27/03/2012 Walk on the Wild Side


The funny talking animal show - featuring everyone's favourite animals, only this time they're chatting too.


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Transcript


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DOLPHINS CHEER

0:00:000:00:02

Is this CBBC? Are you filming me? Hey, guys! Look!

0:00:020:00:06

We're on telly! All right, mum?

0:00:060:00:09

Hey-hey! Do you want my autograph?

0:00:090:00:11

Ha-ha-ha! Too late, losers.

0:00:110:00:13

-So what do you reckon it is, Mylo?

-I don't know, Sebastian.

0:00:440:00:47

What have you been rolling in?

0:00:470:00:50

# I think it's poo-oo-oo-oo-oo

0:00:500:00:52

# He thinks it's poo-oo-oo

0:00:520:00:54

BOTH TO DOCTOR WHO THEME: # Poo poo poo, poo poo-poo-oo. #

0:00:540:00:59

Oh, it's hot today. Are you hot? You look hot.

0:00:590:01:02

-Yeah, it's quite warm, yeah.

-Yeah, but are you hot, though?

0:01:020:01:07

-Uh, a bit, I suppose.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:01:070:01:09

-But are you hot?

-All right, I'm hot.

-You're a hot dog, then.

0:01:090:01:11

-All right, I'm a hot dog.

-Here you are, have some ketchup!

0:01:110:01:14

-That's disgusting, Colin! Eugh!

-All right, touchy! Just a giggle.

0:01:140:01:19

Hot dog! Ha-ha! Ketchup!

0:01:190:01:22

Oh! Marvin and Phil are back from Corfu!

0:01:220:01:24

Oof, you all right, Marv?

0:01:240:01:27

No, Joan. Forgot the sunblock.

0:01:270:01:30

Got burnt. Ow.

0:01:300:01:32

You are going to need a shed load of after sun, mate.

0:01:320:01:36

-Ow!

-I did warn him.

0:01:360:01:39

As you can see, I have bronzed beautifully.

0:01:390:01:43

Night time...

0:01:430:01:45

..day time!

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Night time...

0:01:470:01:49

..day time!

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Night time...

0:01:500:01:52

..day time!

0:01:520:01:53

-What are you doing?

-I'm having a game of night time...

0:01:530:01:56

..day time!

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-Oh. How do you play that, then?

-Night time...

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-..day time! Like this! You wanna play?

-No, you're all right.

0:02:020:02:06

I'll stick to my Xbox.

0:02:060:02:08

OK, children. One at a time and no running. Right.

0:02:080:02:11

-Anita, Michael, Wendy.

-Yes, Miss.

0:02:110:02:13

Daniel, Johnny, Lindsey, Phillip, Fiona, Kirsty, Dennis,

0:02:130:02:16

Deborah, Sandra, Jason, Stephen, Colin,

0:02:160:02:18

-Ruby, Zack, Liam.

-Yeah.

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Serita, Amy, Megan, Adam, Jason,

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Angela, Shelly, Helen, Alan, Hillary,

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Dionne, Zara, Ollie, Marne, Joseph, Tina, Louise,

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Millie, Martha, Michael, Duncan, Daisy,

0:02:250:02:27

-Paul, Tanya, Dean, Nicky, Mike, Tanya, Andre, Julian.

-Yes, Miss.

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David, Anna, Suzie, Steph, Chris, Eamon, Rowena, Caroline,

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-Kelly, Asghar, Jessica, Carmen, Tom.

-Mm-hmm.

0:02:340:02:37

Andrew, Lisa, Angus, Ralph, Martin, Oscar,

0:02:370:02:39

-Annamarie and Olivia. Right, where's Tallulah?

-She's sick, miss.

0:02:390:02:43

Well, she'd better not be at Latitude!

0:02:430:02:46

TO THE THEME OF DOCTOR WHO: # Poo poo poo

0:02:460:02:49

# Poo-poo-poo poo-poo-poo

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-# I think it is poo. #

-# Poo-poo-poo. #

0:02:520:02:54

Actually, I rather hope it isn't poo.

0:02:540:02:58

SONG: "Wanna be Startin' Somethin'" by Michael Jackson

0:02:580:03:02

# Startin' somethin'

0:03:070:03:08

# Startin' somethin'

0:03:080:03:11

# Startin' somethin'

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# Startin' somethin'

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# Yeah, yeah

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# Yeah, yeah.

