Episode 8 Room 101


Episode 8

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello, I'm Frank Skinner, and welcome to Room 101.

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Supplying the negative vibes tonight are

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soul sister Alice Levine,

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daddy cool Bill Bailey,

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and me little Aunt Sally, Una Stubbs.

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APPLAUSE

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So, what's upsetting Bill?

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Come on!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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It's just not right.

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It's just... There's something wrong about it.

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It's toxic, salty, fishy gloop!

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It looks like the devil's own blancmange.

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It's wrong!

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Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

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Why have taramasalata when there's hummus in the world?

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CHEERING

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I've got to tell you, Bill - I'm not saying this for comedy effect,

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this is absolutely true -

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I have taramasalata as a meal, I would say, five or six times a week.

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-No, you don't.

-What?

-I swear!

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-No, that's...

-I swear that is true.

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And I'll show you why...

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You eat it...

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-five times a week?

-This is how I eat it.

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-Have you seen corn cakes?

-Corn cakes, yes.

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I mean, cakes is pushing it.

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-Let's call them corn coasters.

-Yeah.

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I break those, and I'm...

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Honestly, if my family were here, they would testify to this.

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And I will do this.

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I'll have a bit of greenery with it, bit of salad.

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But mainly...

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Just you eating it like that, it's making me feel ill.

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-It's great!

-How could you?

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-It's not right!

-I love it.

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You've gone for the kind of shop-bought pink one.

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-Yeah.

-Which I think is... Is it Greek?

-It is.

-Is that where

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it's from? It's usually got fresh dill and stuff in it.

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I don't know where the pink's come from.

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It's dyed! It's dyed pink, to make it look more like pudding!

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It might be when I was a kid, I thought it was Angel Delight.

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I took a big spoonful of it...

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-The sort of quality stuff is this colour.

-Yes.

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And I do occasionally...

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That's less suspicious, isn't it?

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-Yeah.

-Now, the whiter stuff, that is the top-quality gear.

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That I...

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LAUGHTER

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Sorry, I'm talking...

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I'm talking like it's some kind of drug you'd buy in a pub.

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You got any of that white stuff? You know, it's not cut

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with the pink stuff. No, that's...

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So, wait, is the pink stuff, that's like street grade?

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That is really the low-grade stuff.

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-That is really being...

-But still lovely and they...

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-It's not!

-They tend to put a little bit of beetroot in it,

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that's all to get it pink.

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-It's nothing bad.

-Bill thinks it's got rat poison in it

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and cement dust!

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The high-quality gear, yes, it's white, it's an ancient food.

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Tarama, which is Turkish for...

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..fish.

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For, "Goodbye, mother."

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And salata, which is Greek for salad.

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I'm not decrying the good stuff, the ancient stuff.

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I'm talking about what you're talking about,

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which is this shop, this cheap, kind of pinky goop.

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-And it's suspiciously smooth as well, isn't it?

-Slimy.

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It's got a strange, slimy texture.

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What do you mean "suspiciously smooth"?

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-Well, because I feel like the good stuff...

-It is slimy.

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Slimy, yeah. The good stuff has texture.

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Hummus is slimy!

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-No.

-It's gritty.

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It's gritty because it's made from hardboard.

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That's what it tastes like.

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It's one of the great foods of the world!

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-Hummus?

-Hummus with a carrot baton

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is one of the great pleasures of life!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-You can put virtually anything in hummus.

-Celery.

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Yeah, but exactly.

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Hummus needs help, in the way that taramasalata doesn't.

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Taramasalata needs to be avoided!

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It needs to be buried in the Earth for millions of years

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until it loses its radioactivity!

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All I'm saying, I don't like its solo work.

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Yeah, but you had to have a flipping corn cake...

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Well, there's a lot of flavour in that!

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..to force the taramasalata down!

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You wouldn't get it with a spoon!

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That's because I don't want to use my fingers.

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Well, use a straw!

