Mortarium Teacup Travels

Here they come, my two intrepid explorers.

Charlotte and Elliot.

I'm their Great Aunt Lizzie, you see.

I wonder which one is coming to see me today.

Ah, so it's Charlotte's turn.

Here she comes,

racing to hear another tale

from an epic adventurer.

TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!

And what wonderful adventures they were,

so long ago and so far away.

I collected a few souvenirs along the way.

But my most precious possession of all

is my extraordinary collection

of teacups.

You've still got your coat on, Charlotte. Come on.

No time to count the clouds, we've got stories to tell.

Now, let's have a lovely cup of tea.

But first we need...

The teacup.

Which one?

That one.

Ooh.

The Roman Mortarium.

What a choice, Charlotte.

I do really love that story.

This should be just perfect to drink now.

So, are you ready?

Ready.

Then let me tell you the story

of Great Aunt Lizzie

And The Adventure Of The Magnificent Mortarium.

A-ahem.

Oh, yes, of course.

-Let me tell you the story of Charlotte...

-Hee-hee!

And The Adventure Of The Magnificent Mortarium.

It all begun long ago

in an ancient empire

where towns and cities of marble and gold

nestled among the hills and fields

in a land we now call Italy.

After journeying for weeks over this beautiful land,

Charlotte arrived one cool morning

on the outskirts of an elegant town.

She soon found herself in front of a grand building

with an even grander entrance behind a row of marble columns.

From the doorway came the sound of singing

MAN HUMS

Charlotte decided to have a closer look...

HUMMING CONTINUES

..until she saw a young priest

working away at a large pile of pistachio nuts,

muttering to himself.

There are just so many. Two hours, I've been at it,

and it looks like I've only just started.

I'll never get out into the sunshine at this rate.

Charlotte felt straight away that she had to help the priest

with the mammoth task ahead.

Excuse me, would you like me to help you?

-Can you shell pistachio nuts?

-I can if you show me how.

Charlotte joined him.

And he showed her what to do.

-Like this?

-That's right.

Then you put the nut in the pile

and the shells in the pot.

Now only 9,999 to go.

What are all these nuts for?

For the priest's special supper tomorrow night.

They always have pistachio nut tart for dessert, which they love.

I do, too, but it takes so long to make.

Maybe we could sing a song to pass time.

I only sing religious songs in here.

But my mum used to recite a poem to me and my sister when we were little

to try and get us to sleep.

It was called The Moon Is In The Mountain.

How does it go?

The moon is in the mountain,

the sun is in the sky,

the wind is east

and the clouds are passing by.

-That's lovely.

-I'll teach it to you if you like?

-BOTH:

-The moon is in the mountain,

the sun is in the sky...

..the wind is east and the clouds are passing by.

-BOTH:

-The moon is in the mountain

the sun is in the sky...

And before long, they'd finished shelling

the huge pile of pistachios.

-We did it!

-We did!

Maybe we will get out in the sun after all.

If you throw the shells away over there, I'll sort the nuts out.

As Charlotte went to get rid of the shells,

an older priest called Septimus arrived

to see how Rufus had been getting on.

Well done, Rufus.

Rufus showed him the pile of freshly shelled pistachio nuts.

-Now all you need to do is to grind them up.

-Really?

The best way to do it is to crush them between two spoons.

See?

But that will take ages and ages.

You'd better get started then,

so they're ready for the making of the nut tart tomorrow?

Septimus left

and Charlotte went back to join the rather miserable Rufus.

I'll never get all these nuts ground up by tomorrow night.

Of course we will.

We'll ground them together.

Come on, it won't take that long.

But grinding the nuts between two spoons

wasn't as easy or quick as she thought.

It was going to take a month to crush them all at that rate.

I wish we had a mortarium like my mum has.

-That'd make things much easier.

-A mortarium?

Yes. It's a small bowl you grind things in.

It makes it quicker and stops the nuts getting everywhere.

Maybe we could borrow it from her?

Maybe. She only lives up the road.

