Episode 7 Russell Howard's Good News Extra

This programme contains some strong language.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much.

Hello!

Hello and welcome to Good News.

So what have we learnt this week?

Well, this woman revealed the dullest hobby ever.

I used to keep a list in my bag of towns beginning with Y

because there weren't many!

Anyway...

LAUGHTER

If you're going on telly,

make sure you know what you're going to say.

Constitutional change could go through without any basic...

erm, voting, erm...

Basing on the...

I'm sorry...

LAUGHTER

Did anyone else hear that bloke get his cock out mid-interview?

We're not royalists.

ZIP!

Simple.

What an incredible week of news. First up, you couldn't have missed this -

The Duke and Duchess show their love to each other and the world.

Married in Westminster Abbey, with friends,

family and dignitaries from across the globe.

It was a wonderful day.

Two people in love, the sun was shining, we got a day off.

As ever, the British public were very reserved.

Oh, look at William looking at her. Look.

It's magical. It is absolutely magical!

I wouldn't be anywhere else.

It's beautiful!

I am speechless.

CHEERING

Aaaah!

Kate, William!

I love that. One minute she's speechless, next minute,

"Aaaahhhhhhhh!"

They weren't the only ones. The crowd was full of brilliant nutters.

I made this costume all myself.

With UHU glue.

LAUGHTER

It wasn't just the public,

even the police got into the party spirit.

CROWD CHEERS

CROWD CHEERS

CROWD CHEERS

Mind you, it wasn't hard to get them going,

the crowd cheered anything from the weather to a road sweeper.

There's a 10% chance of a shower during the service itself...

CHEERING

CHEERING

CHEERING

-LAUGHTER

-"Waaaaay!

"It's like a car AND a Hoover."

For many people...

A few of you - "It is actually, it's very good."

..For many people, the iconic image of the wedding was this...

'Lots of shouts from the crowd here.

'And that's the reward.'

Come on, the iconic wedding image was this little girl.

"I can't believe I put glue on my hands."

Did you watch the service?

When the priest asked if anyone objected to the wedding,

did anyone else go, "Yeah!

"He's really punching above his weight"?

I love how many times they kept saying, "Kate arrived a commoner and left a princess."

Commoner? She's hardly Vicky Pollard.

"Sorry I'm late, Wills, I was shoplifting down Primark."

LAUGHTER

The best bit was when William said,

"I take Kate to be my wife for richer and poorer."

You could hear the entire nation going, "Poorer? Bollocks!"

Just before the ceremony, Harry took Wills off for a private word.

I bet you money he said, "Listen, Wills, I know it's your big day

"but I'm definitely going to have a pop at Kate's sister."

Who could blame him? She is extraordinary.

MUSIC: "Foxy Lady" by Jimi Hendrix.

# Foxy

# You got to be all mine

# All mine

# Foxy lady. #

I think I speak for the nation when I say she is a BMILF -

a bridesmaid I'd love to Facebook.

LAUGHTER

Talking of Facebook, within minutes, this page was created...

The Pippa Middleton Arse Appreciation Society.

I wonder who set that up?

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

Back to the wedding.

Did anyone else notice

the Queen didn't join in with the National Anthem?

I reckon it's cos she's so bored of it.

She's probably there going, "Oh!

"If I had a pound for every time they played that song...

"Oh, I do!

"Nice one!"

I'll bet she makes up lyrics in her head.

-TO TUNE OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM:

-# I'm missing Bargain Hunt

# What shall I have for lunch

# Maybe some chips

# Doo-doo-doo

# Who would I rather be?

# SpongeBob or Mr. T?

# I want a butler space monkey

# Cos I'm the Queen. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

I know for a fact the Queen's really into her music.

Listen to what she was playing on the way to the service.

MUSIC: "Ridin'" By Chamillionaire

I couldn't take my eyes off the Queen. Did you see what she wore?

I was looking, going, "Where have I seen that before?"

Then it hit me!

LAUGHTER

"Smokin'!"

The big fashion story was definitely Kate's dress.

What will the bride be wearing and who has designed it?

All they want to know is what dress will she wear?

It really will be one of the biggest fashion moments of all time.

My brother lost 50 quid after he bet on Kate wearing this.

