My £9.50 Holiday

This programme contains some strong language

How much would you pay to go on holiday?

Believe it or not, you can now get away for less than a tenner.

Just buy a newspaper,

cut out the vouchers

and send off your money.

For that you get a weekend in a caravan.

Let's have a look.

EXCITED CHATTER

Hey! Look at that. An iron too!

In the last 20 years, almost 40 million Brits have

been on one of these bargain basement breaks...

Actually, it is better than my house, to be honest!

Hello, boys and girls, hello!

..and when times are hard,

more and more of us need a cheap chance to escape...

Two, three, go!

..whatever our means.

There's probably about 70p left in my purse.

Maybe well-off people are well off

because they know how to be good with money.

Hi, Sparky, high-five. This is Sparky the rabbit.

For big business,

cash-strapped holiday-makers can offer rich pickings.

You actually physically don't need to leave the park.

It's all here for you.

Will £9.50 buy the getaway of your dreams?

Skeggy!

Or leave you feeling short-changed?

It's raining so they've got nothing more to do than

sit and pick holes in their caravans.

Not that I'm saying their caravan's tat, but, well...

In hard-up Britain, the staycation is thriving.

These days, more and more of us have no choice but to holiday at home.

Holiday parks are at the forefront of this boom,

bringing in billions of pounds every year.

In Skegness, Paul Chapman manages one of the east coast's

biggest parks - Southview, part of the chain Park Resorts.

Creating amazing memories is our company vision.

It all goes back to leaving one of our holiday parks

and having those memories with you for years that were amazing.

There are six key values,

and they're just up on the wall behind me there,

which feed into everything that we do

in terms of creating amazing memories.

That's it. Creating amazing memories. Boom.

Creating amazing memories is big business.

The company's annual turnover is £180 million,

and Paul's park is one of their prize assets.

Southview is a big park. We've got over 1,200 caravans.

At any one point during a busy period,

we can have, potentially, up to 4,000 people on the resort.

But it's not easy keeping a park this big fully booked.

Outside the school holidays,

Paul relies on cut-price bookings from newspaper voucher schemes.

Probably on what we call an off-peak week,

80% of the caravans can be occupied

by somebody that's on one of our voucher holidays.

A caravan sat empty is not earning us as a business any money

so, you know, we're quite happy

to have customers on a voucher promotion in a caravan

and, you know, we're going to earn some money.

It's May and voucher holiday-makers across the country are setting off.

Morning, girls. Wakey, wakey!

Up we get.

For some, it's the only holiday they can afford this year.

In Southend in Essex, the Pearsons have five children aged three to 11.

Do you want some breakfast?

Dad Michael runs his own small business,

but they struggle to pay for a family break.

Can't afford to go abroad.

It's too much money to buy passports and everything so

we just tend to stick to this country. It's cheaper.

When the Pearsons discovered voucher holidays a couple of years ago,

it was the first holiday

they'd been able to afford for all seven of them.

We like the fact that we can get a nice, cheap break.

Cos otherwise we only had one holiday a year, which was with his mum.

We really enjoy it.

MUSIC: "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" by James Baskett

For their big family getaway,

they're treating themselves to a weekend in Great Yarmouth.

The seaside town is home

to one of Norfolk's more exotically named holiday parks -

California Cliffs.

# Mr Bluebird on my shoulder

# It's the truth, it's actual... #

Every Friday, Carl Scamp and his team

have just a few hours to get the caravans ready.

# Wonderful feeling. #

We're two cleaners short and we've got 80 caravans being let today.

But obviously we've got other families that are departing

from other caravans so I think, all in all, we're doing about 110,

I think. Something like that anyway.

Me and Tracey have cleaned 20-odd caravans in a day before.

-Ain't we, Trace?

-Needs must!

When needs must.

Where are we off to next?

Four walls of aluminium aren't for everyone.

But, now that money's tight, the humble caravan's becoming

the holiday of choice for some that never previously dreamed of it.

The big holidays were always abroad.

We learned to dive in Fiji and Australia.

-We were there for four months. It was just...

-Lots of wine tasting.

We really enjoyed the Thai cooking course, didn't we?

We've been on safari, haven't we? Vietnam was really nice.

So, yeah, certainly couldn't afford to do anything like that now.

