Born to Be Wild My Almost Famous Family

# Born to be wild

# Born to be wild

# Born to be wild... #

-Can't...move...my neck.

-Sorry, I always layer when I'm nervous.

You know, we have been to the movies on our own before.

Yes, but not to the late show.

-Can we go?

-Wait! Take some money.

Just for emergencies.

And call when you get there.

And then at twenty minute intervals.

Don't be silly. Every half hour's fine.

Are you that guy off the telly?

Yes... but I sign my autographs "Hadley". It's shorter.

We don't want your autograph.

-We want your wallet.

-Excuse me?!

Hey, get off me.

-Get off him!

-Help! Help!

OK, I'm about to put the smack down on somebody in here so beat it!

Don't make me remove my earrings!

That's right ladies, you made the right decision.

You don't wanna make me angry!

-Did they take anything?

-You OK, bro?

-No, I'm fine.

-Did they hurt you?

-You heard him, he's fine.

He's the bad boy of rock, aren't you, H?

See.

Has anyone seen Hadley this morning?

He was pretty shaken up last night.

Good morning, everyone!

Mmm, these pain au chocolat

are so good!

Sometimes there's too much pain and not enough au chocolat. But these...

major yummers.

So, how are you feeling, bro?

How do you think I'm feeling?

Fantastic!

OK, was that weird enough for everyone?

I know... What was he wearing?

It can't be healthy, bottling it up like that.

Yeah, someone should talk to him... Isaac.

Tell me about it. I'll get Martha.

-You wanna talk?

-No.

OK, yeah.

What if you knew someone and something really scary

was going on with him...or someone.

And now he...

or she...

won't talk about it and now he...

or someone...

is acting really nutso?

Man, this thing is really powerful.

This someone... are you like a brother to them?

Yes. Or... like a sister.

I saw you, Toyah.

-Sorry, just dropped my pen.

-You were trying to ignore me, weren't you?

-Yeah.

-Check out the Pop Snitch website.

-Ever heard of "please"?

-Ever heard of unemployment?

Who reads this stuff?

-Ooh... Pop Snitch!

-Of course she does.

As you'll see I'm one of the two finalists

for the Teen Style-Queen Award.

They're announcing the winner live on my show

so I want you band types to perform a winning anthem.

SHE SCREAMS

I'm in the final for Teen Style-Queen!

-You don't actually think you're going to beat me, do you?

-Duh!

Aww... you're so cute when you're delusional. Laters!

Is everything all right, honey.

Yes, Mom. It's no biggie, I mean, I just need your advice.

About bottling stuff up. It's not healthy, right?

Dr Abigail has one whole chapter on bottling up

instead of emotional recycling. Here. This'll help.

Turn to chapter Nine. I've dreamt about this day,

handing Dr A from Mother to...

well, I did think it would be Aretha, but hey!

Woo-woo!

Seems to me this person is riding the feelings express.

Hop aboard... I'll show you.

Only if I get to blow the whistle. Woo-woo!

First stop is denial.

Next stop Sadness - We won't be stopping there yet.

-Then comes anger, then...

-Whoa, Miss Japanese bullet train!

Konichiwa?!

How do I get them out of denial?

You have to convince them to face up to what happened.

You're telling me people actually win awards for wearing clothes?

I get dressed every day, maybe I should go for a Grammy.

Welcome to the Pointless Awards

For celebrities desperate to be adored

These awards really are something

Given for achieving absolutely nothing

# First award to Beyonce

# For brushing her teeth twice a day

# Britney wins this special cup

# For simply knowing which way is up

# Posh and Becks don't go without

# Recognition for breathing in and out

# This one makes me really proud

# A glittering gong for Girls Aloud

# Put this on your shelf at home

# Cos you can use the toilet on your own

# Could we be any more shallow?

# Or have a worldview any more narrow?

# All around the world's in a mess

# But have an award for being well dressed. #

Don't you get it? The winner becomes a style icon for her generation.

And that's just for no name wannabees.

Imagine if the winner was someone with actual talent...

