Episode 2 Room 101 - Extra Storage

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello. I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to Room 101,

the show where three guests compete to get their pet hates

exiled forever to the dark vault that is Room 101.

In each round, only one choice can make it into the dreaded room.

The final decision is mine.

Joining me tonight are Masterchef's Gregg Wallace,

presenter and journalist, Gabby Logan, and comedian Sarah Millican.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, how are you feeling about Room 101?

Have you found the choices easy to make?

I did a law degree and so I was trained to argue anything.

So I can argue both sides, which I hate myself for.

Even on my first category, I will try and argue vehemently,

I could argue against it as well, I've found about myself.

I've found that's a skill that many women possess.

Right then, let's have our first category.

Well, it's Food & Drink.

I think we have to start with our resident expert,

so let's see what Gregg's food and drink choice is.

-So what is it? What is it, Gregg?

-I really can't stand barbecues.

-CROWD: Oooh!

-Don't "ooh" me!

Ohhh, you've lost. Ooh!

We've only just started, don't "ooh" me.

-Barbecues, I hate them, hate them.

-What do you have against them?

It used to be, you'd get invited to someone's house

and the worst you'd have to put up with was a buffet.

Now, men who only ever normally go in the kitchen to throw their

empty beer cans away, think they've mastered one of the most difficult

cooking techniques known to man, with absolute disastrous results.

You're in the garden, no tables and chairs, a steak that needs cutting,

with a paper plate and a plastic fork.

You've also got a napkin and a glass of beer, it doesn't work!

Can I just say, I'm all for al fresco dining,

just not the barbecue.

No-one's suggesting for a second

that you're against al fresco dining.

The thought never crossed my mind, I won't have that,

I won't have that hung upon me. See, I love the fact that it's informal,

you don't get a knife and fork and it's all laid-back.

Things like a chicken leg and a lamb chop,

I don't want to eat them with a knife and fork.

If God gives food a handle...

let's use it!

What you're objecting to is the way we eat barbecues,

rather than the barbecue...

-No, and the people that cook them.

-Because you do...

I've seen a man with a sausage on fire turning it!

-Charcoal grilling is a difficult skill.

-What about a pig on a spit?

What you do on a Friday night with the curtains drawn...

Don't need to drag us in your private hell, Gabby.

Isn't it because you're from the professional

-showbiz cookery world, and...

-Showbiz cookery?!

You keep telling us that it's a very special art, where really,

really cooking is just making food a bit hotter.

APPLAUSE

Can I ask you, I read on your Wikipedia page

that you are officially called an "ingredients expert"?

They said when we started doing Masterchef, "What can we call you?"

I said, "I'm a greengrocer." They said, "We can't do that."

So they came up with ingredients expert.

Do you look through ingredients in supermarkets?

Well, no, I'd be very careful of food packaging.

Like strawberry flavoured yoghurt,

you'd be lucky to find any strawberry in at all.

The same with condoms, as well?

They're strawberry flavoured sometimes, aren't they?

They've definitely not got any fruit in, have they not?

-Were you taking that as your five-a-day?

-Well, one of them.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

OK, then, let's have a look at Gabby's choice

on the food and drink front.

-Blimey!

-This is the buffet.

This is a heart attack waiting to happen and this, unfortunately,

seems to be the future of dining. If you look at the States

and the all you can eat buffet, which is anathema in itself.

For 4.99, how you can have lobster, steak and prawns,

as the Vegas hotels advertise, and it not come from some deep-freeze

and been there 20 years, I don't know. But this is...

But I think in America, Gabby, "all you can eat" is a challenge.

That's what I'm worried about, because this trend for over-eating

and no portion control,

the buffet is obviously the first stop, you know,

because you can just keep going, and the combinations of foods

that you can have on a buffet are infinitesimal.

I was in South Africa last year and you could have curried prawns,

lamb chops and spaghetti bolognese on the same plate,

and one of my colleagues did. You know, it's disgusting to look at,

to watch somebody eat that combination of food.

But that's what I love about buffets.

You don't have to have the salad or the green stuff,

you can just have the stuff you really like.

It's sort of like a savoury pick 'n' mix.

It's fraught with hazards. If you go first to the buffet,

you look greedy. If you wait, you get stuck in the queue

with somebody you don't want to talk to.

That's why you just pop something in,

then you don't have to talk to anybody.

You don't have to pile your plate up. You can keep going.

