Episode 1 Twenty Twelve


Episode 1

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This programme contains some strong language

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-COMMENTATOR:

-What a marvellous finish! Seb Coe gets the gold medal!

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# There may be trouble ahead

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# But while there's moonlight

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# And music

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# And love and romance

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# Let's face the music and dance

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# Let's face the music and dance. #

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MOBILE PHONE RINGS

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Sarah, hi.

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Yeah, no, that's fine, put him on.

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Hi, how are you?

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Yeah.

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No, no, yeah.

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Yeah. Uh-huh?

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Sure. So wait, this Hoy guy, the guy with the huge legs, yeah?

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They're going on about peak flow double breathing, OK? I know.

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You're not solving the problem either,

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you're just moving it around.

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Absolutely, yes.

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Obviously this is... No, I'm fine. No, er, look.

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This was flagged from the outset.

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Thing is, she's terrific in the water,

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but out of the water she's got this nose thing going on.

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Absolutely, yep, yep. No, absolutely.

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Yep, yep, yep. Absolutely.

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Monday morning at the Olympic Deliverance Commission in London.

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-Morning, Sally.

-Oh, hi, morning!

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-Good weekend?

-Yeah, not bad.

-Do anything interesting?

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Er, no, not really.

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I went to the gym on Friday

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-and thought about going out on Saturday night but didn't.

-Fair enough.

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This is the London 2012 engine room.

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Whilst others up on deck may be in the public eye,

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these are the men and women whose responsibility it is

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to deliver London's Olympic Games on time and on budget.

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Before joining the Olympic Deliverance Commission

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as Head of Deliverance,

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Ian Fletcher had spells with British Nuclear Fuels

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before progressing through the National Disasters Executive

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to his most recent job as director of the Urban Regeneration Agency,

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in which role he was largely responsible for Manchester.

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Oh, thanks, Sally, brilliant.

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-Kay Hope just called. She's stuck in traffic.

-Yes, obviously.

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-And Seb's office called.

-Yes, I spoke to him.

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-Also, your wife phoned.

-I know.

-She said...

-I'm doing it, thanks.

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-Right. Do you want the plasters this morning?

-Oh, no.

-Sure?

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Yes, no, let me, er, get, er...

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Would you like a cinnamon Danish?

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-Oh, now, Sally...

-I'm going back down anyway.

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-What are you trying to do to me?

-Well, live dangerously(!)

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-You know me too well.

-Not a problem,

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Right, I know Kay is delayed, but I think we should just make a start.

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So if I can just gently remind everyone, phones set to off, please.

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OK, so just one preliminary before we... PHONE BUZZES

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Sorry, got to get this, sorry.

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Ian is joined for this deliverance review group

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by Head of Contracts Nick Jerrett

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and head of infrastructure Graham Hitchens.

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As well as by Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe,

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from PR company Perfect Curve.

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Matthew Pinsent? I don't even know who that is.

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I've got to go.

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OK. OK, bye. Sorry.

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One preliminary before we get on to the main business.

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Graham, I had a call from upstairs this morning.

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-I presume you've seen the Analogicus report.

-What?

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Oh, yeah, I've seen it, yeah.

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There's nothing in there we don't already know,

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but the fact that it's now in the public domain...

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That's fine. Suddenly everyone's talking about traffic light phasing

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like it's some kind of sliced bread. OK?

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It's not...it's not a surgical bullet.

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A surgical...? Bullet or bread?

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Basically what it is...

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A report has been published which cites traffic chaos

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as the most likely impediment to the smooth running of the 2012 Games.

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Traffic light phasing, it's not like playing with colours.

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It's like doing open heart bypass surgery,

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only with the patient actually alive.

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OK, basically, I'd like to get a concrete statement about our plans for that area out by Friday.

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-Yeah, OK.

-That sounds reasonable?

-Yeah... What, this Friday?

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Yes, is that going to be OK?

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-Yes, fine.

-Good, OK.

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Which brings us on to... Thanks for that, Sally.

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Hellfire! Good luck with that!

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Right, OK, the main item this week is obviously Friday.

