Episode 3 Frankie Boyle's New World Order

This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Frankie Boyle!

APPLAUSE CHEERING

Hello and welcome to Wynter. I think it's amazing the difference in

Theresa May since she called that election. -- welcome to New World

Order. Before that election she looked formidable, now she looks

like something you would find in the back of a skip at Jim Henson's

workshop. Imagine how badly you have to have messed up if you are a Tory

Prime Minister and it's not safe for you to go to Chelsea. LAUGHTER

Jeremy Corbyn was down at the Grenville disaster hugging people.

Can you imagine what a hug from Theresa May would be like? Like judo

class for depressed sex offenders. It's the DUP, the homophobic DUP

that have propped up this government. I've never understood

the link between homophobia and Christianity. Because who was gayer

than Jesus? Jesus is the gayest character in all of fiction. Even if

you don't think that, he hung about with lepers! Is it really likely

he's going to be squeamish about seeing the two men kissing? What is

the DUP argument? Jesus wouldn't have wanted to see a man with

another man's clock in his hand unless it had fallen off? What if

our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is trying to reattach a leper's clock?

What then? Someone should ask the DUP at a press conference. -- cock.

What if our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ is reattaching a leper's

cock? The public wants answers! OK, let's get on with the show. Joining

me to discuss this week's big topics, please welcome Sara Pascoe

and Katherine Ryan! APPLAUSE

CHEERING Hello. You enjoying having a stable

government? I love it, I love the coalition, I'm on board, it means

after all this time there really is a magic money tree. Because she

found ?1 billion in it. What else is out there? Homophobia. Tonight I be

making two propositions for us to discuss first up, hope is dead. This

is the idea Britain, even though it has avoided a majority Tory

government, is still pretty much doomed. We are still being run by a

Tory party so radically awful its agenda was actually diluted by doing

a deal with a group of right-wing religious fanatics. And we have a

Prime Minister who is just shown she is capable of mishandling a tragedy

so badly she made the Queen seemed down to earth. My favourite bits so

far was when she went to form a government, she been to the Queen,

then she did her speech outside ten Downing St, remember that? She was

standing with her wee husband behind her, a gay Danger Mouse, she's

standing there looking like she's had make-up done by a colour-blind

embalmer. She does the same speech she would have done if she'd won,

then at the end went, right, let's get to work. Like a pilot who just

crashed is playing right into the tarmac standing there as the

survivors crawl free of the wreckage going, hope you enjoyed the flight.

APPLAUSE Joining us to discuss this political

chaos please welcome the poet Benjamin Zephaniah! APPLAUSE

Benjamin, what do you make of it? Strains times, a lot of friends from

abroad when me and say, what's happening in Britain? You're killing

each other, the government has abandoned you. Interesting times.

Great time to write poetry I guess. I haven't written any. But you know,

I can feel it coming, I kind of feel pregnant. This week the

Conservatives announced it finally reached an agreement with the DUP

promising an extra ?1 billion in Northern Ireland. He is the DUP's

ball given showing what a forward thinking Zeitgeist party they are

when questioned about the Northern Irish assembly. Remarkably John

O'Dell and Sinn Fein think they know what Unionists believe and that

reminds me of a story in the Bible about him who bought the gallows for

Mordechai believing the plot would ultimately lead to their downfall. I

think Sinn Fein will recognise the Unionist community know the plot

they are trying to conspire against the DUP to weaken Unionism.

Some people really liked it. They were like, thank God, the Bible,

finally. Some fans of the book. If you followed the DUP at all? Service

have you followed? Once upon a time, it's going to sound crazy, I wanted

to buy a pair of binoculars. I'm into bird-watching. It was the days

before eBay and that kind of stuff. I turned up at the guy's house

outside Manchester, he was a supporter of the DUP. He looked to

me -- he locked me in his house and was telling me how great they are.

