Tweezers Teacup Travels


Tweezers

Great Aunt Lizzie tells the story of Charlotte and the Adventure of the Viking Tweezers. Charlotte comes across a great Viking warrior, but he has a splinter in his hand.


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Transcript


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Here they come, my two intrepid explorers...

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..Charlotte and Lokesh.

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I'm their Great Aunt Lizzie, you see,

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and I wonder which one is coming to see me today.

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Your turn!

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Ah, so it's Charlotte.

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Hello, Charlotte.

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Hello, Great Aunt Lizzie.

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Once upon a time, I travelled

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the world, discovering treasures from long ago and far away,

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and no end of stories to remind me.

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But my most precious possession of all

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is my extraordinary collection of teacups.

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Here we are.

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No time to count to the clouds.

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Let's have a nice cup of tea and a story.

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But first, we need the teacup.

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But which one?

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-That one.

-Ah.

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The Viking tweezers.

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The Vikings used tweezers?

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Yes. Without them, the Vikings might not have conquered as much

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of the world as they did.

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Because of tweezers?

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Yes, because of tweezers.

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Can I smell flapjack, Great Aunt Lizzie?

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You'll have to wait and see.

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So let me tell you the story of

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Charlotte and the Adventure of the Viking Tweezers.

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The story of how little things have great consequences.

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And it all happened in the land of wild, forested mountains,

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and shimmering fjords.

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The rising sun was burning off the morning mist,

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and all around was the soft, bright hum of spring...

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when Charlotte began to hear what sounded like a disagreement.

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-But it's a big day tomorrow, Osmund. A big day.

-Oh, I know.

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-Come on, let me see it.

-Get off!

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-It can't be that bad.

-Not that bad?

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I'm supposed to lead King Harald Fairhair's army in the morning -

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I can't pick up my sword and fight the enemy.

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-Think about it, it's only a...

-It's only what, Einar?

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HE SIGHS

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Well, what are you going to do?

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I don't know.

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I'm the king's champion, and I can't even lift my sword.

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CRACK!

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What's that?

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Which seemed like a good moment for Charlotte to see

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what all the fuss was.

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Excuse me?

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The two warriors rose as big as giants.

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But they weren't so scary as to frighten Charlotte.

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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I was travelling to the sea, I noticed you complaining.

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I don't complain. I'm King Harald's champion.

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-You were shouting about your hand.

-No!

-No, no, no.

-But I thought...

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-No, no.

-It's nothing.

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-How is it nothing if you can't lift your sword?

-Just a splinter.

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-Einar!

-A splinter? That's easy.

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I can fix that with a pair of tweezers.

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-I use them all the time.

-Oh, you're a shield maiden?

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She can't be. A real shield maiden would have real Viking tweezers.

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You can't fix the sword hand of Osmund the Brave with those.

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He's very precious about his sword hand.

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I've already told you, you've got to go to Svanhild, the shield maiden.

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How would I get there? If anyone sees my splinter, they'll

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think the gods are against us and disaster will be ours.

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Then, Charlotte realised there was more than one way to help.

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Why don't I go and ask her to come here?

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That'd be very helpful, thank you.

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I'll be as quick as quick as I can.

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So off she went in search of the shield maiden

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and the right kind of tweezers.

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Charlotte came to another little house,

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only to find a woman rushing out of the door.

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-Hello.

-Hello.

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Are you coming along to join the army, too, dearie?

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No, it seems like a very good army, but I'm not sure I'd fit in.

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Nonsense. You could be a shield maiden, like me.

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You're the shield maiden?

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Thank goodness. You see,

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I've come because Osmund the Brave needs a shield maiden.

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(He's got a splinter.)

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A splinter?

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And I suppose he won't come and see me himself

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because if anyone sees his hand all bandaged up,

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they'll think of the gods are against us?

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Nonsense.

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Truth is, he can fight the terrifying Saxon hordes,

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but is scared of a pair of tweezers.

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He's not the first, I've heard it all before.

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I tried to use these, but he said they were the wrong kind.

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Let me see.

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Well, I can't hang around for a man with a splinter,

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and you seem to know what you're doing.

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These are my old ones.

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You take them,

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because when you have these, you are a shield maiden.

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Thank you.

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They were certainly tweezers,

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but so much clunkier than any she'd seen before.

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And when Charlotte looked up,

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Svanhild was gone.

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But what IS a shield maiden?

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None of that mattered now - Charlotte had

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the right kind of tweezers,

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so helping Osmond the Brave with his splinter would be a doddle.

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I couldn't get the shield maiden,

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but I got the right kind of tweezers.

