Episode 7 Ronny Chieng: International Student

This programme contains very strong language

Now, exceptions to indefeasibility.

An interest will be recorded on the

register if it is discoverable by a proper search of all the material.

If something is noted on the register and the full details aren't explained there upon

but refers to some other document, referenced thereby,

the transfer will be subject to that interest.

Adverse possession rights.

The legal system should recognise rights of possession

that have existed for many years

and are presumably readily ascertainable.

If I might paraphrase

use it or lose it.

Now. Easements.

However so required.

Which allows easements to be acquired

under Torrens System land

under the doctrine of prescription

and almost certainly the general law principals of implied grant.

-The result is a bona fide purchaser is exposed to the risk...

-What did he say?

-Shh!

-..of being bound up by the interests that...

-Oh, my God your notes are amazing.

-..cannot be generally ascertained from the register alone...

-Who did the animation?

-Shh!

..which means some bastard can dig a bloody big hole in your back yard and stick a pipe in it.

And that is property law and that is the last lecture of the semester.

Are there any questions?

Good. All right.

The open book exam is in two days, you can bring any notes that you want.

They'd better be the best notes every written on property law

because this exam is a masterpiece.

You may be inclined to prayer but God himself would fail this exam.

Good luck, and I'll see you all back here when you repeat the subject.

Sir, uh, on behalf of the rest of the class,

I'd like to thank you for all of the effort...

Shut up. All right, you can all go.

Wei Jun? Wei Jun? Hey, my notes are hot garbage,

-is there any chance you could maybe lend me yours?

-Sure.

Here. My whole semester on this. It's all yours.

-Oh. Really?

-Hm.

-Thanks so much.

-You're welcome.

I'm actually kind of surprised you would just give me all your

-hard work for nothing.

-That's what friends are for.

But don't share with anybody.

OK. Yeah. I promise. Thanks so much.

You can borrow my notes too if you want.

-No. That's OK.

-What?

How do you still not have a laptop?

Never again, pen and paper for life.

Can't get a virus, can't run out of battery, can't be accidentally deleted.

Yeah, and can't be read.

Did you write this while you were having a seizure?

-Oh, my God. What is that? Is that cheese?

-Oh, that's Brie.

I've been looking for this.

-Mm. Do you want some?

-No!

How does anyone have time to lie around in the sun like a bunch of lizards?

Not everyone is a hyper competitive stressed out law student.

Slackers. Man, property law sucks.

-Yo, has anyone ever passed this?

-Yeah, right.

Might help if we did a study group.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Let me just print these notes out first.

-But, please, just don't ask Elvin.

-Why not?

-Because I don't study with anyone dumber than me.

-That's why.

But we should help each other out. Because we're all in this together.

No. I agree just not him.

This is probably going to be an all-nighter,

I'm going to get some coffee.

-Ah, uno latte?

-Sure. No worries.

-Grazzi.

What are you, 12?

Coffee's amateur hour, bro. You want to stay awake?

You need some of these. Over the counter cold and flu tablets.

It's the best way to stay awake and alert.

You use these to study?

That's actually a great idea. I just use them for three-day raves.

-And they work?

-Definitely.

I mean you might experience a little bit of anxiety, depression,

aggression, paranoia, stuff like that.

-But apart from that, it's awesome.

-I'm sold. Thanks, man.

Hey, hey, hey, you got more of that?

Oh. I'm sorry man. I'm all out.

-I was just about to go get some more, though.

-Can I come with you?

Yeah. Sure!

You know?

I think that's the first time you've said something to me that wasn't fuck you.

See? Helping each other out already.

Yeah, we could all use some help.

-Hey. Are you OK?

-Yeah! Why?! Why do you ask?

You're eating cold and flus like Tic Tacs and I'm pretty sure you've never done drugs before.

This isn't doing drugs, OK? Drugs are for fun. This is work.

Isn't one of your mums biggest rules, don't do drugs?

Yeah. My mum also gave me Ginseng pig's brain soup during exam

period to boost study performance, this is the same thing. OK? Relax!

-OK.

-Oh, my God! Wei Jun's notes are amazing!

Like a work of art, there is every class from every semester here.

