Episode 1 Sweat the Small Stuff: Extra Sweaty

This programme contains some strong language

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello. Hi. I'm Nick Grimshaw.

Welcome to a brand-new series of Sweat The Small Stuff. Yeah!

And these are the people who are going to be sweating it on television tonight.

First up we have the team captain, who's slightly annoyed

because this new opening really highlights just how small he is

It's Melvin Odoom!

Joining Melvin is the EastEnders star who is sweating it

because she's just found out she's the real reason why Danny Dyer took the EastEnders job.

It's Jacqueline Jossa, everybody.

And the X Factor stud who's sweating it

because he's never seen this many hopeless wannabes in one room before.

It's Matt Richardson! WILD CHEERING

On this team it's the team captain,

a proud new mum who's sweating it because she's been up all night breastfeeding -

but it does help Marvin sleep. It's Rochelle Humes.

Rochelle is joined by the comic who's sweating it

because the last time he was in a line-up like this, it ended in a criminal record.

It's mass murderer Seann Walsh

And finally, the teen pop sensation who's annoyed because this show goes out past his bedtime

and his mum has put the parental lock on BBC iPlayer.

It's Conor Maynard, everybody! Yeah!

Yeah, a good show. Let's all go sweat the small stuff!

WHISTLING AND CHEERING

Hi. Hello.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff: Extra Sweaty,

because life's little annoyances really are worth bothering about.

Let's start off, I guess, by finding out how our team captains are.

Melvin Odoom, good to see you. And you, Grimmy. Are you good?

Very well. I like your trousers by the way. Do you? Yeah.

I'm worried they make me look like my mum, at the cricket.

It's a bit like, "I'm off to the cricket with your dad, back at six. A lasagne's in the oven."

Your mum's a don if she's got trousers like that. She's gangster. She is.

No, she's an actual gangster. Really? She's watching in Holloway prison.

Hi, Mum! Rochelle, welcome. You seem to have changed since the last series - what's happened?

You mean I'm not fat? Exactly. You're thin! Yeah!

You lost a baby out of your body and it's alive and everything!

Yes, I had a baby girl, she's very good.

Is she bigger than Melvin yet? Do you know what? I'd say she's about a foot taller. Oh, baby!

Let's get to know your team-mates this week. We have Jacqueline Jossa off of EastEnders, everybody!

WHISTLING AND CHEERING

Hi, Jacqueline! Hello. How are you? I'm good, thank you, how are you?

I'm good. I'm excited you're here, cos you've never done a panel show before. Be nice to me.

Yeah, I will be nice to you. Melvin will be really nice to you, I imagine. Hello!

Melvin will be helpline nice. Yeah.

Is there anything about being on EastEnders that makes you sweat or is it your dream job?

It is the dream job. But I also have to kiss...older men. Ugh!

Kissing! I know.

How is that, is it awful? Yeah I bet it's awful.

Like, no offence to them... Yeah. But it's scary.

Who have you had to kiss so far Er, Jamie Lomas. Yep.

Was Warren on Hollyoaks.

Have you had a go on Ian Beale? Ugh!

Imagine! Is he still a tramp, or is he all right now?

No, he's not. Remember when he was a crackhead? What happened? He came round that tree, like, "Uh!"

He was like the rich man, and then I watched it the other day and he's, like, on meth or something.

Everybody, Conor Maynard is here Hello. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's awkward that I'm sitting here. Why?

Me and Rochelle... Don't like each other.

We're racing in the charts. It was quite funny, cos she didn't know we were releasing at the same time

and she tweeted about my single saying, "I love Conor!"

Then she deleted it.

Legend! I like this team already. Seann, do you have a single out at all, or...?

I didn't know they still had the charts.

You could be the star of Nickelback. What a line-up. Nickelback, Rochelle and Conor Maynard.

