Episode 8 World's Craziest Fools

The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.

Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,

you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.

Last year, Mr T went on a mission.

He scoured the globe to find the world's craziest fools.

Those people with a lack of common sense,

a terrifying disregard for health and safety,

and whose favourite question is, "What's the worst that can happen?"

And you loved it.

But now you want more and you want them crazier

and even more foolish, so once again Mr T has delivered

an array of the world's least talented people.

This is the World's Craziest Fools - Return Of The Fools.

You're watching the World's Craziest Fools, with me, Mr T.

Before I start, I'd like to introduce you to a few people

who help make this show possible.

Behind the camera, there's Mr T.

On sound, it's Mr T.

On the autocue, it's Mr T.

And looking after the props, it's Alan.

We've got some great stuff for you today.

Fools head-butting fruit, fools wrestling buckets,

fools going crazy on forklifts, so sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

Alan, pack your stuff. You're fired!

When I'm acting, I do my own stunts.

If the director wants me to jump off a cliff, I jump off a cliff.

If he wants me to wrestle a tiger, I wrestle a tiger.

But if he wants me to look like a fool,

that's when I get these guys in.

These guys are pros.

This kid wants to be the first person to sit in a bucket,

go over a ramp and jump across a stream.

If you're gonna have a stupid ambition,

make sure it's one you can achieve.

It looks like this kid doesn't know what chairs are for.

For future reference,

they are for sitting on and for breaking over bad guys' backs.

Next time, use them properly.

Even fools have to have their dreams.

Unfortunately, these guys' dreams is like one of those weird dreams

after you've eaten too much cheese.

I like cheese.

Where do these stairs go?

That's right, sucker. Straight up to Painsville.

It ain't no fun in Painsville.

This guy's trying to jump into that tree.

Oh!

Don't worry, he's OK. The ground broke his fall.

The arrangement of furniture in this room is all wrong.

There's some bad feng shui.

When you get some bad feng shui, nasty stuff happens.

I rest my case.

This chump's trying to do a jump with his motorcycle.

Now he's got two motorcycles.

You'd think he would look happier about it.

This guy knows the secret of being a stuntman is perfect timing.

Time to get a new career, sucker!

The Sasquatch! musical festival in Washington, USA.

Keep your eye on the guy trying to smash a watermelon with his head.

You can't miss him.

He's the guy trying to smash a watermelon with his head.

For some reason, he looks pleased with his achievement today.

I'd hate to see what his other days are like.

Russia. This guy thinks he's Tarzan.

It wouldn't surprise me if he could communicate with animals.

That's about his level.

Coming up now, more fools.

This should not be a surprise to you.

MUSIC: "Off That" by Jay-Z

DOG BARKS

DOG BARKS

I'm tired of looking at fools.

Let's listen to a fool instead.

PHONE GOES DEAD

Hey, what are you looking at? Look at this instead.

These two Lithuanian women are trying to cross the road.

Some ladies stop traffic with their beauty - others use stupidity.

Both work equally well.

This Slovakian reporter thinks the best place to do a broadcast

is right by the side of the road.

News just in - you suck at making decisions!

In the Ukraine, catching a bus is a lot harder than here in the UK,

especially if it's not a bus.

Jeep versus hill is a fun game until the hill starts winning.

When the hill starts winning, get out of that jeep!

This guy's life is about to flash before his eyes.

His life looks like another motorbike.

Another race now. Check out the steward in the yellow jacket.

He's about to get hit when a tree throws itself in the way.

Give that tree a medal! Then chop it down.

An icy hill in Romania and these sledging fools are out of control.

Luckily for them, they go straight through the gate and not the wall.

Gates are weak but walls, they are strong and they are nasty.

Russia, and this van is driving along minding its own business

when it nearly hits a dumb pedestrian.

If you don't see a big orange van coming,

maybe you should start opening your eyes when you cross the road!

In America, we drive on the right because it's right.

This is what happens when you drive on the left.

A lot of people are getting lucky today.

I guess it must be their lucky day.

Back in the '80s, I invented something called dancing.

It's been good for me financially.

Every time someone dances they have to send me a penny in the post.

In spite of the millions I've made, I sometimes regret my invention.

Watch this.

This guy thinks he's good at getting down.

He is. Look at him, all the way down there.

These drunk fools are dancing around having a good time.

Any minute now they are gonna get overexcited and hurt themselves.

It's like I'm a psychic.

If you want me to predict anything for you,

call me up and we will negotiate a fee.

Look at these Turkish guys,

they must be pretty good at screwing up because thousands of people

here have come to see them, and it can't be for their music.

Mexico, and this is the town idiot.

Once a year, they put him on stage and make him

dance around until he does something stupid.

They don't have to wait too long.

Check out this Romeo.

He tries to bump and grind with the lady and bumps

and grinds her right off the table, then he laughs about it.

That's why he goes home alone.

Next up, we are heading to a school where this physics teacher

is rapping in front of his class.

He just taught them a great lesson about gravity.

I can't wait to see what the biology teacher's got lined up.

Estonia land. I guess there's a good reason why

they put this guy up in a tree in the first place.

It's a shame he managed to find his way back down.

This is what we call Spring Break in America.

Specifically, the break was in his arms and his legs.

This is what they call break dancing in Canada.

Specifically, the break was in his nose and his face.

Over to Austria. This guy's a great dancer.

It's a shame he's a postman because he's not a very good postman.

Maybe he needs to rethink his career.

A daytime party in Poland

and somebody let a loony loose to liven things up a little.

It's worked - everyone's having a great time.

They should enjoy themselves

while it lasts, cos he's gotta get back to the asylum by sundown.

And now a word from our sponsors.

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jumping off your roof or your money back.

Oh my God!

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Remember, your legs are at risk if you get drunk,

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T-industries, making it all better since the 1980s.

If you are easily shocked, you might not want to watch the next

part of this show.

In fact, if you are easily shocked, you probably switched over

a long time ago, so I'm guessing it's safe to proceed.

Take a look at this.

Don't worry, he's OK.

Oh, shit!

Time now for the ten o'clock news.

If it's not ten o'clock where you are watching this,

pretend it's ten o'clock.

The following is a true story.

A 42-year-old carpenter from Vancouver decided to

follow his dreams and become a stuntman.

He concluded the best way to achieve this was with a live audition

at the Vancouver Film Festival.

His plan was to bungee jump from the Lions Gate Bridge

during the festival and then descend onto the deck

of a passing cruise ship with the eyes of the film world watching.

For two years, he checked tide charts and boat schedules,

he lined up sponsors and recruited assistants.

On the big day, when everything was ready,

he majestically swan-dived from the bridge as planned.

He only realised his bungee cord was a little too long

when he majestically crashed onto the deck of the boat.

As it sailed away, he was dragged along the entire length

of the boat, over the stern railing and into the water beneath.

His film career failed to take off, but police got their people

to see his people almost immediately.

How would you like to see some clips of people falling off stuff?

I tell you what, if you don't want to see some clips of people

falling off stuff, call me now.

Good, that's what I thought.

This fool's so ashamed of himself, he's wearing a disguise

so nobody will recognise him, but I can still recognise him though.

I would know those dumb moves and that stupid brain anywhere.

This kid's gathered all his friends around so they can watch him

make a chump out of himself.

He's put on a good show, I'll give him that.

This chump is seeing what it's like to eat a table.

You missed everything!

It's hard and it's wooden and it's got a nasty aftertaste.

Next time, stick to bananas.

You missed everything!

This guy thinks he's pretty cool, dancing around on top of a bin.

He's cooler now than he was ten seconds ago.

That's what falling in the snow does for you.

Warning - this clip does not have a happy ending...

Unless you are watching it backwards,

in which case, it's an uplifting tale about a boy learning to fly.

Let's watch all the clips backwards -

they'll be much better that way.

This fool's friend just bet him

ten bucks he couldn't do a front flip down the side of a cliff,

bounce off his face and roll down into the water like a rag doll.

Cough up, sucker.

This guy never wanted to parachute for a living -

he wanted to be on the stage.

Oh, shit!

Now there's two jobs he can't do.

Oh, God! Oh!

Time for school. You are late. Don't let it happen again.

Hello, and welcome to Mr T's School for Fools.

I'm your teacher, Mr T,

and today, I'm gonna be teaching you all about physics.

What is physics?

Physics is a natural science that involves the study of matter

and its motion through space and time

and its related concept of energy and force.

Or put it another way, physics is when you fall over

and land on your butt, like this.

Aargh!

Aargh! Aargh!

You got it? Good.

Watch out for physics next time you're walking along the street.

Class dismissed.

Next up - some people think it's their job to drop stuff,

mess up and screw about.

But what do I know? I haven't seen their contracts.

First up, Turkey, where these two fools are trying to load up

a van with 500 kilos of chocolate.

I'm guessing this is a family business.

It'd be hard to find two such stupid people who weren't related.

This guy's working hard so he'll get a big tip.

And there it is. Keep the change, sucker.

The United Kingdom of Great Britain.

If these jerks are the future of your building industry,

then your building industry does not have a future.

Portugal. This guy's checking out the roof.

The roof's fine. What about the floor?

The floor's also fine. The building is ready.

There are lots of different ways of getting noticed at work.

Driving through your boss with a forklift is one of them.

"Can I get a pay raise?"

"No, but you can get my boot up your butt."

This crane driver is cleaning up the rubble outside this house.

He loves his job so much, he just made a whole new pile of rubble.

Just what I like to see - a bit of enthusiasm in the workplace.

There are two ways to unload bottles from the back of a lorry.

The slow, safe and careful way, and the other way.

The other way is quicker and more fun!

This courier is so eager to keep to his schedule,

he can't wait to get back to his van.

I guess he just doesn't have a head for the job.

This forklift driver is learning the basics for the job.

Rule one - don't do that.

Rule two - get the heck out of my yard.

Rule three - if I ever see your face around here again,

I will introduce it to the wrong side of a shovel. The end.

Now, who's the bigger fool,

the fool or the fool who's following the fool?

Or the fool who attaches himself to the end of a JCB

and gets another fool to spin him around?

LAUGHTER

Or the fool filming and laughing?

Basically, there's an awful lot of fools out there.

Don't get involved.

I'm standing here and the music's playing,

so I'm guessing it's the end of the show.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Before you go off and do whatever you do next,

I wanna leave you with my final thought -

a person who never makes mistakes never makes anything.

See you next week. So long, suckers.

# I pity the fool

# Whoa I pity the fool

# Yeah, I pity the fool

# Say I pity the fool... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd