Episode 6 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

Say hello to the Big Wind-Up audience.

Look at them, so excited, and who can blame them?

They've got an hour of top quality entertainment ahead of them.

Yes, I'm talking hidden camera pranks,

I'm talking mind-blowing surprises,

and I'm talking big-time celebrities.

That's what makes this show beautiful.

# Wind me up, put me down

# Start me up and watch me go

# Cos it's easy once you know how it's done

# You can't stop now, it's already begun. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, good times are just around the corner,

and so are your hosts! It's Sam and Mark!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hurrah!

-Hurrah!

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Come with me.

Look at all these people! Yes, yes, come on!

All right, yes, all right, come on!

All right! Yes! ALL RIGHT!

Come here, you.

People of Britain, welcome to our Big Friday Wind-Up!

And that means one thing, folks, the weekend starts right here!

Yes, and we ought to warn you at home this show is going to be an assault

on all of your senses as we overload you with pranks, surprises and magic.

Ooh! Magic!

But don't worry, if it all gets too much we've got an ambulance

on standby and there's a medic in the house...

SHRIEKS

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Don't cheer him. Don't cheer him.

-It's a bit weird, that.

On today's show, we're going to be paying a visit to a member of this

audience's house, the only thing is, they don't know anything about it,

-and who knows what we might get up to?

-Indeed, and we've got

two guests on today's show who are guaranteed to make you go "wow."

We've got some crazy magic from Dynamo

and a live performance from Ronan Parke.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

First, let's bust a move and meet the people who make Wind-Up

the blast that it is.

That's right, audience, we're heading your way. Mic me up!

-Cheers!

-Thanks! Hoo-ah!

Nice audience, nice audience today.

Yeah, nice shirt, mate, like it, nice hair, good.

Making an effort, I like it. Lovely, lovely people.

All right, Sarah, how you doing?

LAUGHTER

-All right.

-You look a bit scared?

Ye-e-s.

Don't be. I have heard something today, though, which made me

sit up and take notice, I'm not going to lie to you.

Didn't you, when you were outside waiting to come into the studio,

you went into the toilets, but there was a mistake, wasn't there?

-Yes, there was.

-What did you do?

-Um, I went into the mens'.

-No!

LAUGHTER

-Classic misunderstanding. Was there anybody in there?

-Yes.

Right, a bit awkward, that. What did you say to him?

I thought he was in the wrong place so I just carried on coming in.

Did you, er, do what you needed to do?

No, I realised when the lids were up that I was in the wrong place!

Brilliant! That is pretty embarrassing, wouldn't you say?

-Yeah!

-Pretty embarrassing. Sam, have you got any more?

I knew I was in the right toilet, it was 'er all along.

OK, I would like to speak to you, Darren.

-Hello, how you doing, you all right, mate?

-I am.

I've heard on the Wind-Up grapevine that you can eat a poppadum

in under eight seconds.

-Can't be done!

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Apparently, yeah.

-Do you fancy showing us today?

-Have I got any choice?

Not really. We've actually got a poppadum, I don't know why,

but a member of the audience brought it. Cheers for that.

We'll give you eight seconds to eat this, are you up for the challenge?

-Sure, why not?

-OK, give him support, here we go. Right, there you go.

Your time starts now.

KLAXON

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wow! That was amazing and I can reveal that you did it

in seven seconds, which is a new world record. Personal best.

Thank you very much, that was awesome.

Mark, we've got a world record holder over here, beat that.

How can I beat that tremendous television? I don't know how I can.

I may be able to do it, though,

wi-i-i-th you, Tom. How you doing, mate, you all right?

Yeah. Ha-ha! Again, you look a bit scared.

Now, Tom, what's this I hear about your dad

and the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Explain.

He dresses up all the time and he goes out singing

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang songs, and it is really embarrassing.

I'll bet. Does he sometimes dress up as the child catcher as well?

-He always does.

-Oh, what you doing? Where is your dad today?

-He's at work.

-Is he? That's a shame because I would have loved to...

Oh, sorry. What's that? Sorry, Tom, we're just going to have to stop

for a second because I've just been told we've got some breaking news

and I think you'd better pay close attention.

And some news just in.

Tom, I'm afraid your dad has told you a little fib

because he's actually right there in the Wind-Up studio.

Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Tom's dad!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

AH-HA!

There are children here,

I can feel it in my bones. Ah-ha!

I have ice creams, and lollipops,

and it's all free today.

Ice creams, lollipops,

all free today! Ha-ha!

And what's this little specimen? Don't stand too close.

-Sorry, sorry.

-His sharp teeth will bite and fingers will nip.

-Can I have a sweet?

-Er, yes.

Dad! That's great stuff, in fact, a personal favourite of mine,

especially the nose. Tom, how does that make you feel?

-Embarrassed.

-Very embarrassed?

Don't worry, because today we're going to give your dad

a chance to redeem himself and try and win you loads of prizes.