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I dare you!

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-You're a musical man, Bill.

-Yes.

-Aren't you?

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Let me see if I can win you over with this.

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-# Taramasalata

-# Taramasalata

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# Just a starter made for two. #

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LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SINGING

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# Tip-top pitta platter went my heart

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# And then somehow I knew

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# Somehow I knew that this was love. #

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This is some kind of hell!

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Make it stop!

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-Where was that from?

-It's from my new album.

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I can't tell you what an important part of my life it is, Bill.

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-I can't believe that!

-You think I'm making it up!

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I have... Every week, I get through three tubs, no problem.

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Would you, like, lick them clean?

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Look at me, look at me! I'm 60! I look fantastic!

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And do you know why I look fantastic?!

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# Taramasalata

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# Just a starter made for two. #

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Nope!

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And so to Una.

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-People who speak too loudly.

-Yes.

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You know like when you're in a cafe or something and there's a group

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of people next door, and they have to shout.

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And the table's only quite small,

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and they like shouting across to each other.

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And the worst thing is...

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I go to Edinburgh quite a lot, because I have a family up there,

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and I love the train journey, it's about five hours.

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And so you've got your picnic and your book, and then suddenly,

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everybody's mobiles come out, and people start shouting down

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into them. You want to go up to them and say, "Excuse me,

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"if you're as sophisticated as you're making out you are,

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"you should know that you don't have to shout into a mobile."

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Technology.

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My partner asked me very early on in our relationship

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whether people thought I was deaf.

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Because people used to come up to me and go...

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HE SHOUTS: "Frankie! Frankie!" from about three feet away.

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-Do you get this, Bill?

-Yes.

-What is that about?

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Is it because we don't respond when they're shouting at the telly?

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That's right.

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I think it's an assumption that you are

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always kind of up for a bit of a laugh.

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-Yeah?

-You know, if you're a comedian,

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people think you're just up for a jape the whole time.

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So they would say, "Bill! Billy! Billy!"

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This is people shouting at me from vans.

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Yeah. You get that thing from a van. "Legend!"

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Which I quite like.

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I got that once, and I was quite proud.

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And I looked around and King Arthur was standing behind me.

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Can you explain it?

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The phone thing, I think that is people thinking you have to share.

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But there are some people...

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Plus, they're showing off as well, aren't they?

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They're doing some big business deal, you know,

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that they want everyone to hear about.

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And you can't carry on reading if people are

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shouting like that, like on the train,

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because their words get all muddled up with the words

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that you're trying to...

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Maybe you should read aloud.

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-Really loud.

-Really loud!

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-To annoy them.

-That would be lovely!

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-That would be so nice!

-If you're going to do that,

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can I come with you?

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Have you ever considered ear plugs, Una?

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No, I haven't!

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-Some people... You know, you put your fingers in your ears?

-Yeah.

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But obviously, if you're in a restaurant, you're eating,

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that's difficult. So I use these.

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Absolute bliss.

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These ones I wear and people don't even know I'm wearing earplugs.

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A little glimpse into the future.

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-They're quite nice!

-Keep you warm.

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What I really hate is when people wear these huge headphones

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and listen to music.

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But then start...

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..you know, joining in with some of the words.

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HE SHOUTS NONSENSE

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-It's horrible!

-So how do you cope with these loud people, Una?

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Do you just tolerate it and smile?

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I suppose I do tolerate it.

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-You've never complained?

-Just close the book and...

-Aww.

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Do you ever lose it? Do you ever just go crazy?

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I'm going crazy inside, but I don't say anything.

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I just... You never know nowadays.

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They could give you a punch or whatever.

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Oh, come on, not in first class.

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Anyway, so what's upsetting Alice?

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So, passive aggression, in general, I love.

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It's great. But passive aggressive politeness is, for example,

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when someone makes themselves feel better by doing something polite,

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but it's kind of got an undertone.

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So, have you ever been in a long corridor?

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Actually, it happened here. There are long corridors here.

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Where somebody opens the door for you, but it's miles away,

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so you have to pick up your pace,

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and you've got bags and stuff and like a coat with you,

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so you have to run down the corridor so that you're not keeping them from

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-holding the door too long.

-Yeah, I hate that.

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I didn't ask you to hold the door open for me.

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Don't make out like I've put you out!

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You've decided to be a doorman for the day.

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The other one which particularly upsets me is, you're on a bus

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and someone's sat on the outside seat, so the seat near the aisle,

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not the one next to the window.

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And you get on and they don't budge up to the window seat.

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They make you climb.

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They kind of lean like this, they go like this.

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And they make you budge into the gap.

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And then they go, "You're welcome," kind of thing.

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You haven't helped me in the slightest!

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Don't pat yourself on the back for being a good person!

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You've done that...

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I mean, the door thing, I hold doors open for people,

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but you've got to judge your distance.

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Very much. Otherwise, it is a move of aggression.

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I've had people just give up on me.

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If I open the door and I don't..

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I won't hurry.

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And they've just given up. They look over your shoulder like

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they were holding it for someone else who's now gone,

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and they just leave it. I never accelerate, let them wait.

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Having said that, if I hold a door open for someone,

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I want a thank you.

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And these flats I lived in,

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I was getting in quite late and I held the door open for a bloke.

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And the thing I always say, if they don't say anything is,

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"Don't mention it. Oh, you didn't."

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-I always say that.

-That's so pass agg though.

-Yeah.

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And this guy said to me, "It's one o'clock in the morning."

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And I said, "Sorry, what are the opening hours for politeness?"

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It's like if you're in the car and you let someone out,

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you want something back.

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You've stopped, you're going, "Go on,"

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and they just drive past. I will go, "Oh, thank you!

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"No, thanks! Cheers!"

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I thought you were going to say, "I will follow them home

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-"and I'll walk in front of them."

-Yeah!

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Follow them. Tailgate them all the way to where they live.

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I have a friend who calls it out.

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You know, the people that push onto the train before people

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have come off. And she just stands at the door and goes,

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"Off before on!"

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No-one's asked her to do it.

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-That's brilliant!

-Wow.

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And it does have quite an impact.

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-It does.

-Yeah, she's the only one in the cabin.

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It's ideal. She always gets a seat.

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Una, I imagine you're a phenomenally polite person.

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-Is that...?

-No.

-You're not?

-No.

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-Oh, OK.

-Like, for instance, with the car business

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and sometimes they go, "Boop, boop, boop, boop,"

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because you're not hurrying or something when you're

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crossing the road, and I always go, "Legs before wheels!"

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It's true!

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Is that the chronology of getting older?

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I've never heard of this before,

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but it's people using the names of their Wi-Fi networks

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to be passive aggressive.

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-Right.

-So...

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This is so your neighbours will pick up your Wi-Fi network.

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-This is genius.

-And then, actually, an exchange between two neighbours,

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this one.

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"Stop stealing my newspaper,"

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and the response - fabulous.

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"For your information, I don't read it, I just throw away!"

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I'm so into that.

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You may have guessed, Bill...

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-What?

-I'm not going to put taramasalata.

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AUDIENCE BOO

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What would I live on?!

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Hummus!

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People who talk too loudly...

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Again, it is a pain, but I love to eavesdrop on a train.

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And I know it's not my business that Dave in sales lost 7K on the

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Zanussi deal, but I still like the idea that I'm hearing it.

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It's exciting. The passive aggressive polite...

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I think politeness is such an important thing

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and I don't want it impaired or spoilt in any way,

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so I'm going to put passive aggressive politeness into Room 101.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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So, what's making Una unhappy?

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APPLAUSE

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Moths.

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I mean, what are they for?

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I had a lovely, woolly dressing gown once,

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and I hung it up for the summer season.

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And when I went to it in the winter season, there was a hole -

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I don't exaggerate - that big.

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I mean, un-mendable.

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And you never see moths flying around with great big bellies.

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What do they do with the wool that they've eaten?

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You never see moth poo.

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-No.

-What are they doing with all this wool?

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What actually eats the material is,

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they lay their eggs and the eggs use the cloth as nutrition,

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and so it's the growing babies that...

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But the hole was that big!

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You know, it's quite a community there.

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Do you think moths are making their own clothes?

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You know, secretly?

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They go for the posh wool.

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They do, yeah. They love the nice stuff.

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They leave all the taramasalata of the clothed world.

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They leave all of that and they go for the nice stuff.

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Well, that's resentment,

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because, like, butterflies always look fantastic,

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whereas moths have got that sort of North Korea type of feel.

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I can show you an example, this is brought from my house.

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I have a moth trap, and, if you look at that,

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it looks like there's been some sort of terrible germ warfare

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happened in the Louvre.

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Or like somebody's done a graph, but using dead moths.

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-This is about a month's worth of collection in my bedroom.

-Really?

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Yes, so I get quite a lot.

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-I found the solution.

-Ah.

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Lavender bags.

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What? Hit them with a lavender bag?

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Squeeze the lavender bag.

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Every time you open the drawer and then with the sweater,

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just squeeze them and the smell.

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-They don't like the smell.

-I did that, but I got rid of the moths,

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but when I got in my room it's full of pensioners.

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Which...

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APPLAUSE

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..at my age, is not a bad thing.

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Moths are amazing. No, I'm sticking up for moths, I'm afraid.

0:17:130:17:16

-Really?

-Are you?

-Moths are amazing creatures!

0:17:160:17:18

There's more species of moth than butterfly.

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They're incredibly diverse, you can't say they're dull and brown.

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What about the Emperor Hawk-moth? Come on!

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-CHEERING

-Yes! They're beautiful.

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-Very pretty.

-Stunning example.

-Everyone's like, "Yeah! I don't really know..."

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Just stunning pinks and browns, they're beautiful things.

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Fascinating creatures!

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And they're nocturnal. Like, I'm nocturnal.

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So I associate with moths.

0:17:380:17:41

You didn't consider wearing the dressing gown with the hole?

0:17:420:17:45

No, it was huge and it was in a funny place.

0:17:470:17:50

So, what is upsetting Bill Bailey?

0:17:530:17:54

I find this a kind of torture.

0:18:060:18:10

And when I say trying on clothes, I don't mean at home,

0:18:100:18:13

in the comfort of your home. I mean going to a shop,

0:18:130:18:16

and trying to pick clothes out, going into a booth,

0:18:160:18:20

and trying them on.

0:18:200:18:21

It's just some form of hell.

0:18:210:18:24

Because you get in and the clothes are stiff and unyielding.

0:18:240:18:29

You get in the booth, I feel already claustrophobic.

0:18:290:18:34

I'm getting a bit of a sweat on just thinking about it now.

0:18:340:18:36

White wall, a mirror, yourself looking, staring at you.

0:18:360:18:41

And what usually happens with me is, take your jeans off,

0:18:410:18:44

all the change fell out of my jeans pocket.

0:18:440:18:46

And rolled under the door of the changing room,

0:18:480:18:52

-out into the shop! It's in the shop now!

-Oh, no.

0:18:520:18:55

Like, about four and half quid's worth of change

0:18:550:18:57

is loose in the public domain.

0:18:570:19:00

And then, the most horrible, when people go around and they go,

0:19:000:19:04

"Are you all right in there?"

0:19:040:19:06

Like, they think's something's gone wrong.

0:19:060:19:08

And then, "Oh, there's money here!"

0:19:080:19:10

And then I was just scrambling around on the floor,

0:19:100:19:13

in my underpants, getting people passing money under the door.

0:19:130:19:18

I just thought...

0:19:220:19:24

"This is no way to live!"

0:19:240:19:25

I often, I'm with my girlfriend,

0:19:270:19:30

so she's trying on stuff and I'm hanging around outside,

0:19:300:19:33

which I don't like.

0:19:330:19:34

I always find they look at you, the assistants, as if,

0:19:340:19:37

are you waiting for someone or are you an opportunist?

0:19:370:19:41

Just hoping the curtain might not be properly drawn or something.

0:19:410:19:45

And I feel really... I have to sit looking at the floor.

0:19:450:19:49

This idea, though, of being in a closed space trying to

0:19:490:19:52

put on clothes, it's always awkward, there's never enough room.

0:19:520:19:55

I just find... And then that little shame thing

0:19:550:19:58

where they give you a little disc, some plastic disc.

0:19:580:20:01

"There, take that, because you look like you might steal it."

0:20:010:20:04

But when I go into a cubicle and step out,

0:20:060:20:10

I cannot resist going, "Ta-da!"

0:20:100:20:13

I do that in public toilets.

0:20:140:20:16

So there is an element of performance for me.

0:20:180:20:22

Well, there is, maybe.

0:20:220:20:23

But it's shame, I feel.

0:20:230:20:25

Because I've chosen these trousers and then when they go,

0:20:250:20:28

"Everything all right?" "Yes!"

0:20:280:20:30

"Do you need any help?" "No! No, I'm fine."

0:20:300:20:32

What I want to say is, "No, everything's not all right."

0:20:320:20:35

This is a squalid indignity that I'm putting myself through.

0:20:350:20:39

And when they bring that extra size, and they shout it out.

0:20:390:20:42

"Who are these for?! We got these out!"

0:20:420:20:44

-You're like, "Sh, don't have to tell the world!

-Yeah.

0:20:440:20:47

"Too small? Were they too small?!"

0:20:470:20:49

"For the girl that let herself go over Christmas!"

0:20:520:20:54

Yeah, thank you...!

0:20:540:20:56

I don't like the mirror at the end of...

0:20:560:20:58

You know, if it is the separate cubicles,

0:20:580:21:00

where you're supposed to come out and look at the big mirror.

0:21:000:21:02

There's already a mirror in your little room,

0:21:020:21:04

you don't need to come out to the public mirror

0:21:040:21:06

to do a kind of catwalk. I have my own little private space.

0:21:060:21:09

And there's one of that, a bit of that on the mirror.

0:21:090:21:12

Oh, yeah, always distorted, like a fairground mirror.

0:21:120:21:14

So you're like, "Why are my ankles now the same width as my head?"

0:21:140:21:18

That's weird.

0:21:180:21:19

That's mean.

0:21:190:21:21

Somebody putting fairground mirrors in changing rooms!

0:21:210:21:24

-Yeah, or are they?

-Or are they?

0:21:240:21:26

But can I share, this is a changing room that you don't have to step

0:21:280:21:32

out of to show the person with you what you're wearing,

0:21:320:21:36

which I think is a brilliant idea.

0:21:360:21:37

You put your clothing on... So a woman's gone in, this is

0:21:370:21:41

her partner sitting there.

0:21:410:21:43

And then she presses a button, he can see.

0:21:430:21:47

OK.

0:21:470:21:48

OK. So you don't have to step out.

0:21:490:21:52

Isn't that a great idea?

0:21:520:21:53

It feels a bit like she's not allowed out

0:21:530:21:56

until she finds the right one.

0:21:560:21:57

You know, that... See, that is already making me

0:22:000:22:03

slightly palpitate with the fear of what might happen

0:22:030:22:06

if that malfunctioned, you know?

0:22:060:22:08

It un-frosts and you're...

0:22:110:22:13

Stop it!

0:22:170:22:19

-That would be horrible!

-APPLAUSE

0:22:190:22:21

That's just made it 100 times worse!