But I'm not allowed out of the temple to get it.

Then Charlotte had one of her brilliant ideas.

I could go and get it for you!

Great.

I'll be as quick as I can.

Charlotte thought that collecting the mortarium

would be a piece of cake.

But, of course, it was NEVER

going to be as easy as that.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

She arrived at Rufus' mum's house.

But when she knocked, there was no reply.

She was just about to leave

when she heard a voice from behind her.

Hello, my deary.

-Can I help you?

-I'm Charlotte.

I've got a message from Rufus.

Oh, Rufus, my lovely son.

-How is he?

-He's fine.

He told me about the mortarium and asked if he could borrow it.

-My mortarium?

-Yes.

He needs to grind pistachio nuts

to make a nut tart for the priests' special supper tomorrow night.

Oh, but I haven't got it. I lent it to my daughter.

Maybe I could borrow it from her.

You could, but she's in Rome.

Rome?

She'd only just left Rufus

and already everything was all over the place.

She'd done her best to help shell the nuts.

She'd tried to help him grind them but without much success.

She'd thought that borrowing the mortarium from Rufus' mum

would be as easy as winking.

She couldn't go back to Rufus without the mortarium, could she?

There was nothing else for it but to hotfoot it to Rome.

to Rufus' sister's house.

So, off went Charlotte in her old battered boots.

She scrambled up the rugged mountain paths until,

when she was almost out of breath,

the path ran out.

There was only one way to get to the other side.

Charlotte took a deep breath.

Safely across, she set off once more

until there, before her,

was the magnificent city of Rome.

There wasn't a minute to gaze in wonder.

Charlotte had to get that mortarium.

Charlotte heard the sound of footsteps,

so she knocked politely on the door.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

It was opened by Rufus' sister, Camilla.

Hello. Can I help you?

I'm Charlotte and I've got a message from Rufus.

He asked if he could borrow the mortarium.

-The mortarium?

-Yes.

He needs it to grind some pistachio nuts

-for the priests' special supper tomorrow night.

-Oh. Hang on.

Charlotte was delighted,

but when Rufus' sister came back holding the mortarium,

she looked a little suspicious.

Just a minute.

How do I know you know Rufus? You could be anyone.

I could give you my mum's mortarium and never see it again.

Charlotte was flummoxed.

-Then suddenly she remembered...

-The poem!

Rufus' sister wasn't sure what poem Charlotte meant.

Until Charlotte started reciting.

The moon is in the mountain

The sun is in the sky

The wind is east...

-BOTH:

-..and the clouds are passing by.

Rufus and I used to love that poem when we were little.

He must've sent you.

-Here, you take the mortarium.

-Thank you.

Finally, Charlotte had the mortarium.

It was very like a bowl,

except it had a spout to one side

to pour out whatever you'd ground up.

It was MUCH heavier than it looked.

She put it carefully into her bag.

Send him my love.

-And tell him to keep saying the poem.

-I will.

-Bye.

-Bye. Thanks.

Back came Charlotte in her old battered boots,

over the plains and down the mountainside.

I felt like a very long journey indeed

as Charlotte ran straight back into the temple.

-I've got the mortarium!

-Ssh!

-They're making an offering.

-Sorry.

(I've got the mortarium.)

If we start now,

we should be able to grind all the nuts

-and still have time to go outside in the gardens.

-Great.

-Start grinding.

-Yes, let's.

And that was that. The whole kit and caboodle.

Charlotte And The Adventure Of The Magnificent Mortarium.

-Rufus had SO much to do.

-He did. But you helped him.

I liked the poem -

The moon is in the mountain And the sun is in the sky...

..The wind is east And the clouds are passing by.

I think we've got a mortarium at home.

We call them mortars now, but they're exactly the same.

Well, I never! Is that the time already?

Come on. Your mum will be here in a minute.

Your coat.

How did that get there?

Home time now, Charlotte.

Bye, Great Aunt Lizzie.

Cheery-bye, Charlotte.