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I want to put that on ma heid. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
Know what I want to do? I want to put that on ma heid. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
Don't ask me why. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
Done! | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
Ha, ha, ha, welcome to Limmy's Show. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
MUSIC: "Oxygene Pt IV" by Jean-Michel Jarre | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
You're watching Adventure Call. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
My name is Falconhoof and I will be your guide on your quest. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
Greetings, line two. What is your name, traveller? | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
Hi, Falconhoof, my name's Ewan! | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
Greetings, Ewan. Are you ready to begin your quest? | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
'Just a moment. Shhh.' | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
-EWAN GLUGS -'Ah!' | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
What was that you were drinking? It seems very delicious. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:08 | |
'It is! It's Barry's Red Cola!' | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Ah! Barry's Red Cola. Sparkling, tasty and refreshing. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:15 | |
A great companion on any adventure. Are you ready to begin yours? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:20 | |
-'I am now!' -Very well. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
You awake in a giant's kitchen. You're on a plate. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
Nearby is a steel goblet. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
You hear thunderous footsteps approaching. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
What would you like to do? | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
'Hide in the goblet!' | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
You climb over the lip of the goblet | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
and dive into a pool of... | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
Barry's Red Cola! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
'Oh, really?' | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
-Yes, really. -'Man, I love that stuff.' | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
Me, too. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
The giant searches the room for you. He glances towards the goblet. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:52 | |
What would you like to do? | 0:01:52 | 0:01:53 | |
'Drink Barry's Red Cola!' | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
You drink the delicious Barry's Red Cola. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
The goblet is empty. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:04 | |
You sit at the bottom of the goblet, safely out of view. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:08 | |
Good idea, traveller. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:09 | |
'I have a confession, Falconhoof. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
'It was luck! I just couldn't help drinking all that Barry's Red Cola!' | 0:02:11 | 0:02:15 | |
Ha-ha-ha. I hear you! | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
Unfortunately, the giant also loves Barry's Red Cola | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
and begins refilling the goblet from his bottle. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
What would you like to do? | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
'Drink Barry's Red Cola!' | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
You drink the Barry's Red Cola as it pours over you. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
Barry's Red Cola also tastes great straight from the bottle. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:36 | |
You remain out of view at the bottom of the goblet. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
Another great idea, traveller. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
But don't tell me it was luck. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
you just couldn't help drinking all that... | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
-BOTH: -Barry's Red Cola! | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
'Hey, you can't blame me, huh?' | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
No way, man! But the giant keeps pouring faster than you can drink! | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
You must act quickly. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
'Let me think about it.' | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
HEARTY GLUGGING | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
'Ah!' | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
-Traveller? -'Yeah?' | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
-You're dead! -'Oh, no! What happened?' | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
You drowned in Barry's Red Cola. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
What a glorious way to die. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
'Yeah. I was too busy enjoying the real thing.' | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
Ah, yes. What better way to enjoy red cola, | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
than the real thing, the REAL red cola, Barry's Red Cola. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:25 | |
CALLER HANGS UP | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
Let's take another call. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
MUSIC: "Boom Boom Boom Boom" by Vengaboys | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
# Let's spend the night together | 0:03:35 | 0:03:36 | |
# From now until forever | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
# Boom boom boom boom, I wanna double boom | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
# Let's spend the night together, together in my room... # | 0:03:41 | 0:03:45 | |
What the...?! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:52 | |
Oh, hold on. I put it on for a laugh, but it's good - you should try it! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
Oh, how you doing? | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
I was thinking of getting one of these. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:11 | |
-I was thinking maybe that one? -HESITANTLY: -Mmm, yeah, yeah... | 0:04:11 | 0:04:15 | |
Pretty standard, but... But, yeah, why not? | 0:04:15 | 0:04:19 | |
I might not even need that, you know? | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
I was thinking maybe, even just that? | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
That's... That one, It's, it's pretty basic. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
