Final Special Gunging Officially Amazing


Final Special Gunging

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# Officially, Officially Officially Amazing! #

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Welcome to the final Officially Amazing - The Best Of The Bunker.

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First up, it's time to discover who'll

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be our Series 6 champion in...

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Previously on Officially Competitive...

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After 14 brave battles,

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ten disqualifications

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and five obliterated world records,

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Cherry and Steve are tied at the top of the leaderboard,

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and the entire competition will be decided

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today as they battle for this understated thing of beauty.

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ANGELIC CHOIR SINGS

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-Truly stunning.

-A win for Cherry means a fifth consecutive title.

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A win for Steve means a first-ever championship victory.

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And a win for Ray...

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..is impossible, surely, as they're tackling the record for...

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Here are the rules.

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Ten marshmallows must be constructed into a pyramid thusly.

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The marshmallows must be moved a distance of 15cm from starting

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point to stacking point.

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And only the chopsticks can touch the marshmallows.

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If they build a marshmallow pyramid

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in 35 seconds or under, it's a world record.

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Up first is my tiny Terrahawk, US Ray.

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A win for Ray today and the overall competition ends in a tie.

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But he is rubbish with chopsticks!

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And pyramids.

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Three, two, one, go!

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He's away.

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Hang on, Ray seems practically proficient!

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And look at that!

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He manoeuvred that meandering marshmallow like a chopstick pro.

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I just hope he's remembered the correct pyramid configuration.

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It's looking promising.

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I'm impressed, and I'm not afraid to show it.

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-Ray! Go on, Ray.

-Let's go. Go.

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-Oh!

-No! I jinxed him!

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Just be glad you didn't make him knock his pyramid over.

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Yep!

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A staggering competent display

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of chopstickery by my mini marshmallow man!

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But this is where it gets electrifying,

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as the main contenders take to the stage,

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starting with four-time champ Cherry.

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The great man has reset the table so he can build sideways.

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He looks focused. This for the title.

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Three, two, one, go.

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It's a speedy start, and the shaking hands that have blighted

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Cherry's season are looking almost steady.

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And just look at the confident way he nudged that marshmallow

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away from the yellow line.

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Disqualification today would spell disaster.

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Cherry's pyramid is ordered and precise.

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This is magnificent marshmallow mounting.

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Ohhh, Cherry tussled with a toppler there.

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And won!

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That looked fast, but Cherry seems strangely subdued.

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He's thrown down the marshmallow gauntlet.

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But does he think his performance is beatable?

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Dare the Sizzler dream of actually winning this?

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Three, two, one, go!

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Hang on, what kind of marshmallow is that?

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Steve scoured the world for a cuboid marshmallow,

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and these are from Malta.

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Could this masterstroke win him the title?

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Oh, he fumbled number five!

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But Sizzler recovers with aplomb.

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Is that bottom layer going to hold out, though?

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I hope so! Five series of trying to beat Cherry.

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Is this a record-breaking, nay, championship-winning performance?

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Stop.

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Ho-ho-ho-ho!

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A dangerous sway right there at the end,

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but Sizzler's pyramid stands firm.

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So here we go, everything has led to this moment.

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Did anyone break that 35-second target, and, more importantly,

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who is about to be crowned as Series 6 champion?

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Over to the official adjudicator.

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Shantha, do we have a record?

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Yes!

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Oh, excellent news! We're finishing Officially Competitive

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with a flourish! But the all-important question remains.

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Who got that record

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and therefore who got the final competitive point?

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Shantha?

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Well, I can confirm that all three competitors broke the record target.

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-ALL:

-Ooh!

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Round of applause!

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What a way to end the competition!

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In third place, with a time of 30.38 seconds...

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..is Ray.

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Well done, Ray! Well done!

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He came in third and last.

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Great improvement, man.

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But let's not forget,

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Ray just broke the world record in a chopstick event!

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A proud non-victory for the USA.

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But this is it.

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Whoever has the record takes the Officially Competitive title.

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And in first place, with a time of 11.25 seconds...

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Absolutely annihilating the record target!

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..is...

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-..Steve.

-CHEERING

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What?! What?!

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The Sizzler has done it!

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A first-ever Officially Competitive title.

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And look what it means to him!

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No-one thought the great Cherry could ever be beaten,

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but with a succession of stunning performances,

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-Steve has finally found glory.

-Sir Sizzlin' Steve, we salute you!

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It's been a long time in coming, but I tell you what,

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it's been worth the wait.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your Officially Competitive

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Series 6 champion, Sizzlin' Steve!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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MUSIC: Land Of Hope And Glory by Elgar

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Whoo!

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But our new champion has no time to relax...

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..as Tatyana here might have a little job for him.

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She's one of our top predictors in the Bunker audience today,

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and, as it's the finale, she gets to make not one but two big decisions

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as we attempt the record for...

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One of those decisions is which two of our competitors will be

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taking part in the day's final challenge.

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The other is deciding between Albert Jackson and I as to who goes into...

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..the Gunge Tank of Doom.

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DRAMATIC MUSIC

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Which two of our competitors do you want to compete in the final event?

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Steve and Ray.

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-OK! Steve and Ray.

-Steve and Ray!

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Now time for the big decision.

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Tatyana...

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..between myself and Albert Jackson,

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who would you like to send to their gungy fate? Please tell us now.

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-Ben.

-Yeah!

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Thank you, Tatyana!

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If Sizzle and Ray don't break the record, Ben gets a gunging.

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So fingers crossed for failure.

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Oh, that IS nice...

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Steve and Ray try their best - I think -

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but fall 20 leapfrogs short of the target,

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which means joy for everyone. Barring me, seemingly.

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MUSIC: Ode To Joy by Beethoven

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I can watch this all day!

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Thanks, Al...

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Sizzlin' Steve ends this series shrouded in glory,

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and I end up smothered in hunger. But what a series it's been.

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# Well, we've seen jester dogs skipping

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# Burpee backflipping

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# And Cyr-wheel rotation

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# Record-breaking horseboard jumping

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# And rugby-ball-catching elation

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# Lee was the king of wakesurfing

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# There were motorcycle supermen

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# We saw the fastest hula-hooping

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# And the majesty of Bendy Ben

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# John Walker didn't miss a thing

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# And what about that leapfrog juggling?

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# The Moffatts proved to be unreal

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# At driving their cars on two wheels

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# In our new secret record-breaking bunker

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# Three legends fought once more

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# There were domino falls

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# There were flying Ping-Pong balls

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# There was biscuit on the floor

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# Just look at Ray's jumping

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# And at Cherry's speedy marble moving

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# And would you believe we saw Sizzlin' Steve

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# Crowned our new competitive king?

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# Rebecca Hill, Donovan as they spun

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# Acropolis skipped using humans

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# As always, we've seen some amazing stuff

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# And just in case all that wasn't enough

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# We had a dog that was good at catching

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# Incredible synchro ice skating

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# High-bar giants, egg placing

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# And everyone got a good gunging

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# They are all Officially

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# And you could be Officially

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# In a world that is

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# Officially Amazing! #

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