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# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. #

0:03:180:03:20

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 99, 100. Coming, ready or not.

0:03:220:03:25

-99, 100. Coming, ready or not.

-Eh?

0:03:250:03:28

-Eh?

-What? What's going on?

0:03:280:03:29

-Hang on. Who's hiding, who's seeking?

-I'm seeking!

-I'm seeking.

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ALL: I'm seeking! I said I'm seeking!

0:03:330:03:36

-I'm hiding.

-Hang on. Who's got the rules?

-Rules?

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-You don't need rules for hide and seek!

-You do. This is a shambles.

0:03:390:03:42

I didn't think we'd need them so I put them in the recycling! Ha-ha-ha!

0:03:420:03:46

Look, one person seeks and everyone else hides. Got it?

0:03:460:03:48

-Stop shouting!

-You stop shouting!

0:03:480:03:50

I'm only shouting cos you're shouting!

0:03:500:03:52

CAN WE ALL STOP SHOUTING, PLEASE?

0:03:520:03:54

Right. If everyone's going to shout, I'm off.

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Hang on, I'm still hiding. Are we still playing or what?

0:03:570:04:01

MUFFLED SPEECH: So like the Great Houdini,

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I will dangle high in the sky from a single brunch.

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I will eat nothing, I will drink nothing. I will simply hang.

0:04:110:04:15

This is more than an illusion.

0:04:160:04:18

More than magic. This is genuine magic.

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No-one has ever done anything like this before.

0:04:200:04:23

-Hello, David. How's it hanging?

-All right, Robert?

0:04:230:04:27

AARGH! AAAH! CRASH

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Oof. Oh, dear.

0:04:300:04:32

Oh, no. you idiot. Oh, this is very embarrassing. Argh.

0:04:350:04:39

HEAVY ROCK INTRO

0:04:390:04:42

All right? What you lookin' at?

0:04:490:04:51

Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer.

0:04:510:04:55

Hey, I was watching that Night Garden the other day

0:04:550:04:58

on that little kiddywink channel, right?

0:04:580:05:01

As far as I can make out, there's this little blue fella,

0:05:010:05:04

Igglepiggle, who has got no mates.

0:05:040:05:07

And he gets in a boat.

0:05:070:05:09

When he gets there it's all,

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"Oopsydaisy, Makka Pakka, Racca Whacca,

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"Ninky Nonk, Pinky Poo, Haahoo, Tombliboo, knock on the door."

0:05:120:05:16

It's proper lovely. Brilliant show.

0:05:160:05:19

-Mr Claus!

-Mr Claus!

0:05:190:05:21

Where are you?

0:05:210:05:24

Whose stupid idea was it to bury him?

0:05:240:05:27

-It's just a bit of fun.

-We are never going to find him.

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-How long has it been now?

-Three hours.

0:05:300:05:34

BOTH: Three hours?

0:05:340:05:36

Santa, it's Blitzen. If you can hear me, say, "Jingle bells."

0:05:360:05:39

Mrs Claus will kill us. This is worse than when we shaved his beard off.

0:05:390:05:43

HE GIGGLES

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-That was a laugh though, wasn't it?

-It was. Yeah, yeah.

0:05:450:05:48

-Hey, Anna. Have you tried that new toothpaste?

-Yeah. It's 'orrible.

0:05:480:05:53

Are you sure it's not bubble bath?

0:05:530:05:54

Of course not. Norma, have you tried that new toothpaste?

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It's disgusting! It's made my gums go numb. I've lost control of my lips.

0:05:580:06:03

I think it's nice. Minty fresh.

0:06:030:06:06

What's your name and where do you come from?

0:06:080:06:10

-My name's Ian the bear and I'm from King's Lynn.

-OK.

0:06:100:06:14

And what are you going to sing for us today?

0:06:140:06:17

I'd like to sing Angels by Robbie Williams.

0:06:170:06:20

-OK. Go ahead.

-CLEARS THROAT

0:06:200:06:23

OK. Here we go. The mic's a bit high.

0:06:230:06:26

# And through it all she offers me protection.

0:06:260:06:31

# A little love and... #

0:06:310:06:33

-MIC FEEDS BACK Aw, I've done it now.

-Next.

0:06:330:06:37

Phew. Hot again today. You still hot? You look hot.

0:06:370:06:41

-I won't fall for that again, Colin.

