The Tide Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

'Why is this woman looking worried?'

'What?! Who dressed these two?

'And what will happen when this boy

'sees what's about to drop on his head?

'Welcome to the show where no-one is safe.

'It's Sam And Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up!'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

'Wowzers! It's Sam and Mark!'

BOTH: Welcome to the weekend!

-Woo! Good audience.

-Oh, yeah.

Good audience, and do we have a show for you?

In a moment, two members of our studio audience will get a shock

when we start TOYing with their emotions.

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

It will be payback time for the UK's most embarrassing parents

in the School of Shame.

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

And find out what happened when we took on Paralympian Kelly Gallagher

and Olympian Katharine Merry in Northern Ireland

for a game of Friday Face-Off.

What's your name, buddy?

-Les.

-Les?

-Aye.

OK. Do you fancy running 100 metres today with us?

No.

THEY LAUGH

-He was a good one.

-He was a very good one.

And on top of all that, Iain Stirling will be having a go

on the Wind-up Wheel, and we've got music from The Tide!

CHEERING

But right now, remember, on this show, no-one is safe.

That's right. We know every one of you like the back of our hands.

For example,

Alex, you've got the world's weirdest double-jointed thumb.

Show us.

BOTH: Ah!

It bends right back.

-Back and everything!

-Oh, weird.

Courtney, you can say the alphabet backwards really quickly.

Let's hear it, Courtney!

Z, Y, X, W, V,

U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M,

L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, A.

-That was really fast!

-Very good!

-Really fast.

APPLAUSE

And Catherine, you can pat your head,

rub your tummy AND hula hoop at the same time!

Come on, then, show us.

# I'm spinning around

# Move out of my way

-# I know you're feelin' me... #

-That is brilliant!

That's great! Give it up for yourselves, the Wind-Up audience!

APPLAUSE

All right. But now, does anyone recognise this bedroom?

Now, that looks just like any old bedroom,

-doesn't it?

-It does, yeah.

Yeah, but let's just take a little closer look

and see what's lurking in the corner.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

And there's more.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

Please, please don't show any more.

For the love of all that's sacred, please don't show any more.

All right, all right. Don't worry, don't worry. Listen.

Whose dolls are these? Raise your hand.

Yeah, we know they're yours, Lola.

Stay right there, we're coming to you!

Hello. How are you?

-Good, thank you.

-It's lovely to see you.

Now, why do you have all of these porcelain dolls?

I just like 'em.

LAUGHTER

You like 'em? That's fair enough.

So what's the big attraction about porcelain dolls?

They wear nice clothes.

They do wear nice clothes.

I'm loving this coat. It's a lovely winter coat.

Kitted out really nicely.

Do you have a particular favourite, at all?

-That one.

-That one?

-Really?

That Mum said she smashed.

Oh, really? Is that true, Mum?

LAUGHTER

So, this is Clara, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Hi, Clara.

Welcome to big Friday Wind-Up.

Hello! Now, we also hear that you and your mum, Catherine, here,

you're very big fans of soaps, is that right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Which ones do you like?

-Hollyoaks.

-Hollyoaks...

-Coronation Street, EastEnders.

We like them all, really.

-All of them?

-Nice.

-Oh, OK.

Hey, guys, hey, guys,

wouldn't it be funny if Clara got a role

on some of the nation's favourite soaps?

-Wouldn't that be funny?

-It would be funny.

It would be good, wouldn't it?

Well, she has! Take a look at this.

MUSIC: CORONATION STREET THEME

Oh, hello.

Charming.

MUSIC: EMMERDALE THEME

Hey, Clara, how you doing?

I haven't seen you in ages!

LAUGHTER

Nice to speak to you(!)

What do you think about that?

That was really good!

LAUGHTER

Well, we think you two deserve to win some prizes.

So we've come up with a game that combines at your love of soaps

and your love of porcelain dolls.

So, come with us, as we play Dollyoaks.

Come on!

Welcome to our very own soap opera.

And, like every good soap, it comes with a shocking twist.

And the shocking twist is

the characters are played by dolls.

MUSIC: EASTENDERS THEME

Under each of these lampshades

are dolls dressed as the nation's favourite soap characters.

You guys will see a picture puzzle appear on each TV screen

that should lead you to the name of that character.

You'll have 20 seconds to decide who you think that is.

And for every one you get right,

you will win a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash.

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

All right. Your 20 seconds starts...

now.

-Say what you see.

-Say what you see.

-Jug.

-Yeah, what's it doing?

-Pouring.

-Another word for pouring.

What's it doing to the cup? It's...?

Filling.

Mitt...

Shell...

-Write something down.

-Phil Mitchell?

Oh, yeah!

LAUGHTER

All right, so you're going for Phil Mitchell?

-OK.

-All right.

You said Phil Mitchell.

And you were right!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: EASTENDERS THEME

A good start. All right, here you go.

-There you go, Mum.

-You know how the game works, now, OK?

So here we go again. Best of luck.

20 seconds. Starting from...

now.

Tray... Water.

-Another word for water.

-Tracy...

Beaker! No.

Tracy...

-Choc... Bar...

-Barlow.

-Tracy Barlow!

-Write it down. Write something down.

-Is that what you think?

