Amazing Archery, High Bar Heroism and Golf Tees Officially Amazing

-Officially... Biggest.

-Shoe!

-Weirdest.

-Face!

-Fastest.

-Loo!

-Tightest.

-Space!

-Longest.

-Snake!

-Smallest.

-Van!

-Heaviest.

-Cake!

-Tallest.

-Man!

-Longest ears on a dog.

-Aw!

Most poisonous frog!

-And a woman with a beard.

-What?!

Officially, officially, officially... Amazing!

-Hello and welcome to Officially Amazing... ALL:

-Goes Bunkers.

This crowd want Guinness World Record title attempts.

And we've got an awesome Olympic special.

Including a dazzling display on the high bar.

Paralympic archery excellence.

And some phenomenally fiddly fork lifting.

Not an Olympic event...yet.

As always, the bunker bunch will try to predict

the outcome of every record.

In the hope of being chosen to gunge

one of our officially competitive colossi at the end of the show.

And now to release those mighty men.

Band, some explosive rock music, please,

for the luminescent lung buster that is Mr Cherry.

Cherry-san!

# Brace yourselves, it's the man from Japan

# The four-time competitive champion

# Do Ray and Steve even have a chance

# Of beating the man with the spangly pants?

# Who can break records like nobody else can?

# Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cherry-san! #

England. Scotland. Ireland. Wales. Union Jack.

Cherry's a Team UK fan.

-Result.

-Next out is my mini Minotaur.

Band, tell 'em who it is.

# It's USA

# The best come in small packages, they say

# But they don't come much smaller than US Ray

# Can the pocket rocket break a record today?

# Everybody love the USA! It's USA...

# Ray! #

Just when you're thinking this can't possibly get any more exhilarating,

here's Sizzling Steve.

# In Sizzling Steve

# In Sizzling Steve

# We do believe

# We do believe

# What mundane skill

# What mundane skill

# Has he got up his sleeve?

# Has he got up his sleeve?

BOTH: # Well, you can send him any test

# And he will yearn to be the best

# Cos he's a record-breaking legend, Sizzling Steve. #

A laid-back, casual, laissez faire vibe today from the Siz

and I'm furious, the man has a record to prepare for.

While he goes to the Officially Amazing naughty step,

let's meet some forklift drivers from China.

Who are they, Haruka?

This is Luol and this is An,

and they're about to attempt the record for...

Yes, that's stacking delicate champagne glasses

with an industrial vehicle.

Using this special attachment, they'll stack glasses one by one,

hoping to build a tower that's at least 11 glasses high.

The bunker crew must now make their first prediction.

And a cautious 53% of them think the record will be broken.

What do you think?

Luol goes first.

Gently does it.

One looked difficult enough.

How high will they go?

Well, that's two.

Feeling the heat, Luol removes her coat.

-Total concentration is required here, Ben.

-Mmm?

I said, total concentration is...

Quiet, Haruka, I'm trying to concentrate.

That's three glasses.

Luol continues her brave stacking odyssey,

building a tower of 13 glasses.

She's going to try 14.

This level of tension takes its toll.

The higher the stack, the more difficult it is to see the top.

I can't breathe, Haruka.

Yes!

Luol has the record at 14.

Can An beat it?

A solid start and soon he matches Luol's score.

Can he get 15 and snatch the record?

He can, but he's not happy with that.

One more for 16.

And he's still going.

17 for a truly astonishing world record.

Oh, no!

Oh, disaster!

An's dreams destroyed in one enormous smasheroo.

Actually, Ben, because An's tower of 16 glasses stood for ten seconds,

it's still a brand-new world record.

Oh! I need a lie down.

But I can't have one.

For it is that I'm for the wonder, the glory,

and the splendour that is...

Previously on Officially Competitive...

Cherry obliterated the competition in a record

that used chopsticks to move food...

Weird. ..leaving Sizzler languishing at the bottom of the table.

Today, they tackle the record for fastest time to stack

ten golf tees on ten golf balls.

Before we tee off, here are the rules.

Commercially available balls and tees must be used and both must be

in a container at the start of the attempt.

The record must take place on a surface of artificial grass.

And once the ten tees are on the ten balls,

they must stand for five seconds without falling off.

If they do it in 14.5 seconds or under, it's a world record.

So, how are our competitors feeling?

Only one way to find out.

Hard chat.

This is a record which rewards patience,

deftness and a gentle, featherlight touch.

Do you have any of those skills?

-Yes, I think so.

-Tell me for why.

-Just me.

-Just you.

Sorry, Sizzler.

Just you will be no match

for just the greatest athlete America has ever produced.

