Table Dancing Diaries

THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME NUDITY

MUSIC: "Howlin' For You" by The Black Keys

# All right

# Yeah

# Well now

# Mockingbird, can't you see

# Little girl's got a hold on me

# Like glue

# Baby, I'm howlin' for you

# Yeah

# Yeah, da-da-da-da-da

# Da-da-da-da-da

# Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da

# Da-da-da-da-da

# Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da

# Da-da-da-da-da. #

PHONE RINGS

Good afternoon, Secrets.

Yeah, you just need to bring your passport,

a long dress to dance in, preferably not see-through.

And ring us back and let us know what we are doing

before the auditions start please.

OK, thank you. Bye.

You've got the auditions coming up now.

What are you hoping to find in the auditions, what girls?

Loads of girls that want to work. We're coming into a busy time now

and there's nothing worse than

customers going into a club and there's not enough girls.

If you go to Sainsbury's and there's no food on the shelves, you won't go back there.

You can't say what type of girls cos you don't know what will come in the door.

I'd love them to be all sort of six foot two, or legs up to their ears

but it doesn't always work like that.

The biggest issues you take up with them, with regards to their look,

having a bit too much to drink is definitely the weight

because when they come here they start drinking champagne

and I always say to them, "You've got some champagne cellulite there.

"I think we need to get that off a bit."

I try to do it very tactfully.

We're not brutal.

We're just honest, because if we get them looking right

they'll earn more money which means they'll be happy with me.

There's no point me saying, "You can work and you're overweight"

and then they're crying when they're not earning any money.

So we have to make sure that we tailor them to what we want,

without being too cruel.

We're in show business.

You've got to glamorise and get yourself sorted.

Hi, you here to audition, darling? Come up the stairs, please.

Looks like we're going to get some auditions now.

If you'd like to follow me.

Right, my name is Joy

and I look after all the girls that dance at Secrets.

Today what you're going to do

is do a single track for me, dance to a single track.

When you feel comfortable with your dancing,

you are to take your dresses off

but please do not take your knickers off.

I don't want to see any of that at all.

I've seen enough anyway. Right.

Secrets has a certain image that it likes its girls to have

and we are really, really particular about that.

We like you to look really pretty and lovely

because basically these guys that are going to come in here, OK,

and you want them to spend a lot of money on you,

you need to look like you're top dog.

So you all smell nice and look nice and lovely

and you're not moaning "Oh, it's my period today."

You know what I mean? They don't want any of that.

If you can, get a good knowledge of what is going at the moment

especially the things men like.

Football, rugby, the economy.

I'm not asking you to be brain surgeons but just to hold some nice general conversations with them.

Don't ask them if they're married.

If they tell you they're married and want to talk about their wives, that's fine.

You don't tell them you're married, you've got kids or you're engaged.

Whatever you do on the street is entirely up to you

but in here you have to conform to what we want.

When we audition, Sam and I can usually tell straight away

whether she's going to be right for us.

They have to have a reasonable figure, they have to be toned.

Long hair, red nail varnish.

-Facially they have to look pretty too.

-Yeah.

If the girl isn't facially pretty the guy won't have her.

Got a lovely figure.

# They say she low down

# The baddest thing around town

# She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before... #

-She's fine.

-See if I can get her to smile.

# I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl

# Without being disrespectful... #

You can smile if you like. That's better, see.

You've got to look like you're enjoying it.

-Nice little bust.

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much. That was lovely.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Right, who wants to go next, ladies? Do you want to go, honey?

Also if you can not talk while the other girls are on stage.

It's off-putting, especially if they've never it before.

All right, ladies.

# I might be bad, boy I'm perfectly good at it... #

-Not sure about the shoes.

-I'm not sure about the shoes.

This one needs decent lipstick and make up, more theatrical.

And men like red lipsticks, cos of the kissing aspect of it.

And when she dances she needs to pull in her tummy and tone up.

# Sticks and stones may break my bones

# But chains and whips excite me... #

-That's fine, thank you very much darling.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

OK, ladies, you were all successful.

Whoooooo!

-Give yourselves a round of applause.

-Whooooooooo!

When you arrived we asked you to read all of this, OK?

All of these pages is our code of conduct.

That is all our rules and regulations.

If you have not read it I need you to read it before you leave today.

I'll go through some of them to make it completely clear

so you know exactly what you can and cannot do

when you're dancing for the customer.

No breasts can touch the customer's face at any time.

Yeah, you understand that?

No sliding up or down the customer's body or grinding.

Anyone not know what grinding is?

You all know what grinding is? You don't?

You can not sit on the customer

and you sort of wiggle or you rub yourself on the customer.

You can not do that at any time, OK?

There is no friction between you or the customer

-and no masturbating. Do you all know what that is? Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

So, don't think, because I can't touch him,

what I'll do is I'll touch myself. You cannot do that, OK?

You cannot dance with another dancer.

