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This programme contains some strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
-So, in general, you're feeling all right? -Yeah, yeah. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
Are you eating your five a day? | 0:00:09 | 0:00:10 | |
Aye, five Kit Kats. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
Have you checked your testicles recently? | 0:00:12 | 0:00:14 | |
Yup, there's still two of them. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:16 | |
When was the last time you checked them, Mr Baird? | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
Oh, I don't know. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
You're supposed to check them regularly for any abnormalities. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
I usually say to people to do it when they're in the bath, | 0:00:23 | 0:00:25 | |
you know, when you're relaxed and they're nice and soft. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
When was the last time you had a bath, Eric? | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
I've got no idea. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
I'll make sure he has one. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:32 | |
Mind you, our boiler doesn't always give you enough for a bath. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
No, it depends if the washing machine's been on. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
What about a shower, will that soften them up? | 0:00:37 | 0:00:39 | |
-Cos I prefer a shower, actually. -Uh-huh. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
-It's an electric shower we've got. -Well, you can... -Yeah. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
It doesn't depend on the boiler, you see. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
Takes it directly from the mains | 0:00:45 | 0:00:46 | |
and heats it up in an element in the box on the wall. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
You pull a string to switch it on. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
Well, you can do it anywhere. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
Step up on to the scales, please. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
I still cannae make head nor tail of it. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
Look! There's its head, and there's its wee nose. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
It's like one of those pictures they take from the drones | 0:01:03 | 0:01:06 | |
when they've been up bombing the villages. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
Well, I'm sure the next one they do will be clearer. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Oh, well, I hope we get a few more. One copy! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
But that's the NHS for you, eh? They've brung it to its knees. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:17 | |
And just you wait to the birth - you'll be in and out in a day. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
Not like the good old times, where you could be in a place for months. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:25 | |
-I'm sure I can feel it starting to kick. -Aye. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
Either that or it's that steak pie we had for our lunch | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
making its way through you. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Right, come on, let's get this up on the Facebook. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
No, Mum, this is private. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
Private? It might be private to you but this is my first grandchild. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
Oh, fine. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:43 | |
And once you're finished with that, | 0:01:45 | 0:01:46 | |
you make sure you put it somewhere safe. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
-CAMERA CLICKS -When you become a mum, Sophie, | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
you will understand that these are the types of things | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
that you'll cherish forever. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
Plus it'll be good ammo in my appeal with the council | 0:01:57 | 0:02:00 | |
when I'm going up to get that ramp fitted. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
So, are you going on holiday this year? | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
-No. -No? | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
No, no, we were away, what was it, three years ago? | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
Try seven. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:14 | |
-Seven? Is it seven years since we were in Jersey? -Uh-huh. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
Jersey? That's supposed to be nice, but I suppose it's like anywhere - | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
depends if you get the weather. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:22 | |
We didn't. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Right. Well, that's everything checked | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
and it seems you've made really, really good progress. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
Your weight's down, your cholesterol is much better | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
and your blood pressure is just about normal. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
And what about that cloudiness in the urine? | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
It's all gone. That one you did today was super. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
Sorry it took us a wee while. It's a bit tricky, you know, | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
trying to hold the two things at once. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:47 | |
-Well, that's smashing. Isn't that great, Eric? -Yes. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Right. Well, I'll see you in three months. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
Oh, and don't forget - check those testicles! | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
I will... He will. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
See you. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Come on. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm | 0:03:13 | 0:03:14 | |
# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm | 0:03:16 | 0:03:20 | |
# Whoa-oh-oh-oh | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
# Whoa-oh-oh-oh | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh | 0:03:25 | 0:03:30 | |
# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. # | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
