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This programme contains some strong language and adult humour
YOLO 4 Yemen.
I don't forgive him! I want to see him in chains.
MUSIC: Jump Around by House Of Pain
And I'm Toby.
-And we're literally best mates, aren't we mate?
-We are mate.
We just love food, so a few years
ago we took over a boozer in East London,
priced out the locals and turned it into a gastro-pub.
Then some telly producers we knew at uni gave us our own
TV cookery show because that's how that works.
This is Gastro Kitchen.
Television is served.
Not only do we cook food and eat food, we also say things about food.
I love food.
I literally love it,
I'm passionate about it...sometimes I think I might even fancy it a bit.
Well, I actually love food so much that I truly believe
that pretty much everyone should eat it.
OK, what's for starters?
I've decided to go for an absolute classic, foie gras.
But this isn't any old foie gras,
it's made by a man with a very unusual past.
Foie gras is a delicious form of pate made from the liver of a goose.
The geese are force-fed corn, twice a day,
to fatten them up and give that pate a lovely, rich, buttery taste.
One farmer's pioneering techniques are paving the way to ensure
an even tastier taste.
My name is Hank Duke and I spent five years as
a CIA interrogator at "Gitanamo" Bay Terrorist Prison Facility.
After I retired from torturing "Ayrabs", I wanted a quiet life.
So, I moved here to Norfolk.
And I became the UK's only produce of foie gras.
What in the name of Jon Bon Jovi is going on here?!
Get outta here!
Welcome to the big house!
Well, I run a pretty tight ship.
They get ten minutes exercise and they're back on with the
blindfolds and some shut the...
Hey! Don't you look at me like that!
I'll get in there and I'll kick your little face in.
Sadly there's no redemption for these little souls,
they going to turn their little minds to evil.
All, except Little Hank up there.
Oh, he's one of us now.
He's a little turncoat. He sleeps in my bed and he eats at my table.
He's the best friend I ever, goddamn, had.
Well this right here is your classic sensory deprivation kit.
Consisting of ear muffs and a blindfold,
and after two days of wearing that...
they usually ready to go on hunger strike.
And that's when the force-feeding begins.
And let me tell you, my dick gets real hard for a force-feeding.
'Mmm, that sounds delish!
'But what will the British public think?
'I've take some of Hank's foie gras to market.'
It's called Freedom Foie Gras it's produced by an
American chap called Hank Duke, he retired from Guantanamo Bay
and he employed all of the techniques he learnt there into making foie gras.
It is tasty.
-What you do is, you force-feed the geese for about three hours...
-Yeah we know...
The liver expands so that it's almost bursting,
-but it gives it a lovely buttery taste.
-Force-fed down the neck, you know...
I hate the idea, they just stick a tube in a duck,
and they just pour food till the liver explodes.
It's similar to, erm, duck pate, really.
It is very similar to the duck pate, but with a lot more intense pain.
-So much pain.
To just feed us a little bit of things spread on a bread.
Well at least the goose knows he's becoming part of an
incredible luxury product.
Obviously, there are lot of, erm, quite extreme geese in this country so...you know, he's dealing
with that problem as well as producing a lovely by-product.
Honestly, the more he's telling me the more, the more I'm becoming a vegetarian.
Some geese, they're real little shits.
What do you have against geese?
Well have you ever been pecked by a goose?
You ever been pecked by a goose?
Or do you know anyone that's been pecked by a goose?
-Erm, maybe my kids at some point.
Welcome to Inside The Story.
I'm Dale Maily, fearless,
hetero journalist who's not afraid to be unafraid.
I deliver fair, impartial news as it happens.
Wherever it happens.
Telling you the right way to think.
There's nothing better than watching beautiful women,
or even children, in make-up competing in what our
American cousins call "a beauty pageant."
But now a group of cross-dressing transgenders are trying to
take our pageants for themselves.
And it's totally wrong.
What constitutes real beauty?
