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Here's a good example of a plant that you can't eat. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
So, two things. One, it's poisonous. And two, it would hurt. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
'The Parks Department has so many programmes.' | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
Jerry's in charge of our pre-teen nature hikes. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
For a while, it was a teenage nature hike, | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
but then we changed it because a girl got pregnant. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
Look what we have here, country honeysuckle, Pawnee-style. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
-Yeah, take a look at that. -Wow. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
It's pretty and it smells good. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:25 | |
Mmm. Smells great. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:26 | |
-Yeah, it's really nice. -Mmm. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:29 | |
-That's bitter. -Leslie, you don't eat it. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
-Oh! Why did you let me eat that? -I never told you to eat that. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
Oh! God. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:36 | |
Leslie, the animals know you don't eat the country honeysuckle. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:39 | |
-My tongue is swelling up. -No, don't touch it! OK, now you'll have to throw that away. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:42 | |
-Let's not scare the kids. -OK. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
-All right. -Well, there we go then. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
Let's see what else is here. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:47 | |
But I have to say, there's a very sweet aftertaste though. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:51 | |
So I have a piece of good news. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
I've invited a reporter to come do an article | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
about the pit behind your house. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
She writes for the Pawnee Journal, | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
which is kind of like our town's Washington Post. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
That sounds really good. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:35 | |
Thank you, Ann. It is a classic strategy. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
The press is a weapon and you can use it to kill people or to feed people. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
You know, the beginning of projects are very vulnerable, | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
and you have to make sure that you get a lot of press, | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
the momentum of that can kind of keep it alive, or else it'll die. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
I'm sure you remember the Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
The Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project was a great idea | 0:01:53 | 0:01:57 | |
that just ran out of steam. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
We had removed five cartoon penises, not even 10%, | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
when we were shut down due to lack of funding. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
To this day, I am haunted by those remaining penises. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
One penis in particular. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
Now, when the reporter gets here, | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
it is vital that we all follow my rules | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
about how to deal with the media. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
Rule number one, stay on message. This is key. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
All we need to talk about is the pit, | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
and the fact that we're going to turn it into a park. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
And that's it. OK? | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
Number two... | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
What? Stay on message again? | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
Yes, it's that important. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:32 | |
It's one and two. Stay on message and stay on message. Right? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:36 | |
-Stay on what, Ann? -Message. -Great. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
'Leslie formed a committee to fill the pit in a week,' | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
which is really impressive. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
I mean, until now, my only experience with government | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
was trying to get a recycling bin. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
Wait. Did I ever get it? | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
-Bye, Leslie. -Bye, Ann. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
-Hey, Mark? -Yeah. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
Buy you a cup of coffee? | 0:02:58 | 0:02:59 | |
This is JJ's Diner, the unofficial meeting place of Pawnee's political elite. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:07 | |
The people who eat here basically run this town. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
So, listen, I was hoping maybe I could pick your brain | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
about how to deal with the media. It's my first interview. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
What about that thing you did for the middle school newspaper last year? | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
Oh. No. I don't count that. That was a smear job. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
So I put together some discussion topics. Can I run them by you? | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
OK. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
What do you think her opening gambit is going to be? | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
What will she ask me first? | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
-How you spell your name. -Of course. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
-Because of the silent "K." You're so smart. -Yeah. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
OK, now should I give her a tour of the building... | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
How many discussion questions do you have there? | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
Um... Thirty. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:42 | |
Wow! | 0:03:42 | 0:03:44 | |
-You're insane. -You're insane. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
'Mark and I made love once.' | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
And it was very intense. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
Hi, I'm looking for Leslie Knope. | 0:03:57 | 0:03:59 | |
-OK. -LESLIE: -Oh! | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