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It's a big week for the team. On Friday, they break through the 1,000 Days To Go hurdle.

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I think what I want to say at this stage

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is that 1,000 days isn't just a number.

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What we're looking at here is a total game changer.

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It's a chance for us to make a big, confident, public statement

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-about who we are, where we've got to, but also, where we're going.

-Yeah, cool.

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So, Siobhan, in terms of practicality...

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OK, thanks for that, Ian.

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Um, OK, guys, here's where we ramp up the public interest in 2012

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and take it to the next level. OK? Good?

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And how we do that, we break open the Google juice,

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we go viral, and we launch 2012, 2.0.

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-OK. Got a question.

-I'll kinda be coming to questions later.

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-Well, I've come to one now.

-OK, cool.

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What are you talking about?

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-As of Friday morning, we're going to be launching the 2012 website.

-Thank you.

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'Yeah, she's a bright girl, Siobhan, lot of ability,

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'and OK, she's got a big job in some fancy advertising agency...'

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And that's great, but if you're going at 90mph all the time

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you're going to end up killing someone. Don't care who you are.

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As Head of Contracts for London 2012, Nick Jerrett knows a thing or two.

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'Half the people you work with at senior level are women. Over half.

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'Which is great. You can't have enough women.'

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I know a lot of guys are frightened by them, they find them intimidating.

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But I'm sorry, I'm from Yorkshire. I'm not having it.

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-What the hell is this?

-Bloody big clock.

-Unless that guy's that tiny.

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-That clock is huge.

-OK, that was like a joke, yeah?

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The guy standing next to it is Anthony Preston, who created it.

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-Anthony who?

-So the clock's counting down to 2012.

-Counting backwards?

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Sure, totally. We install it this week. We make a big noise,

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we get Seb to wind it up and set it going Friday.

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-OK.

-And we stream the whole thing live on the website.

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Fine. Well, that would be the time to get Seb to say anything we need

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about how fantastic the traffic's going to be at Games time.

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Graham.

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What?

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Yeah, fine, that's fine.

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Good, OK. Fine. Well, thanks for that, Siobhan.

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Guys, this is a slam dunk.

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-Hi.

-Kay, hi.

-Sorry, Ian, sorry, everybody.

-Welcome.

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-Bloody traffic is diabolical.

-Well, you're here now.

-Right, so.

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Have I missed anything important?

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You've missed the meeting now. Basically.

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-Hi, Anthony.

-Yeah.

-Terrific to meet you.

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It's Tuesday, and Siobhan has come to Shoreditch in East London to meet artist Anthony Preston.

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I wanted it to be dead simple from the outset, know what I mean?

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-Sure, yeah, simple's good.

-Didn't want any bollocks.

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Sure, that's a great idea.

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His specially commissioned 1,000 Day 2012 clock

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is something of a departure for an artist who's probably best known up to now for gaining a reputation.

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-So, I'm noticing you've got a bit of a green vibe going on here.

-Yeah, so?

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-How did you get to that?

-It's green because it's green.

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-OK, that's cool.

-Cool?

-Sure.

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Who's trying to be cool? Because I'm fucking not, I'll tell you that now.

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-OK, that's totally cool.

-It's a wind-up clock, for Christ's sake.

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-Doesn't use any energy.

-Oh, OK, so it's green.

-Congratulations.

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Oh, that's terrific.

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So your idea with this is that ordinary people

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will just wind it up and keep it going?

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-If you say so.

-OK, I love this.

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OK, so, as of now, it's set for 5pm, July 27th, 2012.

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Yeah, but that will be digital. It's not finished yet.

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So that's like the start of the opening ceremony for the Games.

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OK, that's terrific. Um, OK. So, OK.

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And once it's installed, it will go backwards 1,000 days.

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-No, wait, it it will go forwards.

-No, it won't go forwards.

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Sure, no, absolutely. OK. So, OK.

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So, um, when it starts, it'll... It's just basically counting down.

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-It's not fucking complicated.

-Absolutely, absolutely.

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So, the thing is, OK, here's the thing, OK, so.