-It might not be.

-Do it again, Lola. Do you think?

Tray...cy

Bar...low. Yeah.

All right. You're going for Tracy Barlow.

Not going to lie,

the pen and pad is redundant, it really is.

LAUGHTER

-Save a bit of cash, eh?

-Yeah, yeah.

All right. So you've said Tracy Barlow.

It's Tracy Barlow!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: CORONATION STREET THEME

Well done! Coronation Street.

All right, 20 seconds, best of luck.

Time starts...

now.

-Cane.

-Cane...

-Di...Cain Dingle.

-Eh?

-Yeah.

-Cain Dingle, yeah.

-Yeah?

Yeah, we'll go for Cain Dingle.

That's your final answer?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-All right.

We're going to just go for it.

Going for Cain Dingle?

The answer...

is Cain Dingle!

Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: EMMERDALE THEME

20 seconds.

Best of luck.

-What we got?

-Eye...

-Wall.

-Wall.

What's he doing?

Eye lean.

Grin shore?

Eileen Grimshaw!

-Oh, interesting!

-But is it right?

You going for Eileen Grimshaw?

And the answer

is Eileen Grimshaw!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: CORONATION STREET THEME

You are doing so well.

So well. That's four prizes so far.

Can we make it a full house?

I've got a good feeling about this, guys.

Final one. 20 seconds starts now.

What we got?

-Mum.

-Hair.

Mum, can...

Good, good. I like it.

Keep going. Keep talking.

Mum bean... Mum can.

Chicken.

-Mum can chicken.

-Mum can chicken!

We need four words for you before 20 seconds are up.

-Chick.

-Mum. Can. Chick.

-Hair?

BOTH: Mum can chick hair!

LAUGHTER

-Famous character.

-I've not seen her.

-I think she's in EastEnders.

Mum can chick hair.

Not going to lie, I don't feel good about this one.

No, I don't think it's that.

OK. You said mum... I don't even remember what you said.

It's wrong, cos it's

-Martin Fowler!

-MUSIC: EASTENDERS THEME

Of course it is!

Not mum can chick hair.

What's another name for mum?

-Ma.

-That's a tin.

Oh!

-And then...

-Fowl.

-Fowl.

-Granted, it's getting vague...

-And her.

It's vague. It's vague.

Time's up, but don't worry, you've done very well there.

You've won four prizes from the Wind-Up prize stash.

Very good.

Seriously, that's impressive.

-It's very impressive. That was difficult.

-Wow.

But now, there is a chance for you guys to win tonight's star prize.

A trip to the Emmerdale set!

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

Oh, yeah! They like that. They like that.

All you have to do is tell us which Coronation Street character

is represented by our biggest puzzle yet.

Over we go.

MUSIC: CORONATION STREET THEME

Now, no help from the audience, please.

Quiet in the studio.

The best of luck, guys. You've got 20 seconds again.

This is for the star prize,

That trip to the Emmerdale set.

-Good luck.

-Your time starts now.

What have we got?

-Goat...

-What's another name for a goat?

-Kid.

Sheep?

No.

Another word for a goat is not sheep.

-Kid?

-No, not kid.

What... Not Brian...

-Billy.

-Billy...

-Billy.

-May...

BUZZER

Oh, no!

-You didn't get it.

-You didn't get it, unfortunately.

-Shall we tell you what it was?

-Yeah.

Any idea in the audience?

-AUDIENCE:

-Billy.

-Yeah, we got that one!

LAUGHTER

Billy...

May...

Hugh!

-Billy Mayhew!

-Billy Mayhew.

Oh, mystery character.

Please reveal yourself.

It's Billy Mayhew!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Also known as Daniel Brocklebank!

Come on over here.

That was... That was so tough.

That was really tough. I am sorry, you didn't get the star prize,

but you did get to meet Daniel.

-Yeah, you did.

-Have you had a good time?

And you've won four prizes from the Wind-Up price stash.

-You've got to be pleased with that.

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much.

Give it up for Lola, Catherine and our special guest,

Daniel Brocklebank!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done, girl, brilliant.

We're Joe and Jake, TV's second-favourite male double act.

We'll also say anything for money.

Cheers, Sam and Mark.

'Ladies and gentlemen, tonight on the Wind-Up Wheel,

'it's Iain Stirling!'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hi, Iain Stirling. How are you doing?

Hello, Sam and Mark.

-You all right?

-I'm good, thanks, man. I'm feeling nice.

I'm on a chair that spins round.

-He looks a bit too calm for me.

-LAUGHTER

I feel good.

I'm going to cross my leg.

-Oh! Very nice.

-Very chilled-out.

All right, now, like we said, on this show, no-one is safe,

even our lovely celebrity guests.

Which is why we've stuck Iain on this not-at-all-ropey wheel.

He'll be fine.

LAUGHTER

Just make sure you hang on for dear life.

Yeah, make sure you don't fall.

OK, here's how it works. We will be spinning Iain around

until he simply can't take any more.

He could land on any of these categories,

but he has no idea what's in store for him.

Iain, are you ready?

-No.

-It doesn't matter! LAUGHTER

Because it's time to...

AUDIENCE: Wind up that wheel!

Ah!

Whoa!

Stop that wheel!

