

wondered if you might be able to help me, please?

Sorry, it's my day off.

Oh, please, Mr Bloom!

But, Naomi, I'm checking my stocks and shares, and I tell you,

it's the right time to be investing in turnips.

All right, I'll just have to do it myself, then, won't I?

What do I know about scarecrows?

Erm, if you check under their armpits,

you can see if it might rain.

Oh, my days.

All right, look, I'm going to have to help out here,

otherwise this wedding's going to be a right disaster.

But, first up, let me get some dry wellies, eh?

Arnie and his mates have already been hard at work

planning Mum and Dad's wedding.

So, it's time to give this dynamic foursome a hand

and get this planning moving.

Cue the trusty Marrying Mum And Dad Mobile HQ.

The perfect accompaniment for some serious scarecrow-based scheming.

Hey, boys, it's the Marrying Mum And Dad Plan Van.

Do you want to come in and get planning this wedding?

-ALL:

-Yeah.

-Come on, then. Come and check out the van.

-Whoa!

-Wow!

Now we're all in, it's time to get planning.

Well, let's get down to business.

-Let's get down to business, shall we?

-Yes.

You have decided you want to have a scarecrow-themed wedding.

-Why?

-Cos me mum's got an allotment.

I was wondering if I could choose a theme which, like,

had something to do with the allotment, so I asked Coby.

He said maybe scarecrows, and I liked that idea.

So, you're going to make Mum and Dad a scarecrow.

-Yeah.

-A bride and groom scarecrow.

-Yeah.

-Have you ever made a scarecrow before?

I've made a papier-mache head for a scarecrow,

but I never got the body finished.

-So not a, kind of, life-sized one made of straw and stuff?

-No.

-So, we need somebody to help us make this scarecrow, don't we?

-Yep.

-Yep.

Luckily, I know an expert in this field.

-Well, do you reckon this is the right place?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Arnie and Coby head off to meet Mr Bloom in a Yorkshire village

that holds a scarecrow festival every August...

-CREAKING

-Very squeaky gate.

-That it is.

..making it the perfect place to get some inspiration

for Mum and Dad's outfits.

All right, then, so here we are, lads, with Jenny. Hello, Jenny.

Hello.

So, we've got a scarecrow-themed wedding, haven't we?

Do you think you could give us some ideas of how we might dress

Mum and Dad for the wedding?

We're going to start by stuffing some tights to make arms and legs.

Well, that's one way to give them a hand.

Shake a leg, Mr Bloom - we don't have long until the big day.

But would being dressed as scarecrows be Mum and Dad's

idea of wedding bliss?

Or would it be the final straw?

If I was choosing something to wear,

I'd probably like something which is quite nice material,

that felt nice and felt, kind of, pretty.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what you had in mind, Mum.

It hurts when you put your hand in.

Straw's very scratchy.

Sometimes when we're making scarecrows, we use hay.

-Do you?

-Because it's a lot softer.

-Yeah.

But straw looks nice, because it's more traditionally...

Unfortunately for Mum and Dad,

they're going with traditional straw...

..which will probably be the only traditional thing

about this wedding.

When we built the scarecrows, I thought it was really fun.

I got inspiration in quite a lot of ideas for making the scarecrows

for Arnie's mum and dad's costumes.

So, what type of dancing moves is your dad going to be doing?

-Scarecrow.

-Scarecrow?

-Er, yeah.

Oh, nicely done, Arnie.

Anything else?

Maybe would he do the robot?

Eh, yeah.

I'm not sure he'll be able to manage that,

attached to a wooden pole.

So, lads, has this given you some good ideas for the costume

-for the wedding?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, I like...

-And with all the crazy bits of straw as well.

Yeah, cos I like, like, when we put they, like, straw in their hat,

then put it on his head, it looks like a real scarecrow.

What about your mum?

Erm, I like, like, the flowers, like how me mam's, like, holding them.

Tell you what, why don't we have a quick straw poll?

Lads, who do you think looks the fanciest?

Is it Mum or Dad?

-Dad.

-Dad.

-He's looking dapper, isn't he?

-Yeah.

And that's the inspiration for our outfits well and truly under way.

Or should that be under hay?

No, under way.

We know what Mum and Dad will be wearing,

but how are the boys planning to get them to their wedding?

So, have you had any thoughts on how Mum and Dad are going to arrive

at this wedding?

We were thinking a tractor, but, like, we thought, like,

well, it's not really fun.

Then I thought of wheelbarrows.

You what?

Or, like, a shopping trolley that we could put them in.

You're joking, right?

So you want to dump them in something that you can push?

Wheelie bin.

-Wheelie bin?

-Yeah.

What are these guys thinking?

Let's hope this wedding doesn't end up being completely rubbish.

These kids have definitely got it in for Mum and Dad.

But what will be their perfect wedding wheels?

So, for transport for my ideal wedding, I'd probably like a kind of

quirky vintage car.

Well, it might be quirky and probably quite dirty.

Not to mention downright ridiculous.

Sorry, Mum.

Let's wheel in our wedding planners' idea of the perfect transport.

But which one will they choose?

Now, are we serious about maybe putting Mum and Dad

in a wheelie bin?

-Erm, maybe.

-Maybe.

Shall we see if it smells nice?

-ALL:

-Eugh!

-Poo-ee, that whiffs!

Oh, no!

We can't do that to Mum and Dad.

-No.

-No.

Option one is a has-bin.

What about their second choice?

All right, a shopping supermarket trolley.

The wheels might get stuck on the grass.

Yeah, that's true.

Wheels on shopping trolleys are notoriously difficult.

-So, no to that.

-No.

-Yes.

They'd definitely need to be off their trolley to choose that one.

What about a wheelbarrow?

I quite like the look of it this,

-cos it goes pretty well with the theme...

-It does.

..and I can see, like, erm, I can see the hay in the bottom of the scarecrow,

a bride and a groom scarecrow in it.

I've got a feeling this is going to be wheelie good.

Yeah, very punny, Naomi.

We'll barrow this to test it out.

We've enlisted the help of a couple of professional wheelbarrow-racers

to help them find out.

Yes, there is such a thing.

These guys wheelie are experts.

Can you stop saying wheelie?

But it's wheelie funny.

Oh, give me strength.

The boys are kitted up and ready to go.

Please do not try this at home.

Unless you also have professional wheelbarrow-racers with you.

-WHISTLE

-Go!

And they're off.

Oh, Will's taking a detour.

He's going round in a circle. That was not the plan.

When I tested out the wheelbarrow,

I thought it was going to, like, bump around side to side.

It's just the best option to choose.

With the wheelbarrows well and truly tested,

do they think they've found the perfect wedding-day wheels?

So, how are you feeling about this as your transport for Mum and Dad?

Pretty excited.

-You think it's a good idea?

-Yeah.

We're going with this for transport for the wedding. Decided.

Let's just hope our scarecrow bride and groom

don't mind being pushed around.

Well, we'll soon find out.

That is the transport pushed into line.

I'm wheelie excited.

Oh, don't start that again.

With the outfits and transport done,

our kids turn their attention to the entertainment.

And for this, our planners have one thing on their minds.

We're just going to make them muddy and messy, all through the wedding.

Have you got some good ideas of how we're going to entertain everybody?

What about, like, throwing, like, wellies, but, like, with mud and,

like, wet mud in and, like, stuff in them?

-Inside the wellies?

-Yeah.

-See who can throw a welly the furthest?

-Yeah.

I think that's called welly-wanging. I've heard of that.

What about we throw a boot with mud in, but it has, like, dirt and hay

and it all flies out?

So, we're going to throw boots filled with stuff, mucky stuff?

-Yeah, like beans.

-Like...

-Banana skins.

I think it would be good if and they got bags of straw and started

whacking each other, and the person who went down first was the loser.

So, whacking each other with bags of straw,

filling up welly boots full of yucky stuff and lobbing them?

We just want to get them really muddy.

Sounds like a plan.

So, we've arranged for Mr Bloom to meet Arnie and Coby at a local farm,

where he's set up the guys' idea of wedding-day entertainment.

First up, welly-wanging.

And Mr Bloom sees himself as a bit of an expert.

All right, then, lads.

So, are you ready to learn a bit about welly-wanging?

And so, for today,

I'm going to be using this European 38, a UK size five.

So, first thing to do is I'm going to roll the welly back like this...

Roll welly back, right.

..because that gives it a bit more of an aerodynamic path

as it goes down the far end of the field.

-Then you've got to make sure your limbered up...

-Limber up, yep.

..cos you don't want to pull anything. So then, I'm going to slip

my hand into the welly here, all right, I'm going to wind up...

Wind up, very important.

OK, and most important thing to do is when you let the welly go,

when you release, you need to release with the whole voice, all right?

