Episode 5 Revolting


Episode 5

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This programme contains very strong language and adult humour

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-Hello, hello, hello, hello.

-BBC OMG!

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CHEERING

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Sell these things, sell.

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Did you really just say that?

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Welcome to Inside The Story!

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I'm Dale Maily,

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fearless hetero journalist who's not afraid to be unafraid.

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I deliver fair, impartial news as it happens,

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wherever it happens,

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telling you the right way to think.

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YouTube used to be a place where you could go and watch cats doing the

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funniest things and people falling over,

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but now a bunch of acne-ridden losers are filming themselves

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talking about their feelings.

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This emotional porn is a stain on the sheets of our nation.

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So, I've come down to a YouTube convention

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where camera phone perverts come and pat themselves on the back

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for pretending to be on TV.

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It beggars belief.

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Can I just ask you, what exactly is this event today about?

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Kids in their bedrooms who have more money than sense.

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Isn't this dangerous, quite dangerous for everyone just

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to be out there sort of discussing how they feel?

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What their feelings are? It's not very English, is it?

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It's not very English, no.

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It is a danger, but, thankfully, they're all doing it within a

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confined space, not in the wider world.

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-YouTube is becoming a very popular...

-Is it? With who?

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-There's...

-With nerds, with nerds and geeks.

-No, not particularly.

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Just bi-curious losers, is that what you're saying?

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-Millennials, is that it?

-No.

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'Well, I arranged to meet one of these millennials called

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'Hannah Witton, a so-called Internet vlogger.

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'Whatever that means.'

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So, what exactly do you talk about in your vlogs?

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I do a lot of stuff about sex education.

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I talk about sex and relationships.

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-You get paid to do that?

-Sometimes.

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-So, you are like an online prostitute?

-No.

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Well, what's wrong with just kind of getting a copy of the Telegraph

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and sitting down and having a cup of tea?

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I don't think any of us really know.

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I did see one of your videos and in that video, you said there's

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-no such thing as a slut.

-Exactly!

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Well, I'm here to tell you there definitely is.

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-Some people buy Lamborghinis, houses...

-What?!

-Yeah.

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Retiring at the age of 20.

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Some people on YouTube get more views than TV shows.

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HE SCOFFS

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How do you become successful?

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Um, just like... It's a lot of hard work and some good luck and...

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Do you want to learn how to be a vlogger?

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Yes.

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Are these all lesbian books?

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We want the persecution in China to stop,

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human rights to start being respected,

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just like anywhere else in the world.

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There's millions...being killed,

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arrest, and they are put in the death camps.

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And they've been stealing their organs to sell.

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Lona, now living in England,

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is a member of the Falun Gong religious movement.

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Both of them in London to release evidence that imprisoned

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members of the sect are being killed,

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so their organs can be harvested for transplant patients.

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It is important that you understand that the global community is

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appalled by the practices which the Chinese have adhered to in the past.

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From Liveroo.

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Got some livers and other organs harvested from the local prison,

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which I need to deliver to the Chinese Embassy and they like

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'em fresh, so I'd better crack on.

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-Hi.

-Hiya.

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How's it going? Thank you.

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Thanks. Hi.

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How's it going? From Liveroo. We've got the delivery.

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Hi, we are from Liveroo, we've got the organs and stuff

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from Wandsworth Prison that we need to deliver.

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-Diplomatic bag?

-It's a diplomatic bag, it's a medical bag.

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Yeah. I've got the heart of a fraudster.

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You could say it's quite heartless, but he literally is.

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-See him?

-What is this?

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These are all livers from the environmental activists that

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we've harvested, which, obviously, are in quite good nick.

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-I mean, they're no...

-For the ambassador?

-They're no British

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monks, but you're running out of them anyway, aren't you?

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I mean, you can get the scalpel, open him up,

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whip out the liver and the liver is Falun Gong, yeah?

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-I think you'd better go.

-OK, thanks a lot. OK, thanks.

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The Labour Party is in the midst of a civil war.

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With Jeremy Corbyn having won his second leadership election by

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a landslide, many believe that Labour is too left-wing to be

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elected into government.

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In this series, we follow two Labour Party members

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on opposing sides of the argument.

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Robin, a dyed-in-the-wool socialist and canvasser,

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and Penny, a Labour Party advisor and self-confessed Blairite.

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Both are convinced that their version of Labour is the future.

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In the last general election, Labour suffered one of its worst

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results in recent memory, losing 48 MPs.

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The Conservative Party candidate - 18,776.

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Many of these were lost

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in traditional Labour Party voting constituencies.

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Today, Robin and Penny have come to Harrow East, in northwest London,

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a working-class area, the like of which the party need

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to win over up and down the country.

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I think Corbyn's about... He's like a 1960s hippie.

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He's a good man. He's trying to be there for you.

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Is that going to run a country?

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Hello there. My name is Penny, I'm from the Labour Party.

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I was just wondering if I'd be counting on your vote

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in the next election.

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Deprived areas like this one,

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deprived people like you should normally vote Labour.

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Yes, absolutely. It's the workers' party.

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-Sympathizer.

-What? Jeremy?

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He's trying to work for people like you and people like me.

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The only people who vote Labour are foreigners

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-and people who are unemployed.

-Come on, mate.

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-That's the only people.

-Not all. That's not true.

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Local football team Wealdstone FC are playing down the road.

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Don't do any handballs!

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Hey, come on, mate! That was on the edge of the box, son.

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Both Robin and Penny have been dispatched to seize the opportunity

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to try and reach out to potential Labour voters.

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-WILD CHEERING

-Yes!

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It's not going to get violent or anything later, is it?

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-I wouldn't have thought.

-Good, of course not. Of course, why...

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-why would it?

-What's that?

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-I'm from the Labour Party, you see.

-Oh, OK.

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You might be in trouble, but.

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-Yeah, he might be.

-LAUGHTER

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-I'm just a working man like the rest of you.

-I know.

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You know, down here to enjoy a nice game of soccer. Yeah.

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-Football.

-Football.

-Football.

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-Soccer's American.

-Exactly. Yeah.

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Look, I mean, what a revolutionary act would be, would be,

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you know, the 11 men on that side and the 11 men on that side putting

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their balls down and playing as one team, wouldn't it?

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I mean, it's like that, mate.

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Would he propose to get us to take this...

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-HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

-I can't really understand a word...

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It very difficult for me to understand.

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Sorry, I'm from Islington, you see?

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-Are you serious?

-Most Labour people are.

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Did you really just say that?

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Well, no, I am from Islington North.

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-Yeah, but most Labour people are.

-Yes.

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No, I never vote.

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Mate, I never voted at all till I voted for Jeremy Corbyn.

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That's the first vote I ever bloody did.

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Apart from him, they're all absolute slugs, aren't they?

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-They are all lying scumbags.

-All of them?

-Yup.

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And then what happens now? People sort of have a few beers

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and eat some chips and...?

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Bugger off. Cheers.

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Everyone's slightly angry now. What's going on?

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You nearly got voted in. That's what happened.

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Right, I'm going to get a pie. Do you think they have any gluten-free ones?

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-Yeah, they'll have some.

-OK. Thank you very much.

-It's just down there.

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Oh, lovely. Thank you.

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Hey, I'm Duckface and I'm an Insta celebrity and I'm all about

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raising awareness about totes important issues using social media.

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Let's change the planet one hash tag at a time, babes.

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Love you.

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Hey, guys. It's your wonderful Duckface here again.

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I've been hearing about this terrible thing called, like,

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mass shootings in America. And not good shootings like, hey.

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Bad shootings, like pow-pow, bang-bang.

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Then I thought I can end the violence with a cool social

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action, so I'm launching Guns Against Guns.

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Let's go meet some cute guys, babes.

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Shut up!

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-Have you heard about Guns Against Guns?

-Of course I have.

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-You know about all, like, the gun violence that's been happening in America?

-Yeah.

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Just take it off. HE GRUNTS

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Oh, my God. What we're going to do, babes, is start a hash tag, babes.

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Banning guns, it's probably a good start, isn't it?

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Less access to guns, you know. Let's...

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Stop using guns.

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-Do it again, just a bit sexier.

-Ban guns, much sexier.

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Guns Against Guns.

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-BOTH:

-Guns Against Guns.

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-Oh, my God. BOTH:

-Guns Against Guns.

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-I'm going to say no, but lovely to meet you.

-Why, no?

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-Cos I've got to go. I said I had two minutes.

-Guns Against Guns.

