Episode 2 Walk on the Wild Side


Episode 2

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Transcript


LineFromTo

-Hello. Hello, there. You look nice.

-Ooh, I like your house.

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What lovely knickknacks.

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I think your should make more of a feature of your knickknacks -

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they're exquisite.

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We don't have any, but if we did, we would make a feature for them.

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Lecture over. Cheerio. Bye.

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Do I look awake? I feel awake.

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I've had six coffees, a mochaccino and a biscotti. It cost a bomb!

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I've spent a week's wages already and it's only 10:00.

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Tell me about it. I've had seven coffees and a double flappuccino -

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it cost loads. Worth it, though - I feel brilliant!

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One more coffee each or we'll never get up tonight.

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-Where are we going again?

-Stringfeathers.

-BOTH:

-Nice!

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SHE YAWNS

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Oops, sorry. No, I am listening - tell me more about your kids.

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I can't believe this. Some friends they are.

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They organise a party to celebrate

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pulling through a triple bypass operation

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-and not one of them shows up.

-Surprise!

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Oh, my heart!

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THUD

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Yes, I thought that might be a bad idea.

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Sorry, mate! (Call the ambulance.)

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THEY LAUGH

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No! That's good! I keep doing it!

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-It's so funny!

-I know!

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I know! It's hilarious!

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-All right, once more... Once more. Are you ready?

-Yeah! Yeah!

-OK.

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Picture the scene - one of us, right...

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LAUGHTER

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..walks into the bar...

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LAUGHTER

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..up comes the barman, who says, bold as brass...

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LAUGHTER

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.."Why the long face?!"

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LAUGHTER

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"Why the long face?!"

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Whoo!

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Eurgh, what a day.

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Network crash, lost my wallet, phone's run out of battery -

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couldn't get any worse.

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Eurgh! Oh....

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Cracking stuff.

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So, here is Edgar Trolls, the Ghanaian, and a big crowd favourite.

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He's been dominant this season - and he's over! He's almost over.

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The bar there is at 42 centimetres,

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which means a new championship record. He's still going.

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He's making it look like a training jump, really.

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Yes, he is still going - and he's over - a good, clean landing.

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And the bar stays up! The bar stays up!

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He's just clipped it on the way, but it stays up.

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That's great, and the crowd are going wild, and so they should!

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Yes, he had an enormous amount of expectation on his shoulders, but

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he took the jump incredibly well - look at the effort on his face.

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And it's a huge jump, really - he cleared it by a mile.

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That's serious high jumping, that's what I'm talking about.

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And deservedly, Trolls has got the gold.

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Shouldn't have had that 12th coffee.

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I can't blink any more and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.

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I don't get it. Mary had the same as me and she went to bed hours ago.

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Tell me about it! I tried to go to bed, but rang one of those late-night quiz thingies.

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-Name something a woman keeps in her handbag.

-What was it? A mouse?

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That's what I said - then I said phone, lipstick, taxi numbers.

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-What was the answer?

-Spatula. They're just making them up now.

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Hello there. I'm Vernon Brooks, I'm your examiner for today's test.

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Michael, how many times have you done the test?

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-This will be my fifth time.

-OK. And you, Alison?

-I've failed four times.

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OK, so you know what's in store. There's no need to worry.

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You're holding position one really well -

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we'll soon be ready to move off.

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Remember to look all around you, give a clear signal,

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relax, and then, in your own time,

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just start flapping your wings really, really fast

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until you take off.

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In your own time.

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Feel free to move off whenever you're ready.

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MUSIC: "Crazy In Love" by Beyonce

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RECORD SCRATCHES

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RECORD SCRATCHES

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And...in your own time.

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Feel free to... pull out whenever you're ready.

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-Hugh!

-What?

-Hugh!

-What?

-Question Time's on!

-Question Time?! Now?

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-Question Time!

-Question Time?

-We're going to miss it! Who's on the panel?

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I think it's Paddy Ashdown, George Osborne and Ross Kemp On Gangs.

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-Sweet!

-Smashing line-up.

-Oh, no, wait - it's just an advert for it.

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I thought it was a bit early.

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Nailed it. Perfect blending.

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Me, branch, branch, me - invisible to all.

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Eh up - what's this on t'twig?

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Oh, back to the drawing board, I suppose.

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OK, the test is now complete, and unfortunately this time,

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-it is a fail for both of you.

-Oh, no, not again.

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I'm never going to get my licence.

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I'm failing you both for not using your wing mirrors.