LAUGHTER

The oddest fashion choice had to go to Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

Surely, if you've had to get a new nose because your old one

was destroyed by drugs, don't wear a hat that points to it!

LAUGHTER

It's like getting herpes and wearing this.

Mind you, the hat was nothing compared to her sister.

She has the poshest name ever.

"That is her sister, Santa Sebag Montefiore.

"Santa Sebag Montefiore."

Santa Sebag Montefiore?!

Sounds like something this guy shouts when he comes!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Everywhere you looked people were wearing medals. David Beckham was there looking great,

wearing his OBE.

His medal there that he's got. But apparently, we're being informed,

he is wearing it on the wrong side.

Imagine someone telling him, "Dave, it's on the wrong side."

"Oh, right!"

LAUGHTER

"Victoria, look, it's that bloke from The Mask!"

"Smokin'!"

LAUGHTER

Do you know the wedding was the biggest television event of all time?

Did you see how many people watched it?

It's thought up to two billion people around the world watched them

today exchange their vows.

Most of you probably watched it on the Beeb,

which is a shame cos you missed out on the in-depth knowledge

of Euronews.

Listen to how they describe the fly-past over Buckingham Palace.

All I can tell you is that that's a big plane.

It's got two little planes either side of it.

LAUGHTER

That is genius! It's great, isn't it?

Mind you, that was nothing compared to the moment

Chris Hollins was accidentally racist.

-Have we had a super day today?

-Had a great day, thank you!

-Fantastic!

-Are you going home?

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

So that's it for the Royal Wedding. Congratulations to Kate and Will.

People were saying it's the best wedding ever.

Oh, come on! It was good. It'll never beat this.

The rings, please.

Oh, my God!

The other major international news was this.

Fox News is just reporting that Bin Laden, Osama Bin Laden, is dead.

Did you see how the papers covered it?

The Times went with,

The Express had,

And what did The Sun go with?

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Bin Bagged!

The American reaction to Bin Laden's death was fairly muted.

You kill innocent American people, you're going to pay the price.

USA! USA! USA!

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Happy days!

LAUGHTER

Did you see how they got rid of Bin Laden's body?

We can now confirm that about an hour and a half ago, John,

Osama Bin Laden was buried at sea.

I love that description. "Buried."

I think the verb they're searching for is "flung"!

"We found you, now you find Nemo!"

LAUGHTER

The bizarrest thing about this story, do you know

the anagram you can make out of Osama Bin Laden?

Look at this. Osama Bin Laden...

Lob Da Man In Sea!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Bin Laden's death sent the American networks into overload.

Now, here's a tip,

if you're reporting on one of the biggest stories of the year,

make sure you know who killed who.

President Obama is in fact dead!

LAUGHTER

Well, he isn't, is he?

The timing of this couldn't have been better for Obama.

All week, he'd been dealing with this.

President Obama has released a full copy of his birth certificate

to counter claims that he wasn't born in America.

Right-wing extremists believed that Obama shouldn't be President

because he wasn't born in America.

I love the fact that a load of red necks believe the Bible,

but they don't believe Obama's American!

IN AMERICAN ACCENT: "I believe Jesus turned water into wine.

"I believe a virgin gave birth to God's child,

"but a black man born in America, that just don't make no sense."

Wouldn't it be great if Obama went, "My birth certificate? Yeah, yeah.

"It's here, it's just in my... TROUSERS!"

It's pretty unfair. Nobody asked to see George Bush's birth certificate.

In fairness, his mum was pretty busy.

"I'll... I'll call back later, Mrs Bush, you look busy.

"I'll... I'll call back later."

Obama may have killed Bin Laden and revealed his birth certificate,

but for an old friend of the show,

it still wasn't enough. Remember this guy?

Mr Long-legged Mack Daddy...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's the preacher who hates Obama. He was back in the news.

Have a listen to where he reckons

the President got his birth certificate.

That fake birth certificate that Obama put,

he bought it from down there in Mexico,

and put it on his website. He bought it from Mexico.

Now, all the Mexicans are saying, "Yay. Amen,"

and whatever else it is they say...in Mexico.

My favourite part of the whole birth certificate business

was the joke the President told

at the White House Correspondents' dinner.