BOTH: Oh!

Prize Question! I like it.

OK, so this is Alicia.

-Alicia, Iain Stirling...

-Hi, Alicia!

..is about to ask you a question.

Now, if you get the answer right,

Alicia will win a very good prize.

So I'm going to go over to Alicia.

Make it 1+1, Alicia.

Alicia, stand up, stand up.

Say hello to Iain Stirling.

-Hi.

-Hello, Alicia.

Do you watch Iain's show on CBBC?

-Yeah.

-Excellent.

-Could have been awkward, couldn't it?

Right, OK, so here's the question that we want you to read Iain.

How much change would you receive from £3

if you bought two stamps at 73p each?

Think about it, Iain Stirling.

You get this right, Alicia goes home with a prize.

How much? 70...?

-Three.

-73p each.

-So there's two of them.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-"Yeah" is not the answer.

What, do you want me to do it now?

-Yes, please.

-OK.

£1.54.

You're saying £1.54.

Can I just say, if Iain's got this wrong,

will you continue watching his show?

No.

LAUGHTER

That's the right answer.

OK, do you want to tell him if he's right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Well done, mate!

-Yeah, yeah!

Alicia, you've just won a digital camera.

And she's going to carry on watching your show!

-Yay!

-OK, it's time to...

AUDIENCE: Wind up that wheel!

BOTH: Stop the wheel.

Ooh, Dance Like!

OK, so, Ian Stirling,

we would like you to dance like a chicken doing a barn dance.

What's a barn dance?

-Exactly.

-Come stand here.

-What's a barn dance?

-It's your own interpretation of it, Iain.

Cue the music!

FIDDLE MUSIC PLAYS

AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME

HE CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN

Very good! Very good!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very well done, Iain, well done.

All right, it's time to...

AUDIENCE: Wind up that wheel!

Not yet... Not yet...

Stop the wheel!

Forfeit.

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

Your forfeit...

is to eat one of these crickets.

No!

-No.

-Hey, I don't make the rules.

Look at that.

And if you do it, everyone here will watch your brand-new show.

LAUGHTER

It's just like eating...

-sponge.

-You eat one, I'll eat one.

CHANTING: Iain, Iain, Iain.

AUDIENCE CHANTS: Iain, Iain.

-If Mark does it, I'll do it.

-What?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-If you do it, I'll do it.

-Come on, then.

-One each.

I'll do anything, me. Here you go, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-That one, I'm going to call Iain.

LAUGHTER

This one's called Sam.

-Good. OK, here we go.

-Three, two, one, go.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

Ah!

LAUGHTER

Ah! Ugh!

-Do you want some?

-No, ta!

Ah!

It's so powdery!

Oh, they just... Oh, you bite into it, and it's like...mud!

How on earth are you feeling after that?

Oh.

LAUGHTER

-It doesn't go away.

-It doesn't, it doesn't.

I'm sorry. Ladies and gentlemen,

let's hear it once again for the awesome Iain Stirling.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Yeah, see you later.

-See you later.

How did that happen?!

CRASHING BOTH: Oh!

He's not having a good day.

Oh, no. Oh, poor little soul. Bless him.

Anyway. Now it is time to find out what happened

when we took to the streets of Bangor in Northern Ireland

for a sporting Friday Face-Off.

We knew we were up against athletes Kelly Gallagher and Katharine Merry,

But nothing could have prepared us for this week's challenge.

-Didn't even rip it.

-Good one.

-LAUGHTER

'Somewhere on the streets of the UK,

'TV's dynamic duo Sam and Mark are about to go head-to-head

'with a pair of fearless celebs on a mystery mission.'

Let's go, let's go!

'Enlisting the help of the local community,

'they must do all they can to complete the surprise challenge.

'But only one daring double act will be victorious.

'This is Sam and Mark's Big Friday Face-Off.

We are Sam and Mark.

And they are Olympic and Paralympic medallists Katharine Merry

and Kelly Gallagher.

-And he's not lying.

-It really is us.

And we are in Bangor,

Northern Ireland.

But why on earth are we here?

-We don't know.

-We've absolutely no idea.

But we're about to find out, because in these envelopes

is today's Face-Off challenge.

Oh.

Greetings, Sam, Mark, Katharine and Kelly.

Welcome to the Race-Off Face-Off.

You have just two hours

to find three people to make up a relay team

before running in a nail-biting 400 metre race!

What?! You've won a medal in that!

THEY LAUGH

-What?

-Each team member will run 100 metres,

but the final leg will be run by you,

our celebrity duos,

tied together, as in a three-legged race.

THEY LAUGH

Your three team members must include someone with grey hair,

someone wearing a work uniform,

and someone whose name begins with S or M.

Any team members you fail to find for your relay team

must be replaced by yourselves running an extra 100 metres

as a three-legged race.

-Ooh.

-Oh, thanks for picking Olympians(!) Cheers(!)

Yeah, cheers for that, nice one(!)

-Appreciate that(!)

-Thanks very much, guys(!)

No, this is all right, we're on this.

How are you feeling, Kelly, about this?

Not great. I'm used to going downhill.

-And aided by gravity.

-On skis!

At least you're used to having things tied to your feet,

-though, Kelly.

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's not looking good for us, mate.