I think the closest I get to Nickelback

would be if I was in the line-up on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Yeah

I'd be one of the ones he wasn't. Just cut to me and go, "Or number four, Nickel I want my money back."

Right, let's get on with the show, it's time for Round One.

This week it's about something which Melvin has recently been sweating about. What is it, pray tell?

I'm not going to name any names but I've got a friend,

and his girlfriend likes him to wear her underwear, right?

Now, I don't know if this happens out there, I can't believe it.

Now, I'm a freak in the bedroom I'm not going to lie, Jacqueline.

And by freak in the bedroom, he means "circus dwarf".

LAUGHTER

But I think that's a step too far. Like, who would want that?

No, I don't get it, it's not for me, but I know...

You see some weird stuff on the internet, and I've seen it before.

Seann, can we just assume you've done this and move on? Yes. Yeah, yeah.

I thought we'd find out how common it was, so we put it to the test.

We rounded up people on the streets and asked them, "Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes "

The way this is going to work, we'll see the person swear on this, the Quiff of Grimmy!

Yeah!

It's a bit over the top. This series we have really pushed the boat out,

the truth. All you have to do is decide if they look like someone who wears their partner's clothes.

Rochelle's team are up first. Have a look at this person.

Do they look like they wear their friend's knickers or underwear

My name's Beth, and I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy

to tell the whole truth.

Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes?

What do you think? I'm going "yes" at the minute.

It's not so bad when girls wear boys' clothes, is it? No.

It's when I put my girlfriend's bra on my head I get shouted at. Yeah.

On your head, or on? On my head it's like two little - big - cones.

Two big cones. Be very careful, Conor!

What is your answer over there I'm going to go "yes" for our team.

You're saying yes? Yes? Yes. They're saying yes.

Yes, once or twice. Do you find it sexy?

No, not really. I just wanted to see what boxers felt like.

Amazing.

She wanted to see what boxers felt like? You don't need to imagine that.

It's not like a burning desire in your head.

For those of you who've not done it, it's like wearing...shorts.

The next one is for Melvin's team, have a look.

Hi, I'm Steve, and I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes?

Does this man look like that he wears his partner's clothes?

Jacqueline, Matt, what do you think? Well... Absolutely. You think? He's got murderer eyes. Yeah.

So I think he probably wears his partner's skin.

I think he looks cute. So you're saying no, and you're saying yes. I think he definitely has.

Really? What do you think? I think he's too hard, I think no. You'd say no? I think no.

I'm going to go for "no". OK, they're saying no.

Yeah.

Did you find it sexy? No. Weird

He hated that question. You can see he goes from all happy to be on TV,

Rochelle's team, this is for you.

I swear to tell the whole truth on Nick Grimshaw's quiff.

Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes?

What do we think about ASAP Del Boy, Conor? Conor, what do you think

Is he trying to be a rapper? Does he know ASAP Rocky already exists

Probably, and does he know Del Boy exists? Yes!

He's going to be gutted... We'll have those two pieces of culture, throw them together.

If he does, he won't admit it, with a camera there. OK. I'm going to say "no". ASAP Del Boy, what you saying?

No, I'm not that kinky.

Aw, he's really sweet. Bless him.

I love ASAP Del Boy. I think ASAP Del Boy should just live a little

and pop a little thong on, some suspenders,

maybe a heel, paint the town red!

The next one is for you guys. Cool.

Hi, my name is Shamara and I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy

to tell the truth.

Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes?

Mm. She's really thinking about that there, you can see.

Jacqueline? Yeah, she does. Yes So we're saying yeah?

Yeah. I mean... I think no, actually,

and I was right last time, so..

Going to with Matt's answer. They say no, she doesn't do things like that.

Yes. Did you find it sexy?

I really did. SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, my! She really enjoyed it. Really enjoyed it.

Told you I knew her!

Next one is for Rochelle and Seann and for Conor.

My name's Charlene and I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy

to tell the whole truth.

Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes?

Audience, what do you think? You all said "yes" then!

