Christmas Time My Almost Famous Family

Broadcasting live from the Swanns' residence.

Tune in after the news for a Totally Annabelle Christmas Eve Special,

coming to you from the Swann family living room!

# Ding dong merrily on high Tune-in to Totally Annabelle. #

And tonight's We're In Perfect Harmony's performance

is directed by Martha! Go Martha!

I can't wait!

And joining us tonight will be a choir of elves, the singing wise men,

and, having only just untied themselves after last year's show,

the jingle bell contortionists!

See you in 25.

And we're clear!

Get that thing out of my sight!

Tonight's show is being broadcast to over six million people.

Let's not spoil it

with your pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree!

Don't worry, we'll get it back tomorrow.

Can you mind those decorations!

You've got to keep focused on what today's show is all about

which is spreading a little Swann Family Christmas spirit.

Start adapting, Martha.

The only reason you're "directing" tonight's performance

is for the sweet and cute factor.

She's got 24 minutes to do sweet and cute, or you pay the price.

I love a good Christmas show!

We're live in 24 minutes. Get me a coffee with lots of sugar!

# Almost famous and it's killing me

# I'm one step off From where I gotta be

# I want a million voices Singing back at me

# La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

# La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

# La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

# Woo! #

OK, 23 minutes to show-time, let's huddle.

Toyah, remember to smile.

It's Christmas eve!

Isaac, you practised your snare stamp in four eight time? Good.

Six million viewers, people.

We can't afford any mistakes. Let's hold hands.

Isaac, hand it over.

ALL: The Christmas cookies!

I made these for Christmas morning!

Sorry. Plus I think some of the elves were sneaking some.

Of course Santa will, honey. He will, won't he?

Another warm and fuzzy for the Swann Family.

Excuse me while I barf my breakfast.

I bet they won't be having cold turkey sandwiches in a trailer.

It's only until the builders finish remodelling the apartment,

and when it's finished you'll have your own en-suite and dressing room.

Listen here, mother.

I'm going to wake up tomorrow and have a proper Christmas.

With presents, and a tree, and carols and more presents.

I don't care how you do it, just do it!

Doing it... doing it.

OK, move along.

I need to prep my hands in 02 minutes and thirty seconds.

Are you sure you can cope?

This routine is quite different to the usual one.

Oh, it's fine. The great thing about my pre-show routine

is it's totally transportable.

-Jill, I was going to ask you about my solo.

-22 minutes, people!

One, two, three.

# We're In Per...#

21 minutes, 54 seconds!

When I say don't cut away from Annabelle when she's speaking

I do actually mean it.

Hey! Those mince pies were meant to be for Father Christmas!

I'm going to ask Annabelle how she's planning to introduce my solo.

Where's my mug?

Who's taken my red coffee mug?!

That's it little donkey, you're fired! I don't care!

Mary can walk to Bethlehem!

Well, maybe she needs some time alone.

Anthony, thanks for calling back.

It's just, ever since you two appeared on the show,

Annabelle's been desperate for us to hang out, say, Christmas lunch?

There's no need for that kind of language.

What about Dec? Is he... Hello? Hello?

-I'll take those.

-Move away from the gifts.

Every year you turn the house upside down looking for your present.

-I do not.

-Then why else did you "clean out" the garage yesterday?

OK, so I don't like surprises!

-Sometimes it's nice to know what you're getting.

-Not this time.

I've found the perfect hiding place.

You will never find your present!

Time to prep my cello!

# I'm weak, I know it

# Gotta love that cookie jar!

# I know, I promised No more cookies blah, blah, blah

# Hey little cookies I got some news

# Let me make you an offer you can't refuse

# How about a journey way down south To the Land of Stomach via my mouth

# Just one, little cookie Can that really be so bad

# OK, two, two cookies, what Mom don't know can't make her mad

OK, three!