..like me.

Hey honey.

People send us free stuff all the time.

Don't get excited, honey, we're giving it all to charity.

I'm sorry baby, you know the rules.

You have to work for what you want.

You don't get anything for free.

Don't take me on because you know you will not win.

And no touching these skates.

Don't think I won't know.

Imagine how much cooler they'll be when you buy your own pair!

Maybe the others would pay you to do some chores.

Yeah.

Hey... I thought you said we were going to the Museum

of Rock Guitar and Rock Ukulele.

Gotta come clean with you... such a museum doesn't exist.

I knew it sounded too good to be true.

Dude, you gotta get back on the horse and face the music.

We're going in.

-This is stupid. I'm not going in.

-Fine.

Stay in denial.

-I'm not in denial.

-That's exactly what someone in denial would say.

Look, there's this train...

Woo-woo.

I'm just trying to help.

All right, what does this jacket say?

Bad boy of... Rick?

Rock. It's rock, there's a couple of studs missing.

I'm not crying into my coco pops

about what happened last night, cos I'm "not bovvered".

Right! I'll show you I'm not in denial.

See? It's just the movies.

-Hadley!

-Just take it. Take it!

# Don't feel like a rock star

# It's come as a shock

# Turns out I'm not bad

# Turns out I don't rock

# If I was bad I'd be out every night

# But my Dad tucks me in and turns out my light

# If I could rock I'd be up for a fight

# But I say please and thank you and I'm very polite

# The bad boy of rock

# Is no more

# If he ever really existed at all

# The bad boy is broken

# And can't be mended

# I'm gonna 'jack-et' in... no pun intended

# I'm not bad

# The stench of cowardice lingers

# I don't rock

# These studs are really hurting my fingers. #

Ow!

OK, now take all of these bags to the charity van outside.

Hey, you want my money, you have to earn it.

Hadley! Hadley!

Hadley!

Extreme cleaning?

-Why didn't you call me?

-The old me is on its way to the charity shop.

The tired, old me.

And no-one wants a tired old Teen Style-Queen.

Agree your price before you start the job, what can I say?

Oh, Mom, can I get my hands on my closet budget.

You don't have a closet budget.

What you have is a twenty pound allowance.

OK!

Twenty pounds isn't gonna buy me anything, so...

can I get hold of my next three years allowance?

I have nothing to wear.

Why don't you do what I do with old clothes - re-accessorise.

And that's why you're not nominated.

-What?! No! My clothes!

-Freeze!

Right now, your priority is the rehearsal.

You can go to the charity shop and buy them all back afterwards.

With twenty pounds?

Hadley...

H man, I've been calling you.

You can't trash this.

You love this jacket.

With Rehearsal in five, guys!

Tell Dad I'm not coming.

Rocking out is what you do.

You can't let what happened get to you. You're the bad boy of rock.

No I'm not. I'm just a boy.

Well, you'll need a smaller jacket if that's your new name.

# Born to be wild

# Born... Born to be wild

You're drowning his vocals, Isaac!

Look, can we take five?

-Or better still, thirty?

-We don't need a break.

Isaac, you just need to take the tempo down a little.

No, the tempo's right. I'm the one that's wrong.

Oh, Hadley come on.

Hadley, my clothes are getting charity shop smell all over them,

so can you man up and stop letting what happened get to you!

-What d'you mean, "what happened"?

-Nothing!

-Is this the thing you said Hadley was in denial about?

-You told mum?!

Not about the mugging. PARENTS: The what?!

Isaac! You said this was no biggie.

-This is a biggie. Are you all right, baby?

-Yes, I'm fine.

-Will everyone just stop asking.

-Why didn't you say something?

We thought you might go, y'know, a bit parental.

-I'm calling the police.

-No!

-And we were right.

-Anyway, I showed those girls what time it was.

-Girls? Mugged you?

Well, yes, girls can be just as big and intimidating as boys.

Sometimes more, even. So I don't want you feeling ashamed, Hadley.

OK, what part of that was supposed to not make me feel ashamed?