I'm talking about US Ray.

Ray, how are you feeling about your chances?

-I'm feeling pretty good about it.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Why don't you demonstrate the technique you're going to use?

Ball. Tee. Spot. Ball. Tee. Spot.

Simple. Ball. Tee. Spot. You need me to go over that again?

I didn't think so. We'll do it in the victory circle.

-US Ray.

-Hole in one.

All day.

Unfathomable fighting talk from Camp USA as usual.

Now to Cherry-san and his guru, Chicky.

How hard is it to actually balance the tee on the ball?

-TRANSLATION:

-It's as tricky as going to top of Big Ben

and trying to pour tea into a cup on t'ground.

AKA very tricky indeed.

So, who do you think will be our top golfer today?

56% of the audience think Ray will win,

and as the only competitor who has ever played golf,

they could be onto something.

First on the fairway is Mr Cherry.

Mr Cherry, are you ready?

The traditional Japanese air golf preparation from Cherry.

One, two, three.

-Oh!

-Ah! Come on!

Good.

Three, two, one,

go.

It's a nervous start from the big man.

Those hands are shaking.

Nerves are kryptonite to Mr Cherry.

He's struggling with his tees and it's hard to watch.

This is truly terrible tee teetering.

It's all going wrong for Cherry-san and the crowd can't believe it.

They've never seen the great man flounder before.

Oh, this is a nightmare.

And now, the tees are knocking each other off.

And that's it. Will they hold?

Three, two, one.

Yes! But that was not vintage Cherry.

Have we come up against an impossible task?

Time for my tiny T Rex to show them how it's done.

Go!

And Ray is away.

Come on!

It's a bumbling start, though, Al.

Ray's tees are diving right off the balls.

But Ray's fingers are fast and furious,

replacing those slipping tees at an astonishing rate.

His ambidextrous abilities are working to full effect here.

Impressive stuff.

-Stop.

-Five, four...

-Sizzler's looking worried.

Glorious golfing grapple-age,

and he knows it.

Last to tee off is the Sizzleoid.

Go!

Oh, a swift start and Steve has chosen a lankier tee

for his attempt.

Will that make a difference?

Steve's stacking is sublime.

Oh, apart from that one.

We are in the Sizzler sweet spot -

an infuriatingly fiddly task crushed by a superhuman focus.

Oh! But Steve's attempt at the double hander did not pay off.

Come on, Siz.

-Stop.

-Five, four...

Will they stay stacked?

..three, two, one.

-Yeah.

-All right.

-Really good.

-Nice job.

A flawless flurry of tee balancing from the Siz.

Apart from those flaws.

We've witnessed three beguiling balancing acts.

Would anyone beat the target of 14.5 seconds?

Shantha, please tell me, do we have a record?

-No, we don't.

-Oh!

Let's move on to the all-important competitive point.

Shantha?

Well, in third place, with a time of 48.55 seconds...

Over three times longer than the record target.

..is Mr Cherry.

Oh! Cherry in last place?!

Such a rare occurrence, he can't compute.

And in first place, with a time of 18.65 seconds...

-..is Steve!

-Yes!

-High-five!

Discombobulating scenes as Sizzler celebrates

by what can only be described as actual running.

Yep, he's going to need a long breather after that.

Sizzler beat Ray by 5.63 seconds to lead the competition

level on two points and one world record each.

Incredible.

Our gladiators will be back later as two of them come together

to attempt another world record.

Should they fail, they will send the remaining competitor

to the fearsome Gunge Tank of Doom.

The gunge tank victim will be chosen by one of the most accurate

predictors in the audience.

And their predicting fingers are at the ready now as we raise the bar

with the first of our two Olympians.

Meet European high bar champion Nile Wilson,

the first Brit ever to claim an Olympic high bar medal

with bronze at Rio 2016.

But can he claim a Guinness World Records title for...?

This is a giant.

A 360-degree rotating handstand around the bar.

It's pretty hard.

Here are the rules.

Nile's legs must be together throughout the attempt.

Should he fall or fail to complete a full giant, the attempt is over.

And if he performs 42 giants in one minute, it's a world record.

Let's meet our Olympic hero.

Nile, welcome to Officially Amazing,

and congratulations with your Olympics bronze medal.

Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

You're here today with us for a record.

-How confident are you?

-I'm confident that it's possible and that I can

-definitely achieve it.

-How do you combat the dizziness?

I might have to shut my eyes.

Just forget that I'm doing it.

It's going to be quite tiring

but, yeah, hopefully I'll smash it.

