The Outtakes Gavin and Stacey

Hi, I'm James Corden. You're joining me on the set of Gavin And Stacey.

Let's see what we've got.

This is 361, take two.

Do you mean that?

I...I can't remember my line.

1014, take two.

Oh, thanks a lot th...thithy!

Bring her in here!

# Bada-boo, bada... #

Oh, come on.

785, take two, starring Ruth Jones and Joanna Page.

-Mister.

-You've got your whole...

Sorry about that.

Do not start, Mick, please.

Mick, Mike, sorry, I'm doing this in a really loud voice.

I'm supposed to be hush tone.

We need to look into that, don't we?

-Sorry.

-Quiet please... And, action!

This programme contains strong language.

The best thing with the whole show is that we've been doing it

for three, four years now?

And I think at every point...

it's become more fun.

All of those moments in-between the takes

become all the more precious and meaningful, really,

cos you're suddenly doing them with your friends

and not just a group of actors, but there's been lots of silliness.

I'm gonna sneeze.

Like that, there you go. There's an out-take right there.

An out-take within the out-takes video and may I be the first to say, bless you?

Thank you.

And I saw her,

and, um...

She, um...

Oh, should we be acting now?

-We're shooting now.

-OK, sorry.

Now, you're sure you don't want to come in for a coffee?

Cut!

HE MOUTHS AS DOG BARKS

Hiya... Fuck!

THEY LAUGH

I need to put it in reverse when I come in.

Oh, Dave,

I've got DVD, VHS and some lovely stuff on...

On... Fucking hell, Betamax.

Now what about a bra, do you want something comfy or sluttish?

-I honestly don't know.

-Well, do you want to uplift them, like this?

Or, push them in, like this?

Relaxed?

Tense.

Relaxed. Tense.

OK? Soft.

-Hard.

-No!

Sling your hook, you pervert, or I'll break your arm.

This is a rehearsal, isn't it, because I haven't got 50p in my pocket.

Props are, for me personally, always a bit of a nightmare,

because I am not very good at doing two things at the same time.

-All right, Stace?

-No, no, I'm not.

It's Gav, I think he's finished with me.

You'd better get in that kiosk.

There's your gift.

Actually, Ness, he's not eligible for the gift, he only paid £1.

Oh, bollocks.

One of the really annoying ones was in the Christmas Special.

I naturally did this quite funny move with a cigarette, didn't I?

-Yeah, I remember thinking it was hilarious.

-I smoked, and the box...

I put the cigarette in my mouth, picked up the present, gave it to Gav,

was told he hadn't paid his £1 so he wasn't eligible.

He only paid £1.

No, no, no, right, let's do it again.

-Just do it again.

-Still running.

And I missed out a line, as well.

Er, OK.

And took the present back...

-And it was that move.

-Yeah, it was that.

I did it naturally the first time - perfectly.

Could I remember it after that? No.

Putting the present in my mouth probably and giving him the cigarette.

It was awful.

Actually, Ness, he's not eligible for the gift, he only paid £1.

Right,

Well...

THEY ALL LAUGH

The rhythm was perfect.

That was really good, Ruth. It's still rolling.

Sweetheart, will you please phone me?

I'll explain...

Cigarettes and drinking are particularly difficult ones

because if you're not really with it that day, you've had it.

Any more bombshells you want to drop before I go?

-At least finish your beer.

-What, that?

-It's bound to happen at some point.

-It's gonna happen!

Just the four of you then, is it?

-Yeah.

-Go on, then, in you go.

Right... Oh!

Fuck!

Thanks, bye.

673, take two A and B.

And you're sure you just want a conservatory?

Look, we've been through this.

I know, just hear me out...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry!

There you go.

I'm so sorry!

Good job it didn't go down that!

Can you pick it up? I'm sorry.

There's a scene in series one where I, um...

spray breath freshener in Matt's, in Gavin's mouth.

ALL: Oi, oi!

It was just set wrong.

It couldn't have been more perfect.

It literally just went, bang, right in his eye.

ALL: Oi, oi!

All the boys, Budgie and Fingers,

had to come round and go, Way-hey! And Matt's in agony,

And I was going, no, no, no, and they were just carrying on,

not knowing.

-Just put it there.

-Well, put it there.

Oh, there go the decs.

Fuck! Sorry!

I'm going over here. Sorry.

So sorry!

-Can we do it again, please?

-Still rolling, reset!

How long has that one been?

23.5, that's just under a couple of minutes less than last time.

So, at least we are going in the right direction, eh, Ness?

Is there time for...one more?

-Very difficult move, for me...

-Very difficult.

-For the young actor.

-Cut.

Get me anything?

I was thinking that you could have some of my apple pie.

Thanks, Bryn.

Give it a minute.

-I will need to put it to my mouth to eat it, won't I? I imagine.

-Yes.

-Give it a minute.

-We haven't really got a minute, Rob.

-Can you hand the pie over? >

-Have you got the pie?

Is the pie on your possession? In your...

That's not a pie, Rob.

Cut there.

I remember when we were filming at the driving range,

a mile away, in the next field, there was a herd of cows

and for some reason they started, not even mooing, just like...

Uhh!

It wasn't even that, it was like, uhh-uhh, uhh-uhh!

And it happened in these really poignant moments.

It's not your fault, I just didn't know what to say, really.

It's OK.

How you feeling, all right?

COW MOOS

Fucking better than him!

Fucking hell!

There are certain people who are prone to giggling.

Like, Joanna Page is a massive giggler.

-But Alison Steadman...

-Oh, she's the best.

She gets this real, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo.

-Julia...

-Julia Davis.

So the combination between Steadman and Davis...

-And then you chuck Scarborough in the mix.

-Oh...

I've got Beaches, Breakfast at Tiffany's and Doubt.

-Doubt, never heard of that.

-You will have done. Meryl Streep's this nun

and the big, strawberry blonde fellow from Patch Adams is this priest.

I'm so sorry.

-Oh, shit.

-Oh, dear.

-Cut!

-I'm so sorry.

They just had this line,

the strawberry blonde fellow from Patch Adams.

It's obviously Philip Seymour Hoffman

and for Alison, it was the idea of dismissing this man's work

with the strawberry blonde fellow from Patch Adams.

-Doubt, never heard of that.

-Oh, yeah, you will have done.

Meryl Streep's this nun and the big, strawberry blonde fellow from Patch Adams...

I'm sorry.

-Are you all right, Julia?

-Mmm.

Julia loves being on the edge of that...

She has said that she thinks, for her...

Cos I know when we did Nighty Night, she always used to say,

if I'm having to fight laughing, I know it's funny.

She doesn't like it if she's not on the edge, laughing.

Meryl Streep's this nun and the big, strawberry blonde fellow

from Patch Adams is the priest and he's been fiddling...

And, cut.

I think Alison just gets quite guilty, doesn't she?

-Yeah.

-She feels she ought not to be laughing. She's very apologetic.

-I've got Beaches...

-I love that.

Breakfast At Tiffany's and Doubt...

-Oh, I'm sorry, this is terrible, it's like a disease. I'm so sorry.

-Cut.

Once that grips you, that hysteria,

you're absolutely ruined. You can't get beyond it.

I'm sorry. Right.

Where shall I go from?

Please, tell me.

Take seven, please.

I've forgot what my line is.

-OK.

-BLEEP

-See you in a bit...

I can't feel a thing.

I haven't got a clue

cos I can't work out what's wrong unless you tell... Sorry.

Let me eat my dinner in peace,

the way Jesus would have wanted me to on his birthday.

Cut!

I've completely blown it, I'm really sorry.

It's your line.

Owain said it's best to start from ten feet tall...

-The time I felt for you the most was with Matt Lucas.

-Oh, Matt.

-Because it was just relentless.

-One word...

Two words...

One more word.

Nutter!

That's the worst I've ever been.

I've never been like that.

I've never, ever been like that in my life.

This one's on me.

A lager.

Like it.

I'm so sorry, it's gone out of me head.

I was pinching myself.

I thought, if I can counter-balance this with sheer pain,

I won't be able to laugh.

My name's Chris, but you can call me Jammy.

-Can I do a pick-up?

-The screen's going nuts now!

-It was when he went like this to you.

-Oh...

He grabbed his face.

I know what you want better than you do.

-Come on!

-Come on!

I'm so sorry.

-That's all right, I got it then, didn't I?

-You didn't.

Didn't I? Oh.

He was going, "Does he have to be here?"

And they were like, "Yeah, he's in the shot." We both went, "Oh, God!"

This... James!

-Is he in shot?

-You can cut there.

It was a tough day, that one.

-Fun though, I wouldn't swap it for anything.