Without being rude, it looks like she's wearing them!

I reckon she puts on her boyfriend's building gear.

She just drills a road, going, "Yeah! This is what it's like!

So we're going yes. You're saying yes? Definitely.

Yes, she drills roads in them.

No.

Liar! Liar! I demand a recount

That looks like a face that just got busted, like... Yeah!

"What you talking about? You been filming in my house?" OK, next one...

is for Melvin's team. Have a look at this person.

My name's James, I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy that

I will tell the whole truth.

Have you ever tried on your partner's clothes?

I don't think he's ever had a partner - he's too nice.

He's not been tainted by women. Yes. You're going to say no.

Melvin, what do you think? Cos you have been tainted by women.

He looks really nice, and kind It's always the quiet ones.

You should know. I do know. What do we think?

I don't know, you choose. Well, what do you guys think?

AUDIENCE: No!

Thank you. So you're going to say no? We're going to say no.

They're saying no. Let's find out.

Yes, I have. Did you find it sexy?

Yes. It was... It was nice.

LAUGHTER

Told you! Naughty, James, very naughty.

Thank you to the people of Swansea and Birmingham for playing The Quiff of Grimmy.

If you just let it come up, right, but don't bring it all the way up, just bring it up,

then put it back down, it looks like, you know in the films when someone escapes jail,

they dig a hole, but they come out of the wrong hole.

And then they just realise and drop back in.

Ah, shit, not here!

Jacqueline, why have you been sweating about walking in the wrong direction? What's wrong with you?

No, when you realise you're walking in the wrong direction. OK. What do you do?

Well, turn around. No.

No, not when there's a big crowd and you know people are watching you.

That's awkward. Really awkward You think, "Shall I just carry on walking, see where I get to?"

Maybe you can go all the way around the country and eventually get there.

Seann, does this worry you? I know what you're talking about.

Cos when you're walking and then you realise, "No, I'm going in the wrong direction,"

you can't just stop and turn round, you have to sort of go, "Oh, God, sorry, what am I doing?"

The one thing you can't react to is this, makes it even worse, is if

you're walking past a car and look into the car to check your reflection,

and then you realise, "Oh, my God, there's someone in there."

Oh, yeah, that's awful, that is really bad. Don't react to that

OK, it's now time for Grimmy Investigates.

The way this is going to work is that every week, I'm going to ask the listeners of Radio 1,

and followers of Sweat The Small Stuff Twitter account,

what their biggest sweats are concerning a specific topic.

And I've promised them that I'll pick one of those sweats out of a hat -

a hat, no less - and attempt to investigate it for them.

But as I'm investigating, I think that this calls for a detective series title sequence.

MUSIC: Theme to "Murder, She Wrote"

That is right, everybody - a Murder, She Wrote spoof on BBC Three. You are welcome, everybody.

OK, so this week's chosen topic was exercise.

To create an element of excitement,

each week I will use a different hat to pick the sweat from.

So let's find out what this week's hat will be. Oh!

What hat could it be, yeah? It's the Australian cork hat, everybody!

Ooh! Ooh! Very exciting there.

Now, this is full of sweats of the people who listen to the radio and watch the telly,

and completely at random I will pick one of the sweats out of the hat.

It could be any - there's thousands of sweats in here.

Which one will it be? It could be any of these.

Probably go for that one that says, "Pick this one."

This sweat is from Marie in Northampton.

Marie hates it when she uses light weights at the gym

and everyone looks like they're judging her.

So it's basically gym snobbery There's Marie behind me.

So poor Marie goes to the gym and everyone looks at her cos she can't lift enough.

I hate that too, although my only gym snobbery is those people

who don't wipe down the machines after they've used them

and it leaves, like, sweaty bum marks on machines.

We should boil those people alive.

Get rid of their fat.

You know what's weird?

Even though I picked that sweat completely at random,

I've just thought of a way in which we can investigate that sweat. No way.