Entry level. I mean, what... I wouldn't. Hsss... | 0:04:26 | 0:04:30 | |
So what about that? | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
HE EXHALES SHARPLY | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
Serious bit of kit here. This is actually what I've got in the hoose. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:39 | |
But I'm no' sure if I need all that, though, you know? | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
I might be fine with that. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:44 | |
That's... Basic, entry-level, that. Wouldnae get that. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
You're thinking maybe more that? | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
-HE SQUEAKS: -Hmmm, yeah, it's pretty standard, but... | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
-Thinking more that one? -(Serious bit of kit. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
(It's a serious... I mean, you're talking...) | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
HE EXHALES SHARPLY | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
-No' that one. -Hsss. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:02 | |
That's entry level, basic, I mean, it's up to you. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
I think I'll take that one. Thanks. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
Miaow! | 0:05:08 | 0:05:09 | |
Here, how annoying is this? | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
No' annoying at all, eh? How about if I play this? | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
CHEESY REGGAE MUSIC | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
And I start doing this... | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
And I look like this. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:28 | |
This is pretty annoying, in't it? | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
The hat, the top, the whole thing. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
Aye, this is pretty annoying. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
How about if I start doing this? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
And this? | 0:05:39 | 0:05:40 | |
And occasionally do this? | 0:05:43 | 0:05:44 | |
And just to top it off, I do this. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
GRATING, NASAL LAUGHTER | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
HE LAUGHS AGAIN | 0:05:56 | 0:05:57 | |
That's pretty annoying, in't it? | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
TENSE, DRAMATIC MUSIC | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Drop the gun! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
YOU drop the gun! | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
Drop the gun! | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
Slow-ly! | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
I ain't droppin' shit! | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
You want to do this the old way? | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
Let's do it! | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
Drop the gun, asshole. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
You drop it, pigshit! | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
Drop the gun, dicksplash. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:33 | |
You drop it, lamewad. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
Drop the gun, douchebin. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
It's douche-BAG, you idiot. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
Well, I say douchebin. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
Well, I say drop the gun, douchebag. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
Drop the gun, you mother-asshole. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:50 | |
You already said asshole. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
This time I'm saying mother-asshole. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
You prick. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
-You're the dick. -I said prick. Not dick. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
But I'm callin' you a dick. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
You wank! | 0:07:04 | 0:07:05 | |
I'll wank you, you dick. Shit! | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
Sheee-iit! | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
-TV: -And if you've been affected by any of the issues raised | 0:07:14 | 0:07:18 | |
in tonight's programme, call the number at the bottom of your screen. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
'Hello?' | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Hello, is this the number to phone if I've been affected | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
-by any of the issues in... -'Yes, it is.' | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
Right, well, I've been affected | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
by some of the issues in tonight's programme. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
'Ah, sorry to hear that, sweetheart. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
'OK, thanks for calling. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
'Bye for now!' | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
All right. Bye. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
MAN HANGS UP | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
Miaow! | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
HE EXHALES DRAMATICALLY | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
HE HISSES | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
HE EXHALES DRAMATICALLY | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Miaow! | 0:08:33 | 0:08:34 | |
Just going to leave that there. All right? | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
Hello, my name's Raymond Day, and welcome to Paraside. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
Let's see where the spirit takes us. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
Could someone understand, please? | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
I have here in spirit someone who, at the time of their passing, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:21 | |
looked very different from how they usually looked, | 0:09:21 | 0:09:25 | |
and not necessarily for the better. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
You, my dear? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
I think it might be my son. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
It might be your son. OK. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:33 | |
And am I right in saying that this change in his appearance | 0:09:33 | 0:09:37 | |
was caused by...an illness? | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
Or an accident? Or...? | 0:09:40 | 0:09:41 | |
Yeah, an accident. He was killed in a car crash. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:45 | |