You know what? I can't do this.

I'm out of here.

Yes, OK, take a break for a while.

No, I mean this.

I'm quitting the band.

Trust me sweetie, these clothes are fabulous.

Were fabulous. This one... Rhianna, MTV awards.

This one... Victoria Beckham. Paris Fashion Week.

She's old enough to be my mother.

Well, maybe not that old.

But how am I expected to win the Teen Style Queen Award

looking like celebrity land fill?

-What if we went shopping?

-I don't want what everyone else is wearing.

I want edgy one-offs from up and coming designers.

Darling, no designer will work with you after you bit Sebastian.

I can't lose against Aretha of all people, mother.

Or maybe I should have to lose the producer.

Maybe the producer can't wait to be put out of her misery.

All right, I'll see what I can do.

Thanks. You're the best mummy slash producer

slash Personal Manager in the whole wide world.

I don't care how many stitches you needed Sebastian...Hello?

OK then... if you're out, I'm out.

Don't be stupid.

No, no. I don't want to be in this thing without you.

You know what you need?

-A Man Break.

-Yeah. What?

Sometimes us guys, we just need to take off,

cut out all the background noise and get in touch with our inner dude.

I have reputation. People assume I buy new.

Some of the best clothes are in charity shops.

See this entire outfit? Seven pounds.

-I spend that on gum.

-Hey!

We've got more of those 1940s blouses coming in next week.

-Nooo.

-Hello! Can we fast-forward back to the future and me?

Some of my sister's clothes were brought in here

earlier by accident and she needs them back.

About six black bin liners?

Lot's of bling and man made fibres.

Oh, yes. Sorry, you can't have them back.

Oh, we've got money.

That's really kind of you,

but I don't have your clothes.

-They've been sold.

-What? My babies.

Yes, to some really rude woman obsessing about them.

How are you going to run for Teen-Style Queen with no clothes?

Oh, no!

Technically I didn't buy anything, so...

What about my money?

Where am I gonna get hold of some hot clothes now?! Mom, d'you mind?

I'm trying to figure this out.

I still have a trunk of fabulous clothes

from my old Random Emotion days.

I looked pretty good back then.

Can we relive your past another time, I'm in crisis here.

Actually, fashion does have a cyclical nature.

Trends have a tendency to peak at twenty year intervals.

Yeah. You know, if you cover the head...

and the arms...and the legs,

that could be Beyonce!

This is great, isn't it.

Just you and me.

Guys, might need a hand here.

And Dad. I thought you said it was just going to be us two.

Don't be too hard on him. He's just trying to help.

Yeah, well the more he tries the worse I feel.

I don't need a babysitter.

So what do we do for food in the woods, anyway?

We could contact our inner Neanderthaland bring down a rabbit?

I'll see if Dominos deliver.

-No Signal.

-OK, who's got matches?

We don't have matches. We have a lighting flint.

We're gonna make a fire the way people have made fire for millennia.

These people? Did they go cold and hungry?

Maybe I've got the instruction manual?

-Hey, way to go, H!

-It's all in the wrist.

It's like... playing guitar.

All hail the fire-bringer.

Yeah, we would have frozen for sure.

All right guys, you're obviously trying to big me up.

I didn't say to stop.

Anyway, I've got to go and pee.

Where am I supposed to go round here?

Look around H, you don't need a hall pass.

What? In there? But... there are insects there!

Flying insects!

I'll just cross my legs.

Aaah, gotta pee!

And no touching these skates.

BUZZING

I hope he's OK in there.

He breaks out in hives just going in the garden.

He'll be fine.

You're a good brother, Isaac...

..bringing him out here to big him up.

Well, he needed it - must be pretty embarrassing,

the bad boy of rock being beaten up by girls...

-but we can't let him know that.

-Too late.

How rude of Aretha to keep Pop Snitch waiting like this.

Sorry I'm late...

Hey, Aretha. I like your style... fashionably late.

No! She's just late.

-You're thinking I'll unveil my outfit on the day, am I right?