-You look hot. You must be hot.

0:06:410:06:44

I told you, I'm not falling for that again.

0:06:440:06:46

-You still look hot, though.

-You must think I'm a right doughnut.

0:06:460:06:50

You're a doughnut? Here you are, have some jam, then.

0:06:500:06:52

Eugh! You're disgusting, Colin. I'm off.

0:06:520:06:55

All right, Mr Touchy. It's only a giggle.

0:06:550:06:57

-Aargh.

-Doughnut!

0:06:570:06:59

HE GIGGLES Jam.

0:06:590:07:01

Oi, oi! Got a trick for you.

0:07:010:07:03

I will prove that zebras have nothing between their ears.

0:07:030:07:06

Here we go. Abracadabra. Hocus pocus, et cetera.

0:07:060:07:09

-DRUM ROLL

-Ta-da!

0:07:090:07:11

# Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit Yup yup rabbit yup rabbit

0:07:130:07:16

# Rabbit bunny jabber yup rabbit bunny yup yup rabbit bunny jabber yup

0:07:160:07:20

# Yup yup rabbit yup yup yup jabber rabbit. #

0:07:200:07:22

# He's big and he's brave and he's not feeble. Andy... #

0:07:240:07:26

The unflappable eagle.

0:07:260:07:29

One thing I'm not afraid of is goats.

0:07:290:07:32

No-one ever said, "Andy the eagle's afraid of goats." No, sirree.

0:07:320:07:35

-Goats don't bother me none.

-BOO!

0:07:350:07:38

-AARGH!

-Sorry, Andy!

0:07:380:07:40

I forgot you were afraid of goats!

0:07:400:07:42

No, you just surprised me, that's all.

0:07:420:07:44

SIGH Here he is. Jumping Justin.

0:07:450:07:48

Good day to you, boys.

0:07:480:07:50

"Look at me, I'm jumping Justin. See how I prance, what-what?"

0:07:500:07:53

It's called style, Leonard. Style. And you're a savage.

0:07:530:07:56

-"Oh! I'm jumping Justin."

-"No, I'm jumping Justin."

0:07:560:07:59

-"I'm jumping Justin!"

-"I'm jumping Justin!"

0:07:590:08:03

No, I'm jumping Justin.

0:08:030:08:04

-You're all fools. Goodbye.

-ALL: Oooh!

0:08:040:08:07

-He is cool, though.

-Yeah, nice moves.

0:08:090:08:12

-I follow him on Twitter.

-Yeah, me too.

0:08:120:08:15

-Hang on. Weren't you here before?

-No.

0:08:180:08:20

-My name is not Ian the bear and I'm not from King's Lynn.

-OK, then.

0:08:200:08:23

Who would you say you're most like?

0:08:230:08:27

-I see myself as Lady Gaga.

-All right.

0:08:270:08:30

-Best of luck.

-All right. Here we go.

0:08:300:08:33

CLEARS THROAT

0:08:330:08:35

Still a bit high.

0:08:350:08:37

# Raa-raa raah-aah

0:08:370:08:40

# Roma ma-aah-ah. #

0:08:400:08:41

Ow! HE SHOUTS

0:08:410:08:43

Next.

0:08:450:08:47

Mm. Ooh! Oh, this is lovely! What did I tell you?

0:08:490:08:53

"Don't drink the water!"

0:08:530:08:56

Your granddad's talking rubbish, it's beautiful!

0:08:560:08:58

What about the curse?

0:08:580:09:00

Curse shmurse. Nothing wrong with it.

0:09:000:09:02

SPOOKY VOICE: Do not drink the water!

0:09:020:09:05

Where did that come from? Leg it!

0:09:050:09:07

Let's go, Pete! It's the curse! The curse of the frozen monkey!

0:09:070:09:13

Stuff the curse! This is lovely! Drink some!

0:09:130:09:17

-HE WHIMPERS

-The curse, Pete, the curse!

0:09:170:09:20

Drink and be happy.

0:09:200:09:21

What's the worst that can happen?

0:09:210:09:24

Mike? Mike? I can't feel me face.

0:09:250:09:29

Is it moving? Is it moving? I can't move it!

0:09:300:09:34

I can see and hear but I can't move. I think I've lost my sense of smell.

0:09:340:09:39

BREAKS WIND

0:09:400:09:42

Oh, no. the smell's still working.