And Wei Jun's totally fine with this?

Yeah, as long as I don't share them with anyone. Even you.

Why would I need those notes when

I've got my pen and paper?

With these notes I will be unstoppable.

Just give me my A right now. Whoo!

Whoo!

Can I get a packet of cold and flus, please?

Extra strength. Feel pretty sick.

HE COUGHS

Make it double. I'm also really sick.

Yeah, sorry guys. I'm all out.

Wait. How can you be out?

During exam time, the demand for cold and flu tablets is really high.

Plus, there's the whole meth thing.

What's the meth got to do with this?

Some bad people are using the pseudo ephedrine

in the cold and flu tablets to make meth.

So between the drug dealers and the students,

they've completely cleared me out.

But I do have some herbal remedies to help with alertness?

No. Fuck that shit. We need synthetic chemicals.

HE COUGHS

For our colds.

Yeah, sorry, I can't help you.

I can't believe the drug addicts make it harder for legitimate

students to take cold and flu pills to study.

I know, right? It's like it's easier

to buy meth than cold and flu tablets.

-Actually, that could work!

-Hm.

And that is how we would convert the methylamphetamine into

pseudoephedrine, which is the active ingredient in cold and flu tablets.

How do you know this?

Because I'm genius.

And I have Google. So, if you get the meth, I can reverse the chemical

process through a diastereoselective reaction,

-and convert it back into pseudoephedrine.

-Right.

And then we have all the cold and flu tablets we need.

So are we making a meth lab?

-Because I'm pretty sure that's against college rules.

-No!

We take the meth and then make it into something better.

So technically this like the anti meth lab.

Oh, well, that's OK, then.

-Hey, guys.

-What?!

Have you seen these exam notes that have been going around?

Oh. They are fantastic.

They make everything so much easier to understand.

And, look, there's even animations.

Wait! Where'd you get this?

They're being shared all over the university. I mean whoever made

them, they are giving away all their hard work for nothing!

HE CHUCKLES

How did everyone get Wei Jun's notes?

Oh, shit!

Whoo!

Cheers, Chieng.

This would never have happened with a pen and paper.

Wei Jun's going to kill me.

Look, if these notes are as good as

you say then everyone will just get an A.

Yeah, but that's why Wei Jun didn't want me to share them around.

She entrusted me with them, she obviously didn't want anyone other than me to get an A.

There is nothing you can do about it now.

It's not like you can make everyone get a B.

Wait. That's it! I'll make everyone get a B!

-What? How?

-I'll just take Wei Jun's notes I'll plant errors in them

and then I'll release them as like a new even better updated version 2.0.

Everyone is so desperate for notes they'll eat that shit up.

-So you're sending out hot shots?

-What are hot shots?

When drug dealers spike a package with poison

to kill people that have become a problem.

Yeah. That sounds right, yeah.

You're going to sabotage the whole year level?

No. I'm just going to plant enough errors so that people who use them

get a lower grade. In a way I'm actually balancing out the universe.

But you end up on top of the universe.

Pff, Asher, I'm not forcing anyone to take the hot shots. OK?

In fact, I'm teaching people a lesson on not taking the easy way

out by relying on other peoples notes.

Get on board, man, I'm just trying to do the right thing.

No! The right thing is to tell Wei Jun you lost her notes

and then we start the study group.

Nah. This is easier.

Hey, Captain America.

Just your usual gram of weed?

Nah. You got any meth?

Whoa. You kids grow up so fast.

-Yeah, how much do you want?

-All of it?

-All of it?

-Yeah.

I just want to get out of my comfort zone you know?

Challenge myself to try new things.

Oh. You're trying meth for personal development?

Yeah. Yeah. All about that PD. Be your best, nothing less.

Yeah, well there is a lot here for personal development.

-Just don't fuckin' OD on me, yeah, and cause a crack down?

-Of course.

-I'd never do that to a friend.

-Here you go.

This shortage of cold and flu tablets, mate,

it's killing the meth trade.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I mean usually it's meth that does the killing right?

That's not even funny.

Just kiddin'. Get going. Get going.

OK. I got the meth.

OK that's good. I'm nearly ready to cook.