-No.

High five. You know what, forget that, big tens.

Larry, can you do your planned?

-Yeah, I had a mouthful of peas, darling.

-Ah.

-The director told me I had to eat.

-Yeah.

My mum said, "Don't talk while you're eating."

I'm getting a bit fucking confused here.

EVERYONE LAUGHS

The curry scene in episode two of series three,

I had to eat this curry with my left hand and with my fingers as well.

What?

I made it...

I just took too much meat.

I did at one point, I just took too much food.

I over-gauged it.

Shall I rewind, or...?

-What do you want?

-Pick it up, Ruth, it's still rolling.

You have to think small, small mouthfuls when you're eating on TV.

-That's the secret to it.

-You can always add a bigger chew.

-Yeah, a bigger chew.

-But you can never take away...

-No.

-..the sustenance.

I made it sexual, Pam.

Hang on, it's nearly there.

There, OK.

I tell you the one thing I never minded eating a lot -

and I had to actually even rein it in a bit - the omelettes.

-You loved the omelettes.

-I loved the omelettes.

-I remember talking to you and you were polishing one off in-between takes.

-That's true.

That's it, we've just got to sit and wait now.

You... Sorry!

It got stuck in my throat.

Cut there, thank you.

Pam! What are you doing?

Oh, my Christ... I just...

The other day, your mum's, firewood up in the garden.

For lunch, a couple of sausages, a bit of bread, lovely.

Cut the sausages...oh. Firewood up the...oh...

The other day, at your mum's, in the garden... Fire...oh!

The other day, at your mum's, firewood up in the garden.

For lunch, a couple of sausages, a bit of bread, lovely...

-You're having too much fun now.

-Hang on.

-Still rolling.

HE SPEAKS WELSH

Kebabs... Oh, twat.

-You've got twat in there as well?

-I have, yeah. 10p a pound.

-We'll have some twat then.

-Yeah, love it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I forgot the hello.

Wow! All right, Ness?

Don't come too close, Grav... Grav?

Still rolling, please.

I had a particularly attractive pink dressing gown

that I wore in the second series

which Mat Horne came face-to-face with on one occasion

and that threw him.

I think it threw everybody. It threw me.

It was quite a piece.

-Wow!

-Don't come too close.

Keep rolling.

Wow! All right, Ness?

-Don't come too close, Gav, my breath is rank.

-Nice.

No, seriously, it reeks.

What are you laughing at?

There was a time when we were shooting in a bowling alley, and for some reason,

I don't know quite what was happening to me that day,

I came in going, Gavinder, jia, jia.

And then I remember looking at Matt and Matt was looking at me

with a face that said, "What are you doing?"

I was like, "I don't know."

Gavinder, jia, jia...

All right, Smith.

-Nessa.

-All right, Gav, how's it going?

How's... Oh, there's no point in it!

BLEEP

It was just getting bigger and bigger every take.

Gavlar!

Gavinder, jia, jia!

Then by the end it was like, Gavinder, jia, jia!

Like, it was so silly.

You went down then, after that.

I crashed, yeah.

Gavinder, jia, jia!

-Fucking hell, What was that?

-I don't know!

-BLEEP

-Cut there!

-I don't think there's anyone in the cast that looks to...

-Make you laugh?

-Brydon, a touch.

-Brydon is...

-If it's anyone, it's Brydon.

-185, take...

-Oh, shit!

What are you doing, idiot!

-I'm sorry, Mr Brydon.

-I'm joking, everybody. Joke...

Alison...

Me ald cack an' a sporro!

Why have I got to look like a dick?

Well, I don't think you do look like a dick, Ness.

What's a "dickness"?

He's sitting in our house, eating our food, drinking our squash,

driving us to bingo on his bus.

I am freaking out!

I can't take it and I've gone completely wrong.

I've missed a big bit out earlier from a speech

and we haven't got time, this is costing us dearly!

He's in love!

And there ain't nothing you can do about it.

I love you, Brynlar.

I do...

So sorry.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God!

-And you're the father.

-Oh, my God!

-HE LAUGHS

-So sorry.

All that pouring is wasted.

# Deny my place in time

# You've wandered... #

HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

Who... Shall I just...?

I've noticed more recently he laughs a lot more on set.

I think he's just happy to be in a hit.

He gets this little glint in his eye.

He can't believe his luck.

He thinks, wow, it's come back round again.

I'm joking!

Action.

HE FARTS

Was that you, Rob?

THEY ALL LAUGH

On action as well! That's not bad, is it?

You don't know how long I was hanging on to that.

THEY ALL LAUGH

Like that? Which way?

-Upside down.

-OK.

In series two, we see Nessa driving a truck.

-She helps...

-You loved that truck, didn't you?

I loved the truck.

Going up and down the dual carriageway and, you know,

passing bin lorries and they'd be doing double-takes at me.

"Look at that woman driving that truck!"

Anyway, so, I got a little bit cocky by the end

and the very last shot I had to do

was me driving away from Pam and Mick's house.

Easy, I can handle that. I've been driving a few weeks now in this.

And I pull out,

just miss Bryn's Picasso.

Carry on up the road.

And I just heard this sort of noise. I looked in my wing mirror

and I realised I had just scraped all along the side of this car.

It was this orange car, wasn't it? It was bouncing like that.

Larry stood just in front of me and I just remember him going,

"She's hit the car.

"She's hit the bloody car!"

Like that. And I was like...

-What did she hit?

-That car!

And, of course, it was awful for the man whose car it was.

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for doing that to your car.

Everybody saw you swap the cards over so that you can sit, like some lecherous...

..Yacking on, talking a bit too loud.

You're sitting there, looking down her top, like a paedophile.

Don't talk to her like that.

She's wearing a perfectly respectable dress.

Julia and Adrian are two of the best actors

you could ever wish to work with.

They've both got this, what we call, like, a glint in their eye,

where they love a laugh and there's been so many times like,

the line where she calls him a pre-op...

in the field when he just loses it.

-You're an embarrassment.

-I'm an embarrassment! I'm an embarrassment?

Take a look in the mirror, you pre-op.

Dawn, there's no need for that.

Come on, you two.

-You bought this?

-Yeah.

So there's no money for me to play golf on Sunday,

but there's money for you to splash out on champagne?

-Don't be...

-I've got a crisp stuck in my gullet!

The wedding vows.

Oh, when we were writing that, we couldn't wait,

we were just savouring it so much.

The thought of those two using the lyrics from Michael Jackson's Ben...

Oh!

-..to reaffirm their love for each other.

-So perfect!

With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone.

And you my friend will see, you've got a friend in me.

Pete, you're always running here and there.

SHE LAUGHS Sorry!

Sorry!

There's one where you just see Adrian's face

and it's that kind of beautiful agony.

He just... He can't...

He wants to so much.

He so wants to hold it together and it just goes. It goes.

Pete, most people would turn you away.

I don't listen to a word they say.

They don't see you...

SHE LAUGHS As I do.

You look ridiculous.

I'm sorry.

You may now seal your views...

vows of renewal.

Just pick it up. Still rolling!

Oh, my God!

Better get my quiches in.

You'd better get those quee-shays in there, Pamelar.

Go, go, go!

What do you think I've been doing? I've been...

-What's with all them signs in the window?

-Oh, hello, my little Prince!

It's your mother and her campaign.

THEY ALL LAUGH

-Come in!

-I'm sorry.

You've got the show in a box and that's one thing.

The best thing about something like this

is that they're the bits in-between.

They are the moments that show you...

what it was like producing that in a box.

You've got Lucy. What about Lucy?

She's on some student exchange thing dicking round the Dordogne.

HE LAUGHS

Stop laughing, darling!

OK, thanks, Pamela.

-It's not funny, darling.

-I know, Pamela.

-Still rolling.

-All right. Go on.

-Sorry. Go on.

-That's so childish.

We just had a huge amount of fun.

So, seeing the out-takes

just reminds me of the fun that we all had.

I'll let you in for a pound if you're leaving the gift.

Sorry. Just do it again.

Can I have a word?

Have you got any johnnies?

I ain't going in there bareback.

-We'll have to stop off...

-Oh, come on!

-Come on!

-Sorry. Let's do it.

The best thing about out-takes is you just get to see a glimpse

of what it's like all day.

They all just remind me of how great it was making this show, you know?

So, yeah, that's it. But, er...

Yeah. What's happening with you?

We've got there.

-Ooh!

-Cut! That was brilliant.

Right.

THEY ALL LAUGH

-Cut.

-It's funny though, isn't it? It's funny.

# Sometimes it seems

# The going is just too rough

# And things go wrong no matter what I do

# Now and then it seems like life it just too much... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]