Episode 4 Officially Amazing


Episode 4

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. Featuring a man dangling from a helicopter by a bowl suctioned to his stomach.


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# Officially, officially Officially amazing! #

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Ta-da.

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This is Officially Amazing, the show that brings you the most

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-fearless...

-The most ferocious...

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And the most fantabulabumtious records in the world.

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And here's what's coming on today's show.

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Is "fantabulabumtious" even a word?

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Oh, Al, stop being so interriblematic.

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Can these eggs survive the might of this man's whip?

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And bowl plus belly

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plus helicopter plus ponytail equals what?!

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Find out later but first...

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SHE SCREAMS

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A trio of tremendous titans

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locked in battle to become

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the world's greatest record-breaking colossus.

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Introducing American Idol, US Ray,

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the beast from the East,

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Japan's Mr Cherry,

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and the crown jewel of the United Kingdom, Sizzling Steve.

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This is...

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Previously on Officially Competitive...

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Our heroes' hapless Hula Hooping laid shame on this great tournament.

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US Ray claimed the point by being the least rubbish.

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This time, they need to do better.

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Despite what this may look like, we're not

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about to embark on a romantic soiree for six here in the

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0C bunker.

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No, instead, we're all set and ready for today's record,

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and that's the record for the...

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Er, where's the light switch?

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-THUMP

-Ow.

-Oh.

-Ooh.

-Don't touch that.

-Argh.

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-Oh.

-Ow. Everyone just sit down on this sofa.

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Ey, Shires, that's me. I resent that.

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Oh, but you're so comfortable, Al.

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Oh, somebody get a torch. Now.

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The last time we encountered blowing, Sizzler got the

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world record.

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So, with a record like this, you have to be a master

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of the wind. Are you?

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-Of my own wind, yes.

-Good. Can you give me a demonstration?

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HE EXHALES SOFTLY

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OK.

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What you think is going to give you the edge over Mr Cherry and Ray?

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Just my past experience on being able to blow things in and out.

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Inspirational scenes, but don't forget my little man's big lungs.

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The one thing with this record is, you have to blow out

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the candles individually. So it's more about directional blowing.

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-How are your skills?

-Pretty great.

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-Do you want to test them on this little red flag?

-Let's do it.

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HE EXHALES

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That's a man that can decide which way he's blowing.

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Whatever.

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Cherry's here to blow up a storm.

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What attribute will help you to claim this record?

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Well, I often blow out candles on me

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mates' birthday cakes. We have races to blow out the last one.

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Of course, I always win. I am the champion.

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As always, there are rules.

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The candles must be at least 5cm tall and placed 10cm apart.

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Only one candle may be extinguished by each single blow.

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If a blow extinguishes more than one candle,

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they will all be disqualified.

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And the target for this brand-new record is 30 candles blown out

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in one minute.

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This is a very dangerous record, so we have a fire warden,

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smouldering John, on standby

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and in a Competitive first...

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KLAXON BLARES

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Hi, Ray.

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Usually I say don't blow it, but do that this time, all right?

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-Got it.

-Three, two, one...

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KLAXON BLARES Go.

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-This is fast.

-Come on, Ray.

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Ray's an elite athlete.

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His superior lung capacity is obvious.

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Breathtaking breath taking.

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You're going to get them all.

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Coming up on your turn.

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But Ray's come unstuck at the first corner.

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He blew out two candles with one breath.

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Neither of them will count.

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That bend's not called the Devil's Fiery Hairpin for nothing.

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No, but it hasn't slowed Ray down.

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-What a performance.

-Five, four...

-Come on, Ray.

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..three, two, one, stop.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Yeah.

-Oh.

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He didn't need the extra candles

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but that'll take some beating.

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Steve, time to prove you're full of hot air.

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And ever the innovator, Sizzler's chosen

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to blow anticlockwise.

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Could that prove crucial?

