Chris and Cannadine I'm Different: Let Me Drive

First of all, the car's in neutral, secured. And my eyes and ears?

Are they in the middle of the head restraint?

Er, they are now, yes.

Every year in Britain,

over a million and a half young people learn to drive.

You don't have to get on the bus or a train.

Around 50,000 of them have a disability.

Going to the toilet, going to the toilet.

They would think, honestly,

what's he doing slowing down when he doesn't need to?

But this isn't stopping them.

There'll be people out there who go,

"You can't do this because you're autistic."

If they don't like it, they should stay off the road.

But it does make things a little more challenging.

Now would be a good time to twitch.

Potentially, if I twitch, I could kill someone.

-I feel like I want to stop now.

-You want to stop?

-Yeah.

Passing their test will change their lives.

I can drive to the music concert

and I can see Boy George and Dale Winton.

Visit every single Scottish wind turbine.

From first lessons...

Whee!

-HORN BLASTS

-Did they just beep at me?

Stop!

My God.

-Oh, my God.

-Sorry.

That was very efficient.

..to the day they take their test.

-You have got your driving licence with you, haven't you?

-I haven't.

No! No!

No! No!

The road to success is no easy ride.

I just need to pass.

I hate walking.

OK, seeing as you're doing your driving lesson,

I brought you pictures

of when you used to drive when you were smaller.

-Look, that's you in Auntie's car.

-Oh, yeah.

-Do remember that one?

-I remember that.

28-year-old Cannadine wants to pass his test

to increase his independence.

Well, if I drive, if I pass and I could be independent, yes,

because I don't actually want to...

..to rely on other people. I could rely on myself, actually.

He lives on his own, but his mum Rita comes over regularly.

-Look at this one.

-Oh, yeah.

-With your pyjamas on.

-Oh, yeah.

-'He's always loved cars.'

-Do you remember, that car used to go backwards as well?

-Yeah.

And you used to do your three-point turn, you did a lovely job.

Cannadine was diagnosed with autism at the age of eight.

Now, he's determined to get his driving licence.

I'm trying my very, very, very best to pass.

-INTERVIEWER:

-How would you feel if he passed his test?

How would I feel? Nervous.

Oh, my God.

I suppose because, like my family said to me, how do you feel?

Is this a wise thing for him to do?

And my thing is...

..I'm not going to take that away from him.

I don't think it's for me to say you can't do this and you can't do that.

Because I don't know what he will achieve.

So I just wait and see.

So, some of your family think he shouldn't be driving?

Yeah. Mm-hm.

-OK, Cannadine, how are you feeling?

-I'm feeling good.

Cannadine has been learning to drive for five years,

but has been with instructor Eshan for the last year.

How far should we keep from the cyclist?

A bit more left?

No, more right, or something?

You know, just about that far, like that. Or something.

I'm not like everyone else, I just think differently, that's all.

Going to the toilet, going to the toilet.

Cannadine's main challenge is keeping his concentration.

What's the maximum speed you're allowed to drive here, Cannadine?

-20?

-What speed are we driving now?

Check it, check the speedometer.

-30.

-Is that right?

-No, I don't think it is.

So just ease off the gas, yeah?

CANNADINE CHUCKLES

Yo, Cannadine, what's so funny?

-I'll tell you in a minute.

-Oh, all right, then.

Sometimes, Eshan might as well keep saying, "Cannadine,

"focus, focus, focus, Cannadine, you've got to focus on something."

That's what Eshan said.

Bit more looking. So we are aware what's happening behind.

That's what Eshan says, "Cannadine, focus, focus, stop."

"You didn't see any pedestrians. No, you've got to stop.

"No, no, Cannadine, stop, stop, stop."

-Idiot.

-Who's that?

That guy.

-What about using your mirrors?

-I am.

I am, I am, I am.

During his lessons, Cannadine is continually distracted.

-What is Billy doing there?

-Sorry?

-What is Billy doing in my road?

-Oh.

How do you think you've done today?

-I think I've done really well, actually.

-Yeah?

What is it that you think we need to work on?

Focusing on the driving,

looking at the mirrors and a lot of stuff, and it's all right, actually.

All the mirrors and the focusing, you know.

You know, the focusing and all that other stuff.

Just name me one thing when I see you next time

that you will work hard and improve on.

I can't remember.

-Get yourself nice and comfortable.

-That's good. Thank you.

26-year-old Chris is having his first driving lesson

with instructor Doug.

I know that's the accelerator, but I think that's the brake. Is it?

-Oh, that's the clutch and that's the brake.

-That's the brake.

Doing some check...

He started learning to drive three years ago,

but ran out of money, so had to stop his lessons.

Good, so everything's ready.

So, if you're happy and it's clear and safe...

-There we go.

-Good.

I want to keep an eye out if there are pedestrians around.

-Good.

-Want to make sure I stay right in the middle.

I am a safe driver.

A careful...observant driver.

OK, this has got to be trouble.

-I have to...

-Can you see that the right is clear?

I can see the right, but I can't see the left at all.

That's the worst bit.

I'm worried that I could be ending up underneath a truck

if I accidentally turned in and probably crash.

Your life could be taken or someone else's life could be taken.

I don't want to get into an accident or get into trouble with the law.

I mean, this is not something you just go to a theme park and ride

a go-kart or bumper cars, for Christ's sake,

it's nothing like that at all.

I can see it's clear on my side.

Chris has Asperger's syndrome.

There are so many blind spots, like these junctions here.

And he tends to worry about the unexpected.

The moment you're on the road

is the moment you will face unpredictability.

When you make one turn,

you could end up in traffic because of roadworks.

You could end up in a flood,

just literally so deep, the front of your car will be dipping in.

Chris is so concerned about safety...

Probably just go quickly into one.

..he's reluctant to get into second gear.

Ooh! I'm going to stay in first gear cos I can see a cyclist.

OK, potentially, but we can maybe get ourselves into second

cos you can see her, so whether you're in first or second gear,

you know she's there and you're not going to run her over.

What do you think we might do regarding these cyclists?

Well, I just keep away - about three car spaces?

OK, would you like to get beyond the cyclists?

Do you think we can go faster than the cyclists?

Not while I can see parked cars on the other side.

I could overtake, but I'm not overtaking like this.

It's actually a...life or death

if you don't...

if you don't drive right.

So, how did you feel that went?

I thought that went great.

-Good.

-I was still a bit cautious with junctions, though.

Yes, that's fine. It showed.

I mean, yeah, we were driving like a learner.

But is driving like a learner a problem at this point?

No. One, because I'm relearning.

-And two, I'm just making sure I drive safely.

-Absolutely right.

There's an important reason for Chris to pass his driving test.

Several times a week,

Chris makes an 11-mile trip to meet up with his girlfriend.

As you see, I have to catch buses.

There's only two within the hour.

Even just one on Sundays.

For me to see Michelle is even difficult on a Sunday.

I have to study bus timetables, routes, all of it.

I still find a way to reach her.

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Happy to see you again.

Chris met Michelle two years ago at college.

She also has a learning disability.

-Are you both in love?

-Yes.

Indeed.

-Yes, we still keep holding tight.

-We are.

Michelle's fed up of relying on public transport.

All we've been doing for the last couple of months now, Chris, is

bussing here and bussing there.

And buses actually drive me insane.

When I pass my test,

we could go anywhere without worrying about getting home by bus.

If Christopher passes it, I'll be so chuffed, I'll be so over the moon.

If you say, "Where do you fancy going, Michelle?"

I'll just say here and there.

And you can pick me up whenever you like from my house

and then take me out places where we always dreamed of.

Just got to press on and I will.

HE GROANS

Buses are also an issue

for Cannadine, but for a different reason.

See? London Suburban Buses.

I hate them.

These are all the ones that I don't like.

Because of the moving, and that the sound is disgusting.

-What, does it hurt your ears?

-Yeah, it does.

-Oh, OK.

-It hurts my ears.

-OK.

-ENGINE ROARS

-Hear that sound?

Hear it?

What's wrong with it?

Can't you hear it?

It goes...rrr-rrr! Like a baby mouse or whatever.

It's like a part-mouse part-baby, it's disgusting.

Hear it?

I wish they'd all get destroyed.

And I'll laugh my head off.

Rita has decided to see for herself how he's getting on.

Welcome, Rita.

-Thank you.

-Nice to see you.

-Yeah.

First time you're driving your mum today, Cannadine.

-Yeah.

-Lovely.

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

It is, isn't it?

Oh, my God.

-Right?

-Yeah.

-You've got to be very aware what's happening behind.

And if they do that, what shall we do?

Keep going fast.

Keep checking the mirrors, yeah?

Eshan's plan for the lesson

is to work on improving Cannadine's concentration.

-HE SIGHS

-This is really doing my head in.

-What's that?

-Oh, it's a long story.

OK.

# Da-da-da, da-da, da-da-da

# Da-da-da. #

Eshan has been teaching Cannadine how to spot hazards.

What were you looking for there, Cannadine?

-I was looking for some people there.

-To do what?

Just in case they run over or something.

-That was good, wasn't it, Cannadine?

-Yeah.

-I really like that.

Yeah.

Good awareness, you know?

Hazard anticipation.

Astaghfirullah!

But then a pedestrian runs across the road and Cannadine accelerates.

Just be careful here, be careful of the speed.

The speed was a bit too fast there. Why did you accelerate like that?

-I don't know.

-Keep to the left, please.

-There was no need at all, yeah?

-OK.

-Especially with that person.

-Yeah.

-All right?

That last person who crossed the road suddenly, mmm? Yeah?

-Dangerous in front of us.

-Mm-hmm.

Suddenly we decided to accelerate.

-Why?

-I just forgot, you know.

-Forgot what?

-Forgot to stop.

-You know...

-You need to stop.

-Yeah.

-Didn't need to accelerate.

Yeah, all right. Yeah.

-Agree?

-I quite agree with that, yeah.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-A bit more focusing on the driving, OK?

There's a reason why Cannadine is distracted.

Memories of being bullied at primary school

often surface when he's driving.

-There's a couple of people that I didn't like.

-OK.

He used to keep hitting me.

-Did he?

-Throwing pencil cases at me.

-He's talking about years ago.

-Not now? OK, OK.

-You've got to focus on the good, not the bad.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, exactly, that's the way you'll move forward.

-Yeah.

-Because in the past some horrible people

-do some horrible things to you.

-Yeah.

-That's gone, finished.

-Like ginger pubes.

-Ah, ah!

-ESHAN LAUGHS

-That's not nice.

-I'm glad it's not nice.

-I know, but it's not nice.

-You don't say that.

-Yeah.

"Ginger pubes"!

One of them just hit me, punched me up the back,

kicked me, pushed me, hit me in the head and then they said,

"Call me that one more time and I'll smack you in the face."

He continues to have problems focusing on the drive.

Yeah, so that's a massive problem. I mean...

INTERVIEWER: Will he ever overcome it?

Well, erm...

I am not 100% sure.

I've been living here for three years now.

I decided to live independently.

Chris lives on his own in a studio flat in Bournemouth.

2007...

..is when my mum died.

That was a sudden shock.

No-one expected that.

And then there's Dad,

who died recently.

So they're both gone.

When they died, it just felt like someone grabbed

a hammer and smashed my life like a window.

I just want my independence so I can make my mum and dad proud and...

..show everyone that, without bragging about it, that I can do it.

Chris has been learning for three months now

but he's still very worried about potential hazards on the road.

I can see traffic lights on red.

-Not the nearest one cos that's still green.

-OK.

So when are we going to have to deal with them?

Erm... I would say just slow down, be ready.

But when were you going to do that?

-When you get closer to them or...?

-When we get close enough.

Yeah. So, yeah, what we're looking at is when you see the hazard or

when you see the potential hazard,

we're thinking about the things we might potentially have to do

when we get to it, rather than seeing a potential hazard

and almost overreacting.

As well as driving, Doug has been helping Chris with his theory test.

And at the end of today's lesson, Doug drops him at the test centre.

-Here we are.

-This is it, the moment.

The time is now. So, good luck.

Thank you so much and I'll let you know when I come out.

-Give me a call, let me know later.

-Chris's sister's there for support.

Whatever happens here, if I don't pass,

-I'll be ready for the next one straightaway.

-Yeah, exactly.

Now I know I've got the practice.

Exactly, just don't be disappointed.

It's another step for you to learn from this

-and put it all into practice.

-After you.

-Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Moment of truth, shall we see how you did?

Yeah.

-You scored 44.

-Yeah, I scored 44.

Oh, my God.

-You've passed.

-No, no.

Oh, no. Read it again. I swear... That's...

I swear, this cannot be it.

-I passed!

-HE LAUGHS

-Yes!

-You did it, well done.

Yes, I passed! Yeah!

That's fantastic.

Well done. High five.

I can't even... I can't even keep hold of it!

Well done, I'm so proud of you.

Michelle...

..I passed.

Oh!

Oh, well done, Chris.

I'm so proud of you, Chris.

-I can't thank you enough, either.

-I'm so proud. Well done.

-Look.

-Sorry!

-SHE LAUGHS

-She's so happy.

-I'm so happy for you, Chris. I knew you could do it.

Imagine what you're going to be like when he actually passes

-his driving test.

-Yeah, I'll be very happy, Chris.

You'll be like, "Christopher,

"could you please pick me up from so-and-so, please?"

"Be right there."

Over the next few months,

our learner drivers work hard to improve their driving skills.

How do we feel the position's going?

Erm... Wrong.

HE LAUGHS

Stop.

Chris is becoming a far more confident driver and stops

overreacting to danger...

-Oh, I can see a hazard.

-There we go. Good.

Yeah, in other words, I can point out the possible hazards

but not actual hazards.

..while Cannadine is starting to focus more

and learning to control his speed.

See how you, normally, how you use the gas lightly, look at that.

Yeah?

When he first started, to what he's doing now,

it's a massive improvement, but it took a long time.

The use of the controls - absolutely superb.

The problem with him is, one week

it's not too bad but the next week he could go back.

It all depends on his concentration

and that's where we're having problems.

Today Chris is taking his mock driving test.

OK, so when you're ready you can drive away.

-HE COUGHS

-Sorry about the coughing.

That's quite all right. It's not a fault.

If he can prove to Doug that he's overcome his extreme cautiousness,

then Doug will let him book the real thing.

Drive past and stop.

Reverse back into the side road,

keeping yourself reasonably close to your left-hand kerb.

When you're ready.

OK, that'll do. That's absolutely fine.

OK, when we get to the traffic lights,

it'll be the right turn that we want.

OK, right turn.

Down the bottom of the hill here, we want to go ahead

-at the roundabout, taking the second exit.

-OK.

HORN BLARES

-We finish where we started.

-OK.

There were some bits and pieces we'll pick up on, though.

You may remember when we came down to the big roundabout

at the bottom of the hill.

As you came out, that was quite close to that car that was

coming from the right-hand side. What was the good thing,

what saved you was once you got going, you got going.

Yeah, you got out there and you put your foot down,

cos had we been a bit sort of slow and sluggish as we had

come out there and he'd been braking because of us as

we came round and that would then have fallen under the serious fault.

-OK.

-So, drumroll. Do you think you've passed

or do you think you've failed?

-It feels so close to passing.

-Good.

-Yeah. So close.

Yeah. That would have been a pass. So, yeah, so well done.

Well, for the first lesson I'd ever taken, I was overcautious,

then I was trying to be not as cautious as I was,

but that meant I was too much less cautious.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Were you scared on the roundabout?

I'm not scared. Can't scare me - I'm a driving instructor!

-Nice to see you.

-It's nice to see you, too.

-Right.

-No stress today?

-Not really.

-Nothing at all?

-No.

-So you can focus on the drive today, can't you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Nobody upset you.

-No.

Cannadine's driving has been improving so much

that today Eshan wants to set him a target

and see if he can go a whole lesson without being distracted.

Cannadine, we will now turn the car round to face the opposite way.

-All right, all right.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

SENSOR BEEPS

-Look behind again before you move, yeah? See that person?

-Yeah.

Wait for him to go. It's got to be clear.

-Now, before you move, where should we look?

-That way and this way.

-That's it.

-Yes.

-OK?

-Yeah.

We're just going to pull up on the right here.

Successful three-point turn completed, they pull over.

But it's outside Cannadine's old school.

-I just want to get out of here.

-Where?

-Here.

-You don't like the school?

-No, I don't like the school but...

-Is that upsetting you because we are near the school?

-Yes.

-Are you remembering what happened?

-Yes.

OK, let's forget all about that, focus on the drive.

Move off when ready.

It's broken his concentration.

-I couldn't see you look left at all there.

-Yeah.

-Why didn't you look?

-I just forgot.

-You forgot to look.

-Yeah.

So how can we drive safely like that?

-I don't know.

-Huh?

-I don't know, really.

Cos you said to me you're going to make an effort.

I am trying my best to make an effort, Eshan.

-OK.

-Yeah.

'Cannadine continues to struggle.

'He always comes up with issues,

'most of the time during the school time when he had a problem,

'then he loses concentration completely.'

There will be a point where he either tries

a bit harder to show me that he is actually improving,

otherwise we'll just have to stop there.

It's the day of Chris's driving test

and they're on their way to the test centre.

Learning how to drive and getting a car is so important to me because

I will have that freedom of choice,

no worries about trains, no worries about taxis,

no worries about buses.

So many opportunities I will get once I pass this.

But Chris isn't just doing it for himself -

he's thinking of his parents.

They would be very proud that I'm so close to driving independently.

A proper free man.

Over the last six months,

Chris has tried to overcome his fear of the unpredictable...

-Do you think we can go faster than the cyclists?

-I could overtake.

..and become a confident driver.

So, do we need to slow down before we get to this crossing?

-No, but be ready to.

-But be ready to.

But maybe a bit too confident.

HORN BLARES

This driving test, this will also be...to tell everyone that...

..I accomplished something.

If I can accomplish this...

..then I can accomplish other things, too.

Chris's test is over

and Michelle is desperate to know if he's passed.

'I really need to know, Chris, cos I'm actually getting anxious.'

But he wants to tell her in person.

-Hello. You all right?

-Yes.

I'll show you.

-You've actually done it?

-I passed.

Oh, well done, Chris.

-I'm so pleased.

-Thank you.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm so proud of you, Chris. Well done.

Thank you so much.

-Where do you want him to take you?

-Anywhere. Anywhere.

Anywhere like Timbuktu, really.

INTERCOM RINGS

After five years

and over 100 lessons,

it's time for Cannadine and his mum to make a difficult decision.

-All right, thank you. And you?

-Yeah, not bad.

-So how is he getting on with driving?

-Yeah, so...

-driving is not for everyone.

-No.

-When Cannadine is driving...

-Yeah.

-..he's focusing...

-Yeah.

..but not enough.

-In other words, his driving is not safe.

-Right.

I know you enjoy the actual experience, yeah?

So...

do you still want to have driving lessons?

-I still want to have driving lessons, yes. I want to.

-Right.

-And I don't want to give up on it.

-Right, OK.

-And I don't actually want to quit anyway.

-Mm-hm.

I still want to keep on doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it.

And there is no point, you know,

anyone taking the test if they're not ready.

I completely understand that.

But I am quite happy for him to still have lessons.

He is enjoying the whole experience

and, to me, that means more than him passing or not passing,

enjoying the experience. Yeah?

INTERVIEWER: Do you think one day Cannadine can take a test?

-Who knows? Who knows?

-This is it.

-Never say never.

-Never. I wouldn't say never.

I never give up on driving.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Why?

Because I still want to drive. That's why.

-Are you ready?

-Nope.

I can't believe I'm about to do this.

I'm feeling really nervous.

A few weeks later,

Chris takes Michelle out for the first time in his new car.

-Off we go.

-Off we go.

-Jesus.

-She didn't look.

You're going left.

'Of course there will always be people who say you can't do things.'

There'll be people out there who go, like,

"Oh, you can do this because you're autistic."

There's always going to be people like that.

They don't even...

They're probably the people that don't even try, themselves.

But I did.

Now I've got my independence,

there's no limits to where we can go to.

I wouldn't have believed how huge this achievement could be.

All the hard work has paid off.

-INTERVIEWER:

-How would your parents feel now?

-They would be proud.

-Absolutely.

-They would be proud.

-Like I am.

I still wish they were here though,

so I could see they're actually proud, but all I can do is feel it.

I feel they're proud, and that's all I need to know.

And I've just got to make them proud

by staying as a careful, decent driver.

That car on the edge is causing a temporary obstruction.

..Rannoch keeps a careful eye on the road...

Yes.

Oh, yeah. A motorcyclist.

There's somebody waiting for a bus.

'Although I'm autistic, I'm very safe.'

HE TUTS

I haven't fallen into any ditch or anything like that so far.

..and Helen struggles to keep her hands on the wheel.

I do twitch but I try not to twitch...

..cos I could kill someone.

Now would be a good time if you were going to have to twitch, to twitch.