Episode 1 The Revolution Will Be Televised

This programme contains very strong language and adult humour

'Welcome to Inside The Story.

'I'm Dale Maily,

'fearless hetero journalist who's not afraid to be unafraid.

'I deliver fair, impartial news as it happens, wherever it happens,

'telling you the right way to think.'

Hello, I'm Dale Maily

and today I'm getting inside the story of the Occupy movement.

Behind me are a bunch of weed-smoking, anti-bank,

anti-capitalist lunatic fascists, who hate Princess Diana.

'From New York to London,

'the Occupy movement is a load of soap-dodging hippies

'who are whinging about how money supposedly corrupts politics,

'so I'm going to the front line to tell them to grow up,

'have a shave and start using some deodorant.'

I'm going to go and risk my life now. I can feel a sense of danger,

a sense of violence building. I'm going to go and see

some of these terrorists and find out what they're actually doing.

-Are you going to riot or...?

-No, it's a non-violent protest.

Can we use that?

And what exactly is the issue?

-Is it that no-one wants to get a job?

-Partly, yes.

What's in these balloons? Are the reports true...oh!

God, and gunshots, gunshots have been fired!

OK, it's complete anarchy here, it's total chaos.

Sir, we've heard gunshots fired on the side over there.

Going to try and get in the front of the demonstration.

There's lots of terrorists dressed as people

and now they're trying to trap me, they're trapping me

in a load of hippy-washing scum.

-If I paid you a tenner, would you say there was some violence?

-Why?

-Oh, don't film this.

What we'll see is something approaching the apocalypse.

What you can actually see is a lot of people

violently walking down the street, real dangerous atmosphere here.

But violence, more violence, and we're outside Goldman Sachs.

I just want to say, a bloody good job you're doing.

Thank God the police are protecting the banks.

Have you been warned to protect us?

Police completely struck dumb by fear.

When you will get rid of this scum and neuter them all?

The police are actually stopping people. They tried the kettle.

The kettle hasn't worked, so they're using the toaster.

What are you men doing? Are you trying to provoke a fight?

Can you just punch him? Can you just punch him?

If the hippies actually got through here and walked through,

money as we know it would be utterly destroyed

and thank God for our boys in blue.

Thank you very much, sir. This and more coming up tonight.

# I love London. #

-Hello, is this the Finnish Embassy?

-Yes, it is.

Oh, hello, is the Ambassador there?

-So, what do you want?

-Well, I've clamped your ambassadorial car

cos you owe £133,000 to congestion charge.

Many foreign embassies don't pay the London congestion charge.

They say that the congestion charge

isn't actually a charge, despite the name.

No, they say it's a tax and therefore they don't have to pay up.

They say they have diplomatic immunity.

The government says it has always made it clear

diplomatic missions aren't exempt.

This is a charge for a service. It is not a tax.

There's lots of ways this money could be spent.

Londoners should be benefiting from it

and I'm afraid the embassies just need to pay up now.

We are diplomats, we don't have to pay it.

Yeah, you're very crafty. Diplomats are incredibly crafty.

Well, tell the Ambassador we'll go for £60,000.

But just tell him to pay it or there'll be serious...

Or he'll have to take the bus and we won't let him on. All right?

Don't say we didn't warn you.

There's an extremely late fine. I've just clamped one of the...

How come you clamped it when it's our turf?

-It's not a parking issue.

-OK.

-It's a congestion charge issue.

-Yeah, one second.

-Thank you.

-Hello, mate.

-Oh, hello.

-Are you from the Embassy?

-Yeah, we all are.

-Oh, from the German Embassy?

-Yeah.

-Excellent.

There's an issue with an unpaid fine, congestion charge fine,

so I've had to clamp the diplomatic car.

Yeah. 3.6 million in congestion unpaid.

-OK.

-Yeah. Hello, sir.

-Hi.

-Are you aware how much you owe to the congestion charge?

-No.

You owe £3.6 million. You could write me a cheque right now. Yes.

-I'm not going to discuss this with you.

-OK.

-You either release this car immediately...

-Yeah, yes.

..or we will write a note to the Foreign Office

-and take down...

-Write a note?

-No, sir.

-Are you listening to me or not?

-Half price, last offer.

-Let's haggle.

-Look, I won't discuss...

-1.5 million.

-I just told you...

-OK.

-I'm not going to discuss this with you.

-1.2.

-We need to see your ID, please.

-You know the law of diplomatic immunity?