I'm just like this. I'm an investigator but I'm a genius.

And it involves that gym equipment that's over there.

This is really weird. Let's investigate that sweat,

for Marie in Nottingham.

Here we have the Bicep Curl Machine 4,000 - I'll just say that -

which has been set which has been set at a very seasonable,

some might say pathetic, 1kg. There we go.

As you can see, if this were a real gym,

everyone would be looking over laughing and rudely pointing at me,

at how little I'm lifting,

and how I'm wearing tartan trouser, when I'm in LA Fitness.

But I've come up with a plan - I think the best way to avoid those sneering glares you get in the gym

is to distract the rude onlookers by doing something else at the same time.

I want the panellists you see before you rise to come and demonstrate

a way in which you can distract fellow gym-goers

so they don't look at how little you are lifting,

so they're not looking there, they're looking here.

I'll give a point for the best method of distracting. Come on, Conor Maynard.

What are you going to do with that microphone? You're in the gym to work out.

Yeah, I normally just go to the gym and just try and promote my music as a last attempt.

So, er, if you guys can...

This is...

# There ain't no need to... #

No, I... It's not a music programme. # Cry no more

# When you break my heart into 24... #

I don't think he should be promoting it. Because now Rochelle's going to have to do the thing.

It's not meant to be a music show. # Hold your breath... #

No. # I ain't your mister

# Cos I'm breaking up wit' ya

# Shoulda laid down with your sister

# Here's my middle finger

# Are you crazy, are you crazy, are you crazy? #

You shouldn't really do this. I think that this is... I think that this is too...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

No, this is not Jools Holland, thank you.

Not Jools Holland, don't need that hip-hop music here, thank you.

Next up, Melvin!

Melvin, you look like you do go to the gym. You like it, don't you?

Really? Yeah. I don't mind it, it's all right. I hate it.

Melvin, how are you going to distract people from the fact that you're lifting a little weight

Marie in Nottingham is counting on you to offer a distraction.

I'm going to dance erotically.

I'm going to sit over there. Have we got any music?

MUSIC: "Call On Me" by Eric Prydz

Uh-oh.

Oh, no!

Oh, he's stripping. Oh, no!

CHEERING

No, you have to stop. We... This...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, guys, what has happened is, now, I've completed my investigation

Seann Walsh. Yes. Last time you were on, you told us you never cook that was your main sweat.

Have you learnt to cook, has anything changed in the life of Seann Walsh?

No, I'm still terrible. Good. I still get takeaways. Plan on getting takeaways.

Is it just me, but sometimes, when your pizza's delivered, do you think, "Can't you just break in "

LAUGHTER

Do you know what I mean? You're just lying there, you got your iPad out, watching Sky Sports News,

and you get the knock, you think, "Oh, for God's sake!

"If you can hear me, I'll give you an extra two quid if you climb through the window "

Last time, you said you liked to make fish fingers.

You hooked me in on that. Fish fingers and beans.

Fish fingers, chips and beans. I'm yours!

And, yeah... Micro meals. This is how lazy I am -

I only buy the micro meals where you don't have to pierce the film lid.

You know the other ones?

Like, there's other ones, like, halfway through you've got to peel back the film and stir it

put the film lid back, put it back in the micro, shut the door.

That's not a micro meal - that's cooking. Piss off.

Thank you, Seann Walsh.

OK, time now for Rochelle Melvin - The Challenges.

This is where, each week, I challenge our team captains

to take a small sweat out onto the streets and into the faces of the public.

This week's sweat is about those really annoying things people do online

which you would never do in the real world, unless you were made to

if you were on a panel show. Thanks.

Anything that people do online that annoys any of you guys?

I hate those statuses that are like, "Oh, my God, I've just had the best news ever!"

I hate that, like a vague thing Like, "OK, what is it?"

They want everyone to comment underneath, "What is it?" Then they don't write another line.