-Ha, interesting, what constitutes real beauty?
Nothing does. It's in the eye of the beholder.
When you realised that you had these feelings,
why didn't you just fight them?
Well, there is a, erm, I mean, erm...
I was told, that I should know my place, and I should,
you know, be who I'm supposed to be.
-It was quite confusing.
-Oh, that died out years ago.
If you want to wear a dress, wear a dress.
If you want to wear eyeliner, wear eyeliner.
But what if your dad said, "No, Dale."
You know, I mean, "You can't have eyeliner."
Am I allowed to swear? I'd say, "Fuck you."
I am here with the absolute blonde bombshell that is Pamela.
I mean, goodness me, you're a sight for sore eyes, aren't you?
You're a woman, I bet you can parallel park as well.
-Eh, I've not lost me driving skills.
I would take you for a drink and I'd even pay for it.
Well that's very kind of you.
Would you have white wine or a pint or...?
That is, I mean that's not English, is it? That's...
'It was competition time and I already had a favourite.
'Who, I'm not ashamed to say, I hoped would join me for a spritzer.'
A body of a woman and a mind of a man. What more could you want?
'It was now all down to the judges to crown their winner.'
Give it up, nice and loud, for Miya!
'Typically British stunner Pamela was pipped to the post...
'by a foreigner!'
-You actually want a boob job?
-Yeah, I want a free boob job.
So will you just, when you get those boobs,
will you just spend your days just sexually assaulting yourself?
I know I would.
This is Dale Maily for Inside The Story.
I'm off to the pub.
I mean look at ya, got your crown, absolutely incredible. Shall we...?
-Shall we go? I mean...
-I know. I know.
I knew Dad was wrong about girls like you.
Ha. After you, after you.
-British activists and South Korean families gather outside
a Reckitt Benckiser shareholders' meeting in London.
After the firm accepted responsibility for selling
products linked to fatal lung injuries.
Since 2011, 530 have registered claims for lung ailments
after using humidifier sterilisers in South Korea.
92 deaths are believe to be linked to the item.
Reckitt, known for brands like Dettol and Nurofen
have offered compensation.
I apologise again.
-This time you lie!
-I'm very sorry.
-You are murderer!
MUSIC: Dance Of The Hours by Amilcare Ponchielli
I've just got to clear a humidifier
on two that might be causing lung damage.
All right. Thanks.
-Hey, how are you doing?
Toxic build-up on the floor, unfortunate.
-Are you serious?
-I knew it.
-You were feeling light headed?
-OK, you're joking?
Hey, there's been something spilt,
well there're been some reputational damage apparently,
there might be some stuff in the atmosphere,
that might be affecting people quite badly. Yeah.
A lot of careers have already been risked in this whole process,
but it could be affecting people quite badly.
Can you come over here? OK.
Hi, you might have some compensational build-up
in one of your moral vacuums,
so we need to come and clean it out from one of the pipes.
It could be affecting respiratory conditions.
Can I just check in the kitchen and make sure everything is all right?
In the kitchen.
I mean once we get it cleaned out,
you guys can just breathe easy, you know.
Toxicity levels are getting better, I've got some 'Kill-it Bang',
so I'm gonna kill it dead.
If you can try and get them to release the compensation
from the moral vacuum we can get it
-to the Koreans that need it.
-That'd be great.
-The appalling conditions that workers say they have to live
in, so they can pack the fruit destined for our supermarkets.
Every where you look the fields are littered with migrant workers,
but it's common to see them in the same field as sprayers.
'This week on Toby vs Toby,
'we went to pick some fruit for our summer pudding.'
There is literally nothing more delicious than fresh fruit
from a pick-your-own fruit farm.
OK, the producers have given us one
hour to pick as much fruit as we can.
Winner gets to drive mummy home?
Oh, my God. You are on! This is going to be crazy!
Now, what Toby doesn't know is that I've brought along
a few special helpers with me today...my nephews!
Toby Jr and Toby Jr!