It is not looking good for us at all, actually.

I need to limber up first.

I didn't even limber up.

That's all right. We're on this. We're on this.

'Time to get the challenge up and running.'

All right.

'So, our duos have just a few hours to hit the streets of Bangor,

'find a team of relay racers,

and run a 400 metre race with them at a sports track.

'But who will oversee this epic journey to the finish line?

'Say hello to Nick Bright.

'Radio 1 Xtra DJ Nick is going to be giving us the rundown

'as our teams step up to race later on.

'But will the final result be music to his ears?'

Remember, it is all about the taking part.

Who am I kidding? It's all about the winning!

'Let the challenge commence.'

Oh, let's go, let's go!

-Shall we get coffee?

-Yeah.

-Only kidding.

-Come on, what are you going to do?

Right. Come on, so what do we need to find?

So uniform, grey hair, anybody whose name begins with S or M.

Imagine if we found them all in the one person,

then we could just pick the other two.

-Oh, yeah.

-That would be handy.

That's not a bad idea.

Where are we going?

OUT OF TUNE: # Down the street of life. #

LAUGHTER

There's some guys in there in uniform.

And there's an array of silver-haired people.

So shall we go and have a crack?

And fingers crossed, someone's called Michael or Sarah.

-Or Sam or Simon, right.

-OK, let's get inside.

Butchers, they wear uniforms!

Let's go for the butchers.

-Butchers.

-That's a good idea.

Oh, he's young. Look at this guy.

In fact, he's walking over. He's crossing the road.

It's like he's coming to us.

I'm going to these guys at the back. I'm going to these guys here.

Hello, mate. What's your name?

-I'm Shane.

-Shane!

-Hello, Shane!

-Nice to meet you.

-It begins with an S.

-Brilliant.

-Is that better?

-That is brilliant, mate. Oh, we need you so much.

Are you free this afternoon?

We are indeed, what do you want to do?

-We want yous to run 100 metres for us.

-100 metres?

We need to get a relay team together.

-OK.

-Somebody who's wearing a uniform

-and somebody whose name begins with S or M.

-Yeah.

You are both of those things.

I think we might be up and running.

-Yeah, sounds good.

-What time is this at?

About two this afternoon.

Ah, we can make that.

The only problem is that we'll need to take you to

a running track a little bit later on today.

-As you going to be able to?

-Let me confirm with my boss.

Confirm with your boss. Thumbs up or thumbs down?

He's thinking about it...

I think it was... Was it "On your bike"?

We're not even five minutes in,

and we've already got two of our team.

Boom. We only need one more.

'The girls have started to build a strong team,

'unlike the boys.'

What's your name?

-Les.

-Les?

-Aye.

-Les.

OK. Do you fancy running 100 metres today with us?

No.

LAUGHTER

OK, there's a pizzeria across the road.

And I think they'd all be quite young.

I think this might be the hardest challenge we've had.

By a mile.

BOTH: By 400 metres.

I'm Kelly Gallagher.

-Jamie, nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, Jamie.

-Katharine Merry.

-Hiya, nice to meet you.

-Jamie...

-Oh, no.

-What's your name?

-Your name was Jamie?

-Yeah.

Oh, man! We need an S or an M

-as a first name for our relay team.

-No, I'm Jack.

Oh, Jamie and Jack.

How up for running 100 metres are you, with us?

-Might be good craic, yeah.

-Do you reckon you could do it?

Just about.

HE LAUGHS

Legend!

Michelle?

Simon?

-I'm Sam.

-I'm Mark.

-Hi, Mark.

-Nice to meet you.

-What's your names?

-Karen and Malc.

-You all right?

-Sorry?

-Karen and Malc.

-BOTH: Malc?

-Malc.

-Oh!

This is your lucky day!

We need to get three people on our team to take part in a relay.

So basically, you'd be running 100 metres.

This is going to be hard...

'It looks like it's impossible for the girls to find an S or an M.'

Are you up for it, first?

Yeah, yeah.

Ha-ha! Malc!

'So, the girls just need an S or an M person,

'and the boys need to find someone in a work uniform -

'perhaps an old friend?'

-Hiya, we're back.

-Hello, guys.

We were wondering whether we could butter you up

and get Shane on board.

I suppose, aye.

-BOTH: Are you sure?

-Since you came in and asked.

BOTH: Oh, mate!

Bring him out, so we can see his reaction.

-What's your name again?

-HE MUMBLES

-Oh!

-What's your surname?

-Dixon.

-What's your middle name?

-Don't have one.

-Is he coming?

-This is so exciting.

This is a beautiful moment.

It's like an X Factor moment.

Telling him he's got to boot camp.

We're looking for someone called Sam or Mark or Michael or Sarah...

Let's put Take That on now.

MUSIC: Greatest Day by Take that

-It's happening.

-Come on, Shane. Take That's playing.

# Today this could be... #

Ready? Wait for it.

# The greatest day of our lives. #

OK, stop Take That.

-Just for a second. Stop Take That.

-Stop it for a minute.

We need a... Anybody.

This is a Sam?

-No way!

-Would you like...?

Do you think the two of you could run 100 metres this afternoon?

Are you free this afternoon?

Standing by with Take That.