You know, I think it's cool we're taking this harmful thing off the

streets. It's almost like we're doing a community service.

Yeah. Whatever.

Just don't touch the hydrochloric acid, it melt your face of.

In fact don't touch anything! This is very delicate process.

OK. Gotcha.

Hey! What you doing?

I've never tried meth before.

Just wanted to see what it was like before we used it all up.

-What are you crazy? This shit destroys lives.

-Sorry.

Fucking idiot.

OK. Let's make some study aids.

HAPPY MUSIC PLAYS

There's your half.

Whoa! This is enough pills to stay awake forever!

Be careful with that.

That's 95% enantiomerically pure pseudoephedrine.

Awesome. Wait, what does that mean?

-It mean that good shit and I'm the best.

-Yeah. We're the best.

OK. See you later. I have A plus to study for.

Oh, OK. I thought we... I can study here with you if you want.

-No, we done here. Thank you very much.

-Oh.

-Well, do you want to grab some food first?

-No, OK, see you, bye.

Is there any chance we will start the study group tonight?

Yo, Asher, I don't have time for a study group, all right?

I have to finish these hot shot notes and get them on the street before the morning.

-Also, I'm out of cold and flu tablets.

-Wow.

Who would've thought that failing an entire year level would be

-so exhausting?

-Pff! I'm not failing anyone. I'm giving everyone a B.

They should be grateful. B for boy, B for balloon, B for bee!

Craig, what's wrong?

I'm so bummed out.

-B for bummed!

-I thought Elvin and I were finally friends.

Turns out he was just using me for a little something something.

Craig, Elvin's a selfish fuck, man, why would you want to hang out with

someone who is just trying to do things to benefit himself?

Yeah. Hey, you're right. Thanks, man.

Hey, you got any more cold and flu tablets by any chance?

Yeah. I got a whole new batch.

All right. Whoo!

Ronny! Jeez. Go easy!

Yeah, those ones have a bit more kick in them than usual, OK?

so make sure you're not having them on an empty stomach.

Breakfast! Most important meal of the motherfucking day. Whoo!

Whoo!

HE GARGLES

Hey, Captain America, I told you, I got no meth left, mate.

No, no, man, I got something for you, OK? Check this out.

-Are those cold and flu tablets?

-Yep.

95% entiamoerljfasfecent pure.

-Where'd you get this many of em?

-WHISPERS: I made em.

You made these? Can you show me how?

Yeah. Sure. I mean, I guess that's what friends are for, right?

Whoa! Yes!

Guys! That mysterious Good Samaritan just released version 2.0 of their notes.

Everyone is sharing it around.

I cannot believe people just blindly trust these anonymous notes.

I know. How can anyone believe someone just gives them

all their hard work for nothing.

Wait a minute.

SLOWED DOWN: I didn't expect you to give me all your hard work for nothing.

That's what friends are for.

Wow, you weren't wrong.

Wei Jun's notes are pretty amazing.

Look at the artistry of this.

Don't touch them! They were hot shots from the start!

KNOCK ON DOOR

-What?

-Hey? I know you're studying

-but I just gotta help out a friend real quick, OK?

-Hi!

Sweet set up, man.

What the hell?! Who are you?

-So, this is your little personal development programme?

-Told you it was cool.

-So, are you going to show me how you made them?

-Yeah. Sure. OK.

So you get this stereosonic endomorphic and you mix that

-with the hypercolour crystal.

-Stop it! That's not toy!

Actually... Elvin knows it better than I do.

-Oh. Well if you don't mind.

-Both of you, get out now.

Oh. OK. We'll go.

Not until you and you show me how you make these cold and flu pills!

-OK. OK. Take it easy!

-Now!

The recipe is on my laptop. Let me just bring it up for you?

Yeah, that's fine. Just give me the laptop.

Can I just e-mail to you?

-I'm in the middle of writing notes for this exam.

-Not going to ask you again.

Give me the laptop, and those cold and flu pills.

Hey, man, this isn't how friends treat partners or friends.

Just give me the stuff!

-Oh, if you want it, you're going to have to fight us for it.

-What?

OK.

What happened to you guys?

We made our own cold and flu tablets from meth and got mugged. You know?