Check this out. It's brilliant.

Tonight, for the first time, I am releasing my official birth video.

That is a good gag!

"Hakuna ma fuckin' tata!

"I'm Barack Obama."

So what else has been happening?

Have you seen the latest international crime fighter?

He's dressed head-to-toe in black. He's a self-styled ninja warrior.

He says he wants to bring hope to ordinary citizens.

Pretty impressive.

Where does this all powerful ninja operate? New York? Tokyo?

Tunbridge Wells?! What crime does he deal with there?

"Somebody help! A lady has served red wine with fish!"

It is so tragic, isn't it?

"I am the Tunbridge Wells ninja!"

"Dad! Why are you wearing pyjamas?"

"Who is Dad? I am ninja."

"Dad, your cock's hanging out."

What has he been up to? Sword fighting, throwing a death star?

He helped rescue his friend's cat from a tree.

He rescued a cat and now he's a ninja. Look what else he does.

Then he carried on doing other good deeds like helping old ladies cross the road.

What a ninja!

Helping old ladies across the road.

"Only go when the light is green. Never fear, old lady, I am a ninja!"

"Oh, right, you look like a twat in pyjamas!"

"And your cock's hanging out."

He's hardly helping.

How scary for an old lady - a bloke dressed in black saying,

"I'm taking you to the other side."

"Oh, shit! Is it my time to die?"

"I never thought death would have his cock out!"

I am sure he's very good,

but you hear Tunbridge ninja, you don't picture this...

You picture this...

This next story is brilliant.

Over in Australia, a member of the navy has made the news after

getting hammered whilst working in America.

This amateur video of a drunk Australian submariner being

restrained by US guards is the latest in a string of embarrassing

scandals for the Australian Defence Force.

He was wasted. They had to handcuff him to a stretcher.

The reason I love this story

is because of the action the Australian Navy took.

The intoxicated sailor has since been promoted...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Just unbelievable.

A farmer has come up with an unusual way to protect his flock.

How do you prevent your sheep from being stolen?

According to one farmer on Dartmoor, you do this - you dye them orange.

Orange things don't get stolen? Well, this guy is safe from kidnap!

Orange sheep would freak you out.

Imagine cutting through that field on the way home from the pub.

"Dave, the pumpkins are following me!"

"Dave?

"Is that a bloke in his pyjamas?"

"Dave, I think his cock's hanging out!"

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

On the plus side,

if all farmers start dyeing sheep orange, it will catch out perverts.

-Hello, love. Good day tending the sheep?

-It was all right. It was quite quiet.

-What have you done?

-What?!

Unbelievably, that isn't the strangest animal story of the week.

Nobody saw this affair coming.

They say love comes in all shapes and sizes.

An eight-year-old swan named Swanny

has developed a strange infatuation with a blue tractor.

Apparently a swan is in love with a tractor.

I bet the other swans think he's a right pervert.

They're in the lake kissing, he's in his room with a load of tissues watching Top Gear.

"Pop her bonnet!"

That's probably the worst impression of a swan ever!

The love between a swan and a tractor can only end one way.

MUSIC: "Je t'aime"

This is the part of the show I don't know anything about.

A mystery guest who has been in the news

and I have to figure out who that person is.

Please, welcome my mystery guest!

APPLAUSE

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

AUDIENCE WOLF-WHISTLES

-Was that the first time you've been on telly?

-No.

-You got a wolf whistle! Can I look underneath your curtains?

-No!

Not the first lady who's refused that.

-Something to do with bric-a-brac? Collecting things?

-No.

-Do you work with children?

-I do.

-You work with children.

And what's...

-The medals are something to do with it.

-Something to do with medals.

-Have you competed?

-Yes.

-Against children?

-No.

-My day job is working with children.

-Your day job is working with kids.

-But by night...

-Something different.

-Are you an athlete?

-Yes.

-Excellent.

-What do you do?

-I'm 15 times British Champion in...

-Have you guessed yet?

-Arm wrestling!

-Yeah.

APPLAUSE

Come on then.

Have you ever arm wrestled before?

I just know I'm going to get beaten up yet again.

The imagination of my production team!

-I'll show you a few techniques.