The law of diplomatic immunity says that you get to not pay your bills?

-Yes.

-Is that right?

-That's right.

-Right, OK.

If you please could listen to me,

or this is the end of our conversation.

-That's not very diplomatic of you.

-No, it's not very diplomatic of you to talk this way.

I want to try to explain something to you.

-Listen...

-If you just put... No, you listen to me.

-You listen to me.

-You could drive a scooter instead of the Beamer, sir.

Please.

# ..Money talks.

# Dirty cash I want you... #

Hi, guys, we're just collecting for GBFMYC.

Hello mate, do you have a second for GBFMYC?

We're taking money from Lloyds employees.

-Have you got a second? Do you work for RBS or Lloyds?

-I do.

Hi there, do you work for RBS? We're targeting RBS employees today.

-There's a new campaign called GBFMYC.

-Really?

Give us Back our Fucking Money You Cunts.

-It's a great campaign.

-Oh yeah?

-It's Give us Back our Fucking Money You Cunts.

-We had to bail you bastards out. You wanker.

-Fuck!

-You wanker.

-Give me Back our Fucking Money You Cunts.

-Are you serious?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah. It's going back to the taxpayer, you see.

-Fuck off.

-Yeah.

Were you one of the guys who did really well

-or was rewarded for failure? Which one were you?

-Um...

-Do you work for Lloyds?

-Yeah.

-Can I give you one of these stickers?

-Sure.

-Says, "I fucked the economy."

In these times, there are going to be winners and losers.

In 2005, billionaire Sir Philip Green banked the biggest cheque in corporate history,

when his Arcadia fashion business, which owns Dorothy Perkins,

Miss Selfridge and Top Shop,

paid out 1.2 billion in corporate profit.

This record-breaking payment went to Arcadia's owner,

his wife, the lovely Tina.

Because Tina lives in Monaco,

they avoided an estimated 285 million in income tax.

That 285 million would pay for 11,000 nurses' salaries.

That or 12,000 more police constables,

who could protect Sir Phil and his shop,

should protesters come demanding that he pays a fair share of taxes.

Check out the new offshore range.

Get the offshore look. It's totally Monaco.

It's so PAYE.

Hi, darling. Seen anything you like yet?

-Last year was a bit kind of punk.

-Yeah.

-You know?

And this year we want to be, I don't know, a bit, you know,

a bit tax avoidance, a bit yacht.

-So, so offshore, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Look at that. Yeah, really offshore.

-Right? I mean, who's got a yacht...

-Exactly.

-..and pays tax? Nobody.

It's a really Green garment, actually,

like all the proceeds from this go to fund Green projects overseas.

-Oh, cool.

-Yeah, yachts, villas, swimming pools. Yeah.

Yeah, it's made in Romania and all the profits remain overseas,

which I think's a good thing.

Sorry, I'm just off the plane from Monaco.

Did you get the call from Head Office about me coming here?

-I mean, they've been giving these out on Oxford Street all day.

-OK.

It's just it's going to be a nationwide thing. Thanks, yeah.

If you can just leave it here.

You know, we're going to start bringing these in to most of the stores.

-Well, it's called the Monaco look.

-Monaco look?

-Yeah, absolutely.

Can you just help me get it into the window?

Is that all right? There. I think there's good.

Let me just have a look and see what that looks like.

Spin it round.

Yeah, that's great. That's great. It's really offshore.

I like it. I like it. I like how offshore that looks.

I think this is exactly what we were going for, really. That's great.

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah, hallelujah

# Halle-lujah! #

Could I ask you to sign the petition to make Tony Blair a saint?

We just want to make Tony Blair... Tony Blair a saint?

-Why would I want Tony Blair to become a saint?

-Why wouldn't you?

He delivered us from evil.

He performs miracles, he's like Jesus.

He sleeps with Cherie Blair. He brought democracy to the Middle East.

And Tony Blair turns an after dinner speech into £100,000 like that.

And with his brother Bush,

they did go unto the Holy Land,

and they did spread democracy from the skies.

-We have a bomb, bomb.

-Bomb, yes. Democracy bombs, yes.

And he's a really inspired man,

going against so much public opinion to do something so great.

How many killed? How many people killed in Iraq?

He stood fast in the face of no evidence.

How many people he killed in Iraq?

Stood fast in the face of no UN resolution.

Why he send his Royal Navy to kill the children in Iraq?

To bring democracy.

No democracy, here is democracy. Don't talk rubbish.

He just went ahead and did God's work.