Whole voice. Ahem.

Let out your welly-wanging cry.

-Yargh!

-That's right.

That might be yours, Coby.

I've got my own, and Arnie, no doubt you'll find your own

in due course.

Aggghhhhhh!

What was that?

Just practising my cry.

-FANFARE

-Here we go.

He's a self-confessed expert welly-wanger,

but will he deliver an impressive throw?

Haie-yah-yay!

Oh, it's good.

It's very good.

CROWD ROARS

That puts him at the top of the leaderboard. Such a strong start.

How will the boys compare?

Select your wellies.

Arnie, stepping into position.

Hey, nice one, Arnie.

That's it, make sure you warm up proper.

Don't forget your battle cry.

Does he have the technique and ability to become the next

welly-wanging champion?

Go on, then!

Hey-argh!

-Oh, it's a nice, clean throw.

-And he's down!

A strong cry and a throw so big he hit the ground.

But was it enough?

CROWD ROARS

No, it wasn't! Mr Bloom keeps top spot.

Here's Coby, yet another newcomer to the sport.

-Now, tell me are you feeling confident?

-Hurgh! Yeah!

Oh, he's taking this very seriously.

All right, go on, then. Give it some.

He's forgotten his battle cry.

Oh!

CROWD ROARS

Let's take a look at that again.

It's a disheartening wang from Coby.

BUZZER An out-of-bounds throw leaves him disqualified.

But, can he redeem himself in the next event, the greasy pole?

All right, then, lads. So, here we are. It's the greasy pole.

Now, I want a clean fight from both of you. Can you shake hands?

Come on, gentlemen's rules here.

Your weapons are going to consist of two bags of straw.

So, are you ready?

Yeah.

In three, two, one, fight!

Come on!

I actually enjoyed the, erm, the entertainment,

cos I thought it was quite funny.

Oh, one to the torso.

Two to the torso.

You really want to win, but then, if you lose, that'll still be funny.

Coby's been relentless, and Arnie's got a fit of the giggles.

When I knocked Arnie off the greasy pole, it just felt funny for Arnie

and for me, because it's, kind of, one of them funny competitive games.

And there he is, the winner, the champ.

-Well done. Well done, Arnie.

-You know what?

The boys are definitely heading for pole position

with their wedding plans.

That's the entertainment - a real hit.

Next on the agenda, the boys need to find a suitable venue.

Hopefully, it won't cost an arm and a leg.

Have you all had any thoughts about what sort of venue

might suit your theme?

Erm, yes. We were thinking about maybe, like, a farm and, like,

fields. So, like, large spaces where we can have lots of scarecrows.

Sounds spot on. Shall we see what we can find?

Time to hit the internet, and they strike it lucky straight away.

Tractors, hay bales, green fields...

Yeah, I mostly like tractors.

-So, are we thinking this looks like a good place?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Do you think we should go and check it out and investigate it?

-Yeah.

-Shall we go now?

-Yeah!

-Let's go now. Come on!

I've got a good fielding about this.

This farm certainly looks scarecrow-friendly,

and that's not the only thing that's grabbed the boys' attention.

Ooh, right. So, what do we think of in here?

-Erm, nice.

-Ooh.

Could this be a good place to get them married?

-Yeah.

-In a barn!

When I first saw the barn, I quite liked it, because it gave that,

like, scarecrow theme.

We'll need the hay, because we'll need some of it for the scarecrows.

-You wanted hay bales - you've got hay bales.

-Yeah.

-You wanted a tractor.

-Got a tractor.

-You've got a tractor.

And also, what have we got?

-The roof.

-Which is very convenient, should it rain.

I think we'll just have to hope that the birds don't twig that there are

-lots of scarecrows off their posts in here.

-Yeah.

Let's hope they are not on Twitter!

What a tweet that would be!

So, the barn was definitely outstanding in its field.

But, do Mum and Dad have a specific wedding venue in mind?

Ideal wedding, mountains is a great sort of, erm...they excite me.

So do quaint little churches. You know? Yeah, fantastic.

It might be fantastic for you, Dad,

but our wedding planners have other ideas.

The venue is a barn-storming success for the lads.

With the planning almost done,

Arnie and Colby turn their attention to the final element of the wedding,

the cake.

All right then, lads, so a very important part of a wedding

is the cake, so let's get down to brass tacks. What were you thinking?

I was thinking a field tray-bake for the cake.

Oh, right. OK. So it's going to be long and flat.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Like a field and...

And then, like, little scarecrows in the middle.

What's it going to be made of?

-Because it's not going to be grass and mud, is it?

-Chocolate.

The ground would, like, be chocolate and the grass would be, like...

Chocolate sponge and then the grass would be like...

You could have green icing for the grass.

Like, little green flakes of chocolate.

-I'm going to be honest, cakes aren't my forte.

-Yeah.

Don't know much about making them.

I can grow things, but not very good at baking. So...

I'm good at eating them but not, like, making them.

Are you? Well, that doesn't surprise me.

Calm down, Arnie, we've got to get it made first.

Time to give our local cake-maker a call to see if they can lend a hand.

-ON PHONE:

-Hello?

We're calling from Marrying Mum And Dad and we were wondering

if we could have, like, a scarecrow-themed cake.

OK, that's no problem.

-And anything else?

-Er, like, er, like, farm, like, house?

Like, hay bales and, like, chocolate for mud. Like...

-COBY:

-Like a farm barn.

-That shouldn't be a problem.

Good job.

-All right. Well, thank you very much.

-Thank you.

No problem, thank you.

Well, team, that's a good job. Well done.

We've got the catering sorted, we've got a cake,

let's see your power grabs.

That's it, the planning is done -

and what a tasty way to finish.

From welly good entertainment...

I want a clean fight from both of you.

To two-wheeled transport.

This is going to be the best wedding ever.

Yeah, I think it is as well.

Because, like, this week, this one's going to be really special.

And it's going to get really muddy.

These guys may well scare Mum and Dad with their plans.

But, as the big day draws nearer, are Mum and Dad clutching at straws?

As it's getting closer and closer and closer...

-Now it's dawning on you.

-Yeah...phew.

MOOING

The wedding day is here and as the venue gets ready, so do Mum and Dad.

I guess I feel super-excited.

Because I've no idea. There's something on my nose,

it's not quite in fitting with what's going on in my head.

I feel like I've got a tiger on my nose.

Like...or a bee.

Ah, a bee It could be a bee.

You couldn't be more wrong, Mum.

Nervously excited, yeah.

My, my stomach's just starting to...

..rumble now.

You should have had some breakfast.

Yeah, crazy. This is bizarre. This is just bizarre.

Am I a straw doll?

Do they have straw dolls?

Looks like Mum and Dad are still completely in the dark

about our wedding planners' theme.

And they aren't the only ones who've undergone a transformation.

Presenting Crowella De Ville, queen of the crows,

and her mischievous subjects, Arnie, Alfie, Coby and William.

Caw, caw! What do you think of your outfits, then, boys?

-Good!

-Are you ready to ruffle a few feathers?

-Yeah.

Ha-ha! Yeah, let's give Mum and Dad a day they will never forget.

THEY ALL CAW

Even Mr Bloom might have his work cut out

with this rowdy bunch on the loose.

But, luckily for him, we've got several scarecrows to lend a hand.

Including Mum and Dad, our very own scarecrow bride and groom.

There's a lot at stake, but it's now time for Mum and Dad

to see what they're wearing.

So, how are you feeling, Mum and Dad?

Very apprehensive.

And you ready to see what you're actually wearing?

On the count of three, you can open your eyes.

Everybody ready?

ALL: Three, two, one...

Oh, wow!

That's great!

Any guesses what the theme could possibly be?

Combine harvester.

No, the theme is scarecrows.

Yeah!

Since you're quite dozy...

-Fantastic!

-Thank you.

-Oh, wow.

It's wonderful. Absolutely.

Yeah.

Thank you.

With the theme not scaring them off,

it's time for a Mum and Dad to get to grips with their

wedding-day transport.

Caw, caw!

Scarecrow bride, scarecrow groom,

it's time to introduce you to your wedding-day wheels.

BANJO MUSIC

Now, as you can see, we haven't scrimped it here.

No, we've got the very latest in hand-propelled, load-distributing,

hi-tech agricultural hardware.

So, hop in, come on.

All right, come on. That's it.

You going to come in here, Mother?

Don't worry, Mum, at least it's not a wheelie bin.

Or a shopping trolley.

In fact, I reckon they've got off pretty lightly,

all things considered.

Up we go.

-Come on.

-Let's get you down.

Dad's having a wheel of a time!

We don't want Mum and Dad falling out now, do we,

on their wedding day?