Can I have a quick look back here?

In Burton on Trent, Paul and Emma Revell are both vets.

You can only choose four things.

Successful professionals who've had to rein in their holiday spending.

Look at those teeth of yours.

Their first voucher holiday was two years ago

and they've found that saving money can be fun.

I find it quite exciting, you know, to get a really good deal,

to be able to do something fun and good for cheaper than it should be.

We'll take the pinky ones as well.

I'm proud that I've saved a lot of money.

So, for now, the safaris are on hold.

-I don't think we've told you where we're going. We're going to Skegness!

-Skegness.

Let's go! Come on, let's go. GIRL SHOUTS EXCITEDLY

Each resort has caravans to cater for every taste and budget.

From the Platinum, with double glazing and central heating,

through to Gold, Silver...

Please be nice and left in a clean condition.

..or, if you can only afford £9.50...

Smells a bit fishy!

..the Bronze.

Perhaps they had kippers for breakfast.

-I'm just going to spray the bathrooms and stuff.

-Yeah.

I personally wouldn't want to stay in a Bronze

because obviously they are a bit smaller than Golds and Silvers

and not of a...

A high standard. They're just the very basic caravan.

There's no heating in the bedrooms. You just have a gas fire

as your heating, which...

In the winter time these caravans are freezing.

Right, what's left, just the hoovering?

£9.50 per person gets you the caravan

but there are a few extras.

You also pay a service charge, which, for example, this weekend

is £22.50, which covers all your utilities -

so your gas, electricity, water -

and then you have additional bolt-ons that you can add.

So if you wanted linen, that's an additional cost.

At the moment that's £4.50 per person.

Or you can bring your own and not have the charge.

You'll get some who may have not done it before

and they get confused with the service charge.

So they'll arrive and go, "Oh, I've got no linen. I paid for it."

You go and look at the booking and they've actually not paid for it

so they have to come to reception and pay for it.

So for four people this weekend, with service charge and bed sheets,

that's £76.

Cheap little break for some families, innit?

It's not just families.

Not all 18 to 30s can afford two weeks in Kavos.

-Where's Emma?

-Calling her now.

In Mildenhall in Suffolk,

23-year-old Nina and 19-year-old Corine

both still live on the street they grew up on.

This town is boring. There is nothing to do.

The only thing to do is to go out on a Friday and go to work.

That's about as far as it goes.

But this weekend, they've decided to escape.

I've never done a holiday with friends before. Something new.

Get away from this...shithole.

ALL: # Rolling!

# Rolling on the river

# Rolling! #

They've invited their friends for a weekend away

from working long hours for low pay.

'If you wanted to go abroad, half of them couldn't afford it.'

I don't give a fuck.

'Cos it's so cheap, everyone can come.'

It's not quite 100 miles from Mildenhall to Skegness.

We all need a wee, I think.

They all give me 40 quid and then

that included our bedding, gas and electricity and petrol money.

-Can't beat it, can you, really?

-Exactly.

Play centre worker Nina's just worked 24 days in a row.

I don't mind working minimum wage

cos, at the end of the day, it's a job.

Any job, you take it, whatever it is.

16 when I left school then never been out of a job since.

You don't get nowhere in life without money, do you?

Corine and the others all still live at home with their parents.

-It's weird being away from home.

-Next year, maybe.

Hello, Mum?

Are you all right?

Yes, I'll eat, Mum.

Love you loads. Bye.

My mum... My mum just texted me saying, "What's the name of

"the holiday park you are staying at in case of an emergency?"

When you still live with Mum and Dad,

a weekend in a caravan is a chance to play house.

This is flipping amazing!

Yeah, we got an iron too!

Oh, we're fucking in there, mate. Tell ya.

I thought it was going to be a tiny little...

You know, we'd all have to squidge past. No, it's really good.

Actually, it is better than my house, to be honest.

We're here!

Although it's cheaper than their previous holidays,

the Revells are still after a more premier experience.

Let's have a look.

He said, "Let's upgrade!"

That's what you were worried about, I think, wasn't it?

That they'd just be horrible and old and just not very pleasant.

I can smell poo! I think it's bird poo.

Oh, come and have a look!

They've gone for a Silver caravan.