Right, Eric, go and get the big suitcase with the wheels down. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
-Let's get started. -Beth... | 0:03:36 | 0:03:37 | |
Go! | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
Oh, I forgot to get earplugs. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Eric! We forgot to get earplugs! | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
They'll give you headphones on the plane. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
It's not for the plane I'm wanting them. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
-It's not there! -What? | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
It's not here. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
-What? You're joking. -No. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
Did Ian not use it to shift some of his stuff? | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
-Oh, bugger. -Oh, come on, it'll be fine. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
Listen, can we not just take that big Adidas holdall | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
and we'll shove some bits and pieces into the cool bag | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
and you can take that as hand luggage? | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
I am not standing at Glasgow Airport | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
looking like I'm queuing for a laundrette, Eric. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
Forget it! | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
Go and find the funnel, | 0:04:14 | 0:04:15 | |
and start putting shampoo into those clear bottles. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
Why are we doing that? | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
So there's not a bomb. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:20 | |
Ian, it's me. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:24 | |
How many has it got now? | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
37 likes and two comments. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Has your Auntie Margaret liked it? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:29 | |
-Uh-huh. -What about Rita? | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
Who's Rita? | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
You know Rita - her that collects for the guide dogs | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
and went away over to help with the tidying up after the tsunami. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:40 | |
No. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:41 | |
She's only interested in herself, that one. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
What about Beth - has she liked it? | 0:04:44 | 0:04:46 | |
Not yet, no. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:47 | |
You're joking. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:48 | |
No. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:49 | |
Poke her! | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
-Hi, Cathy. -Hi, Eric. Oh, are you doing charity bags? | 0:04:56 | 0:05:00 | |
-Actually... -Where's Beth? | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
Beth! | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
Hi, Cathy, sorry, but we really are up to our eyes... | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
No, no, no, no, no, no, that's all right. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
I just thought I'd pop my head in to say thanks for putting up | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
with all that racket that's been going on | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
while we've been getting this hot tub installed. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
-That's all right. -And thanks for all your help, Eric, | 0:05:16 | 0:05:19 | |
when we had that problem with the drains. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
Colin has asked me to tell you that he was definitely not well that day, | 0:05:21 | 0:05:26 | |
so that's how come he had to leave you to it. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
Aye, no bother, Cath. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
Did you have to throw those cords in the bin? | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
-Aye. -Mmm. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:33 | |
As I say, if you don't mind, we're... | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
So, as an extra thank you, | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
we thought we'd like to get you round for a few drinks and... | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
a wee shot in the hot tub. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
-Oh, that's lovely but... -About half seven? | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
-Cathy... -I said to Colin, | 0:05:45 | 0:05:46 | |
"People like Beth and Eric can only dream of hot tubs - | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
"we need to get them round." | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Cathy, we can't. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
What? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:55 | |
We can't. Not tonight, anyway. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
How come? | 0:05:57 | 0:05:58 | |
-We're away on holiday. -Uh-huh, we've booked a holiday. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
The flight's first thing in the morning | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
so we need to pack and get organised... | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Well, where are you going? | 0:06:04 | 0:06:05 | |
Turkey. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
Oh. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
Oh, well. Well, that's that, then. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:09 | |
-Sorry, Cathy. -Oh, no, no, no, no, you're fine. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
-I hope you haven't gone to any bother. -Oh, no... | 0:06:11 | 0:06:15 | |
apart from getting a hot tub put in! | 0:06:15 | 0:06:16 | |
Well, maybe when we get back. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
Yeah, yeah, when you're back. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
You enjoy yourselves! | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
-We will. -We will. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
What's the matter? | 0:06:42 | 0:06:43 | |
-It's off! -Eh? | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
They're not coming! They're going on holiday. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
What? | 0:06:47 | 0:06:48 | |
They're going on holiday! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
Beth and Eric? | 0:06:51 | 0:06:52 | |
Yes. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:53 | |
Beth and Eric are going on holiday? | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
-Yes! -My God... | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
Beth and Eric? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:01 | |
Yes! | 0:07:01 | 0:07:02 | |
-It's a whopper. -Tell me about it. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
DOORBELL RINGS Aw, who the hell's that now? | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
Answer it! | 0:07:20 | 0:07:21 | |
-Hiya. -Ah, thanks, boys. -Christ, I'd forgotten the bloody size of it. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:27 | |
-It's a beast. -Lift it, Ian, don't drag it across the carpet. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
Are you sure you need this? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
Yes! Don't you start, as well. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:35 | |
Ah, there we are. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:36 | |
I'll get all my stuff in there, | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
plus my shoes in these wee zippy bits. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:40 | |
How many pairs of shoes are you taking? | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
Did you not see the pictures she showed us, Eric, of the old town? | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
If we go for a walk, I'll be needing flats. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
It's cobbled! Honestly! | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
Thanks for this, boys, that's fine. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
No worries. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:54 | |
Just watch you don't put too much in it... | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
otherwise you'll go over your allowance. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
What allowance? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:00 | |
Your baggage allowance. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:01 | |
You'll be fine, though, don't worry about it. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
I don't even know what ours is. Did they say? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
Have we got a baggage allowance, Eric? | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
I don't know. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:09 | |
-It'll be on your boarding pass. -What boarding pass? | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
Did they give us those? | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
I don't think they gave us boarding passes, did they, Eric? | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
-I don't know. -Oh, God, this is a nightmare. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
You print them off yourself at online check-in. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
I can do it for you. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
It'll be fine, you'll have 20kg or something. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Yeah, or it might be 15. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
Remember ours was 15 when we went to Barcelona and we didn't know? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
-Oh, no. -It was fine. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
Well, in the end. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
What do you mean in the end? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:33 | |
-We had to unpack the whole case. -Not at the airport? | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
-Mm-hmm, in the queue. -Oh, my God. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
Yeah. I had to bin a 2000-watt hairdryer and a pair of Air Max. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:42 | |
It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
Still, it was good when we got there. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
Yeah, yeah, it was, | 0:08:46 | 0:08:47 | |
until that guy pulled a knife on you at the cash point. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
-Remember that? -What? | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
-DOORBELL RINGS -If that's Cathy again... | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
-Beth. -Christine. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
Oh, what's going on here? | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
We're away on holiday - got a last-minute deal. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
Did you? Where to? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
-Turkey. -Turkey. Very nice. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
I've heard it's lovely. The beaches are meant to be beautiful. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
Oh, aye, and they'll be that bit quieter at the minute. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
Anyway, Christine, I'd better get on. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
Oh, of course, we'll not keep you. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
This is nothing that interesting. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
-What is it? -Oh, it's just Sophie's scan picture, | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
but if you've got more important things to do, | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
like picking out sundresses... | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
-In you come. -Thank you. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:27 | |
Right, there it is. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
You're all right, it's 20 kilos. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Room for your snorkel and flippers after all, Dad! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
-Very funny. -Have you ever been snorkelling, Mr Baird? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
No, and I'll not be doing any while we're away. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
I'll be getting my arse parked on a sunbed and I'll not be shifting. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:48 | |
We did snorkelling when we went to Greece, remember? | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
I got a carrier bag wrapped round my breathing pipe. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
So, are you looking forward to it? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Aye, it'll be nice to get a break and get away - get a wee bit of sun. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
Remember the first time we went abroad? | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
Aye. Corfu. Oh-ho, that was a great holiday. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
Yeah. Remember you got burnt on the first day? | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
Oh, aye, so I did, aye. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:08 | |