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How's it going to end?

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I know how it's going to end, probably really violently.

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So, I'm pretty sure that's, like, gun crime totally dealt with, babes.

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So no-one has to be like...wah!

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When they can be like this...

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Tweet me.

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-CHANTING:

-George, George.

-Looks, it's George.

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Oh, come on, George, my son. Tell it like it is.

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It's good to be in front of some proper English men for a change.

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-Yes!

-Yes!

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Who can forget June 23rd 2016?

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-Independence Day.

-Get in!

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The day we got out our NHS back from all them Albanians,

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immigrant bastards coming here to scrounge.

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Two world wars, one World Cup and one referendum!

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Yes, George.

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My nan had to wait nine months for her hip replacement

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and it don't take a genius to figure out who's the cunt.

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Clue, not my nan.

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Having said that...

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ain't the young Europeans going to the doctor all the time.

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The problem is our ageing population.

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What about all them international benefits scroungers

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the Daily Mail goes on about?

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Well, the fact of the matter is,

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they don't really exist.

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I mean, not if you look at it.

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If the only place you get all your news from is the Mail and the Sun

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and Facebook, well, the whole world is going to be a scary place.

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I think it was Thomas Jefferson who once said,

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if you can only afford one newspaper,

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buy the one you disagree with.

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I saw a documentary last week about some fucking Albanian immigrants,

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-all nine of them, living in a bedsit in Leyton.

-Scroungers!

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Doing three jobs each to send a few quid a week back to Albania.

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Fucking Africa!

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If you think about it, they're just struggling dads, like you and

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me, doing whatever they have to to put some food in their kids' mouths.

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-It broke my heart.

-Hm.

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And look at the people who did my nan's surgery.

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I mean, two nurses - one Dutch, one Spanish.

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Surgeon - Greek.

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Surgical assistant - Polish, anaesthetist - Pakistani British.

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So, a big thank you to all the people down at Sevenoaks Hospital.

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You multinational bunch of angels.

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Anyway, time for a break.

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Help yourself to falafel down the back,

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courtesy of Barry's wife Anzef.

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We haven't built enough houses, we haven't fixed the rental

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market for so long and that means that

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so many more people are being drawn into not being able to afford it.

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The government says that, unlike Labour,

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it is building new affordable homes to replace high-value council

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houses it wants to bestow.

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Critics say they'll be beyond the reach of those

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who already live here.

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They called for more affordable and council properties, warning

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that the cost of finding a home could soon force the poorest out.

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This week on The Entrepreneur,

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hoping to become Lord Canderel's intern,

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ambitious businessmen Ben and George have been sent to

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the Landlord & Letting Show in Leeds.

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They have been tasked with selling luxury flats that also meet

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social housing quotas.

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What we're trying to do is create an amazing development

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that has social housing and makes a huge amount of profit.

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Well, mainly makes profit.

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Their idea is to include social housing pods in the basement

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of the luxury apartments and have spent all morning making

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a model of what they'd look like.

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You've got enough space. You've got power points on the side,

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got a nice little shower here.

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What we would be doing is hopefully packing about ten of these in.

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Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

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-And that actually leads to huge profitability.

-Yeah.

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People say there's not enough room in there to swing a cat,

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but, you know, pets aren't allowed on the insurance anyway, so.

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Ben and George meet a legal advisor to discuss their project.

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I can think of a few planning applications you will probably be breaking straightaway.

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-Oh, really?

-What sort of thing?

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Well, there's certain amounts of people you can have living

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-in such a small space.

-Right. How small can we go, do you think?

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You've got to have a certain amount of living space per person,

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-a number of bedrooms to bathroom ratio.

-Right, right.

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Well, every apartment would have a bath, it wouldn't have a toilet,

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but who doesn't piss in the bath, eh, you know?

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-We're sort of doubling up.

-Yeah.

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What our metrics are predicting, as well, is if we create all this

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social housing right next to the luxury flats, the sheer proximity

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will mean that at least 20% of people will actually bring

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themselves out of poverty by becoming cleaners,

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actually, for the rich people in the building, which is great.

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-That's social mobility.

-That's social mobility in the building, really.

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We're meeting our social housing obligations,

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so we can get on with the important stuff, like making a profit.

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You know, sometimes, you've got to look at, you know, all of the,

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you know, different aspects to a development and, obviously,

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social housing quotas are there for a reason.

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I mean, it's sort of a bit of a moral, outdated reason

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that has nothing to do with the bottom line.

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Sometimes you have to put people before profit.

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-HE SNIGGERS

-OK.

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-Are you serious?

-Yes, I'm afraid so.

-Right.

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Hello, hello, hello, hello.

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BBC OMG...

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-WTF.

-I don't know what that means.

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OMG. I am Zam Zmith and welcome

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to the BBC BFG OMG WTF.

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I am dying. Tell me about this outfit.

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Oh, thank you.

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-It's Dior.

-Bigotti.

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It's about a 25-year-old Prada.

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Tell me about how incredible it was working on set

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with Steven Spielberg.

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Absolutely incredible.

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But seriously, the Calais Jungle.

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Seriously the what?

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What's the deal with white privilege?

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That's a great question. Um...

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How should we solve the refugee crisis?

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600 homes along the banks of the York river Foss were flooded.

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Despite the fact that floodgates and pumps had protected them

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from higher river levels in 2000 and kept waters back in 2007,

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this year, it failed them.

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In 2014, when there was flooding on the Thames, I think part of

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it was in David Cameron's constituency.

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He came out and said, "Money is no object."

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Well, if it's good enough for his neck of the woods,

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it's good enough for Yorkshire.

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The Ark programme is a large flotation device on which we

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will be able to house a certain number of York residents to

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keep them above the water during the next floods.

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Excuse me, do you live locally?

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And were you affected by the floods at all?

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-Do own a house just there.

-Interesting. So you're aware of the

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-floods that have been taking place.

-Yes.

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The Army knocked on the door at one o'clock in the morning to say

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please move everything upstairs.

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We're just seeing if you would like to apply for the Ark scheme.

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Have you heard of the Ark scheme at all?

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What is...exactly is this Ark, then?

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Well, it's a sort of large flotation device and, you know, people will

0:15:260:15:29

get on board if they're eligible for the programme.

0:15:290:15:33

Yeah, you see, I think if it was coming, I would stay with my family.

0:15:330:15:35

Right, OK, well, potentially, they might be eligible as well.

0:15:350:15:39

-Did you vote Conservative in the last election?

-I did, actually.

0:15:390:15:42

Oh, excellent. That's brilliant.

0:15:420:15:44

If you voted Labour, you wouldn't actually be eligible for the programme.

0:15:440:15:47

SHE GIGGLES But, it's a good thing you voted Tory. Very good.

0:15:470:15:50

-Are you a competent swimmer?

-Yes.

0:15:500:15:51

Right, OK. Well, maybe you don't need... Perhaps, I can sign

0:15:510:15:54

you up for the Snorkel & Goggle programme instead. It's a lot cheaper.

0:15:540:15:56

Do you know who I'd give these to? It's the list of the names of people

0:16:080:16:11

that applied to be on the Ark programme up in Yorkshire

0:16:110:16:14

for when the floods come back.

0:16:140:16:16

Cos, obviously, no-one has invested in the flood defences,

0:16:160:16:18

so these people all want to be on board.

0:16:180:16:20

-I don't really know what it is. I work in the industry.

-Well, right.

0:16:200:16:23

When the floods come back in York, cos no-one's invested

0:16:230:16:26

in the flood defences, there's going to be a huge boat

0:16:260:16:28

that is going to be built and certain people have applied to be

0:16:280:16:30

on it, mostly Conservative voters. And I've just taken all the names.

0:16:300:16:33

These are the applicants to be on the Ark. So, the strategy now,

0:16:330:16:36

the thinking is we build a huge vessel

0:16:360:16:38

and we put two of every profession on

0:16:380:16:40

and we sort of float it down the river once the floods come back.

0:16:400:16:43

-Yeah.

-OK.

0:16:450:16:46

I mean, it worked once, didn't it? THEY CHUCKLE

0:16:460:16:49

-WILD CHEERING

-Go on, George!

0:16:580:17:02

The boy!

0:17:020:17:03

Thank you. It's good to see so many British faces here today.

0:17:030:17:07

Now, you know what I'm sick of?

0:17:070:17:08

That political fucking correctness.

0:17:080:17:11

Makes my fucking brain bleed. APPLAUSE

0:17:110:17:13

It's thought control, plain and simple.

0:17:130:17:17

Whatever happened to sticks and stones may break my bones,

0:17:170:17:20

but words will never hurt me?

0:17:200:17:22

-Even kids know that.

-It's just words!

0:17:220:17:24

Chairperson this, learning difficulties that.

0:17:240:17:27

He's a man, she's a spastic. End of.

0:17:270:17:29

Spot on.

0:17:290:17:31

Having said that...

0:17:320:17:34

I mean, words can pigeonhole people

0:17:340:17:37

and then stigmas are created that oppress the weak.

0:17:370:17:40

I mean, the term spastic is a medical word to talk about

0:17:400:17:45

someone with cerebral palsy.

0:17:450:17:46

I mean, why use it to describe someone on the autistic spectrum,

0:17:460:17:49

possibly Asperger's.

0:17:490:17:50

It's dehumanizing.

0:17:500:17:51

It's easy to lash out, but it's usually

0:17:530:17:57

a manifestation of something about ourselves that we're unhappy with.

0:17:570:18:01

The answer, people, is compassion.

0:18:010:18:04

Compassion. Say it loud and say it proud.

0:18:070:18:10

Compassion.

0:18:100:18:12

That's it.

0:18:120:18:13

Say it louder. Compassion!

0:18:130:18:15

Compassion!

0:18:150:18:16

Come on, let it out. The hate in you is making you sick.

0:18:160:18:19

-EMOTIONALLY:

-Compassion.

0:18:190:18:20

I know we're all a bit wound up,

0:18:200:18:22

so let's take a break and then Paul is going to talk to us about

0:18:220:18:26

the power of vulnerability and the secret to the female orgasm.

0:18:260:18:28

The Conservative party has begun a new era

0:18:310:18:34

and the Prime Minister, Theresa May, has created

0:18:340:18:36

a new cabinet, bringing lesser-known faces to the fore.

0:18:360:18:40

In this film, we follow James Twottington-Burbage,

0:18:400:18:43

Conservative MP, who after falling out of favour

0:18:430:18:46

with the former Prime Minister...

0:18:460:18:47

Just wanted to give you this Bullingdon album.

0:18:470:18:49

-Oh, thank you very much.

-Would you give me a sign of it?

0:18:490:18:51

..now finds himself one of the key players in shaping

0:18:510:18:54

Theresa May's Britain.

0:18:540:18:55

After the vote to leave the EU, Theresa May and her government

0:19:000:19:04

began making plans for Brexit.

0:19:040:19:06

Brexit means Brexit and we are going to make a success of it.

0:19:060:19:11

With pressure growing to find out what Brexit will actually mean

0:19:110:19:14

for the country, James has been sent to Strasbourg to see how MPs

0:19:140:19:18

there see Britain's future.

0:19:180:19:21

'So I've come down to Strasbourg, Boris and Nigel have gone,'

0:19:210:19:24

but it's all right because I'm a very, very good negotiator.

0:19:240:19:28

How do you feel about Brexit? Are you OK with it?

0:19:280:19:31

Are we going to be OK?

0:19:310:19:33

No. No...

0:19:330:19:35

-We're not?

-No.

0:19:350:19:36

Paul, bloody great to see you, mate.

0:19:380:19:40

Going somewhat behind the Prime Minister's back,

0:19:400:19:43

James has met with UKIP leader Paul Nuttall.

0:19:430:19:45

Bloody well done for getting us out, you know what I mean?

0:19:450:19:48

It's taken a bloody long time.

0:19:480:19:49

17 million people cannot be wrong, can they?

0:19:490:19:52

-I agree.

-So, what's going on in there?

0:19:520:19:53

Well, a number of presidents in the European Parliament -

0:19:530:19:56

-see, the European Parliament has lots of presidents...

-They're not happy, are they?

0:19:560:20:00

-Everyone's a president.

-Aren't they just?

-No, they are not happy at all.

0:20:000:20:03

But equally, at the same time, there's a number of British MEPs

0:20:030:20:06

-who don't seem to want to accept the result.

-Unbelievable!

0:20:060:20:09

I'm afraid it's simply inevitable that there will very bad

0:20:090:20:12

surprises during the negotiations.

0:20:120:20:14

My opinion is the best solution is to give more power to

0:20:140:20:19

future King William.

0:20:190:20:21

-You want to give King William power?

-Yes.

0:20:210:20:24

The initial reaction was, "Oh, they should not be here at all

0:20:240:20:26

-"for the rest of the term."

-Who said that?

0:20:260:20:28

-People would say that, you know?

-Jesus.

0:20:280:20:31

What are they saying when they are angry?

0:20:310:20:33

Right, you know, "You Brits have decided what you're going to do.

0:20:330:20:35

"Right, we're going to do what we want to do now and it may not

0:20:350:20:38

-"be in the interest of Britain."

-Jesus Christ!

0:20:380:20:40

-What do they want to do?

-I don't...

0:20:400:20:41

Well, we'd better find out.

0:20:410:20:43

The soft drone of bees amongst the flowers is a familiar summer

0:20:460:20:49

sound of the British countryside,

0:20:490:20:52

but a sound heard much less frequently.

0:20:520:20:55

Our study shows that 62 species of wild bees have declined on

0:20:550:20:59

average over the decade during which these pesticides have been applied.

0:20:590:21:05

Scientists are becoming worried about our ever-decreasing bee

0:21:050:21:08

populations and the possible side effects

0:21:080:21:11

it is having on our plant life.

0:21:110:21:12

But here in Longstanton, a government minister

0:21:120:21:16

has come up with a cunning way of helping to save the

0:21:160:21:18

environment and get people back into work.

0:21:180:21:21

So, I was at this dinner party and I heard this story about how

0:21:240:21:26

heavy usage of dangerous pesticides

0:21:260:21:29

were killing the humble bumblebee, so I felt compelled to get involved.

0:21:290:21:34

Ban the pesticides.

0:21:340:21:36

No, of course not. I'm not going to ban the pesticides.

0:21:360:21:38

I'm just going to utilize the unemployed as bees.

0:21:380:21:41

Oh.

0:21:410:21:43

And so Bee Useful was born,

0:21:430:21:45

the world's first employment training scheme

0:21:450:21:47

in which the unemployed are taught how to pollinate flowers.

0:21:470:21:51

I caught up with a worker bee called Chrissie, who's been

0:21:530:21:56

doing this for two months.

0:21:560:21:57

Yeah, I mean, I graduated a few years ago,

0:21:570:21:59

but haven't been able to get a job since then, so.

0:21:590:22:03

I mean, at least it's...at least it's outside.

0:22:030:22:06

Oh, picnic.

0:22:060:22:08

We followed the newly employed swarm on one of their rounds.

0:22:110:22:16

-Do you know about the Bee programme?

-No.

0:22:160:22:19

We're just putting the unemployed back to work.

0:22:190:22:21

Did see you've got some geraniums

0:22:210:22:23

that might need pollinating over there.

0:22:230:22:25

Yeah? Go on, now.

0:22:250:22:27

Did you get the daisies?

0:22:280:22:30

Did you get the daisies? OK.

0:22:300:22:33

This is a council programme... Just cos obviously the decline of the bees, there's no bees left.

0:22:330:22:37

So, we are just pollinating wild flowers.

0:22:370:22:38

-Are you actually looking for a job?

-I am.

-Cool.

0:22:380:22:41

So, we're just putting people to work, doing something...

0:22:410:22:43

Yeah, it's about pollination.

0:22:450:22:47

It's like flower sex, basically.

0:22:470:22:49

They are pollinating the flowers.

0:22:490:22:52

-Because there's no bees left?

-Essentially, yeah, yeah.

0:22:520:22:55

It's just a summer job for people that have been unemployed for more than three months.

0:22:550:22:58

-You're kidding me.

-No, no. This is...

-For fuck's sake!

0:22:580:23:01

-Well, there's no...fucking bees left, are there? So.

-I know.

0:23:010:23:05

So, the next time you're on an afternoon stroll through

0:23:060:23:08

a beautiful meadow and you happen

0:23:080:23:10

to bump into one of these marvellous little creatures,

0:23:100:23:12

remember to thank the humble and recently employed bee.

0:23:120:23:16

Thank you.

0:23:160:23:18

This is Melanie, she needs to talk to her husband,

0:23:210:23:25

but he can't take the call.

0:23:250:23:26

Relax, let Amazon contact him for you.

0:23:280:23:32

In an exciting new feature of technological wizardry,

0:23:330:23:36

the boffins at Amazon will have Melanie's bespoke message

0:23:360:23:40

delivered to Stephen in a way he can't ignore.

0:23:400:23:44

By drone.

0:23:440:23:45

At Amazon, we'll deliver absolutely anything.

0:23:460:23:50

And now we're delivering bad news...

0:23:500:23:53

..for when saying something face-to-face is just too awkward.

0:23:560:24:00

This future delivery system is designed to safely get your bad news

0:24:030:24:07

message delivered in under 30 minutes.

0:24:070:24:10

HE SCREAMS

0:24:100:24:11

And now with Amazon Bad News Prime,

0:24:110:24:14

you can send unlimited bad news for just £7 a month.

0:24:140:24:18

So try Amazon's Bad News drone,

0:24:180:24:21

where the truth hurts them,

0:24:210:24:23

-not you.

-HE SCREAMS

0:24:230:24:25

This week on Gastro Kitchen,

0:24:280:24:30

we meet French chef Gaston who has teamed up with John West, Britain's

0:24:300:24:34

biggest supplier of tuna, to make their products even more delicious.

0:24:340:24:38

Companies like John West are using mass-fishing techniques to

0:24:380:24:41

satisfy our desire for a cheap tuna sarnie.

0:24:410:24:44

But dolphins, sharks and even turtles are getting caught up

0:24:440:24:47

in the nets and getting injured or even killed in the process.

0:24:470:24:50

Mm! This by-catch is simply thrown back into the sea, but why do that?

0:24:500:24:55

Gaston has used his culinary expertise

0:24:550:24:58

to develop an exclusive range of tuna

0:24:580:25:00

infused with dolphin, shark and turtle. Yum-my!

0:25:000:25:04

Let's take it on a taste test.

0:25:040:25:06

We're just offering out some of our brand-new infused tuna.

0:25:060:25:09

We've got Turtle Terminator. We've got Shark Slayer.

0:25:090:25:12

So, this is for the more discerning, less compassionate consumer.

0:25:120:25:16

-That's made with dolphins?

-Mm, yes, and turtle too.

0:25:160:25:19

It's our by-catch. You see, when we catch our tuna,

0:25:190:25:21

all of this lovely meat was just going to waste

0:25:210:25:24

but we thought, "Not at John West."

0:25:240:25:26

So what we are trying to do is make sure that all the dolphins,

0:25:260:25:29

all the turtles and all the sharks that we catch get thrown

0:25:290:25:32

straight in the tin.

0:25:320:25:33

-Dolphin?

-Yes.

-Would you like to taste some?

0:25:350:25:38

So, this is basically our tuna with dolphin infused in it.

0:25:380:25:42

Are you getting...? What are you getting from it?

0:25:420:25:44

Can you taste a little hint of turtle shell in there?

0:25:440:25:47

-Yes.

-They are very good. Perhaps a little bit of dolphin as well.

0:25:470:25:52

I've never tasted dolphin, but I've tasted turtle, so I know how it is.

0:25:530:25:58

Oh, you know how it tastes. They're very good, very good.

0:25:580:26:00

-It's slightly different.

-Hm.

0:26:000:26:02

A lot of people say, "Oh, why are you using turtle?"

0:26:020:26:04

-It's quite creamy.

-It is quite creamy.

0:26:040:26:06

-No, little bit more creamier.

-Exactly.

-Hm!

-That's it.

0:26:060:26:09

We take the shell of the turtles and we grind it up and we put it in

0:26:090:26:13

the tin, it creates a creaminess that you can taste right now.

0:26:130:26:17

-Turtle as well?

-Yes, turtle.

0:26:170:26:19

I don't know, I'm not sure I would buy it because of the dolphin thing.

0:26:210:26:24

Why? Why do you love dolphins so much?

0:26:240:26:26

-They're just mammals, aren't they?

-I don't know.

0:26:260:26:29

When you taste this,

0:26:290:26:30

tell me if you can taste the disappearance of the species.

0:26:300:26:33

-You like?

-I love tuna.

-Ah. Do you like dolphins too?

0:26:330:26:36

-Dolphin what?

-Dolphin.

0:26:370:26:38

In here there's dolphin?

0:26:380:26:40

-Yes.

-But don't kill dolphins.

0:26:400:26:42

-Why?

-Why?

-Because...

0:26:420:26:46

it's sad.

0:26:460:26:47

And then we leave this here. Oop!

0:26:470:26:49

Voila!

0:26:490:26:50

Au revoir, monsieur. Merci.

0:26:520:26:54

The playground might look rural, but this primary couldn't be more

0:26:560:27:00

urban, right down to the curse of industry pollution.

0:27:000:27:04

The trees, shrubs, bushes and hedges are a deliberate attempt to

0:27:040:27:07

cut nitrogen dioxide emissions from nearby Euston Road.

0:27:070:27:11

It is a fact that last year almost 10,000 Londoners died because

0:27:110:27:14

of our poor air.

0:27:140:27:15

It is a fact that children in parts of London have lungs

0:27:150:27:19

that are underdeveloped.

0:27:190:27:20

Hoping that he can cash in on London being one of the most

0:27:210:27:24

polluted cities in Europe, where nearly 90 schools are exposed

0:27:240:27:28

to dangerous air pollution,

0:27:280:27:29

George has hit the street to try and sell his latest product.

0:27:290:27:33

It's definitely a good investment.

0:27:330:27:35

GEORGE: 'So it turns out London is the most polluted city

0:27:360:27:38

'in Western Europe. I'm not sitting around on my arse.

0:27:380:27:41

'I spotted a business opportunity in that.'

0:27:410:27:42

Gas masks for kids.

0:27:420:27:44

They are going to sell like hot cakes when they go back to school.

0:27:440:27:48

They are really scary.

0:27:480:27:49

Well, they do come in pink as well.

0:27:490:27:51

My mum said she used to get given gas masks during the war but never

0:27:510:27:53

wore it cos she didn't like the smell of it.

0:27:530:27:55

Back then, it was the Germans gassing us, now we're just gassing

0:27:550:27:58

ourselves with our diesel engines.

0:27:580:27:59

Well, I don't want to emotionally blackmail you, but parents

0:27:590:28:02

that don't buy these for their kids are just incredibly bad parents.

0:28:020:28:05

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

0:28:050:28:06

Do not call somebody a bad parent.

0:28:060:28:07

So, I've done myself out of a deal now?

0:28:070:28:09

I think you should turn around and walk away, mate, cos you're rude.

0:28:090:28:12

They're a little bit gruesome, though, aren't they?

0:28:120:28:14

Well, if your kid is particularly ugly, it's probably for the best.

0:28:140:28:17

They'll get bullied less. Trying to make a quick buck, you know?

0:28:170:28:20

We need to sell these things. Sell. Can you not help me out?

0:28:230:28:26

I mean, it kind of messes things up in the school photo

0:28:260:28:28

a little bit, but at least, their lungs are safe.

0:28:280:28:31

I'm not putting my child in a mask.

0:28:310:28:32

Can you see the future with children going to school with gas masks?

0:28:320:28:35

I've already invested in 5,000 of them.

0:28:350:28:37

I need to sell as many as I can.

0:28:370:28:39

-Sorry, but I've got stuff coming from my nose and stuff.

-Really?

0:28:390:28:42

Cos of the pollution? Yeah.

0:28:420:28:44

Well, far be it from me to take advantage of, you know,

0:28:440:28:46

your condition, but you should probably buy a gas mask.

0:28:460:28:49

-It's very sad how incredibly air polluted...

-It is, isn't it?

0:28:520:28:56

But that means there's a hole in the market.

0:28:560:28:58

Gas masks for kids.

0:28:580:29:00

We do baby gas masks as well.

0:29:000:29:02

SHOUTS: Back to school gas masks sale.

0:29:020:29:04

Get your gas masks

0:29:040:29:05

for your children here.

0:29:050:29:07

Sir, do you have children?

0:29:070:29:08

Do you have children in the local area?

0:29:080:29:10

No?

0:29:100:29:11

Tell Mummy to buy you a gas mask.

0:29:110:29:13

Say, "I want a gas mask."

0:29:130:29:15

He just said he wanted a gas mask.

0:29:160:29:18

I asked their parents.

0:29:180:29:19

And they said it was OK?

0:29:190:29:20

Well, they didn't...

0:29:200:29:22

-Did you get a letter in the...?

-I sent a text to their mum.

0:29:220:29:24

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