Dad, you need to go and get ready, bit weird, and Tom, you need to come

with me, because it's time to play Dad On A Wheel! Come on!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Got a good feeling about this. Tom, are you ready to see your dad

-as you've never seen him before?

-Yes!

-All right!

In that case, everyone in the Wind-Up audience

please give it up for Dad On A Wheel!

All right, Dad, how are you feeling?

Oh, anxious!

LAUGHTER

OK, it looks like the child catcher haws been caught on our

wonderful wheel and on that wheel there are three gold sections.

If Dad lands on Dad, he will win himself a prize.

-That would be nice, Dad, wouldn't it?

-It will be!

-If Dad lands on Audience

he will win a prize for our entire studio audience!

CHEERING

And if Dad lands on Star, he'll win a prize for Tom.

Sorry, I can't stop laughing, he can't see anything!

Not so fast, Sam,

because Tom will need to answer a question correctly to win that.

-Basically, what we're saying is gold is good, yeah?

-Red, however,

is bad!

That's right, if Dad lands on red, he will come face to face with

THE FOAMINATOR!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, this week's Foaminator is the chimp!

CHIMP SHRIEKS

Come on over. You're looking scary.

Chimp, you know the score, if Dad lands on red,

you need to release a furious amount of foam right in his face.

Foam him like you've never foaminated anybody else before. Understood?

That's a yes.

Tom, if we can just stand here, get out of the line of fire.

-Are you ready?

-Yes!

-All right, in that case, here we go.

Loads of prizes, no big deal, come on, Sam...

TOGETHER: WIND UP THE WHEEL!

Here we go!

Scream if you want to go faster!

Where's it going to land?

Still going, still going! It's going to go... oh!

Oh, dear, it's landed on foam. Would you believe it?

Dad, that means you are about to get foamed by the Foaminator.

Chimpy, get yourself in position.

After three, I'm going to stand behind here, one, two, three, go!

CHEERING

OK, stop. Oh, it smells lovely. Come back over, Chimpy.

-How are you feeling, Dad?

-Er, wet?

-Funny, that! OK,

we've got two more spins, here we go with the second spin! Come on!

Whoa!

APPLAUSE

You were so close to the star prize,

but it means that you've landed on foam.

So, Foaminator, once again, get yourself in position.

After three. One, two, three!

OK, come back over, Chimpy. Dad, you look a right mess.

-I feel a right mess!

-We've got one more spin, let's make it a prize.

-Here we go!

-Come on!

Where's it going to land? Not another foam, surely not!

Oooh!

Over to you, Mark.

All right, good luck. This is the question.

Who is the ogre dad of Farkle, Fergus and Felicia?

-Shrek.

-YES!

Let's see what prize you've won, lets take a look!

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

A bicycle! Otherwise known as a bike! Well done, mate!

That means at the end of Dad On A Wheel,

Dad got foamed twice, but you just won your son a brand new bike.

-Whoa! Got to be happy with that.

-Dad, how are you feeling?

Wet, wet, wet!

You've been a fantastic sport, give it up for our dad and our Foaminator!

CHIMP SHRIEKS

Brilliant, well done, mate! Awesome. Tom and his dad will be back later

because they've won the right to play Win The Presenter,

which means they could win a really special prize, me or Sam,

-not as good as a bike!

-Agreed. Who will they be playing against?

It could be anyone in this audience here tonight.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

Keep watching, because not only will you find out who that person is

but you won't miss any of this great stuff either.

Prepare to be amazed, because Magnificent Man Of Magic Dynamo

is in the Wind-Up studio, and he's got some

pretty impressive tricks up his sleeve. Check this out.

Watch.

Watch...the sign, yeah?

CLICK!

CLICK!

Keep watching, cos there's more where that came from.

Keep watching if you want to find out

why there's a chimp on the loose in someone's bedroom!

As if all that wasn't enough,

we're going to be catching up with Ronan Parke

and he'll be performing live right here in the Wind-Up studio.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All that great stuff still to come, but now please give

a big Wind-Up welcome to one of the most amazing magicians

-you'll ever see. Dynamo!

-Yeah!

APPLAUSE

-Lovely to have you here.

-Lovely to have you here.

I've got to say, Mark and I have seen your show,

we're massive fans, and we genuinely, genuinely are starstruck.

-Thank you for coming on the show.

-Thanks for having me.

-Any time.

Seriously, come at any time. Now, first of all,

you're constantly doing tricks to people on the streets.

I'm sure people always ask you to do tricks but from now on,

do they get strange around you, are they suspicious?

Can you go shopping,

or do they think you're going to do magic on them?

It's quite funny.

Sometimes I'll just there eating,

just eating my dinner, but people look at me and say to me,

-"I expect something to happen."

-Like a fork to disappear or something.

-"I'm making this sandwich disappear by eating it."

-That's amazing.

If you haven't seen Dynamo before,

we can get him to bamboozle all of us in a minute.

Before that, let's take a look at him in action.

Put your glasses on your head.

Yeah.

See his eyes?

Watch. Watch.

Have you had a major?

Ready?

-ALL:

-Whoa! Oh!

Wait, wait, wait. He changed my album cover.

He took the glasses off my eyes in the album cover.

He moved them up. You could see my eyes.

THEY CHATTER IN DISBELIEF

-Amazing.

-The most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

When that went out on TV,

me and my brother a few days after were in a record shop.

He picked up the album and went, "Look at this."

Nothing happened. Nothing.

-So, Dynamo, how and why did you get into magic?

-It was my grandpa

who got me into it. When I first started, it wasn't to do magic.

I was getting picked on by two guys at school.

They'd put me in a bin and throw me down the hill.

It wasn't that much fun.

My grandpa showed me a way of taking away their strength.

It's better if I show you rather than talk about it.

-Who's the strongest?

-Ooh...

Do you think it's Mark or do you think it's Sam?

-AUDIENCE:

-Sam!

Cheers, guys. It's all right, I'll watch.

Hang on, I'm going to get embarrassed now.

-Cheers.

-Stand up. I weigh, like, eight stone.

I don't weigh that much so you should be able to lift me.

-Lift me up as high as you can. You can bend if you need to.

-OK. Now?

Yeah.

-So, my feet are off the ground, right?

-Yeah.

-So it's quite clear that Sam can lift me, yeah?

-OK.

-Oh, no.

-I want you to get ready to lift me.

-OK.

-In the same way, but don't lift me yet, just look at me.

I'm going to try and take away your strength.

MARK LAUGHS

Just lift me again.

Oh, my God.

This is ridiculous!

That's amazing. Wow!

APPLAUSE

That's amazing, wow!

You see that...

What I'm loving about this is I've seen you do that trick

on the show. You see it at home, going, "No, it can't be true."

-And then, wow. Trust me, I work out.

-He does.

Look at his guns. Cheers, Dynamo.

So, how did you first get discovered, then?

I'd been performing since I was 11 years old.

I used to make YouTube clips and put them online.

From getting hundreds of views, I got hundreds of thousands.

How much practice have you put in?

The way you are with cards, it must be hours of practice.

I think over the last 15 years,

-I probably put about 10,000 hours in.

-Wow.

That's why we're pretty average presenters.

-I think you're pretty good.

-Bless you. You're too kind.

On the first episode,

we saw you do a big trick where you walked on the River Thames.

Are you into doing the big tricks?

David Blaine's done a lot of things where he's been frozen,

and sat in a box, which, you know,

that's not magic, really,

-but are you into doing stuff like that?

-Um...I'm not really...

bothered about doing the endurance type of stunts that David does.

They're amazing, but, you know, like, I just think

it's not the path I want to take.

But walking across the River Thames was something

I'd been thinking about for...

-since I was a little boy.

-Right.

-Weird, I know.

But, yeah, it took me about five or six years to really think,

"I can actually do this."

And then 2011 was the year that I pulled it off.

It was the scariest thing I'd ever done,

but it definitely has left me a bit of a legacy.

The fact you thought about it when you were younger wasn't weird.

-It was that you can do it.

-Exactly.

-That's weird.

Have you got anything else that you can show us?

Yeah, let's do this.

Lovely.

The way he spins the cards he just... Oh!

Even that's amazing.

-OK.

-All right.

-Regular cards?

-Yes.

-All different?

-Yes, I'd say so.

-Are they all different?

-Yes!

-I want both of you to choose a card.

-OK.

-OK, erm...

-One for you.

-I'll have this.

-I'm going to turn away, so I can't see the monitors.

-OK.

-Remember the cards and show them to the audience.

-OK.

-OK.

-Cool.

-Ready?

-Got it.

-Yes.

-All right, I'll take yours first.

Lovely.

-And then your card.

-OK.

-Halfway down. I'll shuffle them.

-That's fair, right?

-Good shuffle.

-I'll do yours first.

-OK.

Boom.

Wahoo!

Four of clubs.

APPLAUSE That is amazing!

So we've got the four of clubs.

I'm going to place that here. I'll do yours with one hand.

What was the card?

Not the four of clubs, because it's in my mouth.

Oh, what? Amazing.

-That's amazing!

-Oh, wow, that was ridiculous.

-Can I show you one more?

-Yes!

-Please!

Just take a card out.

Right, I'm going for this one.

Just in case you forget it, ten of spades.

-It's the ten of spades, by the way.

-That's amazing.

What I'll do, I'll take the ten, yeah?

I'll put it about halfway down, I'm going to put them on the floor.

-You can see the cards, right?

-Yep.

SAM YELPS

Shut up, shut up!

APPLAUSE

-Wow!

-That is incredible. I don't know what to say

other than amazing. Give it up for magician impossible, Dynamo!

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

OK, stay tuned, because we might set Dynamo loose

into this studio audience.

He might make you all disappear, so stay on your seats!