Do you want to be on CBBC with us?

-Play Take That.

-Start Take That.

# Hold on

# Hold on

# Tonight... #

-Shane! Shane!

-Playing Take That, here.

I'm just getting myself nice and clean for you.

-Oh!

-OK, stop Take That.

Karen and Sam are going to help us out and complete our team.

Give me a high five, Sam.

Yeah!

Play Take That.

-# This could be... # Shane.

-Yes?

Listen, we've got our relay team,

but it wouldn't be a relay team about you.

-Are you on-board?

-I'm on-board.

Happy days.

# Oh

# And the world comes alive. #

We're playing Take That.

-So we've got our whole team.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Boom!

-Boom!

-Yeah, sounds good.

-Yeah!

-Yes.

-I actually can't believe this.

We've filled our quota.

I actually think we might win this.

We just need to learn how to do our three-legged race.

-Can we now get tea and coffee?

-We were close!

-Really close. Let's go.

'So both duos have their relay teams,

'but are Sam and Mark on track for the win?'

-Shane, definitely turning up.

-He's going to be there.

-He loves it.

Malc's already tweeted us.

'Or will Katharine and Kelly run circles round them?'

-So we'll wait for our team to arrive...

-OK.

..and then we'll do some practice.

-And then that's it.

-That's it.

-The rest is a formality.

'All will be revealed when Sam and Mark's Big Friday Face-Off returns.'

Remember that time we lost a challenge?

-No. Neither do I.

-Exactly.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hey, we got off to a good start, didn't we?

What could possibly go wrong?

Find out what happens later on in the show.

But right now, here's what else is coming up

on tonight's Big Friday Wind-Up.

'What's got five naughty parents and a classroom full of slop?

'It's the School Of Shame.

'Only the wise will survive our endgame, Ball Fall.

'And the Tide comes in to play us out.

Now, it's time to play a game of karaoke.

-But not as you know it.

-All will be explained very soon.

But first, let's find out who's playing tonight.

Will it be these two?

# Oh, sit down

# Oh, sit down

# Oh, sit down

# Sit down next to me. #

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Will it be him?

# Cos I'm all about that bass

# 'Bout that bass

# No treble

# I'm all about that bass

# 'Bout that bass

# No treble. #

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Or will it be her?

# Oh, oh, oh, oh

# Waterloo

# Knowing my fate is to be with you. #

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Don't worry. It won't be any of you.

Here's who's playing tonight.

It is...

Caitlin's family from Cornwall!

But who will be their challengers?

It's Emily's family from Cheshire!

Teams, come on down, as we play Kara-soak-e.

Come on down, teams.

Come on, come on.

Welcome to the game.

It's essentially karaoke, but wetter.

One member of each team will attempt to sing

while the other team soaks them through.

Whoever sings the most lyrics clearly is the winner.

Now, Caitlin, who's on your team?

Well, my friend Kate from Cornwall,

my friend Georgia from Cornwall,

and my mum, Nicola.

Brilliant. All right, so who is your nominated singer?

-My mum, Nicola.

-Your mum?

And why have they nominated you, do you reckon?

I think this is a "get your own back" time, really.

LAUGHTER

-Are you embarrassing?

-Yeah. I am a bit of an embarrassing mum, yeah.

I'd like to say, Nicola, it's not as bad as it sounds,

but it probably is.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, let's hear some of your singing, then.

What's your singing like?

# Oh, I'm halfway there

# O-oh

# Living on a prayer. #

Yeah! APPLAUSE

Good!

That's what I'm talking about.

-Nice work.

-Emily, who do we have on your team?

Well, these are my two best friends, Lily and Annabella,

then this is my dad, Steve.

And is your dad, Steve, your nominated singer?

-Yeah.

-Why have you chosen your dad?

Because it's to get my own back

on all the times in the morning he's wound down the window

and shouted and tried to sing at the top of his voice

What A Beautiful Morning.

Oh, really? I think we've got to hear a bit of this, haven't we?

We've got to hear a bit of this.

Come on, Steve.

# Oh what a beautiful morning

# Oh what a beautiful day. #

Yeah! I like it!

APPLAUSE

-Got two good singers.

-To be fair, that might be one of the songs.

-You never know.

-Could be.

-OK, here we go, then.

Nicola, please take your place on the kara-soak-e stage.

And Emily's team, if you would like to select your soakers.

Off you go, girls.

Now, while they do that, Nicola.

What would you like to sing?

We've got Roar by Katy Perry,

or Tie A Yellow Ribbon by Tony Orlando and Dawn.

-Who?

-Exactly.

I think I'd better go for Roar.

Roar! Yeah.

OK, well, there are 100 words in this section of the song.

You need to clearly sing as many as you can while you're getting soaked.

-Are you ready?

-No.

-Yes.

-LAUGHTER

"No, yes" is good enough.

Soakers, are you ready?

-Yes.

-Oh, yeah.

All right, in that case, let kara-soak-e commence.

BUZZER GOES OFF

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-That was impressive.

-That was really good, Nicola.

I've got a good feeling about this.

OK. I can tell you, Nicola,

you sang 91 words clearly.

APPLAUSE

You only missed nine words!

What have you got to say to your soakers?

-Great aim, girls.