This is such a physically exhausting record,

Nile can only manage one attempt, so he needs to make it count.

Do you think he'll do it?

Well, 89% of our bunker guests do.

Let's see if they're right.

Nile takes to the bar and checks his grip.

Time will start when he swings to the handstand position.

And he's off. Yes, come on.

It takes enormous strength to propel the body round and round.

Nile's wearing wrist supports and hand guards to help avoid injury.

Come on, Nile. Come on!

Spin-tillating circulating!

That's 15 giants so far.

He must be so dizzy.

Indeed, Haruka, and I've done some light geometry.

Nile has a spinning speed of around 20mph.

He might take some unwinding after this.

-Come on, Nile, come on.

-Yeah, come on.

30 seconds.

21 at the halfway point.

He's on record pace.

-Goodness.

-Come on, Nile, come on!

He's smack on track, but can he maintain this awesome orbiting?

Come on!

Ah!

Ah!

You can hear him fighting against the strain

this is taking on his body.

He's clearly shattered.

Come on. His arms must feel like they're on fire.

Come on, mate, you've got this, come on.

Come on, Nile, slay these giants!

Five, four, three...

Oh, he came off early.

-He's off.

-The official adjudicator, Mark,

shouted there were five seconds left and Nile let go.

Did he think time was up or was he simply exhausted?

My muscles were aching, my heart was pounding, my lungs were screaming.

I'm gutted because I dropped off with five seconds to go.

I thought it was time. To be fair,

I did tell him to count to me in from five

but because I had spun round the back,

my head were gone.

Nile was so dizzy, he misheard five for time.

How decisive could those five seconds be?

It's over to official adjudicator, Mark.

So, Nile, in order to achieve the record today,

you needed a minimum of 42 high bar giants.

On this attempt, you achieved...

..39.

Oh! I reckon I could have probably got 42, matched it.

So close. It looked fantastic.

-How about you come back on and do it?

-100%.

I'd love to come back and have another try.

-He is still Officially Amazing. Put it there.

-Thank you very much.

Well done, well done.

Excruciating.

It just goes to show how difficult it is to achieve a world record

if even an Olympian can miss out.

Disappointment, too,

for the 89% of the bunker crew who got that one wrong.

And they have just one more prediction to make,

so let's set our concentration dials to max

and meet our next Olympic legend.

This is astonishing archer John Walker.

In 2012, he was watching the Paralympics on TV.

Just four years later, he was at Rio 2016 and won double Paralympic gold.

He's European Champion...

..World Champion and Paralympic Champion.

But can John become Officially Amazing Champion

as he attempts the record for...?

Here are the rules.

12 balloons must be attached to the outer ring

of a standard archery target.

The balloons must be burst clockwise and in order.

The archer must be a whopping 18 metres from the target.

That's almost as long as two double-decker buses!

For the world record,

John must burst all 12 balloons in three minutes or under.

Shooting arrows is ridiculously dangerous

but John is a highly trained expert. Do not try this at home!

John, it's lovely to meet you.

Thanks for coming on Officially Amazing.

My pleasure.

Describe the feeling of actually winning Paralympic gold.

It has been life-changing but at the time when I won them,

it didn't really hit me as to what I had actually achieved,

-to be quite honest.

-When it comes to archery,

you don't really want anything to hit you, do you?

-No, not really.

-That's the key!

-This is very true.

Let's move things on to the record today.

-OK.

-It's a really cool one as well.

-Yeah.

-You're shooting balloons essentially around the clock

on a target in a clockwise motion.

-Yeah.

-On something like is, accuracy is everything, isn't it?

It's also timing.

To do this in three minutes is going to be very hard.

I've got to load and shoot each arrow.

John only has partial use of his right arm,

so has to load the arrow and hold the bow with his left hand.

He then attaches the bow string to a clip on his shoulder harness which

will be released by one small tug on this ball.

By stretching the bow forward, he draws the string, takes aim and...

bull's-eye!

76% of the audience are predicting a victory for the Paralympic champ.

What do you think?

John has requested complete silence in the room.

I'll find this hard.

Time starts when John fires his first arrow.

And it's game on.

And that's another brilliantly obliterated balloon.

Oh, but John's struggling to get the clip engaged.

But that's a third direct hit.

Oh, no, another fumble.

Will those lost seconds cost him?

Not if he keeps firing like this, they won't.

John's hitting the target with every arrow,

balloon after balloon after balloon.

From 18 metres away!

This is the very definition of sharp shooting.

11 o'clock. Nailed.

But...can he score a clean sweep?

Yes! Look at that!

Astronomical arrow accuracy from the Paralympian!