I had to sleep sitting up with a damp towel. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
And then I got food poisoning. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
-Did you? -Aye, do you not remember when we went to the water park | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
-and you took me on the big slide? -Oh, aye. Aye. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
And Mum got her bag stolen. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
Aye. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
Still, it was good to get away. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
What is it? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:26 | |
Your flight's at 6.15 in the morning. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
Check-in opens at 4.15. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
Aye, I know, hardly worth going to bed, is it? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
Have you booked a taxi? | 0:10:33 | 0:10:34 | |
You don't need to book a taxi. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:35 | |
-Aye, right enough, I'll just phone one in the morning. -Aye. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
No, we'll give you a lift. Won't we? | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
So there we were, going through the corridors, | 0:10:42 | 0:10:45 | |
still no sign of ultrasound, | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
so I stopped this wee doctor and, lo and behold, | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
was it no' the wee guy that did my knee back in 2003? | 0:10:51 | 0:10:56 | |
Really? | 0:10:56 | 0:10:57 | |
Aye. Did I never tell you about that, Beth? | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
It was after that fall I had in the jelly bean sandals | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
with that stupid laminate floor. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
What it was, there was this clicking sound in my joint, right, | 0:11:06 | 0:11:11 | |
-wasn't there, Sophie? -Mm-hmm. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
It was like... | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
SHE CLICKS | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
Can you imagine it? | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
I mean, it'd drive you round the twist, | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
especially somebody as active as me. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
Christine... | 0:11:37 | 0:11:38 | |
Oh, sorry, Beth, we're holding you back here. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:43 | |
I hate to seem rude. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:44 | |
No, no, not at all. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
I quite understand. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:47 | |
It's my fault. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
On you go through and put the kettle on. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
We'll get started on the scan proper when you get back. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
Afternoon, Squire! | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
Or should I say... | 0:12:14 | 0:12:15 | |
Well, how do you say "good afternoon" in Turkish? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
-Erm, I've got no idea. -Well, you should. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
See, wherever we go, I always make sure I learn a few wee phrases, | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
you know, just to keep me in with the locals. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
Nothing too complicated, just the likes of, | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
"Please, thank you, chips." | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
Well, I'll make sure I get a wee phrase book at the airport. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
-Colin, I don't mean to sound rude... -So, Turkey, eh? | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
Aye, Turkey. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:38 | |
Aye, it's some place. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:39 | |
Oh, have you been? | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
No, no, I've seen it in the brochure | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
but I always thought it looked a bit manky. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
Ah, right, anyway, I... | 0:12:46 | 0:12:47 | |
So, listen, do you want me to do the odd bit of watering | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
your plants while you're away? | 0:12:50 | 0:12:51 | |
Actually, that might not be a bad idea. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
Smashing. I'll just come in and see where they are. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
Well... HE SIGHS | 0:12:56 | 0:13:00 | |
Now that means I have to get up at 4am in the morning | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
to drive them to the bloody airport. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
-Oh, come on, it's not that bad. -Not for you. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
-All right, well, I'll do it, then. -No. -Why not? | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
I don't know. It would just be weird. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
Would you get me to drive your parents to the airport on my own? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
No. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:14 | |
See? | 0:13:14 | 0:13:15 | |
Well, yeah, maybe, | 0:13:15 | 0:13:16 | |
if you stuck to the story that you were my friend from the rugby club. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:21 | |
Just come for a bit, have a couple of drinks, come on! | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
We need to be up early to go to the airport. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
Look, it's all right! I'll take you to the airport. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
Ian's said he'll take us. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
No, listen, I'll do the airport run. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
You boys come in for a drink as well, | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
and try out this new hot tub of ours. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
You've got a hot tub? | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Do we have a hot tub? Do we have a hot tub? | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
What do you think all that business with the drains was? | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
I thought you were getting your toilet fixed. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
No! We were getting a hot tub put in. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:50 | |