You certainly can't touch her up. You cannot kiss another dancer

or do a lesbian act or finger your friend. OK?

Um, no selling of sexual favours. That means no prostitution.

Please don't do it, you'll be in lots of trouble.

Any bitchiness, obviously we're not silly, there's alcohol and men involved.

Some arguments happen, but we resolve them very quickly. We don't get a lot of bitchiness in our venues,

considering there's six and there's over 400 girls, that's quite an accomplishment.

-Did you understand everything OK?

-Yeah.

-Good.

-I did.

-Right, this is the first lady through.

-Hi, take a seat.

-That's all her forms filled out.

-Right, you were lovely, you were good.

Thank you very much for helping us out. What's your stage name, please?

Denise, I want to be Denise.

-Denise. D-E-N-I-S-E. Yeah.

-Yeah.

That's where you ring on Monday to book your shifts for next week.

This is a mobile for you to text if you're with someone that doesn't know you're dancing.

-You know we don't have see through. We don't like men to see your nipples.

-Yes.

-We'd rather the man pays to see them.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Not to see them through the dress.

-Thanks very much for all your help today.

-That's it? Thank you very much.

Thank you, we're seeing you tomorrow. We'll be down there tomorrow.

-Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow then, bye.

-OK, thank you. Bye, bye.

Right, stage name, what's your stage name?

-Harley.

-Carly?

-Harley.

-Harley?

-Yeah.

-Ley or Li.

-Ley.

-That's fine.

-You're not a drinker.

-No, I'm not.

-Be very careful because if you start drinking

it can go right across there, champagne cellulite.

What you need to do is keep your tummy toned. Do a few sit ups,

-otherwise you're perfect.

-I do that anyway.

-And when would you like to start?

-Whenever.

-Sorry?

-Whenever.

-Whenever. You're that desperate for money, are you?

Have you married, kids or anything?

-No.

-Oh wise, wise girl.

Thank you. I'm sure you'll do well with us. It's nice.

-Your hair's lovely.

-Oh, thank you.

-Don't have it cut.

-So, this is the first time you've auditioned?

-Yeah, the first time ever.

I've never done something like this before. So it's really new to me, yeah.

What was it that made you want to audition? Why do you want to work as a table dancer?

I saw... One of my friends does it, she's like really good.

The money's good, the clients are nice, you meet new friends, the people are lovely.

Like it's a good experience. So I thought I might as well try it.

I haven't got anything going for me, no work.

I didn't get a very good education.

Yeah, I thought it'd be something to make money and to meet new people.

Any concerns about how the men might be?

I think I'll be able to deal with them fine.

It's just like going out really. If a man gropes you and stuff, you're just like,

"Oh get off." Like it's just the same thing really.

You're out clubbing, apart from you're naked. So, yeah, it should be all right.

What did you think of Harley?

She's OK, she'll do well. She needs to keep an eye on her weight,

-but we talked to her about that.

-Yeah.

-She's got a nice personality.

-And a good look.

-And she's what I call voluptuous.

-The city guys like that.

-She'll be able to handle them.

-Yeah.

-She didn't seem too soft or meek.

Denise I liked.

-We loved her.

-We liked her, yes.

-She was just cute and sweet.

-Yes, and she'll do well.

-Bubbly.

-She'll be good.

-She'll earn good money.

-She'll be a worker. I think she'll do a few nights.

-Yeah.

-Well, they do.

-Yeah.

Eastern Europeans don't mind working six nights a week.

-Yeah, they graft.

-Yeah, they do.

A lot of Eastern Europeans come with funny names and we have to say...

Like they have names like Fanny and we say you really can't use that.

And one girl wanted to be Moon and we said no,

that kind of means something a bit rude over here, if you moon someone,

and she said no, you have one called Star and Summer and Sunny.

They don't understand. It's hard to explain that a name is important.

But you don't want anything too strange cos the customer will say that's not your real name.

Is it harder to earn money in Romania?

Yeah, much harder than here.

You can't find a proper job like for normal money,

for good money, to live.

It's not possible. Hard life.

So what do your family think about you table dancing?

They're not really happy but they accept.

What did your mum say when you told her?

Oh, she was really like, "Oh my God, how could you do that?"

And then she came down. She was fine.

And what about your Dad? What did he say?

Oh. My Dad didn't say nothing.

He was shy probably or...

He never say nothing.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Yeah, I have.

He's a bit jealous.

But he met me when I was doing this so I'm not going to stop.

What does he get jealous about?

Other men seeing me naked.

I would like to get married in time, like every woman does.

Have kids, my own business probably, my own house, my own car.

A normal life.

Is table dancing a normal life?

No. It's not.

I'm here to make money, go back to Romania,

pay for my college to become a teacher. Kids' teacher.

MUSIC: "Ain't Nobody" by Claire Maguire

You all right?

I'm Denise, nice to meet you.

-James.