Ronan Parke will perform live,

and we wind someone up good and proper by turning up

-uninvited at their house.

-This show is all about that.

If you haven't seen it before, where have you been?

Welcome to the weekend!

Your dad isn't actually at the office today.

The Foaminator!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Hello!

Yeah!

Start the clock! Start the clock!

-Are you all right, Dad?

-Yep!

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Still to come on today's show, we'll be playing Win The Presenter,

where two families could win me or Mark and take us home.

-After that, it's up to them what they do with us.

-So far,

-we've discovered that a lot of you can be very cruel.

-Very cruel.

We found our first family

when we stuck embarrassing dad Peter on a wheel.

We gave him a good spin and he ended up getting foamed twice

by the Foaminator. He did win a bike for his son.

Hey, can't be bad.

-Peter, how are you feeling now?

-Embarrassed. Humbled. Humiliated.

LAUGHTER

-But at least you're a bit drier.

-Exactly.

Now it's time to find our second family.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big hand for the Finger of Fun.

APPLAUSE

Whoa, yeah, oh, yeah!

Did my back in doing that.

Hello, my fingerey friend. You know the score.

We need you to choose someone that loves having fun.

Finger of Fun, do what you ought to.

-Find us a mum and also a daughter.

-All right!

-AUDIENCE:

-Wooh!

# Who's it going to be? #

Ey up, mam, not you.

Who's it going to be?

Not you, not you, not you!

Oh...might be you...

He's got his eye on someone.

Yes!

The finger has indeed spoken. What are your names?

I'm Emily, and yeah, that's my mum.

-And what's your name, Mum?

-Kerry.

LAUGHTER

Ladies, get yourselves down here because it's time to have some fun.

It's time for the Prize Surprise!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lovely ladies, have you any idea

-why we've brought you down here?

-My dad.

-Your dad?

Why are you saying it like that? Why are you saying it so cross?

He just looks evil.

I think it's about time that we owned up to something.

A few weeks ago, Emily got in touch, so we invited her, her mum

and her sister to meet us at Television Centre

and do a bit of filming for us.

Yeah, you see, they thought they were dishing the dirt on Dad,

but it was all just a cover story -

a classic wind-up switcheroo.

-What do you make of that, ladies?

-It's not right.

-How are you, Mum? Are you all right?

-Not really.

There's a silent rage happening.

The truth was, we just wanted them out of the house

so we could send round a good friend of ours, Chimpy.

-Ooh-ooh-aah-aah!

-All right, Chimpy?

-All right, mate?

-Hey, Kerry, has this come as a bit of a shock to you?

-Yeah!

Now, let me tell you, he had a right time.

You won't believe what he got up to.

You will - you're about to see it!

We will be asking you questions

about what Chimpy got up to at your house

and you'll get a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash

-for every correct answer.

-Before we start,

we need to drop a bombshell - while Chimpy was in your house,

-you'll never guess who he was hanging out with.

-It was my dad, wasn't it?

It was indeed. It was indeed your dad.

Not only did your dad let Chimpy into the house,

but he was the person that stitched you up and organised the whole thing.

-There he is, Mr Smug - Paul.

-How you doing, Paul?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-No dinner.

-Oh! No dinner! Awww.

-You'll be sorry when we get home.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Let's get back to those prizes.

It's time to get serious and enter gameplay mode.

JINGLE PLAYS

Question one. While Chimpy and Dad were hanging out,

they decided to have a fancy dress party.

Why not? But what item of clothing did they both end up wearing?

A - tuxedos, B - Hawaiian shirts

or C - super slinky, tight-fitting gym wear.

-Obviously Hawaiian shirts.

-You're saying the Hawaiian shirts.

OK, let's see if you're right.

You're looking good, Chimp.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Well done, guys. You got it right.

Which means you get yourselves a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash.

It's getting more surreal. They headed for the kitchen,

as Chimpy fancies himself as a bit of a Jamie Oliver.

He had a look through some of your family's recipes,

but what did they end up making?

Was it A - a roast dinner, yummy-yummy,

B - fried calamari, yucky-yucky,

or C - cupcakes, take 'em or leave 'em?

-Cupcakes.

-Is that what you're going for?

What was the choices?

It was roast dinner, fried calamari or cupcakes.

-Cupcakes.

-It's cupcakes.

Cupcakes. Let's see if you're right.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Awww, nice!

-That means you get yourselves another prize.

-Weird.

Congratulations. Mum, whilst noseying around your bedroom,

Chimpy and Dad discovered a large suitcase

filled with a few handbags,

but what we want to know is how many handbags

did Chimp and Dad find in that suitcase?

Did they find A - seven, B - 17 or C - 70?

-17.

-Straight in there. You know your handbags. You're both saying 17?

-Yeah.

-Let's see.

Well, I make that 17, Chimp.

CHEERING

It was 17. Another prize from the Wind-Up prize stash!

You're doing very well.