-There's a killing every day.

-Where are you from?

-I'm from Iraq.

Oh, you must be so grateful to Tony.

That's why I'm not going back. I'm scared.

If I go back, they'll kill me.

Oh, hello. Just come to deliver this stained glass window to Tony.

So you're not fitting it or anything today, you're just delivering it?

I mean, I could just stand out here and do it from... It's more about me

getting up there to measure it against the...

-Have you got a ladder or shall I...?

-Have you got one?

-Come in.

-Oh, brilliant. OK, thanks.

Erm...

Thanks very much.

-Oh, you need that?

-It's just to measure it against

the thing, really.

Yeah.

-It's a bit small, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's too small.

Needs to go all the way around, yeah. We'll have to re-fit it.

I'll send someone round to re-measure it.

Thanks for the ladder, anyway. Thanks a lot. Great.

Thanks.

How's it going? We're from the Foundation for the Glorification of Tony Blair.

We're trying to speak to the cardinals in Rome

to see if we can get him a sainthood.

That's the plan.

Oh, really, what I need to do is kneel.

Our Tony, peacemaker, hallowed be his name.

# We shall overcome. #

After all that hard work getting the A-level results you need

to go to university, the Government are going to slap you with a nine grand a year bill for studying there.

Before you start cursing Cameron and Clegg,

have a think about the University of Wormwood Scrubs,

where the Government won't charge you a penny.

This marvellous institution has it all.

Excellent libraries, private study areas,

plenty of peace and quiet

and regular sporting activities.

And it's absolutely free!

No maintenance costs. No tuition fees.

Nothing. So, to guarantee your place,

all you have to do is tackle our entrance exam.

And it couldn't be simpler!

Just smash open a Dixons or FootLocker, steal a few pairs

of trainers and Bob's your uncle!

You'll be hitting the University of Wormwood Scrubs in no time!

And you won't need four A stars to get in.

Most prisons will take students with a couple of iPads,

a digital camera and a flat-screen TV.

So, relax this summer,

don't stress about getting two Es and a D, sod Clearing.

Don't get ideas above your station,

get taken down to your local police station!

This is Dale Maily and today, in this special investigation,

I'm getting into the heart of the story of Occupy.

Hippies everywhere. Hippies running all over the street.

We don't know what's happening. Violent running all over the place.

Look, I could just see this violent running everywhere.

There's two lines. One of the boys in blue

and another one of the hippies.

The hippies are kettling them but they're kettling them right back.

It's a huge kettle-off.

There's kettling going on here and kettling going on there

and suddenly I'm being pushed by the police into a big kettle.

Oh, they're kettling me! Oh, I've been kettled!

There's running, the police running after the hippies.

It could be the end of money as we know it. I'm embedded. Embedded.

Embedded with the hippies. Come on, hippy, let's go.

I know you've never run before. OK, come on. Running with the hippies.

When you're embedded with the hippies,

is what you realise is they're actually human beings.

-They wear clothes and they eat food. Do you eat food?

-I eat food.

We're running with the hippies!

I've been embedded with the hippies for quite a while now

and what I'm realising is that they sweat like humans.

They're incredibly fast, fast animals, but they stink.

In front of us, actually, there's a proto-pygmy-hippy with a sign.

Now, they were the early form of hippy gestated in the 1960s.

-Hi, hippy. How are you?

-Sorry.

OK, that one was a bit scared and shy.

They move in herds, as you can see.

Hippy on a bike there.

-They live off disappointment and greed. How are you, madam?

-Average.

-Are you a man or a woman?

-Yes.

What are you doing here today?

We're just sort of protesting against the current system.

Right, shouldn't you guys go back to Surrey or...?

-How's it going here, peeps?

-Fuck off!

My name is Dale Maily.

-Hello, Dale!

-I'm sorry, hippies, but today you lost.

Money won and it's time to go home and have a bath.

Do we all agree with that?

-CROWD:

-No!

This is Dale Maily getting inside the story.

Hi, mate. We're taking money from GBLYs today.

-Which is what?

-Greedy Bankers Like You.

-MAN LAUGHS

-You cheeky bastard!

It's a charity. We're just basically trying to get the money back that...

-Yeah.

-..we bailed you out with.

-If I could sign you up for our courses in economics, so you don't fuck it up again?

-What?

Could I say, "Give us back our fucking money, please?"

-Would that still be...?

-It's still...

Heard of taxpayers? It's for them.

-Would you like one of our leaflets, Greedy Bankers Say No?

-No, thank you.

-No? Oh.

Hi, mate. We're just raising money for a school around the corner.

With a donation of £4,000 a month,

we wouldn't even come close to saving it

cos we bailed you bastards out instead.

-BBC.

-OMG.

-WTF.

BBC WMG OMT.

I'm here with my most favouritest actor ever, Lenny Henry.

You're my absolute favouritest.

-My most favouritest actor. You are lovely.

-Nice to see you.

-You're my absolute most favourite. You are my favouritest.

-Aww!

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG.

You look fabulous tonight. What are you wearing?

-What are you wearing tonight? What are you wearing?

-Tom Ford.

-You're looking absolutely dapper tonight.

-Thanks, cheers.

So, on a serious note, what would you do about the Irish bailout?

-Ah.

-On a serious note - Africa.

What would you say about the NHS being privatised?

INHALES SHARPLY

Now, you've thrown me. I don't...I don't...

Is that an exclusive?

MUSIC: "The Debt Collector" by Blur

Jubilee rubbish.

Cheap Jubilee tat. Buy your tat here.

Buy it today, throw it away tomorrow.

Overpriced Jubilee tat, taking advantage of the celebrations to make some money. Overpriced tat?

Celebrate your grovelling servitude to the Queen.

Coronation corgi in a black bean sauce?

Sauteed swan?

Prince Harry DNA tests!

Don't say you got it from me

but would you like a Prince Harry Nazi armband?

-They went like hotcakes.

-I don't know.

Prince Andrew's new DVD -

How To Buy Friends And Influence People. Teaches you

how to cosy up to arms dealers and dictators all round the world.

-How about a Pippa Middleton social climbing stepladder?

-Oh, yes.

-I'm now working class. Step one, middle class.

-My God!

-Step three and I'm positively upper class.

-My God!

Look at me looking down on you.

How about a royal sick bag in case you feel nauseated

at the cost of the Royal Family?

-How much is that?

-I'll give you them free.

That's for you, sir.

Oh, the tea towel is all the Queen's dictator friends.

Unelected but invited to her dinner parties.

-King of Bahrain, currently slaughtering his population.

-Yeah?

Came round the other day.

This is the King of Swaziland, he's banned all political parties.

In 2010, the British public was treated

to its first coalition government since the end of the Second World War.

An unequal coming together of David Cameron's Conservative Party,

who have pretty much most of the power,

and that other party with Nick Clegg.

It can be a historic and seismic shift in our political landscape.

In this series, we follow two of the coalition's

lesser known MPs - Conservative James Twattington-Burbage

and Liberal Democrat Barnaby Plankton -

as we try to understand just how this relationship could possibly work.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Today, James and Barnaby

are at the Liberal Democrats' party conference in Newcastle.

For the first time in Liberal Democrat history,

someone important is attending their conference.

Yeah, I'm at the Lib-Dem party conference.

-James.

-Barnaby.

-Barnaby. Hi.

-How are you?

-Got a bit of a splitter, actually.

-Bit of a headache?

-Yeah.

-That's a shame.

Shall we get a couple of pints or...?

Oh, well, it's only 11, but I was hoping perhaps we could

talk about some policies first, some of the stands.

-I'd like to show you down here first.

-Yep, sure.

-Do you know where the VIP room is?

-DELEGATE:

-I'm sorry, I don't.

Vince. Hello.

Do you want to go and get a coffee together?

I'm waiting for my special advisor.

Sure. Well, could you get me a coffee first?

No, I would love to. I'm trying not to get committed to anything

before the middle of the afternoon.

I think I'll just be milling in the middle,

but if you could just get me a latte

and then sit down, that'd be great.

Well, I...when I get some feedback from my people, I'll...

-Great. But you'll get me a latte then?

-Well, if I can find you.

So you'll bring me a latte if you can find me?

-I'll try, yeah.

-OK, great. All right, good boy, cheers.

Could I ask you a question? We're trying to work out how we can talk down to women

-and still get their vote. What do you think...?

-Talk down to women?

-As a Tory...

-What James is trying to say is he's rather tall,

-so inevitably he'll be talking down to a lot of women.

-Yes, cos I'm tall.

-Without seeming as if you were talking down.

-Exactly, yes.

You know, he's outrageous but quite charming, actually.

I'm just glad you've got a chap like Nick leading you,

who does what he...

I wouldn't give him the time of day.

-I think we have to stop.

-He's doing a great job.

He's doing what needs to be done for the country, ridding us of our public services.

-Yeah.

-Which is...

-Would you mind taking your rubbish somewhere else before I get rude?

As an organisation, we represent sexual and gender minorities,

including lesbian, gay, bi and trans.

I wanted to come over and chat to you,

cos I thought I might have had some feelings for another man.

-Erm...

-Problem is, he's a Tory.

Some things are acceptable and some go beyond the bounds.

-We couldn't have done it without you.

-No, you couldn't.

So thank you very much. Appreciate it.

-We'll probably be with Labour next time.

-Well, I hope not.

Well, that's the way the figures are looking.

It's not that uncomfortable, us being in bed together, is it?

This summer's Olympic Games generated vast amounts

of excitement in the UK.

Expected to come in at £11 billion,

was it worth it?

The Olympics Act protected the Olympics from companies

associating themselves with the Games,

something that would have helped taxpaying local businesses.

The only water you could buy was sold by official sponsor Coca-Cola.

In the spirit of the world's largest sporting event,

a nation fighting obesity had one of the world's largest McDonald's

installed in the heart of the Olympic Park.

You couldn't even wear your own clothes

if they were associated with any political expression.

-Can you take a photo of us?

-Yeah.

-Thanks, dude.

-Thanks.

-Thanks.

-Keep moving, please.

-OK, done it.

-Thanks, man. That's great.

You're not allowed to take that T-shirt in, sir. I'm sorry.

I didn't take the picture because you won't be allowed to take this T-shirt in.

Specifically when it comes to advertising

or some sort of protests, we're not letting the T-shirts in.

This isn't a protest. It's just a T-shirt.

-Why is that damaging?

-Because you've got the Olympic Games there,

and it says, "Poisoning the Olympic Games."

-Let's just get rid of this.

-Would these be all right?

-Would that be OK?

-How about that?

-Would that be all right?

-You won't be able to come in with that as well, I'm afraid.

-Why not?

-Why not?

For the same reason! And also, I won't let you take them in, either, so if you put it in your bag...

-Oh, well, what about this one?

-This is just true.

-That's not true.

-That is true.

-That's not true.

-That's totally true.

-Bloody is!

Athletes don't eat McDonalds, bro. You need to take it easy.

You're really just getting a bit intense. What about this?

What about that?

-Er, you can wear that in.

-Really?

-Why?

-Oh, we can wear this?

But why can we wear this?

I don't think that's anything to do with the Olympic Games.

-Free Scotland, got it?

-It's free speech.

There's that. Can we come in with that?

-What about that?

-Free Mandela?

-Well, that's a bit of a stupid one.

-Why?

-Why?

-Obviously!

-He's free, is he not?

-That's a matter of opinion.

Would you let us in with this one?

No, I don't think I'd let that one in either.

Why's that? They're just words, that's just a word.

I don't understand, because this is just what you're saying.

-Yeah.

-I want to come in.

-I love the Olympics.

-Show me your ticket.

-Here.

-OK.

-Come on, this is... We agree with you.

-Have you just confiscated our tickets?

-I think I just have.

-Why've you confiscated them?

-Just cos we've got cool T-shirts?

-MAN LAUGHS

-Yeah.

-So to confirm, you've confiscated them...

-Yes.

-..cos we wore some T-shirts.

No, I've confiscated your tickets because you've shown me intent of a bit of naughtiness, with respect.

-Right.

-"Intent for naughtiness!"

-Is that in LOCOG's...?

-I'm not sure that's LOCOG's manifesto.

-I think it is. It is. It definitely is.

-Intent for naughtiness?

There's nothing I like better than dressing up in T-shirts

-and going to the hockey.

-I don't understand it.

-How annoying.

This year, the British spy agency MI6

came under investigation by the police after its agents

were accused of rounding up Libyan rebels

and sending them to Colonel Gaddafi's torture chambers.

Former Guantanamo Bay inmates have made many other allegations

of UK complicity in torture and extraordinary rendition.

Rendition is the abduction and illegal transfer of a person

from one country to another and, regardless of whether

you're a milkman, a baker or a spy,

rendition and torture are completely illegal under British law.

Eigen spugel, I'm Raffe van der Koont.

R-R-R-Raffe van der Koont, and welcome to my new show,

Filth, on Double Fist TV.

Totally radical prolapse.

There's a new sado-masochisto scene

that's been getting hard for a while,

so I decided to come to London to get down on it.

G-GGGet down on it.

-Ralph Billington-Smythe...

-Hi.

-..who's got a crazy new night called DWT.

-Yeah.

Who's the creator and the originator of it.

Tonight in Vauxhall,

-are you into facial slaps and holds and general humiliation?

-I love it.

Are you into being humiliated?

-Not when I'm having a cup of tea.

-Oh, OK.

So basically all the kind of crazy shit the Americans and British

are doing to people in secret prisons all around the world, allegedly.

-Yeah, I think legal under the UN convention on torture.

-God, I love human rights.

S-SSSexy.

Pretty fucked up stuff in Vauxhall tonight, DWT.

What is the deal with this name, DWT?

Well, Raffe, it means "detained without trial".

DWT. Tonight, Vauxhall.

Rad-Rad-Radical prolapse. I can't believe it.

I'm outside the fucking MI6.

So how come you're here tonight?

Well, we've heard about all the things we're allowed

-to ask for, like stress holds, slaps...

-Ugh!

Waterboarding, confinement.

Who wants to get a bit of waterboarding? ALL: Yeah!

Do it now! I want to party!

That's absolutely right. We do it to them,

even though it's totally illegal under the human rights.

Why just the Muslims? Why not me?

OK, we're going to go with Ralph.

-Uh, u-u-u-uh, yeah.

-Hi, hello.

Are you sure you booked this club?

I booked the club. I put down a deposit.

If you let us in, I'll split the door takings.

-£400 in it for you.

-I don't know what's going on.

He looks like he's tripping but I'm starting to freak out.

I mean, I just put two grams of MDMA up my asshole. Radical prolapse.

Hello. Can you let us in please?

-RECEPTIONIST:

-No, piss off.

Let us in. Just come down, come down.

-Why won't you let me into the club? RECEPTIONIST:

-Go away, you idiot.

Why won't you let me into the nightclub?

I've heard MI6 is the sexiest torturisty place around.

POLICE SIREN

-Let's go, let's go talk to the police quickly.

-OK.

-Oh, the police are coming this way.

-I don't know what's going on.

Were you part of the hired entertainment?

GIRLS: # We want torture... #

Can we not give him a good spanking too?

-Trying to get in. Can you help me get in?

-No.

-No, but honestly, can you help me get in?

-No, I can't.

-Come on, why not?

BBBest torture club in town.

-Is that what you think?

-Yeah, absolutely.

-Is this a nightclub or what?

-Not a nightclub, no.

Where's my producer? This is a joke, not even a nightclub.

No, what you doing? Where you going?

Apparently, MI6 isn't even a nightclub,

it's a place where people get thrown into cells

with no really legal trials, but hey,

that's the British legal system for you.

This is Raffe van der Wig for - give it to me, radical prolapse,

Double Fist TV on my way to Amsterdam.

Yeeeeeeeah.

Dave. Yeah, boring. Yeah.

Oh, the card. Yeah, I'll give him the card.

All right, yeah, OK. Cheers, chap.

Yeah, I've got it here.

"Thank you from Dave and George, we couldn't do it without you."

Yep. And inside it says,

"Dear Lib Dems, thanks for everything you've done for the party.

"We couldn't have done it without you."

-HE LAUGHS

-"Best, Dave and George." God, what boys, eh?

Danny, just wanted to say thank you.

Just to say we couldn't have done it without you.

From the Conservative Party,

thank you because the more votes you get, the less votes Ken gets.

-It's been a bloody good time.

-OK, just going in...

Sure, but we just wanted to say,

"Dear Danny, thanks for everything, couldn't have done it without you."

George and Dave wanted to say this coalition's been fantastic

and you did a bloody good job while you were in there.

-CHRIS HUHNE LAUGHS

-Right.

-Just wanted to say thanks so much, couldn't have done it without you.

-You're being slightly embarrassing.

Vince. Hello.

Just wanted to say thanks so much for everything you've done.

-Right.

-We just wanted to give you a lovely card,

say thank you and that we couldn't have done it without you.

-Right.

-It says, "Dear Vince,

"thank you for everything that you've done for the party.

-"We couldn't have done it without you. Best, from..."

-Oh, right.

-"..David and George."

-VINCE CABLE LAUGHS

-Oh, OK!

MUSIC: "I Fought The Law" by The Clash

# Breakin' rocks in the hot sun

# I fought the law and the law won

# I fought the law and the law won

# I needed money cos I had none

# I fought the law and the law won

# I fought the law and the law won

# I fought the law and the... #

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