Truth Life and Death Row

This programme contains some strong language and scenes which some viewers may find disturbing.

How do you cause that kind of pain to another human being?

I don't get it.

I was there. I saw what he looked like. I saw what they did to him.

This wasn't just a burglary.

Their plan from the beginning was to kill somebody.

There are only three people who know what happened in that room,

one of whom is dead.

You've got to take the story that makes the most sense.

Waynesville is a small town.

The community itself's very tight knit.

They're known for their shops, their antique stores

and people that live there usually know their neighbours.

They kind of look out for each other.

It's country. It's small-town America.

You could leave your bike laying out in the yard.

You didn't have to worry about your kids all the time, you know.

We barely locked our doors.

RECORDING PLAYS

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I got home about 7:25 in the evening. And the house was dark.

And things just didn't feel right.

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I went in the bedroom to start taking off my uniform

and I asked Sandy, "Did you move the jewellery box?"

"Your jewellery box has gone." I said, "No."

And he's like, "I think we have been robbed."

So he's like, "The safe. My gun!"

The deputy that went out there that night believed that at first this was a burglary.

Then as he spoke with Mark and Sandy Cates,

he started realising

there were some things that didn't add up to a burglary.

The kitchen table is pushed against the wall.

There's rugs missing from the kitchen.

And we're thinking, who would steal rugs? Why would somebody take that?

When Mark came back, Justin wasn't with him.

I'm like, "Where's Justin?" He was like, "I don't know."

I was like, "OK, something's not right."

So then the police get here.

And so they are thinking there's drugs involved. You know,

18-year-old kid, stealing from Mum and Dad, there's drugs involved.

Well, that changed soon...soon.

Because I was sitting on the love seat

and then I noticed that there were pink smudges on the carpet.

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I was like, "What is that?"

And he was like, "Ma'am, you're overreacting.

"If it's blood, there would be a lot more of it."

I said, "No, what I'm telling you is, that wasn't there when I left."

Talking with one of the neighbours, they told us that

they had seen a Chevy Cavalier in the driveway during the day.

The description of this car was a silver car

with a busted-out back window

with plastic in the window with red tape

and a certain bumper sticker on that car.

That car, Mark remembered seeing at the home the day before.

Well, the day before everything happened,

I saw a car in the drive that I didn't recognise.

And I came on in and there were two guys sitting here,

in the living room.

Justin said, "Mark, this is Austin and Tim."

He said, "You remember Austin, right?"

Well, back when Justin was in eighth grade, him and Austin were friends.

Austin and Justin played football together.

But Tim didn't know Justin.

So our next step was to begin to identify who Austin was...

..and who Tim was.

And his neighbouring jurisdiction, they knew 'em.

I knew Austin and Timmy.

About four years, they were students at our high school.

So I saw them about every day.

Timmy would go out of his way to say hi and asked me questions

and talk to me.

He was very outgoing, social, lots of friends.

Austin was a little different.

He wasn't as social.

He was hard to get to know.

And never really engaged in conversation like Timmy would.

I don't know... I thought they were best friends.

But they hung around in school.

We put out the car description.

Probably within an hour to two hours

we were told that local jurisdiction had stopped that car

and they actually had Austin Myers and a Tim Mosley with him.

That was kind of our big break.

They were taken in and the first round of stories, both of them lied.

They said they did not know where Justin was.

They had no idea where he would have been and hadn't seen him.

Tim Mosley didn't want to talk to us and then we tried to talk

with Austin, and he tells us he'd rather speak to an attorney.

So we stopped.

At Justin's home,

we decided we were going to cut that carpeting out.

And that's what we did.

And once we cut that carpeting and able to pull those layers back,

and get into the sub floor, we were able to see what we knew was blood.

I mean, it was very apparent and quite a bit of it.

But as we pulled it open, you could actually see a much larger

stain that had been soaked into the padding,

and then down below onto the sub flooring of the house.

One of the crime scene deputies notices what

he thinks is also blood that's underneath the refrigerator

and also little specks - very small droplets -

that are on a wood floor in the kitchen.

Once we started seeing those,

we really started getting concerned here.

There's a lot of...

There's more blood here than we realise.

We started thinking maybe this was cleaned up and maybe we need to

try and use the blood reagent to see exactly how much blood is here.

Very easy to use. You spray it on top of things and once you turn the lights down,

it glows.

As soon as you clean it up, you can still see the blood.

I remember that being, um, huge.

You actually see details, because you can see shadows of footprints.

You can see where people are laying.

You can see the way that it was wiped. How they cleaned it up.

You can see all the blood all throughout that kitchen.

Once I saw that, I think all of us, we were in shock, just stunned.

Because you start going from "he's alive" to,

"I hope he is still alive", to, "Oh, no. No, there's too much here."

There's way too much here. It's been cleaned up.

And I remember having a phone conversation with Sergeant Hounshell,

saying, "Justin's dead.

"There's no doubt in my mind, there's too much blood here."

HE TAPS ON WINDOW

Austin, at one point, taps on the glass.

And I go in the room and he says, "I want to talk to you."

You OK?

So we would start talking with him

and that is when he starts laying out what happened.

I used to love the snow. I used to think it was beautiful.

Just how everything's quiet. You know?

It's just different.

And now, just seeing a snow flurry

is like, here we go.

And I think that is why it's so hard right now to...

It's because I know what's coming.

We had some deputies on the ground who were able to go in and actually recover Justin.

Who was found in a wood line.

Very, very brutally... brutally treated.

Um...

I get the question, why do you go out to crime scenes?

You're the prosecutor, there's no need for you.

You have investigators who are the ones

that are responsible for collecting all the evidence.

But I'm the one that is going to have to tell the story of what

happened to Justin Back.

I was there. I saw what he looked like.

I saw what they did to him.

They had basically dumped him next to a large fallen tree.

It was brutally cold.

Even at one or two in the afternoon, it was still between ten

and 15 degrees below zero Fahrenheit.

So his body was frozen in the position in which it was dumped.

I noticed he didn't have shoes on.

For some reason, that bothered me, that he didn't have shoes on.

And in many ways, it didn't look real.

Because as I was looking at him...

he looked like a porcelain doll.

HE SIGHS

What a horrible way to go.

You know, what a horrible way to have your life end up.

We all think of the end of our life and what it's going to be like.

And I don't think anybody thinks they are going to end up

dumped in the middle of a field, where it is 15 degrees below zero.

And certainly no parent would ever expect that something

like that is going to be the final chapter of their child's life.

I was out in my car making a phone call.

And I looked in the rear-view mirror and Sheriff Sims pulled in.

It was not one of the other deputies.

It was the Sheriff.

The instant I saw the Sheriff... I knew it was over.

The Sheriff and I went inside.

Me and Sandy and him sat down at the dining room table.

And...

he proceeded to tell us that they'd found him and he was gone.

Um, the house erupted in tears.

Sandy, Julie, myself...

You know, we all just...

There's no holding that back, you know?

You're not supposed to bury your kids.

I had...

It stole every breath.

You just can't...

I don't know.

Sheriff Sim's words just played on a loop, especially in the beginning.

"Justin's deceased."

I remember just screaming and falling on the floor.

Then you wake up the next morning...

..and you are like, "Oh, my God, we have to bury our son."

SHE EXHALES

The two rooms that we have there at Clayton PD,

they were like holding cells

and Tim was able to hear through the wall.

They go up to the door.

And Justin being the person that is, he invites them in.

He offers them something to drink.

Austin says just out of nowhere, Tim Mosley decides

he's going to get up and take this cable that he's made, or a garrotte

as he called it, and put it around Justin's neck and choke him.

But as he's going over his head,

he doesn't get it all the way to his neck and actually hit his chin.

TV REPORTS: 'We began with breaking news. Two men arrested now for a murder in Waynesville.

'Details are still coming in to us right now.

'This started, though, as a search...

'The victim had been choked.

'He had been stabbed. Eventually shot.

-'Karen, this is so gruesome, we're finding out.

-It is.

'The Sheriff here in Warren County just identified...'

'This is a very brutal murder.

'Far all intents and purposes,

'Justin Back was an innocent victim in this.'

I got a phone call from my ex-wife saying that they thought there was

a burglary done in Waynesville and it was Justin Back's house.

And Justin wasn't there.

And they were thinking Austin had something to do with it.

So, my first thought was, there's no way Austin would have anything to do

with something like that.

About four years ago, was the first time we met Timmy.

Always been respectful to me as could be, but he had a...

..a rough edge to him.

He wasn't gentle.

HE TAPS WALL WITH HIS FOOT

In most cases, the last thing that you want is for one

defendant to know what the other defendant is saying.

But in this case, it actually worked out to our benefit.

HE CONTINUES TAPPING THE WALL WITH HIS FOOT

He decides he's going to come completely clean.

And I think he also believed that Austin was throwing him

under the bus.

No-one believed it. No-one believed it at all.

And I was just like, and when I heard it, my heart sank. I was like,

"That's not my son.

"You know, he is not capable of doing that." So...

Tim couldn't confess quick enough.

Once he started, he couldn't do it quick enough.

He went through ten, 12, 15 glasses of water.

He was talking that quickly to get this information out.

And it wasn't as if the things that he was taking

responsibility for were beneficial to him.

So when you're looking at who's telling the truth and who isn't,

you look at those kind of factors.

He told us he was the one that put the cable, the garrotte,

around Justin's neck.

He told us he was the one that panicked

and started stabbing him, but he says Austin had come up with this.

This was Austin's idea.

Tim is telling you everything he knows as quick as he can.

Austin is thinking. "How am I going to get out of this?

"How do I make this better? What do they know? What can I pin on Tim?"

The first time Austin came here, they came to pick something up.

There were going to a friend of theirs house,

probably to play PlayStation or something.

And I had this vibe, I just did NOT like him.

When Timmy came home that night, I told him

I want him to stay away from him.

The problem was that Austin contradicted himself multiple times,

so what was Austin's version of the events? Which version?

There are only three people who know what happened in that room,

one of whom was dead, and that was Justin Back.

So that so that left Austin Myers and Timothy Mosley.

So at that point, it's one person's word against another.

The body of 18-year-old Justin Back was found

Wednesday in Prebble County, stabbed, beaten and shot to death.

But tonight's memorial wasn't about his death,

but to remember Justin's brief but special life.

Heard nothing but good things about Justin.

He was an amazing kid, I think.

Very driven, knew what he wanted in life.

By all accounts, he was a great son.

And in like two weeks, he was set to go to the Navy.

And to describe him as being the perfect kid - I think he was!

And he was loved by a lot of people.

Mark and Sandy Cates were going to hear how Justin was murdered.

And I didn't want the courtroom to be the first place for them

to hear that information.

So I basically walked them through the story, and...

..that was, that was the most difficult thing

I've ever done in my career. Ever.

I'll never see him get married.

I'll never hold my grand-baby.

SHE SOBS

All from one choice.

This is Justin.

From Waynesville, Ohio!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And I blame myself because I couldn't protect him.

And it makes me feel like I let it happen.

All I know right now is loss.

And that angers me.

The heartbreak of a community.

Tonight in Waynesville they grieved the death of murder victim

Justin Back.

Choked, stabbed, shot...

When something like this

happens in a place like Waynesville, I think in the community there was

almost an expectation

that it was going to be presented as a capital case.

-REPORTER:

-Small groups of people waved Old Glory as the hearse with

the American flag-draped casket drove through the streets.

You do hear a lot of people calling for blood.

You do hear people saying that they just know they're guilty

because of the desire to make somebody pay.

I needed to make the decision, is this the kind of case

that I think my community believes warrants the death penalty?

Is this so heinous a crime?

Because as the prosecutor, I can stop it

right from the outset.

And so this is the most difficult decision that a prosecutor makes.

It's a senseless crime. It's a senseless killing.

If you're really looking for money,

you're going to go in and kill somebody?

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Wait till everybody's gone.

The kid's going into the military in a week.

Dad works, Mum works.

Break into the house after they're gone. You may never get caught.

There was a brutal murder.

And I think people just kind of get to the point where they just

see a really good narrative and they say, "That makes sense".

The first time I met Austin, what was striking about him

was how young he was.

And certainly he is a very intelligent person,

very well read, very well spoken.

So it was really hard to reconcile these charges,

cos it's not someone who looks like he's capable of murder.

When I try a case, I view myself as a storyteller.

I'm trying to do the best job that I can to relay to the jury

the story that makes sense.

And in the process, persuade them to find the defendant guilty,

and sentence the defendant to death.

'And one of the two teens accused of killing 18-year-old Justin Back

'could face the death penalty if convicted.

'WLWT 5's Karen Johnson taking us

'inside the Lebanon courtroom for the Austin Myers trial.'

It was very obvious both of them were involved.

The question was, to what extent?

Who was responsible and who made the

choices that led them to this point?

From the beginning of the trial, I'm questioning,

why are we trying to pin this on Austin Myers

when it seems like he's always in the background.

The prosecution's argument was that Austin Myers made all those choices.

That he was the one that chose Justin as the victim

and led Tim Mosley there.

Austin maintained his innocence all along.

From Austin's perspective it unfolded right before him

and it was like watching an accident happen.

There was relatively little evidence that implicated Austin Myers

directly, other than the fact that he was there.

So, you have these two competing stories.

They had Tim.

He admitted to it,

so that's why they focused all their attention on Austin.

They wanted to convict him. They already had Timmy.

But now they wanted Austin.

We have rules of evidence in the country that don't allow us

to use Tim's video recorded confession against Austin,

unless Tim testifies at trial.

My goal was to make sure Austin never got out of prison.

The idea that there was any possibility that he would be

acquitted was just not something I could live with.

And we didn't want to run the risk that if Tim's confession

doesn't come in to Austin's trial,

that the jury doesn't get the complete picture of what happened.

My best shot at getting a conviction against Austin Myers was

to do something that allowed Tim's statement to come in at trial,

and the only way for that to happen was for me

to do a plea agreement with Tim.

Two to three weeks before Austin's trial begins,

I get a call from the prosecutor

telling me that Tim Mosley has agreed to a plea deal,

to accept a sentence of life without the possibility of parole,

in exchange for him coming in and testifying against Austin.

So we met with Austin.

We told him in no uncertain terms this does not look good.

I said, "You need to let me try to work a deal for you."

Austin said, "No."

Austin did say, "If there is a 1% chance that I could be free,

"then I want to take that chance."

There was absolutely no remorse from Austin Myers for what he did.

And so really for me,

it came down to Tim agreeing to take responsibility for what he had done.

I don't really think he knows how it all happened.

I believe Austin planned it out.

And whoever he would have gotten

to do his muscle work, Austin

planned it out and knew damn well what he was getting ready to do.

It's just he pulled my son into it, too.

A lot of Timmy's friends said

Timmy didn't know what was going to happen.

But then why did you let Austin talk you into it?

Today on the witness stand, Timothy Mosley testified that

Austin Myers believed there was

20,000 in a safe belonging to Justin Back's parents.

Mosley explained that Myers came up with the idea to kill Back,

who was just a short time away from going into the Navy.

Like that? That's my son's room.

His trophies - football trophies, basketball trophies.

They're still up there. He's got his bed, his clothes, got his shoes.

Still where he left them.

I used to go into Timmy's room a lot.

But it was hard.

You know, I used to sit there and cry, it was just...

You only have about 9-12 months to do that

and then you've got to get on with it.

God, it's a mess in here!

I know I can't even yell at him for it.

"Timmy, clean up your room."

You don't know what your kids are doing.

I guess I didn't know he was into drugs.

I did know he was depressed.

There was a point in time where he was depressed.

And I found that out one night when he wouldn't talk to me

and I went in there and he'd sliced his arm all up.

And there was blood everywhere.

It stays that way.

Nobody goes in there any more.

Unless I feel down and out, then I go in there.

Timmy left me a note.

It said, "I'm sorry.

"I didn't mean for this to happen.

"I wish I could go back and change it."

And, um, "I love you, Mom."

He wanted to go to California and work.

And then he wanted to join the Marines.

And that didn't happen.

Cos I didn't buy the plane ticket.

Should have!

Could have.

Didn't.

If I had bought it, he wouldn't have been here.

Then he wouldn't be in this mess and he wouldn't be away for life.

'Timothy Mosley matter-of-factly described today how he says

'he and Austin Myers killed 18-year-old Justin Back.'

We knew, going in,

that Tim Mosley had made a deal.

That he was going to face life in prison in exchange

for his testimony,

and it kind of made me suspect everything he was saying.

We're taking Tim's word -

who's a confessed killer - that this is what it was.

And that was hard for me.

Whether you want to believe Tim as to all of it, or not,

really wasn't the issue.

He gave us a narrative to be able to view Austin Meyers' conduct.

They had gone to a Dollar General store and bought ammonia...

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..just in case they needed to clean up any DNA evidence or

anything that they might leave.

They also bought latex gloves and they bought septic tank enzymes.

I originally kind of thought he was just a bystander, but

obviously as it went on, he was less a bystander and more involved.

And more of the driving force behind what happened.

They pretty much just said that he

was like the mastermind of it.

You'd be hard-pressed to find a case where there was more

prior calculation than what you had in this particular case.

We had all the evidence.

We had the video recordings where he's going in

and purchasing the murder weapon.

We have the video of them

going in to Pat's Place right before they go to the house.

We have the video of them driving to the house.

In the jury room we talked a lot about the fact that he has

gotten the supplies at the hardware store to make the wire.

To the very end, I questioned that,

did they really intend to kill him with that?

But one of the biggest moments in the trial for me was

when they started doing the autopsy.

And they showed pictures of where they found the body.

The fact that Austin was the one that shot Justin's body

after the fact.

He had no respect or no feelings in regards to it.

So I think that those things kind of started turning my perspective.

I prosecute a lot of people who do a lot of bad things, all right?

And there are a lot of people that I prosecute who do evil things.

But there are very few people who I would describe as being pure evil.

And Austin's one of them.

I've got pictures of Justin in here.

Originally I was like, "I won't ever go back in that house.

"I don't want anything to do with that house."

But I can imagine Justin coming through the back door

and coming through around the corner, "Hey, Mom!"

You know, I can still see that.

He's still here. I feel him here.

Like the other day, I went into his bedroom.

When I opened up the door, there's his bed and I could see him

laying in his crazy sleep positions.

And, um, that made me smile.

Because for that brief moment, they're there.

Give me a minute.

SHE SOBS

Everybody has their own agenda.

Tim Mosley had his own agenda, which at trial was to save his life.

And if there was a plan, it was to render Justin Back

unconscious and ransack the house.

And that was going to be it.

And I think that Tim Mosley lost control and went nuts.

And I don't think Austin Myers had any idea Tim Mosley was going

to pull out a knife and was going to start stabbing Justin Back.

They'd definitely just talked about Austin being this evil manipulator

mastermind and early on we learned

that Timmy actually killed Justin.

They didn't emphasise that.

No, they would say, "THEY killed Justin".

They would call them by the wrong names.

They would get everything mixed up and always,

always the spotlight would be on Austin.

I don't know why.

Even when Timmy is there saying what he did, this violent,

horrific thing that he did, OK,

they would just ignore that part.

They acted like he was, "Oh, he was just so helpful to us",

and "he was just such a good guy" kind of.

It just seemed like a witch-hunt

from the get-go

and they wanted to paint a picture a certain way to get

two convictions out of whatever had transpired.

Even Timmy said that Austin didn't know that he had the knife,

that Austin thought he was punching him instead of stabbing him.

And that when he finished stabbing Justin,

Timmy looked over at Austin who was sitting on the floor in shock.

That, to me, kind of drove it home that there was no plan to kill him.

No plan to murder anybody.

It's an absurdity to me that people would find Timothy Mosley credible.

But a lot of people want to impute a lot of meaning

to how they acted when they were in the cells.

And Austin's demeanour was something

that was raised time and time

and time again.

When I was in the room with Austin,

talking to him, there was just nothing.

It was like you would look at him, he was just shallow.

They say this, the eyes are the window to the soul.

When you look in Austin's eyes, there is no soul.

I think his lack of emotion was used against him,

which labelled him as a psychopath from the moment

that the police had contact with him, to picking him up and going

through the interview process and sitting in court and all that.

Yeah, I think it was held against him.

Austin's not generally one to let his emotions hang on his sleeve.

Yeah, if someone's insulting him or attacking him,

he tends to appear emotionless.

That's probably partially my fault.

I've taught my kids that letting your emotions react for you

generally doesn't work out well.

He is a product of his environment.

From what everyone told me, including his family,

once his parents got divorced everything changed for him.

His whole attitude, his demeanour, his appearance completely changed.

But I don't think he's a cold, heartless person, I really don't.

I think it's just his personality.

-AUSTIN:

-I can only imagine the pain and loss

felt by Mark and Sandy Cates.

I have brothers and sisters myself,

I can only imagine what it would be like to lose one of them.

I'm sorry that this happened.

And I know that doesn't bring Justin back. But I'm sorry.

I don't think Austin knew how to act.

He was trying to hold himself together and be strong

and here he is, in this courtroom,

and he's surrounded by people who hate his guts.

They hate him with all their being.

If you choose for me to die, it's only going to cause more pain

and suffering.

For another family.

I think that he really was trying to guilt the jury

into not giving him the death penalty.

There was no remorse.

He doesn't really show a lot of remorse. I never saw that from him.

I wish that he would have shown a little bit remorse.

It probably would have helped me a little bit.

It won't hurt me, I won't feel anything.

It's going to hurt more innocent people.

It was not the demeanour of somebody who was upset or traumatised

or remorseful.

It was the demeanour of a serial killer.

Austin Myers took the stand and asked the jury

to spare his life, not for himself, but for his family.

Now the prosecution, though, says that he deserves death

for killing Justin Back.

Why should Austin Myers get the death penalty from this jury

when Tim Mosley - the person who struck the fatal blow -

got life without parole?

Here's why.

Tim co-operates, Austin doesn't.

Tim tells the truth, Austin lies.

Tim tries to come in here and testify and take ownership

of everything that happened, Austin blamed the jurors.

In my head I think I blame Austin more than I do Tim.

And I know that sounds wrong

because Tim was the one who actually stabbed him.

But the words that the prosecutor kept using was Austin was

the murderer, Tim was just his weapon of choice.

I do have more of a hatred for Austin than I do Tim

because Austin knows Justin.

Mosley never met Justin previous to the day before.

A death penalty riding on the decision of a Warren County jury this evening.

Jurors, in fact, are still deliberating at this time

in the murder trial of Austin Myers.

I saw the jury foreman handing over the paper and her hand was shaking.

The jury walks back in.

And when I looked at them, I knew what they were going to say, before they said it.

I could just tell - they weren't looking at me.

But still you're thinking, well, surely not.

Even though I just kind of knew.

And then they said it and I just...

We therefore unanimously find the sentence of death be

imposed upon Austin Myers.

Austin Myers sat stoically when he heard the jury's decision.

His mother couldn't hide her feelings as well.

Er, Justin's family was very happy about the verdict.

Which, if you're for the death penalty, then I mean, that's their son they're trying to vindicate.

You know, I don't hate them for that.

But it just breaks my heart.

Oh!

Oh...

I didn't react the way that I thought that I would.

I was happy.

But again it's the shock and it's like...

"Is this for real?"

You know?

"Is this really for real?"

You know, it's my boy.

Sorry.

But I had to explain to them why is it worth him even existing.

Like, he should be exterminated?

He didn't do this.

Outside the court room,

Justin Back's family walked silently to the media.

It meant that...

..one day it'll be over.

I don't see how anybody could have looked at that evidence

and concluded anything other than Austin Myers planned to

kill his childhood friend.

The defence walked out of the courtroom with no comment.

Do I think that Austin Myers is the worst of the worst given

the fact that he was a compliciter and not the principal offender?

Absolutely not.

So, does he deserve the death penalty? No, no.

Because if Austin Myers is the worst of the worst,

then Tim Mosley is 100 times worse than Austin Myers

and he took a deal and he got life in prison.

You have to be able to live with yourself for being part of that...

that process.

But I am able to do that.

The trial was, I think,

an interesting study in human psychology because it was

a collective human response relative to a tragedy in the community.

Austin Myers being sentenced to death

and Timothy Mosley getting life make no sense.

Because the trial is supposed to be based on a reason and not emotion.

I would love to be able to tell you what the deciding factor was for me.

But I just remember it was like a switch in my head of,

"You know what, this is the right thing to do."

I sat through the trial and watched them paint whatever

picture they wanted to paint and they didn't bother to get to the truth.

And all these people want your son dead

because they don't care about the truth.

If Austin Myers had come to me and said,

"I will do life without patrol" -

he had taken responsibility for his actions,

he had not put Justin Back's family through that trial -

I don't know what I would have done.

I don't know.

He never took responsibility

and so at the end of the day, he got what he deserved.

The whole situation now is just heartbreaking.

You can't even stop to think about it, OK?

Because you would be crushed and devastated every minute.

Her boy's just gone. And I hate it.

I would do anything for that to not be true.

I can't stop having hope that something will get resolved here

and I can't even let myself imagine anything other than an execution.

My brain won't go there.

I still can't believe it.

I know what happened. I don't believe it.

You think about it every day.

And it plays in your head every day, drives you crazy.

I try not to look too far ahead.

The future don't look too good.

My future? Driving down twice a month to see my son.

And it will be forever.

Yup. I will go down there every two weeks forever.

God, I miss you.

It makes no sense, and I think that's the hard thing for people

to wrap their heads around.

There was no reason for this to destroy three families.

I would like to go to the site where they took Justin.

I wasn't there.

And it really bothers me that he was there by himself all night.

Even though it was just his body.

It would be nice to pay my respects there.

Just to say goodbye.

Um, just doing what I can to move on.