Episode 3 Tracey Breaks the News

Hello, Philip.

Won't be a moment, dear.

Just deleting some porn.

What?

It's a joke.

One of my joke thingies.

Remember I made one once before?

Oh...Oh, yes.

So, how was your cross-party

sleaze meeting?

Me, Jeremy Corbyn and Vince Cable

in a room together.

What do you think?

Didn't go well, then?

No, on the contrary,

we made serious progress.

If we can just get the whole

of Westminster to be as utterly

devoid of sexual tension as that

room, job done!

This news just in...

The markets don't like uncertainty.

Oil pipeline in the pipeline.

Let me be clear.

Off the record.

How do I put this?

And the answer is, we're out!

# She wants to be like

She wants to see like

# She wants to walk

a mile in their shoes

# Every day a new sensation

How to break it to the nation?

# Tracey's gonna break the news

# She wants to save it

She wants to claim it

# She really hopes that

nobody sues

# Every day a new sensation

Take it to the waiting nation

# She's gonna faking

well break the news...#

Come!

Right, three minutes

to studio, Mrs O.

Anything I can do for you?

A tea, a coffee?

Go over the new rules again?

I think I've got them now, darling.

So, half the singers

sing on the Saturday

and half on the Sunday,

and then there's a sing-off

between the worst two singers.

The best.

Ah!

No, that's right.

The best singers go head to head

to see who gets kicked off.

No.

To see who wins.

Yes.

To see who wins the show.

No, who wins the prize.

Oh, that's right.

Yes, there's a prize

now, so no-one loses.

Uh, no.

More people do lose.

I thought more people won?

Well, yes, but more people win less,

so we lose more losers

while seeing more winners.

Oh!

Agh...

For the love of God,

who came up with these rules?!

Simon did.

After he fell down

the stairs and hit his head.

Well, can someone just explain them

to me in words I can understand?

SLURRED:

Sharon, it's easy.

You go round and round and round...

HE RAMBLES.

..judges' houses, and all

the people going...

HE RAMBLES.

..and a live final, Sharon.

Well, it's simple when

you put it like that.

Can you get that written

onto a card for me?

Thanks, sweetheart.

GERMAN NATIONAL ANTHEM PLAYS.

Oh, Birgit, what a day.

I am so tired of all this

Fisten-Cuffen and German politics.

Why can we not just

form a coalition?

Ah, you will do it,

mein Chancellor-ette.

After all, who just tops the Forbes

list of the 100 Most Powerful Women?

Me.

Angela Merkel.

You don't look very happy about it.

Aren't you hipping the hoorays?

I won last year!

I've been there, done that,

bought the Lederhosen.

But so many great

women are below you.

Beyonce is only number 50.

That was before they announced

the cast of The Lion King remake.

By now, she'd be a solid 35.

But aren't you even

eine kleine bit happy?

Nein!

Because the Forbes 100 is easy.

Where is my name on the list

of 100 Hottest Women?

Can't they see that I am sexy

as well as powerful?

Like Wonder Woman!

Maybe you're looking

in the wrong place.

Do you think that this outfit

is beige enough, Birgit?

Do you think we should

beige it up some more?

Ah, look here, mein Chancellor-ette.

A Lad Bible poll of celebrity

crushes, you are number 28.

Oh, let me see.

Unlikely crushes!

SHE SIGHS.

This is an outrage!

Listen, you are a powerful woman mit

important things to do.

Forget this fluff.

There are fresh concerns about the

Kremlin interfering in Catalonia.

You should write a strong

and lengthy statement.

Wait!

Could that be the answer?

Has the Kremlin been interfering

with the FHM Sexiest Women poll?

Ja.

Ja!

They are trying to undermine

the West by lying

about your total hotness.

Oh, what a relief.

I feel so much better.

Let me see this most

powerful list again.

Oh, look, Theresa May is number 2.

Send her a memo.

Just write, "Better

luck next year, bitch!"

You see, I'm throwing the shade

on her, like Wonder Woman.

Have you actually seen that film?

Nein,

I don't have Netflixen.

BBC NEWS THEME PLAYS.

Oh, hello.

There goes another one.

Following unauthorised contact

with Israeli officials,

International Development Secretary

Priti Patel resigned in a meeting

with the PM on Wednesday.

Well, we think it was Wednesday

that she met the PM.

She probably met her on Monday

and Tuesday as well but didn't

bother telling anyone.

MILITARY DRUMMING.

ORDERS SHOUTED.

Defence Secretary.

Where?

Oh, right, that's me, isn't it?

Sorry.

New to the job.

Major General Edwards.

Where?

Oh, right, is that you?

Sorry.

I just wasn't expecting a...

Yes.

Yeah.

Gavin Williamson.

And this is the Army, then?

It is.

Right.

So, where do you keep the boats?

No, that's the Navy.

That's the Navy.

Right.

Yeah.

Boats equals Navy.

Sorry, I am still slightly playing

catch-up with the details.

I wasn't really expecting to

suddenly become Defence Secretary.

This time last week,

I was in the Chief Whip's office,

you know, with my pet spider.

Your...?

Sorry.

Kronos, this is Major

General Edwards.

Major General Edwards,

this is Kronos.

Yeah, so last week,

I was just Weird Spider Guy,

and now I'm in charge of the full

might of Her Majesty's Armed Forces.

It's insane, eh?

Utterly.

Anyway, the upshot is,

I've suddenly had to swot up

on the Army and Navy.

And Air Force.

There's an air force as well?

Right.

OK.

Well, I'm learning already.

I'll have the hang

of this in no time.

Right, should I go

and address the troops?

If you'd like.

I'm sure they'd be delighted

to hear from a man of such

uncommon experience.

They're this way.

Right you are.

That's a Cub Scout salute.

Right.

What is the proper salute?

It's Army, Navy, Air Force.

Ah.

Ah, so my next-door neighbour thinks

I'm in the Air Force!

I'm glad I asked.

I can't tell you how

helpful this has been.

It's been my absolute pleasure.

Now, are there any other questions?

Yes, can Kronos be your

new regimental mascot?

No.

OK.

Can I have a gun?

No.

Fair enough.

Right, then, ready?

Absolutely.

Don't worry.

They may look like

trained killers...

But?

There's no but.

Oh, right.

Well, here we go.

Oh, and there's a medal

to give out this morning,

so make your way to the front

and ask to see Private Parts.

I want to see Private Parts.

Right, got it.

Ha!

Hello, Sexy Bum.

It's Camilla.

Can you see me?

TYRES SCREECH.

Well, hold it a bit lower.

I can only see your bald spot.

Ah, that's better!

What do you mean, bad news?

Don't worry, I sorted it.

I took all your investment paperwork

down to the hunt kennels.

Hounds have shredded the bally lot.

What other thing?

Not another bloody Diana tape?!

Last year, they found an unseen clip

where she sneezed and they built

a 90-minute documentary around it.

What did?

Oh, the Royal Variety Performance?

No bally way!

We went last year.

It's someone else's turn.

Does Edward still exist?

What about Kate and William?

I bet they've said

she's still puking.

I mean, I've opened fetes

with chronic thrush

AND a three-bottle hangover.

You just have to get on with it.

SIREN WAILS.

Oh, hang on.

About bloody time!

We've had reports that you're

driving erratically.

Well, of course I'm

driving erratically.

I'm FaceTiming hubby,

I've got a sleeping dog

in the footwell and I'm trying

to get through this traffic in time

to watch Homes Under The Hammer.

Police escort?

I should think so, too!

New from MP Games, the game

for women in Parliament of all ages.

It's...Guess Who's Next!

Test your deductive skills

as you try to work out

which of your colleagues

will be disgraced next.

Is it a white middle-class man?

Yes.

It's fun for all the family,

except for unaccompanied women.

Does he have a wife?

Yeah.

Does he care?

No.

Is it...?

No, but I can see why

you'd think that.

Is it...?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

Yeah.

That's pretty much what I'd heard.

Guess Who's Next?, the game

you can keep playing

until the culture changes.

Hi, Karen?

You must be James.

Welcome to HMRC.

You don't have to be

mad to work here...

But it helps?

Why would it help?

No, sorry.

Good point.

Right, first things first.

You'll need to get rid of that.

Sorry.

No, your phone.

What?

It's Apple, isn't it?

Since we investigate corporate

giants who play the system to avoid

paying any meaningful tax in the UK,

we can't really be seen

to use their products, can we?

So...

Don't worry.

If you need to make any

calls, you can use mine.