0:09:420:09:45

I wish I could turn my face away from that.

0:09:450:09:48

-HE GROANS

-That is lethal.

0:09:480:09:52

-Aa-aa-aa-aa-aah sticky tongue!

-Ew.

0:09:550:09:57

A-ha! Sorry, Charlie, my sticky's gone.

0:09:570:10:00

Better get that looked at.

0:10:000:10:02

Who's this here then, eh? Whose little head is that, eh?

0:10:020:10:06

Whose little head is getting a nibble, eh?

0:10:060:10:08

Whose little shoulder is that, eh? Aww, whose little chest is that?

0:10:080:10:12

Whose little... give me a little nibble there.

0:10:120:10:15

Whose little wing is this, eh?

0:10:150:10:18

Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo! Whose...

0:10:180:10:22

Mine!

0:10:220:10:27

It's mine, Mum.

0:10:270:10:29

-I was only messing about, son.

-I'm 23!

0:10:290:10:34

Ah, this is the spot, peace and quiet. All on my lonesome.

0:10:350:10:38

No one around, life is good.

0:10:380:10:40

-Hello!

-Oh no, who's this?

-Who's this?

0:10:400:10:42

-I just said that.

-I just said that.

0:10:420:10:44

-What are you doing?

-What are you doing?

0:10:440:10:46

-Are you copying me?

-Are you copying me?

0:10:460:10:48

-Will you stop it?

-Will you stop it?

-Oh, you're so annoying!

0:10:480:10:50

Yes, I am annoying mirror bird. What you do, I do.

0:10:500:10:53

Where you go, I go. Hang on, where did he go?

0:10:530:10:57

# Its Tony, Tony, The Easily Impressed Chimpanzee. #

0:10:580:11:03

Wow.

0:11:030:11:04

Oh my word.

0:11:050:11:10

That is amazing.

0:11:100:11:14

Wow. Sheila, Sheila, come and have a look at this.

0:11:150:11:19

What is it?

0:11:190:11:20

There's this massive round yellow ball of fire in the air.

0:11:200:11:25

Oh, Tony, that's just the sun.

0:11:250:11:31

The sun. Wow. Wow.

0:11:310:11:34

The sun. Awesome.

0:11:340:11:37

SINGING ALONG TO HEADPHONES

0:11:400:11:42

Oh, Dave. Dave, take your headphones out, mate. I'm stuck.

0:11:420:11:44

Dave. Dave, take your headphones... Dave, I'm stuck!

0:11:440:11:51

Dave. Dave! I've got my fingers stuck in the dung! Dave!

0:11:510:11:56

HE SINGS LOUDER

0:11:560:11:59

-Dave! Dave, I'm stuck! Dave! Dave!

-Dave!

-Dave, I'm stuck!

0:11:590:12:06

David! I don't believe this. Can you not hear me?

0:12:080:12:13

David! David, David!

0:12:130:12:16

Dave, Dave, Dave!

0:12:160:12:21

Tick.

0:12:210:12:22

Tock.

0:12:240:12:25

Tick.

0:12:270:12:29

Tock.

0:12:290:12:31

What you doing?

0:12:310:12:32

Tick. I'm Clockwork Orange monkey. Tock.

0:12:320:12:36

All right, What time's it then?

0:12:360:12:40

-Tick.

-At the third swing it will be... Tock. Ape o'clock precisely.

0:12:400:12:43

Tick!

0:12:430:12:46

And they're off! Away first time in this year's Crab Grand National.

0:12:490:12:51

Sideways Glance shows early followed by Nipping Boy,

0:12:510:12:54

then Giving It All That then Delicious Steamed and then Pincer Movement.

0:12:540:12:57

We have Crusty Crustacean and Soon To Be Paste,

0:12:570:12:59

and I'm Not a Lobster Nor Do I Taste Like One is bringing up the back of the field.

0:12:590:13:03

Giving It All That takes over from Sideways Glance

0:13:030:13:05

and Nipping Boy is clawing his way back. What's this?

0:13:050:13:07

I'm Not A Hermit and I'm Actually Quite Outgoing is coming out of his shell nicely.

0:13:070:13:11

Just two furlongs to go and it's Giving It All That

0:13:110:13:13

followed by Nipping Boy. Delicious Dean, Crusty Crustacean almost fell there.

0:13:130:13:16

Pincer Movement a little bit shellfish and as

0:13:160:13:18

we go into the home stretch it's Nipping Boy, Giving It All That

0:13:180:13:21

then Crusty Crustacean then I'm Not a Hermit I'm Actually Quite Outgoing

0:13:210:13:25

making a scuttle from the back of the field. But it's Nipping boy,

0:13:250:13:28

followed by Pincer Movement. Nipping Boy takes it by a claw!

0:13:280:13:32

MUSIC: "Chop Suey" by System of a Down

0:13:320:13:34

Wait for it. Wait. It's coming up. It's coming up!

0:13:340:13:38

Now!

0:13:400:13:42

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

0:13:420:13:44

It hurts a bit!

0:13:470:13:49

Dougie, can I have a wee go on your echo chamber botty?

0:13:520:13:56

-No, you cannae, Duncan.

-Ach, please, it's a right laugh.

0:13:560:13:59

ECHOES

0:13:590:14:01

See? Your botty agrees with me.

0:14:010:14:03

ECHOES

0:14:030:14:04

Show some respect. Dinnae draw attention to my botty defect, Duncan.

0:14:040:14:08

-It's embarrassing.

-It's not embarrassing, Dougie.

0:14:080:14:10

You should be proud of a talking botty.

0:14:100:14:13

ECHOES

0:14:130:14:14

HE BEATBOXES

0:14:140:14:18

# He's big and he's brave and he's not feeble -

0:14:290:14:32

-Andy,

-The Unflappable Eagle. #

0:14:320:14:34

One thing I am not afraid of is ghosts.

0:14:340:14:36

No-one ever said Andy the Eagle's afraid of ghosts. No sirree.

0:14:360:14:39

Spend the night in a haunted house, no problem. Ghosts don't bother me.

0:14:390:14:42

GHOSTLY HOWL

0:14:420:14:45

-Argh!

-Oh, sorry, Andy! I forgot you were afraid of ghosts!

0:14:450:14:48

You just caught me unawares, that's all!

0:14:480:14:51

Excuse me, mate, I think you're in my stand.

0:14:510:14:53

-Just stand somewhere else, mate.

-No, look, I've reserved this space here.

0:14:530:14:57

-Could you move on?

-No, I'm not moving, you move.

0:14:570:15:00

-What, you going to move or not?

-Not.

-Right, that's it.

-Get off!

0:15:000:15:03

-Just move, will you?

-You move.

-You move.

-You move.

0:15:030:15:06

-Move!

-You move.

-Move!

-You move.

-Move.

-Move.

0:15:060:15:10

-Move.

-No.

-Move.

-No.

-Move.

-No.

0:15:100:15:13

-Move, move, move, move.

-No, no, no, no.

0:15:130:15:18

-Oh, forget it!

-No.

0:15:180:15:19

# Shrew, shrew, shrew, going to do shrew conga

0:15:210:15:25

# Shrew, shrew, shrew, along the forest floor. #

0:15:250:15:28

Come on, quick! We're going to miss it.

0:15:280:15:31

I love it when they do a shrew conga!

0:15:310:15:34

# Shrew, shrew, shrew, along the forest floor

0:15:340:15:36

# Shrew, shrew, shrew, come on and do shrew conga

0:15:360:15:40

# Shrew, shrew, shrew, it's shrew conga night for sure. #

0:15:400:15:45

Oh, alone at last. Joanna, I love you so much.

0:15:450:15:48

You're not just saying that because there's no one around?

0:15:480:15:51

I don't care who's around, I can't hold my feelings for you any longer.

0:15:510:15:54

-Oh, Jason.

-Oh, Joanna.

0:15:540:15:56

All right, Jace. What's she doing here?

0:15:560:15:59

-You're not going out with a girl, are you?

-No!

0:15:590:16:01

-I am, really, Joanna.

-Oh, smelly old girls, eh?

0:16:010:16:04

Yeah, Smelly girls. I love you really.

0:16:040:16:07

-Aw, I love you too, bro.

-You are so dumped!

0:16:070:16:10

MUSIC: "Little Green Bag" by George Baker Selection

0:16:110:16:14

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

0:16:140:16:18

-Do you know what?

-I'll leave it actually.

-New coat and everything.

0:16:250:16:29

See you lot later.

0:16:290:16:31

Ah, this looks like the place. Finally get a bit of me time.

0:16:320:16:37

-Hello.