You want to see this thing, Ian. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:51 | |
It can take 12 folk at a time. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
It's got underwater lights, | 0:13:54 | 0:13:55 | |
and it's got these wee jets that you can position any way you like | 0:13:55 | 0:13:59 | |
so that they can pummel your bits. What do you say? | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
-All right, then. -Cool. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Lovely. That's that all sorted, then. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Right, tomorrow morning, what time's your check-in? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
Quarter past four. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
Great... | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
Obviously, we still don't know whether it's a boy or a girl | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
but, as I says to Sophie, either way has its drawbacks. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:20 | |
I'm really hoping it's a wee boy. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
I was the same. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:24 | |
Hi. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
Oh, here he is, my wee pal. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
He liked it on Facebook, didn't you, son? | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
-What? -The picture of my scan. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
Oh, is that what it was? | 0:14:34 | 0:14:35 | |
I thought it was a satellite picture. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
No, it's a picture of Sophie's baby. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:40 | |
Really? It looked like a tornado to me. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
-Where's Ian? -He's upstairs looking for swimming trunks. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
I brought Eric's swim stuff down. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:47 | |
Oh, it's not for him. It's for Ian, for the hot tub party. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
What hot tub party? | 0:14:50 | 0:14:51 | |
We're all going next door for a shot in Cathy's new hot tub, aren't we? | 0:14:51 | 0:14:55 | |
Oh, lovely. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
Oh, Beth, I'm so glad you changed your mind. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:11 | |
Come on in! | 0:15:11 | 0:15:12 | |
In you go, Jaz. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Oh! | 0:15:14 | 0:15:15 | |
Hot tub's bubbling. | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
-Oh, ha-ha-ha. -In you go. -Right. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
SHE EXHALES | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
There you are. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
Where's your swimsuit, Missus? | 0:15:27 | 0:15:28 | |
Oh, I'll not bother actually going in, Cathy. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:30 | |
Oh, Beth, come on. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
Who cares if you've got a bit of cellulite? | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
Just face the other way when you get in. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
I'm all right, thanks. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
Boo! | 0:15:38 | 0:15:39 | |
At least these two are dressed for it. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:41 | |
There's Ian with his wee chicken legs, | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
and look at you, Jaz, with your trunks. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
He's like a wee hairy Tom Daley, isn't he? | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
(It's only a gay man that could carry those off, Beth.) | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
Where'd you get them? | 0:15:52 | 0:15:53 | |
Mr Baird lent me them. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
Right, on you come through. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
It's a few years since I've worn them. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
Here we are. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:06 | |
Hello there! | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Bloody hell, it's like a Bangkok whorehouse. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Shh. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:11 | |
-Wow. -Do you like it? | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
It's basically an exact replica of a hotel we went to in Thailand, | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
except we got our cushions out of Dobbies. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
Oh, it's lovely, Cathy. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
Thanks, Beth. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
Wee chim-chiminea there - | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
that's great for doing marshmallows and burning wee bits of wood | 0:16:25 | 0:16:29 | |
and bank statements. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
Is that a...? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:32 | |
And that's my Buddha. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
Oh, that's lovely. Are you a Buddhist, Cathy? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
I am, but I still eat hot dogs. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
We wanted this to be a peaceful place, a place where we could | 0:16:38 | 0:16:42 | |
come and just be alone with our thoughts, didn't we, Cath? | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
We did, aye. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
Plus his knee's just the right height for sitting an ashtray on. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
And here she is - here is the jewel in the crown! | 0:16:49 | 0:16:54 | |
-SHE SQUEALS -Oh... | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
Oh, look at that! | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
Yeah, it's some size. | 0:16:58 | 0:16:59 | |
You can get them smaller but we weren't interested in those. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
This place we went to in Thailand, it had one that took 30 folk. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
Yeah, but we won't have dogs drinking out of ours, though. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
Switch it on, Col. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:09 | |
HOT TUB WHIRS | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
-Ho-ho-ho-ho! -Oh! | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
And it's... It's very relaxing. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
-I mean, even the sound of it. -HOT TUB BUBBLES LOUDLY | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Sorry? | 0:17:20 | 0:17:21 | |
Very relaxing, the sound of the water. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
What's he saying? | 0:17:24 | 0:17:25 | |
I've no idea! | 0:17:25 | 0:17:26 | |
Do you feel the wood vibrating? It's making my fillings hurt. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
Switch it off. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
What? | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
Switch it off. We're not going in it yet. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
Colin! Just... | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
-HOT TUB STOPS BUBBLING -Now... | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
who's for a glass of something? | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Oh, just a quick one, Cathy, | 0:17:41 | 0:17:42 | |
we've still quite a lot to do for going away. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
Yeah, of course you have. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
So, are you all set, then, Missus? | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
Not really, as I said, erm... | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
This is a surprise, them going on holiday. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
The number of times we've said to them, | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
"Come away with us to the time-share," | 0:17:55 | 0:17:56 | |
but no, no, no, they're having none of it. | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
I said to Col, "Anyone would think they didn't want to spend | 0:17:58 | 0:18:01 | |
"a fortnight in a log cabin with us!" | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
Well, we just saw it and thought, "Why the hell not?" | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
Aw, so Turkey? | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
Uh-huh. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:09 | |
That's the thing, last-minute - you just take what you can get. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
The woman next to me at work went to Turkey. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
-Oh, did she? -Yeah. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:15 | |
-Did she enjoy it? -Yeah! | 0:18:15 | 0:18:17 | |
Well, sort of. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
She went to Istanbul for the day and she got spat on cos she's blonde. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:23 | |
You deserve it. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:24 | |
Not to get spat on, but a holiday. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
-Here's Colin with the drinkies. -Oh, ta. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
Remind me to tell you about that time we booked last-minute | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
and the company went bust. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
- Right, here we are. - Oh, that's lovely, thank you. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:39 | |
-Oh, yeah, lovely, thanks. -That's you. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
Steady, young man, you're up to drive to the airport in a few hours. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:45 | |
Right, let's have a toast. Come on, quick, quick. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:49 | |
This is a very special occasion. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:53 | |
It's been a long, long time coming. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
Aye. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
-CATHY AND COLIN: -To the hot tub! -ALL: Holiday! | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
-And the holiday. The holiday, too, Colin! -Yeah. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
-DOORBELL RINGS -Who the hell's that? | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
Eh, I think that might be Christine. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
Christine? Who told her? | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
JAZ GULPS | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
Hello, Cathy. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
Hi, Mrs Whyte. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:18 | |
Sorry we're late. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:19 | |
Sophie wanted to shave her legs before she came over. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
I didnae bother - mine are beyond it. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
Let's get a soak in this tub of yours, then, eh? | 0:19:24 | 0:19:28 | |
Whoopsie. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:29 | |
-I can't believe he did that. -Eh? | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
Colin. I thought he was going to take them to the airport. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:39 | |
He's a fly bastard. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
What are we going to do? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:42 | |
-We'll stay for a bit. -Not too long, though, please. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
-Why? -I'm cold and my bollocks keep falling out the side of these. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:48 | |
Right, that'll do me. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:52 | |
Hello, everybody, here we are. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
Hi. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:56 | |
Oh, there's Jaz, my wee pal, here he is. | 0:19:56 | 0:20:00 | |
I can see your balls, son. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Hello, Beth. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
Hello, Christine. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:05 | |
Oh, my, oh, my, look at this! | 0:20:05 | 0:20:10 | |
I'll tell you something, Eric, that wee Colin, | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
he is a wanker but he cannae half go a drill. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
Aye, I'll give him his due, he's done a good job. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:18 | |
Oh, aye, I should have got him over to ours last year | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
when we were redoing that patio. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
Oh, what an exercise that was. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
Me with the bags of sand, and our Sophie back and forward | 0:20:26 | 0:20:31 | |
with slabs in a wheelbarrow like Fred fucking West. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
Hey, look at this pair in the goonies. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
Are you going to do some synchronised swimming? | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
No, no, she'll just paddle with her legs. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
