Episode 2 Holiday Hit Squad

Well, it's that time of year again when millions of us

are flicking through the brochures

and deciding where we're going to spend our well-earned holiday break.

We all put our trust and our hard-earned cash in the hands

of the holiday industry, hoping it delivers on its promise.

But as many of us know to our cost,

dream breaks can turn into nightmares.

The last memory I've had, everyone is smiling, happy...

The next thing is I've woke up in hospital.

-My girlfriend's had her purse stolen, £500 holiday money.

-No?!

'So, from uncovering the bad...' Oh, that really turns the stomach.

'To highlighting the good...' A great view doesn't cost a penny.

The Holiday Hit Squad is back, and we're more determined than ever

to ensure that holiday blues don't mess up your well-earned break.

Coming up on today's programme, I investigate how a trip

to a water park can end in a smash as well as a splash.

I was in that much agony I knew I'd broke it,

because it was completely twisted round in the opposite direction.

I go toe-to-toe in a battle with Joe to find

the best seaside holiday home...

THIS is a classic British holiday treat.

..or away.

Every time you go round another headland,

you find another paradise beach.

But first, I'm checking into a hotel that's been driving Brits barmy.

MUSIC: "Summer Holiday" by Cliff Richard and the Shadows

It's an all too familiar story -

we scrimp and save all year so we can have our precious break in paradise,

but the moment we check into our digs,

we realise instead of hotel happiness...

PSYCHO SHOWER SCENE MUSIC

..we've unwittingly booked motel misery.

That's why, this year, I'm back on the road,

so I can pull back the covers...

Eugh!

'..and lift the lid...'

Oh, my God. That is grim, isn't it?

'..on some of the hotels that have

'been winding British guests right up.'

-I'm guessing you won't be coming back.

-Not me, definitely!

-Would you stay here again?

-No.

And today, I'm in one of our favourite holiday destinations.

Turkey - bathed in warm sunshine, beautiful, historic AND inexpensive.

Who could ask for anything more?

In fact, Turkish resorts now rival Spain's as the top destinations

for Brits taking package holidays.

Now with all that good, you'd expect a bit of bad.

But at one hotel in Bodrum, you've been telling us

that things have been getting ugly.

MUSIC: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Theme" by Ennio Morricone

It's the worst hotel,

the dirtiest hotel I've ever stayed in my whole entire life.

It was a complete disaster.

I would never, ever go back.

And you've been posting warnings about the 162-room L'Ambiance

on web review sites.

How disgusting is that?

Calling it filthy, dangerously run-down

and complaining of terrible food.

These guests even resorted to buying their own cleaning products.

My girlfriend, on holiday, is having to scrub the shower.

Not really what we came away for.

So can it really be as bad as people say?

The management claim not, but, frustrated by the reviews,

they've invited us in to help them spot what's got guests' goats.

-Thank you, Joe Crowley, checking in.

-OK.

In high season, rooms here are about £75 a night full board.

I've got to say, in the dark it looks absolutely beautiful.

Hmm, perhaps I should have kept the lights off.

Right, time for bed, and I just had a proper look round the room.

The bed linen, I mean, look at this, this is just really worn out.

And I don't think the cleaning's been very good, just look down here.

Used tissue, that's nice(!)

Very grim, that hasn't been cleaned in a long time.

In fact, I'll show you this I've just seen by the front door!

Look at this for a strand of hair.

LAUGHING: It's absolutely huge.

Shouldn't really touch it, but I am.

GRIM.

Apparently, cleanliness here - at least in my room -

is going down the pan.

And the next morning, as I venture out by the pool -

or should I say "pond" - it's clear I'm not the only disappointed guest.

I think we have a gaggle of British holiday-makers up here,

so I'm going to go and say hello.

-How you doing?

-Fine.

-Not too bad, the weather's nice.

-The weather is good.

-Yeah.

-What about everything else?

-It's the pits. Absolute pits.

That's putting it very mildly.

-Have you been in the pool yet?

-You're joking?

# Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart... #

And they're not alone.

-I mean, it's the first holiday I've had in two years.

-Really?

Yeah, and we booked it in March,

really, really looking forward to it, and then I turn up here.

What would you say to people looking at coming to this hotel?

-Don't bother.

-No, don't come.

These guests aren't expecting the Ritz, but this is bang out of order.

-What do you think needs fixing most?

-Have you got a bulldozer?

Oh, dear.

Well, I don't have a bulldozer, but I do have the next best thing.

Dr Lisa Ackerly is an environmental health inspector

who lets nothing stand in her way.

-Eugh!

-Look how dirty this... Oh, my God! What have we got here?

Really horrible, that's a bogey.

MUSIC: "Boogie Nights" by Heatwave

And Lisa has a sniff of another problem in the public loos.

Ohhhh, my God!

-We have an overpowering smell, that can't be good.

-Awful, isn't it?

-It is so strong.

-You can almost not breathe.

What on earth do you think goes on behind the scenes

if this is the public face of the hotel?

In fact, the public areas here are a major worry,

particularly that cloudy emerald pool.

My terror is that a child could fall in and not be seen.

So, with the aid of some weights and a toddler-sized backpack,

it's time to do an experiment.

-BOTH: Oh, my goodness.

-It fills me with horror.

-That's grim.

-Terrible.

-Really is very serious.

Last year, at least three British toddlers drowned in pools

while on holiday.

Supervising under eights by the pool is crucial, but if a child toppled

in here, they could end up on the bottom without anyone even knowing.

And it's so far down you can't even see the shape of it.

No, and that really is dangerous.

'Later, the paths are the pits...'

A child sort of skipping along - bounce, straight through.

'..and there's contamination in the kitchen.'

Everything's really dirty.

You know, you may not always be aware of them

while you're enjoying the attractions of your

holiday destination, but at most resorts,

tucked away in the background,

there's a whole army of dedicated professionals on stand-by to pick up

the pieces and sort our problems IF something should go terribly wrong.

And I've got a backstage pass

so I can find out exactly what happens if,

among other things, you are one of the quarter of a million Brits plus

every year that need medical help...

Four breaks? You made a proper job of it, didn't you?

Yeah, I like to do a good job.

...the 19,000 that call on the aid of the British Consul...

Their passport was stolen and they're travelling tonight,

so I need to get this done pretty quickly.

..or the estimated one in ten that end up victims of crime.

When did you notice your wallet was gone?

Must have been about 5 o'clock.

Today I'm in one of the all-time favourite destinations

for British holiday-makers.

Benidorm on Spain's Costa Blanca is a magnet for more than

a million-and-a-half British tourists every year,

and inevitably, some end up coming a cropper.

In which case they are more than likely to be taken to

one of the biggest hospitals in the region, the Hospital Levante,

where there's a whole team of professionals just waiting

to sort them out.

Every day there's a steady stream of Brits admitted for

all manner of maladies.

-How are you feeling?

-Mmm...itchy.

-You're feeling itchy?

I've got an abscess on the tonsils.

Fallen over and fallen on the hip.

What a rotten way to end your holiday!

I have fractured a bone in my foot.

So I haven't been on the scooter since cos I can't get my leg over.

Image conscious Victoria Carr has rushed in because,

out of the blue, her face has dramatically swollen up.

-Oh, my gosh, what's happened to you?

-I don't know.

-When did you notice?

Me son noticed it. Just noticed a lump on me face,

and then I woke up the next morning with...

-how it is now.

-This is not how you want to spend your holiday.

Not really. I don't know what's caused it.

Oh, that is just so awful,

because any woman is so conscious of what she looks like,

and poor Victoria, as she just said to me,

"My face is like a pudding" - and it is.

The doctors believe Victoria has had an allergic reaction, but this

needlephobe doesn't much fancy the cure - a syringe of hydrocortisone.

-I just don't like needles.

-All right, give me your hands.

-What's your son called?

-Jordan.

-How old is Jordan?

-13.

-What's Jordan doing today?

-He's, erm, he's still in bed.

Still in bed?

There you are, it's all over and you didn't even know it, did you?

The doctors say they're unlikely to be able to identify the cause,

so it's down to Victoria and me to do some detective work.

See if we can do a bit of a check list.

-Sun cream, did you put sun cream on?

-No.

-Bitten by something?

-I don't think so.

-When did you have the braids done?

-I got half of it done on the Tuesday night.

-And when did this start?

-Wednesday afternoon.

-What products did they put in your hair?

-Wax. I was scratching my head.

-You were scratching your head?

-Hmm.

Ah.

Braiding is a popular holiday treat,

but do be aware that the dermatological society have

warned that if they're done too tightly,

they can result in follicle damage, causing hair loss.

And having any product that you're not used to put on your hair or skin

always brings the risk of an allergic reaction.

'Victoria feels the braids are too tight,

'but she can't be sure that they are the cause of her discomfort.'

Easier if I knew what it was.

-It would, cos you wouldn't do it again, would you?

-No.

'Fortunately, a second injection seems to be doing the trick.'

-Feels like it's gone down a bit.

-Do you want to have a look?

-What's the verdict?

-Me eye's better.

-Yeah?

Your eye is much wider than it was when you came in.

When you came in it really looked as if

you'd gone 15 rounds with Mike Tyson.

-I know.

-Hopefully it will go on getting better.

-Enjoy the rest of your holiday anyway.

-Thank you.

Thanks a lot, Victoria. Bye now.

Hi there. I've just...

One family whose holiday fun has come to an abrupt stop

are the Colliers from Scotland.

We went to the water park, we went down a face-first water ride,

and unfortunately, yes, my face went into the back of his head.

When you turn round you just see this waterfall of blood

going down the side of the face, and then him crying,

and I came down last, and all I heard was, "Ow!", and I turn round

and it's like, "Oh, my face!" and he's like "Ahhh!"

So Aiden got three stitches in the back of his head...

And you've got a black eye?

-Yes, so I got nine stitches, two internal, seven external.

-Crikey!

And we had to come here in an ambulance!

Not only has it scuppered the family's break,

but Karen is also supposed to be looking her best,

as she's due to be a bridesmaid soon after she gets home.

Oh, that looks painful. Gosh, you can see the full extent of it now.

It's a doozy!

I think if the swelling goes down, make-up should hopefully hide it.

Otherwise, just take the photos from that side.

The other thing is, you'll have to get an eye patch

-with some flowers on it.

-Oh, don't make me laugh.

-Oh, sorry!

The Colliers are not the only ones to be wiped out at a water park.

My daughter asked her to go paddling with her.

-DAUGHTER LAUGHS

-It's your fault then, is it?

We were in the wave pool, about six inches of water, I slipped,

and I think I sat on my ankle.

-Ooh! Broke it?

-Three bones.

-Three bones?

-Yes.

ANGELA GASPS

Yeah, I'll stick to dry land, I think.

And down the hall, another water park casualty has limped in.

So, Mark, what's going on here?

-She was on the rapids.

-In the water park?

Came down the rapids and went into the wall.

-Hit the knee.

