Tyler The Dumping Ground: I'm...

'Attention!

'The My Life In Care videos are about to receive

'their world premiere in the TV room.

'The inside story of what life is really like in Ashdene Ridge.'

WHOOPEE CUSHION FARTS

'And next up, it's Tyler.'

I am Tyler Lewis.

Now, I'm sure you'll all agree, it's time to inject a little bit of magic

into these boring My Life In Care video thingies.

This looks very precious.

It's lucky I'm very careful with precious things.

'Magic's the best.'

It's just...magic.

GLASS TINKLES

That might not have gone so well.

Where's it gone?

It's the perfect fit, but not really my style.

Thank you.

I can't get enough of this stuff.

I would literally buy the whole magic shop if I could.

There's nothing like the feeling

of when you've got a room full of people hanging on your every move

while you make the impossible happen before their very eyes.

The way I see it, it's like you have your magicians

and you have your ordinary people.

And there's like a special bond between those of us

who can do magic.

There certainly was between me and Chanelle.

She was this really amazing girl whose dad owned a magic shop.

Could it get any better than that?

Close your eyes.

-I love it.

-Has magic always been your thing?

Pretty much.

I like how you can make reality seem like it isn't reality.

Never saw it like that.

'But sadly, even a master conjuror can't

'magic his way out of real-life problems.

'And my problem was that Chanelle was a disappearing girl

'in more ways than one.'

Everyone say, "Goodbye, Chanelle."

Bye, Chanelle!

OK, so, on three.

One, two, three!

Whoa!

-THEY CHANT:

-Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!

Cos no sooner than me and Chanelle met,

she had to move miles away to Ireland.

I might be back one day.

You know what this is?

What?

It's just bad timing.

'Maybe I might be able to get her to reappear one day.

'I guess I'll just have to keep practising.'

Anyway, lucky I'm so good at magic that

I can fix a broken heart just like that.

The thing is, though,

you can't spend all your time on a stage in a magician's costume.

For one thing, the hat plays havoc with your hair.

But luckily there is a way of using the same skills in real life.

And that...

That is the art of scamming.

A very useful talent to have.

-Move, this is really important.

-Why?

Tyler wants to find out who his dad is

and those two are too thick to do it themselves.

Hang on, you don't know your dad.

He met him, once.

-Flippin' heck! It's him!

-Who?

Michael Sutton-Allan, the multi-billionaire.

No way. Are you sure?

Check the photo, pin brain.

It is!

You should get a DNA test, take him to court. You'd be rich!

I want a finder's fee.

Tyler does have a better photo of him and his dad.

Let me see it.

With Johnny it was almost too easy,

but I've scammed some of the best in the business, too.

-You looking for Tyler?

-Uh-huh.

-He's in the garden with a mate.

-Who?

Big lad called Steve something.

Steve McLeavy?

That's the one.

Tyler.

Tyler!

Rick?

Who's done this to you?

Look, you can't tell anyone.

He'll kill me if he knows I grassed him up!

You can't let him get away with this.

-I shouldn't have gambled his money.

-How much more do you owe him?

20.

Take this and tell him if he touches you again, I'll kill him myself.

Cheers, mate!

MIKE CACKLES

No way.

I told you I could scam you!

Now, I'm not saying that every scam works every time.

No-one is perfect.

Take the touch-the-telly challenge we had here once.

..two, one!

I deliberately got myself knocked out early

so I could use my scamming powers to bring victory to our team.

-Watch this.

-Tyler, watch out!

'And this is the way it works with scamming. Some you win...'

What are you doing?

You better get another plate ready,

cos Frank is going to start chewing Rick's arm off any minute.

Hey, Frank?

There's football and then there's Special Sauce.

'..but some you lose.'

PHONE RINGS

Well, well, well, look at that.

Hello, Ashdene Ridge.

HIGH-PITCHED: Er...

-Hello there.

-Hello, can I help?

I was just wondering

if I could have the deep-pan lunch special with a bottle of cola.

I can't believe you're still hungry, Tyler.

You just had that massive plate of spaghetti!

Hey, Tyler, that is just pathetic.

I'm so sorry, did you think I'd have to answer it in the office?

Oh, er, sorry, can't hear you. Bye!

But as long as you get the result in the end...

We won! Yes! We won!

I did it, I won!

..that's what counts.

-THEY CHANT:

-Team Tyler! Team Tyler!

Idiot!

And now the moment you've all been waiting for.

It's time for...

..some comedy.

THEY GROAN

Cos comedy is definitely my thing.

-What have you done to yourself?

-I got into a fight, didn't I?

-You should have seen the other guy!

-Ignore him.

He's sort of like the house clown.

Well, he's not very funny.

'The way I see it, comedy is my gift to the Dumping Ground.'

My name's Eleanor and I love you, Johnny.

Should have sent you to that special home, not Kitty.

-Oh, you're so mean, but I forgive you. Give me a kiss!

-Get off!

'It's amazing the way I can cheer everybody up with my comic gifts.