But I do like it when people are drunk on Facebook, though. You get the drunken status updates.

You can tell they're going to be a good one cos you have to click "read more".

The three annoying things I picked were, firstly, those annoying,

pointless tweets about nothing, like, "Just getting a coffee." OK.

People posting albums full of boring stuff, maybe like food or their baby.

Sorry. Or selfies.

I don't care. And, finally, vague things like, "Oh, why does everything bad happen to me?"

Or, "Oh, I had such an 'orrible day, but don't ask me about it."

All right, ask if you want help or shut up!

I sent Rochelle and Melvin out to find out what would happen if people behaved in the real world

as they do online. This is Rochelle Melvin - The Challenges.

Come on, then.

You know you're going to lose today, don't you? Sorry, could you hear something?

I thought I could hear someone talking.

I really feel like this is my week. I feel pretty confident, you know?

Were you doing something behind my back? No.

"You are taking annoying online behaviour offline."

"Update your status out loud three times when ordering a coffee."

Simples.

BELL DINGS

You all right?

BELL DINGS

BELL DINGS

BELL DINGS

BELL DINGS

BELL DINGS

"Ask a stranger to look through and like, your entire photo album.

What album? Oh.

Can I just squeeze on there? Yeah. Sorry.

Can I share my album with you guys? I just got a new album.

Can I show you my album? Yeah, sure. Yeah? You want to see?

That's like half a burger and half a pizza.

They had this really nice salad That's some pastries there.

I like to eat, I really enjoy eating food.

That's my cat. Oh, she's doing yoga. That's my cat doing yoga.

I sit her down and I put her in the positions.

Oh, that's when she hurt her neck.

I know. Aww, bless her.

Oh, my cat on the toilet.

I look like I'm in a helicopter

but I'm in the back of a car with my headphones on.

And then that's me sucking my thumb. Did you like it? Yeah.

BELL DINGS

Oh, and then that's it, asleep

Yeah. Did you like it? Yeah, it's good.

BELL DINGS Did you like it?

"Vagueing. Say out loud one of those vague, attention-seeking updates..."

"And hope a member of the public cares enough to check if you're OK."

Now this might be hard.

SHE SOBS

LAUGHTER

BELL DINGS

Love...

Oh, my God.

Well done to Rochelle - you got a point -

but well done, Rochelle and Melvin,

on Rochelle Melvin - The Challenges. That was amazing.

Well done. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, it is now time for Sweat Britannia.

I'm going to stand up to be proud of this country,

because, people of Great Britain, this series,

I sent the honourable Sweat The Small Stuff team around the British Isles

and declared to them, "Be swift and true of virtue as thou seek out

"what the noble people of this great nation have been sweating over.

"Thou shall not come back until thou foundest at least one person

"to say that they have been sweating over pissing themselves or summat like that."

So the first sweat is from a citizen of this great nation which caught my eye,

and she's called Kirsty from Essex.

Hello, Kirsty. ROCHELLE WHOOPS

Hi, Grimmy, my name's Kirsty. I'm from Epping, Essex.

The most annoying thing that's been happening is everybody is calling me by my nickname, Wingnut,

because my ear keeps poking out the side of my hair. It's so annoying.

I love Kirsty. She doesn't look like a wingnut, does she?

She does a bit, actually, look at that! It's uncanny.

So, teams, to show Kirsty from Essex she isn't on her own, I thought it'd be good to find out if you have ever

had to sweat over having a nickname. To make this interesting, we're going to do this

in the form of a game we've called Nick's Naff Nickname Game.

Which I hate, by the way.

Melvin's team. Yes. I have an envelope here.

"For Melvin's team," it says on the back.

Here, in this envelope, I have some badges with some nicknames on

that apply to the people in your rival team.

All you have to do is figure out who has had to endure these nicknames at some point in their life, OK?

For each nickname you get right you get a point for your team.

The first nickname I have is..