You get two plates' worth by the time you get to the end of the table.

I'm amazed that you bother with a plate, Sarah.

Well, look, I've got a clip now of something which

I think justifies the whole buffet culture.

Have a look at this.

'Guests at a cocktail party need three things, a glass of wine,

'a plate of hors d'oeuvres and a free hand.

'Of course, this isn't always possible.'

Hey! I'm Adam, Carol's husband.

'Don't let this happen to your guests.

'Party Plate Clips are a must-have for the sensible host or hostess.

'Guests can attach a clip to their appetiser dish

'and then rest their glass of wine in the holder.

'Even with a ridiculously full glass of wine, the Party Plate Clip

'keeps everything balanced and easy to hold. Party Plate Clips.'

APPLAUSE

-That's brilliant! That's brilliant.

-Isn't it just the best thing ever?

The brilliant thing, it doesn't only fit on a plate,

it fits very neatly on the dashboard.

OK, let's see what Sarah's choice is.

Blimey!

My choice is Chicken Kiev.

But a dry Chicken Kiev.

I'm happy with a normal Chicken Kiev, it's maybe sort of 60% of my diet.

Oh, you're doing the "Chicken Kiev diet", very popular.

They're like adult nuggets, aren't they? You can sort of,

you can get away with it. I can't have nuggets any more, cos I'm 36,

but I can have a Chicken Kiev.

Although I've never had one that's the same size as me head before.

-But why do they get dry, then?

-Because they burst in the oven!

-Oh.

It's really annoying, cos I'm looking forward to,

cos chicken on its own, I could buy chicken on its own

if I wanted it, but I didn't want it, I want it with the stuff in!

And I can't cook, so I'm heavily reliant on oveny things.

I don't know that chicken was ever designed to be a sachet.

It was one of the first, I have this fact here, in 1976,

-it was Marks and Spencer's first ever ready-meal.

-Wow!

What about that? And we actually asked about the price.

-The price of a Chicken Kiev in 1976 was two quid for two.

-Whoa!

Really expensive.

And then we checked how much it costs in 2012 to buy a similar item.

Still two quid. Yeah.

So they were sort of quite elitist in the '70s, weren't they?

Yeah. And a brilliant investment.

You know, in these volatile financial times,

I suggest you put your money in Kievs.

So, look, you've all argued very well.

I feel, Sarah, I can't put the Kievs in.

I feel it's your fault, whereas, the Kievs per se are beautiful.

And I, well, I mean, I love all these things.

A barbecue, I think it's important that,

it's the people's cooking and we should champion that.

So, on this occasion, I am going to put Gabby's choice in.

So, buffets go into Room 101.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Anyway, let's move on to the next category.

Film & Television, and let's begin with Gabby's choice.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Clever.

Oh, you've already won.

I'm not reserving all barrels for The Only Way Is Essex.

The Only Way Is Essex is symbolic of scripted reality,

which is this new genre of television

which seems to have taken over in the last year.

My main gripe with The Only Way Is Essex and its love children,

for example, Made In Chelsea, Geordie Shores,

Desperate Scousewives, I don't know if I've made that up or it exists,

these programmes, I fear, are going to be cheap ways

of filling our televisual time. If somebody said that the money

that was going into these was being taken out of comedy on a channel

-then you'd probably feel...

-Oh, that's a low blow!

I sense though there is an intellectual aspect.

It was based on Aristotle's book The Only Way Is Ethics.

I worry about what my kids are going to watch,

who their role models are going to be

and I just think... They do nothing! They stand for nothing.

-They just...

-OK, OK. Well, just in case, Gabby,

that no-one here has seen any scripted reality,

this is one of the moments on The Only Way Is Essex

when somebody got vajazzled.

"Step one - start by shaving or waxing your bikini area completely."

-Done that, babes?

-Yeah.

-You're not hairy-werey today?

-No, I've had a wax this week.

OK. "Stage two -

"apply the crystal stickers to the upper part of your bikini area only."

So, basically, don't put it on your bits. Basically.

"Practise vajazzling safely." Obviously. We're professionals.

"Do not wear vajazzle crystals for more than 24 hours."

Right, honey, so what kind of design would you like?

-Start off, then do what you think looks good.

-I'm not good at art.

LAUGHTER

I think there's something lovely about their naturalness

because in actors, they have to play everything up.

You know that she would have looked into camera and gone,

"I'm no good at art."