'I shudder to think what this place would be like without me

-'to lighten the mood.'

-It's just noise!

I'm playing all the right notes, just not in the right order.

Leave my piano alone!

Why can you never have a laugh, Gus?

It's what makes you feel better.

Cos I don't understand funny.

'But it's like with anything.

'If you're going to do it seriously, you need to aim high.'

I am going to be the first person ever to make the Queen laugh.

No-one can.

'One golden rule...'

Will you vote for me?

If I laugh.

'..know your audience.'

OK, well, there were two sizzling sausages in a pan and one

of them said to the other one, "Is it me or is it hot in here?"

'Some will go for the verbal humour.'

And the other one turned and said, "Ah, a talking sausage!"

Badum-tish.

Tough crowd, eh?

'Others might be big fans of slapstick, like Rick...'

Oh! Come here!

'..and Gina. She was a big slapstick fan.'

'I'll admit, the super-soaker routine is a tough one to top.

'Especially with the accidental flour-in-the-face bonus finale.'

But you can't rest on your laurels.

You always have to be thinking bigger and better.

Argh!

What the foam?!

Grr...

TYLER LAUGHS

'But if you have the vision,

'the sky's the limit in your quest to bestow the gift of laughter.'

Idiot!

She's coming. Ready?

Do-do-do...

-Three, two, one...

-It's coming!

# Always... #

And if you follow up the visual humour

-with some classic wordplay...

-Tyler!

..then that, my friends,

is when you start moving into comic genius territory.

I've got poem for you.

-Tyler...

-Once there was a young girl called Elektra,

who got hit in the face with a squelcher!

-I'm going to kill him!

-Outside, now.

Tyler, this is no time for one of your silly jokes.

-This isn't over.

-Ooh, I'm scared.

But behind the super-confident performer,

there's a person that worries about normal stuff,

just like everyone else in Dumping Ground.

Or, as I like to think of them, my audience.

'I worry about things like...

'how to cope if suddenly loads of people want to foster you.'

You've got to call me back.

They are going to force me to get fostered.

What?

Don't worry. Maybe no-one will want you.

You're joking, right?

Who wouldn't want to take this face home?

I'm doomed!

'And never knowing your dad, that's bound to throw up a few worries.'

Say if you knew your mum wasn't fat...

but...

you'd never seen your dad.

What if he's a great big porker?

Even if your dad's a great big porker,

doesn't mean you'll turn out like that.

Are you sure?

'Having an artistic temperament

'makes you worry about all sorts of stuff.

'Like the mean things people say to you.'

You know something? You're not right up here.

-Don't say that!

-Why?

Everybody else thinks it.

'And when you've got an imagination as vivid as mine,

'you can sometimes overthink things.'

-Watch it!

-Can you hear that? DRIPPING WATER

-Hear what?

-That dripping noise.

You really have lost it, haven't you?

From what I hear, it runs in the family.

Your mum used to hear things, too, didn't she?

After all, you know what they say -

there's a thin line between genius and madness.

Who says that?

Usually mad people.

I wanted to know what happened to my mum.

What's brought that on?

She was mad, wasn't she?

She found it a bit difficult to cope, that's all.

If she's mad, then I'm mad, too.

Doesn't work like that.

She's got curly hair, I've got curly hair.

-Yep.

-She's got brown eyes, I've got brown eyes.

-Yeah.

-I've got all that from her...

Why not this?

You're your own person, Tyler. Not everything is inherited.

OK.

Time to talk about something a little more tricky.

My mum.

She's the only family I've got.

And it's funny,

because in some ways we hardly know each other at all, really.

We've spent so little time together.

So, come on, what have you been up to?

The usual stuff.

How about school?

Mm, same old.

You've grown.

Have I?

And what's with the hair?

I like it big and wild.

'But that doesn't stop her being the most important person in my life.

'Back in the day, when I had no contact with her at all,

'I just had to cling on to anything I could remember her by.

'Before it all went up in smoke, that is.'

-No, it's not safe.

-But my things!

'Yeah, thanks for that, Carmen.'

I'm so sorry, Tyler.

I haven't forgotten.

Still don't forgive myself.

It's all right, Carmen.

I've already forgiven you.

Is that something precious?

The only birthday card I ever got from my mum.

I'm sorry.

Sorry it's the only one or sorry you set fire to it?

Both.

Back then the thought of actually spending time with Mum

was like an impossible dream.

But you know that old saying about being careful what you wish for?

Well, the day Mum visited, I got to understand what that means.

How about an ice cream?

I'll be sick!

-That's £3, please.

-Erm...

Thank you.

Oi!

Come on!

Where are we going?

Just run!

What have you done?!

-Oi! Come back here!

-Mum!

'Not great, I know.

'But at least my mum is back in my life now.'

-I'll wait for you.

-For how long?

Two weeks, two years...

It doesn't matter,

because I'll always be here.

When did my little boy grow up, eh?

But I know one day we'll be together properly

and everything will be OK.

So I guess until then I'll just have to be patient.

And trust in the power of magic.