Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. Members of the England handball team aim to claim a record on Lowestoft beach.
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# Officially, officially officially
# Ta-da! #
MUSIC: I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside
Today, I'm taking in the best of the great British summer time.
I've got me candyfloss,
I got one of the great works of English literature to read.
What could possibly go wrong? SEAGULL SQUAWKS
Well, apart from that, of course.
Here's what coming up on today's show.
What record will this bloke attempt to break with his botty?
Find out soon.
And Haruka, Al and I face the horror of being fed
by our competitors' feet.
But first, let's get back to the beach.
Meet England international handballers Mark, Corie,
Glyn, Kathryn and Louise.
They've come here to the Lowestoft Summer Festival
to train up the handball stars of the future,
and to try and break the world record for...
This is a kempa shot and this is me meeting the kempa shooters.
Well, it's a great day guys. I'm hoping for a great record attempt.
Are you feeling confident?
Yeah, if we were indoor, we wouldn't be worried.
But out here on the sand, it's tiring just, like, doing the, literally, the three steps.
But, to jump, catch and throw it all in the goal and then run back and do it again,
it's going to be really tough. But, obviously, we've got all these kids here today,
so they'll all be watching and we really don't want to let them down.
Before we get handballing, here are the rules.
Balls must be caught and thrown while the player is in the air.
To be valid, a shot must enter one of the four targets in the goal,
each measuring 40cm squared.
Players must be behind a line six metres from goal when they jump,
and the record to beat is 16 valid shots in one minute.
Guys, are you ready to see a record?
I think that's a yes.
DING! 'That's one!'
BUZZ! Oh, it's close!
DING! 'And that's two!'
BUZZ! Oh, it's close again.
DING! Really good!
In regular handball, the team has the whole goal to shoot at,
but this record requires pinpoint accuracy,
and perfect passing from Louise.
Oh, halfway, guys, halfway!
'Mark is denied by the crossbar - excruciating!'
'Great shot from Glyn,
but he wasn't in the air when he caught the ball.
'It won't count.'
That's it! That's it!
'Official adjudicator Mark reviews the footage in slow-mo to
'check that all the shots were valid.
'Do we have a record?'
Well, the record to beat today was 16.
We had to disqualify four jumps
because they were not valid.
So, you ended up with a score...
'And there's more disappointment as attempt two sees another
'score of 12.'
So, while the team prepares for their final attempt,
Al and Haruka will look at a talented bottom.
This looks great, Haruka. What on Earth is going on?
This is pungmul, a Korean folk-music tradition.
Great. And what's that?
Is it like Morris dancing?
Cos I don't know what that is, either.
Kind of, but the record is for bum bounces.
Yes, of course.
Won-Tae Kwon here will attempt the record for...
So, what is a bum bounce?
It sounds rude.
Won-Tae bounces with one leg either side of the rope,
twists 180 degrees in midair,
and lands with a leg either side of the rope again.
All I can say, Haruka, is "Ouch!".
Indeed! The world record target is ten bounces.
This is going to be tough to watch.
He must have undercrackers of steel!
What do you think the fan's for?
To cool himself down, of course.
The last thing Won-Tae needs right now is a sweaty bottom.
Has Won-Tae bounced his bum into the record books?
Yes, he has!
12 bum-bouncing rotations.
Won-Tae, you are a bouncy-bottomed champion.
Well, if the hat fits, Haruka...
or even if it doesn't.
Now, back to Ben on the beach.
After two courageous but unsuccessful efforts,
our handballers have one final attempt to break the 16-shot target.
This is it!
DING! 'Right in the top corner!'
DING! Yes, it's a great start!
DING! Yes, come on! Keep that up!
'This is such hard work on sand,
'but the crowd are driving them on.'
'They need to stay on target to have a chance at the record.'
Come on, halfway, halfway!
DING! 'Yes, that's more like it. Great shot!'
DING! Yes! Lovely!
Great stuff, guys. Good pace!
DING! 'This is looking good. Come on.'
-Come on, ten seconds left! Come on now, last push!
'Oh! Off the line!'
'Did team England beat that record of 16?
'Time for a Mark attack.'
How did they do on their third and final attempt?
There were only two disqualified goals,
so you achieved...
I think we've proven that you guys are great at getting 12 in a minute.
Sadly, sadly, not the record, but, to me, it was still a phenomenal attempt.
Well done, guys. You're still officially amazing. Well done.
-Thank you, thanks.
They gave it everything and came close three times,
but it wasn't to be for Team England.
Now, time for a disgusting feat
with disgusting feet.
It is a fable as old as time itself.
Three formidable fellows, locked in mortal combat,
competing for world records that you can try at home.
For America, U S of Ray.
For the UK, a Steve who sizzles.
And for Japan, the legend himself,
the three-time world champion,
the Mr Cherry-san.
This is Officially Competitive 4 Real.
Previously, on Officially Competitive.
Sizzling Steve produced a masterful display of jelly-baby
chopstickery to beat his own world record
and take an early lead in the competition.
But today, there's a whiff of cheese in the bunker,
as our competitors get their feet out.
Distressingly, those feet will be used in today's record.
Namely, to feed us with.
Yes, we'll be attempting the record for...
Feet which are contractually obliged to be clean.
Er, which foot will I be getting?
-All right, there's close enough.
It's hairier than I thought and refreshing to see someone who
takes such a lax attitude to toenail maintenance.
That right foot, what makes that so special?
Why can it hold a spoonful of jelly?
I don't know.
It is humbling to watch such a master tactician at work.
This is a tough record. Please tell me you've been practising.
Of course I've been practising.
Good. With who? My grandma.
-Oh, yeah, she loves Jell-o.
Thank you, Grandma. We're doing this for you, boo.
I'm sorry, Grandma Ray,
but Mr Cherry's toes want this record badly.
How difficult is it using the spoon and scooping the jelly out?
-Oh, very difficult,
but I've been practising with my TV remote control,
changing channels with my toes and adjusting volume and so forth.
My favourite channel is CBBC, obviously,
but I've watched a lot of CBeebies by accident.
Here are the disgusting rules.
Any flavour jelly may be used.
Competitors may choose the size of their spoon.
Only the spoon may transfer jelly to the mouth,
and only the foot may touch the spoon.
The target for this disconcerting new world record
is 100g of jelly in 30 seconds.
To try this at home, you'll need...
Up first, playing for Grandma Ray, Team USA.
Al, any last words?
Unfettered excitement from Al.
Awkward foot action from US Ray,
but that's one spoonful eaten.
The jelly almost felly from Al's mouth there,
but he slurped it back in.
Ray's dropped a whole spoonful
You're losing the spoon, Ray!
Don't lose the spoon, Ray!
Oh, you lost the spoon.
Grandma Ray was expecting better than that.
Shantha weighs the remaining jelly to calculate how much Al ate.
Can Team UK do any better?
The marooned trout position is working out that well for Ben.
And look at the foot-based focus on his face.
Steve's dropped some Jell-O.
But, check out this sublime scoffing from Ben.
I'm a jelly-eating dynamo!
Ten seconds left.
Sizzler's put his foot in the Jell-O.
Luckily, the bit going in Ben's mouth didn't get covered in foot.
And, for that, I'll be forever thankful.
Steve, you'll need to get the jelly off your foot
and put it back in the tray.
Yes, such are the fine margins in elite record-breaking.
The jelly must be scraped from Steve's foot in order to
calculate our score.
STEVE: Is that OK, Shantha?
There's still a lot...
You might need to get right in there, Shantha, so don't be afraid.
Shantha's not satisfied with Steve's jelly removal skills.
She will never forget this day.
No matter how hard she tries.
Mr Cherry spent three hours patriotically pedicuring his toes for this record.
A mark of the man.
Look at the poise adopted by the great man!
The balance of a ballerina
with the Jell-O delivery of a butler.
Haruka is getting bulbous mouthfuls every time.
This is impressive.
Can they beat that 100g target?
Ten seconds left.
Well, I hope this isn't all for nothing.
A jelly good show all round,
if a trifle disappointing for Team USA.
Do we have a new world record?
In third place...
A mere 92g short of the target.
.. is Team USA.
I'm sorry, Grandma Ray.
And the winner,
with a total of 127 grams...
Obliterating the record.
..is Team Japan.
So, Team Japan claims the world record!
And Al and I were fed by feet
Which means Mr Cherry gets the competitive point
and joins Steve at the top of the league.
The pressure is on Ray now.
How will he perform in hula-hoop racing?
Find out next time,
when we return with more ginormously juicy records like these.
# Well, the England team couldn't quite live the dream
# and break record on the beach.
# They gave they got with their kempa shots
# but 16 was just out of reach.
# Our presenters had the treat
# of jelly fed by our competitors' feet.
# Team Japan were the best
# at this smelly jelly test.
# And Won-Tae's bouncing botty was amazing!
#But here come the rubbish bits -
# the outtakes! #
And we're hoping to witness an incredible wec...wecord?
We're hoping to witness a wecord.
Official adjudicator Pampa...
Let's just go. Let's go.
Members of the England handball team aim to claim an exhilarating record on Lowestoft beach. Also, our Officially Competitive contestants - Sizzling Steve, US Ray and Mr Cherry - feed jelly to our presenters Al, Haruka and Ben using a spoon held by their feet!