I think if I was getting a vajazzle I'd just loads of tiny brown crystals

and just put it back on, like a triangle.

Hang on, you mean, blonde, surely?

Yeah, yeah, blonde, yeah, blonde.

No, I love... I'm showbiz, I love a star-studded opening.

AUDIENCE GROANS

I think they shouldn't call it vajazzling,

they should call it blinge.

Anyway, let's see what Gregg wants to put

into the Film & Television category.

I can't stand TV about ill people.

Hospital dramas, people having operations, it's just...

It just seems so wrong, I mean, I've been to hospital,

it's not a happy place.

It's got a theatre.

I mean, you can even sometimes see women having boob operations,

-let alone...

-Can you?! Is there a viewing gallery?

People having plastic surgery, even the hospital dramas...

Listen, you wouldn't say, "Auntie Ethel's had a heart attack.

"Kids, we can all go to the hospital and point at the ill people."

It just seems wrong to me, it's like slowing down a car crash,

-simple as that.

-OK.

-Do you like Animal Hospital?

-No, it's another thing I can't...

You see, the first time I watched that I was so gutted.

I honestly thought it would be animals operating a hospital.

I thought there'd be an Alsatian with a scalpel sellotaped...

OK, well, we have a montage,

I'm going to call it a montage of medical drama,

just to give a bit of a flavour of what you're talking about.

No, no, no, no!

Argh!

No!

Ah!

APPLAUSE

That's like extreme You've Been Framed, isn't it?

I like it in programmes like Casualty,

it's like guessing who it's going to be and what's going to happen,

that's one of the best bits.

When a bloke looks through the kitchen window and says,

"Is that the next-door neighbour's Rottweiler in our garden,"

and you think, "Don't go out. Don't go out."

"It's wee-ing up that World War II bomb."

Here's a bit of drama set in a hospital, Gregg.

I think you'll like this.

PA: 'Dr Caspar to the ER."

Since when were dogs allowed in hospital wards?

Well, yeah, that's from a programme called One Tree Hill,

which is a pretty bad place for a dog to live anyway, let's face it.

I think it's brilliantly done though because, I don't know

if you've worked with dogs and things and cats,

but they can't do anything,

so I was very impressed by the dog acting.

Let's see what sort of Film & Television

Sarah Millican doesn't like.

I have to say that I don't see the connection between my subject.

I don't know, what's in the tin?

It's not like programmes about beans I don't like.

"Oh, I hate all those programmes on the telly that are about beans."

Don't do anything rash, but have a tentative look at the tin.

Has it got...

SHE SHRIEKS

That's what I don't like.

-Surprises.

-Yeah, I don't like surprises.

I don't like films and TV that have surprises.

I like to know what the surprise is.

I really wanted to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

but I don't like horror films, but I'd heard it was a really good film,

so I got my boyfriend at the time to describe it

and he described the whole thing from start to finish, then I watched it,

and I was really smug throughout because I knew what was coming up.

And that's how I handle it. I'm not good at surprises in general though.

Is your favourite TV programme Tales Of The Expected?

You don't like surprise presents either?

No, for Christmas we used to make a list of things that we'd like

and then we'd get those things. Like, my boyfriend likes to buy surprises

for me, but I don't like surprises,

so I now give him a list of pre-approved surprises.

It's true, and then he's got five or six things

that he can pick any one from.

I don't know which one it's going to be,

but I know that's it's definitely not something rubbish

that he thinks I'd like that he'd be wrong about.

He gave me a Mr Potato Head once. I'm 36.

I love surprises so much that even when things aren't a surprise

I pretend that they're a surprise.

If somebody's trying to surprise me but I've rumbled them, I pretend.

My husband, he still thinks I'm lying when I say this,

when he proposed to me, I could see the box in his trousers

because they were a bit tight. We walked up the Wallace Monument,

which is about 300 steps, in Stirling, so I knew all the way up

that he was going to pull a box out at the end of it.

Of course, I was still overwhelmed

and cried appropriately and everything, but afterwards...

You're so romantic, "Cried appropriately."

The first argument we had after our engagement,

"I knew you were going to propose."

"No, you didn't!" "I did, I saw the box in your pocket."

-You haven't told him that?

-I'm telling all of you!

You would've known by the fact he was taking you up a height

as that's where people get proposed to because there's less oxygen,

so you're more likely to say yes.

And the fact he spent three weeks before saying,

"Can't wait till we go to Scotland.

"I can't wait till we go to Scotland."

It is strange if people say that.

I have to decide which one of those things it is. Well...

there are some things that are terrifying in films and stuff

which I can't cope with, but I do like that bit of a mix.

Casualty and those dramas they're so loved, they're so loved.

I think on this occasion I'm going to put Gabby's choice in.

I'm going to put The Only Way Is Essex into Room 101.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, let's have the next category, please.

It's People, and I want to find out what people Gregg don't like.

Ahhhh.

-Is it the elderly?

-Scottish people?

That's old people at cash machines.

APPLAUSE

Now, I can understand, you know, also being a child in the '70s

and behind them in the queue in the Post Office saying,

"I don't understand this new money." That was hard enough.

But now, octogenarians with technology that you need

to get your cash out, is just disastrous.

Now, I have a theory that there is a chip in their card

which lets the machine know how old they are,

and if they are over 68, they get a game of Pacman.

That's the only explanation I've got for them being there for 25 minutes.

I think you're being a bit intolerant.

Listen, I got a round of applause, there.

I think we've all suffered the frustration of being

behind people that don't understand the new technology.

-Where are old people supposed to get their cash?

-A special one.

Separate cash points for the elderly, with massive buttons.

I don't know any...

I think they're pretty good with tech...

Some of these old geezers can find their way

around a Thai bride website easily enough.

My mam's just started going online. She likes to buy clothes online

-because she likes to put comments on the website.

-Oh, yeah?

But my sister has to tailor them,

because the last one she wanted to put on was, "The top is lovely,

"but sometimes the tassels go in me dinner."

I love old people. I genuinely love old people,

and I was really sad to hear, not so long ago, a few months ago,

that old people in London are the loneliest in the whole country.

And as I live in London, I thought, "Right, I'm going to make an effort

"when I see old people to smile at them." And they think I'm insane.

Yeah, they don't like it. I find them quite lazy.

The woman next door to me,

she hasn't took her milk in for about two weeks.

If this doesn't melt your heart, Gregg, I don't know what will.

This is...it's some old people.

It's in a restaurant, so it's on your home ground,

They're trying a bit of interviewing and it doesn't quite work out.

What time do you want me next week? Bye-bye.

Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, some pepper.

-What is it?

-It's a microphone.

-What?

-A microphone.

I thought it was pepper!

APPLAUSE

Let's see what kind of people Sarah doesn't like.

-That's you in the car, how lovely.

-I know.

It's experts, so this is a mechanic in this scenario, obviously,

but also sort of dentists...anybody who knows a lot about something

that I might have to tap into, that I don't know the vocabulary.

If I'm in a restaurant and I don't understand the menu,

I Google it, really quietly, like that.

And I need to be able to do that in all of these instances.

I need to check that I'm not being ripped-off.

And it's the same with mechanics.

I take my car in,

I wish I could say it's definitely the flugelbinder, but...

You could say that,

but you'd be paying quite a lot of money, almost certainly.

Well, I went, I had a lump on my wrist

and I went and saw my doctor and he said, "It's a ganglion."

And I said, "Oh, right." I said, "What does that mean?"

He said you had to hit it with a Bible.

I thought, I'm not paying to see a doctor

who gives me advice from Medieval England.

So he said, "OK, I'll send you to see a specialist."

I went to see this specialist, and I said,

"Look, I've got a ganglion.

"My doctor said I should hit it with a Bible."

And he said, "It's absolutely outrageous

"that anyone would suggest that in 2010.

"Hit it with a book representing all the world's religions."

Fabulous. I could have hugged him.

I'll tell you what I'll do, I've got a list here of terms,

some of which are from dentistry and some of which are from mechanics.

-OK.

-And I'm going to ask you three, right, to say which one it is.

So the first one here, is this dentistry or mechanics?

The pulp chamber.

Dentistry.

-Mechanics.

-Dentistry.

It is, indeed. It's the central cavity of a tooth.

-Of course it is.

-Did you know that?

See, I've already replaced that on my Micra.

What about a strut brace?

Pornography.

Oh, yes, sorry, that wasn't supposed to be there.

APPLAUSE

So let's see what kind of people Gabby Logan doesn't like.

You'd better say what it is before people, er...

everyone's a bit edgy at what you're going to say.

Controversial.

It's sales assistants, but a very specific kind of sales assistant,

-because there are very good sales assistants.

-Of course.

