Like a Dog with a Melon Now You See It


Like a Dog with a Melon

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Magic is everywhere.

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So steady yourself...

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..grab a bite to eat...

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..and remain calm at all times.

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Did I win?

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Because these magicians are on fire.

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Well, not literally, we hope.

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Welcome to Now You See It.

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Right, first up, it's...

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(Oh, sorry, sorry, we're going into a library.)

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(Has everyone turned their phone off?)

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PHONE RINGS

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(Oh, there's always one, isn't there?)

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-Hello? Hello? Hello?

-PHONE KEEPS RINGING

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RINGING CONTINUES

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Hello?

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Hello?

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-Hello?

-RINGING CONTINUES

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Hello?

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-RINGING CONTINUES

-Hello? Oh...

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To be honest, it's only going to be somebody trying to sell you

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personal injury insurance.

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RINGING CONTINUES

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Or it could be his phone company saying

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he hasn't paid any of his 40 different bills!

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-RINGING CONTINUES

-Hello?

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-RINGING CONTINUES

-Hello?

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PHONE KEEPS RINGING

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-Hello?

-HE SIGHS

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RINGING STOPS

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And that, kids, is a landline.

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I dread to think where he's got it plugged in!

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Oh, I think it's for you.

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Brilliant! He's actually answering it.

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Hello?

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-Pillow fight!

-Duck down!

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-Whoa!

-Or is it goose?

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Did I win?

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Ah, football, the beautiful game.

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To succeed in this sport,

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you need professionalism, dedication, talent,

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and, of course, terrible dreadlocks.

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Run, Cyrildinho! The transfer window's closing!

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Even Cristiano Ronaldo would think, "That's a bit showy-offy!"

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I'm not sure what's going to happen at the end of this,

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but what I do know is that, meanwhile,

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Germany are beating England on penalties.

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Back in the changing room.

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You know that saying, "Magic is all smoke and mirrors"?

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Well, here, there's no smoke, and there isn't actually a mirror.

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That's in fact her identical twin behind a pane of glass.

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Let the confusion begin!

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"Hey, where's my reflection gone?"

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What a way to find out you're a vampire.

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I do like the way people look around to see if perhaps their

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reflection has slipped off to one side!

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This trick can be done with non-identical twins,

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but it doesn't work quite as well.

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And if you don't have a twin, you can of course use a mirror.

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Remember the old saying,

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"When one door opens, another one closes and squashes you"?

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Ooh, it's a sunny day, so it's time to wear...

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This guy's future is so bright, he's got to wear shades.

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But which ones?

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Whoo!

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Whoo!

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Whoo!

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Time for a nap.

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Now an incredible trick that uses only a manky old blanket...

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an oversized cardigan...

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a nod of the head...

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and...

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Oh, that was quite good.

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Wonder where he's vanished to - New York? The Maldives? Rome?

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Ah, there he is, outside on the patio.

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Ooh, get us a loaf from the freezer while you're out there, will you?

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Not all tricks go according to plan,

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as we find out in our regular feature...

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Is that Cyrildinho getting into the metal box?!

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Now the Penguin from the Batman franchise

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climbs on top of the box, and...

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Don't worry, only his ego was bruised.

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Well, that and his bum.

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Now, we love a bit of Animal Magic, don't we?

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You know the old phrase, "He's like a dog with a melon"?

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No, that's because no-one's ever said it till now.

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But here's man and Pomeranian in perfect harmony.

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To be fair, Victoria Beckham's the same

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whenever David picks up a sausage.

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Meanwhile, this man's going to make a balloon animal.

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Oh, by scribbling a rubbish face on it, by the looks of things.

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No, I'm sorry, that is simply not good enough!

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And to make matters worse, that balloon is now going to spend

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the rest of its life in captivity.

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Now, that's a good trick, and let me assure all viewers that

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no balloons were harmed in the making of this film.

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Yep, these two are still at it.

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NARRATOR CHUCKLES

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You're on an eight-hour flight,

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and the passenger sitting next to you wants to show you a card trick.

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What option do you have but to...jump?!

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Unfortunately, that isn't going to stop him.

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He's saying, "Pick a card, any card, just pick a card,

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"we're limited for time here, mate!"

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Ace of diamonds, yeah, seen that.

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It's the rabbit squashed under his helmet I feel sorry for.

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And guess what? Inside his mouth, just past the complimentary peanuts,

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a saliva-covered corner of the ace of diamonds!

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I hope he remembered his parachute.

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There's no flies on this frog - well, he's eaten them all.

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But you know the problem with frogs?

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Very long tongue, but very short-sighted.

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Brilliant, it's time for...

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And this week, all the way from the set of Game Of Thrones,

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it's husband-and-wife act Hans and Helga Moretti.

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She seems to have a small animal draped across her shoulders,

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while he's got one nestling underneath his nose.

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Just how many assistants does Hans need?!

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Ooh, there's another one.

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Before being suspended from a burning rope,

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Hans is chained and padlocked.

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To be fair, if you're going to sport a moustache like that,

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you do risk being locked up.

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Now, remember, Hans and Helga are magicians, so, please,

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only use chains and padlocks for your bike,

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unless you're a professional escapologist.

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Houdini used to do this - he'd hide a lock-pick

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in his thick head of hair...

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Ah, I see a problem.

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Ah, the assistants are back to carefully shove Hans down

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onto the crash mat.

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Cue yet another glamorous assistant - Fireman Sam!

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Seems a harsh thing for Helga to do to her husband.

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All he did was forget to Sky Plus Strictly!

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I'm no expert, but as a fireman, isn't his job to put out fires?!

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It's never this tense on Friday Wind-Up.

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Phew, thank goodness that array of sharp and deadly-looking knives

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has been magically transformed into a soft, bouncy crash mat.

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Hooray! He's done it! Or has he just fallen off the rope?

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It's quite hard to tell with this trick, isn't it?

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Ah-ha, yes! You did it, Hans! We salute you.

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Right, I'm off to work on my moustache now,

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but join me next time for another magical kickabout

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where things might not always go to plan...

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..but we're happy to hear your feedback.

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Well, some of the time.

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Are either of these two ever going to eat that melon?

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