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

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Candle four won't go out. He doubles back but that's vital

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milliseconds seconds lost.

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Indeed, Haruka, but Sizzler's wind is blowing furiously fast.

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He's hitting top gear now. This might even be US Ray pace.

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And Sizzler glides round the Devil's Fiery Hairpin like he's on rails.

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Distinguished extinguishing.

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-Five...

-Come on, Steve.

-..four,

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-three...

-Quick finish, quick finish.

-..two, one.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Stop.

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Another valiant attempt

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but Cherry-san is ready to blow them both away.

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Can we do this?

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Yes, we can do.

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BOTH: Yes, we can do. Yes, we can do.

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Can the great man's wind match his wordplay?

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

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Cherry's missed one already.

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Oh, no. Now he's blown out two candles with one breath.

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But he's still powering through, billowing, bellowing.

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Oh, but Cherry's double blown again.

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This could cost him.

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Cherry's flying around at full throttle. He's on fire.

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No, he's not, Haruka.

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Smouldering John's making sure of that.

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Is Cherry about to blow a full lap?

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Three, two, one.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Stop.

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Ooh, just one candle left.

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Exalted exhalation all round but who blew best?

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Shantha, has anyone secured a world record? It looked good to me.

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Yes, they have.

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Yes, come on.

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I can confirm can confirm

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that all challengers beat the minimum requirement...

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..but all challengers had candles disqualified.

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The tension dial has hit stratospheric.

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In third place...

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with a total of 78 candles...

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..is Steve.

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Coming last, despite more than doubling the record target.

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And in first place...

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with a total of 88 candles...

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is Ray.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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That's my dog.

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That's my dog.

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That's my dog. Yay.

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So Al's dog

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takes his first world record of the series. Woof.

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Cherry blew out 99 candles but had 16 disqualified for double blows.

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Ray only had four disqualified and is now top of the league.

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But who will win next time

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when our competitors dice with pyramids?

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Now a weirdly dangerous record.

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Huh? Argh!

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Oh, oh.

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CHEERING

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This hero, Zhou Pengcheng from China, is about to attempt the

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resplendent record for...

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Longest what? What in the... What are you talking about, Haruka?

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It's simple.

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Zhou will stick a rice bowl to his stomach by creating a vacuum.

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The bowl is attached to a cable

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which will hang from a helicopter to dangle him in the air.

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This is another one not to try at home.

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Look at that. Zhou's airborne like a beautiful oversized canary.

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No! Thank goodness for that safety harness.

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Zhou's stomach reverberates angrily.

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But look at this. He's going again.

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Zhou is a real showman.

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Look at his gorgeous mane of hair swaying in the evening breeze.

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Yes. You're watching a man use a piece of table crockery

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to hang from a helicopter at a ludicrously unsafe height.

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You're welcome, world.

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And he's been up there for over five minutes.

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This could last a while.

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-Mind if I go for a run?

-OK.

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DOOR OPENS

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RUNNING FOOTSTEPS

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DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

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PANTING

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-Still there?

-Yep.

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-Shower time.

-OK.

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WATER RUNS

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# Officially, officially Officially...amazing! #

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-He's down now, right?

-No, and will you get dressed, please?

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Er, oh, yes, but not before trumpet practice.

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TRUMPET PLAYS

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-TRUMPET PLAYS FLAT NOTE

-Argh.

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Thankfully, Zhou is coming down after 12 minutes and 2 seconds.

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Well done, Zhou.

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Your rice bowl may suck but you most certainly do not.

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Now, I believe Ben has something...

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TWEET-TWEET

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IT ROARS Argh! Ow.

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Aaaaaaaargh!

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Ah, camping in the great British countryside.

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The twitter of birds, the humming of bees, and a little lunch.

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Sausages are ready.

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I just need to scramble me egg and we're good to go.

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Johnny Strange, you're the worst campfire companion ever.

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And you've made me burn me sausage.