0:22:210:22:23

OK, what's winding up Alice?

0:22:260:22:29

So, it's drama cliches.

0:22:320:22:35

There are quite a lot of drama cliches.

0:22:350:22:37

So, I won't list them all,

0:22:370:22:39

but one in particular that kind of grinds my gears is

0:22:390:22:44

really bad exposition.

0:22:440:22:47

So that's that bit where, in TV or in film,

0:22:470:22:49

they give the audience the background that they need

0:22:490:22:52

to understand the rest of the story. They don't have time

0:22:520:22:55

to actually act it out, so they just do a bit of explaining.

0:22:550:22:57

So they do lots of this in cop dramas or medical dramas.

0:22:570:23:02

Medical dramas are good, because it's usually a doctor explaining

0:23:020:23:05

to another doctor something they already know.

0:23:050:23:07

So they'll be like, "Don't forget, if we pull the heart out,

0:23:070:23:09

"they're going to die!"

0:23:090:23:11

When it's bad, it's really bad. It's really patronising.

0:23:110:23:14

-It is patronising.

-Isn't it patronising, Una?

0:23:140:23:16

Furious about it!

0:23:160:23:18

I shout at the television, "Cut!"

0:23:180:23:20

It's usually about the time, isn't it?

0:23:220:23:24

They think, "Let's move this along."

0:23:240:23:26

We want people to get what's happening pretty...

0:23:260:23:30

"Hey, so how was your day at the hospital

0:23:300:23:33

"where you work as an orthopaedic surgeon for the last ten years?"

0:23:330:23:37

"Well, it was great! It was great, thanks.

0:23:370:23:39

"But I'm having a few problems with the affair I'm having with

0:23:390:23:43

"Dr Mitchell, who lives at 42.

0:23:430:23:45

"Oh, that affair which has been going on for several years."

0:23:450:23:48

It's like, you wouldn't say that! That is not your small talk!

0:23:480:23:50

Nobody talks like that.

0:23:500:23:51

But the worst for it, the absolute worst for it,

0:23:510:23:54

is every single James Bond film.

0:23:540:23:56

So there's that bit, which we all know, where James Bond's

0:23:560:24:00

had a lovely time, probably had a little snog with a lady.

0:24:000:24:04

And then, oh, he's got captured, what a wally!

0:24:040:24:07

Jim, what you playing at?

0:24:070:24:08

So then he's usually about to be killed by the baddie,

0:24:080:24:11

and the baddie's like, "Just before I kill you...

0:24:110:24:14

"I'm just going to let you know the entirety of my plan

0:24:140:24:17

"for taking over the world.

0:24:170:24:18

"Kind of pointless, because obviously I'm about to kill you,

0:24:180:24:21

"but I just want to get it off my chest.

0:24:210:24:23

"It's kind of cathartic for me. So here's what I'm going to do..."

0:24:230:24:26

And then they tell him everything.

0:24:260:24:27

And then obviously he escapes. But that's for us, isn't it?

0:24:270:24:30

That's so we know what he has to discover,

0:24:300:24:32

or what he has to get over.

0:24:320:24:33

I always think once they tell him, they're going to say,

0:24:330:24:35

"Maybe I won't wait for the egg timer to strike the match

0:24:350:24:38

"that burns the string that causes...

0:24:380:24:40

"I'll just shoot you in the face."

0:24:400:24:42

I always think that a thing that they're not very good at in drama,

0:24:420:24:47

especially in like soap operas, is telling lies.

0:24:470:24:50

Because I think most people are brilliant at telling lies.

0:24:500:24:53

But in soap operas, they say, "Have you seen Steve recently?"

0:24:530:24:57

-Yes!

-"Erm, no, no, no, I haven't seen...

0:24:580:25:01

"I haven't seen him for ages, actually!" "Oh, I just wondered."

0:25:010:25:04

Whereas in normal life - I know we've all had affairs...

0:25:040:25:07

..people are brilliant liars...

0:25:090:25:10

-Yeah!

-.. in fact.

-It's like the hug one.

0:25:100:25:13

You know, when they hug in a drama,

0:25:130:25:14

and one of them's evil and one of them's good.

0:25:140:25:17

And then the bad one's always like this...

0:25:170:25:19

-Yeah.

-If you're evil, do you just constantly do evil looks

0:25:210:25:24

up to like...? It's usually top, top right.

0:25:240:25:27

I tell you, there's a thing in EastEnders I love.

0:25:290:25:31

If someone who runs one of the market stalls

0:25:310:25:34

has got something important to do, they'll just say,

0:25:340:25:37

"Paul, can you look after my stall for a bit?"

0:25:370:25:40

And they say, "Well, I don't... What's the pricing system?

0:25:400:25:44

"I've got no retail experience".

0:25:440:25:46

They just give them, like, they just give them a leather pouch...

0:25:460:25:49

-Yeah.

-..with money in, and they say, "Yeah, sure", and off they go.

0:25:490:25:52

As long as you've got a bum bag, you'll be fine.

0:25:520:25:54

-Yeah.

-You don't need to know.

-Come back and you're bankrupt.

0:25:540:25:57

I hate it. I hate it in films and particularly dramas,

0:25:570:26:00

where people say, you know, "We need to meet",

0:26:000:26:03

and they go, "Where?"

0:26:030:26:05

And they... They immediately know the exact location.

0:26:050:26:08

"Where shall we meet?" "Corner of La Jolla, sunset, one hour.

0:26:080:26:12

"Come alone." Right, how can you think that fast?

0:26:120:26:14

I can't think that fast.

0:26:140:26:16

If I say to you, "I'll meet you in an hour, erm, but I don't know...

0:26:160:26:19

"behind Marks & Spencer's... Erm...

0:26:190:26:23

"Opposite the cashpoint, where the launderette used to be.

0:26:230:26:26

"I don't know!"

0:26:260:26:28

The chase, obviously, is the cliche.

0:26:280:26:30

Usually, like, through streets and often hitting a fruit stall.

0:26:300:26:35

Often, sometimes, a fruit stall that only sells pomegranates.

0:26:350:26:39

Are there any such stores?

0:26:390:26:40

We've got an example of a chase with a...something I've never seen.

0:26:400:26:45

I think this is, even though a chase is a cliche,

0:26:450:26:48

this is an original thing, for me.

0:26:480:26:50

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

0:26:560:26:57

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

0:27:000:27:02

That's brilliant!

0:27:140:27:15

That's some serious horse skills, that is.

0:27:150:27:18

Do you think they dragged it through on a cable?

0:27:180:27:21

I'd like to think it was... You know when mechanics go under your car

0:27:210:27:25

on those sliding...? I like to think the horse was on one of those.

0:27:250:27:29

OK, so, the drama cliches,

0:27:290:27:32

it is poor and I suppose lazy writing,

0:27:320:27:35

but I so love recognising and spotting them...

0:27:350:27:39

that I don't want to, I don't want to get rid of them.

0:27:390:27:41

The amount of films I've seen saved by a horse slide...

0:27:410:27:45

And I was all set to put moths in, because moths have ruined clothes

0:27:470:27:51

of mine, and you argued it...

0:27:510:27:53

But I love trying on clothes,

0:27:530:27:55

but Bill has argued with such darkness and passion

0:27:550:28:00

and genuine fervour that I am going to put trying on clothes

0:28:000:28:03

-into Room 101.

-Yeah!

0:28:030:28:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:050:28:07

That brings us to the end of the show and well done, Alice,

0:28:180:28:22

you were the most persuasive guest so you are this week's winner.

0:28:220:28:24

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:240:28:26

Thanks very much to Bill Bailey, Una Stubbs and Alice Levine,

0:28:280:28:32

and thank you, goodnight.

0:28:320:28:35

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