Episode 35 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS CBA Y035H/01 BRD000000

Greetings, one and all!

Hope your brains are braced and ready cos it's time for your essential

weekly catch-up in the world - nay, the universe - of CBBC.

It's Whoops I Missed The Bus.

We've got these two.

# Doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo... #

We've got these two.

-Are you even listening to what I'm saying?

-Nah, not really.

And we've got these, too.

Ohhhh, I've just done a little accident.

And keeping it classy from hither to thither are our vlogging duo,

Laura and Myles.

I've vlogged CBBC until the cows come home.

Provided the cows DO come home.

To live with me... Why do I live with cows?

So, this week, our boss has told me to make the jokes less cheesy.

Apparently, she Camembert it! Haha!

Yeah, that was terrible. Save me, Laura!

If you like quizzes and you like games

and if you've never seen a man put a sock into a cup of tea before...

Eurgh!

..then you'll like The Dog Ate My Homework.

After a hard day at school,

what could be better than a quick show about...school?

Now, two questions about this show.

One, do Dominique and Chris actually know the alphabet?

What are you doing?

I'm O.

LAUGHTER

You look like you're having a baby!

O... O... O? Erm...

And B - did a dog actually ever eat someone's homework?

Because my understanding of it was they liked meat and not paper.

Yeah, it does sound like a bad excuse, thinking about it.

Right, now we've cleared that one up, it's quiz time.

Now, I don't mean to brag, but I think if I was on this show,

I'd be pretty good.

Is that a thing people do nowadays, yeah?

Things you find at an airport.

Erm, trees!

Wait, no, that's just me looking outside.

-Conveyor belt.

-Socks!

-My answer is a shuttle.

-LAUGHTER

Oh, well, at least Summer's answers are a little bit weird, too.

Things you can put in a sandwich.

-Potatoes.

-LAUGHTER

I put mashed potato in my sandwiches.

What? Why?

The best part of the show for me has to be the random school disco.

-BOOMING VOICEOVER:

-SCHOOL DISCO!

-Oh, school disco!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

AUDIENCE CLAPS IN TIME TO MUSIC

Wouldn't it be great if that kind of stuff happened in real life?

Just every now and then, someone bellows "School disco" from the sky?

It'd make school a lot more fun.

Now, class, we're just about to move on to the sums we did last week.

-'SCHOOL DISCO!'

-DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

So, what I've learned from the show is you have to be very flexible

to spell out an M with your body.

LAUGHTER

And that answering questions under pressure is difficult.

Oh, suitcases! You find suitcases in an airport.

-Oh, and...

-'SCHOOL DISCO!'

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

I could get used to this.

I love that show. Chris is the best guest. Don't ask me why, he just is.

Anyhoo, time now for the best guests a show could ask for - it's you lot.

My favourite show is The Next Step.

It's full of love, drama and, of course, dancing.

I can't really do a pirouette, but I'm still good at it.

Chloe or Michelle's my favourite.

Well done!

Operation Ouch because it is really interesting

and you get to know new facts about your body.

I like it when Dr Chris and Dr Xand

do awesome experiments with their body.

Cracking! Next!

My favourite TV programme is Horrible Histories

because it is frightful, fascinating and fantastic.

I want to be a historian now.

Brilliant! Another!

My favourite show on CBBC is Whoops I Missed The Bus,

because Laura's very funny and so is Myles,

plus my favourite episode has been

when Laura has been dancing on her bed, then smack!

She's fell straight onto her bed. It was a very funny episode.

What a bunch of stars!

If you'd like to join our merry galaxy,

then what are you waiting for?

Get your keysters over to the Whoops web page to find out

how to send us your very own vlog.

Now, time for a tale of Petries, Johnsons, Dodges and dachshunds,

of true love and utter nonsense.

And it all began in Krakow.

Dodge T Dog here - the handsome one.

And I'm really excited cos we're heading behind the scenes

on CBBC's hilarious and wacky series, All Over The Place: Europe.

Today, we'll be filming

at the prestigious dachshund march in Krakow. Yeah!

Which is in Poland, if you didn't know that.

Dachshunds - or, as I prefer to call them, sausage dogs - come to march

in the parade from all over Poland and take part in different contests.

Me and Hacks have got loads of fancy costumes in the CBBC office,

but, I mean, look at these ones here!

Heheheheh! Oh, look at HER!

She's the most beautiful sausage I've ever seen!

I know, I'll have a word with the judges and see

if we can win the best couple award.

Then she will fall madly in love with me, ohhhhhh!

Oh, excuse me, are you one of the judges?

-Hi, no, I'm one of the organisers, actually.

-Yeah, you'll do.

Well, I'm particularly interested in the perfect couple.

There's a hot little sausage dog out there somewhere.

I don't know her name, but she's wearing a lovely little flower.

So, can you put in a good word with the other judges for me?

-I'm sorry, there's no cheating. I can't do that.

-What?!

-No chance.

Well, I'll take that as a yes.

She's going to be so happy with me.

I'm sure she'll tell me her name after this. Thanks!

A dachshund march is underway

and the All Over The Place film crew are hard at work.

Well, not all of them.

-What do you think of Poland so far?

-It's really nice, actually.

The weather's been amazing since we arrived.

# Ahhhh, love to love you, baby

# Ahhhh, love to love you, baby

# Ahhhh... #

Dodge? Dodge?

-Dodge?

-Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-HOW?

-Are you even listening to what I'm saying?

-Nah, not really.

Oh, I need to go. I'm hoping for a date with a sausage dog. See ya!

Haaaa!

He's such a diva!

It looks like Ed and Chris are taking part in the competition, too.

Good job I had a word with the organiser!

Time to collect our award.

-And the winner is Chris.

-Yaay, thank you very much!

There you go, don't chew it too much.

Chris Johnson's the winner!

What about me and my true love? Wait, you, come back!

There's been a mistake! Oi! Oh, no!

Well, it's time for me to head back to the CBBC office,

but I will never forget my time in Poland or my one true love,

whose name I still don't know.

One thing I do know is that no-one will ever compare to her.

Oooooh-whooa!

# Ahhhh, love to love you, baby

# Ahhh... #

Arooooo!

Lifebabble is a new show giving you little handfuls of advice

and insights into important things. I love an important thing.

In the first episode, they deal with the topic of siblings

and how to deal with having a brother or a sister.

My brother annoys me SO incredibly much! But he's always got my back.

What? How? You get your back... I'd get your back back if he's got it.

If your brother's wandering off with your back, get that back!

What happens when he turns around? Where's your back?

Are you just front? "Well, my brother's got my back."

Quite literally, in this case.

That's another great joke from me to you.

Keep watching for more, guys.

I could relate to this episode,

not because I have ever just lost my back.

"Oh, someone else must have my back."

Because I have a brother and we get on pretty well.

I know some people say that siblings nicking your things

is a common thing when growing up.

Mine never did, thinking about it, so I'm not sure if that's

because my brother wasn't satisfied with the quality of goods or...

I mean, we've got some good stuff.

"You don't want to try any of that? Help yourself. You can have it.

"You're not going to...?"

Keep talking, keep communicating - it sounds really simple,

but it'll do your relationship a world of good.

I like the use of animation on Lifebabble

that they use that goes alongside when people are talking

about their thoughts and feelings on the issues

cos it helps you connect with what people are saying, which I like.

Erm...

I did also notice there's a lot of vloggers on Lifebabble.

One vlogger, two vloggers, three vloggers, four... Five vloggers!

Hang on, what? Why have they not come to me for this?

This is the highest my voice has ever been! I could babble.

I could babble. I'm babbling now!

I could babble about life

and talk about important topics like family, growing up...

Dogs, as well.

I saw a massive dog yesterday and I just imagined sitting on its back

and riding off into the sunset and going on magical adventures with it.

I then saw a smaller dog

and made eye contact with it as it walked past

and I just whispered, "Hello, little friend," and it looked up at me.

We just shared a moment.

I called that dog Bruce.

Maybe there's something in that for why they haven't been in contact.

If they need someone to rant about dogs for ten minutes,

until then, I'll let the people who know what they're talking about

deal with the important issues

whilst I carry on talking about Arthur.

Not that Arthur isn't an important issue, obviously.

It's maybe the most important issue to my heart. I love that aardvark.

Lifebabble - it's a good show.