All right. Now, Emily, one thing that you may not know about Chimpy

-is that he loves a boogie.

-That monkey's got sweet moves.

He can get down with his bad self. He ended up having a boogie

with your dad to one of your favourite songs.

To win another prize, what song was it?

Was it A - One Direction, What Makes You Beautiful,

was it B - Lady Gaga, Bad Romance, or was it C - Dappy, No Regrets?

It's got to be One Direction.

Really? You like One Direction?

-I love them. I'm obsessed.

-Really?

Let's see if you're right. I hope so.

# If only you saw what I could see

# You'd understand why I want you so desperately

# Right now, I'm looking at you and I can't believe

# You don't know You don't you're beautiful

# That's what makes you beautiful. #

CHEERING

You are a big fan, aren't you? There's about 300 posters there.

-Amazing.

-Who's your favourite in One Direction?

-Harry.

Straight in there.

You've won four prizes from the Wind-Up prize stash.

-Congratulations.

-Very good.

We haven't finished with you just yet

because you've also won the right to play Win The Presenter,

and instead of a chimp, you might end up with Sam or me.

I don't know which one's worse.

I love your face! It's so mad!

I don't want to be you, Dad, when you get home.

That is coming soon, along with all this monkey business.

APPLAUSE

Prepare to be amazed once again

because there's more magic like this from Dynamo in just a few seconds!

Right, watch this.

AMAZED GASPS

Pretty incredible stuff, huh? Well, there's more where that came from.

We've got our very own magic trick here on Wind-Up -

a pair of underpants that make you react like this!

And the incredible Ronan Parke will be performing live

right here in the Wind-Up studio.

We really do spoil you people.

# If I could fall

# Into the sky

# Do you think time

# Would pass me by?

# Cos you know I'd walk 1,000 miles

# If I could just see you tonight. #

CHEERING

OK, not long before we discover who is up for grabs in Win The Presenter.

Before that, we've got time to completely freak out someone

in our audience and because I'm such a fan,

I want to see him do it. It's Dynamo!

CHEERING

All right, Dynamo, good to see you again.

Dynamo, a lot of magicians tend to do tricks

on a big stage with lots of light, loads of music, usually a mullet.

Are you... Do you like doing that or do you like being on the street

-and getting people right in the face?

-I just like being with the people.

I could be on stage, on the street, in this studio, like now.

-Shall we try something with these guys?

-Why not? Let's do it!

-Do you want to hold that?

-Yes.

-Look after the package.

I will look after it, I promise.

I'm going to try something using all of you.

We're going to create a human deck of playing cards.

So, I want all of you to think of a card right now.

-Has everyone got a card?

-AUDIENCE: Yes.

The next thing we need to do is choose one card at random.

I'll throw this package over my shoulder

and I want one of you to catch it.

Yeah? Are you ready?

-Does somebody have the package?

-They do.

People might think I know this person

and that I could see through the back of my head

and I've got really good aim.

I want whoever's got the package to throw it to somebody else.

-Have you done that?

-Yeah, someone's got it.

-Someone's got it?

-Yeah.

-Do you want to stick or choose somebody else?

-Let's stick.

All right, whoever's got the package, hold it up.

Have you got a card in mind?

Perfect. Give her a round of applause.

Come on down.

That was a good catch.

-What's your name?

-Georgia.

-Georgia.

-Hello, Georgia. How are you?

-Good, thank you.

Open the package and hand me what's inside.

-It's well sealed, you've got to...

-She's in.

Perfect. We've got a pack of cards.

Right, now, early on today,

I did the same thing with this pack of cards.

I chose one card at random and I turned that card upside down.

You've been thinking of a card this entire time.

-For the first time, name it out loud.

-Ten of clubs.

The ten of clubs.

I'll do this really slowly.

There's one card upside down. What was your card?

Ten of clubs.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, my goodness!

-What do you make of that?

-Awesome.

-Indeed.

That is amazing. You have been an incredible guest.

You've been an incredible competitor.

Give it up for Dynamo and Georgia, everybody!

CHEERING

That's amazing. How on earth does he do that?

Still to come, we've got two very special treats for you,

more Win The Presenter madness and a performance from Ronan Parke.

Here he is, Ronan Parke!

CHEERING

-Welcome to Wind-Up, mate. Enjoying yourself?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

We've had loads of questions. Is it OK if you answer a few?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic. Sam, over to you, mate.

First one is from Hannah. Where's Hannah?

She's down here. OK, let's go over to you.

Hello, sorry, uncross your legs, here we go.

Hannah, stand up. So, what's your question for Ronan?

How has your life changed

-since being on Britain's Got Talent?

-Good question.

Um, it's changed a lot.

Like, just from going to sing at school

to, like, being recognised a lot

and performing at places people could only dream of.

It's changed a lot.

Is that all right, Hannah? Excellent. OK.

Next up we have Izzie and Lexi. How are you, girls?