But there are also, and I kind of feel like Mary Queen of Shops

when I get on this rant, but she has highlighted a dearth of talent

in the sales area across a whole load of services in this country.

We don't value sales assistants in the way that, for example,

in America you meet waitresses. That's their career.

They want to be a waitress. In this country, it's seen as a stop-gap.

We don't tip properly, we don't give sales people commission in shops.

So they have no real interest in their products.

I'll tell you what surprises me.

I'd have thought that you would get a bit of celebrity treatment.

I wouldn't even think of that when going into a shop.

Oh, you want a bit of celebrity treatment. What's the point?

I was in a shop buying something for my daughter and I said,

"Is this a true age five, or would you say it comes up

"a bit big for an age five? Cos she's just about to be six."

And the girl went, "What?"

And I said, "Well, you know, does this fit a normal five-year-old,

"or is this a bit big for a five-year-old?"

-And she turned to the other assistant and went...

-No!

I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I handed everything to her

and I went, "Big mistake." And I just walked out of the shop.

See, I don't have kids.

I wouldn't have known how to answer that.

I would have gone, "Is your bairn a bit fat then, is it?"

We had a courier company and we had some truffles for Sally Clarke,

a formidable chef, coming back from Italy, and they lost them.

Four or five days later they got hold of them, and I phoned up.

They said, "Mr Wallace, we've found your package.

"We've got it in our London distribution centre."

I said "At Vauxhall?" "That's right."

"I'm at Covent Garden Market, I'll pick it up."

"You can't do that, sir.

"There's nobody down here who's trained to speak to the public."

True story.

Loads of chimps running around.

Could I have a bleurgh-blah?! I've come to pick up a bleurgh-bleugh!

OK. I'm not keen on putting in shop assistants,

because if I do I'll never get served in a shop ever again.

The same reason I wouldn't put in the emergency services,

if you'd chosen those.

-And I cannot put in elderly people.

-You want to though, Frank.

-No I don't, I don't.

-You so want to.

-I think you're too cruel.

But, I also am very intimidated by experts and so it is

experts that intimidate us with their knowledge

that goes into Room 101.

APPLAUSE

And so to the next category.

This is the Wildcard round, because sometimes I feel

we constrain you too much in your hatred and dislikes.

So you get free reign. You can pick anything you like

that winds you up and we're going to start off with Sarah.

Let's see what really, really gets on Sarah's nerves.

Um?

It's erm...

cats that ignore me.

I don't have any animals, I'd like to have a pet,

but I don't have that sort of lifestyle.

I can't have an animal, so I have to rely on other people's animals,

stroking strangers' cats, that sort of thing.

So I will drive along and if I see a bonny looking cat,

I will pull in and then go and try and find the cat.

But they're little buggers in that they hide or they just, you know,

ignore me or they go right underneath a car, not my car.

it wouldn't be bad if they did that cos I'd have a hatch fitted

so I could drag them in.

But they hide right in the centre, where your arm just can't reach.

I've tried all the way round!

I need one of those grabby hands that pensioners have

-for when they drop things.

-Or maybe just an old-fashioned rake.

So they don't, it's like they don't like you, Sarah. Can I suggest that?

-No, I don't think it's that.

-No.

Can I stroke that one, even if he's got his back to us?

This is a good thing, cos if you go down here, they can't bite you.

-Yeah, well that one died in the 1980's.

-Oh, it feels real!

-It is, well it was real.

-That's a real stuffed cat.

Oh! Is this going back anywhere at the end of the show?

I totally want it.

I could put something to heat it up so it felt even more...

I don't think they're like ready meals,

you can bring them back to life with a microwave.

I saw a cat through a window recently and I went up

and I mewed at it. Miaow.

And it mewed back, but obviously it was silent, so it looked quite sad.

But it put its paw up,

it put its paw up at the glass like it was in prison in America,

and I put my paw up as well and we had a lovely moment.

-You put YOUR paw?

-My hand, whatever.

Is there part of this that you're in a cat outfit?

Let's see what Gabby has chosen for her wildcard.

This is a replica of the Olympic torch.

But it's gone out. Symbolically it's gone out.

Because I am trying to put into Room 101

people who poo-poo the Olympics,

who have no enthusiasm for the Olympics,

who put it down, who don't give it a chance.

On the 27th July, 204 countries are represented in 26 different sports.

Hundreds of millions of people will turn...

Am I picking up Five Live on this?