-My ears are ringing. Hi. -Hi. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
-I'm Leslie Knope. -Hi. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:05 | |
I'm the deputy director of Parks and Recreation. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
-Shauna. -Malwae-Tweep. Yes, I am familiar with your work. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
I've read everything you've ever written. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
You did an amazing in-depth article on the raccoon problem here in Pawnee. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:16 | |
SHE GASPS | 0:04:16 | 0:04:17 | |
Who left the door open? No! No! No! | 0:04:17 | 0:04:21 | |
And I agree with you. They are nature's bandits. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:25 | |
Thanks. I was happy with that line. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
So, can I give you a quick tour before we get started? | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
I've been here before. A few times. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
-Quick tour? -OK. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
So there are ten murals here in this hallway. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
And this is called "The trial of Chief Wamapo". | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
It was painted in 1936 and this is Chief Wamapo | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
and he was convicted of crimes against the soldiers. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
I am always amazed at his quiet dignity... | 0:04:48 | 0:04:53 | |
..right before he's killed by a cannonball. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
I'm surprised no-one's complained about this. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
Oh, tons of people have. Yeah, we get letters every day. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:03 | |
This is Ron Swanson, our boss. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:04 | |
Ron, this is the reporter I was telling you about. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
-No comment. -About what? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:08 | |
Hey, Haverford, maybe one day you'll figure out how to spell a three-letter word. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
-SIGHS: -Come on, Ron. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:13 | |
I play a lot of online Scrabble with my boss, Ron Swanson, | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
and, oh, my God, that guy is the best. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:20 | |
He beats me every time. He kills me. He's awesome. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
I can't beat him. I should just close my account. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
HE GRUNTS | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
Well, Shauna, this is our crack team. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
-Hi, everyone. -Tom Haverford, boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:34 | |
That's a weird way to describe me. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:35 | |
April Ludgate, 19. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
Cool enough to be invited anywhere and chooses to be here. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
And finally, we've got Ann Perkins and Andy Dwyer. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
They're the real heroes of this story. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
Ann was the citizen who brought the pit to our attention. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
And Andy is the citizen who fell in it. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
Great. It's cool if I record this, right? | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
Yeah. Good. That way it's verbatim. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:02 | |
So, Leslie, you're in charge of the committee. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
I'm sorry. It's actually called a subcommittee, not a committee, so. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:11 | |
We can do all this on tape. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
Right. Sorry. Sure we can. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
And this is where you meet, generally? | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
Really? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
We meet at a bunch of different places. We don't always meet here. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:26 | |
So I didn't quite know how to answer that. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
OK, why don't I ask the rest of your team some questions | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
and then we will come back to you later? | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
OK, great. That's a good idea. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
Because these are the real heroes. I'll be in my office. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
So, Andy, tell me about the night you fell into the pit. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
Oh. Yeah. That's actually a great story. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
I just finished up a gig with my band Three Skin, | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
formerly Four Skin, but our bassist left for personal reasons. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
And I was taking a shortcut home, | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
and I thought I saw a toaster lying in the pit. | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
And I was like, "Maybe I should get that." | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
And I fell in and broke my legs. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Such a tragedy. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
Why would you want a toaster that's lying at the bottom of the pit? | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
I don't know. I was pretty wasted. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
Wait. You were drunk? | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
-Oh, yeah. Totally. You knew that. -I didn't know that, no. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:16 | |
We gave you anaesthesia at the hospital. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
I was probably not thinking cos I had two broken femurs and I was blackout drunk. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:22 | |
I can't believe I'm just finding this out right now. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
Like you're perfect. You're on the pill. You drink all the time. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:28 | |
-You're allowed to do that. -Stay on message. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
Thank you so much for bringing that up in front of a reporter. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
Leslie, it's not that bad, right? | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
I mean, why don't we just go back in there and talk about the park? | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
Oh, Ann. You're so sweet and innocent and pretty. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
The press are like sharks, and you guys just dumped a bucket of chum in the water. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
Hey, I just got your 15 texts. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
Mark. Listen, thank you for coming. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
-I tried to stay on message. -Mmm-hmm. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
But then, Ann and Andy sandbagged me. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
Andy was drunk when he fell in the pit. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
And it turns out that Ann is on birth-control pills. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
-OK. -Shauna is in the conference room, | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
and she's writing a really bad article and it'll destroy us all. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
Please fix it. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
April, let me ask you something. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:14 | |
Do you think I'm in the top five best-looking Indian guys in Pawnee? | 0:08:14 | 0:08:19 | |
-No. -Who do you think's got me beat? | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
That guy Hashish at City Planning? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Tommy boy. Let me tell you something, Tom. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
-You suck at Scrabble. -I know. You're destroying me. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
You're worse than my ex-wife, and she's terrible at Scrabble. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:32 | |
And she's a bitch. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:33 | |
-Look out, man. I'll get you one of these days. I'm practising. -I doubt that. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
Her name is Tammy Swanson and she's a serious bitch. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:08:39 | 0:08:40 | |
Hey, Leslie. I have to go. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:43 | |
Let's do the interview tomorrow morning at the pit. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:47 | |
Yeah. Perfect. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Great. I'll have a photographer meet us there. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
-OK. Great. -See you then. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
Disaster averted. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
-SHAUNA: -That was easy, right? -MARK: Yeah? | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
-SHAUNA: -Can we go in your car? -Absolutely. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
Cos I hate driving. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:02 | |
There's a beautiful view from over there. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
This is a great place to take a shot. Over there as well, so... | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
CAR HORN I think you're fine. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
Hi! | 0:09:17 | 0:09:18 | |
Hi. Sorry I'm late. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
Oh, no problem. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
Do you live near Mark? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
No, not at all. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
So he gave you a ride somehow? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
Yeah. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
You know, do you have a pen? Cos I don't... | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
No, sorry. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:35 | |
-Michael, do you have any paper I could borrow? -I might, yeah. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
I don't mean to complain, but I think Shauna is being a little unprofessional. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
She got here 15 minutes late. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
She's wearing the same dress she wore yesterday. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
And she had to get a ride from... | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
So how big is this lot? | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
-Leslie, how big is... -What? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
-How big is the lot? The lot? -How big is what? | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
I don't know. You tell me. How big is the lot? | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
A hundred or something. Give or take 100. I don't know. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:11 | |
-A hundred what? -I don't know, Shauna Malwae-Tweep. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
I don't know. I don't... I guess I don't know anything. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
-Are you OK? -I have to get something from my car. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
-What are you doing? -Kicking Ron's butt at Scrabble. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
-I just played lexicons for a billion points. -No, no, no, no, no. -What? | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
I was letting him win, dumbass. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
-Whatever. -Oh. Come on. "Lateral, communal, zonal"? | 0:10:44 | 0:10:49 | |
You dropped a "Z" in there? April. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:54 | |
So when did you start at the Parks Department? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
Well, it was a few years ago. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
My mother got me the job. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:02 | |
I was qualified. It's not like it was nepotism. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
Crap on a stick. OK, technically, yes, it was nepotism. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
But... Oh, my God. No, it wasn't. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
Sorry. It's not you. I just... | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
-I'm exhausted. I got, like, zero sleep last night. -So... | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:11:17 | 0:11:18 | |
Oh. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
-Hey, Leslie. Hey! -You're home. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
Yeah, I'm home. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:30 | |
I was doing an interview at the pit, and it was going really well. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
In fact, it was going perfect. But I decided to leave in the middle of it | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
cos I figured I nailed it so why push it, right? | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
-Yeah. -Can I come in? -Sure, yeah. -Great. -Come on in. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
So how'd it go? She didn't ask about Andy being drunk, did she? | 0:11:44 | 0:11:48 | |
Oh. No. No, just your kind of standard questions. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
There was one annoying thing. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
She and Mark had sex with each other. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
You're kidding. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
I wish I was, but I'm not. They did it. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
Shauna Malwae-Tweep and Mark Brendanawicz | 0:11:59 | 0:12:03 | |
had sex with each other last night. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
-Who had sex? -That guy Mark and the reporter. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
Called it. I called that. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
-You remember that? -Yeah. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:11 | |
He did, actually. He totally called that. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
Why do men have to behave like this? | 0:12:14 | 0:12:15 | |
Why can't they be professionals? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
-Men are dogs. -You know, maybe they really like each other. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
He doesn't like her. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:22 | |
He was probably thinking with the head of his wiener | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
instead of the head of his brain. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:27 | |
-Oh, God. Andy, come on. -Men do that. It's disgusting. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
Well, I should go talk to him. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
Make sure that he didn't say anything to hurt the project. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:36 | |
Yeah. Definitely, you should talk to him. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
Yeah. Good idea, Ann. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
-I bet he didn't use a condom. -Andy, God! | 0:12:40 | 0:12:43 | |
Hello, Mark. May I come into your office? | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
I need to speak with you about something very sensitive. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
Something's come to my attention that requires your attention. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
It has come to my attention that you had sex with Ms Malwae-Tweep. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:54 | |
That's personal. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
It's unethical and it's irresponsible for a public servant to have sex | 0:12:56 | 0:13:00 | |
with a member of the press corps. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
Especially when you have sex with someone who is so skanky. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
I mean, have sex with her and... | 0:13:05 | 0:13:06 | |
I'm going to say something. I don't want you to take it the wrong way. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:10 | |
But you're being a huge dork. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
Well, I can't allow that kind of behaviour from someone serving on my sub-committee. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:22 | |
Well, then I resign from your sub-committee. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
'Shauna Malwae-Tweep.' | 0:13:31 | 0:13:32 | |
Hi, this is deputy director of Parks and Recreation... | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
-'Leslie?' Hi. -Yes, hi. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
I accidentally ate an old burrito. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
'What?' | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
I was acting strange at the pit | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
and the reason is because I had food-poisoning | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
from an old burrito. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
So, I was hoping we could have a do-over interview. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:55 | |
Maybe over lunch. I'm buying. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
'Yeah, I guess I'm free. I'm assuming not Mexican.' | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
Why? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
'Because of the burrito.' | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
-SHE LAUGHS: -Oh! | 0:14:05 | 0:14:06 | |
Yeah, well, it wasn't a Mexican burrito. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
Are you sure that's the best thing for you right now? | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
Oh, it's the best thing on the menu. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
So, look, I feel like I may have | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
gone a little off message at the pit. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
-Yeah, you seemed a little weird. -Well, I wouldn't say weird. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:24 | |
It's just, we're trying to turn a dangerous eyesore | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
into a beautiful community park | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
and a positive article could go a long way towards making that happen. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
Great. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:33 | |
So what do you think the odds are that this park will actually get made? | 0:14:33 | 0:14:37 | |
Can I say over 100%? | 0:14:37 | 0:14:40 | |
Because I would be lying if I said less. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
Wow. You seem a lot more confident than some of the other people I've spoken to. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
Can I read you some of these quotes? | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
Be my guest. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
"The Sullivan Street pit is always going to be a pit." | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
Well, until it turns into a park. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
Yes, I agree. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:57 | |
"Hey, you should write an article on unicorns, | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
"because they're more likely to exist than this park." | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
Oh, really? Tell that to a 14-year-old girl. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
"You should write an article on the Pope getting married, | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
"because that's more likely to happen than this park." | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
There are some countries where the Pope can be married. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
"You should write an article on talking monkeys." | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
Really? Have you seen The Wizard of Oz? | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
-"..an article about leprechauns." -Leprechauns exist. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
"You should write an article about the sun falling out of the sky." | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
Why would you write an article about that? That's... | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
This one is just "No." | 0:15:26 | 0:15:27 | |
"This park is never, ever, ever, ever going to happen." | 0:15:27 | 0:15:32 | |
Might I ask who said that? | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Mark Brendanawicz. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
-Yeah. -Hey. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
-Hi. -Can I talk to you for a second? | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Yeah, what's up? | 0:15:49 | 0:15:50 | |
You and I need to find a way to fix this reporter thing. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