-Uh...

No, she wasn't! Were you?

Can you believe it! She was wearing my cast-offs

which shouldn't have even been cast off in the first place!

So that rude woman who bought all your clothes must have been Jill.

My clothes. I knew it!

Er... Step away from the couture.

Do you know where these came from?

An up and coming designer mummy found.

Uh... Yes, that's right. Very exclusive.

Otherwise known as the local charity shop.

These are all Aretha's old clothes.

Hardly, darling. If these clothes could talk they'd say, "Help!

"Please don't let me be worn by Aretha." Isn't that right, Mummy?

Oh, yeah? Well, check in the pocket of that jacket

-and you'll find my earring.

-No!

-Euw!

-Oops. The other pocket. Ha! Now hand my clothes back.

Sorry. I'm keeping them. After I have them steam cleaned of course.

So you're happy to win a style contest

wearing your opponent's clothes? Have you no integrity?

People don't care about how you win.

You should know, you won fame in a raffle.

Oh, good one, darling. Oh, no. Sorry... Still angry.

There's no way I'm letting her get away with this.

Martha!

Hey, here come my boys.

It must be broken.

That was a disaster, and it's getting worse by the minute.

What does Dr Abigail say on the subject?

Oh, plenty. She just... hasn't written the book yet.

Look, I think we need to sit down and talk about this.

I'd like to start this Family Meeting

by forming a circle to represent the bond of familial love

that can never be broken.

Aretha, that means you too.

And while we're at it. Martha,

what did I tell you about the charity gifts?

There will be punishment!

Now where was I? Oh, yes - familial love.

Aretha.

Hadley?

OK.

H... I'm sorry, OK.

It's all right, it wasn't your fault, Isaac.

Thanks, man.

It was yours!

You keep us in this bubble, fuss over us,

and when you do let us out every 15 years we can't cope.

Ok... we need to talk about this.

Talk? Talk doesn't stop you being beaten up by girls!

Family time is a joke!

-Oh, no he didn't.

-He most certainly did.

H! You got attacked and that was bad.

But do not take it out on people who don't want to hurt you.

Hey! He hadn't finished.

-Well, he has now.

-Haven't you out-grown swings?

I actually I saw a five-year-old girl on the slide over there.

Why don't you go and rough her up a bit? Feel like a real man?

Thanks!

No problem.

And now if you don't mind, I think I'm going to faint.

Oh...maybe not.

Oh, Aretha, you are so predictable.

Beyonce.

Sorry to steal your look again, sweetie,

but all's fair in love and wardrobe.

-Relax.

-Yes?

-Sorry, that's all I've got.

-Toyah!

I'm about to get whooped by my own clothes, and be totally humiliated.

And that spot still hasn't gone.

Sorry, I thought we were doing a list.

No!

Thought about it for two seconds and decided I don't do cast-offs.

You can have them.

Amazing what you can do with Shalondra's old photo album

and advanced photo manipulation software.

Hello.

Hope you are enjoying Annabelle's dressing room.

It has a lot of style...for a teen.

OK, look. Give Annabelle this Teen Style-Queen award

and you can be our next Fashion reporter.

Oh, er, hi, Aretha. Just wishing everyone luck.

Fashion editor - final offer.

I guess soon we'll know who the winner is.

Hey.

Nice. Vintage, Aretha?

I thought why change my look when this is what got me nominated.

But just wait until you see my little Teen Style...

Dan-ahhh!

Oh, Annabelle! You look...

What?

Sorry, I'm just remembered a joke.

Oh... You're a style queen all right.

What? It's the height of fashion!

Beyonce wore it.

I'm only gonna say this once so listen carefully...

Ouch.

# Born to be wild

# Born to be wild

# Get your motor running

# Head out on the highway

# Looking for adventure

# And whatever comes our way

# Yeah, darling go make it happen

# Take the world in a love embrace

# Fire all your guns at once

# And explode into space

# Like a true nature's child

# We were born to be wild

# We can climb so high I never die...

# Born to be wild! #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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