Browse content similar to Necessary Rhino. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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How was that, Miss Polk? | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
I'm not taking a photograph, Lord Emsworth. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:29 | |
I'm afraid y'all have to hold the pose a little longer. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
Yes, yes, of course, totally understood. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:36 | |
-Guv'nor. Guv'nor. -Frederick! | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
This is Miss Vanessa Polk. You'll never guess, but she's an artist. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:42 | |
She's come all the way from, erm... | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
San Antone. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
Ah, very good, I know this one! That's in America. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
It was when I left it, honey. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
My daddy wrote your Aunt Constance. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Before I was born they used to have a thang? | 0:00:54 | 0:00:58 | |
She invited me to visit with y'all. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
Miss Polk? | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
God bless America. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
Specifically Texas. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
I'm sure we have some in the medicine cupboard. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
Lord Emsworth? | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
Oh... Guv'nor. Guv'nor... I came to tell you about Hannibal. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
The elephant guy? | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
Sort of. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
He was playing elephant polo when his father died, so the dukedom | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
went to his brother Alaric instead, which put H in a strop. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
He wanted to be Hannibal Dunstable, y'see. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
But now he has to be Lord Didcot, which sounds like something | 0:01:26 | 0:01:30 | |
you shout if you drop a hammer on your foot. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Batey Didcot is an absolutely ghastly man. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:37 | |
Worse than his brother. Pokering the furniture, roaring at the servants. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:43 | |
He was here last week, bullied me into selling him something or other. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:47 | |
Thank God he's gone. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
-Well, no, he hasn't. -Yes. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
-He's back. -No. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:52 | |
Where's the ruddy butler?! | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
And another thing! | 0:01:56 | 0:01:57 | |
Calypso Surprised. See it? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
It's a fake. Bronzino, my Aunt Fanny. Look, it's signed by... | 0:02:02 | 0:02:07 | |
Cozzy somebody. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
Bless my soul. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Never mind your soul, Emsworth. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
I bought this off you for 50 quid and I want my money back. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
Hannibal, whatever is all this noise? | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
Connie, I've been conned. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:25 | |
I'm not leaving this ruddy house till I have justice. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:29 | |
Morning all. Lovely morning. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
It's a peach. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:37 | |
Um, where is Peach? I mean Beach? | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
He's on holiday, Guv'nor. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
Oh... Did I really sell Batey Didcot a painting of Pinocchio Despised? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:46 | |
Beach would know. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
I think you'll find he's on holiday. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
If you ask me, Hannibal's losing what remains of his marbles. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
Galahad, we did not ask you. What are you doing here? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
I'm useful in a crisis. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
-What crisis? -Hannibal's off his nut. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
For heaven's sakes! Lord Didcot is merely eccentric. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
It's the living alone in that enormous house. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
And his ridiculous feud with Alaric. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
All he needs is a capable woman to marry him and sort him out. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:13 | |
Which is the reason I have invited Miss Polk. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
What? | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Dear Vanessa. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
-I heard voices. -Happens to me all the time. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
Let us go somewhere less congested. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Yes... | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
Leave it now... Leave it. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
So very, very kind of you to indulge Clarence by painting his pig. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:40 | |
You really mustn't take much trouble. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
Oh, it's no trouble. I like to paint. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
Now...we have staying with us a very old family friend. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:51 | |
Lord Didcot. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
I mean one knows so many peers, but he is really rather special. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
You smile? | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
Your nephew... | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
What has Freddie said, exactly? | 0:04:00 | 0:04:02 | |
That Mr Didcot was an old walrus | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
in trousers five sizes too small for his... | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
upper thighs. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
Yes. Well, unfortunately Freddie was dropped on his head. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
Oh! How terrible. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
Yes, it will be. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:13 | |
I mean, it is true Lord Didcot is of a certain age | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
and also has a conservative manner. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:20 | |
The latter of which could be changed by a woman - | 0:04:20 | 0:04:26 | |
say, the daughter of a very old and dear friend... | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
To do what? | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
Hannibal's estate... | 0:04:31 | 0:04:35 | |
on which he lives alone, is considerably bigger than Blandings. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
Do you follow? | 0:04:39 | 0:04:40 | |
-I guess... -Good. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
< ROARING AND CRASHING | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
It would be wise not to address him as Mr Didcot. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
OK. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
Furthermore, | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
my room has no poker! Where's the ruddy butler? | 0:04:53 | 0:04:58 | |
What? Yes, good point, where IS Beach? | 0:04:58 | 0:05:02 | |
He's on holiday. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
Is he? Nobody tells me anything. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
Hannibal, I should like you to meet Miss Polk. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
Pleased to meet you, Lord Didcot. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
Gad, a damned colonial. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
Miss Polk is the daughter of JB Polk of Polk Furnishings. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:21 | |
Can't abide a woman in yellow. Also much too tall. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
Carry on, see the geography of the house. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
Polk. A single woman and many times a millionairess. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:32 | |
Mmm! | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
Let me show you the west wing. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:36 | |
We'll go through the dining room, into the conservatory. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
Clarence, I've been here five minutes | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
and you haven't taken me to see the Empress. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
Oh, my dear fellow, I do apologise. Come. Come. Most exciting news. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:49 | |
She's having her portrait painted. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
Guv'nor, touching on the subject. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Mirabile dictu, I've got myself in a spot of bother. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:56 | |
I was a little flown with wine | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
and was moved to wager Catsmeat that I couldn't fit three billiards balls | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
in my mouth and give a tolerable rendition of La Marseillaise. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
Hah. Haven't done that for years. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
Now I owe him 100 smackers. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
Hang on, Guv'nor, don't ooze off - I'm not on the sponge, | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
I have here a crash-hot commodity. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
Pointless asking me about money, Frederick. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
Your mother was the man for all that. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
But I am totally strapped for the necessary rhino! | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
Oh... | 0:06:24 | 0:06:25 | |
Ah! Lord Didcot? | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
Yes? | 0:06:30 | 0:06:31 | |
I have come into possession of this rather splendid picture of a horsey. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
You may wish to purchase it. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
Get out of my way. I want to purchase Vanessa whatserface. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:41 | |
And I've not finished with Emsworth. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
Oh... | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
Lord Emsworth? Can you look at her like you know she's boss? | 0:06:54 | 0:06:58 | |
She IS boss. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
Thus? | 0:07:02 | 0:07:03 | |
All right! We're off to the races! | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
Races? Emsworth? | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
You're not thinking of entering that ruddy pig in the Derby again? | 0:07:08 | 0:07:13 | |
Heard about that from m'brother, God rot and damn his ruddy soul. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
-They're just having their picture done, you goon. -What? | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
It's kind of a... marriage portrait. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:25 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:07:25 | 0:07:26 | |
Didcot, if there's a fatuous conclusion to be leapt to, | 0:07:26 | 0:07:29 | |
you'll leap it. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
Gah! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
This is yet another instance of Emsworth's egregious pottiness | 0:07:32 | 0:07:36 | |
and mendacity. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:37 | |
Don't think you can get away from me by slithering orf to be | 0:07:37 | 0:07:41 | |
with your porcine floozy. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
Miss Polk, look at this ruddy piece of junk he made me buy. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
Did you ever see such an outrageous fake? | 0:07:47 | 0:07:51 | |
Rooked me rotten. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
I'm hanging the damn thing where it belongs. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
Now... Miss Polk. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:02 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
You're a bit of a dolly, aren't you? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
Will you excuse me? I just have to... | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
not talk to you. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
Today's cock, Hannibal. Tomorrow's feather duster. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
That'll learn him. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
He is the most unpleasant specimen. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:44 | |
Dreadful. Apart from Batey Didcot, Miss Polk, how do you like Blandings? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:48 | |
I like it just fine. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
I expect you're accustomed to far superior plumbing, food, | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
transportation and teeth. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:54 | |
Oh, I'm not unacquainted with hardship. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
Really, I wonder why. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
I knew your father - he's a very good egg, old JB. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
But he's never had a moment's hardship in his life. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
Never had a daughter, either. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
So. OK. Do I pack my bag? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:13 | |
Don't be preposterous. No. Tell me your secret, Vanessa? | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
Is your name really Vanessa? | 0:09:16 | 0:09:17 | |
-Vanessa...Gruber. -Enchanted. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
JB hired me to paint his portrait. We got on pretty well. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:24 | |
I was a little down in the dumps at the time so he fixed me | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
this trip to England, to have some fun. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
"Let's tell my old pal Connie I'm your daddy," he said. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
"She'll lap you up." | 0:09:32 | 0:09:33 | |
Would I be close to the mark in assuming you haven't two beans to your name? | 0:09:33 | 0:09:37 | |
I play a little blackjack, to keep the coyote from the door. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
But I dropped a packet in Pasadena. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
I'm broke, Gally. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Sad to hear it, but join the club. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
Huh. Listen. There's something bothering me. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:50 | |
My animal magnetism. Don't be alarmed. I'll switch it off. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Now, sit here and tell me your troubles. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:57 | |
< That picture the one that foolish man threw away... | 0:09:59 | 0:10:04 | |
< It's the real thing. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
< Good God, it must be worth a fortune! | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
< You bet. Hundreds of thousands. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
CLANKING | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
Let us continue this fascinating conversation outside. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
There are too many hairy old ears in these walls. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
Hundreds of thousands... | 0:10:27 | 0:10:28 | |
WHISTLING | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Right. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
HE GROWLS | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
She's only just arrived and already your uncle has her cornered. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
I suppose you admire that. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
Frederick, what do you want? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
I wanted to propose to you. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
Er, make you a proposition! | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
As long as it's nothing to do with painting, art or artists. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
I've had a basinful. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
How interesting that fine art should be the sujet du jour, | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
because I happen to have this rather glorious picture of a horsey. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:11 | |
< LAUGHTER | 0:11:11 | 0:11:12 | |
Will you please go out there | 0:11:12 | 0:11:16 | |
and tell your uncle I wish to speak to him at once? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
Damn right. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
We need to talk. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
Oh, phooey. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:38 | |
I refuse to discuss...miss you with the likes of...Polk. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:42 | |
No intention of discussing the female | 0:11:42 | 0:11:45 | |
I plan to cart orf from this dump. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
I'm talking about art. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
Ha! Art. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Scarcely a subject for this turpentine community. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:58 | |
No. Philistine community. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
My boy. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
Aunt Constance would like... | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
Aunts can wait. What about this dismal crasher Didcot? | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
We can't have him bellowing about the place, terrorising your father. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
I ask this rhetorically, for I already have the answer. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:24 | |
What do we do? | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
Leave Miss Polk alone. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
My dear boy, I believe you hold a torch for her. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
Excellent! I salute your taste and judgment. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
It makes it even simpler for us to have our cake and lie in it. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:39 | |
Freddie, do you trust me | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
-to take charge of your sentimental education? -Hmm... | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
This is the bit where you say, "Yes, uncle." | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
Yes, uncle. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
-Good, here's the plan. Hannibal must propose to Vanessa, tonight. -Mmm... | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
Don't moo at me - I didn't say marry. I said propose. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:54 | |
The formal offer is all. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
To this end you must make love to Vanessa yourself, assiduously | 0:12:56 | 0:13:00 | |
and publicly. Right under the twitching nostrils of your aunt. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:05 | |
Go to it. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
Right! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Ah... Connie, | 0:13:10 | 0:13:11 | |
have you seen Miss erm... | 0:13:11 | 0:13:14 | |
Ah, there she is. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
With Frederick. They're getting on like a horse on fire. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
House. And it is a conflagration you must stamp out. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:24 | |
The whole point of the match was that it should be with Lord Didcot. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:28 | |
That is all very modern and I dare say commendably open-minded, | 0:13:28 | 0:13:32 | |
but on Frederick's behalf... | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
Give me strength. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:35 | |
I am not suggesting that Freddie should marry Hannibal. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
I'm glad you've reconsidered. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:39 | |
What if there'd been a daughter? She might have had a moustache | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
and a big roary voice going ugh-ugh-ugh... | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
You just break it up. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
Hannibal, I did not make myself clear. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
It is imperative that you marry Miss Polk. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
You will find the arrangement agreeable and convenient, | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
and it will make you less choleric. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
I'm not choleric. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
I'm famous for my ruddy sunny disposition. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Damn and blast you, woman! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
< LAUGHTER | 0:14:05 | 0:14:06 | |
Oh, Lord, he's useless! | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
Listen to me, Hannibal. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
I want you to go out there and stop this conversation. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
What conversation? | 0:14:12 | 0:14:13 | |
What? | 0:14:16 | 0:14:17 | |
Potty as a hatful of pixies. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
You want to know something on the QT about Calypso? | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
Do I know a cutie called Calypso? | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
Er... | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
Aha, Miss Polk. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:40 | |
There you are. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
Thought you might care to take a stroll. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:47 | |
The park here is pretty tawdry compared to mine. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:53 | |
Didcot, Miss Polk is working. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
And I call that a damned indignity. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
Totty like her didn't ought to have to work. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:02 | |
God's ruddy trousers, Emsworth, Blandings is a temple to barbarity. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:08 | |
And when are you going to cough up my 50 quid? | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
Just pay him, Clarence. Just pay him. This whole ghastly rigmarole | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
is making me bilious. Get your cheque book. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
Connie. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:17 | |
Where is Beach? | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
Climping. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:30 | |
Well, well. Does he climp, or is he... | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
being climped? | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
-He's on holiday. -Oh. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Lord Emsworth, we were speaking earlier about the painting in the... | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
So, my dear, eh? | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Argh! | 0:15:44 | 0:15:45 | |
Oh. I'm so sorry. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:49 | |
I seem to have stuck my fork into your hand. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:53 | |
Idiot. Can't even squeeze a girl's knee under the table... | 0:15:53 | 0:15:57 | |
Oh! | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
Ooh! | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
A gift from me to you. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
How do you do that? | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
A trick I picked up in the Kalahari. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
-An establishment on Dover Street. -Ah. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
You and I, young man. We share an interest. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:17 | |
Not her, you imbecile. The horse. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
How much do you want for it? | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
I'll give you half that. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
Connie? Connie, can we speak? | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
Yes, of course. As long as it's not about art. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
The whole subject brings me out in hives. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
Talk to me, then. Talk to me about anything. Hives. Bees. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:37 | |
I once had a bumblebee in a matchbox. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
I called him Hammy. I'd always wanted a hamster, you see. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
You have such beautiful eyes. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:43 | |
I am going to bathe my temples with eau de Cologne. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
Miss Polk must marry Batey Didcot. I entirely agree. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
You're scheming. Why? | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
Hannibal has become intolerable. Have you established | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
whether or not the old warthog actually wants to marry her? | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
I'm certain of it. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
So am I. But he's too self-obsessed, crass and idle to ask. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
He should trust to the pen. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Your pen. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
Darling. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
If you think you can beat me down with that kind of pansy flimflam, | 0:17:36 | 0:17:40 | |
then you're savagely mistaken. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
I'll give you 300 for the piece, take it or leave it. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
Didcot, I cannot permit you to describe my beloved as a piece. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:51 | |
I'm talking about the ruddy horse, you snivelling amoeba. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
I see we are at cross porpoises... purposes... | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
Just shut up and listen. 300. Cash. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:02 | |
Damn and blast you, man - concentrate! Stop thinking about | 0:18:02 | 0:18:06 | |
the wretched American girl, she's out of your puny league. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:11 | |
We shall discover, Didcot, whose leg is puny. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:15 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
Now look here, you ruddy beef-faced walrus... | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
Ah, Beach! Oh... | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
Now, listen to me. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:36 | |
I want you to get Hannibal and bring him to my room, now. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
Constance. There are limits. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
-Oh, for heaven's sakes, you're such a booby! -I can't allow... | 0:18:42 | 0:18:46 | |
Stop speaking. I cannot, with propriety, possibly go to his room. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:50 | |
You must bring him to mine. I need to dictate to him. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:54 | |
SNORING | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
Didcot? Erm... | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
Just a minute... | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
Didcot... | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
I...er... | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
Sorry... | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
Oh, dear... | 0:19:19 | 0:19:20 | |
-Sorry, so clumsy... -CLANKING | 0:19:22 | 0:19:26 | |
Ah, this looks promising... | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
Didcot, are you in here? | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
ARRGGH! | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
Where are you, you filthy sewer? | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
Ah, Didcot, there you are. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
Anything you need? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
What I need, Emsworth, | 0:19:43 | 0:19:45 | |
is for you to stop acting the goat in my bathroom. How Connie manages... | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
Connie! Yes, yes. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
-She wishes to lord it over you, in her bedroom. -What?! | 0:19:50 | 0:19:54 | |
Not the precise phrase, but she wishes to talk to you. Hmm? | 0:19:54 | 0:19:58 | |
When you've finished with that poker | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
would you return it to the drawing room? There's a good fellow. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:06 | |
Nighty-night. Yes. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
Gute nacht. Bonne nuit. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
Now, Hannibal, I am concerned. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:18 | |
You lay siege to Vanessa in entirely the wrong way. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
You make no progress whatsoever. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
I want you to write a letter, proposing marriage. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
What foaming lunacy is this? I've never written a letter in m'life. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
For once, you will do as you are told. Now sit. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:33 | |
Paper. Pen. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
Write thus. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:39 | |
"My darling angel..." | 0:20:39 | 0:20:42 | |
Oh, this is bilge. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
WRITE IT. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:45 | |
Priceless. Priceless. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
Claude. Claude. Come here. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:51 | |
Her ladyship has roused you from her bed. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:52 | |
You will find that she wishes you to give a letter to Miss Polk. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
I will relieve you of the burden of this mission. | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
Just give the letter to me. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
I think you may have dropped ten shillings. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
Good man. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
Any other business... | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
Angel, I can barely stand... | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
500. My last, final offer. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:32 | |
You drive a hard bargain, Threepwood, and I admire you for it. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:35 | |
But if you don't give me the horse, I'm going to smash your face in. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:39 | |
Oh...I shall get it directly. It's in the bin. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
What's in the bin? | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
Nothing. You confuse me, Didcot, with this talk of bins. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
Return to your room and I shall retrieve the horsey | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
from the very special place I wedged it. Left it. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
-Claude, well done. Splendid fellow. -What? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
Nephew. Is your tender soul ready for part two of your education? | 0:21:55 | 0:22:00 | |
Er... Which was the first? | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
Freddie! | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
It is a far, far... thing...that I do. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:25 | |
I shall do it better. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:27 | |
You do it pretty well already, honey. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
Right. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
Oh! | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
One horsey. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:57 | |
And er... | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
We agreed 500 big ones, I believe? | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
Ha! | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
Now, Didcot, attend me well. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
I am in possession of your letter to Miss Polk. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
And I happen to know she is not a millionaire's daughter. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
She is an impostress. Impostrix. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
She is penniless. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:24 | |
But, naturally, you will honour your written offer of marriage? | 0:23:24 | 0:23:30 | |
Bring me a poker. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
I shall not. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
I want to drag out your intestines like spaghetti. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:41 | |
What you want, Didcot, | 0:23:43 | 0:23:44 | |
and what you get, are two mutually extruding elephants. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:49 | |
Now, if you don't marry Miss Polk, you'll be in breach of promise | 0:23:49 | 0:23:53 | |
and vilified as an utter stoat. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
My advice to you, therefore, is to pay the lady off. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
I am content to broker the transaction. And I recommend cash. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:05 | |
The sum of 500 has a familiar weight. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:11 | |
HE GROWLS | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
ROARING | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
Sotheby's. NOW! | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
What's the haul? | 0:24:54 | 0:24:55 | |
£1,000. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:56 | |
Tippety-top! I tick your paper and mark it alpha plus. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
-Now shall I help you with the arithmetic? -Oh, please. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
100 quid to Catsmeat. Ten bob for me. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
That leaves £899.10. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
-How much has your father been subbing you over the years? -Oh... | 0:25:06 | 0:25:10 | |
Call it 500. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:11 | |
I want you to go and give it to him. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
Now, the rest you must blow on Vanessa. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Whisk her back to London and buy her a slap-up dinner | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
and dance at the Pink Pussy, every night this week. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
-Uncle Gally... -Yes? | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
When I grow up, can I be like you? | 0:25:21 | 0:25:24 | |
Who knows, my boy? We can but guide you thither. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:26 | |
If the sun shines on you in youth, | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
you grow up knowing it's been put there for that express purpose. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:32 | |
Ah... | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
Ah! Guv'nor! | 0:25:37 | 0:25:38 | |
Right... | 0:25:38 | 0:25:39 | |
Brace yourself. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:42 | |
Something very extraordinary is about to happen. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
Guv? | 0:25:47 | 0:25:48 | |
Am I hallucinating, or did you just come to my bedroom | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
and give me a vast amount of money? | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
Guv'nor, I did. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:05 | |
-Are you sure it wasn't the other way around? -No, no. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:09 | |
How extraordinary. | 0:26:09 | 0:26:12 | |
Oh! Vanessa, good morning. | 0:26:12 | 0:26:14 | |
I trust you slept after the disturbances of the evening. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:17 | |
Oh, I slept like a hairy bear. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
You weren't...disturbed again? | 0:26:24 | 0:26:28 | |
By someone delivering a letter? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:29 | |
Morning. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
Whatever has gone wrong, Galahad, I blame you. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
Perfectly reasonable and entirely expected. Now hear this. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:37 | |
Vanessa, if you have beans, spill 'em now. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
Very well. Freddie. That small picture in oils of a horse. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:47 | |
Oh, Lord, don't say you want it. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:49 | |
I just flogged it to Hannibal for 500 quid. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:50 | |
-What?! -I never wanted it. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:53 | |
I knew when I painted it the other day that it was garbage. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
That's why I threw it in a trash can in Green Park. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
That IS where you found it? | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
-Outstanding! But this is the good bit. Clarence. -What? | 0:27:01 | 0:27:04 | |
The picture of Calypso, sir. It's by Agnolo di Cosimo. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:09 | |
Cozzy who? | 0:27:09 | 0:27:10 | |
The painter generally known as Bronzino. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:13 | |
Oh, I've got a Bronzino! | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
Chubby girl, lolling about on a lilo. Do you know it, Connie? | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
Oh, God. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 | |
Yes, Lord Emsworth. It's worth a very great deal of money indeed. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:24 | |
Well, I never. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
On the subject of money. I have to come clean. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:30 | |
I am not JB Polk's daughter. I am not a millionairess. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:36 | |
Fact is... I'm pretty much a bum. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:39 | |
Not entirely sure that word translates. Bum. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:44 | |
Clarence. Here is the situation. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
Hannibal paid a fortune for a pile of codswallop - | 0:27:46 | 0:27:49 | |
no offence, Vanessa - and Sotheby's is about to bray in his face. | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
You, on the other hand, have a nice picture of a roly-poly popsy | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
worth untold gold. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:56 | |
I'd say it's time to burst joy's grape against our palate fine! | 0:27:56 | 0:28:01 | |
Absolutely! Hurrah! Whose grape? | 0:28:01 | 0:28:03 | |
-Joy's. -Joy, you are most welcome at Blandings, my dear. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:08 | |
Why, thank you, Lord Emsworth. | 0:28:08 | 0:28:10 | |
I am going to my room. | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
Are you, Connie? As you wish. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:15 | |
We shall miss you. | 0:28:15 | 0:28:16 | |
Oh, God... | 0:28:18 | 0:28:20 | |
Has anyone seen Beach? | 0:28:23 | 0:28:25 |