Yeah, we don't want you ruining your lovely outfits

and getting them all muddy.

Well, not yet, anyway!

But before they can be joined in matrimony,

certain scarecrow traditions must be solemnly observed.

Hang on, what are these mischievous crows up to?

Well, they did say they had some mucky surprises up their sleeves.

It's going to get really muddy.

This should spice things up a bit.

This can only mean one thing.

Welly-wanging time.

Mum and Dad, prepare to wang your welly.

So, first to enter the arena, we have Dad.

All right, Dad, can you please select the welly you will wang?

Ooh, he's gone for a size 13, everybody.

So, crows, over to you.

Are you ready?

Are you steady?

Wang your welly!

Obvious newcomer, facing the wrong way.

Interesting approach from Dad - and not a very good one at that.

A fine technique with a messy finish.

And now, welcome our next contestant.

It's Mum!

Tough crowd for Mum.

So, Mum, please choose your welly.

-I'll go with this one.

-You can try them out.

They're all a bit smelly.

All heavy, all smelly and it's all our fault.

-Now, Mum, are you ready to wang your welly?

-Yeah.

All right, everybody.

Let's wish her all the best, and, crows, over to you.

-You ready?

-Are you steady?

Wang your welly!

CHEERS

She's gone for the classic spin, but is it good enough?

A whole ten metres.

So, we have our winner!

A boot-iful throw has secured the win for Mum, but what's her prize?

Let's head to the greasy pole to find out.

Now, what could be more romantic on your wedding day

than sitting on a pole and hitting each other with two bags of straw.

So, there you are, Mum, that's yours.

Dad, there's your weapon of choice.

As wanger extraordinaire,

it's your special prize to land the first blow on Dad.

There you are, Mum - some stylish goggles. Some for you, too, Dad.

I'm not giving too much away.

Yeah, get those goggles on, as my little crow army has one more

muddy surprise up their sleeves.

Three, two, one...!

How greasy is that pole?

They're both off and it looks like things are about

to get really messy.

Well, I'm not sure who won there, but I think it were a clean draw.

So, in true scarecrow tradition, and I think it's time we had a wedding!

So far, it's been all about getting Mum and Dad thoroughly muddied.

But there's no more mucking around.

SOFT COUNTRY MUSIC

Because now, it's time to get them married.

I, Keith, have taken you, Louise, to be my wife.

May our home be forever filled with peace, happiness and love.

Keith, I accept this ring as a symbol of our marriage...

..as a symbol of our marriage and as a token of my love.

It now gives me very great pleasure to congratulate you

on being a husband and wife. Congratulations!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Stone the crows! After 13 years,

Mum and Dad are now finally scarecrow husband and wife.

And it's all down to Arnie and his mates' hard work.

And with the formalities behind them,

it's time for everyone to enjoy a nice slice of cake.

Ladies and gentlemen, scarecrows and scarecrowesses,

may we proudly present William, Coby, Alfie and Arnie's

amazing muddy chocolate scarecrow wedding cake.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

And instead of the traditional wedding knife,

you have some garden tools to cut it with.

Would you like to cut your cake?

Right.

Who wants some cake?

It looks like this cake will be getting everyone stuffed.

And as the day draws to close,

has it been as ex-straw-dinary as Mum and Dad hoped?

The day has been absolutely unbelievable.

I never thought I'd get so emotional.

Absolutely fantastic.

Our day has been the most amazing unforgettable,

scary, exciting,

funny, competitive day.

Mum and Dad have loved it, but what about our flock of crows?

The wedding went really fun.

Really good.

Cos I really enjoyed it and I thought it was really exciting.

It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience

and you don't get to do it many times.

I think that we're all proud of other, because every one of us has

a talent or a skill and I think we're the best.

-ALL:

-Great wedding, great wedding.

-A day to remember, ah, never to forget.

-Never to forget.

Never to forget, no. Fantastic.

Well, I reckon that were a fantastic scarecrow-themed wedding.

Alfie, Arnie, Corby, and William, they really pulled a blinder.

Yeah, it was caw-caw-cawsome!

Yeah, yeah. The only thing is, I swear I saved a piece of cake

to have with my cup of tea and now it's...

Hey! Hello, that were mine!

-MUFFLED:

-I don't know what you're talking about.

Well, I think I do. Come on, off with you, you mingy bird.

Off you go. I'll put you in a pie if I catch you!

Come on. Get back to your nest before I do!