Type 4 Being Human

-This is not me accepting.

-Take him.

-You and your bitch will regret this.

Mark my words.

I didn't fetch you back here to do anything. Just...just be here.

All I've got is you.

When we transformed, did...

did we...?

THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE

& SCENES WHICH SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND UPSETTING

INDISTINCT SPEECH

Blood pressure dropping.

FLATLINE TONE

LOW GROWL

What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!

Aaah!

HE SIGHS AND GRUNTS

DOOR OPENS

FOOTSTEPS George.

-Mm-hm?

-Where's Annie?

Mm...er...probably off on one of her midnight rambles.

She doesn't need sleep, unlike some of us.

-Can I have a word?

-But...oh.

Can't it wait until the morning, or at least until after I've peed?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. After you pee.

I can't go now.

MUSIC PLAYS AND CHATTER

SHE COUGHS

NEARBY LAUGHTER

-<

-I want a go.

HE SIGHS

I think Annie might fancy me.

-HE SIGHS

-Finally.

You knew?

Oh, Mitchell, Annie is many things but subtle she is not.

You've rescued her from hell.

That kind of thing tends to turn a girl's head.

How long have you known?

I don't know. A couple of weeks. Pretty much since she came back.

And, for future reference, no-one says "fancy" any more.

-And you didn't think to tell me?

-Um...no, because I'm not 12.

Did you...did you seriously not pick up on any of this?

-That whole guardian angel business.

-OK, so she hasn't actually told you.

Oh, wow. We are 12, aren't we?

No, she hasn't told me she "fancies" you.

She doesn't need to. Her body language is deafening.

Jesus. What a mess.

-MUSIC PLAYS

-Get off me!

Oh, yeah, you're the big man, aren't you? Hitting, pushing a woman!

Arsehole! Yeah, and I wasn't stealing, by the way!

Those drinks were dead! Clear off, love.

Oh, why don't you take a picture, you nosy bitch?

-You can see me?

-What?

Ah! You think you're better than me, do you?

Little Miss Sodding High-And-Mighty, is it?

-Is it? Come on, then!

-No, not today, thank you.

But who knows? You... you two could be good for each other.

-She could be good for me. But...

-And you'll be good to her.

Of course. I'd never...

If you're thinking about doing this, don't go into it lightly.

This is no little thing. This is Annie we're talking about.

George.

You've got to know I would never hurt her.

-HE CHUCKLES

-Yeah, I know.

Sure, I was just...

So, are you... are you gonna ask her out?

This could be so cool!

I don't know. I mean, how would it even work?

-With a ghost?

-What do you mean?

Er...

Guys, I'm in trouble. There's a dead woman after me.

What...what happened? Are you OK?

I was walking past this club on Westland Street.

You know, that... that down-market version of Ritzy's.

Yeah, I know, like that's really possible.

Anyway, this dead woman got thrown out of the club, but... but she could see me.

-BANGING ON DOOR

-And she followed me home!

Why didn't you just "Rentaghost" home?

That would be...that would be because...

-BANGING ON DOOR

-I was under a lot of pressure, OK?

-BANGING ON DOOR

-I just got up for a pee.

-Slag!

-DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

I know you're in there! Snobby cow!

SHE SNARLS

-All right, come on, then!

-What have we got?

-Get out here and show yourself!

-A drunk dead woman, shouting.

You! I know you're bloody in there!

-That's not a ghost. I can smell her.

-Come on!

-You think you're so bloody...

-What, from here?

GIRL SHOUTS

Oh, yeah, even without the whole wolf thing.

Well, of course you can smell her. She's got a body.

I'm sure I mentioned that.

-So, she's dead but she's got a body?

-Which is rotting.

-This is not good.

-That's why I'm so scared!

If she was just dead dead, no problem. But that is just weird!

No, hold on. Hold on a second here.

I...I think she's gone.

FLOORBOARDS CREAK

SHE SCREAMS

Oh! I thought we were supposed to be the scary ones.

Go and check the window.

Go!

Go on.

She's mental! Of course she is.

There's a car slowing down. I think people can see her!

Well, of course they can see her! She's got a body!

-We've got to let her in. BOTH:

-What?

We have a shouting pissed corpse on our doorstep.

Right, and you want a shouting pissed corpse inside?

She's gonna draw attention to the house, Annie, to us.

-What if somebody calls the police, huh?

-Oh...!

Come on!

Well, she...she's stopped shouting.

What's she doing now? GIRL SOBS

Crying, I think.

And then just sitting.

-But she's still quite loud.

-She stinks.

SHE SOBS

Um...um...

Would...would you like some tea?

Huh?

DOOR SHUTS SHE SNIFFS

SHE SNIFFS Oh!

SHE SNIFFS Oh!

-Straighteners!

-Oh, God.

-Straighteners!

-What...?

What...what can we get for you?

Straighteners!

-Straighteners?

-Yeah.

Oh, good. Great.

-Because that will solve everything.

-Mm-hm.

Nina... um... can I borrow your straighteners?

Yeah, sure, course.

THEY GIGGLE

Er...George?

A dead woman with a body followed Annie home.

Of course.

-Here.

-You do it, babe.

-So, um...what do we call you?

-Anything you like, sweetheart.

-Ow!

-Oh, sorry! Look, you got caught there.

-Caught a little bit of your hair. Sorry.

-Don't worry, babe.

I can tell you're not used to a beauty regime.

Well, um...I'm Mitchell.

-Oh, hi, Mitchell. I'm Sasha.

-HER BONES CRUNCH

Like the Beyonce album.

CRUNCHING AND SQUELCHING SASHA GIGGLES

I'm Nina.

Oh, my gran was called Nina.

-Oh.

-Oh! Aren't you short?

Um...that's a... that's a beautiful dress, Sasha.

What a wonderful cut. Have you, have you been to a hospital recently?

OK. Confession time.

I was involved in a car accident. But, you know, it wasn't my fault.

I was texting while I was driving, but that's not making a phone call.

In my Beemer, Prussian blue, heated seats, all the extras.

I love my little extras.

SASHA GIGGLES

So, you died, did you?

-SQUELCHY CRUNCH

-Well, no. Obviously I didn't.

Yeah, but apparently it was touch and go.

Oh, and let me tell you, the doctors were very interested in me.

Wouldn't leave me alone. Kept on prodding and poking me.

And I said, "You'd better warm that up before you put it near me."

SHE LAUGHS

Ooh. I know, what is that smell?

-I think someone's in denial.

-How can she not know she's dead?

It solves one mystery, anyway.

The mortuary suddenly being off limits.

No, that was a chemical leak. Or they were hiding a zombie.

Oh, Christ. Are we really gonna call her that?

Well, dead body moving about?

Can I just take a little step back to point out how insane this is?

-Mitchell, what the hell is she?

-How should I know?

At least she's not attacking us. Don't they usually attack people?

No, they don't usually do anything, because they don't usually exist.

What about eating brains?

I don't know the rules. I know that she can be seen and she's rotten.

Mm-hm, I can vouch for that.

Do you think she'll continue rotting until she's, you know, soupy?

Oh! We should take her back. Whatever she is, she's not our problem.

She's the hospital's problem.

-Oh, I hate to say it, but I agree.

-Really?

Well, medically, we can't do anything for her here.

If anyone can help her, they're at the hospital.

OK, so we're all agreed.

Yeah, all of us but Annie.

Sorry about all that earlier, calling you a bitch and that.

It was out of order.

Oh, no, don't worry about it.

I was a bit pissed.

I wanted to get a bit of Dutch courage before I went home.

-Home?

-Yeah, yeah.

I thought, you know, bit of a drink, put on a bit of slap

and then go and see my fella, Gethin.

He's a scrum half for the Cardiff Blues, you know.

Ah, that's nice.

SQUELCHING

Anyway, um...you got a mirror?

Um...I don't actually think we do, no.