-Great aim.

-It was.

-All right.

-Very good.

-OK, Nicola.

Steve, it's your turn to step onto the kara-soak-e stage.

And Caitlin's team, if you'd like to swap over.

Right, whilst they do that, Steve,

it's time to find out what you'll be singing.

We have two songs for you.

Budapest by George Ezra or

Never Going To Give You Up by Rick Astley.

LAUGHTER

-What's it going to be?

-I think there's only one choice there,

and that's Never Going To Give You Up.

-OK.

-Yeah!

APPLAUSE

-# We're no strangers to love. #

-Don't give it away! No, don't...

Sorry. Sorry. Right, Steve, once again,

there are 100 words in this section of the song.

-You need to sing 92...

-Good luck.

..to beat the score and win the prize.

-Are you ready?

-I'm ready.

-Excellent.

-I'd like to see the dance moves, as well.

-Ha-ha!

All right, soakers, are you ready?

-They look ready, look at them!

-OK.

Let kara-soak-e commence.

BUZZER GOES OFF

# You know the game and you're... # Hold your fire!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Oh, this is close. Nice work, Steve.

OK. So, Steve,

you needed to sing more than 91 words

to beat Nicola's score and win the prize.

And I can reveal that you scored...

90!

AUDIENCE: Oh!

Which means, Caitlin's team,

you guys are the winners!

Emily's team, don't worry,

we are going to give you some Big Friday Wind-Up goody bags,

cos that was so close.

-Does that sound better?

-Yeah.

Yeah, better. Oh, unlucky.

Nice work, guys.

You go home with a karaoke machine,

which comes with 100 classic backing tracks!

CHEERING

Let's hear it once again for our kara-soak-e superstars.

APPLAUSE

Now, it is time for part two of The Big Friday Face-Off.

Run VT. Hey, do you get it?

Run, cos it's about running, isn't it?

I'll get me coat.

LAUGHTER

'Previously on Big Friday Face-Off,

'Sam and Mark and Catherine and Kelly

'have just a couple of hours to find three people

'willing to join them in a 400-metre relay race.

'Sam and Mark bagged a butcher,

'a shop manager and their main man, Malc.

-Are up you for it?

-Yeah, yeah.

'..while Katharine and Kelly struck it lucky

'with two builders and an athlete of the future.'

-This is a Sam?

-No way!

'With the teams complete,

'our duos headed to the track to prepare for the race.'

ROCK GUITAR PLAYS

'Oh, good grief.'

LAUGHTER

-Let's go round.

-Yeah, another one, another one, back this way.

HE YELLS

Down.

Up. Up.

Lift it! Ha!

We're going to win.

MARK GROANS

LAUGHTER

BOTH: Seven, eight, nine, ten.

You can't run races wearing this, and not win.

'They've warmed up, and they're looking good.

'But where are their teams?'

-Oh! They've arrived.

-They're here!

Let's go and see the A-team.

-The A-team.

-The A-team.

OK, I'm really worried now, cos they've got all their team,

and they're having, like, a team talk. They're laughing and joking.

And we haven't got anyone. I don't know where they are.

-Thanks for coming, guys.

-Yeah, thank you.

I can feel the winning vibe already, considering they've

actually got no-one on their team yet that's come.

LAUGHTER

-Oh, I think...

-That's Dave, innit? It's Dave!

'Hurray! Shop manager Dave is the first to arrive.'

BOTH: Yeah!

'And while the others train...'

Paddy, get your knees up, my friend.

'..the boys spot a second team member.

-Is that Shane?

-Is that Shane?

That's Shane! Yeah!

-Paddy, you'll run this bend.

-All right.

We're just waiting for Malc.

Yeah, Malc can get here, but not till 4:30.

Always one.

Isn't there a guy in the gym called Mark?

Come on!

'It's a last-ditch attempt to fill their team.'

Hi!

'But Mark has gone.'

Is there anybody working here with the name...?

-I'm here. That's it.

-Just you?

-Just me.

-Right.

'The blue team have all their members

'and are set to go.

'But the pink team are a man down,

'meaning that Sam and Mark

'have to run two legs of the race.

'Hard luck, boys.

'It's race time.'

Ready...

..set...

'And they're off!'

Go on, lad!

He's fast. This is a good start,

a good head start for us.

-NICK:

-Team Sam and Mark

have taken an early lead.

'Is anyone else worried about Paddy?'

-Come on, Dave!

-We need this now.

Start running, Dave!

Go!

Wow, Team Sam and Mark

really are going for it.

Oh, no, here comes the pram.

Here comes the wheels.

Go, go, go! Woo!

-Well done, Dave.

-Well done, Dave.

-NICK:

-Sam and Mark have set away,

but they are a person light,

so they're having to do 200 metres,

as opposed to 100.

And they're already struggling.

Well done, Sam. Woo!

Let's go, JJ!

Come on, JJ!

Come on!

They're about to be overtaken.

'He's like a gazelle.'

That's the losing moment!

They're in big trouble, here.

They're only halfway around the bend at the top of the track,

and the blue team are about to receive the baton

for their final leg.

BOTH: One, two, three.

Kelly and Katharine are away on the final leg.

-Six...

-Eyes on the prize.

Eyes on the prize.