-Just punch me in the face.

It's all people want to see. Just deck me.

-I'll show you a few techniques.

-Yeah.

We stand up.

You hold your peg. There we go. The first technique...

-You smell lovely!

-Thank you.

Ah! Yes!

I'll give you that one.

A top roll. A little technique.

With this part of your hand, you need to open my fingers, so I'm like this.

-OK.

-Then you drag me down to the back. Nice and easy. Like this.

Want to practise?

Right. Use your body weight a bit more.

So drag your body...

That's better. All right. Next one is called a hook.

-The strongest person normally wins this one.

-It'll be you!

You hook both wrists in and drag back.

LAUGHTER

-I'm really trying. Ready?

-Yeah.

SHE SNIGGERS

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

-Can you improvise?

-I've shown you a few things...

Commence with the beating. OK.

Choose one in your head.

-Ready? Three, two, one.

-Ow.

-No, you're letting me win. Don't let me win!

-I'm not.

I feel like a child!

"You can eat from the adult menu." Let me eat my own food.

AUDIENCE: Come on, Russ!

APPLAUSE

All right. For the last one, I do...

I'll show you how we do it in a professional competition.

Wow, I can already feel it! Damn!

-You give me a go.

-I'll give you a go!

Go!

Let's have a chat. That's easier.

-Have you got a boyfriend?

-Yes.

I don't want to get base...

But...there are certain things that a man and lady can do.

-That women can do better.

-He must be terrified when you do it!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-I'm talking of course about pancake flipping!

-Of course!

Which is a different thing to call it. How did you start this?

-Can you beat your dad?

-My dad was the British Heavyweight Champion.

He built me a table when I was little.

When I was seven,

I entered a sub-junior competition and beat about six boys.

-Wow! How old were they?

-They were between six and nine.

-Excellent.

Then when I was 11, I entered the British Championships and won it.

-From then on, won it.

-Fantastic. It is lovely to meet you. Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Please, give it up for my mystery guest.

Have you seen the latest way some teenagers are tackling exams?

It's a pill called a "smart" drug.

Apparently, it makes you more intelligent.

Some swear they're the secret to maximising memory power,

to aid exams, to boost concentration

and to help stay alert for hours at a time.

These are smart drugs

and a recent survey said one in ten students were taking them.

Kids are taking smart drugs? Who is their dealer? This guy?

If I was still at school,

just before an exam, I would offer my mate some smart pills

and instead I'd give them Viagra.

Wouldn't that be fantastic? They're trying to do algebra with a massive rod on!

"My God, these kids really love maths!"

I'm not going to use these smart pills. Why?

Because I'd leave them lying around and my dog would eat them and that would freak me out!

"Greetings, Russell." "All right?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Did you know all polar bears are left-handed

"and there are no cats in the Bible?"

"In other news, I've done a shit in your shoes."

As ever, the papers are shrieking, "This is terrible!

"All children are taking them!"

Calm down! Not all teenagers are taking smart pills as these exam answers prove.

"Briefly explain what hard water is."

"Ice."

"Explain the shape of the graph."

"It's curvy."

My personal favourite...

"Can a man still reproduce with only one testicle?"

"No, girls don't find that shit attractive."

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Time for my final story.

It's an inspirational story about a father and his son who compete in

marathons and triathlons across America.

This is where they go to prove their mettle.

Endurance races from around New England.

Ready to take on an Olympic distance triathlon.

Those who finish will swim a mile, bike 24 and run six more.

I want to welcome everyone.

But one man has a tougher challenge than the rest.

It's not because he's one of the oldest guys here.

It's because Dick Hoyt will pull, pedal and push his son Rick

who was born without the ability to move or speak.

Dick and Rick have completed over 240 triathlons

and, on their lazier Sunday afternoons, over 68 marathons,

the fastest in a time just half an hour off the world record.

I don't have the desire to be out there running by myself.

It is something that comes from his body to my body.

It makes us go faster.

Are you trying to say that you run faster pushing Rick

than if you didn't run with him?

Oh, yeah. He inspires me and he motivates me.

He is the athlete and he is very competitive. He wants to win.

'I have shown to disabled people

'that they don't have to sit back and watch the world go by.'

There you go.