We don't want the bubbles agitating Baby. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
-CHRISTINE LAUGHS -Speaking of which, | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
you havenae seen the scan picture yet, have you? | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
No. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:49 | |
Wait till we tell you all about it. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
Cathy, I'll need to go. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:54 | |
-What? -I'll need to go. I've got to finish packing. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
Oh, don't leave me with her. You can't do that. | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
Cathy... | 0:20:59 | 0:21:00 | |
Get Eric to do it. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
We haven't even had a shot in the hot tub yet. Come on, please? | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
Come on, sit down. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:06 | |
Here, Eric, all set for a quick dip, eh? | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
Oh, not for me today, no. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:13 | |
Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're worried about stripping off, surely? | 0:21:13 | 0:21:17 | |
I mean, you that's been on a diet. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:18 | |
No, no, it's just, you know, hot tubs are not really my thing. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:22 | |
Oh, come on, don't be shy, Eric, | 0:21:22 | 0:21:23 | |
you're in the best shape I've ever seen you in. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
You must be right down to a, a what, an XL? | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
As a matter of fact, we were in at the doctor's this morning. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
The nurse was saying she was pretty pleased with how I was doing. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
Here, is that no' smashing? Well done. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
-That's all your healthy living paid off, eh? -Hmm. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
Well, get that down you. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
I'll get us a couple of cans of Stella out of the garage. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
Here, Cathy, you get your arse over here | 0:21:44 | 0:21:47 | |
and have a look at this scan picture. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
Now, be very careful with that, please, Cathy. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:56 | |
Yeah, it's the only one I've got. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
Oh, Sophie, look at it, it's so tiny. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:02 | |
I know. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:03 | |
And all curled up, like a wee maggot in a nest. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:07 | |
Oh, it's changed days, I'll tell you. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
They never had any of these scans when I was pregnant. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
No, the doctor just put his specs on, | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
had a quick nosey about with his torch and sent you packing. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:20 | |
-Cheers. -Cheers. Good health, aye. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
-And how are you feeling, Sophie? -I'm OK. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
-No morning sickness? -No. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
-Sore back? -No. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
Prolapse, varicose veins, constipation? | 0:22:28 | 0:22:31 | |
Eh, no, no, no. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:32 | |
-Any cravings? -No. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
I have. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:36 | |
Another glass of your bubbly, Cathy, thanks. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:39 | |
Oh, she... The scan picture... | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
-It's fine. -Eric. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
What is it? | 0:22:47 | 0:22:48 | |
-Go home and finish our packing. -Oh, what? | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
On you go. I don't want to leave everything until the last minute. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
Oh, come on, can we not just do it later? | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
-No. Go. -Beth! | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
Coming, Cathy. | 0:22:57 | 0:22:58 | |
Ian, there's more Tropicana in the fridge if you want it. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
I'm OK, thanks. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
And, Jaz, one of your wee pals down there's making a bid for freedom. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:09 | |
Here, Beth, are you all set for going away? | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
Just about. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
Where are you flying from? | 0:23:15 | 0:23:16 | |
-Glasgow. -Oh, aye. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:17 | |
That's a changed place since they had that terrorist attack, isn't it? | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Oh, yes. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:21 | |
Oh, it's like Fort Knox. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:23 | |
Mind you, I knew a girl that worked in there, | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
spraying the perfumes, you know? | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
See the hours they've got them doing? | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
She was about ready for setting fire to herself to get out the place, | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
never mind get in. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
Changed days, though, right enough, eh, Beth? | 0:23:36 | 0:23:39 | |
Isis, Al-Qaeda, Boko Haram - a pack of bandits. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:45 | |
I mean, say what you want about them, | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
you knew where you were with the IRA. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Right, is it not about time we christened this hot tub? | 0:23:49 | 0:23:54 | |
Oh, eh, eh, careful with that, | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
-please, Cathy, don't get it wet. -HOT TUB BUBBLES LOUDLY | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
-Colin, make sure everyone's got a drink. -Eh? | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
Make sure everyone's got a drink! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
Oh. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:03 | |
Right, you, get your cossie on. Come on, Missus. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:07 | |
Well, I won't, Cathy. All my stuff's packed for going away. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
Come on, boys, get your tops off. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
Let's see the six-packs! Come on. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
-Off, off, off, off! -Off, off, off, off, off, off... | 0:24:15 | 0:24:20 | |
LOUD BUBBLING CONTINUES | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
Cathy. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:23 | |
Oh, what did I tell you? | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
-Just leave it. -Oh! -GLASSES CLANG AND SMASH | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
-Oh, my God! -Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
Christine, you stupid cow! | 0:24:30 | 0:24:31 | |
-Switch it off, Col. -Eh? | 0:24:31 | 0:24:34 | |
Switch the fucker off! | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
Oh! Oh, God. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
-They've smashed. -BUBBLING STOPS | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
They've all smashed, Christine! | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
Well, don't blame me - it was you throwing that on the ground. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:50 | |
I did not throw it on the ground. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:51 | |
You did so. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
Oh, shut up, Christine. Nobody gives a shit about it. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:55 | |
Oh, I beg your pardon. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
Nobody cares about your scan picture. | 0:24:57 | 0:25:01 | |
Excuse me, but Beth had me over at hers | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
for hours talking about it, didn't you, Beth? | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
Cathy, just leave it. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:08 | |
Nobody cares? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
Well, nobody gives a shite about your hot tub either - | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
big, overgrown paddling pool. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Christine, don't start. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
Well, no wonder. There's always something with her, eh? | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
If it's not hot tubs, it's fancy fitted kitchens | 0:25:20 | 0:25:24 | |
and televisions in the lavvy. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:27 | |
What's next - a dry ski slope on the fucking roof, eh? | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
Enough! That is enough. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:33 | |
It was an accident. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:34 | |
My beautiful hot tub is full of broken glass. | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
It's not the end of a world, Cathy, is it, Colin? | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
Well, you can say that but, I mean, I need to get drained, you know, | 0:25:40 | 0:25:44 | |
and get the wee bits of glass hosed out it. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
Shards. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:47 | |
Well, why don't we all go inside? | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
It's getting a bit chilly now, anyway. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
Come on, let's go in. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:53 | |
Throwing Sophie's scan picture on the ground like that. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
-Go home, Christine! -Don't even start! -Oh, come on! | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
-Don't even start. -That's enough! -Don't even... | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
-Stop it! Come on. -We've had years of it. Years of it. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
The pair of you are like a couple of barbarians. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
Come on now, Cathy, come on. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:06 | |
Honest to God, come on. CATHY SOBS | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
She's totally up herself, so she is. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
That's just typical. I didn't even get a chance to dip my toe in it. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:17 | |
CATHY SOBS AND MOANS | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
Listen, Cathy, I know this isn't a great time, | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
but I really should... | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
stick the kettle on. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
Beth, could I get a wee cup of tea? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:29 | |
Shh! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
Don't shush me. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:32 | |
HOT TUB BUBBLES LOUDLY | 0:26:56 | 0:27:01 | |
Help! | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
Oh, God, no. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:14 | |
-Eric! -HOT TUB BUBBLES LOUDLY | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
Eric! No! Eric! | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
MUSIC: The First Cut Is The Deepest by Rod Stewart | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
# The first cut is the deepest Baby, I know | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
# The first cut is the deepest... # | 0:27:24 | 0:27:28 | |
Oh, this is the life, eh? | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
Oh, yes. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
# She's cursed | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
# When it comes to loving me | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
# She's worse... # | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
Are you wanting a wee drink of something? | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
I wouldn't say no. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:45 | |
# I still want you by my side | 0:27:45 | 0:27:50 | |
# Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried... # | 0:27:50 | 0:27:54 | |
You're wanting me to get it? | 0:27:56 | 0:27:58 | |
If you would. | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
# And if you want | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
# I'll try to love again | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
# Baby, I'll try to love again | 0:28:07 | 0:28:10 | |
# But I know... # | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
HE SIGHS Ouch! | 0:28:12 | 0:28:15 | |
# The first cut is the deepest... # | 0:28:15 | 0:28:18 |