Hmm, Noodle? Next up... Surely Seann? Look at his head.

Hmm, I wonder who...?

LAUGHTER

And, finally...

I don't know who this could apply to.

Oh. Times were tough, Rochelle times were tough.

That's Rochelle. She looks a bit like a johnny. Talking about having a single out at the same time.

I'll pass these over to you. Melvin and your team, figure out who they apply to.

They've had to endure those horrible names in their lives. Do I stick it on them?

Stick them on, Jacqueline, then explain why you think those. Oh dear. The Girl From Outnumbered

The one that looks like the girl from Outnumbered. It's Seann. Yes, it's Seann! OK.

Jacqueline, you've got this for your team. Got this. She's going over.

It looks like the girl from Outnumbered has got a heroin addiction.

So you're saying Conor Maynard. . How dare you? ..is Condom Gaynard.

And, finally...

OK. Jacqueline, if you'd like to take a seat,

we will find out if you're right.

Seann, what's your embarrassing nickname, and how did you get it?

LAUGHTER

Um... Yes, my nickname is The Girl From Outnumbered.

BELL DINGS

And people just shout it at me in the streets.

Along with Aslan...

..Justin Lee Collins, Jesus,

and "fucking tramp, mate".

Let's see how accurate that nickname is.

Can we see how accurate this nickname could be? I mean...

I don't even know if we've got the girl from Outnumbered on the show or Seann Walsh now.

I've never even seen her - that's scary.

I didn't realise that was true I bet she's...

She's watching this going, "Dad "

Rochelle? Yes. What is your nickname, could you please reveal?

When I was at school, I had hair a bit like yours,

really curly, so my friends at school - well, maybe not friends - used to call me Noodle.

BELL DINGS They used to call you Noodle. Yes. Noodle's your correct name.

Let's see how accurate that nickname is. Oh. Here you are with noodle hair.

And, Conor, please reveal your nickname. Yes, it was Condom Gaynard.

BELL DINGS Condom Gaynard.

That is hilarious. Chin up.

Apparently my friends were good at rhyming and weren't my friends, so...

But I've been getting weird things for a long time, because obviously now, with fans,

everyone names their fans things, that kind of thing.

And once - genuinely this happened - a dad of a fan came up to me,

I think it was at an album signing.

He was like, "So you know Bieber's got his fans, they've got, like Bieber Fever?

"Your fans should have Conorrhea."

A lot of them do.

Well done, Melvin's team, you get three points. Well done, Jacqueline.

OK, Rochelle's team, you're next. I have the following nicknames. .

Tosser.

Ski Lower. And finally, this one.

Boring Bastard Who Nearly Ruined This Game

Because They Claim To Have Never Had A Nickname.

So, who do you think these belong to? Conor Maynard.

Rochelle, what do you think? Right, Jacqueline's surname is...

Tosser. ..something like that.

What's your surname again? Jossa. OK, so she's Tosser.

and see if you can do this. OK, just send Condom Gaynard to do it. It'll be fine.

Poor Conor. Do you remember the day they thought of that name in school?

I've tried to forget. Yeah.

Be careful, Conor. Don't get too excited.

So you're actually putting a sign on that lovely girl that says "Tosser".

Can't see it. On her stomach. Are you trying to get me to touch...

Yes! Stick it on her boobies!

Push it on. There you go.

Ski Lower on Melvin. Right, Ski Lower on Melvin, please.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: No!

Don't listen to a random lady! You know him.

I just like excuses to touch men.

So you've gone from sexually assaulting someone from EastEnders

to coming out! This is the weirdest game for you!

It's a big day for Condom Gaynard.

Er...let's find out if you're right.

Matt, what was your embarrassing nickname?

Er, I'm a boring bastard that claims they've never had a nickname. Yay!

Melvin, what is your embarrassing nickname

that you don't want to reveal on TV but we're forcing you to

It is Ski Lower. Oh, yes! Why?

Because do you know a rapper called Skee Lo? Yes, he made this song

MUSIC: "I Wish" by Skee Lo

You've never looked whiter, Seann.

Yeah, own it, girlfriend.

Because he was rapping about wishing to be taller, my friends were

trying to say, "You're shorter than him."

So from Skee Lo, it went to Ski Lower.

I mean, your friends who invented that should have a point for their team at home, really.

So finally, Jacqueline, this means that your nickname is Tosser. Yeah.

Oh!

And why? Cos it rhymes with my last name. Oh! It's not a reputation No?

No. So, well done, Rochelle's team. You win three points for your team.

Seann, you've also been sweating about waiting for things, I believe.

What have you been waiting for Obviously, no-one likes waiting

That's obvious. It's not, like, one of my hobbies.

"I love waiting!" Mini-waits. Needless waits.

This is meant to be advanced technology. Advanced technology

We've all got it, we all hear about it.

"This is advanced technology." The iPhone, right?

Meant to be one of the most advanced pieces of technology.

You plug it in to charge, then there's this sort of weird

six, seven minute period where your phone's not on.

Yeah, I hate that. Yet it's plugged in.

It's literally the only device on the planet that is plugged in,

yet doesn't work. My toaster works.

It's very simple, it's been around for decades.

You put the bread in, you put it down, it works.

You don't plug in the toaster then go, "It could be six, seven minutes.

"I'm not really sure when it's going to be working.

You know what I mean? These mini-waits.

Mini-waits. Mini-waits.

I do hate a mini-wait, you're right. It's very annoying.

I feel like you were a very stressed man, Seann Walsh. HELP ME!

Seann, with your eating habits and general demeanour,

I think you're going to die soon.

I think we're all going to be going to Seann Walsh's funeral

and we'll all be waiting for the coffin going, "Oh, he'd have hated this."

And, Conor, I believe you have a brand-new book out. Ah, yes, I do.

Conor Maynard has a book, I've actually got it here. Here we go.

That's good.

Learn to stay inside the lines silly!

That is way better than I would ve done. Stay inside the lines, not out! It's madness, that!

No, he does have a real book. I have actually been reading it, Conor

I've got one on my desk at work I've been reading it,

where you get to help members of this very audience.

They will tell you lot what they ve sweating about recently, and you must help them out with advice.

Whichever team they decide has given them the best help will get a point. Are you all ready? Yes!

OK, let's do this. Who is first in The Sweatbox tonight?

Hi, there. My name is Imogen.

My sweat is that I cannot stand the sound of someone eating a banana.

I've never heard... That's, like, the most silent of snacks. It's like stealth fruit.

It's not when they have their mouth open. How close do people...?

And why bananas? Um... It's the sound that it makes.

I hate this word and it should never be mentioned,

but the word "moist" comes to mind.

Before, I thought I'd go round and put a banana under each of your desks,

just in case you needed some potassium. But now it seems like the perfect opportunity to go

and eat them around Imogen. We can just find out... They make me retch.

Let's see how much this annoys you. I don't know if it's a genuine sweat.

It has to be silent, though.

I think that you've just... OK, Imogen?

Mmm...

Nom, nom, nom.

I didn't even get in the shed there. I said to go in.

I know you did, but it was just a weird... It was like a journey you never think you'd have.

If you just think, from my point of view, I was just a man that walked up to a shed with a banana,

had a couple of bites and walked back to the chair.

It was just weird, on my own, this is what I did. Just look.

To be fair, out of everyone I know, if someone went,

"Guess who walked up to a shed eating a banana and instantly left?" I'd go, "Seann Walsh."

Any advice from Melvin's team? I can't remember what we were talking about.

Oh, you don't like banana eating? No! Not with their mouth open.

Why don't you get one of those things that people sleep with, then you won't see.

A banana mask. Yes, a banana mask. Just get out a pineapple.