Why is this a big deal to anybody? | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
Well, apparently, the reporter is going to print everything you said to her. | 0:15:56 | 0:16:01 | |
But I didn't say anything to her. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
"The park is never, ever, ever, ever getting built?" | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
But that stuff was off the record. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
Did you say it was off the record? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
-Do you have to say it's off the record? -Oh, God. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
Hey. Thank you so much for meeting us. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
Sure. Hey, Mark. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
Hey. Uh... I heard that you were going to print some of that stuff | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
that I said in private about the park. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
Oh, yeah. My editor loves it. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
We'd appreciate it if you didn't print that stuff cos we're trying to build this park... | 0:16:33 | 0:16:37 | |
I don't understand. You did say it, right? | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
-Technically. -Technically? | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
Well, you know, | 0:16:43 | 0:16:45 | |
you got up because you had to write the article and I said, | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
"Come on, stay in bed. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:49 | |
"That park is never, ever, ever going to get made." | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
Right. And then I came back to bed. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
Yeah, but the important part was, "Stay in bed." | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
You know, I would've said anything at that point | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
if I thought it would have made you stay in bed. | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
OK, well, since we're, you know, romantically involved, | 0:17:03 | 0:17:07 | |
I won't print any of it. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
-That's great. Thank you so much. -You're welcome. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
You know, I wouldn't say romantically involved. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
You know, going forward. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
-Oh, my God. -What? | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
Ron Swanson. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
Tom. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
Ron, I don't know what to tell you, man. April got on my computer. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:35 | |
Password was saved. She played a couple of Scrabble words. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
It wasn't me. I don't even know what lexicons are. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
I thought that was a luxury automobile. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:42 | |
You're the word king. She was probably cheating. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
I knew that couldn't have been you. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
You don't have the vocabulary. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:49 | |
I know. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:50 | |
You can't even spell vocabulary. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
Yeah. V-O-G-X... | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
Was that right? No. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
We're cool. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
I'm not an idiot. I know Tom has been losing to me on purpose. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:08 | |
But I like Tom. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:09 | |
He doesn't do a lot of work around here. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
He shows zero initiative. He's not a team player. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
He's never one to go that extra mile. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
Tom is exactly what I'm looking for in a government employee. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
Hey, you busy? | 0:18:25 | 0:18:26 | |
Well, I'm writing an op-ed piece | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
about media ethics for the Pawnee Journal, so, yeah, I'm a little busy. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
I wanted to apologize to you. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
-Really? -Yeah. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
I never should've done anything with that reporter. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
Whoa! You nailed Malwae-Tweep? Nice. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:50 | |
Yes, but I'm not going to do it again. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
-It's over. -So she's available. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:55 | |
I really did think that that stuff that I said was off the record. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
But you were right, and I should've listened to you. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
I tried to get her to pull some of those quotes and things got a little dicey. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:05 | |
Well, I appreciate you trying. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:08 | |
Would you like to be reinstated onto our subcommittee? | 0:19:08 | 0:19:14 | |
-Absolutely. -You'll have my answer within the month. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
Mark, can I ask you a question? | 0:19:17 | 0:19:18 | |
You didn't really believe it when you said that the park would never get made, right? | 0:19:18 | 0:19:23 | |
Park's going to get done. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:24 | |
Welcome back, subcommittee member Mark Brendanawicz. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:30 | |
-Thanks. -Thank you. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
-Thank you. -Thank you. -Thanks, a lot. -Thank you a lot. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
Man, that dude has stuck it in some crazy chicks. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:43 | |
Well, the article came out, and it was a mixed bag. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
"An abandoned lot on Sullivan Street | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
"has been proposed as the site of a new park." That part's good. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
I think we stayed on message for that part. And then it gets a little unpleasant. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
"Pretty drunk, Ann's on the pill." | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
I didn't "throw up," I spit up. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
JJ's Diner gets a nice mention. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Oh, and right here. At the end. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
She writes, and I quote, "We'll see." | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
Ends on a hopeful note. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 |