A crash? Oh, God! | 0:09:45 | 0:09:46 | |
And you saw what had happened when you went to identify him. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:50 | |
Am I right? | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Well, I was in the car with him, | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
but I had my seat belt on, so I survived but he didn't. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
Oh, lucky you! | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
No, no, you weren't lucky, because you saw your son and he was, | 0:10:01 | 0:10:06 | |
and he admits this himself, not a pretty picture. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
His face was all over the place. Is that right? | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
Good, because he's telling me now, who's this? | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
My husband. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
This is Husband. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
You told Husband you couldn't get that face out of your mind. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:24 | |
Every time you closed your eyes, it was there. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
It's just not how you want to remember your son. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
But he's telling me now, | 0:10:30 | 0:10:33 | |
"Don't cry, Mum! they've put me back together again. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:37 | |
"All the king's horses and all the king's men | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
"have put me back together again." | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
Just like the nursery rhyme you used to sing to him, remember? | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
He just wants to come through to tell you that. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:50 | |
And that's him away. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:51 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
But now he's away, I can tell you. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
He's a mess. He's no different. He was trying to cheer you up, | 0:10:58 | 0:11:02 | |
but I thought you'd want the truth, | 0:11:02 | 0:11:03 | |
cos you're going to see it eventually. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
-And don't worry, I think you'll have plenty of time to get used to it! -LAUGHTER | 0:11:07 | 0:11:11 | |
That was nice of him. I'll leave his love with you. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
OMINOUS GROWLING | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
GROWLING | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
LOUD GROWL | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
GROWLING | 0:11:27 | 0:11:28 | |
FEROCIOUS BARKING | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
I'm going to say something to you right now | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
that I've never said to another living soul in my life. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
GIBBERISH | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
CHEESY CABARET-ACT MUSIC | 0:11:41 | 0:11:48 | |
'I hate my job. I hate my job, I hate it! | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
'I hate it, I hate it, I hate my job!' | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
BELL SOUNDS | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
Now there's a guy that hates his job. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
DOORBELL SOUNDS | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
All right? | 0:12:48 | 0:12:49 | |
All right? This is going to sound strange, | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
-but I used to stay here when I was younger. -Right. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
And I was wondering, could I come in and have a wee look about? | 0:12:55 | 0:12:59 | |
I don't know about that, mate. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
I knew it'd sound strange. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
The thing is, me and my family are moving to New Zealand next week, | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
we're never coming back, | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
so I've been going about getting one last look at all my old memories | 0:13:08 | 0:13:12 | |
before I leave. Do you know what I mean? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
I just thought I could maybe come back and have a wee look, | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
and, I don't know... | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
Aye, all right. Come in for a minute. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Oh, amazing mate, thanks a lot! | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
Oh, it's just how I remember it. This wall used to be Artexed. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:27 | |
In fact, I think the whole thing used to be Artexed. Remember Artex? | 0:13:27 | 0:13:31 | |
Aye, the Artex. Here, where are you going? | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
Sorry, mate, it's just, this used to be my bedroom. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:38 | |
Would you mind? | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
-No, no, on ye go. -Some man. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
Oh, look at this, look at this. It's a lot wee-er than I remember, | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
but obviously I was wee myself, know what I mean? | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
Aye, it was yellow up to about there, | 0:13:50 | 0:13:54 | |
cos I started painting it yellow, but ran out of paint. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
-Eh, listen, could you, could you gie's a minute? -Aye, nae bother. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:02 | |
-Tae myself? -Naw, I cannae do that, mate. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
Listen, do you want to leave now? I'm pretty busy. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
It'll just be a minute mate. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
-I've got stuff to get on with. Come on. -No, just a minute! | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
What, are you asking or are you telling? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Now get oot! Get oot my fuckin' hoose! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:16 | |
All right, all right! I'm leaving! 'Sake! | 0:14:16 | 0:14:20 | |
FLOORBOARD SQUEAKS | 0:14:27 | 0:14:28 | |
Mate! Mate! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
You looking for this? | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
Aw! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:02 | |
Oh, cheers mate! | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
Aw, chokin', man! | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Couldnae do us another favour, give us 20 to get back to Royston? | 0:15:17 | 0:15:21 | |