-I don't...

-I don't think your friends like me much.

What? No! Don't be...don't be so silly.

-They're just like that.

-Oh, it's all right.

Happens all the time, you know.

Guys get awkward, start showing off, and the girls get jealous.

I get it a lot.

So, um...what's Mitchell's story? Is he single?

No. No, he's my boyfriend.

-Really?

-Yep.

-Really.

-Wow!

You did well there, didn't you?

-Didn't I?

-Annie? Do you want to...

Please, yes. Good. ..and I'll take over for, um...

She has got to go.

Wow! That was easy.

Yeah, we thought we'd have to persuade you.

What with you both being dead and all.

She may well be dead,

but that is pretty much all I have in common with that...

that...chavalanche.

Great. That's settled. I'll leave it all in your capable hands.

-I'm going back to bed.

-Whoa, whoa. What?

Annie's invisible to normals. You can't be seen on CCTV.

I think you can manage sneaking one zombie back into a hospital.

Now, I am taking my lady friend back to bed.

Good night.

-What?

-Aw.

Good night. Night.

SHE GIGGLES

-Ooh.

-What's that?

That's the tag from her toe. It was stuck to her shoe.

Oh.

SHE HUMS A TUNE

So, um...how are we gonna convince her to go back to the hospital?

We're not.

-Not yet.

-What? Why?

Check out the time and date of death.

Let's pay a visit to the morgue.

-HE URINATES

-Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

HE STOPS URINATING

TOILET FLUSHES

DOOR OPENS

Nina. Nina?

Mm-hm?

Is this yours?

I thought, it can't be Mitchell's because he's a man,

nor Annie's cos she's dead, it can't be Nina's cos she's on the pill.

You're on the pill.

Why would you be needing a pregnancy test? Are you late?

-When were you thinking about telling me?

-Look...

-I was looking for the right moment.

-OK, I'm not busy now. Are you busy?

Fine. I'm pregnant.

-Oh, my God. But you're on the pill.

-Yes. I am.

But we had sex when we weren't exactly ourselves

and apparently, the pill wasn't designed with werewolves in mind.

But you know these tests can be wrong.

Look... Oh, I've done three tests. I'm pregnant, George.

It's happening.

Or rather, it's not. I can't... I can't...

I can't let this go any further.

Um...I'm sorry.

OK, so, um...let me get this straight.

If I hadn't have found this,

-would you have just had an abortion without telling me?

-No.

-I was planning...

-God. You were just going to do it.

-No discussion, no nothing.

-Don't you dare judge me.

This isn't some... some teenage mistake, George.

This is a child of...monsters.

I mean, who even knows what it could be?

Just the idea is terrifying.

It could be fine.

We're both fine! Most of the time.

-It's my body, George.

-Yeah, well, part of it isn't.

-Excuse me?

-There is part of me in there.

As the father, I have as much right

as you to decide what happens to our child.

HE HUFFS

I only got up for a pee!

DOOR HANDLE RATTLES

Is that blood?

Oh, that can't be good.

-SHE PANTS:

-I'm already dead. I'm already dead. I'm already dead.

'I'm already dead.'

-What's that?

-Where?

There.

Hey.

Bingo.

I don't think it was just Sasha.

I've got four subject sheets here.

All came back to life all at the same time.

I think they were testing them, trying to find out what they were.

How they worked. If it could spread.

SCREAMS ON CAMCORDER

I think they were scared.

'SCREAMS'

I know the feeling.

Does it say anything about anaesthetic in there?

Yeah.

Um...anaesthetic ineffective.

-How did you know?

-They did it anyway.

SCREAMS ON VIDEO CAMERA

What did they do...

with them afterwards?

Incinerated them...

as a biohazard.

Were they still alive when they burned them?

I don't know.

Well, doesn't matter anyway, does it?

Because they weren't really alive, were they?

And the dead don't feel real pain.

HE SIGHS

SASHA RASPS

SHE WHEEZES

SIREN IN DISTANCE

Funny, somehow I thought you'd be taller,

you know, close up, like.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

Oh, no. No, no, no. No. God, no.

No, it's just that, um...

well, um... it's just that I'm like you, you know.

OK, all right, easy, easy.

-So, you're a vampire?

-Yeah, yeah, I am a brother of the blood.

Name's Graham. Well, Graham was my mortal name.

But when I was reborn to the night, I took the name of Siddion.

Graham's fine.

Siddion, I don't know what I was thinking. It's a shit name.

Yeah, um...all right, Graham.

Um...I'm kind of busy right now so can I help you with anything?

Oh, God, I feel a little bit embarrassed now,

but I am a little bit of a fanboy.

-Or I could say fang boy.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

And I was a massive Neil Diamond fan.

Do you know Neil Diamond?

No, doesn't matter. But, um... that kind of gave me the idea.

So, now I'm on a sort of pilgrimage, you know, like a star tour,

and I'm visiting all the legends in our little world, so naturally...

-You came to see me.

-Oh, my God.

You are up there with the greats.

What you did in Bristol, it was just...

-Remind me again.

-No, wait. You don't need to be modest.

You got a whole chapter of vampires to renounce blood. Amazing.

Are those boots Paul Smith?

-Excuse me?

-Just wondering where you got your boots.

Yeah, listen, um...Graham, I have stuff that I really need to do, so...

Oh, God, yeah. No, of course. Of course.

Well, it has been such a privilege to meet you, Mitchell.

And, um...maybe I could catch you again some time?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. Maybe some time.

-SOFTLY:

-Brilliant.

-CLUNK

-Yaaah!

SHE GROANS

Oh.

Hungover?

-Yeah, yeah, just a bit.

-BONES CRUNCH

Er...where did you two disappear to last night?

Oh, to the hospital.

We went to find out what happened to you.

We know about the others and we know about the experiments.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think someone else has been drinking.

Oh, look, it's OK.

You're not alone.

We're all a bit... different in this house.

-How do you mean?

-OK.

Well...

I'm a ghost,

Mitchell's a vampire, and George and Nina are both werewolves.

BOTH GIGGLE

Fuck off!

Werewolves!

HE SNIFFS

Oh, no.

I'm ju... I've g...

Mitchell, wake up.

-She's still here.

-Who?

Who? Who do you think? She's a little bit mouthy, little bit dead.

There have been developments.

-What kind of developments?

-Um...won't be a tick.

Mitchell, is she still here?

-Yeah, there's been developments.

-I was asking Mitchell.

Can you guys keep it down? She can hear you.

Oh, great. Come on in. Apparently, we're having a house meeting.

Look, so...so what's changed?

There were others like her at the hospital.

They were experimenting on them.

Basically, they tested them to destruction. They burnt them up.

Well, look, that's a really horrible story,

but is this really the best place?

-She's got nowhere else.

-We do have a spare room. This was a B&B.

Oh, what? We're a supernatural hostel now, are we?

What next, a mummy?

Look, I have had ghost friends before.

This one just happens to be in a dead body.

Oh, so you're friends now, are you? You bloody hated her last night.

Shh! This is not about whether or not I like her.

This is about trying to do the right thing.

Look, she is rotting! She smells like off meat.

-Don't be so deadist.

-Excuse me?

It's like racist, but for dead people.

Have you just spent the whole night making up words?

No, I have spent the whole night watching footage

of screaming people being dissected.

-We owe her, George.

-We owe her? Why do we owe her?

She came back to life two weeks ago.

-All of them did, when I was on the other side.

-Saving me.

So, hang on, what are we saying? That death's door was engaged?

Her spirit couldn't pass over because of me.

We made her.

We owe her. All of us do.

Guys?

OK, the address is 37, The Mount, Cyncoed CF23.

WHEELS RATTLE

Have you got it?

Hey. Nice boots.

Mitchell, this is brilliant, the two of us working together.

Oh, my God. I wish I had a camera.

Not that it would do me much good, because we don't show up on photos.

Which is doubly ironic, considering what I used to do for a living.

Go on, guess, Mitchell.

-You can't work here.

-Bingo, photographer.

SEAGULLS CRY

Hey. You gave us a bit of a scare there, wandering off like that.

Oh, yeah, sure I did.

You don't have to worry about me any more. I'm home. Do you like it?

It's Gethin's money but my taste.

-This is not happening.

-Cara says hello.

What did you say?

Yeah, she got over that whole pretending to kill

and bricking her up thing.

You'd have to ask her, though.

-Where is she?

-Don't know.

She's around, though. Digging up trouble somewhere.

What do you want?

All I want to do is mop a few floors, Mitchell.

Is that too much to ask?

-Bring it on!

-BEEPING AND THUDDING

Oh, and the brilliant Welshman's dominated this round.

Here comes the big finish. It's a straight right.

GETHIN CHATTERS AND GAME BEEPS

No, no, Gethin's got him. He's got him.

Gethin's gonna finish.

BEEPING

Oh, he's got him. He's got him. He's got him again.

-You bastard!

-HE GASPS

This is how you do grief, is it? Playing on your bloody video games?

You should be in your bed, crying your eyes out!

-Um... maybe we should...

-Sasha! Jesus! God! That's you, innit?

That's really you.

What's happened to you? What's happened to you...?

-They told me you died.

-Yeah, well, plainly they were wrong.

-I was suing them. They'd lost the body.

-Consider it found.

-Sasha, maybe we should...

-Yeah, hang on! Did you mourn me at all?

Course I did, course I did! We had a wake and everything.

A lovely big party. You'd have been pleased as punch.

Oh. Do you still love me?

-Course I do.

-Mm.

-Stay back!

-What? But it's just me, babes.

Don't do that. I'm just the same as I always have been.

Your little pumpkin.

Get away from me!

-Oh!

-Eurgh. Eurgh.

Gethin!

Geth!

Shall I, um...?

SQUELCHING

Uh. Oh.

-Mm.

-Oh.

Wow.

Oh.

Right, I'm gonna just...

SHE GASPS

Um...we should probably go, Sasha, cos he's bound to call the police.

No, he's not. What's he gonna say? "My dead girlfriend came back..."

Oh, cos I am dead.

Aren't I? I keep saying I'm not.

But...oh, I can smell myself.

Oh, God.

Well, there are worse things than being dead.

-Just look at me.

-You can be seen and heard by others.

-And I can't.

-What, you're really a ghost?

Yeah.

But you've stayed so pretty.

Like the dead stay pretty in our memories.

You don't think of them like me. You never picture them rotting.

But I can feel it happening inside me like heat, like a compost heap.

And I know what happens when things rot. They don't last.

No, no, you don't know that.

I mean, who knows what the rules are to this?

I thought when I died that would be it for everything and it wasn't.

And it doesn't have to be for you.

No, we can...we can help you find your way. It'll be fine.

DOOR OPENS

HE SIGHS

Nina, I'm sorry.

I really wish we were normal.

I really wish we were having a nice normal argument

about the pros and cons of unwanted pregnancy

but...

we are not normal.

-And maybe...

-It's not always about the wolf, George.

So, what are you saying?

I've got other stuff, old stuff, going on in my head.

It's...

SHE SIGHS: It's not you.

It's not you, it's me.

No, it's becoming a mother

and, um...all that means.

You see, um...

...my mum used to hit me.

All the time.

For my own good, you know, and she...

SHE SNIFFS

...always reminded me that, um, I was a mistake

and, er...I'd ruined her life,

and I was worthless, and I would never amount to anything.

She...

she made me hate myself.

I'm sorry. You've... you've never said.

No, there's never really a good time to bring up that conversation.

See, this...this thing inside me, whatever it is...

..it's a baby...

and I will become a mother,

and that terrifies me more than any werewolf bullshit.

SHE LAUGHS

You see, I was...I was pretty messed up even before you scratched me.

No, you're not.

You are strong and you are beautiful.

You are not in this alone. I will always be there.

I'm sorry.

It's not enough, George.

MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

-Are we having a party?

-Er...not quite.

It's getting-ready music. Girlie night out.

Thought Sasha needed something to cheer her up,

such as getting pissed in a loud, dark room that smells of sick.

Yeah, it is a fine tradition, but, er...

-Mm-hm?

-..won't she be seen?

Ah. Make-up.

Works wonders. Mm-hm!

HE SNIFFS

-And how are you?

-Me?

-Uh-huh.

-Oh, you know me.

Always chipper.

I never use the word chipper. I don't know why I used it then.

And you? Yourself? You. Are you...are you great today?

-Are you milking a cow in there?

-Ha-ha-ha!

So funny. Oh.

I must say, Mitchell, your old friend is very, very interesting.

-Two sugars, just like Mitchell.

-Oh, cheers, love. All right, big fella?

Graham was just telling me about the time you went skiing.

Funny. I don't remember that at all.

Well, it was more falling than skiing.

We spent more time that week on our backs, with snow in our mouths,

than on the skis.

I don't remember it because it didn't happen.

Yeah, he was tough back then too, when he was training me.

Such a hard taskmaster. All he used to say was, train, train, train.

Train, bloody train.

You remember that, Mitchell? Bloody train?

Yes!

Yes, I do, now that you mention it.

I don't know how I forgot about that. That's really weird.

We don't want to bore Annie with that.

-Why don't I give you the tour?

-Tour?

-Great.

-We have a tour?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

After you.

Oh.

And this is the cellar!

You...are in my home with my friends. That is a big no-no.

-They could be my friends, too.

-No, they couldn't!

And you've got a spare room. I could move in.

Be nice to have Annie down the corridor.

Don't you even think about it.

That girl, she's really holding a torch for you.

And I'm thinking she doesn't know, does she, about his greatest work.

About all those people you ripped apart on that train.

The Box Tunnel 20.

And I think she needs to know.

I think she needs to know about the real Mitchell.

See how she feels about him then.

Or we could maybe...

..just maybe forget about the whole thing.

Sit down, watch a bit of Wipeout. Have a biscuit.

I think that'd be for the best, don't you?

HE SIGHS

Listen, er... I've got a lot of stuff on tonight.

So, um...I'll catch you soon, yeah?

Come on, shake hands. I'll teach you the cool one.

Shake.

OK, so first it's the normal one, then clasp the thumb,

bit of that, bit of that, bump the fist, and we're done.

Not really feeling the friendship, though.

But we can work on that.

Mitchell.

All right, mate.

See you later.

MUSIC: Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison

# Pretty woman Walking down the street

# Pretty woman The kind I like to meet

# Pretty woman

# I don't believe you You're not the truth

# No-one could look as good as you

# Yeah, she's walking back to me

# Yeah, oh... #

SHE GIGGLES

# Pretty woman. #

-Wow.

-Wow. Wow, look at that.

-That is something else.

-You'd better believe it, baby.

-Let's go and shake our moneymaker.

-BOTH LAUGH AND SQUEAL

You look great.

You all do.

-Um...don't worry, I'm not drinking.

-Uh-huh.

Got to keep an eye on... Priscilla over there.

I'm the designated woman with a pulse.

I just thought it'd be good to, um... get out for a while, you know.

-SASHA LAUGHS

-Oh, yeah, no, no. No, it's great.

It's just...it's just a nice, normal night out with the girls.

Mm-hm. Or this.

SASHA GIGGLES

How's she coping, do you think? Has she come to terms with what she is?

Say it loud, I'm dead and I'm proud! Deal with it!

VEHICLE SOUNDS TOOTS

Ooh! Right, come on, ladies.

Those fellas aren't gonna shag 'emselves! Ha-ha!

Shag 'emselves!

Come on, Nina!

OK.

-VEHICLE MOTOR RUNS

-See you.

-Bye.

-Good luck.

Mitchell...

Shall we get pissed?

-You...are a genius, George.

-Mm-hm.

# ...Don't make a sound, voices in my head playing like an echo, echo... #

Five years we were together. Gone, like that. That's men for you.

Right, I am gonna show you how it's done.

You stay there and watch the master at work.

# Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

# Bang, bang, bang, on the wall

# From dusk till dawn

# Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

# Bang, bang, bang, on the wall

# From dusk till dawn

# Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo... #

Oh, this is so not healthy.

She's just flirting.

She has every right to have fun.

-Come on.

-Oh, no.

-Oh, come on.

-No.

-Nina, come on. It'll be good for you.

-No, Annie. Please, no!

# Bang, bang, bang, on the wall From dusk till dawn... #

SHE SIGHS

-They should be back by now.

-They're all adults.

And two of them are dead.

I think they've seen the worst that life has to throw at them.

If you're worried, call Nina's mobile.

-I'm not worried.

-Mitchell, it's OK to care.

It's...it's just when we lost Annie, it's like that old cliche, isn't it?

You don't miss someone until they're gone. And I missed her.

I really missed her. And I've got this fear that I'll lose her again.

So, tell her.

Then I could really lose her.

And it would just make our friendship weird.

Or, just maybe, your friendship could become something else.

Something better.

MUSIC PLAYS

# Do it, do it, do it Do it, do it, do it, do it now... #

SHE GIGGLES

# Do it, do it, do it Do it, do it, do it, do it now... #

What? What?

Was I a bet?

BONES CRUNCH

BONES CRUNCH

SHE SOBS

Oh! Aah! Ow!

-Oh! Oh!

-GLASS BREAKS

Oh! Oh!

Aah! Aah!

Help me. Please.

Help me!

Oh! Aah!

-BONES CRUNCH

-Uh! Aah!

SHE WAILS

All right, Sasha.

OK, you're OK.

OK.

MUSIC: "No Surprises" by Radiohead

# No alarms and no surprises... # DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

A bit of help here, please!

-What's happened?

-Don't know. She just collapsed.

-Nearly there. All right, onto the couch.

-What's wrong with her hands?

Oh, my goodness.

We don't know.

SHE WHEEZES

None of the others lived long enough for this to happen.

Her body's still decaying.

Maybe whatever it was that was keeping her moving

just can't fight the decay any more.

-I think we may have another problem.

-OK, Mitchell.

I need you to go back to the hospital

and borrow a little wheelchair.

-Why?

-For Sasha.

I'm gonna take her on a little jolly to the Millennium Stadium.

And then we may well go on to the bay. It's lovely around there.

-All the restaurants and boats and stuff.

-This is...

Mitchell, I know what you're gonna say and I don't want to hear it.

She has as much right to live a full and active life as the rest of us,

and her condition should not be an issue,

frankly, I'm a little disappointed in you for even bringing it up.

-Annie, it's OK.

-I don't... What are you doing?

-I don't want a hug.

-It's OK, it's OK.

Shh.

Mm.

You know, I hated her when we first met.

It seems weird now.

You're doing all you can for her.

-You're a good friend.

-DOOR CLOSES

-Annie?

-Oh, hey, Mitchell.

Graham just popped by and wanted to know if we wanted anything.

What?!

-Mitchell, what are you doing?

-No, no, no, it's fine!

It's fine. It's just a... it's a long-running joke we have.

Ha-ha! The neck-grab game.

-He loves it! Isn't that right, Graham?

-Yeah, he got me!

Oh, ho-ho, ho-ho! You little monkey!

Why don't me and you have a nice long chat about the good old days?

You'd like that!

It's a vampire tradition. Chill out.

-Look at him go!

-Oh, I don't know.

Vampires.

It's over. We are done here.

-You forgotten what I know about you?

-Screw it! Tell her.

-I don't think you want me to talk.

-I don't care any more.

Maybe it's time they knew what I really am.

I don't deserve them as friends. I never have.

So, how about this, right? You tell them what I did, or I will.

-You're bluffing.

-Oh.

If you think that, then you really don't know me at all, do you?

I will not be your puppet any more.

You are just a fat, pathetic wannabe

with no friends and no personality of your own.

You are nothing.

SHE MOANS

SHE SIGHS

SASHA WHIMPERS

Annie.

-OK, I'm here.

-Annie.

Don't let them take me, Annie.

Don't let them burn me. Promise me you'll bury me.

I promise. Promise.

Oh, Mitchell. I, er... I met your oddball friend.

-What?

-Graham?

He's been looking for you.

He seemed in a bit of a weird mood.

What did he say?

Um...he said, "Tell Mitchell I'm going to make him proud."

Like you were his dad or something. What's that about?

Oh, it's nothing. It's just a running joke we have. Forget about it.

Bye.

# You're bad, you know... #

MITCHELL PANTS

-You don't have to do this.

-You think I can't.

You think I haven't got it in me.

It isn't hard to do.

The hard part is not doing it.

And I failed, and I've regretted that every minute of every day since.

Then you are weak.

Who shall I do first?

Maybe I'll take the child.

Make the father watch.

I killed my own children, you know.

Ripped out their little throats.

Drained 'em dry.

Nothing's quite seemed real since then.

I'm sorry for what's happened to you, I really am.

I'm sorry I rejected you.

But...

this isn't the way.

You don't get it, do you?

I want to be the new legend that vampires whisper about in the night.

The new king of blood.

Starting from now.

Apologies, ladies and gentlemen! Undercover ticket inspector!

-Get your tickets out!

-Get off me!

-He didn't have the right ticket!

-Bitch!

Shut up, shh.

GRAHAM GASPS

So, what now, eh? You gonna kill me?

Cos you don't kill other vampires, Mitchell. Cara proves that.

D'you wanna throw me off the train? Go on, that's fine.

Cos there's plenty of other trains. There's plenty of other targets.

And I swear to you,

what I am gonna do will make your little massacre

look like a fucking paper cut.

How messed about are we, huh, are vampires as a species,

that my story can be seen as inspirational?

It has to end.

This story...has to die.

And it's gonna hurt.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Tell...tell people that you liked me.

I will.

SASHA WHEEZES

Do you know what I wish?

I wish I'd done more.

You know, of everything.

Even the stupid stuff.

Like, every night that I went home early cos I was a bit tired,

I just wish I'd stayed out and danced and laughed

and lived.

Cos nights like that won't come your way again.

Even Gethin.

I just wish I'd loved him more.

And kissed him more.

And held him more.

We talked about having a baby. I just kept on putting it off.

Saying, you know, can't afford to this year. We're going to Belize.

We're buying a new rug. A new car.

What does any of that matter now?

You got to promise me you won't let those chances pass you by.

I promise.

Cos it all goes. It all falls away.

The looks.

Money.

Lovers, friends.

Not all your friends.

No.

Not all your friends.

And the ones that are there at the end are the real ones, aren't they?

Yeah... Yeah.

Thank you...

for being my friend, Annie.

It's easy.

SHE SNIFFS

Live, Annie.

Seize the day.

I will.

-How is she?

-She's gone.

Sorry.

George.

SHE SIGHS

Would you like to have...

a little...

hairy baby with me?

Yes, I would.

HE CHUCKLES

Are you OK?

No.

No, I'm not.

Listen, I need to...

I need to tell you something.

I've done such things, Annie.

I've done such terrible...

..unforgivable things.

-And I need to tell you.

-No, you don't.

-I need to do this.

-No, you don't.

Mitchell, listen.

I know what you are.

I've known since day one.

But all those things you've done, they're in your past, right?

It's who you are now that counts.

And...and what you've done for me,

..for George, for all of us...

..that's the man I know.

That's the man I trust.

And...

..that's the man I want.

Do you forgive me?

We need to know if the baby will survive the transformation.

I've been such a bad girl.

You can't outrun me. Definitely can't outfight me.

You can't even outlive me.

HE SNARLS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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