# Three cookies And then I'm gonna stop

# OK, four.

# Four cookies, that really is the lot

# OK, five

# Five cookies I don't want to push my luck

-# OK, six, six cookies and now my hand is...#

-Stuck!

Cello strings, rosin,

cleaning cloth, extra cleaning cloth, Zorg my lucky little mascot,

nail clippers,

-baby powder...

-You brought all that from your studio dressing room?

Statistically, those who survive disasters are those with a plan.

No, the only disaster are these Grandma knickers.

-What are you doing?

-Cello needs to prep.

-Er... We'll freeze!

-Wear this.

Like that's ever gonna happen.

-Cellos sound better when the wood is cold.

-What about my voice?

I'll catch a cold.

Sorry, my hands are tied. She might crack if her wood gets too hot.

I know someone who's already cracked!

What's going on?

There is a mouse in my dressing room, so now this is my dressing room.

Anyone for a cookie?

Why is it so cold in here?

No! He can't do that.

My cello can't be more than four degrees!

It's irrelevant. You and your cello aren't staying.

But...my room, my cello, my music, my mascot!

That's my cello!

-This is a sickness.

-I was just, erm...checking the cereal.

-Expiry dates.

-Expiry dates?

It's all I could think of!

OK, you win, I was looking for presents!

-Now I realise I just need to wait until tomorrow morning.

-Promise?

Oh, look. You're standing under mistletoe...

Wait a second! You're frisking me!

-Oh, what have you got me? Where've you hidden it!

-OK, I give in.

If it means you'll stop searching.

Close your eyes.

The production call sheet?

That's right, baby! On in 20 minutes!

# Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, Frank Sinatra! #

Oh, come on, your hand can't be that stuck.

It is! Must be the cookies. They've gained weight.

My hands are fat.

Call sheet for you. And these are for you.

Ladies' earrings? Thanks, Dad.

They're not for you. They're for Shalondra.

Well, I've already got her a present.

These are my present for Shalondra. I can't risk her frisking me again.

What is it with your mum and Christmas presents?

She's overcompensating for a lack of fulfilment in early childhood.

You're the last person she'll think I'd entrust them to

because you're bad at keeping secrets.

Remember - not a word!

Have you seen this?

Where's my solo?

Annabelle's bumped me.

-I've been bumped for small, green people with pointy shoes!

-Ouch.

Now can you help me with this?

First I'm getting my solo back in the show,

then I'll help you with your jar.

Wait! Aren't you forgetting something?

I'm going to give Annabelle a piece of my...

Haddykins! Give me what?

You shouldn't have!

Earrings! Oh, my sweet, how did you know?

Know? No, I didn't know. You see, they're actually for...

Wow! How guilty do I feel? I just bumped your solo for the elves.

But I'm thinking if you're giving me earrings you're totally back in the show!

-Am I?

-Duh, yeah... The elves are history, my little sweet candy pops!

OK, those six year-old orphans are going to cry their little hearts out

but these are solid gold! They are gold?

Would I give you anything less?

Look at the time, I've got to finish getting ready! So I'll see you on-stage for your solo.

Thanks again, my dear, sweet Haddykins.

Yes! I'm back in, baby, back in!

I still don't see why we need to use Isaac's room.

"Make yourselves at home."

"And help yourself to pizza."

Eurgh!

Eurgh!

Don't worry, I have wipes.

Where are my wipes?

Oh, no! Emergency! Something Toyah hasn't prepared for!

It's a code red!

You're right. I'm being silly.

I can do this. This is fine.

Because I always plan for the unexpected.

Plan B. "In the case of a change of location".

And we've only lost five minutes in the move.

I won't ask.

OK, tell me!

I like to listen to them in my dressing room before a performance.

Listening to a beat in my head helps me relax before a show.

This is Hadley. A very decisive beat with an accent on the fourth swing.

Mum. She's more a frenetic sound.

Dad. Slow but steady.

And the blue one's me.

I like to think it sounds like raindrops.