Not one missed shot,

but was it a world record?

You needed a time of three minutes or better...

-Yeah.

-..and that attempt...

..was three minutes and seven seconds.

-OK!

-Oh!

Discombobulation!

Seven seconds from glory.

Those tiny fumbles proved pivotal.

Can John make it round vault three in attempt two?

And it's another perfect start.

John's shooting with pinpoint precision...

..and he's hooking much more cleanly this time.

Come on, John.

He makes it look easy.

But to maintain this level of accuracy over 18 metres

is phenomenally hard!

The yellow glasses eliminate the glare from our lights

and the blinker is to remove all distractions

from John's peripheral vision.

I'm not sure what distractions there are here, though.

John's powering through.

Just one balloon left!

And boom, another perfect run!

It looks great!

But was it under three minutes?

On that attempt, it was a time...

..of two minutes and 43 seconds!

Oh!

Yes!

A remarkable display of world-class bowmanship!

Not many people can better double Paralympic gold

but, John Walker, you just did!

And now for more celebrations

as we announce the most proficient predictors in the bunker today.

Let's clap our hands wildly for Lewis...

-Mekia...

-Max...

-Jamie...

-Nadine...

-Rhys...

-Ben...

-And some of our overexcited, ahem, bigger guests...

Miss Maxwell...

Mrs Robertson...

And Mr Coddle.

They all predicted the results of today's records

with over 75% accuracy. But only one of them

will be randomly selected by our mega computer

to take part in our final record breaking challenge.

And I can now reveal that that person is...

..the magnificently monikered Ben!

Young Ben rises to greet his adoring crowd.

Tell me more about this majestic man, old Ben!

Well, Ben loves football.

Me too!

-Ow!

-Ooops!

Ben wishes he could fly.

Done!

And he thinks the funniest thing in the world is...Sizzling Steve?!

Yup, he is hilarious!

Hmmmm. Sizzler enthusiast Ben

now has a very important decision to make,

as we take on the record for...

Ben, we need to know which of our competitors are going to be staying

and playing our final challenge,

and who is going to be sent tail betwixt their legs

to the Gunge Tank Of Doom.

-Who would you like to send to the Gunge Tank Of Doom?

-Sizzling Steve.

CHEERING

Astonishment as Ben sends his comedy hero to the gunge tank!

Although last time Sizzler competed in this event, he collapsed,

so maybe it's for the best!

This will be the second time we've enjoyed the ferocious fusion

of Ray and Cherry.

Who shall henceforth be known as Rerry!

Rerry showcased some blistering bum scooting

when they went bum to bum in the individual event.

Could Sizzler be saved from a sploshing?

Here are the rules.

The event must take place on a ten-metre-long course.

Ray must bum scoot for ten metres

before handing a relay baton to Cherry.

Cherry may not begin scooting

until Ray's bum has crossed the ten-metre line.

Only bums and feet may touch the floor.

And if the baton is dropped, the attempt will be disqualified.

If they do it in 25 seconds or under, it's a world record.

If they don't, it's Gunge-ageddon.

Sizzler's fate lies betwixt the buttocks of Mr Cherry and US Ray.

Three, two, one, go!

And Ray's rear rockets from the start line!

Ray scoots using the power arm technique

so popular in bum scooting today!

He's quite literally flying by the seat of his pants, Al!

And here's the tricky baton handover.

Oh, the baton has been passed.

Cherry's off. Oh, textbook stuff.

And Cherry's away.

Look how Cherry's eyes were firmly on Ray's behind,

making sure he crossed the line first!

Fastidious rule following!

Young Ben roars his hero on!

Over halfway and Cherry's scooting

like he's hiding a jet engine in those sparkly pants!

To clarify, he is not.

And an acrobatic finish!

Two unstoppably runny bums!

But did they scoot fast enough to save Sizzler

with a Guinness World Record title?

The target to beat was 25 seconds.

Today, you managed a time...

..of 26.89 seconds!

So just off!

Rerry's buttocks were just 1.89 seconds from glory!

Sizzler is devastated,

but Ben seems remarkably happy!

Five, four, three, two, one...

Ohhh!

Young Ben certainly has a point.

Sizzler is phenomenally funny.

We'll see you next time for more rambunctious records like these.

# Well, Nile couldn't quite triumph at the high bar giants

# He just fell short by three

# But there was no stopping John's balloon popping

# What amazing archery

# Well, I never thought I'd see glasses stacked by machinery

# Or the sight of Mr Cherry having so much trouble with his golf tees

# Or a gunging due to a failed bum scooting relay

# It's all in Officially Amazing. #