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He's not here. He said he needed to talk to the old gods beneath the

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Misty Mountains.

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If you told me where he is, I could go and find him and...

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And what? Hm?

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Give him that hard stare of yours so he can sit all nice and sweetie pie

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while you take out the splinter?

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How on earth could she persuade the mightiest warrior

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in the Viking world not to be scared

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of a splinter and a pair of tweezers?

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It wasn't quite lunchtime and, goodness, Charlotte was confused.

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How's the flapjack?

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Delicious. The thing is,

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I don't understand why a mighty warrior would be afraid

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of a splinter and a pair of tweezers.

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Was it the splinter, or is it the tweezers?

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I don't know. He's already got a splinter.

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So I think he's afraid of the tweezers.

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Even though he knows they'll make him better?

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He thinks it'll hurt.

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Well, he imagines it'll hurt.

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Every time, he imagined it worse.

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So he gets more and more frightened?

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-Exactly.

-If only he could stop imagining for a minute.

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Charlotte already had the tweezers.

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She would never give up without trying to help Osmund the Brave,

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would she?

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So off went Charlotte in her hat, bag and boots...

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..along the forest footpath...

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..and up the Misty Mountain Trail.

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When she was almost out of breath...

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..the path ran out.

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Charlotte took a deep breath.

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TENSE MUSIC

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BATS SQUEAK AND FLUTTER

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At last, Charlotte stood high on a rock,

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towering over 100 snaking fjords.

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But there was no time to stand and stare,

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Charlotte had to find Osmund the Brave.

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On the edge of a wooded hollow beneath the Misty Mountain,

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she saw a woman eating.

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Raspberries? Would you like some?

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No, thank you. I'm looking for a man named Osmund.

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He's very tall, and he had a bandage on his hand.

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Oh, yeah? Why would a stranger be looking for the king's champion

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on the eve of a battle?

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(He's got a splinter, and he needs help.)

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I'm not going to give him away to the first person who comes along

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telling me what I already know. Why are you so special?

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Do you have a special potion?

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-I've got these.

-You're a shield maiden?

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Why didn't you say?

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I'm so sorry. What was I thinking?

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The king's champion - of course.

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He's down in the gorge over yonder,

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looking for bees to bathe his hand in honey.

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Does he think that'll help?

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I told him he needs to get the splinter out first,

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but he's stubborn.

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You'll need more than a little persuasion for that one.

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You could maybe try distraction?

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By getting him to think about something else? But how?

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No idea. But then, I'm not a shield maiden.

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Raspberry?

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I'll think of something.

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Though in her heart, she wasn't sure what.

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-Thank you. Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

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On went Charlotte...

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..in her hat, bag and boots...

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..to where the distant sound of a waterfall

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mingled with the buzz of wild bees.

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-BUZZING

-Come on, bees!

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I really need honey to make my hand better.

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-Hello, friend.

-Hello.

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I've got these.

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May I?

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You're a real shield maiden now?

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Well, yes, but I don't exactly know what a shield maiden is.

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Can you tell me about them and what they do?

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Yes. The shield maidens are some of the most important people

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in our army. We'd have lost many a battle without the shield maidens

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there to fix the wounded. They even join the fight if they have to.

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I remember the Battle of Hafrsfjord.

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You should have seen their army

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pouring down to the sea to greet us

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with their axes.

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What? You did it. But I didn't feel a thing.

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Not one thing.

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Oh, my hand feels better already.

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Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

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The greatest shield maiden I have ever met.

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You're very welcome.

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May I?

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CLICK!

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And that was that - the whole kit and caboodle,

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Charlotte and the Viking Tweezers.

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I don't think I'd really like to be a shield maiden.

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-Why not?

-Those Viking warriors would have been scary.

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Especially with splinters.

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Were they really frightened of splinters?

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Yes. To row across the sea into battle, you'd need

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strong hands. Keeping them healthy was as important as having water.

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I suppose that meant the shield maidens were very important.

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The Vikings couldn't have done without them.

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Crikey, is that the time?!

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We'd better get going. SHE LAUGHS

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Well, who else are they for? Come on.

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Now, how did that get there?

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Home time, Charlotte.

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Thanks, Great Aunt Lizzie.

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-Cheery-bye, Charlotte. ALL:

-Bye.

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Great Aunt Lizzie tells the story of Charlotte and the Adventure of the Viking Tweezers. Charlotte comes across a great Viking warrior, but the king's champion has a splinter in his hand and can't pick up his sword. Charlotte thinks she can solve the problem with her tweezers, but it seems they are not worthy of such a task. She sets off in search of a shieldmaiden and the right kind of tweezers, but when she returns the warrior has fled.


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