And Isaac.

His has seen better days.

Hey! That's my earring! I've been looking for that.

And the button from my coat!

No, I need these! I need them all.

One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four.

Cuckoo!

-What was I supposed to do?

-I dunno!

Say, not that?!

What was I thinking? OK, I have to get the earrings back from Annabelle

without upsetting her and getting bumped again.

Good luck with that.

One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

We need to get in our costume!

Er, beards? Nobody mentioned beards!

I promise it's going to be great.

Just be thankful you can't hear them.

SNEEZING

Mum? Come out now.

Just spring cleaning under Isaac's bed.

You find the strangest things under there.

Yeah, but not your Christmas presents.

I tried to be mature, no need to tear the whole house apart.

But then it hit me...

it's Christmas day tomorrow

and I don't know what I'm getting!

And I gotta know. I really gotta know!

Are you sure you two aren't from the same gene pool?

If only there was a way of putting my mind at rest.

No, I'm not doing it.

Oh, you have a gift, baby. You should be nurturing that gift, not hiding it under a...

a Christmas tree!

Fine!

Posh. Annabelle sends Christmas mwahs to you and David.

And of course little Brooklyn, and Rodeo... Meo! Hello?

Hello?

I thought we put you out to pasture?

No grazing!

-And what are you doing here?

-Jill, this is our home.

No, not today, this is my studio.

-Don't touch the props.

-This is our Christmas card to you and Annabelle.

Sorry to hear you're spending Christmas in your trailer.

That's none of your business. I don't see what the big deal is.

Well, it's just that Christmas is all about family and togetherness.

Annabelle and I don't need some traditional nonsense to say I love...

..you.

12 minutes and counting!

Gary removed all the labels.

It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. You are my only hope.

Shake it!

# On the first day of Christmas My true love sent to me

# A cuddly chimpanzee

# On the next day of Christmas My true love sent to me

# Four books for nerds

# Three felt pens, two purple gloves, and a cuddly chimpanzee

# On the next day of Christmas... #

You get the idea, Mum, there is nothing here for you from Gary. I'll see you for the five minute call.

One, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five, six.

Don't know.

Am I the only one who can't stand the ticking?

I can't glue second-hand hair to my face! I'm sorry, I just...

I don't do face glue!

Wait a minute, is this something you didn't plan for?

Just deal with it!

No! No, no, no! Get off me! Not face glue!!

I don't see what the big deal is.

I can't!

Why can't you just get into the Christmas spirit for once?!

I just can't help it!

Maybe if I'd had some time to prepare.

Or if someone had warned me about the face glue.

I mean, It's not even in my schedule!

Hey!

Stop using your OCD as an excuse!

Now you can act like a normal person.

A normal person who glues beards to their face

and gets in the Christmas spirit!

Right. I'll go down to makeup and stall her.

Meanwhile, you sneak into her dressing room.

You've got eight minutes to fake a burglary, and steal back the earrings while she's away.

-But what about my...?

-Good luck!

# I'm weak, I know it Gotta love that cookie jar... #

Oh, I don't have time for this!

Disinfect your shoes!

Did you know shoes are like little conduits for micro-germs?

As crazy as your metronome routine was, I think I preferred it.

This is what happens when you throw my routine out the window!

Would you quit cleaning and get into costume?

I'm afraid it is no longer possible for me to perform. I'm not going on.

Oh, please, you're a "gifted musician".

You're not gonna let a little glitch in your routine stop you performing.

You don't understand!

Look, this may seem crazy to you but my metronomes worked.

They help me keep control.

Maybe I should've thought before smashing your metronomes into tiny little pieces.

Thinking ahead is not really my strong suit. Not like you.

Sorry.

Oh, you have a gift, baby. You should be nurturing that gift, not hiding it under a...Christmas tree!

I'll be right back!

Does this hideous family photograph say stylish and sophisticated to you?

Does it?! We're live on air in six minutes, get rid of it!

'I'm going to wake up tomorrow and have a proper Christmas!'

Aren't you're supposed to wait until tomorrow?

Help me open that.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Better?

Ready to be a wise man?

But what about the face glue?

-Oh! Hello, my little winegum.

-The earrings!

You're wearing them?

Poppy needs to see them to match my makeup. And we're done.

No! No, no, no. You can't be done.

-You only just sat down.

-Oh, silly!

It's just a touch-up to match my earrings.

You don't think I'd leave my makeup to the last minute do you?

That's so funny.

OK, five minutes everyone!

Make way for Annabelle going back to her room!

< Annabelle's going to her room and that's five minutes!

< Make way for Annabelle going back to her room!

Annabelle going back to her room!

OK, thanks, Hadley, really not necessary.

What happened?

-Yeah. Whoa! What happened?

-I've been burgled!

I was barely gone two minutes.

(I'll open the door, you whack him!)

All right, I admit it! I ate your cookies! I...

-Where's Annabelle?

-Annabelle?

Annabelle! You've knocked her out, you maniac!

Whoa! What do we do now?!

Right! You get Mum's earrings, I'll keep watch!

What can I say? I love cookies.

Right, fine! I'll get Mum's earrings, you keep watch.

Haddykins?

What... What are you doing?

OK. It's not what it looks like.

It looks like you're robbing from an unconscious fairy.

OK, then it is exactly what it looks like.

You do really deserve an explanation...

-60 seconds then we're live on air!

-..But it'll have to wait.

-What?!

-I'm sorry, but I have to do my solo.

I'll open the show for you!

Wait!

Where is she?

Three wise women!

First positions please!

-Gimme the microphone!

-What about my solo?

-You sing one bar of that song and your little sister can wave her little panto goodbye.

-You wouldn't.

Try me.

Come on, come on. Get moving. Going in five,

four, three...

Welcome to the Annabelle Christmas special!

Tonight, We're In Perfect Harmony are opening the show

with a very special performance arranged by cute little Martha!

This is the story of what happened

when Rudolph crash landed in Bethlehem.

# Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose

# And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows

# All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names

# They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games

# Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say

# "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

# Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee

# Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer You'll go down in history! #

Wow!

How festive was that?

See you after the break!

Here. Take them. I want nothing more to do with them.

Did Shalondra find out about them?

Did Shalondra find out about what?

Oh, my present, how wonderful!

Just one little peek?

Earrings, how lovely!

Oh, thank you, sweetie.

Shame you spoiled the surprise.

Well, that went well. We should do the same on New Years Eve.

You don't have any plans, do you?

Well, Mummy,

you sorted out the Christmas show, what about the real thing?

Annabelle. Sweetie.

I've been thinking... Christmas is about family and together...ness.

We're a family, and we'll be together.

-What?

-Don't blame me, blame him!

Annabelle!

I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry about the earrings.

And the concussion.

I understand. You're in love with a big star, you wanted to shower her with fabulous gifts.

-So you stole from your parents.

-Well, you could put it like that...

-Shh!

I'm sorry I didn't let you sing your solo.

I may have been an ickle bit angry.

Listen, you mentioned you and your mum were spending Christmas in your trailer this year,

and I just wondered if you'd like to spend it with us instead?

SHE SQUEALS

If you insist. I mean, we could probably squeeze it in.

# Oh, the weather outside is frightful

# But the fire is so delightful... #

Happy?

So, this is a real family Christmas?

And how long do we do this for?

Look! Not only are they decorations, but they're chocolate too!

Except this one.

So, Shalondra, are you ready for your real Christmas present?

You already gave me my earrings.

No. That was just a decoy to throw you off the scent.

No kidding!

Happy Christmas, honey.

Oh, Gary, that's beautiful.

Two purple gloves!

-Three felt pens?

-Four books.

-Nerd.

-Come on guys, this isn't funny.

A little help here, please?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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