You put on this film and there was a demonstration with these DUP people

and there was one black person. And he went, see, we are supported by

the black community of Northern Ireland. It was scary! Seriously,

they got a billion quid out of it, didn't they? Yeah. They think that's

really interesting, if that had happened in a developing country in

Asia or Africa, it would have been called a bribe. APPLAUSE

Jeremy Corbyn spent the weekend at Glastonbury taking to the Pyramid

stage, he is the rousing moment he addressed the crowds. If you can see

that far, look on the wall right over there, that surrounds this

wonderful festival, there is a message on that wall for President

Donald Trump. Build bridges, not walls!

Build bridges, not walls, is the message they wrote on the wall...

LAUGHTER That they built. To keep people out.

Does Jeremy Corbyn make you feel hopeful that hope isn't dead? He

does make me feel hopeful. He's not going to get into power speaking at

Glastonbury, those people already voted for him. If Jeremy Corbyn is

Sirius about he has to go before a cattle auction Melton Mowbray.

There's something so creepy about chanting for a politician,

regardless of who the politician is, I think just like booing a

politician, it feels infantile. I find it creepy, this Glastonbury

thing. We can't talk about the political unrest without addressing

the recent fire that destroyed Grendel Tower. It preventable

tragedy that has left a community feeling abandoned, angry and

frustrated at a system that has let them down. How do we reach a point

where the people of Grenville are left unassisted in the days

following fire? Why don't we have an accurate figure of how many died,

and what does the whole thing tell us about how casually ordinary

peoples deaths are viewed by elites? It was horrifying, the whole thing.

You just see a community abandoned, people going, where are the

services? Where is the state? It's the fact it was avoidable, which is

where anger comes from. It's so huge. Something has to change. When

you see the way that, sorry for going into party politics, the way

Corbyn has received it compared to Theresa May, it shows you how people

feel about the government. Is there something to the predictability of

it, the horror. People say this is going to happen, residents

associations are writing to the council regularly saying, this is

going to be a disaster, and nothing is done about it. I retweeted

something a few days ago. It's from YouTube. It's from 1982. And it is

predicting this fire. There are all these men in suits talking about the

way they have been clad. It's a prediction of this fire. Not of this

particular tower, but it's saying, this is going to happen. In 1982.

I've only just seen it, I drove past it on the way here. The thing I find

really heartening is that people like me, who call ourselves, I call

myself an anarchist, people mock us and say and it is impossible, it

can't work. The government left the people on their own at a time when

they were most needed and the people just went, right, you organise this,

you organise that, we've got that church hall, you do this, you do

that, that is real anarchy in action. It shows you people can work

together when they really need to. And we should just do it more often,

we shouldn't wait until there are tragedies and disasters like this.

But we think being democratic is voting every four or five years.

That's not being political, not being democratic, that is being

apathetic. It's time to become an revolutionary, it doesn't mean

violent, just taking control of our lives, not just when there is a

disaster happening. APPLAUSE What we think is going on with the

body count? I think if you look at any building that has a lot of

people, how can you count everybody? You can't just can't buy the

resident one census, there will be people visiting, staying overnight,

a lot of people apparently ran to the top of the building, so, you

know, they can't find the bodies. David Lammy one of the local MPs is

getting very, rightly, worked up about the lack of a proper body

count. He thinks maybe there is a thing where they wanted to avoid

civil unrest. Maybe it's also because they don't want unrest at a

time when they are trying to re-establish this minority

government. We just don't know. There is that thing where people say

the operation wasn't there, the operation wasn't there to help

people, to rehouse people. But there will be an operation that kicks in

instinctively, to cover up, that is what British society does. It's

almost on the level of a reflex and there will be things like, there

might not be survivors groups on the board of inquest, the firebug raids

union, it'll happen almost as a reflex. I thought it was shocking

the people had to resign from shelter because the people on the

board of the organisation were so closely connected to the people

who'd been building the building. Also the thing about Jeremy Corbyn

getting this warm welcome, the other thing I find dangerous about good

figures and bad figures in politics is, this happened under both

parties. It isn't something new. This is what happens in any

government, they cut corners and the poorest people are the victims. Why

were tower blocks built? They were high-rise slums, to take all these

poor people out, basically slum clearance, those buildings. I think

there is a genuine moral thing, Sir John McDonnell called it social

murder, or whatever the phrase was. I think it's worse. If you murder

someone in a moment of passion that's one thing but if you set up a

whole of circumstances that will probably lead to people dying, and

you let them die like dogs on your windshield, that is a different

level of immorality. APPLAUSE -- let them die like bugs on your

windshield. Anyway, we're going to look at some of the coverage around

it. Theresa May's handling of the situation has been widely

criticised. She eventually returned to meet local residents, here is raw

footage capturing the strong reaction of the crowd as she left.

Theresa May, you can criticise her for being the kind of face of kind

of non-compassionate capitalism every time I look at her, I just

want to give her a massage. She has this way of leaning forward. You

know, she needs a bit of yoga, she needs to straighten up, she needs a

shoulder rub. I want to take her to my saloon. Do you have a mass arch

saloon? Yes I do, yeah. She's a bit like an angle poise lamp or

something. It's strange, leaning Tower of chorizo. You know what I

think? Theresa May, the more we use her, we blame her, her name, she

will go, they will blame her as aback by Minister, but if the

Tories, party of people, you have to remember, it's all of them, not her.

I can't massage all of them. The media has also been questioned over

its coverage of Granville tower, so obviously frustrated with the

mainstream media, some residents refused to be pigeonholed by the

coverage, as this force will interview demonstrates. What do I

want to happen? A revolution in this country, I say fuck the media, fuck

the mainstream, you don't deserve to be there. We should be campaigning

not to govern, but the BBC, who act as mouthpieces for this corrupt

government. People need a revolution this country. If it was any other

country there would have been a revolution. We see how the

mainstream media has was and reacted, what this election has done

is show people are immune, wearing bullet-proof vests to you, the other

media owners, Rupert Murdoch. You understand what I'm saying? You are

a bunch of motherfuckers. It is a slight thing where you

almost feel like the mainstream media is like an app that hasn't

been upgraded. Wandering round like a dad in a teenager's bedroom when

they are forming a band, what is going on here? You are showing this

on the BBC, the mouthpiece of the mainstream media! We need to

interview those people more often, you know? For these people, it is

raw emotion. It was very humane, acknowledging that he was shouting

in his face. He had me at motherfuckers. It was interesting to

see how that clip was captioned online, Grenfell Tower scary guy

gets heavy with media. Someone that is traumatised, passionate,

emotional is called scary. That is just the internet, and I am not

defending this, but if you write articular and mandates grade point,

no-one will watch! -- articulate man makes great point. It is important

that we keep asking questions, but for now we will move on from the

Grenfell Tower tragedy, as Kensington and Chelsea Council wish

everybody would. Let's go back to the DUP pricks. For many people, the

deal epitomises the death of hope in our political system, but is it

really dead? Yes. LAUGHTER

Don't get me wrong, the Democratic Unionist Party and I share many of

the same interests and concerns - religion, sodomy, money, and telling

women what to do with their bodies. During the election, Tim Farron, to

its credit, brought sodomy kicking and screaming back into modern

political discourse, but it is the DUP which is put sodomy back on the

table where it belongs. It is entirely appropriate that we still

obsess about 4000 -year-old moral codes. It is all very well humans

faffing about building quantum computers and colonising Mars, we

need to be thinking about what we put in our bottoms. Of course, we

have a very slight, almost imperceptible difference in our view

of sodomy. The DUP eight sodomy, whereas Ifab game love it. --

whereas I fucking love it. Like a really hot curry, you know you are

going to end up with a burning arsehole, but what else are you

going to spend 20 quid on on a Friday night? Thanks to Benjamin!

Brexit will be Christmas for racists.

LAUGHTER People said after the Brexit vote

that British people don't trust expert anymore. I don't think that

is the problem, I think the British people have strong opinions based on

fuck all. And why there are a lot of perfectly valid reasons to want to

leave the EU, the people who are most empowered by the result are,

let's be honest, racists. I certainly hope it is not a hard

Brexit, because that means I have got two years left to persuade a

Lithuanian care worker to take my mum with her. I honestly think

Britain is so racist now, and probably Europe is so racist as

well, that the best hope for refugees, sadly, is that they become

aquatic, actually develop gills and start to live in the sea. Hipsters

will take a gap year to go one swim with the refugees. Have you swam

with the refugees yet? It's absolutely magical. You can feed

them fish, but it is better if you teach them how to fish.

LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

Joining us to discuss what Brexit really means, please welcome Dane

Baptiste! APPLAUSE

What's up? Are you a fan Brexit? I kind of

feel, as a black guy in the UK post-Brexit, it is like being Jeff

Goldblum in Jurassic Park. You told everybody what was going to happen,

and instead of the dinosaurs, we will have a shared storm, you are

being alarmist! England is so racist, are you serious, man?! So I

am not massively worried, apart from not having the E1-11 card that gives

you free health car after you go to the Mediterranean and write off a

moped. Debating the rights of EU nationals in Britain, as opposed to

British expats, are we going to give up French serve and so we can get

people who are on the run in Malaga? -- French surgeons. People whose

skill set is basically karaoke and running a sports bar into

bankruptcy? Normally an Irish sports car, which is ironic, given that

historically black people like Man United have been public and amenable

one, then the Irish and the Jews, they had an illustrious history,

like Liverpool, and the Muslim community, Arabs and Asians, are

like Man City, they have done really well in the last decade, but it is

all due to oil money, so probably still public enemy number one.

Christmas Day for racists, it depends if you have a nice family -

I hate Christmas! Yes, with a terrible family, Christmas for

racists is just Christmas. I have always found family to be overrated,

do you not think? That thing you get in menus, family run restaurant? Who

cares?! Everybody involved in the chain that brings lasagne to my

table is locked in a bitter dispute about then these's abortion? --

their knees's abortion? Last week, the negotiations finally began with

May no longer supported by a Conservative majority, but are the

negotiations going badly? Let's sea of we can guess from Theresa May's

body language as she was filmed exiting the first round of talks.

LAUGHTER That looks like the end of First

Dates! Maybe it is an act, she gets into the car and stakes on Magic FM,

lovely day! So with David Davis and his crack team of negotiators, we

should be getting our message across to the EU, here is president of the

European Commission Jean-Claude Juncker giving an update. Are you

getting an idea of the Brexit that the UK wants? No.

APPLAUSE None us know what is going on with

anything! I have a mobile phone contract that

is 89 pages long, I don't know how much of my soul is owned by EE, why

should Brexit be any different?! So multiple election loser Nigel

Farage, as in any situation, is keen to paint insult as the real victim.

When Gina Miller forced the Government to hold a vote one

Article 50, she received a torrent of racial abuse. Here Nigel Farage

questions her claims. She said jihad received abuse for what he had done

because she is black. That says it all, doesn't it? Says it all. And

yet that gets broadcast, and again we are all meant to think that is

true. Can you imagine the media portraying a story that I had been

unfairly treated because of who I am? I went to a public school and I

am white, do you think they would run that?! I do feel sympathy for

elites, getting sent to boarding schools, brought up in these

labyrinths of mahogany panelling that they have to navigate using a

dinner gong. That is what that is for, so they can find their family,

that is why they all end up working in Westminster, they'll subliminally

attached to the noise of Big Ben. At one point they had a black Ukip

member, which we know is an oxymoron. When they are dealing with

accusations of racism, I am not racist, I have got a black friend. I

wondered about that, like the black guy in the BNP, what are you doing,

putting dog shit through your own letterbox?! It is a very ironic

tactic used by racists, shit through the letterbox, show them they are

monkeys, we will shit in our hands! At some point, doesn't somebody say,

like white power and everything, but I am carrying shit? Channel 4 were

keen to investigate the complexity surrounding Brexit in the only way

they knew how, by recommissioning Wife Swap. We need to shut our

borders to stop people coming over that are not contributing. But the

people here did not come in because of the EU. You have got facts, I

haven't, you have got statistics, I am not minded as you well. This is

coming from the heart, yeah? I feel like I am a stranger in my own

country. This used to be a really wide area, didn't it? Oh! They have

been saying this for years, racism is like grime, it went underground,

the real fans stuck with it online, I was always racist, I am back!

There are people, and I am a white person, I will admit it... About

time, Sara! I am always really wary of trying to find positives in

things where it is not my place to make a proper judgment, and some

people say racism has always been there, now at least, if people are

more boucle, we can deal with those areas, but is that another way of

white people excusing them? I think that most people agree with it, we

have evolved past just relying on racial rhetoric and verbal racism,

like I have done gigs where after somebody has been, can I buy you a

drink? I have got a mate, he is coloured. Some people might find

that uncomfortable, but he is offering me to buy a drink. We have

got to the point where I can tell by a look. What is the look?

LAUGHTER Now, when it comes to Brexit, many

will have voted for it with the best intentions, but at the same time we

have to be honest about what it has delivered, all sorts of nasty

political parties have felt more legitimised. But first is a far

right movement created by former members of the BNP. Take a look at

this babbling rant from their leader. I cannot even go out and

get... He is saying that he once the

animals to be killed with a bolt gun, as God intended. I like the

idea that when they get the money from the chicken tikka, ?8, will you

put it towards terrorism? No, they weren't halal chickens. So the BNP

also try but often fail to present themselves as morally sound

individuals, as a dumbfounded Jo Coburn discovered on the Daily

Politics was questioning their leader, Adam Walker. One of your

policies is zero-tolerance for drug dealers and violent thugs, yet you

were given a six-month suspended sentence in 2012 after verbally

abusing three young schoolchildren, chasing them in your 4x4, and then

slashing the tyres of their bikes with a knife, and you were a

schoolteacher at the time. If that is not thuggish behaviour, what is?

It was described as a rush of blood to the head, and I apologised at the

time. He was like a more likeable John Terry. May be more teacher

should be chasing pupils in 4x4 is, right? It depends what he was

teaching them, if it was PE, that is OK. You have got to run, we don't

feel like it, we will see about that! But if he was doing food tech,

get your carry... Is that halal chicken?! So, yes, Brexit will be

Christmas for racists. A proper Christmas where all the shops are

shut, because there aren't any Muslims who don't care about

Christmas to work in them. But it will be a bittersweet Christmas,

Santa will need a visa, so instead all your presence will be

hand-delivered, thrown through your window by a red faced Tommy

Robinson, spending the 24th of December trying to find the

non-halal turkey. Norway will no longer give us a big Christmas tree

for Trafalgar Square. In its place, we will drape tinsel around a giant

pile of homeless people, like a festive special of I, Daniel Blake.

Theresa May has made a mess of Brexit negotiations, dealing with

them with the finesse of a demented pensioner haggling with a antics

expert on Cash In The Attic. . Ed Balls was quoted this week as saying

Theresa May has lost all credibility. This is from the man

who wore a chiffon glittered pantsuit whilst straddling a Russian

woman's phase two Gangnam Style on national TV and then danced like a

wardrobe having a brain haemorrhage. Well, that is the end of the show,

thanks to my guests! APPLAUSE

I had achieved everything before I was 22.