APPLAUSE

So! It's Saturday night, which means it's time for my stand-up guest.

He's wonderful, I've gigged with him many times.

He's a co-host on Frank Skinner's Absolute Radio shows.

Ladies and gentlemen, please go wild and crazy for Gareth Richards!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello!

AUDIENCE: Hello.

How are you doing? Are you having a nice evening?

CHEERING

Excellent. My name is Gareth. Say hello, Gareth.

AUDIENCE: Hello, Gareth.

Hello, everybody.

I've been doing some research recently and Gareth is an ancient Welsh name

that means man with shit name.

Thank you for coming.

I'm going to put that over there.

Um, I've come from Bournemouth to be here today.

LOUD CHEERING

Is there anyone in from Bournemouth?

I live in Bournemouth with my wife. I'm married. Give me a cheer if you're married.

WEAK CHEERING

Give me a cheer if you're single.

LOUD CHEERING

Much happier. Much, much happier.

I've been married eight years, so I married quite young.

People say, "Married young. Was she pregnant?"

I'm, like, "No...as it turned out."

Nasty shock and lovely surprise all at the same time.

I got the train here. Anyone been on the train recently?

CHEERING

It's good on the train now. They've got plug sockets.

Have you seen this, plug sockets on the train.

It's like living in the future.

How do they get electricity on the train?

Is there someone running about with an extension lead going...

"Get me another one!"

And by the plug socket, there's a sticker to give us some instructions.

Cos they know if they don't give us some instructions, we'll freak out.

It says, "Laptops and mobile phones only."

I'm, like, "Oh, and I've brought my ironing.

"When was I supposed to get this done?!"

Right you watch out for the man for me

and I'm going to try to get as much done before...

Sorry, this is still a bit damp. Do you mind if I plug my tumble drier in there?

I went to Wimbledon last year and this young guy came up to me

and he said, "I'm a ball boy."

I said, "I'm more of a breast man, myself."

Wooden spoons are handy because you can use wooden spoons to prepare food

or if you haven't got time, go into a pub

and say "Where's my dinner?

"I ordered hours ago."

So we're political people here on Russell Howard's Good News.

How do we feel about the coalition?

BOOING

That's the exact sound everyone makes all over the country.

That's the sound of our political opinions.

R-r-r-r-.

People thought the Conservatives were going to win easily in the last election.

I think they should have rebranded themselves more and they would have done better.

Cos they've had to do this sharing thing.

Some people called them the Conservatives.

Some people called them the Tories.

I think they should call themselves "The Conserva-tories."

Making the houses of Parliament more transparent.

APPLAUSE

One of the first things they said they were going to do was cut down on speed cameras.

Good for motorists, not so good for school children.

But then we do want to save money on education, so...

I live near my parents in Bournemouth.

Mums are lovely, but they are a bit embarrassing.

I think there's something that happens to a woman

when they have another human being burst out of them one day.

It just makes them lose all sense of what's normal and appropriate

in everyday life for the rest of their life.

The other day, my mum wanted to mime to me, Gareth, would you like a glass of wine?

This is the mime. She said, "Gareth would you like a..."

APPLAUSE

Mum, that is not the mime for would you like a drink?

Not much of a drink anyway.

There's reasons why people do comedy. Something needs to have gone wrong

to need this sort of attention.

One of these moments for me was I was ten years old and it was bath time.

My mum and my aunty were there.

This is as bad as it sounds like it's gong to be.

Social workers in the front row were worried.

I started to get changed.

I throw them a look as if to say, yeah, you can go now.

And my mum goes, "We can go now. He doesn't like me to see him get changed

"now he's growing up. He's shy of himself. Now he's getting older,

"We should give him his privacy, we should go."

They were still in the room when they had this next bit of the conversation.

This is in my mind for me to deal with for the rest of my life.

My mum says, "We should grow," and my aunt says, "Why? Has it grown?"

And my mum said, "No."

APPLAUSE

Part of me died right there and then.

Your parents worry about you and that's a lovely thing,

but every now and then they say something that betrays how much they worry about you.

The terrible things that go through their minds.

Every time my mum took a picture of me, she would say,

"Smile, Gareth, cos if you go missing tomorrow, this will have to be on the news."

Nobody's going to look for a miserable child.

Cheese!

I hated school all the way through.

We had communal showers. Did you have communal showers at your school?

No! No, they stopped doing it because it's very cruel.

When you're right on the brink of puberty, the most self-conscious you'll ever be about your body

and they make you shower in front of your whole class.

I'd like to shower with 12-year-olds now and see who the weirdo is.

My English teacher hated me at school. He was always, "Gareth, you'll never amount to anything.

"You'll never do anything with your life."

And I said to him, "Mark my words... That's your job."

I'm moody. I'm a bit melancholic.

Sometimes I feel alone in the universe like a tiny spec of nothing in an ocean of emptiness.

AUDIENCE: Aww!

Thank you.

And then I have a cup of tea and a KitKat and feel much better.

It's just low blood sugar.

That's all it was.

I thought I was deep. I was just peckish.

I was a morbid kid. I got into trouble for saying to my RE teacher,

"All right, if heaven's so brilliant,

"Why don't we all just kill ourselves and go there?"

If a ten-year-old boy said that to you, would that encourage you to take your own life?

No, she must have been on the brink anyway.

So I suppose the big news in my life is that two years ago, my wife and I had a little boy.

AUDIENCE: Aww!

Thank you.

He's a good one.

We're pleased with him.

You know when you get something new, you compare it to the ones other people have got?

Well, there's some freaky-looking babies out there,

but he's a good one. We're going to keep him definitely.

He's by far the best thing that's ever happened as a result of one of my bodily functions.

His name is Ethan Richards, not a bad name.

If we had a girl, I wanted to call her Adele after...you know, my laptop.

I realises I had a negative attitude about babies, about children.

I've been prejudiced against children is the truth of it.

People worry about things like asylum seekers and immigrants.

I don't worry about that. I think that's a lot of racist nonsense.

I think, "What about babies?"

They come here, they don't speak the language...

..start claiming benefits as soon as they get here.

They won't wear the same clothes or eat the same food. They have to have their own special shops.

Also we let as many of them in here as they want...

as soon as we try to get to where they came from, very strict border controls in that direction.

So I thought I'd end with a song.

How do you feel about that?

SPORADIC WHOOPING

They put a special bit of tape for me to know how low to put the mic stand.

If anyone's worried about whether the mic stand's high enough...

..'tis.

So, ladies and gentlemen, this...

is the omnichord.

AUDIENCE: Woo!

Yeah.

Omni means really, chord means brilliant.

I'm going to show you what this baby can do.

The omnichord is a three-pronged attack on music.

The first thing it does is the beat.

BEAT STARTS

The second thing it does is the chord sound.

CHORDS START

Eh?

There's one more thing this baby does.

Are you ready for this?

This metallic strip here makes a harp sound.

MELODY STARTS

Oh, yeah.

# My friend Dave is a little bit square

# Just like a fridge

# My friend Dave hasn't got any hair

# Just like a fridge

# Dave doesn't listen to what you say

# He likes to pretend that everything's OK

# And Dave keeps things the same way every day

# Just like a fridge

# Just like a fridge

# My friend Dave is white

# Just like a fridge

# Dave doesn't wash so he gently hums

# Just like a fridge

# His light comes on when you open the door

# You can only use Dave for what Dave is for

# And Dave at a party is a bit of a bore

# Just like a fridge

# Just like a fridge

# My friend Dave is cold inside

# Just like a fridge

# But he's warm if you touch him on the back

# Just like a fridge

# Dave's dad is called Eric and his mum is Joanne

# Whilst travelling in East Asia their romance began

# And that's how come Dave was made in Japan

# Just like a fridge

# Just like a fridge

# We thought that Dave would always be alone

# Just like a fridge

# Cos Dave is not very good at talking to girls

# Just like a fridge

# The he found someone to call his own

# We finally met her when he brought her home

# But she couldn't quite fit into the living room

# She was massive

# Just like a fridge

# Just like a fridge

# Just like a fridge. #

BEAT STOPS

CHEERING

Thank you very much. You've been lovely. I've been Gareth Richards. Goodbye.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Gareth Richards.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for watching Good News.

Have a fantastic Saturday night. Farewell.

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