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It's basically counting backwards?

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It'll count back to the beginning of time if people go on winding it up.

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-Sure, OK.

-OK?

-Absolutely.

-'kin 'ell!

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Sure. It's totally sensational.

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Well, I know I didn't, but, I mean, really...

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Wait a minute! I thought you said there WAS a shower.

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Yeah, well, a shower over the bath is still a shower. Ah, fuck!

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8.30am, Wednesday morning, and Ian is already under pressure.

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The thing is, I'm not going to have a lot of time today to look at hotels.

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It's recently become clear to him that he'll have a weekend with his wife in Barcelona.

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How much time are you going to be spending in the bathroom?

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It is difficult with a job like this. It is all-consuming, I realise that,

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and sometimes there isn't as much time as there should be for other areas of your life.

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So, this idea of a weekend away, it does make a lot of sense,

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and there's no way of getting round that.

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And are you looking forward to it?

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It's subsequently been rebranded as a romantic mini-break.

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Which is obviously a lot more complicated.

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-Morning, Sally.

-Oh, morning.

-Hi, how are you?

-Good, not bad, thank you.

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-Good.

-So, Boris's office called.

-Oh, yes? What did they want?

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He's wondering why he hasn't been involved in the 1,000 Day day thing on Friday.

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-Oh, God, no.

-I've told them Seb's doing it,

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-but that seemed to make it worse.

-I thought we might have escaped. Seb'll go nuts.

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-And also a your wife rang.

-Yes, I know, thanks.

-Sure.

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-How's it going?

-So far, so good.

-Good.

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Graham Hitchens is monitoring a trial of some upgraded traffic-light-phasing software,

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designed to improve traffic flows across London in time for 2012.

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It's like flying an aeroplane.

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You get this right, no-one notices. Get it wrong...

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-Everyone notices.

-Yeah, first they notice, then they die.

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So how do we make sure that, you know, they don't die?

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Well, first you test it, OK?

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Then you test it again, and when you've done that, you test it again.

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And then once you've finished all of that, you test it again.

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-Basically, a lot of testing, then?

-Yeah, I mean, what you're doing, OK,

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you'll gradually design failure out of the system.

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So, after you've done all the testing, the aircraft, simply, it can't crash?

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Yeah, I mean, if it does crash after all of that, to be honest,

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you really are seriously fucked.

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We're still good for something positive to give Seb on Friday? PHONE RINGS

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-Yeah, no worries. This Friday?

-Yes.

-Yeah, that's fine.

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Hi. No, no, that's fine. Put him through.

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Hello! Good morning, how are you?

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As on most mornings, Ian has had a call from Boris Johnson's office.

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And per ardua ad astra, yes. Exactly, yes, yes.

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No, absolutely.

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I got the message earlier. That's terrific news.

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He's called to point out he's free to take part in Friday's 1,000 Day Day day.

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Fantastic for us. Yes, yes, no, brilliant. Absolutely.

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No, no, absolutely.

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It's actually a very flexible space,

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-easily convertible into a sort of multi-ethnic indoor skateboarding experience, for instance.

-Yeah.

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Head of Sustainability Kay Hope

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has come to St Mary's Youth Group in Stoke Newington

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to meet group leader Shaquille Johnson.

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-We've already got a skateboarding park in the park.

-Right.

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But if we got a pitch, like a five-a-side pitch, AstroTurf,

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-then maybe we could do something.

-There will be the hockey arena,

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-but that'll be part of Urban Duck World after the Games.

-God, you're killing me.

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It's part of her mission to find a sustainable use

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for the Tae Kwon Do Arena, post-2012.

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It'll take us a couple of hours to get there, and by then,

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we're not going to have time for any other shit, you know?

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So, thank you, and I kinda like you,

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-but this is some mad shit.

-Right.

-You know what I'm saying?

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-Of course, but you will think about it, though?

-I've just done that.

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-That's what I've just done?

-Yes.

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Bruce Forsyth, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Stephen Hawking, Joanna Lumley,

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Stephen Fry - obviously -

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either Prince Harry or Prince William or Trinny or Susannah,

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we're looking at the combination...