Seven, eight, nine.

Sam and Mark are absolutely nowhere.

LAUGHTER

What was that guy who hurt his leg that time and his dad came out...?

Come on!

They might as well give up now.

And here we go. Ten metres left.

'Winners...'

Victorious, the blue team, Katharine and Kelly.

Ah!

'Oh, come on.'

Finish the race!

I, kind of, knew they were going to win, if I'm completely honest.

Heads together, come on, lads.

-You've got this.

-Come on, come on.

Come on, boys.

Yeah!

'..and the losers.

'Too many trips to the biscuit tin.

So, guys. The race is done,

and the blue team were first past the post.

-Yeah!

-So the winners of the Big Friday Race-Off Face-Off

are team blue, Kelly and Katharine.

Well done, guys. Well done.

-Well done.

-We thank everybody, don't we?

Paddy, DJ, Sam, Karen,

everybody that's believed in us and helped us today.

Our friends, our family. We love you all. Thank you so...

They're not even here, they've gone.

Bad losers.

Well done.

'All right, girls, don't milk it.'

APPLAUSE

I'm Gavin James, and you're watching Sam And Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up,

you poor, poor things.

BELL RINGS

'Could all children congregate in the Wind-Up Assembly Hall?

'Mr "Naughty Step" Nixon and Mr "Cheese And Pickle" Rhodes

'have put some extremely silly parents in detention.

'Lily's mum thinks it's funny

'to jump out from behind the sofa

'and shout boo at her.

'Molly's dad owns a Taylor Swift colouring book.

'Lucas' mum calls him Snuggle Bunny

'in front of all his friends.

'Alicia's mum stank out a bus

'after treading in dog poo.

'And Joe's mum dances to '80s music

'in full view of the public!

Welcome to the School Of Shame.

APPLAUSE

Lily, Molly, Lucas, Alicia and Joe.

We're giving you the chance to teach your problem parents a lesson.

And in the process,

one of you will be going home with a fantastic prize -

a tablet.

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

Listen up, we're about to play

a game of musical chairs with a difference.

And that difference being that your parents

could be getting covered in slop.

HE LAUGHS

THUNDER ROLLS

LAUGHTER

Juniors, are you ready?

ALL: Yeah!

-I like it.

-Seniors, are you ready?

ALL: No. LAUGHTER

We're doing it anyway!

In that case, Mrs Stevenson, take it away.

CHEERFUL PIANO MUSIC

BELL RINGS

MUSIC STOPS

Oh, they're all fighting for a seat.

OK, Juniors, stay facing forward.

Lily, I'm coming to you first.

I would like you to write down the number chair

you think your parent isn't sitting on.

One, two, three, four, or five.

Write down the number. And to remind everyone at home,

could Lily's parent please raise their hand?

Thank you. Put your hand down.

-All right.

-OK, so, Lily,

please reveal to us all which number chair

you think your parent isn't sitting on?

Chair number one.

Let's see if you're right. Juniors, turn round.

You were right!

That's not your parent.

Lucas, is that your parent?

Oh, sorry. Which means we have to say goodbye to Lucas and Lucas' mum.

-Goodbye, Snuggle Bunny.

-Bye.

Right, there are four seniors left,

four juniors left. Mrs Stevenson, take it away.

CHEERFUL PIANO MUSIC

BELL RINGS

MUSIC STOPS

Right, Juniors, stay facing forward.

Molly, I'm coming to you.

I would like you now to write down the number chair

you think your parent isn't sitting on.

Number one has gone,

so you're left with two, three, four, and five.

Could Molly's parent please raise their hand, to just remind us all?

Thank you very much.

Right, Molly, which number chair, show us all,

do you think your parent isn't sitting on?

Number two?

Time to find out if you're right.

Juniors, turn round.

Oh, you were right! That's not your parent.

It's Alicia's mum.

Oh, sorry, Alicia and Alicia's mum,

We have to say goodbye to you.

Bye.

Mrs Stevenson, take it away.

CHEERFUL PIANO MUSIC

BELL RINGS, MUSIC STOPS

All right, stay facing forward, everyone.

OK. Joe, I'm coming to you.

I need you to write down the number chair

you think your parent isn't sitting on.

One and two have gone,

so you're left with three, four and five.

To remind everyone at home,

could Joe's parent please raise their hand?

Thank you. OK, Joe,

which number chair do you think your parent isn't sitting on?

Chair number four.

MARK LAUGHS

Sorry, Mum.

Do you think you've got it right, Joe?

Not after that.

LAUGHTER

Well, let's find out.

Juniors, turn round.

Yeah, you were right! That's not your parent.

It's Lily's mum.

Oh, sadly, we have to say goodbye to Lily and Lily's mum, then.

Off you go, guys.

See you. Sorry, Lily.

So, this is the moment of truth.

We have two seniors left, two juniors left.

For the final time, Mrs Stevenson, take it away.

CHEERFUL PIANO MUSIC

BELL RINGS, MUSIC STOPS

Right, Molly, I'm coming back to you.

There are only two chairs remaining.

Chair three and chair five.

You need to write the number you think your parent isn't sitting on.

Number three or five.

To remind everyone at home,

could Molly's parent please raise their hand?

Thank you very much.