-You all right? BOTH:

-Yes.

-What's your question for Ronan?

-BOTH:

-Who would you rather compare yourself to?

-Robbie Williams or Justin Bieber?

-What a question.

-And beautifully executed.

-And it was in stereo.

All right. So, Justin Bieber or Robbie Williams?

Um, I think I'd have to say Justin Bieber

because he's a teenager and he's kind of a teen sensation, so...

-All right. Anyone else?

-Next up we've got Laura.

Where's Laura? Right here. OK.

Good probing question, here we go, Laura.

-What's your question for Ronan?

-Do you like sausage rolls?

It's a good question.

-It's a good question.

-It's like being on Parky.

Do you like sausage rolls?

-I really like sausage rolls.

-Excellent.

I've got an important question. Ronan, hot or cold sausage rolls?

-Both.

-Both!

-Both!

At the same time, it's like a party in the mouth, I like it.

Thank you. Where's Emily? Down at the front, here we go.

-Come on, Sam, keep up.

-Sorry.

I'm not as fit as I used to be. Hi, Emily.

What's your question for Ronan?

-Who's your biggest celebrity role model?

-Good one.

Um, I'd have to say Lady Gaga because she's very original

and she creates amazing songs.

Would you wear any outfits similar to Lady Gaga?

Yeah, I think I'm going to appear in a meat suit.

Yeah, yeah, you heard it here first on Wind-Up.

-Meat suit, Ronan Parke.

-Maybe it could be a sausage roll suit.

You know? Thank you very much, OK.

-Next up we've got Zoe, where's Zoe? Oh, right at the end!

-Oh, Sam!

It's like doing the marathon.

Here we go, it's like I'm running the marathon.

OK, here we go. Zoe, are you all right? Can I sit on your knee?

What's your question for Ronan?

Now that you're famous,

-how much time do you get with your family?

-Good question.

I get a lot of time with my family.

My mum's here today and she comes with me everywhere I go, really.

I don't get to see my dad and my brother as much, but...yeah,

-I still get to see them.

-Do they keep you grounded?

-Yeah.

Cos it's a bit of a whirlwind. I bet they're dead proud of you.

-Fantastic. Great question.

-Thank you very much.

Thank you very much, audience.

APPLAUSE

They were great. Thank you very much for answering those.

We'll let you get ready for your performance now. What you singing?

-A Thousand Miles.

-I love that song, really looking forward to that.

You'll be able to see Ronan in action

as soon as somebody has won either me or Sam.

Yes, it's that time again, it's Win The Presenter.

When I first heard about Win The Presenter,

I thought it was another one of their wind-ups.

I really can't believe they're giving themselves away.

Winning a presenter is off the chain,

but that's Sam and Mark. Those boys are absolute legends.

I just can't believe they're doing it. Crazy.

-Who would I rather win, Sam or Mark?

-You could have both.

Or is that a bit greedy?

It would be better if it was Ant and Dec though, right?

I heard it's cos they didn't have any money for a real prize.

-I'd rather win a holiday, though.

-Mmm.

Welcome to Win The Presenter!

Let's find out which presenter they're playing for today.

Mark Rhodes!

Which means it's time to meet your host, it's Sam Nixon.

Yes, welcome to Win The Presenter, the part of the show

where two families go head to head to win Mr Mark Rhodes.

One of these families could get revenge

for getting wound up earlier in the show

by not only taking Mark home with them,

but as a little bonus,

they'll have the right to do with him whatever they want.

-Isn't that right, Mark?

-I heard you the first time.

OK, let's meet the families who are fighting over you, Mark.

-Peter, I expect you want to get a bit of revenge?

-Oh, yes.

We did put you on a wheel earlier.

To be fair, I was the one who was spinning him.

-How are you feeling after being spun around?

-Oh, fine, actually.

-It wasn't so bad.

-OK. That's good.

Tom, would you like to introduce the rest of the team for us?

-This is my dad Pete, my cousin Alex and my mum Jo.

-Excellent.

Give it up for the Tissier-Beavan family.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

To get your hands on Mark,

you are going to have to beat the Rackhams.

Paul, have you been given a hard time after we wound up your family?

-Only a little, but I'll handle it.

-Bless you.

Could you reintroduce the gang for us?

This is Emily, Bethany, and my wife Kerry.

Give it up for the Rackhams.

OK, families, don't forget if you win Mark then his fate is in your hands.

Take a look at what our last family got up to

when they won the presenter.

-Hello.

-Hi!

-How are you?

-We're good, how are you?

-Good, thank you.

-You're just in time for lunch.

-Brilliant, I'm hungry.

-You're making it.

-Great. Come on, then.

Here's the kitchen, here's your hat,

there's the cooker, get on with lunch.

-Put your hat on!

-OK, all right.

Oooh.

Stick some noodles in that, you'd be laughing.

Sydney, there you go. No worries.

So, families, one of you will be lucky enough

to get your hands on Mark.