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Typical.

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Meet multiple world record holder and whipping wonder Johnny Strange

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and his two-metre-long fearsome bullwhip, unnamed.

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The whip cracks at a supersonic 700mph and this...

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CRACK

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..is the noise of it breaking the sound barrier.

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Today, Johnny will attempt the record for...

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That whip could easily break a human bone so...

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You must have been in training breaking a lot of eggs.

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I have. I was lucky enough to get a tonne of out-of-date eggs

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donated from the local supermarket.

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-I bet they were a delight to work with. Rotten eggs.

-Yeah.

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Here are the rules.

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Hen's eggs that are at least 6cm long must be used.

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They must be positioned at least 2 metres away from the contestant

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and only eggs that are completely broken will count.

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The target for this brand-new world record is 10 eggs in one minute.

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Let's get cracking.

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Three, two, one.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

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And Johnny's off.

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Ooh.

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If Johnny's hand is just a millimetre off target,

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the whip will fall centimetres away from the egg.

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Don't let that egg beat you.

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Yes. He skimmed it. Yes.

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And he smashed it. Come on.

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But we're going to need a lot more cracking to trouble the record.

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-30 seconds.

-Halfway. We need to pick this up, Johnny. Come on.

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Johnny's working so hard but his whipping's wide of the mark.

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So close.

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Come on. This is not going well.

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Five, four, three...

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-Oh.

-..two, one.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Time.

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With 32 cracks of the whip but only one crack of an egg,

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Johnny's had a catastrophic first attempt.

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What happened? What went wrong?

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I think it's catching on the table at the front.

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OK. So it's something that we could maybe change up?

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-Yes.

-Yeah, all right. So the whip was catching the

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table before reaching the eggs.

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For attempt number two, Johnny's

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moved them right back to the edge.

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Will it make a difference?

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Three, two, one.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Go.

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Oh. Yes. Oh. No. Yes.

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Only his second whip, and Johnny

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obliterated that egg.

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Oh, come on, Johnny.

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It's a good start.

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Yes.

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Yes, three.

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This is much better but can he keep it up?

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Yes, we got four. Yes.

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-Whoa. That egg stood no chance.

-30 seconds.

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Halfway through, and Johnny's left a trail of annihilated eggshells.

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Oh, come on, Johnny. It's looking good.

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Yes. And another. Yes.

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And another.

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Yes, come on.

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Yes, come on.

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Oh, he's had a roll.

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An egg roll. Five in a row.

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Unbelievable.

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Come on. Yes.

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Oh. He's doing it for fun.

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-KLAXON BLARES

-Time.

-Yes.

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Put it there, Johnny.

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A truly cracking cabaret of

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world-class egg-whipping.

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Official adjudicator Mark checks the broken eggs.

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Only completely smashed eggs will count.

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Did Johnny break that target of ten?

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Today, he managed

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14 eggs. That's a brand-new Guinness World Record title.

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Put it there. Cracking work, Johnny.

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Johnny smashed it.

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Extraordinary scenes of EGGS-tremely EGGS-quisite,

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EGGS-ploding EGGS-citement.

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Sorry, I just couldn't keep them in any longer.

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I EGGS-pect we'll see you next time

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with more EGGS-cellent EGGS-ercises like these.

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Ahem, sorry.

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# Well, our competitors handled the pressure of the candles with

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# A very fine windy display

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# They huffed and they puffed and raided enough

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# To blow the other two away

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# It started badly for Johnny Strange because the eggs were

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# Just out of range but in the end he had the knack

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# Of making them go crack and who would have thought he could

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# Even do this with your belly?

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# But here come the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes. #

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And action.

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LAUGHTER

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Featuring some world-class blowing out of candles and a heroic man dangling from a helicopter by a bowl suctioned to his stomach. Also with whipping wonder Johnny Strange, who obliterates eggs with his fearsome two-metre-long bullwhip!


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