But the 9's missing,

so try not to start any fires.

Right.

Where did you get the coffee from?

Starbucks.

We don't see many of their bucks

coming our way, do we?

Bin!

Headphones?

Amazon.

SHE SIGHS.

Now, what about this suit?

Looks like Gap to me.

Well, yeah, but I got it off eBay.

eBay?!

Bin!

I hope you're not a fan

of Bono or anything.

James,

where did you get the underpants?

M&S.

Oh, thank God for that.

You can keep them on.

Whew.

BBC NEWS THEME PLAYS.

Formula 1 world champion

Lewis Hamilton has been

accused of avoiding tax

on his £16 million private jet,

despite his lawyer deeming

the transaction to be lawful.

Honestly!

You set up a company in the Isle

of Man to lease your plane

to a firm in Farnborough,

who rent the same plane back

to you via your other

company in Guernsey,

and people try to make out there's

something dodgy going on?

The time is...

Ooh, I can have the other

half of that Twix.

Here we go.

See, you look relaxed

and natural there.

Philip, that's a Madame

Tussaud's waxwork.

The real me would never be standing

next to Boris AND smiling.

Could be worse.

They could have put

you next to Trump.

Ha-ha!

Philip, that's not funny.

I have to Skype him now

and discuss the arrangements.

Has anyone actually told

Trump that his royal

visit's no longer royal?

Well, I'll add it to my list

of things I need to speak

firmly to him about.

Now, which button?

This.

This one?

Mm-hm.

SKYPE DIALS.

Oh, he's not there.

Never mind.

I'll try next month.

Hello?

SHE GROANS.

BRIGHTLY: How are you, Mr President?

I'm in another country.

It's called Asia.

It's really exotic and different.

What have you been doing?

Playing golf and eating hamburgers.

Can I have those on my royal

visit to England-land?

Actually, your trip's been

adjusted to a working visit.

But I still get to ride

in a gold carriage, right?

And I want to meet Duchess

Kate, but not if she's

still carrying baby fat.

I have high standards,

the highest.

Donald, there's some things I really

need to speak to you about.

First, I have a question,

and it's a very normal question.

Are you wearing a wire?

No, I'm not wearing a wire.

Good.

Although I've got

nothing to worry about.

Papadopoulos was very low level,

I hardly knew Manafort,

didn't even realise

he was my campaign manager

or long-term friend.

I see.

All these people are low level.

Take Ivanka.

She's a low-level volunteer daughter

from an old wife who I fired

before the campaign,

a campaign I did not

know much about.

I left that all to the Russians.

Look, I have some things to say

to you, and I intend to say them.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.

When you come here, I insist

you don't grab anyone

by the you-know-what,

link moped crime to Islamic

terrorism or threaten nuclear wars

that may or may not incinerate

the Northern Hemisphere.

There, I've said it,

and we can tell the press that

I stood up to you and that I'm

strong, which I am.

I hope I didn't go too far.

Did I go to far?

Please, can we still

have a trade deal?

What was that?

I wasn't listening.

I was doing a tweet about how

we should kill all of America's

judges, even the ones

from America's Got Talent.

Right.

Well, it's always

good to talk to you.

Theresa, it's always

good to be on Fox News.

I'm not Fox News.

I'm the British Prime

Minister, remember?

So that's why you're not hot?

OK, what button kills the call?

Is it this one?

SHE SIGHS.

Someone get me...

# She's going to faking

well break the news...#

Alexis, what's the

weather like today?

OLD WOMAN:

Back in my day,

we didn't have all this technology,

and we seemed to get

along just fine.

Introducing the all-new

Alexis Senior Edition.

Alexis, what's playing

at the local cinema?

Oh, you don't want to go out.

That Mrs Brown's on tonight.

Do you know she's actually

a man in a dress?

If you're missing having that

elderly parent around,

then the Alexis Senior

is perfect for you.

Alexis, call Trevor.

Is that your new fancy man?

If I'd had more than one fella

in my life, I'd have

been called a slapper,

but I suppose times change.

Alexis, call Trevor!

Oh, that reminds me,

you'll never guess who

else has got cancer?

The new Alexis Senior Edition.

Alexis, book a taxi in five minutes.

Ooh, I don't know,

everyone's in such a hurry nowadays.

Now 50% more reactionary.

Alexis, dim lights.

And shall I also put

the temperature up?

I expect it's usually hotter

than this where he comes from.

Really?!

I'm sorry about her.

She won't be around much longer.

Typical!

And she promised she'd

never put me in a home!

Excuse me.

I'm Dr Michael Townsend,

British Heritage.

I'm Lady Yaxley, chair of the Public

Statues Review Commission.

Very, very nice to meet you.

What exactly is going on here?

Well, quite simply, we're

going to blow up Nelson's Column.

What?

No doubt you've heard

about all the hoo-ha in America

with the Confederate statues,

and the Cecil Rhodes in Oxford?

Well, the Government is super-keen

to avoid offending anyone right now,

so they've asked me to have a gander

at all the statues in Britain

and work out which one is going

to cause the next big stink.

But Nelson's Column?

Because of the admiral's

links to the slave trade.

That's just political

posturing, surely?

Nevertheless, we think it's

best to err on the safe

side and blow it up.

You can't do that.

He was a great naval tactician,

died a hero's death.

I mean, he was also a strong

supporter of the slave trade,

but then this statue doesn't

celebrate his support

of the slave trade,

though it could be seen

as condoning it, so...

It's a very complicated question.

Exactly.

And what very complicated questions

need are very simple answers.

I think we dodged a bullet there.

On we go!

BBC NEWS THEME PLAYS.

This is Simone Fredericks,

and I've been awake so long I can't

drive myself home.

Prince Harry's girlfriend,

Meghan Markle, is set to move

to London, prompting speculation

that the couple are

to become engaged.

Click here for Meghan's

diet and beauty tips.

Uh, somebody has just

copied and pasted Buzzfeed

onto the autocue there.

Can we stop doing that?

Nicola, why are we meeting here?

It's proper bracing.

Almost too bracing.

Ah, there's no such thing as too

bracing, Wee Mhairi.

I've brought you here

because I'm going to take

you on a little sea voyage.

I want to show you

something important.

THEME FROM COAST PLAYS.

Do you know who the bane

of my life is, Wee Mhairi?

Jimmy Krankie?

Because people keep

saying you look like her.

No, you daft dobber.

Theresa May.

Not only did she put

the kibosh on indyref2,

but thanks to her hopeless Brexit

shenanigans, Scotland's

being pulled out of Europe

whether we like it or not.

And we do not.

Oh, but don't worry,

I'm going to cut a few back-door

deals with our European neighbours

so Scotland is protected

when the Brex-shit hits the fan.

Our European neighbours?

I've a crack team beavering away

in a top-secret offshore location.

Is it the Orkneys?

Yeah, yeah, it's the Orkneys.

Oh.

It's just such a beautiful

holiday destination.

People say that.

What can you actually do there?

There's loads to do there.

Like what?

Oh, walking.

Hiking.

Strolling.

Wandering.

Roaming.

Aye, the roaming's dead good.

This way, Wee Mhairi.

DOOR CREAKS.

Behold the Scottish

Partisan Operations Room

for European Negotiations -

SPORREN.

It looks just like a call centre.

It is a call centre.

Then why does it have

to be so far away?

Well, we've got to stay under

Theresa May's radar,

because what we're doing

here might not be

strictly constitutional.

Hello, this is Morag

calling from the ancient

country of Scotland.

I understand you've been involved

in a Brexit that wasn't your fault.

I wonder if I could interest

you in a political alliance at all?

Hello, is that the

Dutch Cabinet Office?

I'm calling from the SNP

on behalf of Nicola Sturgeon,

the First Minister of Scotland.

It's part of the UK.

The bit above England.

No, no, no, we want

to stay with you!

Nicola, I think I've got you a lead.

Brilliant.

It's the Cultural

Minister of Slovenia.

He said he'd consider a meeting

if you can get him tickets

to the next Biffy Clyro tour.

At least I think

that's what he said.

He's quite hard to understand.

Right, give me the phone there.

Hello, it's Nicola

Sturgeon from the SNP.

We're a pro-European

constitutional organisation and...

Hello?

I AM speaking English.

Aye.

Hello?

Hello?

He's hung up.

Why on earth couldn't

he understand me?

Do you think it could be anything

to do with you saying Scotland

wants to be an independent country

with a proud nationalist agenda,

whilst simultaneously denying

the primacy of national borders

by claiming you want to be

an enthusiastic part

of the European Union?

Shut it, Wee Mhairi,

and go for a long roam.

Have you recently been

outed as a sex pest?

Would you like to pretend your

disgusting behaviour

is the result of an illness,

rather than you're just

being a total shit?

Then why not check into

the Some Sort of Therapy Centre?

The Some Sort of Therapy Centre

is Europe's leading facility

for everyone from shamed Hollywood

producers to shamed

Hollywood actor-producers.

Our team of, presumably, therapists

is here to help you tell the world,

"It's OK, I'm dealing

with this myself.

"No need for the police."

It's the perfect place to relax,

unwind and avoid facing

the consequences of your actions.

Our range of treatments

includes

counselling,

or something like that,

meditation, probably,

and generally keeping a low profile

till the heat's off.

But don't take my word for it.

Here's just one of our

self-satisfied customers.

Before I came here, everyone

was calling me a sex criminal,

which seemed wrong to me somehow.

But the Some Sort of Therapy Centre

made me realise that I'm

actually a sex addict,

which means I bear no

responsibility for all

the horrible things I've done.

So come to the Some Sort

of Therapy Centre and take

the first step to a new you,

who's exactly the same as the old

you but hopefully not facing prison.

# Oh, cavolo nero #.

Hello, John.

Jeremy, what's going on here?

Well, my brassicas are flourishing,

but that's autumn for you.

We're meant to be prepping

you for Prime Minister's Questions.

I only found out you were in your

allotment because you checked

yourself in on Facebook.

Let's just take it down

a notch, shall we?

The workers.

The workers.

If I didn't get out here

now and again, I feel

like I spend my entire life telling

adoring crowds that I intend

to build a fairer Britain,

a Britain where the nation's

resources are not hoarded

by the elite but shared

equally in a spirit

of democracy and justice.

# Oh, Jeremy Corbyn #.

And I wouldn't want that.

Let's just get on with it, shall we?

I've got all the "I've had an e-mail

from so-and-so"s here.

Shall we just go through them?

Yeah, if you like.

OK.

There's one here about

Boris Johnson's gaffe

regarding that woman in Iran.

That sounds good.

Except the e-mail is from

Peter from Peterborough.

I don't know, maybe it

sounds a bit silly.

I mean, Peter's OK,

and Peterborough's OK,

but, "I've had an e-mail

from Peter from Peterborough..."

Yeah, it's a bit Peter heavy.

There's one here from

Sheila from Doncaster.

That sounds perfect.

Except her question is,

"What is the Prime Minister's

favourite mollusc?"

Well, let's just take Peter's

question and say it's from Sheila.

Violate the sanctity of "I've had

an e-mail from so-and-so"s?

Well, I wonder if I haven't outgrown

the whole "I've had an e-mail

from so-and-so"s thing,

John.

Let me remind you, Jeremy,

that the so-and-sos

are the ordinary, decent working

people of this country.

Or have you outgrown them?!

The workers.

The workers.

No, it's not that.

It's just that people aren't really

interested in folksy e-mails

from Sheila in Doncaster.

They want to hear from

Jeremy in Islington!

My unlikely fame is currently our

best bet for building

a fairer Britain, a Britain

in which a person's prospects

are determined not by where

they come from or who their parents

are, but by their own

talents and hard work...

Oh, put a sock in it, Corbyn!

Hey, get off me!

Agh!

GRUNTING.

Well, I don't condone that, do you?

No, there's absolutely no place

for that kind of behaviour.

HE GROANS.

So, what are you going

to ask at PMQs tomorrow?

Perhaps I'll just wing it.

Whatever I say these

days seems to be right.

OK, that's it.

If you care so little

about the working population of this

country that you'd rather blurt out

random thoughts instead of airing

their justifiable grievances,

then on your head be it.

Do you want any Swiss chard?

No, thank you!

All right, we've got to have an

editorial meeting.

We've got a bit of a problem.

The boss said that we can't put

Brexit on the front page every day.

We have done for the last year.

I know, and people are getting

a teensy bit bored.

We need to get other headlines.

Now, the World Cup is coming up.

And what are we looking at here?

Is it the warehouse staff

from DFS Basingstoke?

No, it's the England football team.

ALL:

Is it?

Yeah.

Rooney has retired from the England

squad, so the last tabloid-selling

player has officially left

the pitch, and we're

left with this lot.

I mean, who even are they?

I think that one's Dier.

They're all bloody DIRE!

People used to care about England.

The nation laughed when

Lineker shat his pants.

They cried when Beckham

got sent off.

They smiled when Gazza made jokes

about his crippling alcoholism.

Them's were the days, eh?

Yeah, and now this lot has

qualified for the World Cup

and no-one's even noticed.

It's like the only people that care

about football any more are people

who actually like football.

Ludicrous.

We've got to save the England team.

We've got to get them

back on the front pages.

Yeah, but how do we do that now

phone hacking's off the agenda?

We'll have to go old school.

Make stuff up.

Puns sell papers.

Exactly.

This, apparently, is Joe Hart.

He's happily married...

Or is he?

Yeah, he is, yeah.

I know, but you track down

a snap of him looking

a bit saucy at someone,

bit of tabloid magic and, bingo,

he's Joe Hart-breaker.

Everybody loves a Casanova.

This is Harry Kane.

Harry KANES it!

I'll go and stick 50 empty

cider bottles in his bin.

Yeah.

Suddenly he's a troubled genius.

You see?

I'm interested already.

Danny Drinkwater.

ALL:

Danny Snort-cocaine!

And we're back in the game.

BBC NEWS THEME PLAYS.

The Paradise Papers have revealed

that about £10 million

of the Queen's own money

was invested in an

offshore tax haven.

What are you doing, ma'am?

Surely it's all your own money?

HER MAJESTY's Revenue & Customs.

You're only hurting yourself.

Seriously?

Eros?

Otherwise known as the Angel

of Christian Charity?

Or to look at it another way,

it depicts a semi-naked figure

rampaging around Piccadilly Circus

shooting people

with a bow and arrow.

Right.

EXPLOSION.

Right.

SHE CHUCKLES.

What's next?

Paddington Bear's statue.

Paddington Bear?!

Illegal immigrant.

Hello, and welcome to

The Review Show here on BBC Four -

too smart for BBC One,

too smug for BBC Two.

Tonight, I'm joined by not one

woman but two, partly

because there was a booking error

but also because we're discussing

a new season of female-led TV drama.

Let's take a look, shall we?

New to the BBC - a season of those

dramas about powerful women.

Judge Jane Jones is a no-nonsense

law-maker at the top of her game.

Objection, Your Honour.

Overruled and, believe me,

I know when to overrule.

I am damn good at my job.

Mummy, you said you'd be home today.

You said you'd take us to the park.

I would love to, but

I'm too busy judging.

And because this is drama,

she's bound to snap.

So, Jane, I hear your ex-husband

took the children away.

I'm not surprised, as you have

a successful career, so...

..you can't have a family as well.

Jane Hart is a no-nonsense surgeon

at the top of her game.

I know I can save him, damn it!

I'm the best surgeon in the country,

maybe even the world.

Hello, David?

I really need to have

self-destructive sex with someone

in a way that will bring

about my downfall.

And since she's powerful,

she's bound to snap.

The young man you had sex with has

told everybody at the hospital.

If you will have sex with people,

especially at your age...

Jane Strong is a no-nonsense

architect at the top of her game.

I don't want to hear your excuses.

Just get it done!

Hi, I'm your new colleague,

Claire Foundations.

I'm also no-nonsense

and at the top of my game.

I hear you've both gone

for the same promotion.

One or both of you is bound to snap.

So, Carol, if I can come

to you first, isn't it great

to finally see so many female

characters at the top of their game?

Well, it would be if they didn't

portray all powerful women

as inevitably psychotic.

These shows suggest any woman

with a half-decent job

is destined to self-destruct.

It's ridiculous.

OK.

Kelly, I imagine you'd

like to disagree because that is why

we have two of you.

No, no, I agree with Carol.

What?

Women with successful careers

are written like it's some

kind of character flaw.

I find that quite offensive.

But you're both no-nonsense

television reviewers

at the top of your game.

Are you not going to violently

disagree and then commit some sort

of impulsive act that ultimately

leads to your downfall?

I think you've been watching a bit

too much telly, Martin.

What if I told you we only had space

for one of you on next week's show?

Wouldn't matter.

In real life, professional women...

Well, that's that

bitch out of the way.

Would you like to have an affair?

I thought you'd never ask.