If someone's eating a banana just go, "Wha' gwan?"

Why do you have to eat a pineapple with a West Indian accent?

Whose advice are you going to take? I'm going to take the pineapple Pineapple!

A point for your team! High-five!

Right, who is next in the Sweatbox?

Hi, guys, my name's Ayesha. My sweat is, I have an issue.

When I get approached in the street by men -

this isn't something that happens often, but, you know, when I do -

they seem to think it's acceptable to come up to me

and approach me with their trousers hanging down by their knees

and all of their dirty boxers showing, and I just can't cope with that.

I love Ayesha, she's a diva! I'm not a diva! You are, you are.

I just can't cope!

Are you in a public toilet and it's just a man taking a shit?

Always next to a glory hole, like... Hey!

"This is so annoying!"

Do you mean, like, people, like swag, like people wearing trousers low, or do you mean middle-aged men

just, like, "All right, mate?" No, I'm talking about the guys. .

You're talking about a rude boy innit?

You're talking about man coming up to you showing you "peni".

I think, Ayesha, you should date Simon Cowell.

Has this ever happened to you? Are you ever approached by undesirables on the street? Yeah.

And what do you do? How do you deal with it?

Say, "Excuse me, sorry, I've got a boyfriend."

You're dating somebody from TOWIE? Oh, here we go.

The Only Way Is Essex - does that mean you have a vajazzle?

Wouldn't you like to know?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

If you don't shave first, it just looks like you've chucked Christmas lights over her head

Ayesha, maybe you could have an imaginary boyfriend.

Even if you don't have one, it's a really good excuse. Always works.

I love the way you guys are assuming I don't have a boyfriend! Do you have a boyfriend?

Huh? Do you have a boyfriend? I do.

Just tell them your real name's Alan!

Well, the options are, Ayesha, which you can go for...

You can say you've got a boyfriend, which you do,

or pretend you are a man called Alan.

Now... With these, I don't think anyone gon' think I'm a man!

Whose advice...

LAUGHTER

So are you going to go for Alan or boyfriend?

I think I'll go with the boyfriend. She's going with the boyfriend

Finally!

OK, who is next in the Sweatbox

Hi, my name is Hussein. My sweat is that I've introduced quite a few of my friends to each other that

didn't know each other. And they are going on holiday and didn't invite me

cos they assumed I wouldn't be on it. Oh! That's deep, innit?

Can you introduce me to them, cos they sound great(!)

They sound amazing. Where's the holiday? Apparently it's Thailand.

They haven't even gone yet? They haven't gone yet? No, no, they're going.

You can tag along. Nah, it ain't about that, man. I want an invite.

Any advice over here? What could he do about this problem? I could be your friend. We could all go.

Go on holiday with Melvin. These are your new friends.

And Jacqueline and Matt Richardson. Hey!

Melvin's team, or Rochelle's team? ALL: Oooh!

I will bring Caroline Flack. And Nicole Scherzinger.

I will bring all of The Saturdays. I can't actually... I'm sorry.

One Nicole Scherzinger equals four Saturdays.

Who would you rather give a point to? The Saturdays or, you know, Matt's team.

He says he can bring Nicole but he's on Xtra Factor, not X Factor, so he probably can't.

ALL: Ooh!

Who you going to go for? Um...

Wait, before you decide... Before you decide, wait one second!

If you go with our team, we'll tell you what's going to happen on the next episode of EastEnders.

Yes, that's good!

I can tell you Christmas, I can tell you Christmas. Christmas!

I'm going with you lot. Yeah!

A point for Melvin and his team Right, that was the final round and that was the end of the show.

Tonight's winners, and biggest stressers, are...

Rochelle's team! APPLAUSE

Yeah!

A big thank you to Rochelle, to Conor, to Seann,

Melvin, Matt and Jacqueline.

This has been Sweat The Small Stuff.

I've been Nick Grimshaw, you've been beautiful! Good night!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd