Episode 9 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Ladles and jelly men, CBBC-ers of all ages, it's the mysterious,

the vlog-tastic, the somewhat silly Whoops I Missed the Bus.

We've got an exclusive.

Ooh, I say...

We'll go anywhere, as long as we're together.

What's vlogger Tee Cee up to now?

And some of you lot are on the telly again.

Join in, join in.

BLOWS RASPBERRY

And it wouldn't be Whoops I Missed the Bus without a big helping

of our daredevil vloggers, Myles and Laura.

I mean, there is absolutely 0% daredevil activity going on here,

but I'm just happy I wasn't called a clown.

Right, let's get down to business, by jing.

King Myles, what CBBC wonder have you been watching?

Let us travel back in time to the world of Victorian London,

where people wear tall hats and brown robes

and we can bob our heads merrily along

to the theme tune of Hetty Feather on CBBC.

I just always want to bob my head back and forth when I hear that,

like life's going to be OK - it's not all bad.

BELL RINGS

Everybody dressed and then straight to breakfast.

And then there's a loud bell and you're back in Victorian London.

I think the most difficult thing about living in Victorian London

wasn't living in a hospital, but hiding.

What did I tell you? Matron's up to something.

They're hiding, but they are mostly hats.

Look at that, they're not even ducking. They're just there.

Even if they covered their faces with, like,

leaves and blended in with a leaf...

Where you going? ..it would still just look like

there's two hats hovering. We're hiding.

As well as the Victorian fashion decision of tall hats,

I'm also wondering if, back in Victorian London -

not having a go, Victorian London - but was the only colour just brown?

You've missed a bit, Hetty.

One more word out of you and I'll push you in those nettles.

That's enough talking over there.

How do people manage without popping in a bit of music, sending a text?

I love having breaks between my gardening

by texting my th...se... three friends.

You can't do that back in Victorian times, you've got to just garden.

Actually, it probably is good

that technology didn't exist around that time.

That's probably when your mobile goes off, just as you're hiding.

"OK, we're doing really well, just looks like two hats floating about.

"Oh, Mum!" You're doing your gardening, someone walks past,

"Are you doing your gardening work?" "Yeah, just checking my e-mails."

"It's Victorian England." "Yeah, just proves how popular I am.

"I'm already getting e-mails then."

-You've go find out where Colonel Brigwell is.

-Got it.

You're coming with me.

I do like how Hetty always seems to know what to do.

If I was in Hetty's situation,

"Myles..." - the programme's been renamed Myles Feather -

"Myles Feather, what do we do?"

"Keep gardening, hide in the grass, hide in a hat."

Seems some people are probably just meant to be

more like Hetty than others,

but maybe I'm fine just being Myles.

At least then I can hide in the grass, you know,

I can keep a lookout for Hetty, then.

I'm not going to wear a hat, though. I'll help you out, but I will not...

I won't wear the brown sack, sorry.

Myles, that was impressive,

but if I was to trust anyone keeping up the high-quality vlogging,

it would be you lot at home. 15 Second Fans, take it away.

I like CBBC's The Next Step because they have a lot of,

loads and loads and loads of drama

and they have loads and loads of history

and love story and stuff, so watch The Next Step.

Well done!

Well, my favourite CBBC show has to be Operation Ouch!

It's funny, it's gory...

it's very educational.

And it's just my favourite show!

Nice work.

Hi, CBBC. My favourite TV show is The Next Step.

because it's brilliant,

there's a lot of drama, I like all the characters,

my favourite character is Riley,

and I just can't wait for the next series,

so hopefully it will come on soon.

Nice one!

I like the bits in-between all the shows

because I especially love the show,

um...song.

# Join in, join in... #

INDISTINCT

# Join in, join in. #

What a truly tremendous performance.

And if you fancy joining the most exclusive vlogging club on telly,

just vlog about your favourite CBBC show for 15 seconds

and upload it to the Whoops web page.

You know you want to.

Now, if you like Myles's blog, you're in for a real treat.

You are going to love this exclusive secret scene,

all about new girl Blanche.

I got a hold of it, just for you. You're welcome.

I received your note, Mr Brunsdon, I came as quickly as I could.

And well you might, Gertie.

Two days ago, there was a fire in the store room.

A discarded match from a lamp and the place went up.

Two girls were working there at the time and one of them was yours.

Blanche Newbould?

Don't worry, she survived.

I see.

They both did. But word got out.

Under-age labour on my premises - I need rid.

Rid?

I beg your pardon, Mr Brunsdon, but Blanche is no concern of mine.

Oh, but I think she is.

If the law finds out I'm employing children,

I might be for the magistrate.

Of course, if I spout that one child is a foundling, so are you.

Alf... Oh, Alf, you wouldn't do that.

I want her gone, Gertrude, without a trace.

You can assure me of that, can't you?

For your own reputation.

-Matron.

-We meet again, Blanche.

No. I'm not going back to the hospital.

Oh, the hospital will not be your final destination.

-Blanche!

-I'm not leaving Jess.

Oh, don't you worry about Jess.

My friend Mr Grace has got a house full of children.

She'll have lots of fun there.

Let me go with her. I promised I'd always look after her.

Well, the child does have a point, Mr Brunsdon.

It might be easier if they go together, less fuss.

Please, Mr Brunsdon!

We'll go anywhere, as long as we're together.

And we won't tell a single soul about anything, I promise.

You're coming with me.

-Blanche!

-No!

-Don't leave me!

-You can't do this, Matron.

Jess, Jessie!

Your future is for me to decide -

never forget that!

DOOR SLAMS

What do get when you mix reading, school

and a big messy amount of spilt cereal?

I think I'll pass on the milk, thanks, Mum.

-Sorry.

-Seriously, is no-one going to clear up that cereal?

We got the book! Hot off the press.

The final chapter of Alien Adventures.

You've guessed. It's the schoolboy who could match Dennis the Menace,

the amount of times he gets into trouble, it's Hank Zipzer.

Chop, chop, chop.

And then, when no-one's looking, I slip into the staffroom.

HE CHUCKLES

And straight into the confiscation cupboard.

OK, Hank, I can already tell you that plan isn't going to work.

You're not invisible, you know.

-Hey, guys.

-LIFT DOOR PINGS

Or maybe you are. Everyone is reading books, everyone!

Like a zombie apocalypse, but with books.

-GROWLING

-Now, I love to read a good book,

but the one problem with a great book is

you completely lose track of time.

What's going on? You said you'd be round ages ago.

Sorry, Hank. We just got caught up.

It's the book, it's like some kind of addiction.

I think we've all lost track of time before - I definitely have.

OWL HOOTS

I was only supposed to be on the internet for an hour.

How was it bedtime already? I logged on at 9am.

What I like about Hank is that he doesn't give up.

Reading's difficult for him because he's dyslexic,

but he doesn't let that stop him.

Right, I'm not going to be defeated

by a bit of chopped-up tree and some stupid ink.

But, unfortunately, he doesn't give up on staying out of trouble either.

Oh, no.

Uh-oh!

..and how much you love and nourish literature, here at Westbrook.

Imagine what the world would look like

if books had never been invented.

Or, even worse, if words hadn't been invented.

We'd have to mime everything.

'Oh, I'm hungry.

'Great job.

'I... I am...

'I need a hat? I want a clown wig?

'What are you even doing?'

I want to dry my hair. I was acting out a hairdryer.

Let's just be happy that words do exist

cos I don't think I'm the biggest fan of miming everything.

However, my last mind today is called "the book read".

That means it's the end of the vlog.

So, who loves food?

Silly question, really. Of course we all love food,

especially when it's properly tasty,

and who better to teach us to make properly tasty food than Ramsay?

No, not as in Gordon.

As in Tilly. The Tilly Ramsay.

Matilda, where's my frying pan, please?

I've taken over the kitchen in this house.

-What are you doing?

-I'm looking for my frying pan. Tilly?

Tilly rules, OK?

That's it, girl. You stand up for your kitchen rights.

By the way, is it me, or are you wondering

how her dad made cartoon steam come out of his ears?

Matilda, where's my frying pan, please?

Like, wouldn't that really hurt? Because steam is hot and heat hurts,

because it's hot. And now I'm confusing myself.

And now my brain hurts. Now I'm hot.

But think about it.

Think how weird it would be if everything we said or felt,

I don't know, popped up on the screen for the whole world to see.

Relax, Tills.

I suppose it could make our lives a little bit more interesting.

But, on the other hand, it could get a little bit out of hand.

Like now, you can probably see everything that I am saying,

which is slightly weird and confusing

because there are probably lots of words on the screen right now,

surrounding my head.

OK, I think we can stop now. They get it, they get it.

You got it, right? Speaking of getting out of hand...

-Through your legs.

-This is much harder than it looks!

I quite like the fact that this is part cooking,

part how to perform in a circus show.

You don't often see that every day, together in one show.

I think I'd better leave it to the professionals, or Tilly.

Relax, Tills.

Nice job, Tills. I don't know about you,

but after all that jumping around,

I really could do with some food right now.

So, Tills, what's on the menu?

'My meat slider has got yummy melted cheese,

'lettuce, tomato and ketchup.'

This looks amazing.

'But will Scott and Dad think

'my dish is good enough to go on the menu?'

Whoa! Things are really starting to heat up, aren't they?

First, Tilly takes over the kitchen, now she's taking over the menu, too.

Oh, my gosh.

OK, I'm starting to get nervous now.

Makes two of us.

Will they go for it?

I think they may hold up. I think they may hold up to us.

Yeah. Nice job.

-Nice job.

-So you're putting them on the menu?

-We'll put them on the menu.

-Wow.

Between you and me, it looks like

Tilly is about to take over the restaurant...

CBBC, Whoops I Missed The Bus, the whole world!

Never mind Gordon, watch out, everyone!

Cheers, Tee Cee. What a great combination

of five-star vlogging and impressive hair.

Now, do you ever lie on the couch, with your pet, watching CBBC gold?

It's time for...

What You Thinking, Pet?

Why have you left your homework on the floor again, Sarah?

You know us dogs can't resist eating it.

Mm! Lovely bit of percentages there.

Oh, is that some literacy?

Don't mind if I do.

Hang on. I can't find my glasses anywhere.

Did I leave them with you, Georgia?

Is this Operation Ouch! or Blue Peter?

Oh, Lucy's looking pumped up these days, isn't she?

Look at them muscles.

Oh, look! Iggy, you're...!

Oh, Iggy this, Iggy that.

What about me? I was made for the telly, I was.

I'm going on strike till someone makes me a star.

Hm, that annoying little mouse trying to save the universe again.

What a goody two shoes.

Now, how can I get in there and ruin his plans?

I'm coming for you, Danger Mouse.

Watch your back!

LAUGHS MANICALLY

Good job, my fuzzy friends. If you're wondering

what thought bubbles are floating through your pet's mind,

why not record them watching their favourite CBBC show

and send it in to us via the famous Whoops web page?

What You Thinking, Pet?

Now, I'm officially out of words

to describe the awesomeness of this week's CBBC.

But, luckily, I've managed to fish out the very best clips.

Feast your little peepers on this!

MUSIC: Run Boy Run by Woodkid

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Look at the size of that!

It's come straight down. It's going to head straight into the water.

And it's got a young cub!

Two young cubs. Yearlings.

He's just jumped right into the water,

scattering salmon everywhere!

She's got one. She's got her first fish!

Look at that!

Around the country, hither and...fither,

I believe pets to be acting suspiciously.

Right. What are you on about?

-Well...I'm being suspicious, aren't I?

-Oh.

Like a little... Am I here?

Yes, I'm here. I'm really here.

I'm a dog, but am I really a dog?

Your hair looks nice, but...

..it doesn't, really.

-Do you see what I mean?

-Right, no, I don't. Get to the point.

What I am asking is this...

I'm calling on... Oh, no.

Time's up. But don't forget,

you can catch up with all of your favourite shows on the CBBC iPlayer.

That bus is packing up.

Am I going to catch it this week, gentle viewer?

Nah, off I trot.

This is going to be a long journey.