-Oh, no, not you again.

-Oh, no, not you again.

0:16:370:16:40

-Oh, just go away.

-Oh, just go away.

-Leave me alone!

-Leave me alone.

0:16:400:16:44

-Grow up!

-Grow up.

-Stop it!

-Stop it.

-Oh, you're so annoying!

0:16:440:16:48

Yes, I am annoying mirror bird. What you say, I say.

0:16:480:16:52

What you do, I do. Where you go, I go.

0:16:520:16:56

Oh, he's gone again.

0:16:560:16:58

Cu...

0:16:590:17:02

ckoo.

0:17:020:17:04

Cu...

0:17:060:17:07

ckoo.

0:17:070:17:09

Not Clockwork Orange monkey any more then?

0:17:090:17:11

Cu... No, I'm Cuckoo Clockwork Orange monkey now. ...Ckoo!

0:17:110:17:16

Still ape o'clock, I suppose?

0:17:160:17:18

Cu... No, it's half ape.

0:17:180:17:21

Give me strength.

0:17:210:17:23

...Ckoo!

0:17:230:17:26

Hello, hello.

0:17:420:17:43

Hello, you're a bit close to that telly box, aren't you?

0:17:430:17:47

-Oh, dear.

-You should really sit further back, you know.

0:17:470:17:50

Yes, It's bad for your eyes. We don't have a telly box

0:17:500:17:52

but if we did, we wouldn't sit that close.

0:17:520:17:54

No, if we had a telly box we would sit much further back.

0:17:540:17:57

-OK, lecture over. Cheerio.

-Cheerio.

0:17:570:17:59

-Toodle-pip.

-Bye.

0:17:590:18:03

Help! A little help! Help!

0:18:030:18:07

Just hang on, they said. We'll be back in a minute, they said.

0:18:070:18:10

That was four days ago. Four days! I'm starving! I am proper stuck.

0:18:100:18:16

Where are they?

0:18:160:18:17

Alfie, Oliver!

0:18:170:18:20

And then George goes, "You've totally bamboo-zled me!"

0:18:200:18:26

Classic George. Hang on, have you seen him lately?

0:18:260:18:30

No, not for at least four days. Weren't we supposed to...

0:18:300:18:36

Oh, rescue him! From that tree again.

0:18:360:18:39

It was definitely your turn to rescue him this time.

0:18:390:18:42

It was yours, Oliver.

0:18:420:18:43

-You silly bear!

-No, no, it was yours.

0:18:430:18:46

-It was yours!

-No, no.

-What are you like?

0:18:460:18:50

Look, it was yours, all right.

0:18:500:18:52

-Do you even remember where that tree was?

-What are we like?

0:18:520:18:55

George!

0:18:550:18:57

Alfie! Oliver.

0:18:570:19:00

Anyone. I really need the toilet.

0:19:010:19:06

Whose special day is this then, eh?

0:19:060:19:08

Who's Mummy's special little birthday boy, eh?

0:19:080:19:11

Who's a big boy now, eh? Who's another year older, eh?

0:19:110:19:15

Who's having jelly and ice cream, eh?

0:19:150:19:17

Who's going to make a special birthday wish, eh?

0:19:170:19:20

Who's going to blow out all his candles in one go?

0:19:200:19:22

Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo. Who's the...

0:19:220:19:25

Me!

0:19:250:19:31

I'm the birthday boy, Mum!

0:19:310:19:33

I was only messing about, son.

0:19:330:19:36

I'm 24. Today.

0:19:360:19:39

I'm fine, how are you?

0:19:390:19:40

ECHOES

0:19:400:19:42

Dougie, I've just had a conversation with your talking botty.

0:19:420:19:46

ECHOES

0:19:460:19:47

It's actually more polite than you!

0:19:470:19:50

Aye, very funny. If you move in a wee bit closer,

0:19:500:19:52

you can change the pitch and everything.

0:19:520:19:54

Go on, get right in there.

0:19:540:19:55

HE BREAKS WIND

0:19:550:19:56

-Echo that.

-Ach, Dougie. That's gone right up my trunk!

0:19:560:19:59

ECHOES

0:19:590:20:00

All right? What you staring at? You want some? Getcha.

0:20:110:20:16

I was watching that Deadly 60 the other day with that Steve Backshall.

0:20:160:20:21

Seen him? Running around after animals who claim they're hard.

0:20:210:20:26

He should show his little face round here, tell you. I'll show him

0:20:260:20:29

what's deadly. It's all like

0:20:290:20:31

scary spiders, don't touch that, poisonous snakes, terrible tigers,

0:20:310:20:34

jumping jellyfish, there's no antidote, lions that can fly!

0:20:340:20:37

Brilliant. Should win an award. BAFTA.

0:20:370:20:39

# It's Tony, Tony, The Easily Impressed Chimpanzee. #

0:20:390:20:43

Wow.

0:20:430:20:45

Oh, my word. That is amazing!

0:20:470:20:52

Wow.

0:20:520:20:55

Sheila. Sheila, come and have a look at this.

0:20:550:21:00

-What now?

-Sheila, it's amazing! There's all this blue.

0:21:000:21:06

Blue everywhere. It's like the sea but upside-down.

0:21:060:21:11

-Tony, that's just the sky.

-The sky.

0:21:120:21:17

Wow. Sky, wow. That is well nang.

0:21:170:21:23

LAUGHING

0:21:230:21:29

-Guys, guys, I can't keep doing it.

-It's so funny!

-It's hilarious.

0:21:320:21:38

All right, all right, once more, once more. You ready, yeah?

0:21:380:21:43

Yeah, yeah. Yeah!

0:21:430:21:45

OK, OK.

0:21:450:21:47

LAUGHTER

0:21:470:21:48

Picture the scene, yeah?

0:21:480:21:51

This horse, right...

0:21:510:21:54

Walks into a bar,

0:21:580:22:00

goes up to the barman, who says,

0:22:000:22:03

bold as brass,

0:22:030:22:07

"Why the long face?"

0:22:070:22:09

"Why the long face!"

0:22:130:22:16

Can you come inside and wash your hands now, please, Cristiano?

0:22:200:22:23

-Mum, can't Jamie stay for dinner?

-No, it's time for Jamie to go home.

0:22:230:22:27

-Oh, Mum, please!

-I said no!

0:22:270:22:29

-Jamie's mum lets him stay out.

-I'm not Jamie's mum, am I?

0:22:290:22:34

Jamie, come here, please. I said, go home!

0:22:340:22:38

Now, you - bath, now.

0:22:380:22:41

Axe me question, I tell you no lie.

0:22:410:22:44

Axe me no question, I play you music.

0:22:440:22:48

SNORING

0:23:000:23:04

BREAKS WIND

0:23:130:23:15

Huh? I think I got away with that one.

0:23:160:23:20

Ooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha!

0:23:230:23:26

Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Hoo-hoo-hoo!

0:23:260:23:29

-There's something tickling my feet!

-There's nothing there, Wendy.

0:23:290:23:34

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha!

0:23:340:23:37

Ah, I can't take this. I'm off! See you!

0:23:370:23:40

That was weird.

0:23:400:23:42

Oh, I'm feeling...

0:23:420:23:45

Feeling a bit run down.

0:23:450:23:46

I'll point you backup, mate!

0:23:460:23:49

WHIRRING

0:23:490:23:50

Oh, yeah! Much better!

0:23:500:23:53

-Thanks, Harry.

-No worries, mate.

0:23:530:23:57

Oh, I'm starving! Where are me crackers?

0:23:570:24:00

Have you seen our crackers anywhere, our Clive?

0:24:000:24:02

I've be looking for them meself. Have you seen our crackers, our kid?

0:24:020:24:06

No, I can't find them anywhere and I'm STARVING!

0:24:060:24:09

Have you seen our crackers, our Graham?

0:24:090:24:11

Erm, no.

0:24:110:24:13

ALL: Oh, Graham!

0:24:130:24:15

What?

0:24:150:24:16

# Shake, shake, shake

0:24:160:24:19

# Shake, shake, shake... #

0:24:190:24:21

Hey, Maureen, come and have a look at this!

0:24:210:24:23

Whoa, shake that booty!

0:24:230:24:26

# Shake, shake, shake... #

0:24:260:24:29

I'm all of a flutter! Ahh!

0:24:290:24:32

Who have we here?

0:24:320:24:34

Hello, gorgeous!

0:24:340:24:35

-All right?

-Check out his tail!

0:24:350:24:38

# Shake your booty!

0:24:380:24:40

# Shake your booty! #

0:24:400:24:42

# He's big and his brave And he's not feeble

0:24:420:24:46

-# Andy... #

-The unflappable eagle!

0:24:460:24:48

One thing I am not afraid of is boats.

0:24:480:24:51

No-one ever said old Andy the eagle's afraid of boats, no sirree!

0:24:510:24:55

If I need to get across...

0:24:550:24:57

FOGHORN HONKS

0:24:570:24:59

Oh, sorry, Andy! I forgot you were afraid of boats.

0:24:590:25:02

-No, I just didn't see you, that's all.

-Oh!

0:25:020:25:05

-I loved it! Let's do it again. Can we do it again?

-Yeah.

0:25:050:25:08

-When we do it again?

-Wait.

-Let's do it!

-Wait.

-When do we do it?

0:25:080:25:12

Wait, it's coming up. It's coming up NOW!

0:25:120:25:15

-ROCK MUSIC PLAYING

-Whoa, love it!

-YEAH!

0:25:150:25:19

-YOU ROCK!

-Oh, thanks!

0:25:190:25:23

Night-time...

0:25:230:25:25

Daytime!

0:25:250:25:27

Night-time...

0:25:270:25:28

Daytime!

0:25:280:25:29

Night-time...

0:25:290:25:31

Daytime!

0:25:310:25:33

-Oh, not bored of that then?

-Never! Night-time...

0:25:330:25:36

-Daytime!

-Ohh.

0:25:360:25:39

So, what you do at night?

0:25:390:25:41

Night-time...

0:25:410:25:43

Bedtime!

0:25:430:25:45

Night-time...

0:25:450:25:47

Bedtime!

0:25:470:25:49

Do you know how annoying that is?

0:25:490:25:51

But night-time...

0:25:510:25:53

Bedtime.

0:25:530:25:55

No way!

0:25:550:25:56

They've electrified the grass again! Ow! Ow!

0:25:560:25:59

Why do they do this? Why can't you lot feel it?

0:25:590:26:01

AHH! 1,000 volts shooting from me hooves!

0:26:010:26:04

Mum, is the grass really electrified?

0:26:040:26:07

Ow! Ow! Ow!

0:26:070:26:09

No, he's just a bit bonkers, dear.

0:26:090:26:12

I'm like a four-legged lightning rod! Ow!

0:26:120:26:14

Wait, I forgot about my leg. But the grass is electrified! Ow!

0:26:140:26:18

Why are you doing this to me? Wah!

0:26:180:26:20

# Doo-doo-doo

0:26:240:26:26

# The caterpillar conga

0:26:260:26:28

# Choo-choo-choo

0:26:280:26:30

# I'm on the desert floor

0:26:300:26:32

# Doo-doo-doo

0:26:320:26:34

# The caterpillar conga... #

0:26:340:26:36

Oh, I love this! Can I join in?

0:26:360:26:38

No, it's caterpillars only! No ants!

0:26:380:26:42

# ..the caterpillar conga

0:26:420:26:44

# Choo-choo-choo

0:26:440:26:46

# It's the caterpillar conga for sure. #

0:26:460:26:48

-Hello!

-Hello, are you still watching that telly-box?

0:26:480:26:51

You're not doing your homework.

0:26:510:26:53

Oh, dear, you should be doing your homework by now.

0:26:530:26:56

We don't have homework but if we did we'd be doing it.

0:26:560:26:59

Top of the class! Gold star's all-round!

0:26:590:27:01

-We wouldn't be watching that telly-box.

-OK, lecture over.

0:27:010:27:05

-Cheerio!

-Cheerio!

-Fare thee well!

-Bye.

0:27:050:27:08

All right, Chief? Word to the wise.

0:27:090:27:11

It's tough round here so you've got to gain respect.

0:27:110:27:14

It's about how you present yourself. You've got to look TOUGH!

0:27:140:27:17

When people see me on the street they know not to mess. I'm menacing.

0:27:170:27:21

What you need is a proper tough walk.

0:27:210:27:24

MAMBO MUSIC

0:27:240:27:27

Be lucky!

0:27:270:27:28

MAMBO MUSIC

0:27:280:27:31

Be lucky!

0:27:310:27:32

MAMBO MUSIC

0:27:320:27:35

Be lucky!

0:27:350:27:36

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:540:27:57

The funny talking animal show - featuring everyone's favourite animals, only this time they're chatting too. If animals could talk, they might say this was their favourite programme.


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