Episode 4 Officially Amazing

# Officially, officially Officially amazing! #

Ta-da.

This is Officially Amazing, the show that brings you the most

-fearless...

-The most ferocious...

And the most fantabulabumtious records in the world.

And here's what's coming on today's show.

Is "fantabulabumtious" even a word?

Oh, Al, stop being so interriblematic.

Can these eggs survive the might of this man's whip?

And bowl plus belly

plus helicopter plus ponytail equals what?!

Find out later but first...

SHE SCREAMS

A trio of tremendous titans

locked in battle to become

the world's greatest record-breaking colossus.

Introducing American Idol, US Ray,

the beast from the East,

Japan's Mr Cherry,

and the crown jewel of the United Kingdom, Sizzling Steve.

This is...

Previously on Officially Competitive...

Our heroes' hapless Hula Hooping laid shame on this great tournament.

US Ray claimed the point by being the least rubbish.

This time, they need to do better.

Despite what this may look like, we're not

about to embark on a romantic soiree for six here in the

0C bunker.

No, instead, we're all set and ready for today's record,

and that's the record for the...

Er, where's the light switch?

-THUMP

-Ow.

-Oh.

-Ooh.

-Don't touch that.

-Argh.

-Oh.

-Ow. Everyone just sit down on this sofa.

Ey, Shires, that's me. I resent that.

Oh, but you're so comfortable, Al.

Oh, somebody get a torch. Now.

The last time we encountered blowing, Sizzler got the

world record.

So, with a record like this, you have to be a master

of the wind. Are you?

-Of my own wind, yes.

-Good. Can you give me a demonstration?

HE EXHALES SOFTLY

OK.

What you think is going to give you the edge over Mr Cherry and Ray?

Just my past experience on being able to blow things in and out.

Inspirational scenes, but don't forget my little man's big lungs.

The one thing with this record is, you have to blow out

the candles individually. So it's more about directional blowing.

-How are your skills?

-Pretty great.

-Do you want to test them on this little red flag?

-Let's do it.

HE EXHALES

That's a man that can decide which way he's blowing.

Whatever.

Cherry's here to blow up a storm.

What attribute will help you to claim this record?

Well, I often blow out candles on me

mates' birthday cakes. We have races to blow out the last one.

Of course, I always win. I am the champion.

As always, there are rules.

The candles must be at least 5cm tall and placed 10cm apart.

Only one candle may be extinguished by each single blow.

If a blow extinguishes more than one candle,

they will all be disqualified.

And the target for this brand-new record is 30 candles blown out

in one minute.

This is a very dangerous record, so we have a fire warden,

smouldering John, on standby

and in a Competitive first...

KLAXON BLARES

Hi, Ray.

Usually I say don't blow it, but do that this time, all right?

-Got it.

-Three, two, one...

KLAXON BLARES Go.

-This is fast.

-Come on, Ray.

Ray's an elite athlete.

His superior lung capacity is obvious.

Breathtaking breath taking.

You're going to get them all.

Coming up on your turn.

But Ray's come unstuck at the first corner.

He blew out two candles with one breath.

Neither of them will count.

That bend's not called the Devil's Fiery Hairpin for nothing.

No, but it hasn't slowed Ray down.

-What a performance.

-Five, four...

-Come on, Ray.

..three, two, one, stop.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Yeah.

-Oh.

He didn't need the extra candles

but that'll take some beating.

Steve, time to prove you're full of hot air.

And ever the innovator, Sizzler's chosen

to blow anticlockwise.

Could that prove crucial?

-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

Candle four won't go out. He doubles back but that's vital

milliseconds seconds lost.

Indeed, Haruka, but Sizzler's wind is blowing furiously fast.

He's hitting top gear now. This might even be US Ray pace.

And Sizzler glides round the Devil's Fiery Hairpin like he's on rails.

Distinguished extinguishing.

-Five...

-Come on, Steve.

-..four,

-three...

-Quick finish, quick finish.

-..two, one.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Stop.

Another valiant attempt

but Cherry-san is ready to blow them both away.

Can we do this?

Yes, we can do.

BOTH: Yes, we can do. Yes, we can do.

Can the great man's wind match his wordplay?

-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

Cherry's missed one already.

Oh, no. Now he's blown out two candles with one breath.

But he's still powering through, billowing, bellowing.

Oh, but Cherry's double blown again.

This could cost him.

Cherry's flying around at full throttle. He's on fire.

No, he's not, Haruka.

Smouldering John's making sure of that.

Is Cherry about to blow a full lap?

Three, two, one.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Stop.

Ooh, just one candle left.

Exalted exhalation all round but who blew best?

Shantha, has anyone secured a world record? It looked good to me.

Yes, they have.

Yes, come on.

I can confirm can confirm

that all challengers beat the minimum requirement...

..but all challengers had candles disqualified.

The tension dial has hit stratospheric.

In third place...

with a total of 78 candles...

..is Steve.

Coming last, despite more than doubling the record target.

And in first place...

with a total of 88 candles...

is Ray.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's my dog.

That's my dog.

That's my dog. Yay.

So Al's dog

takes his first world record of the series. Woof.

Cherry blew out 99 candles but had 16 disqualified for double blows.

Ray only had four disqualified and is now top of the league.