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Back at the Olympic Deliverance Commission, Head of Brands Siobhan Sharpe

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has arrived with a list of potential Olympic torch bearers

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which her team of creatives at Perfect Curve have thrown up.

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Sir Trevor McDonald, obviously, Lord Alan Sugar, if he'd do it, Gok Wan.

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Wait, wait, hang on a minute. Bruce Forsyth?

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-We love Bruce.

-Well, yes, but...

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-Keep dancin'!

-You're not serious?

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These are our national heroes?

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-You're getting the go-to list.

-Gok Wan?

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With Sebastian Coe keen to include an announcement about torch bearers

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as part of 1,000 Day day, pressure is on.

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But deciding on a list of names that adequately reflect

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what Britain is today is no easy task.

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Someone with a bit more gravitas. Like Michael Palin, or...

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-Yeah, he's actually dead.

-No, he's not. Michael Palin is not dead.

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You're telling me. He's from Sheffield.

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-Sorry.

-Hi, Kay, come on in.

-Had to go to Stoke Newington.

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-Yes, of course.

-Traffic's absolutely...

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Well, luckily, Graham's on top of that, aren't you?

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Yeah, basically, the worse it gets, the more we're learning about why that is.

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As the meeting continues, Ian is keen to steer the level of conversation upwards.

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-What about JK Rowling?

-OK.

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Well, that's a bit more...

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We've kind of got Joanna Lumley, so we're sort of covered there.

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OK, right.

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-Carol Ann Duffy.

-Ah, now, right.

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-Yeah, no, we did talk about Duffy.

-She's cool.

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-Kay's talking about Carol Ann Duffy.

-She'd look great with a torch.

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-Want Carol as well?

-No, no.

-Carol's the mum, right?

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-Carol Ann Duffy is the Poet Laureate.

-Thank you, Ian.

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Yeah, OK, anyway.

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Who's that guy with the hair and glasses?

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-This is ridiculous.

-Erm, er, it'll come to me in a minute.

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All we're after are some national figures who have earned respect

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because of who they are as people.

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People who make you feel proud to be British. That's all. So come on, surely.

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Got it! Gok Wan.

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Thank you very much. Gok Wan!

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What?

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Do we actually need to book anything anyway?

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With one meeting over,

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there are already other issues waiting to be dealt with.

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I thought we might drop our bags at the hotel, just wander out,

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have a drink, find a little tapas bar somewhere and see how we...

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No, OK, fine. Yeah, OK. Bye.

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Right, good. Good grief, Sally, that's enormous!

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-Do you like avocado?

-Yes, I love avocado.

-It's nice, isn't it?

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-I really ought to make my own sandwich.

-Not a problem.

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It'll be terrific for circus girls in the whole of the Lea Valley.

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Of course, yes, I understand that. Would you think about it, though?

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OK, well, I'll call you again tomorrow then.

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I'll call you anyway.

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OK. Bye.

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Is that the tae kwon do arena?

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Yes, that was actually the guy who runs Rudolpho's Travelling Circus.

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I don't know whether you know them.

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Rudolpho's, Rudolpho's...

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I've fixed up a meeting to discuss a permanent home.

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A permanent home for a travelling circus?

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He wasn't giving anything away.

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No, I bet he wasn't.

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It's an uphill battle, but we'll get there.

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We're close with the National Indoor Donkey Sanctuary people. Shame they got cold feet.

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-Presumably you tried the tae kwon do people?

-Er, pardon?

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I'm sure there's a British Tae Kwon Do Association.

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So, in terms of use for the tae kwon do arena post-games,

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-I would think a tae kwon do arena would tick quite a lot of boxes.

-Mmm.

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Yes.

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Sally, I really think you should stop there.

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OK, sure. Not a problem.

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From a sustainability point of view,

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the Olympics isn't really about sport at all.

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This whole thing starts when the sport ends.

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Presumably sustainability is very closely connected to legacy.

0:15:590:16:03

Beg your pardon? It is not. They are not the same. They are not.

0:16:030:16:07

Sustainability is about using the Games as a catalyst for change.

0:16:070:16:10

It's about improving life in the East End of London

0:16:100:16:13

and encouraging new ways of life across the whole of the UK

0:16:130:16:16

-that take into account not just our debt to the past, but also to the future.

-Right.

0:16:160:16:21

-Whereas legacy is totally different.

-Yes.

0:16:210:16:24

Yes, I see.

0:16:260:16:27

Yeah, yeah.

0:16:300:16:32

-I think I did say...

-Absolutely. That would be a disaster.

0:16:320:16:35

If we give Boris some scissors to play with,

0:16:350:16:38

and the tape to cut, that should keep him happy.

0:16:380:16:40

Meanwhile, Ian has decided to go across town to pay a visit to PR company, Perfect Curve.

0:16:400:16:46

That's what I'm saying. I don't know who he is.

0:16:460:16:48

-OK, this is Barney.

-Hey.

-Hi.

0:16:480:16:52

With 1,000 Day day now only a day away, he's keen to see

0:16:520:16:55

how preparations for the 2012 website relaunch are going.

0:16:550:16:59

-How's it going, Barn?

-Pretty cool.

0:16:590:17:00

There's a couple of things taking longer than we'd like, but that's normal.

0:17:000:17:04

OK, so this is, like, Ian.

0:17:040:17:06

He's, kinda like, he's the head of everything, so...

0:17:060:17:09

I am, head of delivery.

0:17:090:17:10

Barney Lumsden is head of Siobhan Sharpe's online team.

0:17:100:17:14

When it's finished, we are going to have, like, text here,

0:17:140:17:17

bloggy stuff here, you've got your webcam here,

0:17:170:17:20

-RSS, Twitter feeds here, videos here...

-Say about the clock?

0:17:200:17:25

Yeah, that's cool.

0:17:250:17:26

Uh, we've got, like, a live webcam situation going on here.

0:17:260:17:29

We've been looking at ways to create a sense of urgency

0:17:290:17:32

at the centre of the relaunch, kind of like a ticking clock.

0:17:320:17:36

-And it was Barney that came up with the idea of the clock.

-Right.

0:17:360:17:39

-So from Friday onwards...

-Tomorrow?

0:17:400:17:42

From Friday onwards, anyone who visits the 2012 website

0:17:420:17:45

will see a live webcam image of the clock counting backwards towards the opening ceremony.

0:17:450:17:49

..To the start of the opening ceremony.

0:17:490:17:51

And what we're trying to say is, it's kind of like a dynamic thing.

0:17:510:17:55

Um, it's constantly in motion, but also

0:17:550:17:57

what we're saying is launch sequence is commenced.

0:17:570:18:00

What's the matter? What's with the face?

0:18:000:18:02

-The clock.

-OK, yeah, the clock is sensational.

0:18:020:18:05

I'm sure it is. But how does it work, exactly?

0:18:050:18:09

OK, OK. Um, OK, so, the thing with the clock is, OK,

0:18:090:18:12

um, so here's the thing with the clock.

0:18:120:18:14

Um, the great thing about the clock is it's counting backwards.

0:18:140:18:19

Backwards in time or backwards in numbers?

0:18:190:18:21

-Sure. Either. I mean both.

-Right.

-Absolutely. It's sensational.

0:18:210:18:25

-It's pretty cool.

-Can we have a word?

0:18:250:18:27

-Totally, yeah.

-By the way, whilst I'm here...

0:18:270:18:30

It's probably just me but, this, Olyp...Olypmic? Is that some kind of?

0:18:300:18:36

Yeah, no, that's just like, you know, spelling.

0:18:360:18:40

-Oh, right.

-Yeah, we can change that whenever you want.

0:18:400:18:44

Yeah, we can change that. Good.

0:18:440:18:46

-You want me to actually...

-Well, why not?

0:18:460:18:48

There. That better?

0:18:520:18:54

-Well, I mean, it's different.

-It's cool.

0:18:540:18:58

-Give us two minutes.

-Yeah, sure.

-Bye!

0:18:580:19:01

Hang loose.

0:19:010:19:02

First of all, OK, what is it with that guy?

0:19:020:19:05

-What is it with him?

-Is he a close friend of yours, or?

0:19:050:19:07

-Barney's totally plugged in.

-He's an idiot.

0:19:070:19:09

Ian is concerned some of Siobhan's preparations for tomorrow may not be fully there.

0:19:090:19:14

Our online presence is a key part of who we are.

0:19:140:19:16

It's virtually our virtual front door.

0:19:160:19:18

-It's virtually off its hinges.

-Here's the thing, OK?

0:19:180:19:21

The thing is, here, OK? OK, here's the thing. So, the thing is...

0:19:210:19:24

Forgive me if I haven't got time for the usual pleasantries,

0:19:240:19:27

but get that guy some new glasses, get him some new hair, get a new guy, whatever,

0:19:270:19:32

but this needs to be sorted by the morning, OK?

0:19:320:19:34

OK, no, I'm totally good with that.

0:19:340:19:36

With the clock, I need a clear, unambiguous explanation of how it works.

0:19:360:19:40

-Something even Boris can grasp.

-OK.

0:19:400:19:42

-Because right now, I'm really struggling to understand it.

-Absolutely. Cool.

0:19:420:19:46

SIRENS

0:19:480:19:51

Kentish Town Road. Hornsey Rise...

0:19:510:19:54

Meanwhile, Graham Hitchens is burning the midnight oil.

0:19:540:19:57

The new traffic-light-phasing trial has been live for 48 hours and is reaching a crucial stage.

0:19:570:20:03

That's quite interesting.

0:20:030:20:05

It's resulted in traffic flows being significantly slower.

0:20:050:20:08

-Slower?

-I know, it's mad.

0:20:080:20:11

But I think it's because

0:20:110:20:13

we've been trialling it in too small an area.

0:20:130:20:15

I mean, you're talking about a system capable of making six billion decisions a second.

0:20:150:20:20

God, that's very...

0:20:200:20:21

Yes, so now what we're going to do is, we're going to trial it in a much bigger area, OK?

0:20:210:20:26

So, like, the whole north and north east London.

0:20:260:20:30

Right. Is that wise?

0:20:300:20:31

Yeah, it is.

0:20:310:20:33

SIRENS AND HORNS BLARE

0:20:330:20:37

Inevitably, it's Friday.

0:20:420:20:44

Where is he at this present time? He's still there? No way! No way!

0:20:440:20:49

But with people gathering outside London's Tate Modern for the official commissioning

0:20:490:20:53

of Andrew Preston's 1,000 Day clock and the start of the final countdown to London 2012,

0:20:530:20:59

so far, there's no sign of either Sebastian Coe or Boris Johnson.

0:20:590:21:02

He's been stuck there for, like, an hour.

0:21:020:21:05

This is just, like, somebody somewhere just hit pause, you know?

0:21:050:21:08

OK, then, I'll meet you at the airport. I'll meet you there.

0:21:080:21:11

No, I won't - there's one every 15 minutes.

0:21:110:21:14

Meanwhile, Ian's own final countdown to Barcelona is also now under way.

0:21:140:21:18

Laura, the flight's not until 6:55pm. I won't, Laura.

0:21:180:21:22

On this one occasion I won't be useless, OK?

0:21:220:21:25

-So the latest is that Seb is still in the Rotherhithe Tunnel.

-Great.

0:21:250:21:28

Also the Central line is down because of improvement works.

0:21:280:21:31

-What about Boris?

-Sure.

-Isn't he on his bike?

0:21:310:21:33

Boris is under police protection.

0:21:330:21:35

-Right, do you want to explain that, or...?

-Sure.

0:21:350:21:38

Um, Boris was threatened by a bunch of cabbies.

0:21:380:21:41

Um, because they were angry about the traffic chaos.

0:21:410:21:43

-Brilliant, brilliant(!)

-OK, so, here's the thing.

0:21:430:21:46

-What we're maybe looking at is delaying...

-We can't.

0:21:460:21:49

-The whole point is... Could you take those off?

-Sure.

0:21:490:21:51

It has to be counting down precisely to the start of the opening ceremony.

0:21:510:21:55

-That's the whole point of today.

-OK, OK, so what we do.

0:21:550:21:58

-OK, here's the thing, OK, so he's up for that.

-OK, now you're babbling.

0:21:580:22:02

-Sure.

-So, the clock...

0:22:020:22:03

With both his star speakers now apparently involved

0:22:030:22:05

in Graham Hitchens' new traffic-light-phasing trial,

0:22:050:22:08

Ian knows he's running out of time.

0:22:080:22:10

Even if it's not clear which way time is going.

0:22:100:22:13

So, um, here's the thing, here's where we're at with this.

0:22:130:22:16

The clock is going to be counting down 1,000 days backwards to 2012.

0:22:160:22:20

-Or backwards from 2012?

-Exactly.

-Well, there's a difference, Siobhan.

0:22:200:22:24

-If you want to be...

-This is quite a key...

-It's one or two...

0:22:240:22:27

-No, no, it's not, Siobhan!

-Get over it!

0:22:270:22:29

Right. I'll ask him.

0:22:290:22:30

-OK. Anthony, he's a brilliant guy.

-I don't care.

0:22:300:22:32

-Hi, Anthony! This is Ian Fletcher, head of deliverance for 2012.

-OK, so?

0:22:320:22:37

Ian, this is Anthony Preston.

0:22:370:22:39

Ian is about to be reminded that the artist isn't always

0:22:390:22:42

the best person to ask to explain his own creation in actual words.

0:22:420:22:45

-I need to double check how...

-It's come in backwards.

-Totally.

0:22:450:22:49

So tomorrow, unless I've got this wrong,

0:22:490:22:50

It's going to be reading 26th July, 2012?

0:22:500:22:54

-Totally.

-The day before the Olympics.

-Absolutely.

0:22:540:22:56

-What is it with you guys?

-So in 1,000 days' time.

0:22:560:22:59

-It's not fucking complicated!

-Good. So in 1,000 days' time...

0:22:590:23:03

-Fucking hell.

-OK, so in 1,000 days, it'll be...

0:23:030:23:05

-He's doing my fucking head in.

-Everything's totally cool.

0:23:050:23:08

So, basically, just to be clear about this,

0:23:080:23:11

am I right in thinking that at the start of the Olympics in 2012,

0:23:110:23:14

this clock will be reading, well, it'll be now, it'll be today?

0:23:140:23:18

Totally, yeah, totally.

0:23:180:23:20

Sure, yeah, that's cool. Absolutely cool.

0:23:200:23:22

Oh, he's gone. Great(!)

0:23:220:23:24

We're very excited to be working with Anthony Preston.

0:23:260:23:29

Having succeeded in clarifying the clock's unique design concept,

0:23:290:23:33

Ian is now faced with explaining it to the waiting press.

0:23:330:23:37

-Why is it counting the wrong way?

-It isn't.

0:23:370:23:39

-Surely it should count towards the Games, not back away from them.

-No.

0:23:390:23:43

If you want my personal take, the clock is a powerful

0:23:430:23:46

and, at the same time, playful comment on time itself.

0:23:460:23:50

After all, every year we put the clocks forward,

0:23:500:23:53

but time goes back.

0:23:530:23:54

For now, as we stand here today,

0:23:540:23:57

the clock points us towards our destination.

0:23:570:23:59

When we arrive, it will remind us of this day,

0:23:590:24:02

and of the journey we've all taken.

0:24:020:24:04

But with still no sign of either Sebastian Coe or Boris Johnson,

0:24:040:24:07

Ian has reached the point where he has to make a decision.

0:24:070:24:10

'I don't know who said it's when all the wheels come off at once

0:24:100:24:13

'you find out who you really are.

0:24:130:24:15

'It's all very well as an expression,

0:24:150:24:17

'but when that happens,

0:24:170:24:18

'you often find out that you're the driver.'

0:24:180:24:20

Still, handbrake off.

0:24:200:24:23

Having dealt with one problem, he is now faced with an even bigger one.

0:24:250:24:29

OK, ladies and gentlemen, I think we'll...

0:24:290:24:32

How to formally introduce the commissioning of the 1,000 Day clock

0:24:320:24:35

when neither of the people due to perform that task have made it to the ceremony.

0:24:350:24:40

As you know, London 2012 is very much the people's Games, which is why,

0:24:400:24:43

I'm pleased to be able to announce formally today that Peter Andre

0:24:430:24:48

has agreed to be our principal torch bearer for London 2012.

0:24:480:24:52

Woo! Yay!

0:24:520:24:53

SHE CLAPS

0:24:530:24:55

I think it would only be appropriate

0:24:570:25:00

and very much in line with the essence of London 2012

0:25:000:25:03

to invite a member of the public to perform the honour of winding up

0:25:030:25:06

and starting Anthony Preston's magnificent 1,000 Day clock.

0:25:060:25:10

So, Siobhan, if you'd like to perhaps, get that process under way?

0:25:130:25:16

Finding a member of the public to wind up...

0:25:160:25:18

Um, excuse, me, my name's Siobhan Sharpe. Would you come and, no? OK.

0:25:180:25:23

Hey there, hello! My name's Siobhan Sharpe.

0:25:230:25:26

Ian has succeeded in turning a potential disaster into a triumph.

0:25:260:25:29

This is Sadie, who's 65, from Surrey,

0:25:290:25:31

she's a member of the public, an ordinary normal...

0:25:310:25:34

OK, just wind it round. That's it.

0:25:340:25:36

-This is Andrew Preston, our artist.

-Anthony.

0:25:360:25:39

Great, if you'd like to turn round, and if you turn round...

0:25:390:25:42

Could we come to the front of the clock?

0:25:420:25:44

It's becoming clear to him

0:25:440:25:45

that if he's going to be on the flight to Barcelona,

0:25:450:25:48

he needs to leave for Liverpool Street Station before it's too late to get there.

0:25:480:25:52

Just get in the middle please, thanks. OK. OK?

0:25:520:25:55

HORNS BLARE

0:25:550:25:57

Laura, I'm doing my best.

0:25:570:25:58

No, we're moving again now, we're flying along.

0:25:580:26:01

I'll be with you in no time.

0:26:010:26:03

But there are some things that even head of deliverance for London 2012 can't control.

0:26:030:26:07

And traffic light phasing turns out to be one of them.

0:26:070:26:10

So what happens if she gets on the plane and you don't make it?

0:26:100:26:14

-Well, let's not count our chickens.

-No.

-No, so it's all good.

0:26:140:26:19

# There may be trouble ahead

0:26:290:26:33

# But while there's moonlight and music, and love and romance... #

0:26:330:26:39

My name's Siobhan Sharpe, I'm head of brand for London 2012.

0:26:390:26:43

And I'll be your tour guide today.

0:26:430:26:45

I have no idea where this guy's going.

0:26:450:26:47

-Let's assume he knows.

-Fine.

0:26:470:26:49

I'm not interested in how this happened,

0:26:490:26:51

I'm interested in getting to the Olympic Park by 11:45 at the latest.

0:26:510:26:54

If you get away a bit earlier.

0:26:540:26:56

When you say early...

0:26:560:26:57

Whoa, whoa! OK.

0:26:570:27:00

What we don't want to do is end up going through the Blackwall Tunnel, OK?

0:27:000:27:03

-So where are we up to?

-Right. Yeah.

0:27:030:27:06

-No, no!

-Not the M11! We'll end up at bloody Stansted airport.

0:27:060:27:09

Keep him there for ten more minutes, OK?

0:27:090:27:11

Um, if you... So, we'll basically...

0:27:130:27:16

Actually, what roundabout is this?

0:27:160:27:19

# There may be teardrops to shed

0:27:200:27:22

# So while there's moonlight and music, and love and romance

0:27:240:27:29

# Let's face the music and dance

0:27:310:27:37

# Let's face the music

0:27:370:27:41

# And dance!

0:27:410:27:44

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0:27:440:27:46

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