This is Mikel, he's from Albania.
Mikel, please explain what it is you do for a living?
This is where you keep them?
I get it!
OK guys, three, two, one and...
TOBY BLOWS WHISTLE
MUSIC: My Old Man by Danny La Rue
Well, I mean the pace they're working at,
you must be paying them a fair whack, Mikel?
'I only wanted the juiciest and ripest summer fruits,
'so it wasn't long before I was spurring on the workers myself.'
Oh, my God, look, look, look over here,
there's loads over here as well.
Quick we've only got five minutes. Quick!
Soon, I had enough for my pudding, phew!
And just in time because...
Hang fire Toby, times up mate, it's been an hour and I've got
four delicious punnets of gorgeous summer fruit.
That's great mate, but I've filled up 14 buckets full of fruit.
Mikel, you can have your passports back now, fella.
What a rascal!
Well done mate, gutted for me though.
Looks like you're going to be mummy home.
Sweet! I haven't been this excited since Euro '96.
-The Labour Party is in the midst of a civil war.
With Jeremy Corbyn having won his
second leadership election by a landslide,
many believe that
Labour is too left-wing to be elected into government.
In this series,
we follow two Labour Party members on opposing sides of the argument.
Robin, a dyed-in-the-wool Socialist and canvasser,
and Penny, a Labour Party adviser and self-confessed Blairite.
Both are convinced, that they're version of Labour is the future.
It's July, and Sir John Chilcot has finally delivered his damning
verdict on former Prime Minister Tony Blair's decision
to commit British troops to the Iraq War in 2003.
I accept...full responsibility.
CROWD CHANTS: Tony Blair. War Criminal!
The report concluded that an
imminent threat from weapons of mass destruction
was both flawed and exaggerated.
With protestors gathering outside Westminster calling for Blair to be tried as a war criminal,
never has being a Blairite been so unpopular.
Undeterred, Penny is attempting some damage limitation.
Oh, well, I'm just sort of down here, erm,
doing a small, sort of, questionnaire for the Labour Party.
Just trying to work out how angry people actually are.
Do you think Tony Blair should have...fully vindicated or only slightly vindicated?
No, he should be sent to The Hague.
-Oh, he did, he had a mini-break in Amsterdam with Cherie recently.
-He's a war criminal.
-Don't you think we should move on and think of...
-No, I don't!
I think we should move back.
Move back and make absolutely sure that everybody who was involved
in this, including people like Bush,
-are absolutely brought to account.
So in conclusion, you'd say that
-you forgive Tony but...
-I don't forgive Tony.
No, I absolutely do not say,
but I do not want you to write anything about me
because you're not listening to me.
-Oh, no, I am.
-You're projecting your view about Tony.
I don't forgive him, I want to see him in chains!
They keep saying "Blair lied, millions died."
Perhaps if they realised it was
only 500,000 they'd be a bit less angry.
Maybe I should go and tell them that.
Tony is an incredibly sensitive man...
-How many houses has he got? Nine?
-Eight or nine.
It's not about his houses,
it's about the sleep that he's losing
and I'm worried about him, you know.
A lot of people here, actually, they
don't give a monkey's about Tony's health.
Even the phrase, "rot in hell" has been used. OK.
-OK, you said Penny was your first name...
-Penny, that's right.
Penny has attracted the attention of a news crew,
and is all too happy to give his thoughts on the situation.
-You joined the Labour Party because of Blair...
-Because of Tony, yeah...
-Did he let you down?
-Tony's the first to admit his mistakes,
I think he feels as upset about this as, erm, as anyone.
And considering what happened afterwards,
the hundreds of thousands of people
-who've died, you look at the Middle East now.
Isn't there a case that Mr Blair should be taken to court?
-Taken to a criminal court?
-To any court.
Well, I, just, I think this
has already taken the best part of seven years,
it's punishment enough, you know.
He did have to do six or seven
interviews as part of this inquiry,
which were gruelling.
-Thank you very much. Cheers.
-OK, thanks very much.
Well I'm just putting them down here.
No, we will not, let's put you down there!
-I'm just leaving them on the floor.
-Pick 'em up.
-Pick them up!
-Pick them up?
-Yeah. Go on.
-Pick them up!
I think they're better on the floor.
-No they're not, you're better on the floor, I'll tell you that.
-You're a wanker.
Now it's time for America to bind the wounds of division,
we have to get together, for those who have chosen
not to support me in the past, of which there were a few people.
I'm reaching out to you.
Hillary has worked over a long period of time,
and we owe her a major debt of gratitude
for her service to our country.
I've spent my entire life and business
looking at the untapped potential in projects,
and in people, all over the world.
No dream is too big, no challenge is too great.
we will begin the urgent task of rebuilding our nation
and renewing the American dream.
And I love this country.
Thank you, thank you very much.
So, I'm from Airbus,
proud sponsors of the Science Museum.
Very excited to be down here today with the new exhibit
so we can show patrons what Airbus' business is all about.
We're not just about planes you fly on holiday in,
we're also heavily involved in weapons.
We sell to virtually anyone.
Even if you have a poor humanitarian record, like Saudi Arabia.
-It's the seemingly indiscriminate bombing
that's led rights groups to accuse the Saudis of war crimes.
The feeling here isn't that the outside world
doesn't know what's happening in Yemen,
it's that they don't care.
To balance out the bad press with some good press,
we've collaborated with our friends at the Science Museum
and introduced a fun new educational programme.
A flight simulator where you can fly one of our death machines
heading over to Yemen.
I'm from Airbus, we've got a brand-new exhibition
that shows you what it's like to experience flying
a Eurofighter over a small Yemeni village and boom!
And blowing up some little villages, it's super fun,
would you like to experience the quality
-of an Airbus missile attack...
..as if you were a Saudi Arabian fighter jet pilot?
Obviously, some of these people look a bit sad,
but they're probably going to get bombed anyway.
How much is it?
It's totally free, it's on us, we make enough money,
you can have this one for free.
But it's the experience of pure death
-and destruction or your money back.
And then afterwards, we can offer you counselling if you feel
bad about it, if the experience
-was too realistic and stuff like that.
-This is the missile release button.
And then you have to push the missile release button and
boom and ahh!
And the poor kids, you know,
and you get to really get the authentic experience
of what it's like to be a Saudi Arabian fighter pilot.
-Would you like to have a go?
-Oh, brilliant. Great.
Would you like to have a go? It's totally free.
No, I don't think so.
Hey, I'm Duckface and I'm an Insta-celebrity.
And I'm all about raising awareness about totes important issues
using social media.
Let's change the planet one hashtag at a time, babes.
Oh, hey, guys, it's your gorgeous Duckface here again.
So, babes, last night I heard about this terrible place called Yemen.
There are bombs dropping and it's awful. Eurgh.
So we're going to launch...
YOLO, like, the only live once, babe.
-Do you know about Yemen?
-Mwah, we love you.
-Seize the day.
-YOLO for Yemen.
That's right, guys,
everyone is part of the human race.
-Just good luck with everything.
-You have one life, yeah.
Better conditions in Yemen, you get me?
-YOLO for Yemen, you just live once.
-You only live once.
Come on, a bit more profound than that, go.
-You only live once?
-You only live once, right?
I'm afraid I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.
-Can you just give me a bit of pouty-ness for that.
Hmmm. Ming, ming.
Sorry, babes, I was just meditating.
Well, that'll show those warmongering bitches
not to do that again.
Anyway, guys, got to run,
I've got a charity gala to go to with Lila Donnan.
-Food poverty is often thought of as a problem
for the developing world, not the developed.
-Benefit cuts due to hit the just-about-managing families
-Here at the Wokingham food bank,
they support around 80 people a month,
a growing number of whom have had to come here
after their benefits were stopped.
Here in the UK, charities have accused
British supermarkets of wasting
thousands of tonnes of surplus food
at a time when millions of hungry people are using food banks.
I'm on my way to a farm in Wales who are looking to buck that trend.
-Hi. Good to see you.
-Welcome to the farm.
-Thanks for having me.
So, what exactly do you do here?
Well, it's not exactly what, but rather who.
-Come, let me show you.
-Pretty loud in here.
It is pretty loud, yeah, absolutely.
-So, basically, what we're doing is harnessing the power of wind,
methane to be exact.
We've got 150 disadvantaged units - the unemployed, redundant...
-..who over a day can power
-a small town like Market Harborough.
The surplus supermarket food gets delivered over there,
put into their troughs, ready for feeding.
-Looks like we've got cheese strings today.
The hungry get fed and a roof over their head and we get a much-needed
form of sustainable energy.
Well, sounds fantastic. I'm definitely sold. Bye, guys.
Keep up the good work!
-We know Big Brother is already watching us,
but is the government about to get even more up close and personal?
The right to privacy is more than just keeping your e-mails safe
from the government.
It makes complete sense to give these abilities
to our agencies to help make us all safer.
Somewhere there is a pot of data which could be used to blackmail,
it could be used to attack.
Sorry...just looking at your phone.
-Can I...can I just have a look?
It's the Snooper's Charter, we can check anyone's data.
It's a matter of national security.
-Can I see your phone?
Because if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.
I'm just checking your direct messages on Snapchat.
Do you let people look at your phone a lot?
I'm just seeing from your location services that you just go home,
-work, Tesco's Express.
-What do you need that for?
-This is your phone?
-It's my phone.
It's just that the number that I've called
it's just going to try and sort of download all of your calls,
-your phone history...
-Why would you do that?
In this age, we've just all got to do our bit, you know.
-Well, what have you got to hide?
-I've got nothing to hide.
-Are you sure?
I just saw that e-mail from your doctor and I just want you to know
that it's OK, I have herpes as well.
Look, mate, you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.
-I'm just trying to hack your server.
I'm just trying to catch all your communications data.
No, you can't do this, sir, sorry.
Well, if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.
You're not a terrorist, are you?
You're not one of those weird white converts, are you?
Because if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear.
OK, and I'm in.
Boys, seriously, I mean, I'd delete all of those photos.
You're way too old for Snapchat anyway.
Amazing what technology can do nowadays.
I'm back at the methane farm,
where I've arranged to speak to Rhys,
a local lad who looks after the herd.
So, can you talk me through what you're doing here today?
Well, I saw this one out in the field and he was hobbling,
so I found out that he's got a stone in his shoe,
but he's all right to go back out to pasture, now, aren't you, boyo?
-Are they happy?
-Well, they like the routine, you see.
They get so excited when it comes to feeding time,
because, well, releasing methane,
it's a really nice feeling, isn't it?
Could you introduce me to one?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I can do that, yes.
Bye-bye, Cyril, bye.
I'll show you Ian. Ian.
So, this is Ian. One of the finest specimens we have here.
-He pumps out a lot. Don't you, boy?
How did you end up on the farm, Ian?
Well, you know how it is.
You know, me kids' mobile phone bills were racking up
and I'm just struggling a bit, really, with all the benefit cuts.
-And how are you all finding it now?
The food's decent and the people are lovely...
-There you go.
-All right. Had to...
Had to give up smoking.
-You could blow the whole valley up,
with, you know, because of all the methane.
-Really, is that true?
-That's right. Yeah.
-Nice to meet you, Ian.
-Thanks a lot, Ian.
So, what is it like living on a farm like this, I ask Piers,
the farm's owner.
How does your family deal with life on the farm?
Well, the wife was a bit sceptical at first, but she's come around now.
She likes to feed them their treats on Sundays - cider, beers,
We've had an ingenious development in the tech,
it's called the power bottom.