They're going to turn their eyes around the world on London,

and it is an amazing city. I'm lucky in my job to travel,

I've been to different cities and World Cups and all kinds of things,

and the festival atmosphere of an Olympic Games,

what it does to a city and a country's self-esteem,

is incredible. You don't have to love sport, you have to love drama,

passion, enthusiasm, the human spirit

and the things that make people unique. That's all you have to love.

And people who say, "I'm going away when the Olympics is on."

"I'm not watching that. Oh, it's going to be a nightmare."

It's two weeks, the Olympics.

I guarantee the most ardent kind of anti-Olympic person

will be moved when this comes to town, and you will cry

on an almost daily basis, as somebody triumphs against the odds.

Blimey!

Isn't there enough drug abuse in London,

without bringing in a load of athletes?

The good thing about the Olympics being in London is that

when we lose, the runners and whatnot won't have very far to go home.

Well, I must admit,

I'm sort of one of the people you're trying to put into Room 101, here.

I can't get very excited about the Olympics at all.

The other thing I think, and this is, this is not a joke,

I hate the logo so much it's put me off the Olympics.

APPLAUSE

-I think it really...

-It's like the worst jigsaw you've ever seen.

I think that is just the tiniest part of this Olympic Games...

I know, but it's everywhere!

-I could do a better logo than that now.

-Oh, you've got one.

No, I'll do one. I will do a better logo for the Olympics than that.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

We beat Paris, Moscow, New York and Madrid for this...

That's the problem though, that you can't top beating Paris.

French people crying on the telly, the Olympics can't follow that.

Anyway, let's see what Gregg Wallace has chosen as his wildcard.

-Music festivals, and that includes all live music.

-What?!

And I'll tell you what, I know I'm getting old now and I only like

music by dead people, but I'll tell you why I don't like concerts.

You go to concerts to listen to music that you like

by bands who have made songs you like,

you get there to find half the concert is them playing music

you've never heard before, cos they want to promote a new album.

And then they do songs and change them.

So I went to see Elton John, he had a 15-minute Rocket Man.

Now, unless there was a bit missing off my LP,

Rocket Man was about three, three and a half minutes.

There was a big jazz section in it.

Now I think, if you go and see a band, you're going to see them

because you like the music they've done,

not possibly the music they're going to do,

and they should just leave their songs alone.

There's one thing I will say in your, there is,

occasionally you do see something and you do think to yourself,

maybe live music just isn't a very good idea after all.

# My baby's always dancing And it wouldn't be a bad thing

# But I don't get no loving And that's no lie

# We spent the night in Frisco At every kind of disco

# From that night I kissed our love goodbye

# Don't blame it on the sunshine Don't blame it on the moonlight

# Don't blame it on the good times Blame it on the boogie. #

APPLAUSE

Do you know, that's actually better than I remember.

Yes. I thought it was an Elton John gig during a hurricane.

Well, I have one, cos I feel strongly about this, I feel that

live music and bands experimenting on that is very important, Gregg.

I've got one last trump card that I think could win you over.

You are probably the most famous greengrocer in Britain,

maybe even in the world, is that true?

Well, then please welcome the London Vegetable Orchestra.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King

-APPLAUSE

-Well done.

Ohhh, I loved it.

I loved it.

I was actually playing a bit of air parsnip.

Anyway, now apparently the government says you should

listen to five of their songs a day.

OK, I'm going to make my choice.

Well, look, you may have guessed, I'm not going to put live music in,

it's very, it's very, very crucial to me.

And, erm...people who, cats who ignore you...

I think maybe you should get some catnip and everything'll be OK.

The reason I think I'm going to make this choice, Gabby,

is because I am one of the people who moan about the Olympics,

and you know what, I think in a way it's quite bad of me.

I'm going to change my ways. You were so passionate,

I am going to put people who moan about the Olympics into Room 101.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And that brings us to the end of the show.

And so, well done, Gabby,

you've proved to be the most persuasive guest tonight, so you get

to choose one item to go into Room 101 that's completely unchallenged.

-What are you going for?

-I'm going for shell suits.

-Really?

-Yes.

What a shame, I do think, they do say that if you hold a shell suit up

to your ear, you can hear the roar of the ocean at Southend-on-Sea.

OK, you have your own way, Gabby.

I'm going to put shell suits into Room 101.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much to Gregg, to Gabby and to Sarah,

and to you, thank you. Good night.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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