-So, do you know what you've done?

I've banged me knee, it's very, very sore at the moment.

I'm off to X-ray.

It's got to be X-ray, cos you don't know if you've broken it...

MUSIC: "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen

That's three different sets of patients that I've seen today

that have ended up in hospital after visiting water parks,

and later, I'll investigate how you might not always

be as safe as you might imagine when you take to the slides.

But first, Helen has some handy holiday hints.

Each week on Holiday Hit Squad I'll be tackling

some of the Great British holiday-maker's most common

consumer questions, from how to avoid

being clobbered by unexpected costs...

You could end up paying £200 just to have your luggage with you.

..to making the most of your money.

Having ready cash abroad is essential

if you want to have a trouble-free holiday.

And this week, a product we use 15 million bottles of a year.

How much sun cream do you bring for your two weeks in the sun?

Seven bottles. 50, 30, 15, ten...two.

But do any of us really know what factor sun cream

we should be wearing?

Do you guys know what the minimum recommended factor is to wear?

-50.

-50?

-20.

-25.

-15.

-30.

So not much consensus there.

The minimum sun protection factor recommended by the NHS is factor 15.

You can, of course, get factors that are much higher, including 50.

You'd imagine that 50 protects you from a lot more sun

than 30 or 15, but does it?

Factor 50 should block 98% of the sun's rays,

but surprisingly, factor 15 only blocks 5% less.

And studies have found that some people find the labelling

so confusing, they end up being more burned using higher factors

because they mistakenly believe they're

fully protected by factor alone,

when often we simply don't use enough of the stuff.

Put your hand out.

Right, the recommended amount of sun cream for one application

is six teaspoons.

So that's two, three...

-four...

-Whoa!

..five....

-six.

-That's to do your whole body?

-Yeah, for an adult, your whole body for one go.

-That is a lot.

Yeah, that's more than we use.

'Surveys have shown that most of us

'use less than half of the recommended amount.'

This has turned into something else, hasn't it?

Don't miss out on free sampling!

And what else should you know to help keep you safe in the sun?

Well, here goes.

All sun screen has an expiry date, so check your bottle.

If it's past its best, it may not be protecting you effectively.

Regularly reapply and cream up whatever the weather.

Even on cloudy days,

up to 80% of the sun's harmful rays can penetrate your skin.

And be aware of the sand, sea and snow effect.

All of them reflect the sun and increase your risk of burning.

Now sometimes, in spite of your best-laid plans,

a dream holiday can turn into an absolute nightmare,

so every week I'm going to be investigating some

of the potential pitfalls that lie in wait for British holiday-makers.

From the life-shattering...

I went to the toilet, had a look in the mirror,

"Dad, where's my head gone?!"

..to the terrifying.

The vehicle turned over.

I thought, frankly, that one of the lions would come

and pull somebody out.

I'll discover that you're not always as safe as you may think.

Today, how splashing out on a trip to a water park could

end you up in A&E.

The first official water park was opened in Florida

in the late seventies.

And since then they've become hugely popular with families on holiday.

And rightly so, kids and parents alike

just love the thrills and spills.

But don't be fooled into thinking that water rides are

totally risk-free.

It's estimated that each year, in Europe alone,

a staggering 40,000 injuries occur on or around water slides.

And sometimes, these injuries can be tragic.

Now, I want you to picture the scene.

You decide that you're going to take your family on holiday

to Turkey, where the big attraction is the water park in the hotel.

First morning out, you go down the water slide,

but you have an accident that shatters your leg and your life.

Des Jarvis and his girlfriend Nikki took their kids to the

Didim Beach Resort in Altinkum.

It was their annual summer holiday,

and all were looking forward to relaxing and having fun in the sun.

But on their first morning, disaster struck.

Did you have any instruction at all as to what you were supposed to do?

We looked at the instructions, cos you do on all the slides,

-and it said, "Lie down feet first, hands behind your head."

-Like this?

Yeah, that's how I come down.

I came flying into the water, smashed into the wall,

and I knew straightaway, I was in that much agony I knew I'd broke it,

because it was completely twisted round the opposite direction.

'Des had come down the slide exactly as the signs had directed.

'But the pool at the bottom failed to slow him down.

'Nikki ran to get help from staff behind a bar,

'and Des was taken to hospital in agony.'

Oh, crikey, look at that!

And after the X-rays the doctor said to me, "You've broke

"it in about eight places, we're going to have to operate."

After surgery, Des hobbled back to the slides to get video

evidence with Nikki, and they were horrified to see that

other holiday-makers remained at risk

of duplicating his own awful accident.

Oh, blimey!

So he's landed about three foot from the wall.

-There's no run-off, is there?

-No.

-No run-off at all.

In the year since his accident, Des has had four operations,

but the torment is far from over.

The doctor I spoke to last week said he would recommend

I have it amputated now, to save a lot of time and a lot of pain.

-How do you feel about that?

-Devastated.

I can't accept it at the minute.

It's something that we've not come to terms with.

'Now the wild rides

'and wet surfaces of water parks of course do come with

'inherent risks of bumps and bruises,

'but surely Des's catastrophic accident was avoidable.'

Later, I get an expert's opinion on the slides in question...

If people go down headfirst, you're looking at possibly a fatality.

..and find out that Des is not unique.

The pain just shot right through me.

Here on Holiday Hit Squad we dig the dirt, certainly,

and we also investigate holiday mishaps,

but we'd also like to give you a few, well, holiday hits.

So, over the course of the series I've asked Helen and Joe

to find some really great holiday destinations,

not just abroad, but also at home,

where a stonking 41 million of us take a break every year.

But can Britain really compete with the rest of the world?

I've sent Helen and Joe to find out.

From foodie breaks...

-Root vegetables, rabbit you skinned.

-It's actually really good, isn't it?

..to thrill-seeking adventures...

So cool, SO cool.

..they're going head-to-head in a battle of vacation...

-..versus staycation.

-Stunning.

Tonight, a family beach holiday.

I've given the dynamic duo a budget of two grand -

which is the average Brits spend on our main summer breaks -

to create a package for a family of at least four.

This week, I'll be fighting for foreign,

and with a whole wide world to choose from, where did I pick?

Cirali, here in Turkey, surely the perfect family beach holiday.

I, however, will be defending the home front, and with

Great British bulldog spirit, I promise I won't be giving up easily.

I'm putting my faith in beautiful Aldeburgh

and the surrounding Suffolk seaside.

This part of East Anglia is picture postcard perfect.

In summer, it's quintessentially English.

# Rule Britannia Britannia, you are cool

# Take a trip

# Britons ever, ever, ever shall be hip... #

The east of England is one of the driest parts of the country,

so it's a good bet for a bit of British sun, but we all know

that a family beach holiday isn't really about sunbathing.

Come on, crabs. Ooh, yes!

Yeah. Ohhh!

That was my fault. Sorry, Daisy.

'So how's this for brilliant bargain family entertainment?'

Who's the best at catching crabs then out of your mum,

your dad, you and your little sister?

-I don't know!

-Must be me, Daisy, must be me.

This is a prime crabbing spot.

A pastime that I guarantee will keep the young

and young at heart absorbed for hours.

It costs pennies.

-We've got a huge one!

-That is a big one.

Woo! It's really simple, really classic good fun.

Spectacular foreign scenery is one thing,

but you can keep all your Grand Canyons, live volcanoes

and virgin rain forests - believe me, it's simple fun like this

that a family like this will remember for ever.

-Some of them are, like, huge.

-Some of them are huge?

-Yeah.

I'm the first to admit that foreign holidays are fab,

but spending your summer breaks somewhere like this means

that you can bring the whole family, because you don't have to get

on a flight, and that's what lasting memories are made of, aren't they?

The time you went here, there and everywhere with

Grandma and Grandad and Auntie Yvonne and Uncle Bill?

They're the ones I remember.

That's all well and good, Helen - when the weather holds.

But I've got plenty of family memories of us huddled

in a cold, wet tent as the rain pours down,

and I think we all deserve more.

That's why I think Turkey and Cirali in particular are perfect.

It's got pretty much guaranteed sunshine,

warm, crystal clear Mediterranean waters

and loads to keep the kids happy.

But don't take my word for it, just ask the Morgan family,

back to Cirali for their second year because they love it so much.

So when you announced, "We're going again",

what was the reaction like in the house?

Bags were packed three weeks before we left.

JOE LAUGHS

And the right flights from the UK cost just over a grand for four,

which doesn't leave me much for accommodation, but I've come up

with a fab and fun self-catering option which will do a treat.

When families come here, they can stay in these bungalows,

they are absolutely perfect.

They can look out on this courtyard, and perhaps most importantly,

they look out on this epic view,

these towering cliff faces right above them.

It is absolutely stunning, there's no other word for it.

And you certainly don't get that in Suffolk.

"Hi, Helen, with a view like this, hope you're enjoying FLAT Suffolk."

Wow, that is pretty nice. But it's only a mountain.

Yes, Suffolk is flat, but have a look at this.

It's everything that we love about the Great British seaside.

There are loads of places to stay, from campsites to B&Bs,

or if you want to hang out with your extended family -

which is one of the joys of a British holiday -

you could splash out on a large apartment like this.

Sleeps six, is a grand for the week, and that's less than £25 each a day.

One of the things that seasoned travellers always say is,

"Eat where the locals eat", because that is a great reference.

And two people who live in Aldeburgh have already said to me today,

"You've got to try the fish and chip shop."

I've come round the corner, and I can smell fish and chips.

I'm reliably informed this place has been drawing families for decades.

Is this a joke? I think this is the queue already!

-Is this the queue for the fish and chip shop?

-Yes, it is, yes.

-It'll open soon.

-They're not even open yet?

Right, you want a chip? No good just going on my taste buds. Dive in.

What do you reckon, guys, good?

It's unanimous - they are good fish and chips. See ya!

How do you beat this?

Fish and chips by the seaside, it takes you back to your childhood.

It tastes great, it smells great,

and I don't want to make you jealous, Joe, much...

Ha! Well, OK, Helen, I see your fish and chips,

and I'll raise you an experience the Morgan family have told me

is straight out of an Indiana Jones movie.

We're time travelling, heading back to ancient cities and ports.

This is just so beautiful, it seems every time you go round another

headland, you find another secret cove and another paradise beach.

Here we are, the ruins.

You can walk into some of these sites straight off the beach,

scramble around all you like and let your imagination run wild.

It's quite rare you get to come this close to anything like this.

Yes, exactly.

And all for less than a couple of quid entrance fee.

That is cheap and impressive, Joe,

but you're going to struggle to match

what I get up to later in the show.

This is pretty unusual.

But anything you can do, Helen, anything you can do...

It's mesmerising, absolutely incredible.

Still to come on Holiday Hit Squad...

The beach surgery is open for business,

as Dr Chris van Tulleken and I

tackle some classic vacation complications.

Ruby had gone to sleep as normal

but then woke up in the middle of the night with excruciating pain.

So I would suggest, when you get back to the UK, go and see your GP.

..Joe and Helen's beach break battle continues.

I've got sand, I've got surf, and it's not THAT cold!

But first, I continue my inspections of that hotel that's been

driving Brits nuts.

L'Ambiance Resort in Bodrum has come in for a

proper pasting from unhappy British guests.

So, environmental health expert Dr Lisa Ackerly

and I checked in to plumb the depths and help them raise their game.

And as we continue our inspection,

we're finding startling signs of neglect.

You could basically just think the step was there, twist over

and then over you go - almost did myself.

-'From faulty fire alarms...'

-"Press button here."

Pressing button, nothing's happening.

'..to a particularly deadly-looking tourist trap.'

-Rusty, what is it, manhole cover?

-It is, yeah.

-It's come away round the edges.

-It's so fragile.

If I was to put my weight on that, I would go straight through.

-Oh, it's certainly full of water.

-Absolutely vile.

-Oh, I can smell it!

-Yep.

-This is really worrying me.

A child sort of skipping along - bounce, straight through.

And there's another more hidden

but equally serious danger that has set our alarm bells ringing.

Guests suspect that food may be being regularly reused.

I only assume, what you don't eat off the hot plate at lunchtime,

with a couple of other dishes, is on for evening meal.

If food is being reheated or recycled without proper safeguards,

there's a real risk of guests falling ill.

The hotel denies it,

but a check of the breakfast buffet doesn't leave Lisa reassured.

So you've got meat and cheese,

-meat does look like it's been left out for quite a while, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

Temperature? 14, 15 degrees, it should be five.

I'm suspicious that this has been out before

because of the way the food has been sort of mauled.

And the hot buffet is an even greater worry.

There's obviously no attempt here to heat the food or keep it hot.

-We're still only getting 32, 33 degrees.

-And what should it be?

63 or above.

So 35's a dangerous temperature, it's encouraging the bacteria,

-saying, "Come on, multiply."

-It's almost perfect for bacteria to grow.

That's what I was hoping you wouldn't say.

'It's evidence enough for me to want to dig deeper.'

'So, later in the day we go rooting around several fridges

'we find in the kitchen, and it goes from bad...'

Do you recognise that from before?

I do, that was our big plate of cheese at breakfast.

Even small quantities of food are being reused.

'..to worse...'

I recognise those tomatoes.

Well, it's possible they're the same ones we saw this morning.

We've got lots of mould and dirt,

and it can drop into these foods here.

'..to downright jaw-dropping.'

Actually been here yonks, I mean, the dirt on that...

It's also sort of rusty,

so you've got potential contamination going in there.

Everything is just grimy and filthy and...

it's uncovered.

'The chef claims the uncovered food is for the staff,

'which frankly shouldn't make any difference,

'but as we watch preparations for the dinner service,

'they seem reluctant to cook in front of us.'

They've only got 20 minutes till dinner time,

they're not going to be ready, are they?

-No, they're not.

-Something doesn't seem right.

-No.

Something very strange is happening, and to be honest,

I'm not quite sure what it is.

It's gone 7:30, in fact, it's about ten to eight,

normally this would be full of food, people would be eating,

but instead everyone's gathered outside

and they're still waiting, and the last time

I checked there wasn't anything being cooked in the kitchen.

So, I don't know what's happening really, I can't explain it,

I can only think that somehow our presence has put them off.

'When the food eventually does come out,

'much later than it's supposed to...'

-Let's see what we've got here.

-Lentil soup.

-We saw that being made.

That's steaming hot.

39 degrees.

So hang on, that's just been put out, and it's 39 degrees?

It's nowhere near hot enough,

and at this stage in the evening it should be 63 or above.

This is actually blood temperature,

and I suspect this is what we saw in the fridge earlier.

We were told this was for the staff.

And here it is, at body heat.

It's pretty clear to me now that out of the dishes there,

two are fresh, the rest are recycled, and even worse,

that recycled food hasn't been warmed up to a safe enough temperature.

So be it cleaning, fire safety, pool water,

maintenance or food hygiene, it's clear the way L'Ambiance

is currently operating is way short of acceptable.

So, while Lisa prepares her detailed report,

I want to hear what manager Hussein has got to say for himself.

Our observations are that things aren't as good as they should be

and much needs to be done to make this hotel clean and safe.

Quite worryingly, I think some food is being recycled, and worse still,

when it's being recycled, it isn't being heated up properly.

-TRANSLATION:

-We have problems with the personnel,

they are not so professional,

they can't really do their jobs right,

but I do take the blame on myself and my assistant managers,

that we should tell these people to be more careful.

'And then, there's that pool.'

I think you need to call in a company to deal with this,

because at the moment it's dangerous, because you can't see the bottom.

I know we have problems,

four or five days ago we indicated a change in the pool's water,

so we brought the experts in and I must admit,

also the misuse of the pool by some of our guests.

'And it's a similar story for the fire alarms,

'apparently the fault of an outside contractor.'

It seems like lots of people are to blame - the fire company hasn't

sorted out the fire safety stuff, the guests have messed up the pool.

The big question is,

for British holiday-makers booking a holiday here, can they trust it?

British tourists are very important for our hotel,

and we may have some problems,

I assure you and I promise you that with all the changes

and improvements that we're going to do before the next season,

everybody from Britain can come and stay in our hotel

and have a nice holiday with total safety.

I have to say, I'm very concerned, I'm hearing a lot of excuses,

so I can't tell you how much I hope, for all the people staying here,

that things improve.

The list of changes needed here is overwhelming,

but there's one thing that I'm determined to get fixed BEFORE I go.

A grizzly poolside problem that's been getting right up

the noses of the sunbathing Brits.

# It's a mess, I tell you... #

-Yeah, that's been there three days apparently.

-Three days?

And they've been round and swept up this morning,

but they've still left that there.

Someone's been a bit ill over there, there's a bit of sick,

-could you ask someone to clean it up?

-OK, I understand.

Quite a lot of people there trying to sunbathe.

Well, better late than never, and just in case you've ever

wondered how many guys it takes to clean up a bit of sick...

the answer apparently, is three.

But of course, I'm not going to leave it there.

Later in the show I'll be returning to the scene of grime to see

if Hussein's kept his promise that Brits can have a pleasant

and totally safe holiday at his hotel.

Earlier in the programme I started looking at how many injuries

occur at holiday water parks,

including the case of Des Jarvis,

who faced the prospect of possibly losing his leg after

an appalling accident on a water slide at a five-star resort.

Of course, accidents do happen,

a staggering 40,000 a year in Europe alone.

But I can't believe that a tragedy as serious as Des'

was not preventable. So, I've called on the advice of an expert.

Alan Wilson has more than 20 years' health and safety experience.

I've asked him to meet me at the Windsor Leisure Centre, where the

water slides have been designed to British recommended standards.

The exit pools are more than long enough.

None of them are coming more than 25% across this pool.

The slides are well planned and maintained.

The last two sections of that slide have been designed

to decelerate him.

Instead of shooting off the end like an Exocet,

you just drop down into the water.

'And there are plenty of trained, attentive staff.'

We've got lifeguards here, here, we've got lifeguards at the top.

You've still got the thrill factor, everyone's enjoying it

and rushing to get back up there.

So what will Alan make of Des' footage

from the Didim Beach Resort in Turkey?

That is absolutely terrifying the way they're coming off them slides.

Look at the speed they're coming off!

Every one of these people coming down I think are fortunate

they're not receiving some sort of injury.

Also, looking at it, the water level looks too low.

These people are likely to be hitting their feet

on the slide steps, which are underwater.

And I don't know how well this is policed by their lifeguards.

But that guy went down feet first,

if people go down headfirst you're looking at possible fatality.

I would imagine there has been more than one accident.

'And it seems that Alan's instincts are not wrong.'

I've had a very quick trawl through the internet

and already I've turned up four very similar situations.

Including one involving Stuart Dagger.

Security officer Stuart was also on a family holiday

when he tried the same set of slides as Des Jarvis.

When I got to the bottom of the slide, it was pretty immediate.

I've gone from lying on my back to literally vertical.

Both my heels slammed into the floor,

the shock wave shot right through me.

Instantaneous, ran right through my body.

I managed to get myself out the pool and hobbled off.

For a child, it's fine, totally fine,

but for an adult, that landing pool is not deep enough.

Stuart was relatively lucky.

An X-ray at A&E back in the UK revealed no breaks,

just tissue damage,

which meant crutches whilst he recovered.

But he's terrified that the same thing, or worse,

could happen to someone else.

One of the main things I'm hoping for is that the hotel and the

holiday companies take responsibility for what they've done

and put things right, simple as that.

At the time of their accidents, the five-star Didim Beach Resort

was marketed by several companies,

including First Choice and Thomas Cook.

You'd think that booking with brands like that would mean

extra safety, wouldn't you?

We put our findings to them.

Neither First Choice nor Thomas Cook for Airtours were prepared to

be interviewed on the programme, but they did give us a statement,

First Choice saying that the health

and safety of their customers is "of paramount importance" to them

and they operate the strictest quality standards

across all their hotels,

while Airtours - Thomas Cook - say that,

"We take the report of our holiday-makers having

"accidents extremely seriously,

"and an independent expert has done a full review of the

"hotel's water slides to check that they meet British

"and European safety requirements."

Airtours say that they fully audited the park in 2011

and it complied with European standards,

and the resort themselves state that their

health and safety policy is second to none,

the slides comply with European standards

and are perfectly safe to use.

Both Stuart and Des are taking legal action against the

holiday company with whom they booked.

Internationally, safety standards for water parks are

so inconsistent that ABTA have issued the

British and European standard as guidance to all their members.

We introduced the guidelines last year

because we have been aware of a growing number of incidents

with water parks,

so we wanted to make sure this was addressed within our guidelines.

And therein lies the problem - local laws vary

and we can't be sure how well or often they're enforced or checked.

So, before you head out on your water park adventure,

make time for a few simple checks.

Spend a few minutes watching the rides before you go on them.

Check if they look well maintained.

Are there plenty of lifeguards, and do they look competent?

Before you go down any slide, check where you'll come out.

Does it look deep enough and have plenty of run-off?

And remember, any activity involving water - fun as it is -

comes with risk,

be it simply slipping over or more serious accidents

like collisions or drowning.

So, be sensible, and make sure that you follow the rules.

Earlier in the programme I sent

Helen and Joe off in search of holiday heaven,

to see whether or not Britain really can compete with

the rest of the word when it comes to our hard-earned holiday budgets.

This week, the challenge was to find an absolutely brilliant

family beach holiday.

Helen has plumped for the Suffolk seaside resort of Aldeburgh.

And Joe, well, he's jetting off to Cirali, on the coast of Turkey.

It's 5:30 in the morning, it's still dark and I'm at the beach.

Even for those of you who like to get here early to nab the best spot,

this is a bit extreme.

But I'm here to hopefully meet

one of the very special visitors to this area.

Wow! Look at that!

So this is one that had hatched but he hadn't made his way up through the sand yet.

This is incredible! Look at that!

My goodness! And we've got a bit of movement to one side.

Is there something else? HE GASPS

Another one coming through!

Every year during the British summer school holidays

thousands of these loggerhead turtles hatch

and make their way into the sea.

It's mesmerising! It's absolutely incredible!

It really is a very, very special activity

that people can do here as a family.

-Do you know how big they get when they're fully grown?

-Hm.

-Yeah! Huge!

SHE LAUGHS Huge!

Now, I know in Suffolk they also have shingle beaches

and you can also watch the sunrise,

but you certainly can't witness what I've just seen here this morning.

'Add to that snorkelling in clear, warm waters,

'family cycling expeditions...'

Here we go! Bingo!

'..and fishing for your lunch...'

A fisherman's trick, if you hold it nice and close to the camera it makes it look bigger.

'..and I think this is the perfect family beach holiday.

'And I'm pretty sure I've beaten

'Helen's Suffolk seaside break hands down.'

Don't speak too soon, Joe, because it's not just abroad

that you can have close encounters of the animal kind.

MUSIC: The Lion Sleeps Tonight

You can touch the giraffe?!

-ALL LAUGH

-You can feed them.

You can touch the giraffe!

Just up the road from my digs in Aldeburgh

is the Africa Alive safari park.

Wow! Hello, giraffe! He's huge, isn't he?

It's quite a privilege to be this close,

because I imagine in the wild you don't even get this close, do you?

Entrance is around 60 quid for a family of four,

plus extras for some of the more special activities like this.

Which Lily and Summer are clearly loving.

All right? I think you'd have to go a long way round the world to beat this.

And you can also get involved

in one of the weirdest things I've ever done.

The word "aardvark" is actually translated into "earth pig"

and we get them to feed from the bottle just like this.

And you can see the length of the tongue as they take it from a bottle.

-HE LAUGHS

-That's amazing!

And we'll also apply out in this hot weather a factor of 30.

There you go. Here's a little bit of sun cream. I don't want you burning.

-Oh, look at them, they're spooning!

-HE LAUGHS

Now, you see, people travel all over the world

to experience unusual and different things, this is pretty unusual.

-This is up there with one of the most unusual things.

-Yes, definitely.

-Sunbathing and picnicking with an aardvark.

-HE LAUGHS

ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC

It's clear all the families here are having a ball.

And throw in one of the coolest pier-top arcades...

SHE SCREAMS

..and I reckon the Suffolk seaside

is a match for anywhere in the world.

I've got sand, I've got surf and it's not that cold.

Problem is...it is quite cold, actually.

Angela set us a two grand budget for a family of at least four

and I'm well under.

Even if you splash out on that large apartment,

you'd have plenty left in the kitty

for more entertainment and treats if you fancied it.

A pretty strong argument for holidaying at home.

Yeah, well don't get too smug, Helen, because I'm under budget too...just.

Yes, I took a hit on the airfares,

but once I'd covered the accommodation

all the fun was dirt cheap or even free.

And, let's face it, when you've got clear blue skies

and a deliciously warm sea, you don't really have to go off in search of entertainment.

So that is a win for me, I reckon.

So, guys, a family beach holiday.

Now, Britain has some terrific beaches,

but I wonder are they going to be beaten by those abroad. Joe?

Quite. I went to Turkey and it was beautiful,

crystal clear waters, wonderful snorkelling,

we released turtles into the ocean,

and actually once you're there it's very cheap as well,

the beach and all that kind of fun and games is completely free of charge.

So a fantastic holiday for guaranteed sun.

-I'll say that again, guaranteed sun.

-Oh, right!

-He's rubbing it in.

-But you can also have free fun and games in Britain.

-THEY LAUGH

The good thing about staying in Britain

is you can take extended members of your family.

And, of course, you don't have to hire an expensive family house,

you could go in caravans or even go camping.

And when we have a great summer it does take a bit of beating,

but if you want that guaranteed sunshine then really no choice is it, Joe?

Hey, these are the options. Got it covered.

Fortunately, most holidays run problem free,

but there are all kinds of medical mishaps that can get in the way of our fun in the sun

and that's why the Beach Surgery is open for business.

Over the course of the series, Dr Chris van Tulleken and I

will be on call for British holiday-makers

experiencing some of those common...

Every time I fly my feet swell up.

'..and not so common...' Are you all right?

'..holiday ailments.'

It might be a running skin worm.

First up today, it's five-year-old Ruby Fisher.

Yesterday...Ruby was complaining of a sore ear.

Ruby had gone to sleep as normal,

but then woke up in the middle of the night with excruciating pain.

I mean, she was in so much pain, so much agony, nothing would, you know, relax her.

-So you've been here for slightly more than a week?

-Yeah.

-And you didn't...

Your ears didn't hurt after the plane flight when you came in? OK.

-Have you been swimming?

-We spent quite a lot of time in the pool

and yesterday she did spend quite a lot of time under the water as well.

Open your mouth wide. Say, "Ah!"

-Ah!

-Right, I'm going to have a look at your ear.

And we will see if we can see anything.

It's probably swimmer's ear. So it's probably an infection of the ear canal

-that some drops will just clear up.

-Yeah.

-What is swimmer's ear?

-If you get water in the ear canal

it can get inflamed and itchy and it can be fungus or bacteria,

just inflammation of the ear canal itself.

Water in the ear canal

can leave the inner ear

more vulnerable to infection,

which is why swimmer's ear

or otitis externa

is one of the most common conditions to affect competitive swimmers.

The water can wash away protective wax

and provide a moist environment for bacteria to prosper.

Getting water out of the ear after you go swimming is the best thing to do.

So after you go in the water, Ruby, you've got to do a little dance.

You've got to get the head right over...and get the leg up.

And shake your leg and just let the water come out of your ears, OK?

'She doesn't look impressed! If it doesn't right itself in a couple of days,

'antibiotic ear drops should quickly clear Ruby's problem.'

Oh, well, that's good now. At least we know we can go in that swimming pool.

'So Ruby can continue to have fun in the hotel pool as long as she agrees to try to keep her ears dry.'

Next to throw herself on the mercy of good Dr Chris today is Cathy Page,

who's come along with her friend and is worried about the effects of sunbathing.

I've got this mole and I know myself it's changed and everything.

And I've been putting things off,

but my daughter said, "Mum, this is an opportunity, why don't you go and see about it?"

OK. Well, let's go and see Dr Chris.

'Cathy has been ignoring the problem for a while,

'but has been persuaded by her daughter to see Dr Chris.'

-I've had this and it's changed and it's got a bit bigger.

-OK.

-But, I mean, I have spent a long time in the sun.

-Have you?

When I was young and without any sun cream.

-Did you get a lot of sunburns when you were younger?

-I've had a few.

-It's the burning that puts you at risk of the dangerous stuff, for the most part.

-Right.

Having some sun in our lives is probably good for us overall,

but burning and too much sun is bad for us.

So it's kind of finding the right amount and I think people

of...kind of an older generation, probably you just weren't as aware of it.

I think when you're younger you're a bit oblivious,

you're not thinking about 60 years down the line, are you?

-I've sunbathed in vinegar.

-Yeah.

-Why?

-Sunbathed in vinegar?!

-Yeah. And olive oil, you put it over.

-So it's salad dressing, basically?

And a bit of garlic, some mustard? THEY LAUGH

A few herbs. Right, I think we need to put

-a don't-do-this-at-home disclaimer on the sunbathing in salad dressing.

-No, don't do it, I fried.

The exact causes of skin cancer are unknown,

but most cases are linked to exposure to UV light,

which is what sun cream protects us from.

But salad dressing certainly won't,

which is why DIY sun protection is not a good idea.

The first sign of a problem is usually a new mole or a change in an existing one.

If we look at it, what are the things that we might worry about?

Well, the dangerous cancers, the melanomas, they're often dark,

a change is always worrying, you can have a mole that changes.

Sometimes they can bleed, sometimes they can itch.

The things that worry me about this, it's got darker and it's changed.

Oh, it's changed, it's protruded.

I would suggest when you get back to the UK, you see your GP.

I suspect they will send you to a dermatologist who will make a little incision,

cut it out, you'll have it done in half an hour and they'll look at it under a microscope

and they can say it is or it isn't.

And they can treat you accordingly.

It's maybe good, because my daughter's forced me to come,

it'll make me go to the GP.

If you are worried about your skin here's a few top tips on the things that you should look out for

if you have got a mole.

A is for Asymmetry.

An irregular shaped mole

should be checked out.

B is for Border. If the edges aren't clearly defined

it is also a cause for concern.

C stands for Colour.

If the colour is varied or dark it's another bad sign.

And finally, D is the Diameter.

Melanomas tend to be greater than half a centimetre.

And, remember, treatment of skin cancers has improved substantially in recent years

and they can often be dealt with very simply and very effectively.

BELL

Earlier in the show, I promised I would return to L'Ambiance Resort in Turkey

to check how they were getting on tackling the long list of faults at the hotel.

And four weeks after my visit I have.

But everything is...well, just a little bit mysterious.

Now, when we said to the manager that I was coming back to see the changes being put in place,

they said not possible, the hotel's going to be closed, the manager's going to be away.

You know, nothing doing.

However, now we're here... HE LAUGHS

..the hotel isn't quite closed, there's no paying guests here

but there are a few people around and I've just heard the manager is on site.

Hussein, good to see you again.

-How are you?

-How are you? All right.

So we promised we'd do a revisit to show our viewers what's changed and what's been going on,

and what they can expect from this hotel.

What could we film during the course of today now we're here?

TRANSLATED FROM TURKISH

We don't need to do any filming inside because we're not ready yet.

OK, so no filming today?

-Nothing really, no changes?

-Thank you very much.

-OK. Thank you.

-Thank you for coming again.

-OK.

Stop the filming. OK.

There we have it. So...

maybe not quite the revisit we were hoping for, I guess.

A bit disappointing. Hm.

Well, to be frank, this hasn't turned out how I'd hoped.

Things certainly haven't got better, in fact, I'd say they've got a bit worse.

Now, the manager has said it's OK, there's still plenty of time before next season to put things right,

but what's also apparent is there's no urgency here.

They weren't fixing problems when the guests were here

and they're certainly not even now the guests have gone home.

So I sincerely hope that over the coming months the manager does stay true to his word

and makes the changes that are necessary here for guests to have a happy and safe holiday experience.

-That's it for Holiday Hit Squad this week.

-On next week's programme.

Behind the scenes at a Turkish A&E.

-Four breaks?! You made a proper job of it, didn't you?

-Yeah.

I check into another heartbreak hotel.

My goodness! There's a whole wall of grime!

And Joe and I take a thrill-seeking break.

That was absolutely fantastic!

So be sure to make a date to join us.

But until then, from all the team, bye-bye.