The van's wider, you get heating, and it's just nicer.

The decor's nicer.

Actually, I've noticed the bathroom's got a towel rail, as well,

which we've never had before so that should warm it up a little bit.

But don't worry if you haven't booked your upgrade in advance -

it's never too late to pay a little extra.

We always look to upgrade customers wherever possible.

A lot of customers may decline them beforehand but, actually, when they

get here and we have a conversation when they're checking in,

I think they have that impulsive, "Oh, yeah, we can have an upgrade

"and it's only going to be £50."

We do do a lot of money from upgrading.

It's all money for us as a business.

The upgrade was £55 to Silver.

There weren't any Golds available,

cos I'm sure I will have been asked to ask

how much that would have been.

I'm just calling reception

cos it doesn't seem that our travel cot's here.

OK, 12, 13 and 17 equal 47. 30.

6pm. Check-in is nearly closed.

We're nearly there.

Where's number seven? Where's number seven? Where's number seven?

There's no numbers!

But here come some late arrivals.

They haven't got names. Oh, Bittern. Look, look, look.

Bittern where?

THEY LAUGH

Where's number seven, then?

Which one? Where is it, then? That one, there?

A caravan originally booked for a romantic getaway.

Reserving judgement.

But after splitting with her boyfriend,

Sam only found a replacement at the last minute - Claire.

Oh, my lord.

I'd just also split up with my boyfriend so I thought,

"Well, this is a chance for us to have a little girly weekend."

-Is this my bed, then?

-Well, you're not kipping in with me, girl.

For the two single mums, a weekend away is a rare treat.

These are actually quite narrow, really, aren't they?

To be honest, some weekends I don't leave the house.

Seriously, I finish work at two on the Friday,

go and do a bit of shopping and spend the whole week in

cos I don't want to ring anybody and disturb their plans

and make them feel that, "Oh, I should spend time with Sam."

-Or feel sorry for you or something, yeah.

-Yeah.

-Here's our shower.

-Clean?

It's wet still so they've just cleaned it. It's fine.

I mean, a caravan holiday wouldn't be your first choice, would it?

-I wouldn't have thought so, no.

-For a girly weekend?

-No.

It would have to be abroad and in the sun and by the beach, really.

-I'm so glad you've got that and I've got the double.

-There's a heater.

Put that on. You'll want to warm that up, I think.

This will sound really stupid.

As much as I don't like nets, there's no nets.

-No. A bit open.

-You walk out the toilet kind of straight... Oh, no.

I just think there should be nets or blinds or something.

That's all right, isn't it?

Clean, basic. Just what you need, really, for a couple of nights away.

With everyone in their caravans, the holiday can begin.

-Another day done, Trace.

-Yeah.

'We are about creating amazing memories here.

'That is what we do and we all try our hardest

'to create those amazing memories.'

You arrive here and don't have to

worry about anything what's going on in the real world.

It's just that little moment where you can get away from

the grind of everyday life, if you like, and they don't start thinking

about the real world until they drive out the gates again

when they're going home.

Being part of that is just absolutely phenomenal. Makes it all worthwhile.

Around two thirds of Paul's punters are on a break with family.

For the Pearsons,

their only family holiday of the year is an invaluable getaway.

But when you've got five kids, it's hard to escape financial reality.

It's not something I consciously think,

"A child costs X amount,"

but you do have to be wary with a fair few children -

shopping, clothes...

Are you going to eat like a big boy?

-Birthdays.

-Christmas-time, obviously.

Parties, if we go on holiday...

Yes, definitely going on holiday is quite a large cost.

The Pearsons have brought £70 worth of food

to last all seven of them the whole weekend.

We tend to go shopping before we get there

so we don't have to buy stuff on site because it's more expensive.

We tend to do easy stuff as well

so I don't have to spend the whole day cooking,

so the kids tend to get a lot more junk food, don't they?

Yes, while we're away.

Perhaps that's why they enjoy it more, cos they're all buzzing!

They've got £50 spending money for the rest of weekend.

11-year-old Bethany is aware just how precious this holiday is.

It's what mum and dad deserve because they do so much for us,

spending all their time on cooking food for us and stuff like that.

And they don't treat themselves often at all.

I wish I could stay for a bit longer, but then it would cost more.