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Oh, Richard - good to see you. How are the Spanish lessons coming on?

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-Not too bad, thank you, Neil.

-Not long till holiday now.

-No, no.

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-Dos weeks.

-You seem to be rattling through those language tapes.

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-Yes, indeed, I'm on tape dos of three.

-Lovely stuff.

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I hope you got a bargain -

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-I hear it's a good time to book at the moment.

-I couldn't go wrong.

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Dos weeks all-inclusive, dos-star hotel, dos hundred notes.

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Lovely stuff. Are the kids going with you?

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No, they're going to be staying at Carol's mum's,

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so it's just going to be the dos of us.

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-Well, if I don't see you, have a great trip.

-Muchas gracias.

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HE SPEAKS IN FLUENT SPANISH

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Pack it in, Rich.

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Night-time...

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Daytime!

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Night-time...

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Daytime!

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Night-time...

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Daytime!

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-What are you doing?

-Having a game of Night-time daytime! You want to play?

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No, you're all right - I've got an Xbox.

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Ssh! Ssh.

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MUSIC: "Spring" from The Four Seasons by Vivaldi

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MUSIC DRAWS TO AN END

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-APPLAUSE

-Bravo, bravo!

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-Oh, no - here he is, Jumping Justin.

-Good day to you, boys.

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"Oh, look at me, I'm Jumping Justin. See how I prance, what, what!"

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It's called style, Leonard - style! And you're a savage.

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-"Oh, I'm Jumping Justin!"

-No, I'm Jumping Justin!

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No, I'M Jumping Justin!

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-You're all fools, goodbye.

-Ooh!

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-He's cool, though.

-Yes, nice moves.

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-I wish he'd hang around with us more.

-I really like him.

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Oh, hello there. Welcome to the village.

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-Glad to see someone's moved into the old vicarage.

-What? Why're you glad? Who are you?

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I'm Lorraine, I'm on the committee.

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Committee? What committee?

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-I could organise some of the Scouts to clear your front garden for you.

-What's wrong with it? It's fine.

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Yes, dear, but we've been voted prettiest village in the show

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for the last 19 years, and it's that time of year again.

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Prettiest village? Couldn't give two hoots. Hoot! See? Just one.

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-That's all you're getting.

-Yes, but it's just that...

-Shut up!

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-Well, I really think...

-Shut up!

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-But the neighbourhood!

-I told you, shut up!

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Well, what an awful skank!

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-Si-i-id.

-Who's that?

-This is your conscience, Sid.

-What?

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-You've been a very naughty boy, Sid.

-I ain't.

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Leaving them banana skins on the floor so people slipped on them.

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-No, I didn't. The bin bag, it ripped.

-bin bags?

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-To dispose of biodegradable banana skins? You must be punished.

-What? No!

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Ha-ha! Gets him every time!

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MUSIC: "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson

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Ow!

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Heh-heh!

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Heh-heh!

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-Oh, Kevin - that's a lovely tribute.

-I just miss him, Mum.

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Karen! Karen! It's a Spitfire, love.

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-Oh, have a listen to that.

-Oh.

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Rolls-Royce Merlin 45 supercharged V12 engine - what a beauty!

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I suppose it's better than his Morris dancing phase.

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Can you come inside and wash your hands now, please, Cristiano?

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Ah, Mum - can't Jamie stay for dinner?

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-No, it's time for Jamie to go home.

-Oh, Mum, please?

-I said no.

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Oh, Jamie's mum lets him stay out.

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Well, I'm not Jamie's mum, am I? Jamie, come here, please.

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I said go home!

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Now, you, bath - now!

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Dean, at last, where have you been? We're meant to be going out.

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Sorry, Rach, but have I got a treat for you!

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-Oh, no - what have you gone and bought now?

-Hear me out.

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We're meant to be saving for the new nest.

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But I got us something for the nest.

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-Oh, OK - was it that bedding I showed you?

-It's better than that.

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I've had a state-of-the-art, quadraphonic,

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digital home-entertainment centre fitted.

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Oh, no.

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Bass! How low can you go?

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-Check it out, Rach!

-It's hurting my head.

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-That'll be the sub-woofer!

-Turn it off!

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IT GOES OFF

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Oh! Thank you.

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-I thought you LIKED music.

-We agreed to consult on major purchases.

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MUSIC GOES ON You what, love? I can't hear ya!

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-It just keeps going off - I'll have to get it looked at.

-Gah!

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OK, boys - plankton break over. Pull your fish fingers out, come on.