# Aaaah-aaaaah! #

No. No, Amelia, you haven't got what it takes.

Eight of the UK's most talented young singers...

THEY SING

..are going head-to-head.

In case you've been on holiday to Mars and missed it,

Got What It Takes is a brand-new series on CBBC.

The show where talented singers battle it out

for the grand prize of...

Radio 1's Big Weekend.

However, there is a little twist.

The judges are familiar faces... Well, to the contestants, at least.

Each sing-off, the mums are the judges

and will vote to decide which performer is the winner.

That's right - the judges are...

-BOTH:

-Their mums!

Oof, that's intense! Could you imagine our mum judging us?

# Catch a grenade for ya

# Throw my head on a... #

-Amelia?

-Yeah?

Can you please stop singing?

In this week's episode,

the singers had to tackle the song Riptide by Vance Joy.

-I love that song!

-Me too.

# I was scared of dentists and the dark... #

# Doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo... #

Wait, wait, wait.

Can we go back to the beginning?

# I was scared of dentists and the dark... #

Wait, is he saying "I was afraid of dentists IN the dark"?

No, it's "dentists AND the dark".

-DRILL WHIRS

-Ahhh! Dentists!

And if all that singing wasn't enough,

Lauren took the contestants to meet Flawless for a dance lesson.

One, two, three and four.

One and two and three and four.

THEY PANT

Got What It Takes? It has what it takes.

I've got a theory about Grace and Amelia.

They're adorable and they watch CBBC.

Now, I'm not saying that they're kittens pretending to be people,

but I did see them chasing a mouse once.

Which reminds me - it's time for...

Right, I'm sure I've seen this one. Yeah, I have, yeah.

Hang on, hang on, who turned out the lights?

No, no, I'm not doing this. Get over here and scratch my back, I'm itchy!

Oh, for goodness' sake, why are you filming me AGAIN?

I'm casually trying to watch Marrying Mum And Dad

and you're at it like the paparazzi. I think I'll catch some flies now.

Ciao, darling!

Ah, Wild And Weird,

catching up on some of the weirdest moments from the animal kingdom.

Hang on, am I sat in a box? Why am I sat in a box? That's weird, innit?

Oh, he's a good looking boy, that Eldon, in't he, girls?

I remember the days when boys used to pirouette for us!

I remember the days when Eldon fancied Emily.

It was a long time ago.

I've just done a little accident.

Got a wee beastie in your midst that enjoys

partaking in a spot of CBBC, by jing?

Why not film a 20 second clip of them

and send it in via the Whoops web page?

We'll give them a lovely voice and that!

What you thinking, pet?

In fact, now may be the prime time for them

to get their peepers on the box.

You, too - a goldfish can also join in.

But not skunks. They ruin the couch. Here's CBBC's weekly best bits.

'As the sun sets above us,

'the sharks' body language begins to change.

'Their movements are less languid and lazy, more mean and menacing.'

There must be ten or 15 of them around us at the moment,

all circling us with real intent.

They are some of the most menacing of all sharks.

'It feels like it might be time to head for the surface.'

I don't like the look of this.

She's ironed our pants!

And where's all my Temper Hearts stuff?

And my books!

SCREAMING

I can literally see my floor.

Everything... Gone!

Months of hard work, ruined!

# So I went online today

# Cos I had some stuff to say

# Something I read messed my head

# Logged off instead and ran away

# They said I'm not all that

# They said that I'm too fat

# I'm a waste of space I'm an ugly face

# So, thank you, trolls, for that

# Haters, we're sick of you

# And your twisted point of view

# Your spin's pretty rubbish, too

# But still we only wish we knew

# Why is it you hate yourself?

# Why is it you slate yourself?

# Cos the poison that you chat

# Just proves that you don't rate yourself... #

# Lady, running down to the riptide

# Taken away to the dark side

# I want to be your left-hand man

# I love you when you're singing that song

# And I got a lump in my throat

# Cos you're going to get the words wrong... #

WHACK!

And that's your lot. Go on, grab a dustpan and brush.

After we've finished cleaning this,

you can catch anything you missed on CBBC iPlayer.

Hang on, where you going?

You got on the bus, didn't you?

Fine, fine, all right, I'll clean the rest myself! Ohhh...