I hope that's given you an idea of what to do with him.

Back to me in the studio.

Tissier-Beavans, any jobs you'd get Mark to do around the house?

We've got the house to decorate at the moment

so everything needs to be stripped out,

so we're looking forward to this.

That's good, get him to do all the decorating!

-What about the Rackhams?

-The garden needs sorting out.

Plenty of cups of tea.

Cooking the tea, doing the gardening, excellent. Sounds good.

It is the best of three rounds

so let's kick things off with Round One.

It's time for The Big Question.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For today's big question, we are going back in time.

A time when Mark was at school and looked like this.

-Oh, no.

-Wow! Oh, no!

Oh, no!

What a funny-looking child.

Now, families, I am now going to read three statements

-from one of Mark's old school reports.

-What?

All you need to do is guess which one of them is not genuine.

Is it statement one?

"Mark is a joy to teach and a credit to his parents.

"He has a wonderful sense of humour, and is well-liked

"and respected by all of the children."

-Sounds like me.

-Or is it statement two that is made up?

"If Mark concentrated more on his work and less on showing off

"to the girls in his class, I'm sure his marks would improve."

-Also sounds like you, Mark.

-It does.

Is it statement three that can't be trusted?

"Mark has enjoyed using the cassette recorder

"to listen to a variety of sounds and rhythms.

"He makes a good response to music in folk dancing." OK.

Families, write down your answers now.

Which one of those school report statements is not real?

Is it number one, two or three? You've both done it.

Tissier-Beavans, let's reveal your answer.

-Two.

-You've gone with number two.

Let's go to the Rackhams, what did you reckon?

-Number one.

-Number one.

I can reveal that the statement that was false was...

..statement two.

The Tissier-Beavans win that point. Yes.

It was statement two, which was,

"If Mark concentrated more on his work and less on showing off

"to the girls in his class, I'm sure his marks would improve."

So, congratulations, Tissier-Beavans, you get that point.

It was true that Mark was a joy to teach,

and it was also true that Mark made a good response

to music in folk dancing.

So, I reckon, I want to see Mark do a bit of folk dancing right now.

If you don't do it, I'll show something else from your past.

-Audience, we want to see this, yeah?

-I'll do it.

-AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

Mark, step forward to the front of the stage.

What is folk dancing?

You'll find out when you hear the music. Stop there.

Let's cue the music!

FOLK MUSIC PLAYS

Once again he's making a good response

to the music in folk dancing.

Right, stop it, sit back down, Mark. Sit down.

Give him a round of applause.

APPLAUSE

Well done, Mark, although that was still pretty rubbish

so we are going to show something else.

-No!

-Let's see it. Yes, Mark, this is one of your mathematic text books.

Here we go. I've got it right here.

Obviously not a lot of maths was done this day.

It actually says, "Helen is gorgeous."

And then in brackets it says, "I think that's how you spell it."

Then on the other page it says,

"Helen Shaw," Helen's been crossed out

with two arrows to her name saying, "I hate her."

What happened, Mark?

-I was having a bad day.

-Yeah, looks it. And also, whilst we're at it,

Mark prides himself on being a good sportsman.

-You're naturally good at any sport, aren't you, Mark?

-Yes.

You're also very good at the "backward throw."

LAUGHTER

But it says here, "I participated" - it doesn't say where he came!

-I came first!

-OK, right.

Enough of that, anyway, it's now time for Round Two, Celebrity Friends.

Like all the best game shows,

our second round involves a celebrity and a very large cake.

Here it is. WHOOPING

And you'll never guess what Mark's done,

he's only gone and hidden one of his celebrity friends

-right inside that cake. Mark, what are you like?!

-Sorry.

Families, all you need to do is guess the identity of that celebrity.

You'll take it in turns to ask Mark a question, but he can only answer

by saying yes or no.

Now, if you can't think of a question or you take too long to think of one

I'll be passing it on to the other family.

The first family to guess the identity

-will win the round. Do you both understand?

-Yes.

OK, we tossed a coin backstage, which told us that

the Rackhams are going to go first. Rackhams - ask away.

-Are you male?

-Yes.

-Are you a singer?

-No.

-Are you a sports personality?

-No.

Do you run a talent show?

No.

-Are you a judge on a talent show?

-No.

-Are you under 30?

-No.

-Are you a radio star?

-No.

Lot of noes here.

-Are you a dancer?

-No.

-Is he a guitar player?

-Is he a guitar player?

-No.

Maybe he has a certain skill, this person.

Are you a magician?

-No.

-Are you a chef?

-Yes.

-Oh...Jamie Oliver!

-No.

-Gordon Ramsay?

-Oooh...maybe.

-Interesting!

A lot of noes there. A lot of noes.

OK, so you're saying that Mark has hidden

Gordon Ramsay inside the cake. Interesting.

The Rackhams, it's time to find our cake-covered celeb.

Please reveal yourself!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right! Gordon... Ramsay... Done!

It was indeed Gordon Ramsay.

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello and goodbye to Gordon Ramsay!

WHOOPING

-All right, am I done...?

-OK...

SAM AND MARK LAUGH

OK, so after the second round it means it's 1-1.

Next up, we put the spotlight back on Mark,

and his underpants. Mark, you need to go and get yourself ready -

because it's time for Presenter Under Pressure.

Gordon, come and say hello again! CHEERING

Now, he may not have the X Factor,

but in this round Mark does have the Y-Front Factor.

It's the part of the show which Mark hates, but we love,

and that's because he's got to wear...The Underpants of Chaos!

I will be asking Mark a number of questions

about one of his favourite subjects - maths.

However, every time he answers a question incorrectly

or takes too long,

I will be sending a shock right through those pants, just like this.

Aaargh!

They're working.

OK, families - all you have to do is guess how many questions out of ten

you think Mark will correctly be able to answer.

He'll have three seconds to answer each question, but remember -

he is under extreme pressure, and that may turn his brain into mush.

Families, you have ten seconds to write down your answers.

-Mark - maths is one of your strong points.

-It is, but...three seconds?

OK, I might be a bit lenient on some of the questions. Maybe.

Or will I?! Who knows. OK, time's up, guys.

You need to write down your answers.

Rackhams, written down your answers? Tissier-Beavans...?

Excellent. Now, could I have some overly tense music

and some dramatic lighting, please?

OK, Mark, good luck. Your ten maths questions start now.

What is the square root of 81?

-Nine.

-Correct!

Take the Queen's age,

-and add it to the number of members in The Wanted.

-87?

No, incorrect - it was 90.

Aaargh!

What is pi to four decimal places?

Er...3.15...?

-Incorrect.

-Aaargh!

It was close. 3.1415.

Question four. What is 17 multiplied by 4?

-Er...68.

-Correct! Well done.

Question five. Tom Cruise's height in centimetres minus Cheryl Cole's age.

-You are 'avin' a laugh.

-Have a guess.

-Er...162?

-Incorrect...

..it's 144. Question six.

What is 72 divided by 6?

Erm...11?

Time's up. Oh, you were close...

-Aaargh!

-Ah, there we go.

I thought it wasn't working for a second.

It was actually 12. Question seven...

Take the number of members in The Saturdays,

multiply it by the number of members in JLS,

-and take away the number of members in Jedward.

-23!

-Incorrect!

-Aaargh!

18, Mark. 18.

-Question eight. What is 3 plus 4?

-7.

-Correct.

Question nine. What is 20 multiplied by 0.2?

-Eh?

-Time's up...

It was 4. Final question.

What number do you get

if you take the number of children David Beckham has

and add it to Madonna's age?

-Er..60?

-Incorrect, sorry.

You were close... It was 57. So...

Round of applause, I think he did quite well then.

So...

After your ten questions, Mark, you didn't do that well, you got three.

But the remaining question is, how did our families do?

Tissier-Beavans, how many did you think Mark would get?

Three! Dead on the money, all right.

-Rackhams...?

-We had faith.

You said six, which means the Tissier-Beavans got it right,

and you win Mark! Congratulations!

APPLAUSE

Well done. Off you go to your family. The Rackhams, commiserations...

Have you enjoyed yourselves?

-Yes, we have.

-Are you going to treat Dad mean when you get him home?

Be nice to him! Be nice to him.

OK, you've been a cracking family, give it up for the Rackhams!

Are you going to get him on that decorating?

-We could do something worse.

-OK, get in position, guys.

All right. That is pretty much the end of the show.

A big thank you to all the stars on today's show, the Tissier-Beavans...

APPLAUSE

Our runners-up, the Rackham family, thank you very much, guys.

All that's left for me to say is do with Mark what you wish,

-just make sure he's back here for the next show. See you later!

-Bye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right now, though, to play us out -

it's Ronan Parke, with A Thousand Miles.

# Making my way downtown

# Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound

# Staring blankly ahead, just making my way

# Making a way through the crowd

# And I need you

# And I miss you

# And now I wonder

# If I could fall into the sky

# Do you think time would pass me by?

# Cos you know I'd walk a thousand miles

# If I could just see you

# Tonight

# And I, I

# Don't want to let you know, I, I

# Drown in your memory, I, I

# Don't want to let this go, I, I don't

# It's always times like these when I think of you

# And I wonder if you ever think of me

# Cos everything's so wrong, and I don't belong

# Living in your precious memories

# Cos I'll need you

# And I'll miss you

# And now I wonder

# If I could fall into the sky

# Do you think time would pass us by?

# Cos you know I'd walk a thousand miles

# If I could just see you

# If I could fall into the sky

# Do you think time would pass me by?

# Cos you know I'd walk a thousand miles

# If I could just see you

# If I could just hold you

# Tonight. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

They are...

They're one of the biggest boy bands on the planet!

They are...

And they're on next week's show!

Bye for now!