Molly. Which chair do you think your parent isn't sitting on?

Number five.

If you've got this right, you win the tablet.

If you've got it wrong and it is your parent,

Joe wins the tablet.

Juniors, turn round.

You were right!

That's Joe's mum.

Oh, sorry, guys, this means we have to say goodbye to you.

Off you go. See you later.

Which means that, Molly,

you are today's winner, and you go home with our tablet!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

How does that sound? Good?

-Excellent stuff.

-Unlucky, everybody else.

We're giving you a towel and a goodie bag.

We are indeed. Hey, congratulations.

And I've got to say, Molly's dad, you got away scot-free,

-Look how clean you are!

-You did so well.

Oh, Mr Rhodes!

Was I not supposed to do that?

You weren't meant to do that, he's won!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

-Can I take it back?

-No, no, but you can shake my hand.

LAUGHTER

Everybody, give it up for all of our pupils in today's School Of Shame!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hi, I'm Kevin Sim, and big Friday Wind-Up reminds me of The Voice.

Every time it comes on TV,

I turn my armchair around.

-Hey, guys, keep your applause going, it's The Tide.

-Yeah!

Wow. Thanks for being here, lads.

Now, it's good to have you back,

actually, because you were on our show briefly last year, weren't you?

-Cos you were with The Vamps.

-Yeah, we were.

Yeah, nice. Well, it's good to have you back, guys,

-as proper guests this time.

-Yeah, thanks for having us.

No worries. Now, you guys, you're signed to The Vamps' record label.

-Is that right?

-Yes.

OK, so have those boys given you any advice?

Yeah. They've really helped us through our process of,

you know, being a band.

And they've helped us with our live performance.

-And just, you know, kind of reminded us to have fun.

-Yeah.

And also, what's great about The Vamps,

-they've got a huge fan base.

-Yeah.

So now, are the Vamps' fans fans of The Tide, as well?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-That's good. That's what you want. Instant fans!

-That's brilliant.

It was a good deal, yeah.

LAUGHTER

So, why are you called The Tide?

Well, basically we're from...

We're based in California, in Los Angeles,

so we kind of wanted to go for that surfy kind of beachy vibe.

Well, you're going to be performing later on for us, aren't you?

-Yeah, we will.

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

Well, thank you for being here. Give it up for The Tide, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, it's time for Ball Fall.

We've come to the gripping climax of the show.

The game that mixes general knowledge with balls.

Let's welcome back our teams.

Lola's team!

APPLAUSE

And Caitlin's team!

APPLAUSE

Lola, welcome back.

Introduce the gang for us.

So, this is my mum.

That's my best friend, Ben.

And that's his mum, Sue.

Lovely to have you here, guys.

Fantastic. And, Caitlin, who we have got over here?

Well, I've got my mum, Nicola.

My friend Georgette.

And my step mum, Kit.

Right, let's explain the rules.

Our teams are below a tank of balls just waiting to drop on them.

We'll be asking you questions.

Each worth 1,500 balls.

Get your question right,

and those balls will fall on a member of the opposing team.

But get it wrong and the balls will fall on you.

THEY LAUGH

Each player's cubicle can hold up to 3,000 balls.

So, it's two strikes and you're buried.

The first team to be totally covered, loses.

And the winning team will go home with tonight's star prize -

a games console. AUDIENCE: Oooh!

Good prize.

Is everyone ready?

-They look ready. Beautiful.

-OK, remember,

if at any point you want to get out of the tank...

AUDIENCE: Push the door behind you!

Such a wonderful catchphrase.

Right, Lola, we're starting with your team.

Sue, you get the first question.

Which fruit is dried to make a prune?

Raisin?

Is not, it's a plum.

It's a plum, which means number one, Sue,

the balls are falling on you.

OK. Caitlin.

It's your question.

What colour is a standard New York City taxi?

Yellow?

Is the right answer!

Well done, Caitlin.

Which means you can pick either one, two,

three or four for the balls to drop on.

-Who are you going to pick?

-One.

-Oh!

LAUGHTER

Sorry, Sue. So, early in the game. Bye!

Sue, are you still in there?

LAUGHTER

She's moving. She's moving. Right, Ben,

next question is for you.

What is the name of the animated CBBC show

about an aardvark and his friends?

Have a guess if you're not sure.

Um...

-Any idea?

-No.

-No idea?

OK, the answer was Arthur.

Which means, number two, Ben, the balls are falling on you!

OK. The next question is for you, Nicola.

A bit drier than when we saw you last.

What is the currency of India?

Ruple?

Rupee?

We have to take your first answer, I'm afraid.

It was rupee, but you said ruple first.

Which means it's the wrong answer, so the balls are falling on you,

number six, sorry about that.

Right, Catherine, it's time for your question.

Here we go.

Comice, Conference and Williams are varieties of which fruit?

Pear.

That's the right answer.

So, that means you get to nominate a member of the opposing team,

who's it going to be, five six, seven or eight?

Nicola, please.

Oh, Nicola, number six,

which means we've got to say goodbye to you. Bye!

OK, Nicola, give us a thumbs up.

There we are.

Lovely. OK.

Next question is for you, Georgia.

How many holes are there on a standard golf course?

Have a guess.