But who will win next time

when our competitors dice with pyramids?

Now a weirdly dangerous record.

Huh? Argh!

Oh, oh.

CHEERING

This hero, Zhou Pengcheng from China, is about to attempt the

resplendent record for...

Longest what? What in the... What are you talking about, Haruka?

It's simple.

Zhou will stick a rice bowl to his stomach by creating a vacuum.

The bowl is attached to a cable

which will hang from a helicopter to dangle him in the air.

This is another one not to try at home.

Look at that. Zhou's airborne like a beautiful oversized canary.

No! Thank goodness for that safety harness.

Zhou's stomach reverberates angrily.

But look at this. He's going again.

Zhou is a real showman.

Look at his gorgeous mane of hair swaying in the evening breeze.

Yes. You're watching a man use a piece of table crockery

to hang from a helicopter at a ludicrously unsafe height.

You're welcome, world.

And he's been up there for over five minutes.

This could last a while.

-Mind if I go for a run?

-OK.

DOOR OPENS

RUNNING FOOTSTEPS

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

PANTING

-Still there?

-Yep.

-Shower time.

-OK.

WATER RUNS

# Officially, officially Officially...amazing! #

-He's down now, right?

-No, and will you get dressed, please?

Er, oh, yes, but not before trumpet practice.

TRUMPET PLAYS

-TRUMPET PLAYS FLAT NOTE

-Argh.

Thankfully, Zhou is coming down after 12 minutes and 2 seconds.

Well done, Zhou.

Your rice bowl may suck but you most certainly do not.

Now, I believe Ben has something...

TWEET-TWEET

IT ROARS Argh! Ow.

Aaaaaaaargh!

Ah, camping in the great British countryside.

The twitter of birds, the humming of bees, and a little lunch.

Sausages are ready.

I just need to scramble me egg and we're good to go.

Johnny Strange, you're the worst campfire companion ever.

And you've made me burn me sausage.

Typical.

Meet multiple world record holder and whipping wonder Johnny Strange

and his two-metre-long fearsome bullwhip, unnamed.

The whip cracks at a supersonic 700mph and this...

CRACK

..is the noise of it breaking the sound barrier.

Today, Johnny will attempt the record for...

That whip could easily break a human bone so...

You must have been in training breaking a lot of eggs.

I have. I was lucky enough to get a tonne of out-of-date eggs

donated from the local supermarket.

-I bet they were a delight to work with. Rotten eggs.

-Yeah.

Here are the rules.

Hen's eggs that are at least 6cm long must be used.

They must be positioned at least 2 metres away from the contestant

and only eggs that are completely broken will count.

The target for this brand-new world record is 10 eggs in one minute.

Let's get cracking.

Three, two, one.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

And Johnny's off.

Ooh.

If Johnny's hand is just a millimetre off target,

the whip will fall centimetres away from the egg.

Don't let that egg beat you.

Yes. He skimmed it. Yes.

And he smashed it. Come on.

But we're going to need a lot more cracking to trouble the record.

-30 seconds.

-Halfway. We need to pick this up, Johnny. Come on.

Johnny's working so hard but his whipping's wide of the mark.

So close.

Come on. This is not going well.

Five, four, three...

-Oh.

-..two, one.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Time.

With 32 cracks of the whip but only one crack of an egg,

Johnny's had a catastrophic first attempt.

What happened? What went wrong?

I think it's catching on the table at the front.

OK. So it's something that we could maybe change up?

-Yes.

-Yeah, all right. So the whip was catching the

table before reaching the eggs.

For attempt number two, Johnny's

moved them right back to the edge.

Will it make a difference?

Three, two, one.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

Oh. Yes. Oh. No. Yes.

Only his second whip, and Johnny

obliterated that egg.

Oh, come on, Johnny.

It's a good start.

Yes.

Yes, three.

This is much better but can he keep it up?

Yes, we got four. Yes.

-Whoa. That egg stood no chance.

-30 seconds.

Halfway through, and Johnny's left a trail of annihilated eggshells.

Oh, come on, Johnny. It's looking good.

Yes. And another. Yes.

And another.

Yes, come on.

Yes, come on.

Oh, he's had a roll.

An egg roll. Five in a row.

Unbelievable.

Come on. Yes.

Oh. He's doing it for fun.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Time.

-Yes.

Put it there, Johnny.

A truly cracking cabaret of

world-class egg-whipping.

Official adjudicator Mark checks the broken eggs.

Only completely smashed eggs will count.

Did Johnny break that target of ten?

Today, he managed

14 eggs. That's a brand-new Guinness World Record title.

Put it there. Cracking work, Johnny.

Johnny smashed it.

Extraordinary scenes of EGGS-tremely EGGS-quisite,

EGGS-ploding EGGS-citement.

Sorry, I just couldn't keep them in any longer.

I EGGS-pect we'll see you next time

with more EGGS-cellent EGGS-ercises like these.

Ahem, sorry.

# Well, our competitors handled the pressure of the candles with

# A very fine windy display

# They huffed and they puffed and raided enough

# To blow the other two away

# It started badly for Johnny Strange because the eggs were

# Just out of range but in the end he had the knack

# Of making them go crack and who would have thought he could

# Even do this with your belly?

# But here come the rubbish bits

# The outtakes. #

And action.

LAUGHTER