You can actually harness methane on the move.
Which is great. It means you can use it inside the house.
How's he doing in maths?
-Yeah, he's doing all right.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
It's hypocrisy to take money from a dirty company like BP
that are actually causing
the same sort of thing that's shown in this exhibit.
In this edition of Arts Week,
we look at the historic exhibit Sunken Cities
at the British Museum.
It is thought that fossil fuels like oil and coal
are heavily contributing towards climate change
and rising sea levels.
So, it's marvellous to see oil giant BP are sponsoring this exhibit.
With their history of contributing to climate change
and rising sea levels, BP are the only people
who could have sponsored Sunken Cities.
So, I've met up with the marvellous artist
who's captured what sunken cities of the future may look like.
With this piece, you've really captured that sense of horror,
of terror that I get when thinking about the world
that we're bequeathing to our children
and our children's children.
Absolutely. You see, BP converts fossils into fuel,
but what they're really doing is converting our future
into a watery nightmare.
I'm sorry, sir, what do you make of this submerged art?
You see, BP who sponsored this gallery
wanted to put some sunken cities of the future in here,
as well as those of the past, you know?
Well, it's an interesting concept, isn't it?
-That could be the future.
-What does it say to you?
-Go for it, just burn.
-Just burn, just burn.
-Just burn, yeah.
What does it do to you?
How do you feel when you look at the piece?
Sinking is what I feel.
Sinking, like rising tides of sea levels brought on
by British Petroleum and then just dashed.
Oh, this is amazing, is this part of it?
Suddenly, a completely unexpected improvised layer of performance
took the exhibition by storm.
You see, this is a piece of interpretive art.
This security man will now remove the piece
to take climate change out of our minds.
-So we're in complete denial.
-This is amazing. You are amazing.
There's something incredible happening.
Just let him do his performance. Let him do his performance.
So he wants me to take the climate change piece,
put it in a dark bag and take it away.
-So nobody thinks about...
Now, what we're going to need
for this fabulous meal is a drop of nice vino.
And fortunately for us, Tamsin Chivers
who's our regular wine expert, and also white and middle-class,
knows a thing or two about wine.
Now, for Toby & Toby's fist course, I'm looking for a wine
with a full-bodied taste
to really compliment that creamy foie gras.
And this lovely Chardonnay is absolutely perfect
and you can tell it's a special wine, because it has one of these.
Any wine that someone wants to steal must be good.
"How will I look if I turn up at Greg's party
"with this bottle of wine?"
That's a question that you won't need to ask yourself
if you go for this lovely number here which goes beautifully
with Toby & Toby's chicken salad.
Now, it comes in a rustic box which adds a definite sense
of smugness, more than a hint of arriving at the party
with a more expensive bottle than your friends,
especially Susan, I hate Susan.
And, finally, dessert. Always my favourite wine to choose.
And a great one for Toby & Toby's summer fruits pudding
is this delightful Spanish number.
Very nice. There's a real undertone there of thinking
that you're the life of the party, but actually being too drunk
to realise that you're embarrassing yourself.
-I'm also getting...
I'm also getting...I'm getting divorced, did I mention that?
Apparently I keep pissing the bed and I said to David,
"David, listen, maybe I wouldn't have to drink so much
"if you would just lose a little bit of weight, you fat shit."
And he didn't like that one bit, did he? Oh, no.
Off he went to the football, like he always fucking does.
MUSIC: Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry
Well, I guess we can all agree that the meal has been a roaring success.
Well, we'll see you next week
on Gastro Kitchen.
# They all came running
# They were making noise, manhandling toys
# That's the girls on the block with the nasty curls
# Wearing padded bras sucking beers through straws
# Dropping down their drawers, where did you get yours?
# Gigolo Huh, sukka?
# Gigolo Huh, sukka?
# Who's looking good today?
# Who's looking good in every way?
# No style rookie
# You better watch, don't mess with me
# No money man could win my love. #