-James, and you?

-Dave.

-Dave and James.

-Yeah.

-I like your piercing, interesting.

-Thank you.

-This is my first night.

-Oh right, OK. Fair enough.

-And I'm a bit er...

-Nervous?

-Not nervous.

I'm a bit like, er, you know, ready for it.

Are you? That's good.

-Whereabouts are you from?

-Have a good guess.

A good guess. Ukraine?

-No.

-Romania.

-Ah, there you are.

-Ah.

Geographical legend, mate.

I think it's time for a dance.

-What do you think?

-Absolutely fine.

You could never tell that it was your first day.

-Here we go.

-Really?

-Never. Never.

Well, in this club it is.

-What a pro.

-It is?

-It is.

I'm guessing this is your first pay cheque for tonight?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

You like?

-So how's my dance? Did you enjoy?

-Definitely.

-Very, very, very good.

Good. All right, guys.

Takes courage for a girl to stand in front of a guy

-and take her clothes off.

-Definitely.

You can meet a normal girl...

I know I wouldn't be taking my clothes off for money.

Yeah, and they've got to do it ten times a night or more.

I've got a lot of respect for them.

What's more important then, the face or the body?

-It's the body.

-It's the body, isn't it?

-Yeah. Yeah.

So do you actually look at their faces very much?

He does cos he sits there and like look lovingly in their eyes

-and gives them deep conversation and falls in love.

-Yeah.

-He does fall in love.

-Cheers, mate. Yeah, it's all right.

Do you ever come with girlfriends?

-I personally haven't, no.

-No.

It's not cheating, you know.

You're handing over money so...

but, I could see some girls actually reacting badly to it.

So what do you actually get out of it, having a table dancer?

-An empty wallet?

-Yeah, that's it, definitely!

What about the customers? How much money do they spend?

We've got some that spend four, £5,000 a night,

-we've got some that spend £30,000 a night.

-£30,000?

Mm-hm. On the girls, Champagne.

The wealthy boys that come in here are just such nice people,

you know, and the fact that they spend lots of money is even better.

What do you think really makes a successful table dancer?

The dress is what can make a girl or break a girl.

If she hasn't got a good dress that fits well, she can look awful.

I work very hard with my girls.

I give my girls credit when they need to buy dresses because,

some of them haven't been doing it long enough to get a decent dress.

And without a decent dress they're not going to feel part of the team.

I love my dresses and my girls love my dresses.

It's like party time. It's like being like Cinderella.

When a girls starts, and they want to look at my dresses,

I say, right, what do you like about yourself?

I say do you like your hair, your legs, your bust,

your arms, your bum?

Then I say what don't you like and they might say, my tummy or the tops of my legs.

Then I can pick them a dress I think will suit them.

Cos I'd have looked at their bust.

It's all right to have padded cups but there's nothing worse,

when a girl's dancing for you and she's doing this with her dress on

and then the guy gets all excited and then you take away that

and there's nothing there.

I'd rather say, don't play with your breasts, forget them,

but turn round and maybe show him your bum or your long legs

or flick your hair and show your best assets.

If you pick on your best assets, that makes her feel comfortable

in what she does and so she'll dance better.

-Do the customers like the dresses?

-They do, yeah.

-Yeah.

-It's not sleazy, it's good,

it's Champagne, the girls look a million dollars.

If the girls look expensive,

guys feel like it's maybe something they can't have.

-And guys always want that.

-Yeah.

We've even had guys ask if they can get dresses made for their wives,

so I've had to get one or two made for their wives cos they think they're so nice.

I'll be so much better once I've got my first dance out of the way.

It's just first days, I hate them, when you don't know anyone.

I'm just trying to keep cool.

Cos I don't know what to expect really. Oh, my god.

Everything's just going through my mind, I'm so nervous, sorry.

-All right babe?

-Hiya, how are you?

-Good. How you feeling?

-Very nervous.

-Are you?

-So nervous.

Is it your first night tonight?

Yeah. I've done my audition.

How did your audition go?

-Really well, I enjoyed it.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it was good.

But now it'll be around people and I just don't know what to expect.

Don't worry, cos you're starting in a nice club like this,

it's known for being like a family in here.

Everyone gets on, it's not like you're in competition with everyone.

Everyone's friends out of here as well.

-That sounds nice.

-You might get harassed by girls that like girls.

-Really?!

-I'm kidding.

They might see you and go, "My God, she's hot, let's go",

-and be quite flirty, but yeah.

-It's all right. I don't mind.

What made you do this job?

-What made you audition?

-I haven't got anything going for me

and my mum was like "Think what you want to do with your life"

and I was like, "I'm still young and I want to have a bit of fun".

It's like you're just buzzing the whole night, yeah, it can be fun.

Yeah, this place - if these walls could talk, oh, my God!

Are you nervous about your first dance?

Yeah, very nervous about that. Cos I'm really clumsy as well.

-I might fall over myself.

-Really?

And I'll just look like an idiot. I don't know...

I'm trying to just not think of the bads and think of the positive.

It's all positive here. The only negative thing is if you talk to a guy that has no money.

But there are some you might talk to and think, "This guy's rubbish, I'll make no money",

then out of the blue he pulls something out of his hat

-and you're getting paid a minimum of £300 an hour.

-Yeah.

So you never know. I think your first night might be really good.

-Have a drink.

-Yeah.

-Have one little drink, relax,

relax a bit, yeah. Yeah, but you'll feel good, trust me.

MUSIC: "Sixteen" by The Heavy

It was really nerve-wracking at first

but you get into it and it's fine. You find your confidence.

It was a lot better than what I thought it was gonna be.

And I'm not feeling as nervous of what I've got to do.

Just enjoyed dancing really

and making someone happy really. It's good.

It's like a different kind of world in that club.

Like when you're working it's the whole fantasy element thing.

The guys think that, you know, there's something there, you know.

Everyone's looking at you, everyone's fancying you.

When I first started that's what I wanted,

that's what attracted me to it all in the beginning.

Now it's the money. There's nothing else apart from the money,

otherwise I wouldn't be doing it.

It's better than anything I could probably do during the day

because I didn't get good grades at school. I wanted to sing and dance

and prance about when I was at school. So, yeah...

There you go. Look.

Where did you meet Zach's dad?

In the club.

And did you sort of fall in love?

Yeah, I did. We got together outside and I got to know him,

we were really good friends and we were going out for dinner

and lunch and stuff and then... I wouldn't see him in the club,

it'd be outside the club, we'd like be together

and then it just went on from there really.

How long were you together for?

Erm... I don't know, I can't remember, about three years?

How did you break up?

Erm, I just... just erm, wanted to move on.

It just... It wasn't there for me anymore.

But in a way I'm glad it didn't work cos I'd never have met Simon.

Is it better that you met Simon away from the club?

God, definitely. There's always that thing somewhere down the line

that they'll throw it in your face and say something about

you working there and when they saw you there and the job you do.

Whereas Simon, it's like 100% respect from the beginning.

Come on, you're not going to beat me.

So you're engaged?

Yeah, we are now. I actually um ended up proposing.

After 19 days. We met on Facebook.

I friend-requested him cos I saw a little picture of him

that I thought he looked quite fit and sexy.

How do you feel about your fiancee working as a table dancer?

Well, it's just a job, isn't it?

Everyone has this particular perception of table dancers -

this is what they are, this is what they do.

It doesn't faze me.

I mean, both of us are more faithful than anyone can ever imagine

so I haven't got any reason, any thought to doubt

anything in her at all, anything related to her job.

I do wonder sometimes when he drops me off at work

and I almost feel sorry for him a bit.

Like when he drops me off, I think, if this was the other way round

I wouldn't be so understanding.

-Yeah, but I...

-I'm too jealous. I'd be like,

"You're not going nowhere, sorry. You can walk to work".

As soon as she walks in the door and I drive off,

as far as I'm concerned I don't want to know anything else really.

It's a bit like, "How do you do this babe,

"you must really love me and really trust me".

Don't think about it.

< DOORBELL RINGS

-Hi, Mum.

-Hello Vic. How are you, all right?

-This is mummy.

Hiya, hi guys.

What did you think when Gigi first told you

she was going to do table dancing?

Erm... I cried my eyes out.

What can you do?

I got upset, cos being Greek, you know,

this would really go down well with the Greeks.

But you know, what can you do?

But she makes a noise when...

-Oh no, no, not in there, not in the mouth, Zachy.

-No.

-No, her mouth's been elsewhere. Don't do that.

-She licks her bum.

Have you been to the club to see what it's like?

Yeah, it's a different world.

You go down there, you know what you're expecting to see down there

and then after about ten, 15 minutes, it's like normal.

You know, and the girls there, they're friendly.

Some are mums with a child, no husband

and they're finding it really difficult to survive

and the others are paying their way through universities.

A lot of people do judge table dancers.

They think that what goes on inside the club is disgusting.

It's nothing like that at all.

It's like dead clean.

Nothing like weird or suspicious about it.

I'm studying at university. I am doing dance.

In practical we do like different techniques of contemporary

and also classical ballet.

And we also do academic studies,

like the history of dance and cultures in dance.

Speaking about the muscles

and learning different body parts, how muscles work.

So why did you want to try it?

For the money.

I know it's table dancing, like, you know, doing nude dances,

but it's still dancing.

I love the fact that I get to perform on stage on the pole,

that's the best thing about it.

Is there anything you dislike about it?

There's a lot of waiting around

and long hours, like during the night. Sometimes I finish at 4am

and I've got a lecture at 9am.

It's a bit harsh.

How many nights do you work a week?

The minimum I'll do is about two,

the maximum I'll do is probably four or five.

Sometimes you can make next to nothing,

sometimes you can be earning big money. It's a bit hit and miss.

But the good nights are good.

So what sort of money would you earn in an evening?

On average a couple of hundred a night,

but on a really good night you can earn like a grand.

On a really crap night you can earn like 20 quid.

So without doing table dancing, what would your life be like at uni?

Probably wouldn't be able to eat!

So were you surprised when Dee told you she did table dancing?

I was - I didn't believe it at first, did I? I didn't believe her.

Not really. I was interested, cos I don't know any strippers.

Yeah, I didn't know what to expect, really. Dunno.

Shelly gets right embarrassed if I'm walking round naked. She's like, "I don't want to see your tits."

And, like, she knocks on my room. "Are you naked?

"Cos if you're naked, I'm not coming in."

What's your opinion of table dancing?

Nothing, really - it's just a job. It's just something she does.

Like when anyone works in a shop.

We don't think any different of her cos she does it.

I think now, like, it's more accepted and stuff

and you don't think of it as being degrading, whereas probably the older generation would.

What jobs do you do outside of uni?

I've just got one doing bar work. At the moment, yeah.

Just waitressing.

ASDA. THEY CHUCKLE

Yeah, ASDA.

It's hard times for students - hard times.

Definitely. I mean, I might just do it for the money.

I reckon you would.

No, you try and get me to do it but...

-no.

-Why wouldn't you do it?

-I wouldn't have the guts to, to be honest, no.

-Yeah, I'm not confident enough.

I don't think my mum'd like me to do it.

I think she'd worry about me a lot and...stuff like that.

-My mum would worry as well, I think, yeah.

-What about your mum, Laura?

THEY CHUCKLE

She wouldn't take me seriously if I said that.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

'I do have an alter ego, definitely.

'During the day I'm, like nice, cute, dancing Dee.

'And on a night-time, I'm, like, feisty, sexy, dirty Dee.'

You're not into arm wrestling?

-Naked mud wrestling.

-Oh yeah? What - two girls naked mud wrestling?

-Yeah, two girls.

-Yeah, that's my kind of partying.

Yeah, definitely. A massive bottle of champagne that's about this big.

How could you put a time on that?

Massive bottle of champagne, and we can all drink it and have a party.

And talk about mud wrestling...

with naked women...

with their tits out, and licking...

Licking it off each other.

'Obviously, girls prefer to just sit and chat - you know, it's easy -

'but, like, of course,

'if the customer wants you to dance, you have no choice, cos they're paying for your time.

'If anything, I find it harder to dance for people that are attractive.

'It's kind of, like, cringing,

'like, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

'It's definitely easier dancing for, like the older people. Definitely.

'I try not to think about, like,

"I'm actually naked right now and dancing for a man."

'Not necessarily ignore them, but kind of, like,

'blank it out a little bit.'

It's quite early and it's about one o'clock.

I think I've earned about £100.

Yeah, so far. Which is all right.

What have the customers been like tonight?

Er, like any night, you get some arrogant ones,

you get some really nice ones, you get some pushovers.

Like...hit and miss, really.

-What's a pushover?

-Like, "Oh, do you want to go?"

Like, somebody who doesn't really need a lot of convincing to go for a dance, like.

Someone who's just like, "Yeah," straightaway, like.

Like, splashing the cash and that.

When you're dancing, do they tell you how they want you to dance, or do you do what you want?

No, they just. It's so weird - like, they just sit and they just like gawp, like, "Err."

Like because... It's like they're doing as they're told.

Like, they're sat there, just not touching. I just...

I find the situation funny. Like, I don't know.

It's like you feel some sort of control. It's really weird.

What's a Secrets customer like?

-Well they range from anything, really, don't they?

-Yeah.

Over 18, or over 21 at Covent Garden.

-Your young lads that come for a stag.

-Yeah. And then we get really older people come in.

We've got a guy that comes in just to have a beer and a dance,

and I think he's about 83 and he works out how much he can spend, month to month,

-to come in here and he loves it in here.

-Yeah.

-And he's quite funny.

And we've got a guy in here that's, er, physically handicapped.

-Yeah.

-And he has to speak by a computer. He's in a chair.

-And he's adorable cos he...

-The girls love him.

All of a sudden, his hand flicks and it's touching the girl's bottom.

I say, "Oi!" And he goes, "I can't help it."

And you think, "You know EXACTLY what you're doing."

The girls are fond of him -

he's been coming here years. He's a favourite.

-Do you get many famous people coming in?

-Yes.

-Yeah, we do get some,

-and footballers and things like that, yeah.

-But we don't really like to say.

We can't say, cos they're not going to come back. But we get certain regulars at certain venues.

What do you think about men?

What, men who come in here or men in general?

-Is there a difference?

-Yeah, I think so.

-I think so, too.

-Yes, there is. Er...

Like, I've been married 27 years now

and my husband is the director of the company

and still not had a table dance. And wouldn't want one.

But you let your new husband come in here.

I'd be quite happy for them to dance for him. It's not a problem.

-How would YOU feel if your husband had a table dance?

-It wouldn't bother me. I know the girls,

and to be truthful we see these girls without their make-up.

We sometimes meet their boyfriends and think, "He's a bit of all right!" You know?

That's my husband.

Has your husband ever come in here?

-Yeah.

-Has he ever had a table dance?

Yes. I gave him a birthday treat with two Brazilians,

at the back of VIP.

-How do you choose what girls he has? Do YOU choose them?

-I choose them,

and I find the sexiest and the prettiest.

And I know what he likes so, yeah, I can pick his girls for him.

Yeah. And I don't pick what he likes!

-Do you get many famous people in?

-Yes.

-Who?

Footballers...

Er...tall guys that do TV programmes.

Er, not mentioning any names.

-Is he a big spender?

-No. No, not at all.

In fact, you normally find that the famous don't spend.

-Do the customers pick the girls they'd like?

-They can, or sometimes they say, "Pick my girls,"

and then I've got to find out what they like because I don't want to

put a girl there that isn't going to earn money or they're not going to like.

And most of my customers, I know what they like anyway.

# Will you recognise me

# In the flashing lights?

# I try to keep my heartbeat

# But I can't get it right... #

-Many girls working?

-Yeah, a few of them.

Nice ones, I hope. Perfect. Cool, man. Nice one, thank you very much.

-Thanks.

-Can we get some girls over here?

-OK.

Hello, Smudge.

-Boys' night out?

-Standard.

-It's not often to see you out and about.

-I know, yeah, a weeknight, as well. Don't tell my wife.

HE CHUCKLES

Which one - the first or second or the third?

THEY CHUCKLE

Any of the three.

-Are you ready for the girls yet?

-Yeah.

-Send a couple over?

-Definitely.

-All right. Shout if you want anything.

-Yeah, will do. Cheers, Jane, thank you.

Nice big one to start with.

-Should be.

-Get the juices flowing.

This should be interesting.

-This is Sophia.

-Hello.

Sophia, how are we? How are you doing?

Do you want some more glasses?

-Er, would you like a drink?

-I wish you would.

You can pour yourself. You'll be all right, won't you?

-Are you looking to have a bit of a party?

-It's always a party when I'm around, darling.

-Guys, come on. We've got to cheers. Cheers!

-To happy days.

-Happy days. Cheers, everyone.

-Savage.

Six more.

All right, one by one. You go first.

Do you want a sexy dance?

I do like blonde girls. I'm not going to lie. Sorry.

Thanks very much(!)

Nothing. No, nothing bad, darling.

-Let's have a cheeky dance? I think so.

-Yeah, a little sexy dance.

Go on, then. We're going to go for a dance.

-See you later, guys.

-OK.

-Have fun.

-We're going to have some fun.

MUSIC: "Please Don't Stop The Music" by Rihanna

-Thank you. Thank you. I've only got a card, is that all right?

-Yeah, that's fine.

-I don't have cash.

You can pay by card. Don't worry.

We do get some awkward moments when a guy has brought a client out,

so they've spent a lot of money cos he's trying to impress them,

and then maybe he's done it on his bank card

and then his wife might ring the next day and say, "Hello, what's this? Who's this?"

"What type of club are you?"

And that's awkward.

But we look at it this way - they're grown men. You know, if they've come in here and...

haven't told their wives or been honest, they've got take it on the nose, haven't they?

'And they always think the girls fall in love with them.

'Especially the good-looking ones.

' "I'll be able to take her home. You look and think, "You won't get anywhere near." It's not like that.

'These girls don't come in here for romance. They're looking for money.

They're businesswomen. That's what they're here for.

-That's what they're here for.

-Not for social.

-No. They're here to earn money.

I used to think that I would never do it.

I thought it was cheap and horrible.

But now I mainly think about the money.

I'm just, like, "Yeah, I'm getting £20 for doing this three-minute dance.

How much did you actually earn on your first night?

I made £50, which isn't too bad. But I done quite well last night, as well, yeah.

I made £80, which is quite good.

I don't like just like running up to the men and being like, "Oh, do you fancy a dance?"

I just like to wait for them to come to me. Makes me feel a little bit better...

if they come to me, yeah.

Most men that have come in recently are married.

But I suppose it's just like a little getaway spot for them.

Sometimes it's nice to cut yourself off from, like,

what's real and come into, like, a fantasy world I guess.

Most of them are so honest. They're like, "I've got a wife but, um, I wouldn't mind having,

"like, another life on the side," and they get really spontaneous.

And then I had this other man who was really... He was a bit strange.

"Oh, if you come back to my hotel, I'll treat you so nice."

I'd always say no, but it is flattering, to an extent,

to know they want to spend even more time with you

and they're willing to pay for you to spend time with them.

But I'd rather keep it inside the club.

And what about the future? So what are you going to do when you've stopped working at Secrets?

I really want to be an undertaker, like working with dead people.

It sounds really weird but, er,

it's a job that I've wanted to do for so long. Er...

I just think it's really interesting

and, like, obviously you don't have to put up with any mischief from them,

cos obviously they're not going to talk back to you.

I would want to do the embalming part where you do their make-up

if they're having an open ceremony. Er...yeah, I'd just like,

do their make-up and get them dressed and all dolled up for that, really.

Your granddaughter's just been telling us that she'd like to, er, be an undertaker.

Yes, I know.

How do you feel about that?

Er...I don't know. Er...

considering she's never seen a dead person, er,

I don't think she'd like it all that much. I know I wouldn't.

So, er, I think she should stick to what she's doing now.

Would you rather she did table dancing than undertaking?

Er...

is that what it is, table dancing?

-Table? You're dancing on a table?

-No, they call it table dancing,

-but it's not dancing on a table.

-I thought it was pole dancing, actually.

Yeah, it is. Pretty much, yeah.

It is. All right. I don't mind pole dancing.

As long as she's a good girl.

I was a bit shocked. That's her choice -

that's what she wanted to do - but I'm proud of her. Very proud.

And she enjoys it. And if she enjoys the job that you're doing, then go for it.

-Yeah.

-If you've got it, flaunt it.

Yeah, she's got the perfect little figure.

-Thanks.

-Yeah.

Do you think there's a stigma attached to girls that dance naked for money?

Yeah, I think there is. I think a lot of people think it's...

-dirty that they're earning money the way they do.

-Oh, God.

But I think it's fine.

Nothing wrong with it.

MUSIC: "Fool For You" by Cee-Lo Green

And how many girls do you have, do you think, working in total, in all the different clubs?

-In total, you probably have about 600 girls.

-Yeah.

But a bank of at least, I would say, well over a thousand.

You can't remember them all. You have to have pictures.

We need a variety of girls.

So on a Saturday night, if you've got 25 girls booked, you don't want 25 blondes,

so you have to sort of mix and match. Pick 'n' mix.

-We've got lots of girls here in lots of different types of professions and jobs.

-Yeah.

Things like nurses, primary school teachers.

-A trainee barrister.

-Trainee barrister.

-Yeah.

-Lots of...

-Midwives.

-Yeah, midwives. Students.

-Theatre nurse.

Cos if they were in university and with university fees being so expensive now,

to work in a pub or something they'd have to work so many hours,

but they do one or two nights here and they're sorted.

They can concentrate and study for the rest of the week.

One of our girls is on one of the famous shopping channels as a presenter.

-Yeah, I see her often.

-Yeah, so do I.

-I think, "Ah, she used to work for us."

# We know what you're doing! # THEY CHUCKLE

Shall I phone her up while she's on air and say, "Oh, it's Jane from Secrets."

-"Do you remember us?" Yeah.

-We had The X Factor, didn't we?

-Yeah, what were they called?

-Candy Rain.

-Candy Rain.

-We've got two of them back working for us.

-No, one.

One of them now, cos one's having a baby, yeah.

We have a young girl that's been with me a long time, Paige. She's a world champion kick-boxer.

When she goes off to a match, she knows the girls are behind her.

She brings her sport into her dancing. She's an amazing dancer.

MUSIC: "Paradise Circus" by Massive Attack

Step and move. Good. Get your fists down.

Change partners, grab someone new. Quickly, quickly, guys, let's move it.

Do you ever tell your customers at Secrets that you're a boxer?

Oh, yeah, every time. They love it.

I've had a special request sometimes - "Can you do, like, a kick-boxing kind of dance?"

What do the guys at boxing think about you doing the table dancing?

They just think it's hideous.

Cos they can't even begin to imagine, like,

you trying to look feminine and, you know, er, ladylike.

Has it changed your opinion of men, working at Secrets?

Yes. Yeah. It has.

Er, it's made me a lot stronger.

I think, er, you know, as to what I do and don't want in a guy.

But it's also made me understand men a lot, lot better.

It's probably why I'm still single.

I think what it is with guys,

they feel that that's for them to see, and no-one else.

Apart from the gynaecologist.

Move but hit. Don't just move.

Make sure you move, punch her in the face.

OK.

'I first won my world championships in 2009

'and then it's kind of been an annual thing rolling on ever since, really.

'Next year in Orlando, I'll be defending my title.

'I've been with Team GB since 2009.

'Funding, it's a bit lean on the ground.

'Going away and competing abroad is not cheap.

So night work at Secrets,

it does help and contribute towards that side of things.

BELL RINGS

'Introducing your winner, fighting out of Combat Company...'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Will you be working at Secrets tomorrow?

Yeah. We'll see how my face looks and see what the managers say.

But yeah, a reason to celebrate.

Oh, look at my tits.

Who wants to come and paint my arse?

To the hand, to the hand, to the hand, hand.

-Thank you, yes please.

-Done?

-This is great, it feels good.

-Is that OK?

-No patting.

-Sorry, I'm used to patting.

Do you have regular customers that come and see you again and again?

Er, yes, but not enough. Want more.

What do you think about when you dance?

I don't really think about too much. Um...

Do you think about the customers?

Er...only if like, you know...

Hopefully they're, er, engaged, you know, and I'm not rubbish.

If someone likes you, then great, you know. It can be quite profitable.

But, you know, if you're not someone's cup of tea,

then, um, I'm afraid not.

Which, you know, comes with it as well.

You're not going to be everyone's, um, cup of tea,

and that's fine, you know. You can't have it all.

Do you have to compete with the other girls to get customers?

It is competitive but at the same time it wouldn't work

if we were all fighting.

The managers wouldn't have it anyway, you know, if we carried on like that.

It'd just spoil it, you know, so we have an understanding.

Lovely to see you again.

That was such a porno kiss!

Oi, do you know, he's like Hugh Hefner with his two girls!

-Oh, didn't you know that?

-Yeah. Yeah but...

Family hug. Oh. Mwah!

Summer, you know what? I've got to say it - you are beautiful.

High five. Actually, let's have a little...

'You kind of get a feel if someone likes you.

'You can see it if they do like the other girl instead.

'You can kind of just read the whole situation.'

So, Summer. How are we doing, are you all right?

Well, she's giving it all that...

'I don't take it personally. If I get rejected, no worries.

'You won't be everyone's cup of tea.'

-So we going to have lots of dances later?

-We're going to have unbelievable dances.

'It's all about preference. You just deal with it.

'I think, "OK, fine. I'm just going to get on to the next one."'

-Do you know what? Don't get jealous.

-That is so romantic(!)

'It's been a hard session, boxing.'

And then, you know, coming here and being kind of...

But you know, it's fine.

I'm young enough and ugly enough to do it, so it's fine.

I've got no excuse.

How's your face feeling now,

after being, sort of, beaten up a bit earlier on?

Bit sore. I'm starting to feel it a bit now.

Um, feel a bit sore on here, so I reckon tomorrow,

if you'd ask me, I'd be saying...

But you know what? It's fine.

As long as I'm still standing, I'm still with it, it's OK.

So what time will you be working till tonight?

Er, about four. Going to bed about five.

Yeah, it's going to be... It's going to be a late-early one.

People don't expect a world champion kickboxer to also be a table dancer.

A lot of people think table dancers are vulnerable,

they've been in bad relationships, or you know, they've been scorned somehow.

When, in fact, I think you've got to be quite the opposite cos it's very empowering.

What about your family? What do they think about you table dancing?

I've never actually asked my mum how she feels about it.

I just said, "Look, what's the worst thing I could ever tell you?"

And she was like, you know,

"Terminal illness, or you're going to run away,

"or I don't know. Just go to prison."

And she was like, "OK, OK. I-I-I... OK, that's enough now."

And that's fine.

We've kind of left it at that and that told me everything.

My dad - erm... He's not around.

He hasn't been around for years and years, so...

SHE SIGHS Sorry.

I don't know what he'd think. I don't think he'd be too happy,

but, er, I guess I'll never know.

In a way, I...

It would be good to...

For him to know, just to kind of get angry or...

..to have him come back and be like,

you know, "Oh, so this is what you're up to."

Not just with the dancing but the kickboxing, everything.

Would you like him to get back in touch?

Every day.

So the people at Secrets, have they become like family to you?

'Yeah. Yeah, they have.

'They're a good bunch.

'A really good bunch.

'The girls I work with, the friends I've made,

'the staff, the management. It's like a little family to me.'

How the hell am I supposed to cover this spot?

So, how long do you think you're going to keep table dancing for?

I don't know. I think it's addictive cos the money is so easy to make.

But I do want to do something else, like my undertaking job.

I won't give it much longer. Probably inside of a year or so.

Go from there. See where I am.

I don't know. Depends what dance work I get when I finish uni.

It's something you can always come and do.

-A lot of girls come back to it as well, like...

-Yeah. Take a break, and come back.

-Hiya.

-Hiya, Jane.

-Hiya. You all right?

All right. Yes, just fighting with the hair.

-You all right, darling?

-Yeah.

-You know we've got customers in already?

-So you need to...

-Right, OK.

-..get sorted, get downstairs.

-How long will you be? Cos...

-Literally five minutes.

The girls that got the early customers last night

earned really good money. So you need to get a wiggle on.

-If you're not down in five minutes...

-Kick up the bum, please.

-..big stick. OK? Thanks.

Cheers, Jane.

MUSIC: "Mama Do The Hump" by Rizzle Kicks

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]