That is the last time I trust a violent drug dealer.

OK. You know what? I don't even care.

All right, the exam's tomorrow, I don't have any decent notes and I have a splitting headache.

-Well, the drug dealer stole my property law notes.

-Why?

Because he want to start his own legal practice? I don't know!

Wait! Hang on. I got it. I got it.

Tomorrow before the exam we set off the fire alarm. Problem solved.

Yeah! We could light the garbage bin on fire.

That should be enough to start the sprinklers!

-OK. We'll need matches and masks.

-Enough!

How about instead of trying to cut corners with more dumb ideas,

you all sit down with the time you have left and study.

Well, for one thing there is not enough time

and for a second thing we don't have any decent notes!

Well,

if we combine our resources and we coach each other through it, we

should be able to write new notes by exam time!

Ie form a study group!

I've got my hand written notes. What have you got?

I've got the crappy notes I've been writing all semester.

I have really, really smart brain.

I got lots of study drugs.

Were those up your arsehole?

No. Gross. They were between my leg and my balls.

All right. Study Group!

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

PHONE RINGS

Good morning, Mrs Chieng!

Ronny? What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing? I'm studying for my exams! It's like in 30 minutes!

-Have you been studying all night?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like you said, gotta stay focused, gotta put the work in, ah,

-no short cuts!

-Yeah. That's great, nah!

You sound so much more alert than usual!

-How is study going?

-It's going great, been on a roll,

got some help from friends, almost done here.

I feel like a shark, gotta keep moving, I can't breath.

OK, Ronny. I'm so proud of you!

Thanks, Mum, I love you too. You should call more often, I love

talking to you.

-Goodbye, my son! I love you.

-I love you too, Mum. Bye!

-Goodbye, my son!

-Bye! Bye!

You know I think she likes me better when I'm on drugs.

OK, Gilmore Girls.

Print that out. Let's go, go, go!

All right! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Ronny, are you OK?

Yeah, I am the best. Never better. Top of my game.

OK! The exam is two hours. Your time starts...

-DISTORTED:

-..now.

Now.

Now.

Don't touch my egg tart!

Are you studying hard?

Focus on your fear!

Law is conflict. Conflict is law.

-ECHO:

-Ronny! Ronny!

..Mr angry Asian man!

International experiences.

Experiences... Experiences...

DISTORTED LAUGHTER

Don't forget...

No pain, no grain.

Like a diamond...

..theatre performer.

GLASS SMASHES

SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY

This isn't just some TV show about you.

What are you waiting for?!

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

This court is adjourned.

Spanking!

DISTORTED VOICES

HORN BLARES

Pens down.

-Shit!

-Yeah, that exam was even tougher than I thought.

Hey, what did you get for question two? And did you find

question three way harder than question four?

Asher, Asher, please, can we stop talking about the exam?

It's over, I don't want to think about it.

Man, we just had enough cold and flu tablets to kill a horse.

Oh, wait. You idiots didn't take cold and flu tablets

to improve your exam performance, did you?

-No. No.

-No, no.

Come on, hand 'em over.

I'll take one just to make sure they're legit.

They're legit.

Oh, they're better than legit.

Woo!

Hey, Wei Jun, I know what you did and you didn't get away with it.

What are you talking about?

You gave me shitty notes so that I would poison the whole year level

with them. But guess what? It didn't work, because I poisoned myself.

What?! The notes I gave you are the exact same one I am using today.

No, don't believe it. See? Right here.

It is...

the exact same one you gave me.

-You are a good friend.

-Hey, guys!

-I am sorry.

Oh. Tough exam, huh?

Can we please stop talking about the exam!

OK, OK! Oh, yeah, I hope you guys did not use the notes

I was telling you about, because I found some errors in version 2.0,

which made people worry about 1.0.

So I think most people did not use any of them.

So people just used their own notes. I guess you did balance out

-the universe.

-But I ended up on the bottom!

Well, at least everyone worked together for once.

Can we please save the moral of the story for some other time?

I'm way too tired.

Slacker.

Come on, maybe you passed.

My answer to question five was a whale jumping over a unicorn.

Oh, OK.