But not everyone's getting into the swing of things.

For doctor's receptionist Sam and pharmacy dispenser Claire,

this could be the only holiday they get all year.

It looks a bit tired.

Yeah, looking at the curtains and the tie-backs.

A little bit tired but, again, you're not paying a fortune, are you?

That's not the point, though, is it? If you went to a B&B...

I'm not saying five-star luxury, but they've come round

and cleaned the place, so did you not notice the curtain?

There is a curtain missing.

-And net curtains, that's my one...

-Gripe.

-Yeah. Sorry.

Can you hear the rain?

-Oh, God.

-It's going to rain all weekend.

But holiday parks make money come rain or shine.

Although last year was one of the wettest on record,

Park Resorts' business continued to grow.

Each site is designed

so you can spend a little here and a little there.

Slightly smaller scale to what goes on in Vegas,

but it is a big part of our business.

This is where, when people are on holiday, hopefully they'll spend money.

Creating amazing memories in the Lakeview Showbar.

It's the hub, the heart of the park, where everything happens, all the entertainment.

Having drinks, watching the cabaret.

It's a huge part of the holiday experience.

If you're on a voucher holiday, as well,

you may have saved up that extra bit of money and you're going to want to spend it.

From a holiday guest point of view,

there is everything on the park that you need.

You physically don't need to leave the park - it's all here for you.

And of course, every successful business has a brand ambassador.

Hi, Sparky! High-five!

This is Sparky the rabbit.

He's responsible for creating amazing memories

for all the little boys and girls, aren't you, Sparky?

The boys and girls can meet Sparky in person

at every one of the 39 resorts, which also sell his merchandise.

And more money comes in from sales of the £4.50 weekend fun pass,

which gets you into the on-site facilities...

Hello, boys and girls, hello!

..to see Sparky and friends perform their nightly show.

-One, two, three... CHILDREN:

-Sparky!

Here's Sparky!

# SKC, Sparky's Krew Club

# SKC, Sparky's Krew Club

# SKC... #

For the Pearsons, it's the perfect way

to keep all five kids entertained for an evening.

But, even on a night out with Sparky,

they're watching every penny.

We cheated and brought in drinks from Aldi's before we came here

and saved some money cos the Cokes are £2.25,

so I know exactly how much I've saved,

cos these are 99p for ten of them.

So I have saved...£10.25.

I've got five kids and I don't work,

so I'm quite used to having a budget.

Night-night.

Sleep tight.

'It's lovely to see the children when you're on holiday.

'It's magical seeing them just enjoy themselves without any worries.

'Given half a chance, Nicole would'

quite happily have more children, but I think we've done our bit

and I don't think we could financially support any more.

-See you in the morning.

-Don't let the bed bugs bite!

-I won't.

MUSIC: "Waiting All Night" by Rudimental

Corine and her friends are filling up with cheap booze

before they hit the bar.

Ching, ching, ching!

'The day I left school.

'That's when it changes'

because you have to think about responsibilities -

college, uni, deciding where you're going to go in life.

Money, the value of money, jobs, careers, everything.

I like it, though. I wouldn't change it for the world.

One, two, three, go!

I would. I'd love to go back to school.

'At the minute, I earn enough for myself,

'but I couldn't move out of my house.'

I just don't earn enough.

I love it, I love it here - proper homely. It's a homely feel.

ALL: # And I would walk 500 miles

# And I would walk 500 more... #

They're hardly 500 miles from home,

but it's far enough for a first real taste of independence.

What did you have, 9.50 holiday? Caravan. Brilliant, ain't it?

-Yes!

-Thank you! Whoo!

Fucking awesome!

Whoo!

So homesick.

I didn't think I would be, but I am.

-I am not drunk!

-Not drunk?

-I am a little bit drunk, a little bit.

Just being away from your family.

It's stupid cos it's not even been a day.

-We know it, Skeggy, whoo!

-We love it!

Honest to God, it feels like I'm abroad!

DISTANT CHEERING

However cheap or expensive your holiday is,

one thing you can't guarantee is the weather.

And when it's your job to create amazing memories,

the last thing you need is rain.

Generally when it's raining...

..it cannot be a good holiday start for people.

They get less... We get more unhappy people when it's raining than when it's sunny, believe it or not.

Can't help the weather.

I know. You know what the trouble is with that, don't you?

When they're stuck in, all they do is sit in there

-and start looking for things.

-Yeah, they do.

If they see a cobweb round a light or something, they're like,

-"If that's here, what else is in here?"

-And that's when they start looking.

Yeah, cos it's raining so they've got nothing more to do than sit

and pick holes in their caravans.

But so far, touch wood, we've had nobody complain about anything.

Do you know, I'm so hungry. That grill is so poxy, isn't it?

It might be worthwhile mentioning that to the guy -

-the fact that the grill does not...

-For six people, really? No.

They'll pick things like...

the upholstery's dirty, the sofa's dirty,

the high dusting's not been done,

or they moan because they haven't got nets in the caravan

so it feels like being in a fish bowl.

Single mums Sam and Claire reported their missing curtain yesterday,

but so far nothing's been done.

It is just a Bronze, but is this one of those...

"It's a Sun holiday, so just give 'em any old tat"?

Not that I am saying their caravan's tat, but...

Or maybe they are just hoping that you will upgrade,

pay the extra and upgrade from a Bronze.

We aim to satisfy all of our customers' needs

because obviously the customer is our heart and soul, you know.

Anything that does go wrong on park,

we all do evaluate, learn and improve by it.

We are all obviously one team, one goal.

We don't have issues here, we have problems that we resolve.

Something like that.

-'Housekeeping receiving?'

-Yeah, go ahead.

'Van 35, the telly's not working, nothing at all, it's totally dead.

'Have we got a telly we can swap...?'

With thousands of customers on site, it takes a lot of hard work

to make sure they're all happy campers.

Did you upgrade? Because it's...

Your accommodation that you have booked

is a Bronze three-bedroom caravan.

-Hello, good morning. Everything OK?

-Yeah.

It's only Silver and Gold that have multi-room heating.

From March to October, Paul's park employs 165 members of staff.

Behind the scenes, loads goes on on a holiday park.

Hello! How are we doing? Busy?

It's just about making sure that every department on the park

is running to peak efficiency.

We've also got a takeaway menu

and some two-for-one meal deals that are available.

Everything all right?

'A lot of walking around.

'Or driving around. And a lot of talking to people.'

Making sure we can deliver on what we say we are going to deliver on.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Good morning!

-Hiya!

It's just a courtesy call to make sure everything's all right with your accommodation.

-Yeah.

-Everything's good?

We did mention the curtains, didn't we, yesterday? Yeah.

There's a curtain missing.

-Why did nothing get done about it?

-We just...

Leave it with me - I'll see what I can sort out

-for you for that window.

-OK, no worries.

-Thanks, but yeah.

That's OK. I didn't realise that was down.

No-one had told me that was like that, otherwise that would have been reported.

But honestly, why wasn't that...?

Because I was trying to get all the... I totally agree with you.

It was reported yesterday...

That's why I have to say.

-Very pleasant staff, but it's just...

-Yeah, he's nice, isn't he?

I was still pissed when I got home. I passed out!

I'm still pissed this morning!

The morning after the night before.

Corine's finding caravanning isn't quite the same as being at home.

It's just cos you're so used

to your parents just being around the corner.

Just running down the stairs to your mum or whatever, but here you can't.

It's like you have to ring them and just... I don't know.

Obviously, the alcohol didn't help either!

But it just makes you feel really...alone,

if that's the right way to put it.

-Hiya.

-Hello, people!

We've brought some curtains for you!

Oh, thank you!

-Thank you!

-That was quick!

Yeah, I'm really sorry it wasn't done yesterday.

-That's OK.

-It should have been.

We've only got brown curtains, I'm afraid.

Do you do this often, then?

No. This was supposed to be a romantic weekend for two on the cheap

-and that kind of went tits up.

-Didn't end up that way.

-No.

Do you like the British holiday?

-No.

-No?

-Not if I'm honest.

-Right, they're all done for you anyway.

-Thanks for that.

-Any more issues...

-They're actually nicer!

-They are, aren't they?

-OK, cheers, thanks!

-Bye-bye!

The issue's resolved, the curtains are up.

The curtains are up.

-So we've done it.

-And they're happy.

-You'll think this is awful.

-That's really picky!

-The tie-backs don't match!

-Of course they don't cos they're the tie-backs to the other curtains.

-Yes, I know, but...

-It's a contrast.

And no net curtains.

In the off-peak season, the parks take the most money at the weekends

and their star attraction's always on hand to help.

# Na-na na-na na na... #

Even on Sparky's birthday, there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Admission to this party isn't included in the weekend fun pass.

# Sparky's Krew Club... #

For the Pearsons, it's the one big treat

they can afford to give the kids this weekend.

Well done! Well done! How good were they, Sparky?!

Well, it's £20 for the kids to meet Sparky and have food

and get a goody bag

and that's their treat for the holiday from us.

They're on such a tight budget,

there's not enough for any extra treats.

We're selling key rings and fridge magnets and pens...

We can't give them things whenever they want it.

If they're told no, it means no and they can't have it.

There's no more pizza!

You can't buy their love.

You see people throwing money at kids

-and they don't seem to appreciate it, do they?

-No.

Ours appreciate everything they get, don't they?

Hopefully.

I know it sounds a bit selfish,

but I wouldn't want another brother or sister

because I don't think we'd cope with that many

and it would be a struggle, I think.

Big smiles! That's what I like to see!

But pizza and chips with Sparky isn't for everyone.

The Revells are getting ready for a kids' day out

with a packed lunch of cheese and ham wraps.

We've always eaten a wide variety of foods.

I think from our travelling, we eat a lot of curries,

tagines, things like that, so we've always just offered it to the girls

and one of their favourite dishes is lamb tagine.

-Yeah, Isabella loves olives and blue cheeses.

-And I like smelly cheese!

Yeah, I've got the changing bag, food bag...

Jasmine, are you going to get in your car seat?

For their main holiday treat,

the Revells are leaving the resort behind

and heading off to spend their money elsewhere.

Let's go!

It may not be a safari in Kenya

but in Skegness, they've found the next best thing.

-Two adults. We've got one of these vouchers.

-Right.

They've even got a voucher, so that one of the kids gets in for free.

Thank you. Your pin number for 15.60, please.

'The recession has tightened our belts

'and made us think more about what we are spending.

'Do we really need this? Can we live without it?'

Thank you. Wow! What's that?

'We don't spend so much on ourselves.'

We tend to shop a lot cheaper now and have cheapish breaks.

-Hello!

-Hello!

Isabella, no, please! Get down! You're showing Jasmine bad habits.

You're not allowed up there. Don't, you'll make her cry. Take that.

'It's an attitude thing, though, as well,

'cos I'm a really positive person, so I think I'm not...'

I'm not ridiculously scared that the future's going to be hideous.

If you do limit what you're spending now,

then you needn't get into big trouble, hopefully,

and stuff like that, so...

Yeah.

Penguin time now. Where are the penguins?

Shall we get you a sandwich?

Do you want a sandwich first?

Skegness doesn't just cater for those who like a little safari.

It's also got an answer to Las Vegas.

Locals call it "Skeg Vegas".

For Nina, Corine and friends, it's a chance to forget about work

and spend some hard-earned cash.

I don't gamble if I'm at home or in the bookie's or anything,

it's only when I come away.

'It kind of sucks cos it's going to take me a good couple of years

'just to get a full-time job.

'It'll be hard. There's no jobs available. None.'

I think it's just going to get worse.

I do, I think this whole country's just going down a hole.

Spend it while I've got it and then once it's gone, it's gone,

but at the moment it's going.

It's Saturday night.

The parks are ready for a spending spree.

-49.30.

-There you go, mate.

MUSIC: "Macarena" by Los Del Rio

And there's entertainment to cater to every market.

Cheers, to the last night of our holidays.

But for single mums Sam and Claire,

Saturday night, like the rest of their holiday...

Cos it was going to be me and Phil...

..is so far proving to be a low-key affair.

I didn't think anyone was going to want to come away with me.

You know, I just thought... Stuck in a caravan with someone.

-It's not exactly glamorous, is it?

-Well, no...

But... God, well, I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself anyway.

Yeah, well, no, thank you, it's been...

SHE SIGHS

Yeah.

They haven't sampled the on-site entertainment,

but the promise of a few laughs is enough to tempt them out.

What's the entertainment going to be like, do you reckon?

-It's mostly comedy.

-I have to warn you, if it's crap, I won't laugh!

But while we're here, comedy, we'll give it a go.

-I could never go to one of these bars and play stupid...

-No, no.

I'm cheap, all right? I'm cheap!

Oh, lordy!

-I've no idea where it is.

-It's down here.

-LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

-That's not a comedian, is it?

That's music! That's not a comedian!

-That's not a comedian.

-Has the comedian been on?

-Is there a comedian, or what is it?

-Just what's on now.

-Oh, right, so no comedians?

-No.

-There's no comedians.

# My life

# Would suck

# Without you... #

-Really?

-Yeah.

We've been here for, what, 15 minutes?

And I think that might be enough for me and Sam.

-Urgh!

-They gave us a free pizza!

Nina, Corine and friends are staying in and saving some money.

-How much was it altogether?

-16.70 for all of it.

-How much was mine, the donner kebab?

-3.90.

-£3.90?

That's a fucking bargain.

-Large one is 4.80.

-That is cheap.

-What do you want, toast or crumpets?

-Crumpets, please.

The Pearsons are also eating in. The caravan cupboard is almost bare.

We spent £4.50 on our drinks tonight

and we spent £6 on a photo of Sparky and the kids.

I think there's probably about 70p left in my purse.

Your one was the one that was chewed!

-We're not going to drink all these, are we?

-Yeah!

Still no sign of a comedian,

but Sam and Claire have decided to go for one last splurge.

No, we don't need men! No, it's a man-free zone, we don't need men.

# Gangnam style

# Gangnam style

# Hey, sexy lady... #

It was quite good it wasn't a comedian, cos when there's a comedian...

-Oh!

-SHE GIGGLES

Oh, my God!

That just looks shite. Sorry, I know I'm back to the curtains, but...

It's time to go home.

That's our holiday finished.

And thoughts are turning to real life.

I'm on 12-hour days when I go back.

Maybe we should stay a bit longer. Can't face the real world.

This was a whole bottle. We've only got about there.

In total, the weekend's cost the Pearsons £236.

So has it all been worth it?

Yeah, I think it's been great value.

The kids have been entertained all the time

and there's been stuff for them to do, so I think it's brilliant value.

Cos this holiday's more about the kids than anything else, so...

It's been really cool.

I've spent about £100, you've spent £100, you've probably spent about...

-And I'm left, in my purse, with 1p.

-I've still got...

-Spent all of it, yeah.

310? £310, I think, for the whole weekend.

So, it's actually been one of our more cost-effective holidays.

Maybe well-off people are well off

because they know how to be good with money.

It looks like the business of creating amazing memories

is going to keep growing.

There are already two million voucher holidays

booked in for this year.

We'll always do voucher holidays -

it just doesn't make sense that we wouldn't.

It's a great way for us to earn money

and I just see the future getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

But many of us still dream of something a little more exotic.

My dream holiday would be definitely in Magaluf.

Mind you, my first holiday away with just friends was probably good...

Best to be here than over there.

Yeah. Cos if I got that homesick where I wanted to go home...

-At least you know it's a drive home.

-Yeah.

Kenya. I'd love to go to Kenya. That would be my dream holiday.

Save enough pennies, or win one, that would be absolutely fantastic.

-Oh, no, you'll be paying!

-I'll be paying!

My preconceptions of this type of holiday have definitely been...

Have changed.

One, two, three...wheee!

But we would love to go back abroad and start taking holidays there again a bit more.

I'd definitely do it again.

No, I'm just thinking... I'm trying to think...

-If we plan it, it might not be the same next time.

-No.

-Cos we've done it.

-Probably pay the extra to upgrade here.

-But what do you get for the upgrade?

-Curtains that match!

-What...?

-Sorry!

Oh, you stupid slag!

Really excited to go home! Really excited! I've missed my mum.

Bye!

ALL: Bye!

Least you didn't smash anything, or get arrested!

Bit tired, though.

More tired after the holiday than I was before it started!

Believe it or not,

I actually went to college to do an air cabin crew course.

I actually wanted to be a policewoman.

"Your exits are here, here and here!" Yeah.

"Please follow the white lines!"

Another one done.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd