Could Do Better Sorry!


Could Do Better

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Transcript


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-Here we are, then, Frank.

-Oh, Tim, you shouldn't.

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Well, a little spot of bubbly doesn't go amiss, does it, eh?

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Not every day you get married. Not every day that I'm the best man.

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We certainly know how to do things properly, do we Lumsdens.

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Let's face it, I am a wee Lumsden.

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Yeah, well, Champagne costs a fortune in here.

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-And it will be warm.

-No, no.

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I rang up Chris and asked him to put it on the ice.

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Mind you, the ice in this pub is a little bit on the warm side,

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I must admit.

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-Be careful.

-Don't worry. Look, when it comes to matters of style,

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Frank, I certainly happen to know what I'm doing.

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Good Lord, there's wire all round the top of this.

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Don't they trust the staff?

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-Oh, God! Give it to me.

-Leave it.

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-Don't shake it up.

-I was just going to say that.

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I'm all right. Honestly.

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-Oh!

-Argh!

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Oh, dear... Sorry about that.

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-Oh, that's lucky.

-What?

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Most of it went in your crash helmet.

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Oh! There we are. Cheers, anyway.

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Sorry about that. Seemed to be a bit lively, didn't it?

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-There we are.

-Cheers.

-To Frank and Jenny.

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-May all your troubles be little ones.

-Starting with you, you mean?!

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Sorry about that. Are you all right?

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Is there going to be a stag night, at all?

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This is it.

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Is it?

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I suppose it is. Get in there, Frank.

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Paint the town red, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

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Have a wassail, carouse until the early hours.

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I've got to be home with Mother in seven minutes,

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-so I won't have a lot to drink.

-Some stag night.

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Wow-wee(!)

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We've done some pretty wild things in our time, Frank.

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-Just think about it.

-Have we?

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When?

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Well, 1954.

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I put that banger in a bottle

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through old Ma Tillsbury's cat flap.

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So we did... Why didn't you light it?

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Well, I didn't want to frighten her, did I?

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Then, I put that dead worm in the Willis Avenue postbox.

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-Oh, you crazy, mixed-up kid(!)

-I suppose I am, really.

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Happy days.

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I shall be sorry... I shall be sorry to lose my old mate,

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I don't mind telling you.

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I'm not dying, I'm getting married.

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I've lost a lot of friends through marriage, Frank.

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I just ask you to spare a thought for those left behind.

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-Well, don't BE left behind, you 'nana.

-Well, who'd have me?

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Oh. Don't start that again. Plenty of girls, as you well know.

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I suppose you're right.

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I suppose I do have that certain something that no-one

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can quite put their finger on.

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Yes, well it's about time somebody did.

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What went wrong with that Linda girl?

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Eyebrows too close together. Mother always says...

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Oh, "Mother"! God, I knew it.

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Mother always says, "Eyebrows too close together,

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-"sure sign of the gold-digger."

-Gold-digger! What gold have you got?

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I've got the granny bond.

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My beer mat collection is priceless.

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Oh, there's always some idiotic reason. Eyebrows!

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What was wrong with Julie Flint? Her earlobes, wasn't it?

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You know the saying,

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"Small earlobes, sign of not a very nice person."

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No, I don't. Nor does anyone. Look, it's all excuses,

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-old wives' fiddle-faddle.

-Not too loud.

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It's the same old story.

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You decide to do something, then you find an excuse for not doing it.

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Dither, dither, dither.

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-I'm looking.

-Good.

-I do not dither.

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I am very, very decisive.

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-Goodbye, Frank. I am going home.

-Well done, Tim.

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Goodbye and don't forget to meet Liz, the bridesmaid.

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I remember the best man's duties, don't you worry.

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Did you see that, Chris? He decided to do something and he did it.

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What is this Liz like, by the by?

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Is she...?

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Quite sort of, you know...?

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Hmm,

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-OK, I suppose.

-What do you mean?

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Do you mean, Mmm, OK?

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Or Hmm-mm, OK?

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Or Mm, OK?

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-Mm, OK.

-Good enough for me.

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-Wait a minute. She's very much like you, in fact.

-Oh, good.

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-You think that's good?

-Well, we've got something in common.

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If she's very much like me and I'm, you know,

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fairly like me, then we're both rather like me.

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-PHONE RINGS

-There's your mother.

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-It may not be.

-Answer it, you ditherer.

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-Shall I? It might not be her.

-Oh, God.

-It's her.

-Ah, right.

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Well, that's the end of the party, then.

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No, Frank, no. Ditherer, you say? Just listen.

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Mother, be quiet, please. Be quiet. Yes?

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No, Mother, I'm staying here for my supper.

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Yes, I am NOT coming home for my supper. No, no.

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Anyway, I don't like the brawn, Mother,

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so I'm staying here, all right?

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Yes, goodbye, Mother. Goodbye.

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-Oh, my God, Tim, you did it!

-Yes!

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But I think I'd better go.

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-Oh, ye gods! I can't take much more of this.

-All right, I'll stay.

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-Do one thing or the other.

-Yes, I have made up my mind.

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-The brawn has got to be eaten - I'm going.

-Go, go!

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Do you know, Chris, if they held a competition to find

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the greatest ditherer in the whole world,

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Timothy Lumsden wouldn't win it.

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-He'd never be able to make up his mind to go.

-Frank, that is not fair.

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Oh!

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Hello-oh!

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-Hello!

-Ah, Timothy!

-Shh!

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Nobody talking to me?

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A-ha!

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# Hello, Muddah, hello, Faddah Hello, Muddah... #

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We don't want to see what you're eating, Timothy.

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And we know you can't sing. We've heard you on stage.

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Oh, thank you for that warm welcome. I shall...

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Good heavens, are those Christmas decorations? No, they're icicles.

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Your father and I have something that I wish to say to you.

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GERMAN ACCENT: I shall give you only my name, rank and number!

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Very funny, Humphrey Bogart.

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-Humphrey Bogart?

-Your father and I have something to take up with you.

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-This is not the moment, Mother, is it?

-What?

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When you tell me you're not my real parents.

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That I was, in fact, left on the front doorstep by the Archduke

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and I am the rightful King of Crovonia?

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I want you to know, Mother,

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but I have not got a heart-shaped birthmark on my thigh.

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But there is something further up in the middle, that looks

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very like a hamster going down its burrow!

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Try not to be disgusting, Timothy.

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I thought that was rather imaginative!

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-Be quiet. I gave your room a good clean out today.

-Oh, no.

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-We moved the wardrobe.

-Yes?

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-Behind the wardrobe, it was filthy.

-Yes.

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Dirt, broken ping-pong balls and this spoon.

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-So?

-When you hid this spoon, it was full of Radio Malt.

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No wonder you never grew.

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Mother, much as I like domestic archaeology, I'm going out,

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-I'm sorry.

-Stay where you are.

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To whom is this envelope addressed?

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-Mr and Mrs Bumsden.

-Lumsden! Us!

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That is a school report - autumn term, 1954, Form 5G.

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Oh, how interesting, Mother.

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You never showed us that report.

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You read it, saw it was disgusting and hid it.

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What have you got to say for yourself?

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-That was 30-odd years ago, Mother. I...

-Read it out, Sydney.

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-Read it out.

-Right-oh, Phyllis.

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"Attendance...something...

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"Punctuality, very..." I can't read this.

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"Bography..."

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Bography?!

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Geography!

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Give it to me. Look... "Could do better." "Could do better."

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-"Doesn't listen." "Inattentive."

-What, Mother?

-Ina...

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Aren't you listening to me?!

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-Sorry, Mother, I was just being inattentive.

-And what about this?

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B for biology, C for chemistry, E for French...

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-Shouldn't that be

-F

-for French?

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C, D, E, E-plus...

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I was very good at drama.

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Drama! "Dear Timothy's Ophelia was a rare and lovely jewel.

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"Evelyn W Crisp." Who's she?

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HE, Mother.

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Got thrown out later on, for...

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Housemaster's comments.

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"A poor term. He is 16.

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"Perhaps long trousers would help."

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-Stuff and nonsense!

-It's true, Mother!

-They used to tease me.

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E-minus. "This subject seems entirely above his head."

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What is it, basketball? Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Headmaster's comments. "Timothy is constantly finding excuses.

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"He should make up his mind what his goals are.

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"At the moment, he is dithering. E Grigsby, Headmaster."

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How right that man was. Dither, dither, dither.

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I do not dither! Everybody says I dither.

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-I'm absolutely fed up with it. I do not! I'm going out, Mother.

-Where?

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-To the station, to meet Miss Elizabeth Large.

-The bridesmaid?

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The bridesmaid, yes, Mother, who is 35 and,

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if you want my un-dithering opinion, fanciable!

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Very!

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But we know nothing about this girl!

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You knew nothing about Lady Diana Spencer.

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That seems to have worked out all right.

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Good point, that...

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You won't be so full of yourself

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when you've eaten this plate of brawn.

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Hello?!

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TRAIN THUNDERS BY

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-Oi! Where are you going?

-Oh, sorry! I didn't see you there.

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-I was just... Has the train arrived yet?

-Yes.

-Oh.

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-What about the next one?

-No, not yet.

-Oh, good.

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That's the one I meeting.

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You on a demo, then?

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-What? Oh, no. No, no.

-What's this "Large"?

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Are you against large people?

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No, no, Miss Elizabeth Large, on the next train.

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I'm carrying this so she'll be able to pick me out.

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She should manage that. Unless she thinks I'M waiting for her.

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Ah, you're joking!

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Little twinkle there, just a little twinkle!

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TRAIN PULLS UP Is that it? Is that it?

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Well, if it's a bus, it's trespassing.

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-May I go on the platform? May I, please?

-6p.

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HE SIGHS

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HE DROPS HIS CHANGE Oh, sorry, Mother!

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I mean....

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I should keep my hanky in a separate pocket, like Mother says.

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Oh, sorry. Oh!

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Oh! Thank you!

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Oh!

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Keep the change.

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Hello! Oh...

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Oh... Sorry!

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This is the interrogation room, you see?

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Mother sits here and Father sits there.

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I come in the room and the inquisition starts.

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Ha-ha! Considering I've been on the rack for 30 years,

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it's odd that I'm not any taller.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Oh, my father, as soon as I'm in,

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"Where have you been? Who have you been with?

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-"What do you look like?"

-Oh, same as me.

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Moment I come with the door, Father starts. We all start, really.

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I mean, at least the KGB let you ring your solicitor, don't they?

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-Oh, dear!

-He even confiscated my Barry Manilow record.

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Well, actually, to be honest,

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they confiscated ALL my Barry Manilow records.

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I was rather pleased, actually!

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-Well, would you... Would you like to sit down, take a seat?

-Oh, yes.

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Well...

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What would you, er, what would you like?

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Look, I'm sorry to do this to you, it said there was a buffet car.

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Don't worry! Honestly, they always say there's a buffet car.

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There was really, but they were short-staffed.

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-Oh, perhaps

-I

-ought to be working for them!

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Ha ha ha!

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You do go on about your height. I mean, what's wrong with it?

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-It's lovely!

-Is it? HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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Thank you very much. I...

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There was a time, as a child, you know,

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when I thought I was really going to be quite short.

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Yes.

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Then, I absolutely shot up.

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Mother actually thinks I've outgrown my strength. Ha-ha!

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-Oh, but you haven't, not the way you carried that suitcase.

-Well...

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What are you... What would you... What would you like? I mean, er...

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We've got, um... We've got some bubble and squeak...

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To be honest, with precious few bubbles and not a lot of squeak.

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And there's a sort of...beigey stuff in the liquidiser, which is a bit...

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HE MUMBLES

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And, um, there's a curried egg and avocado sort of thing.

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You know, Mother calls it her lucky dip.

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But it's been in the fridge so long,

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it's rapidly about to become her unlucky dip!

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So, you know, what, as you were, would you, what would you...

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What would you... what would you like?

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Oh, well, I think I'll have the...

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Or perhaps, er...

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-No.

-Mm.

-Well, um...

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Oh, sorry.

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-What should I have?

-Well, um...

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Perhaps, erm...

0:15:210:15:23

No, I don't think so. No, you could, what about, um...

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Possibly, um...

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You could have... What about bread and cheese?

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Oh, bread and cheese.

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I think.

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Oh, I don't know. I'm dithering. I do dither.

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Oh, do you? I'm glad to hear that, cos so do I.

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-I do, I do that.

-Do you?

-Well, yes and no, you know.

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Exactly.

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So, what is it to be, then?

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-Bread and cheese, or, you know, something else if you like?

-Yes.

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Yes! Very decisive. Didn't dither at all, did you? Birds of a feather.

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Good heavens, no flies on you.

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Wish I could say the same for the cheese!

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TIMOTHY LAUGHS

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# I write the songs that make the whole world sing! #

0:16:060:16:09

Hello? Oh, sorry!

0:16:200:16:22

-Sorry?

-Oh, sorry.

-Sorry.

-Sorry, sorry.

0:16:220:16:26

It's just about the bread.

0:16:260:16:28

I, um...I could cut this bit off, I suppose, give it to the birds.

0:16:280:16:32

Or, no, I know what I'll do,

0:16:320:16:34

cut this bit off and save the rest for Father.

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That's the best thing. Sorry.

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CLOCK CHIMES

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Put it on its front. Put it on its front.

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-Oh, oh.

-I'm sorry...

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No, don't worry, it always does that, always strikes six

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at 27 minutes past and vice versa... unless it's on its face.

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-But how do you tell the time?

-Look at my watch.

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TIMOTHY LAUGHS

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There we are. Oh, dear.

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Why don't you get it mended?

0:17:160:17:18

Well, to be honest, Father was going to get it mended, you know,

0:17:180:17:22

-back in 1968.

-Oh! My father's hopeless, too, really.

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He needs looking after the whole time.

0:17:260:17:28

Well, this is it, to be honest.

0:17:280:17:30

You've put your finger absolutely on it,

0:17:300:17:33

because, well, my mother and father are getting on and, you know...

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I just don't know where they'd be without me.

0:17:370:17:40

The mind just boggles, really. It's frightening.

0:17:400:17:42

It's the same with me and Father. I mean, I'm stuck with him.

0:17:420:17:45

-Unless, of course...

-Oh, yes, exactly. Unless, of course. Yes.

0:17:450:17:49

I'm sorry, unless what? I'm sorry, I didn't...

0:17:490:17:51

-Well, you know, UNLESS.

-Oh, UNLESS, yes. UNLESS, yes.

0:17:510:17:56

Unless? Unless? Oh, you mean UNLESS?

0:17:560:17:59

Ah, yes. Unless the right man...

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-BOTH: Came along.

-Quite, quite.

-Quite, quite.

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Quite.

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I mean, I dream of escaping.

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You know, to be carried off on a great big white horse

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by some strong, decisive man.

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Yes. I have that dream, as well.

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It's not a man, obviously!

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It's a person.

0:18:240:18:26

In a funny sort of way... Actually, it's a woman, to be honest.

0:18:260:18:30

-And it's not on a horse.

-Oh, what is it, then?

0:18:310:18:35

Well, I never see, you see.

0:18:350:18:37

Because I can't make up my mind to climb out of the window.

0:18:370:18:39

-So silly, really.

-You could come on my horse.

0:18:390:18:43

Could I really?

0:18:430:18:44

-Would it be big enough?

-Oh!

0:18:460:18:48

I wouldn't wish to intrude on your horse.

0:18:480:18:51

Am I interrupting something?

0:18:510:18:54

Who is this person, Timothy? And what are you doing?

0:18:550:18:58

Mother, this is Liz.

0:18:580:18:59

How nice to meet you prematurely, like this.

0:18:590:19:02

Timothy, that cheese was for the cat.

0:19:040:19:06

And...who moved the clock and what sort of time do you call this?

0:19:060:19:11

That concludes the case for the prosecution.

0:19:110:19:13

SYDNEY SLURPS

0:19:200:19:22

Please try not to do that.

0:19:220:19:23

Well?

0:19:250:19:26

Sydney?

0:19:260:19:27

Well, what?

0:19:270:19:29

The hat.

0:19:290:19:31

Well?

0:19:310:19:32

Good idea, a hat.

0:19:320:19:35

I know that, it's a wedding.

0:19:360:19:38

I mean, do you prefer this hat to the other hat?

0:19:380:19:42

Other hats?

0:19:420:19:43

The other hats I showed you.

0:19:430:19:45

Oh, very nice, too.

0:19:450:19:47

How you ever held a responsible position in the Water Board,

0:19:480:19:52

I shall never know.

0:19:520:19:54

You were the wettest thing there.

0:19:540:19:56

Nice one, Phyllis.

0:19:570:19:59

Ta-ra!

0:19:590:20:00

Why have you put that hard suit on so early in the day?

0:20:020:20:04

I wanted to get value for money, Mother. PHONE RINGS

0:20:040:20:07

Ah. That'll be the chimney sweep ringing me up to tell me

0:20:070:20:09

the black cat has bitten him to death.

0:20:090:20:12

Timothy? It's me.

0:20:120:20:14

Yes. I've done a really silly thing,

0:20:140:20:16

I've locked myself out of Richard's house and there's no-one in.

0:20:160:20:20

I'm supposed to be dressing the bride.

0:20:210:20:24

Well, the window's open. An athletic man could get in.

0:20:270:20:30

A strong, smallish, athletic man.

0:20:320:20:34

Yes.

0:20:350:20:36

On a white horse.

0:20:370:20:39

You just stay there

0:20:400:20:41

and I'll be over before you can say Barry Manilow! Ha-ha! Bye.

0:20:410:20:46

Who was that?

0:20:460:20:47

That was the Gotham City Chief of Police, Mother.

0:20:470:20:50

-Oh.

-It's a disaster. The lovely Fay Wray is trapped

0:20:520:20:55

in a blazing skyscraper with a mad gorilla.

0:20:550:20:58

Is it a plane? Is it a bird? No, it's Best Man!

0:20:580:21:02

Da-da...

0:21:020:21:04

Be careful.

0:21:070:21:08

I think they're on the chest of drawers.

0:21:120:21:14

TIMOTHY LAUGHS

0:21:160:21:17

-Not the best man for nothing!

-Bring them down.

0:21:170:21:19

No, no, I'll put the coffee on, you come in. Right? Catch.

0:21:190:21:23

Oh.

0:21:260:21:27

-The gate, the gate.

-No, no, it's locked.

0:21:270:21:31

Don't move.

0:21:310:21:33

Leave it to Lumsden. Ta-da!

0:21:330:21:36

Right.

0:21:390:21:40

Left.

0:21:410:21:43

Steady.

0:21:430:21:44

There we are.

0:21:440:21:46

Oh! You're wonderful.

0:21:470:21:49

-That was so well thought out.

-Yes, it was.

0:21:490:21:54

Up to a point.

0:21:570:21:58

-Come on, what are you looking for?

-The way out, dear.

0:22:000:22:03

My head's stuck.

0:22:030:22:04

I-29. Got that, Uncle Charlie.

0:22:060:22:08

Boy with head in railings, 10 Prospect Place.

0:22:080:22:11

CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS

0:22:140:22:17

I knew it! I knew it!

0:22:200:22:23

Oh! Why did I ask him?

0:22:240:22:26

He's dithering somewhere.

0:22:260:22:27

I just can't wait any longer.

0:22:290:22:31

Well, they can't start without me! I'm the best man.

0:22:310:22:34

-Well, I'd better take the ring.

-No!

0:22:340:22:36

SIREN WAILS

0:22:360:22:37

Look, they're coming. You go.

0:22:370:22:39

I'm going.

0:22:390:22:40

She's here. The bride's car.

0:22:400:22:43

Well, tell the car to wait. Round the corner.

0:22:430:22:45

How did you do it, sir?

0:22:500:22:52

Quick, get me out of here. Please. I'm the best man. Cut the railings.

0:22:520:22:56

What? Cut these? This is a Listed building. Grade Two.

0:22:560:23:00

-You need planning permission to cut these.

-Planning permission?

0:23:000:23:03

There's regulations.

0:23:030:23:05

-Couldn't you just bend them?

-Regulations?

0:23:050:23:07

No, the railings!

0:23:070:23:09

We haven't got the gear.

0:23:090:23:10

We'll have to go back for it.

0:23:100:23:12

You're not plumbers, by any chance, are you?

0:23:120:23:14

Please, please get me out of here!

0:23:140:23:16

All right, keep your hair on.

0:23:160:23:18

George, go and buy some margarine.

0:23:180:23:20

I should never have asked him.

0:23:270:23:29

Oh!

0:23:490:23:50

Here, what are you doing down there?

0:23:530:23:55

Will you please help me out? I'm the best man.

0:23:590:24:01

What at? Falling in graves?! Ha-ha!

0:24:010:24:04

Get me out. Will you please get me out?!

0:24:040:24:07

Hang on.

0:24:070:24:08

Come on, then.

0:24:080:24:09

MUSIC: Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn

0:24:110:24:14

Oh, my God!

0:24:140:24:16

DOOR CLOSES

0:24:250:24:27

Sorry.

0:24:270:24:28

Sorry!

0:24:320:24:33

You look lovely.

0:24:330:24:35

And you. Sorry.

0:24:350:24:38

-Where have you been?

-Long story.

0:24:400:24:42

-What sort of time do you call this?

-Mother!

-Have you got the ring?

0:24:420:24:45

Don't worry. Certain things I get wrong, not this. There you are.

0:24:450:24:48

What are you doing?

0:24:480:24:50

INDISTINCT

0:24:500:24:51

It's stuck!

0:24:510:24:52

Oh, you silly fool!

0:24:540:24:56

Hang on, can't get the ring off!

0:24:560:24:58

Timothy, this is all your fault.

0:24:580:25:00

It won't come!

0:25:000:25:01

What you need, of course, is some margarine.

0:25:010:25:04

Margarine?

0:25:040:25:05

It so happens I've got some of that on me.

0:25:050:25:07

Where have you got some?

0:25:070:25:08

Behind my ear, Mother.

0:25:080:25:10

I'm not just a dirty face.

0:25:110:25:13

LAUGHTER

0:25:130:25:16

Thank you.

0:25:170:25:19

If I could be serious, for a moment.

0:25:190:25:21

Marriage is a very wonderful institution, so they tell me.

0:25:210:25:27

In fact, I'm rather hoping there will be another announcement

0:25:270:25:29

that I'm going to make at the end of the ceremony

0:25:290:25:32

with somebody who's not too far distant from me.

0:25:320:25:34

No! I must say that it is nice to see that

0:25:340:25:37

Frank and Jenny have finally made it, having lived together for...

0:25:370:25:41

I mean...

0:25:410:25:42

LAUGHTER

0:25:420:25:44

..known each other for so long.

0:25:440:25:45

Right, Frank and Jenny, the happy couple!

0:25:450:25:48

-ALL:

-Frank and Jenny!

0:25:480:25:51

Liz, I just wanted... Liz, I want...

0:25:520:25:54

Liz...

0:25:550:25:57

Quite a good story, isn't it? People like that story.

0:26:000:26:02

I didn't understand that story, I'm glad to say.

0:26:020:26:05

I'm pleased to say, lots of other people did, Mother. Thank you.

0:26:050:26:08

Tim, great!

0:26:080:26:09

I must see you before we go.

0:26:090:26:11

Certainly, certainly. Well, you've taken the plunge now.

0:26:110:26:13

-It's me, off the top board.

-What?

0:26:130:26:16

I am going to propose to the bridesmaid.

0:26:160:26:18

Wait! Look, you've had too many.

0:26:180:26:20

What, too many bridesmaids?

0:26:200:26:21

Drinks!

0:26:210:26:22

Look, Frank, you told me, no dithering. You told me that.

0:26:220:26:25

That's what it's going to be.

0:26:250:26:27

I was just... What I wanted to...

0:26:280:26:30

Your speech went terribly well.

0:26:300:26:32

Thank you very much.

0:26:320:26:33

Erm, will you marry me? That's what I...

0:26:330:26:35

-Will...

-Timothy?

0:26:350:26:38

Hello, Dad.

0:26:380:26:39

Marry me? Will you?

0:26:410:26:42

INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS

0:26:420:26:45

Bye!

0:26:560:26:58

Who shall I throw this to?

0:26:580:26:59

Throw it to Tim.

0:26:590:27:01

Where is he?

0:27:010:27:02

I hope he doesn't do something stupid.

0:27:020:27:05

CHEERING

0:27:050:27:07

Timothy?

0:27:210:27:22

Eaten too much trifle, have you?

0:27:230:27:25

Ha. No. No. I...

0:27:250:27:29

I proposed and she turned me down.

0:27:300:27:34

Yes, I turned your mother down the first time.

0:27:340:27:36

What seemed to be the snag?

0:27:380:27:40

-Well, she said I was after her money, I was a gold-digger.

-What?

0:27:400:27:43

Apparently, my eyebrows meet in the middle or something.

0:27:430:27:47

They do a bit, you know, behind your glasses, though.

0:27:470:27:50

Yes, but it was just an excuse, really.

0:27:510:27:54

She was dithering.

0:27:540:27:56

She wasn't your type, Timothy.

0:27:560:27:58

I suppose not.

0:27:580:28:00

-We are talking about Liz, aren't we?

-Yes, Liz, the bridesmaid.

0:28:000:28:03

You notice how she walked?

0:28:030:28:05

-Liz?

-Feet splayed out. Sure sign.

0:28:060:28:09

Sign of what?

0:28:120:28:14

Nasty disposition.

0:28:140:28:16

Sergeant major type.

0:28:160:28:17

Really, Liz? Good gracious!

0:28:180:28:20

Just like somebody we both know.

0:28:200:28:22

I'll not say a word against your mother.

0:28:250:28:28

Oh! It was a close shave, then!

0:28:310:28:33

Lucky escape!

0:28:350:28:38

Some people have all the luck!

0:28:390:28:41

Unlike yours truly!

0:28:410:28:43

-Cheers!

-Cheers!

0:28:450:28:48

Good gracious me! I never realised that!

0:28:480:28:51

APPLAUSE

0:28:520:28:55

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