Naw? | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
CHEESY REGGAE MUSIC ANNOYING LAUGHTER | 0:15:25 | 0:15:30 | |
Can't get much more annoying than this, eh? How about this? | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
SMASHING SOUND | 0:15:35 | 0:15:36 | |
Oh, sorry mate! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
GRATING LAUGH | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
Or this. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:42 | |
HE BELCHES | 0:15:42 | 0:15:43 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
HE BELCHES | 0:15:47 | 0:15:48 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:15:48 | 0:15:49 | |
Or this? | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
HE BELCHES | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
Ah, sorry, mate! | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
It's about as annoying as it gets. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
-You wanted to see me? -Yeah. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:11 | |
I'm going to have to let you go. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
What! What for?! | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
I can't have you spreading your negativity around the workplace. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
I don't know what you mean! | 0:16:23 | 0:16:24 | |
'I hate my job. I hate my job.' | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
'I hate it, hate it, hate it! Hate my job. I hate my job.' | 0:16:31 | 0:16:35 | |
How did you get in...? | 0:16:35 | 0:16:36 | |
BELL SOUNDS | 0:16:36 | 0:16:37 | |
Who's that? That's... | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
Now THERE'S a guy who hates his job. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:40 | |
HE WITTERS PITIFULLY | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
OMINOUS, EERIE MUSIC | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
It's... | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
DOOR CLOSES | 0:17:08 | 0:17:09 | |
So you bought yourself a new motor. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
ENGINE REVS | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
A yellow motor! | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
ENGINE REVS | 0:17:17 | 0:17:18 | |
What were you thinking? | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
Can I have a roll and chips, please? | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
HE SINGS RAGGA TUNE | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
HE JOINS IN | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
-What you daein'? -Joining in. -But I don't know you, mate. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:42 | |
-Aye, all right... -I don't know you! | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
HE EXHALES | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
JAUNTY JAZZ TUNE PLAYS | 0:18:05 | 0:18:08 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:19:12 | 0:19:13 | |
MUSIC FADES | 0:19:19 | 0:19:21 | |
KISSES BECOME AUDIBLE | 0:19:21 | 0:19:22 | |
May God forgive me for what I'm about to say, | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
but sometimes I wish it was you that was in that water! | 0:19:44 | 0:19:48 | |
Jokin'! | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
-STONED DRAWL: -Fuckin'... Minding my own business. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:57 | |
DOORBELL | 0:19:57 | 0:19:58 | |
Your neighbour isn't in. Would you mind signing for this? | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
What? | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
Recorded delivery. For your neighbour. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:06 | |
Just put a note through their door to say you've got it. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
Right. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
'Back tae the telly. Homes Under The Hammer, a good yin. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
'Somebody'd bought a barn, wanted to dae it up. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
'I thought, "Dee-Dee, who you fuckin' kidding?" | 0:20:15 | 0:20:18 | |
'What's in that box? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
'I thought, "Come on, don't start, Homes Under The Hammer, tune in." | 0:20:20 | 0:20:24 | |
'Wee voice went, "Dee-Dee, sitting there's a box | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
'"and you don't know what's in it." | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
'I mean, who has a box in their hoose | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
'and they don't even know what's in it? Isnae right! | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
'I just thought, "Gonnae drap it? Take your mind aff it!" | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
'Look, there's Jeremy Kyle - you happy? | 0:20:37 | 0:20:40 | |
'This Morning, Judge Judy, Loose Women, fuckin'... | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
'Cash In The Attic, Bargain Hunt, Flog It! | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
'Fuckin'...Murder She Wrote, Midsomer Murders, Heartbeat. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:50 | |
'Fuckin'...Alan Titchmarsh! We can get through this! Get rid of it. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
'Papped it ootside his door, his problem. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
'Aye, but then I thought, | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
'Dee-Dee, "What if it gets knocked, or somebody wrecks it?" | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
'Wee glue-sniffer makes his way up here, or a fox. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
'You'll get the blame! But what if he knocks it himself? | 0:21:05 | 0:21:08 | |
'Makes you buy him a new one, so he ends up wi' two? | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
'You better believe you have tae sign for the new wan, as well. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:15 | |
'Doin' your nut in again. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:16 | |
'You dumping it again, him bumping it again. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
'Two become four, four become eight, eight become...whatever it is. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:23 | |
'Started chapping doors to palm it off to somebody else. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:27 | |
'But naebody would help. Naebody was in. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
'Too busy working, thinking aboot themselves. All bar one.' | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
Aye, right! | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
'Didn't know what tae dae.' | 0:21:34 | 0:21:35 | |
'Couldn't have it inside, outside, couldn't let it oot ma sight. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:39 | |
'Stumped. Trapped. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:40 | |
'I'd only one option left.' | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
TV BLARES FROM NEXT DOOR | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
All right? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
I'm no' angry. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:03 | |
I'm disappointed, but I'm not angry. So here's what I'm going to do. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:07 | |
I'm going to turn around, I'm going to shut my eyes, | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
and I want whoever took the plate to put it back | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
and I'm willing to draw a line under it, right there. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
OK? OK. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
Oh, thank God. Thanks for coming over. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
What's this all about? You didn't make any sense on the phone. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
-He's goin' about with one of them on his heid. -Ha-ha! What for? | 0:22:33 | 0:22:37 | |
I don't know. It's no' funny! Gonnae just get him to stop? | 0:22:37 | 0:22:41 | |
Get oot! | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
I'm sorry Irene. He's right, it's good! | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
See you later. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:07 | |
You'll see him now! Get oot! The two of yous! Oot! | 0:23:07 | 0:23:12 | |
Irene? I'm.... | 0:23:20 | 0:23:21 | |
CHEESY REGGAE PLAYS | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
-SMASHING SOUND -Oh, sorry! | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
ANNOYING LAUGH | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
This really is as annoying as it gets, eh? | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
Well, how about this one last thing? | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
BELCHING, LAUGHING AND CHEESY REGGAE | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
Imagine something like this, eh? | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
True story. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
SALESMAN SUCKS HIS TEETH | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
Miaow! | 0:24:03 | 0:24:05 | |
SALESMAN EXHALES DRAMATICALLY | 0:24:05 | 0:24:08 | |
HE HISSES, MEWS AND EXHALES REPEATEDLY | 0:24:08 | 0:24:15 | |
Miaow! | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
OK. Let's introduce ourselves. I'm Neil. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:33 | |
-My name's Darren. -Hello, I'm Julie. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:35 | |
Ma name's Jacqueline McCafferty. I lost... | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
We'll just go through the names first, Jacqueline. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
'I was on that stupid group therapy...' | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
-I'm Kerry. -I'm Nadine. -I'm Vince. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
So, Jacqueline, do you want to share? | 0:24:45 | 0:24:48 | |
I lost three year of my life tae hero-ine. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
Another five tae a methadone programme meant to get us off it | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
but that's me clean now! | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
I haven't thought once about going back on the smack, until Tuesday. | 0:24:56 | 0:25:00 | |
Washing machine broke. Neighbour says, "You flooded us! | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
"Third time this month!" I was like, "It's the second!" | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
Third? Second? Third? Second? Stressed oot the eyeballs! | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
Felt like daein' a charge of kit into my arm there and then! | 0:25:08 | 0:25:11 | |
So here I am. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
I know how you feel. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
I lost four year of my life to heroin, and four on methadone. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:20 | |
That's me been out of work for about six month now. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
-The pressure... -Eight year all-in? | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
You lost like, four year on the hero-ine, | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
-and four year on the methadone? Eight year? -Aye. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
Well, same here! I'm five and three, you're nae worse than me! | 0:25:31 | 0:25:35 | |
I know. We've all had it bad. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
-Aye, so... -So I've been unemployed for six months | 0:25:37 | 0:25:43 | |
but there's still bills that need to get paid, and the pressure... | 0:25:43 | 0:25:46 | |
Haud on! You were on the hero-ine for a year more than me | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
but methadone a year less? | 0:25:49 | 0:25:50 | |
I think so? | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
I lost five on methadone! You only lost four! Methadone's worse! | 0:25:52 | 0:25:56 | |
-Aye, for some! -Methadone's worse! | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
We agree, don't we? Methadone's worse than hero-ine, in't it?! | 0:25:58 | 0:26:03 | |
-Well, no' for me! -Oh, no, not for you, not for Princess! | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
Well, I thought a lot about heroin over the last couple of months, | 0:26:06 | 0:26:11 | |
despite having lost everything to it. It's just the pressure. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:14 | |
-Lost everything? -Pretty much. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
-Lose your daughter to the Social? -My sons? | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
Well, getting two weans back is better than getting one! | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
I've no' got them back! | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
-Methadone's worse! -What?! -This isnae a competition, hen! | 0:26:24 | 0:26:28 | |
Can I get a shot? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
You've lost three year to heroin, right? Another five tae methadone? | 0:26:30 | 0:26:35 | |
Well, I've lost three to heroin, but I only lost three to methadone. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:42 | |
SENTIMENTAL MUSIC | 0:26:45 | 0:26:49 | |
Awright? | 0:26:51 | 0:26:52 | |
Come here, you, ya bastard! | 0:26:58 | 0:26:59 | |
Want the plate? Want the plate? | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
There I'll rub your face in it! Gaun', ya bastard! | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
-Oh, my God! What happened? -HE SOBS | 0:27:06 | 0:27:10 | |
TENSE MUSIC | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
How about YOU? Hmm? | 0:28:00 | 0:28:05 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:28:35 | 0:28:38 | |
Hmmmm? | 0:28:38 | 0:28:40 |