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We have some scuba divers approaching.

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You know the drill - everyone into position. OK...two, three, four.

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Duh-duh.

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Duh-duh.

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THEY SING THE "JAWS" THEME TUNE

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Louder, boys - louder! Give me fortissimo. More cello, Roger.

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Use the gills. Brian, I love it! You're even scaring me. Andrew!

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-Andrew, are you chewing?

-No.

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Well, I hope you brought enough for everyone. Come on, spit it out.

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OK, back into positions. And one, two...

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-DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

-Oh, yeah - going down Shimmers!

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Oh, disaster - there's a massive queue here.

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We're never going to get in.

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Don't worry, Jenny put us on the guest list. She knows the bouncer.

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-Oh, result - good old Jenny.

-Hi, I'm... Argh!

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-Er, did you, like, totally eat my mate?

-Aye. What about it?

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-Well, it was his birthday.

-Well, he wasn't on the list.

-He was.

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-Jenny put him on the list.

-Oh. Was his name Andy?

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-Yes, Andy Connor-Smyth.

-Yes, Jenny did actually tell us about him.

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-Are you going to mention this to Jenny?

-Yes, I am - this is an outrage.

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-Sorry, mate - that was the wrong answer.

-Uh!

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Excuse me, I'm having a bit of trouble with my wing.

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-I think it's broken. Can anyone help?

-Do I know anyone who can help?

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GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYS

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Gather round, brothers and sisters! Join me!

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Are you ready to receive the healing? Ready to receive the light?

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Feel the power and feel the love.

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If feeling the love is wrong, then I don't ever want to be right!

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-I don't believe it! Look, everyone - he's healed my broken wing.

-Behold!

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He believed and now he has received the healing.

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-Hang on, it's still broken.

-Nonbeliever!

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-Oh, no, it is working again.

-It's a miracle!

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Pele, Kaka, Kaka, Kaka, Kaka! Kaka...

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Kaka...

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Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oal!

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Brazi-i-i-i-i-il!

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ROCK MUSIC

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What you looking at?

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You want some? Eh?

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Well, gertcha!

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Why don't you take a picture?

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Yeah, I was watching that Deal Or No Deal. You seen that?

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Don't see no point to it.

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Giving it all that, "Blue box, red box, banker, Noel Edmonds, eh?

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"Bonkers, bonkers, it's Mr Blobby." Eh?

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Rubbish.

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Two little posh lads celebrating a birthday?

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No, can't help you, officer. Eh?

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Oh, Arnold - the brigade - the best years of our lives.

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-Brigade is a wonderful place to be when there's no wars on.

-Here, here.

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Gives a chap a sense of purpose - endless days filled with brekkie, bit of marching around,

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showers, bit of lunch, round of golf, bath, 40 winks,

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then down to the mess for G&Ts at 5:00. Bliss.

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-That's the life.

-Arnold! Are we under attack?

-Quite possibly, Alistair.

-Quick!

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Dust down my blunderbuss. Show yourselves, you cowards!

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-How does my moustache look, Arnold?

-Fearsome.

-Good show. Thought as much.

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Come on, Billy - everybody's going in.

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Look, be a big, brave boy now.

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-No, Mum - I'm scared!

-Come on. The first day of term should be exciting.

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-You make lots of new friends.

-I don't want any new friends. They've got you.

0:14:240:14:29

Look, love - you can't live in my mouth all your life.

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-You've got to fly the nest one day.

-Please, Mum?

-No, no, no. Let go!

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-Come on! You'll be fine.

-I won't be fine!

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I'll go to school, everybody hates me, they talk about me behind my back,

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they say I smell and my neck wobbles when I talk.

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-You have to go in, darling.

-But why do I?

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Cos you're the headmaster.

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HE LAUGHS

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Oh, dear. He's trying to compose himself, but...

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HE LAUGHS

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Oh, classic.

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John, I never thought I'd laugh so much. Big-nosed monkey snooker.

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MUSIC: "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye

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# I've been really trying, baby

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# Trying to hold back these feelings for so long

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# And if you feel like I feel, baby

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# Come on, oh, come on

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# Ooh, let's get it on

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# Ah, babe... #

0:15:360:15:38

-Boo!

-ALL: Argh!

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Ha-ha - gets them every time!

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Oh, Wendy.

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Wendy, Wendy - there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be

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-right now.

-I know exactly what you mean, Stephen.

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-You make me feel like it's just me and you versus the world.

-Wendy?

-Yes?

0:15:500:15:55

Wendy? Will you...?

0:15:550:15:57

-All right, lovebirds. Mind if I come and join youse?

-Actually, Phil...

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-Wendy and I would...

-Thanking you.

-Ouch! Phil, we were actually...

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Don't mind me. You won't even notice I'm here.

0:16:050:16:08

-When is he going to move out?

-He's your brother.

-Any of those Wagon Wheels left?

0:16:080:16:11

-MUSIC ON

-Sorry, Rach - we're going to just have to wait

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-until the batteries run down.

-I'm leaving you, Dean.

-All right.

0:16:150:16:18

Two sugars, but only if you're making one for yourself!

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And the Lord said go forth and spit, for you are llama, my child,

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and spitting is in your blood.

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And the llama did spit and cover all the earth with his spit.

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And his wife did spit and his children did spit

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and their children did spit.

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And now, he says to us, spit, for it is your right.

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-Blessed all that spit, for they shall know heaven.

-Speak up!

-Shh!

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-Mum, quiet. I can't hear a word he's saying.

-Shh!

0:16:460:16:51

-Oi! Will you shut up?

-Did he say blessed are those that knit?

0:16:510:16:54

Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally.

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It refers to anyone involved in the manufacturing of textile products.

0:16:570:17:02

-Oh, good - well, I'm in.

-You don't knit.

-Will you blooming shut up?

0:17:020:17:07

Language! And Terry, stop chewing so loudly.

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I'll chew if I want to - I'm a llama. That's essentially what I do.

0:17:100:17:15

Yes, we chew and we knit.

0:17:150:17:17

-He didn't say knit, he said blessed are those that spit.

-ALL: Oh!

0:17:170:17:22

Oh, that IS nice.

0:17:220:17:24

-He looks like he's going to ask me.

-I think I'm going to ask her.

0:17:240:17:28

-I wish he'd just ask me.

-I should ask her.

-Why won't he ask me?

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-What if she says no?

-I'm not going to say no.

0:17:310:17:34

-Come on, don't be a wimp - just ask.

-Be a man and just ask.

0:17:340:17:37

-Ask!

-Ask!

-Ask!

0:17:370:17:40

-Ahem... Do you like cheese?

-No.

0:17:400:17:45

Oh, dagger in the heart.

0:17:450:17:47

Oh, there's Emma - I might say hello.

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Right, there's no-one around, I'm safe.

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-SHE PASSES WIND

-Emma!

-Oh, typical.

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This is typical. Hiya, Trace. Come on, clear! Cor, it's thick!

0:17:550:18:00

-Don't come up!

-Why?

-I've got chickenpox.

0:18:000:18:03

-It's all right, I've had it.

-This is the new one, from...Taiwan.

0:18:030:18:06

Oh, no - that's terrible.

0:18:060:18:10

Chickenpox, on top of your rancid bum burps?

0:18:100:18:13

You poor lamb.

0:18:130:18:15

All right, chief - word to the wise.

0:18:150:18:17

It's tough around here, so you've got to gain respect.

0:18:170:18:20

It's all about how you present yourself. You've got to look tough.

0:18:200:18:23

People see me on the street, they know not to mess. I'm menacing.

0:18:230:18:28

What you need is a proper tough walk.

0:18:280:18:30

Be lucky.

0:18:330:18:35

Be lucky.

0:18:370:18:38

Be lucky.

0:18:400:18:42

Oh, at last, he's gone. What a frightful imposition.

0:18:420:18:45

-No matter, dear. What were you saying?

-Yes, erm...

0:18:450:18:48

Well, this last year has been the most wonderful of all my life

0:18:480:18:52

and, well, I was wondering if you would do me the great honour of...

0:18:520:18:55

-of becoming my...

-All right, you two?

0:18:550:18:59

It's like Piccadilly Circus out there. I am rough.

0:18:590:19:02

I've eaten three nets of them BabyBels -

0:19:020:19:04

I forgot to take the wax off!

0:19:040:19:06

All red on my teeth.

0:19:060:19:08

MUSIC: "Africa" by Toto

0:19:080:19:10

# I hear the drums echoing tonight

0:19:130:19:16

# But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation

0:19:160:19:23

# Ba-dow, dow-dow

0:19:230:19:24

# She's coming in, 12:30 flight

0:19:240:19:28

# The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation... #

0:19:280:19:34

Oh, this guy is great! I love this song! Go on, sing it!

0:19:340:19:39

# Hoping to find some long-forgotten words or ancient melodies

0:19:400:19:46

# He turned to me as if to say

0:19:480:19:50

# "Hurry, boy It's waiting there for you..." #

0:19:510:19:54

Brilliant! That's why I hang around with these guys!

0:19:540:19:57

These guys know how to party!

0:19:570:19:59

THEY ALL SING THE CHORUS

0:19:590:20:03

# There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

0:20:030:20:08

# I bless the rains down in Africa

0:20:080:20:13

# Going to take some time to do the things we never have... #

0:20:130:20:20

Oh, this is brilliant -

0:20:220:20:24

I wonder if they're having this much fun down in India?

0:20:240:20:27

SITAR MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:270:20:30

Hot, isn't it, Rajesh?

0:20:340:20:36

Nah, boring.

0:20:380:20:39

# I bless the rains down in Africa

0:20:390:20:43

# Going to take some time to do the things we never have

0:20:430:20:51

# Ba-dow-dow-dow! #

0:20:510:20:54

So, I bet you get some strange requests.

0:20:540:20:57

It's hard to keep a straight face sometimes.

0:20:570:20:59

What's the maddest thing you've tattooed on someone?

0:20:590:21:02

-This one fellow wanted a tattoo of Ant and Dec on his bum.

-No way!

0:21:020:21:08

THEY LAUGH

0:21:090:21:12

What a numpty!

0:21:140:21:16

I couldn't remember which one went on the left or the right.

0:21:160:21:19

Some people are weird.

0:21:190:21:22

Hey, guys - you're back! Did you have a good migration?

0:21:240:21:27

THEY SIGH AND TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:21:270:21:29

Absolute shambles...

0:21:290:21:31

Obviously picked up by some lowlife parrot...

0:21:310:21:34

So we had no idea where we were going...

0:21:340:21:37

-"I'm sorry, sir - I don't speak neo-Polynesian."

-Thank you, Iceland. Stopped by the volcanic ash...

0:21:370:21:42

-Ended up costing us for a fortune.

-And not one shred of evidence...

0:21:420:21:46

Act of God, they say, which I'd say is ironic.

0:21:460:21:49

-Well, that's the wrong use of ironic.

-Then, we came back to this letter from the council...

0:21:490:21:53

I wonder if they'd notice if I flew off backwards?

0:21:530:21:57

-None of that came up in the survey.

-Insurance null and void.

0:21:570:22:00

Need another holiday to get over the stress.

0:22:000:22:02

MASTERMIND THEME TUNE

0:22:020:22:06

Next, we have Gordon Croaker from Lilypad Downs.

0:22:090:22:12

Gordon, your one-minute general-knowledge round starts now.

0:22:120:22:17

The dish mainly consisting of melted cheese

0:22:170:22:19

on bread is known as Welsh...?

0:22:190:22:21

-Rarebit.

-Correct.

0:22:210:22:23

If you see a £5 note on the street, you should...?

0:22:230:22:26

Grab it.

0:22:260:22:27

How should you dispose of an important financial document?

0:22:270:22:30

-Shred it.

-Correct.

0:22:300:22:31

The two most widely used types of bank card are credit and...?

0:22:310:22:35

Debit.

0:22:350:22:36

In literature, the character Bilbo Baggins belongs to which race?

0:22:360:22:40

Hobbit.

0:22:400:22:42

What sport is played at Hogwarts in the Harry Potter series?

0:22:420:22:45

Quidditch.

0:22:450:22:47

-Which Manchester United defender also plays for Serbia?

-Vidic.

0:22:470:22:51

Which town in Worcestershire lies approximately 15 miles south of Birmingham?

0:22:510:22:55

Redditch.

0:22:550:22:56

The cartoon character Popeye...

0:22:560:22:58

-Spinach.

-Correct.

0:22:580:22:59

-Which city...?

-BEEPING

0:22:590:23:01

I've started so I'll...

0:23:010:23:02

-Finish.

-Don't push it.

0:23:020:23:04

Karen! Karen! It's only a Lancaster bomber, love!

0:23:040:23:08

Oh, pride of the fleet! Oh, the rivet work is a joy to behold.

0:23:080:23:13

When he said he was going to show me the Great Plains,

0:23:130:23:16

this isn't what I had in mind.

0:23:160:23:19

You are ruining this holiday for me, love.

0:23:190:23:22

MUSIC: "Feel So Good" by Barry White

0:23:220:23:26

# Feels so good

0:23:270:23:29

# You lying here next to me... #

0:23:310:23:34

HE SCATS TO INSTRUMENTAL SECTION OF "AFRICA"

0:23:370:23:40

# Hurry, boys It's waiting there for you! #

0:23:520:23:56

GENTLE CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:24:000:24:04

It's telly for toffs.

0:24:040:24:07

'Ladies and gentlemen, can you please take your seats?

0:24:080:24:12

'Tonight's performance will start in four seconds.'

0:24:120:24:14

-Excuse me, excuse me.

-Shh!

-Excuse me.

0:24:140:24:18

POLITE APPLAUSE

0:24:180:24:21

Ooh, these are good seats.

0:24:230:24:25

Oh, the ballet. It's been too long.

0:24:250:24:28

MUSIC FROM SWAN LAKE

0:24:280:24:31

Ah! Oof!

0:24:310:24:33

-Uh!

-Ugh!

0:24:330:24:35

GRUNTING

0:24:350:24:37

Next time, I'm bringing my own ice cream.

0:24:370:24:40

4.60 for three scoops? Someone's having a laugh.

0:24:400:24:44

Oh! A tragedy.

0:24:490:24:51

Such a beautiful love story.

0:24:510:24:53

4.60? Three scoops?

0:24:530:24:57

Oof!

0:24:590:25:01

APPLAUSE

0:25:010:25:03

-Bravo!

-Bravo!

0:25:030:25:05

Haunting. Brings a tear to my eye.

0:25:070:25:11

4.60?

0:25:110:25:13

Hot today.

0:25:150:25:17

Oh, I've blown a gasket!

0:25:170:25:20

I'm overheating.

0:25:200:25:21

Oh, there goes another one.

0:25:210:25:23

And another one! I am a write-off!

0:25:230:25:27

SNORING

0:25:280:25:31

PAAAAARP!

0:25:410:25:44

Oop!

0:25:440:25:46

Think I got away with that.

0:25:460:25:48

Explosion! Coming to the nation - strictly hard music!

0:25:510:25:58

DUB MUSIC PLAYS

0:25:590:26:02

Right, I'm home - where are my keys? I thought they were in me handbag.

0:26:130:26:17

Where's me handbag?

0:26:170:26:18

Oh, no - I've left it in the karaoke bar. Bill's going to go crackers.

0:26:190:26:23

This happened the last time I went out with the girls.

0:26:230:26:26

I'm going to have to get him up.

0:26:260:26:28

(Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!)

0:26:280:26:31

-Hey, can you keep it down out there?

-Oh, heavens.

0:26:310:26:34

-The kids are sleeping up here!

-Sorry. Sorry. Just one more try.

0:26:340:26:38

(Bill! Bill! Bill!)

0:26:380:26:41

Bill, man! BILL! BILL!

0:26:410:26:44

Right, that's it! I'm calling the police.

0:26:440:26:47

-The real police, or the monkey police?

-Monkey police.

0:26:470:26:50

Oh, that's all right - they're hilarious.

0:26:500:26:52

Hey, big man. A wee fly like me taking liberties in your head!

0:26:520:26:57

Leave it out, will you, man?

0:26:570:26:59

-What you going to do about it, ya big handbag?

-Just leave it.

0:26:590:27:03

-We dinnae want any trouble.

-Trouble? I'm not even a wasp.

0:27:030:27:06

-I can't even sting ye.

-Don't give him the satisfaction, Dougie.

0:27:060:27:10

-All right then, we're leaving.

-That's right, swim off to your mammy.

0:27:100:27:15

Coming up later on Wild Side 4, the inspiring story of Susan Gibbs,

0:27:160:27:21

the bird whose back was a synthesiser.

0:27:210:27:24

SYNTHESISER VERSION OF "POKER FACE" BY LADY GAGA

0:27:250:27:31

Susan has used her rare condition to bring joy to others, allowing

0:27:400:27:43

her keyboard back to be used by local musicians - free of charge.

0:27:430:27:50

Yeah! Yeah, yeah! This is awesome!

0:27:500:27:54

Let's dance! Yeah! I love festivals!

0:27:540:27:58

You know the first band's not on for half an hour?

0:27:580:28:01

Whatever! I've had two pints of cider! I'm king of the world!

0:28:010:28:06

Oh, I think I just twisted something.

0:28:060:28:08

Oh, brilliant, an injury - I'm so hardcore!

0:28:080:28:11

Be lucky!

0:28:140:28:15

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0:28:310:28:33

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