Nolan and Hector Break for the Border

On a Belfast pub tour, all these divisions were clashing with his

view. We on this island together, or whether we like it or not. He is

going to meet Jenny, one of a new generation of young people, growing

up so as the Good Friday Agreement. I was raised a Catholic, I was

brought up through the Catholic schooling system, but I don't call

my supper Catholic. People think that in Belfast we are more

progress. I think it has gone past that. 21 % of people here have

rejected the usual definition of Irish of British. Like Jenny Bailey

chose a new distinction - Northern Irish. To you consider yourself

Northern Irish? A I do. I have a British and Irish passport. The

Irish passport is the best one to have, but I'll walk into any

British Embassy. If there was a border poll tomorrow, I would say

no. However, I am not completely closed off to the idea, but not in

the foreseeable. It would affect you less than it would mean. For

anyone under 40, this Irish Celtic rock will help Barry get in touch

with he's Irish side. I don't buy into this place. I really love

Dublin, I think it is fantastic. It has been my home from a long time

and it took me a while to learn how the South works. There is a sense

of dodging and weaving that you don't get in the north. In the

north you square of to each other. Down here, there is a tendency to

dark and dodge. -- dark and dodge. I spent my career trying to land

blows! That is probably what distinguishes the two sets of

people. I may as well be in a foreign country. There is a barrier

in my head. It is. The identity is what you feel about the place. If I

am looking for Irish nurse, I don't even know what that is. Well, up I

would head for Galway. It is for of mad, red-headed people. It is a

great city, even when it is raining. What about hector? He is as mad as

a brush, but you were like him. I'm probably not going to be allowed

back into a restaurant after all the treacherous things I have said.

We are leaving Belfast and going down to Bangor. It became famous

after every Anna was filming here. She was on a farm filming, but when

the farmer saw the kind of video she was filming, he asked her to

leave. Before he has even got into the field, Hector has a sense of

what he is going to find. He is going to need Free Presbyterian and

democratic Unionist Alan Graham he told the American singer to put her

top back on. Come back to the hills of Ulster! Where about washy,

exactly? Further over. In it was mainly in the field where you are.

Cannot take a rock with me. We will sell them at home. They are ?25

each. Thank you very much of getting the dress code right. The

singer getting hurt rocks off did not impress farmer Graham. She was

wearing a bikini and I did not object to that. Losses Storey said

that I did. Some people said, have you never been to a beach. However,

half of her clothing came off and it was inappropriate. Did she know

where she was? Did she know that when an Ulsterman says it's over,

it's finished? He is meeting a well-known journalist.

Now compare that to people in the North. Yeah, you will protest at

anything. A bit of cloth, the flag, a march going down the wrong street,

and, look, for very understandable historical reasons, to be fair, but

I think we probably look at... To be honest, they are probably

slightly linked... Certainly, when I was growing up, we looked up

North and we kind of went, "Wow, that's what protesting and violence

can lead to." In Bangor, Alan Graham's protest brought him

international notoriety, but Hector wants to find out if he and this

very Northern farmer have any common ground. We know farms down

in the South have the best farms in Europe. Is this British soil, is it

Protestant soil, is it Catholic soil? Is it Methodist, is it

Presbyterian, or is it Irish soil? The most discreet answer... The

most discreet answer would be... It belongs to the Lord. He made it all,

so therefore the earth is the Lord's in the fullness of the Lord,

so that is a good... Sort of political answer, isn't it? How's

the milk quota up here? Are you making a few quid? I don't grow

milk, I just grow barley, but... Is there money in barley? Well, you

see, a farmer in the North is likely the same as a farmer in

South. When he sees light at the end of the tunnel, he calls for

more tunnel, so she doesn't own up to anything. Anyway, it's great to

talk to you and I'm glad to see that you haven't adapted fully to

technology and that you are still accepting the Fiat 90. Now, you

don't see many of these. No, no, you see... That's just a plain

man's tractor. Can you not get a grant for tractors up here with all

your Northern Ireland money? Did the Good Friday Agreement not give

you grants for tractors? I voted against the Good Friday Agreement,

so I couldn't go looking for their money! Back in Dublin, Abie wants

to take Stephen on a sightseeing tour to visit the most famous

reminder of the Celtic Tiger. I guess Anglo Irish was the bank that

really did us in. It's always the Anglo bit that does us in, by the

way, just to make that clear. So this is kind of... This was going

to be their grand headquarters. This is the ground zero of the

Celtic Tiger crash and there it is. That was going to be the Anglo?

That was going to be the global headquarters of Anglo Irish Bank,

massive prestige building on the quays, that's what's left of it, or

that's as much as got made before the whole thing collapsed and they

went, "Oh, we've no money to finish this. "Actually, we have no money

to pay anyone. "Actually, we're not even a bank, we're just a massive

hole. "Could you please bail us out, thank you very much?" Massive hole?

Yeah, massive hole. Is the word. Yeah. This massive hole sucked the

Southern Irish people into a 34 billion euro debt, but with a bit

of ducking and diving, the government managed to wangle

putting off the repayments for ten years. I mean, as a monument of

sort of hubris and a metaphor, it's kind of priceless. It should be in

a gallery somewhere. Hector's got interested in religion. In Belfast,

he has noticed there are a lot of Protestant churches in a relatively

small area and he's wondering why. So he's going to meet Duncan Morrow,

a lecturer in the University of Ulster and an expert on all things

ecumenical. Duncan, I need to go through this list because we are on

the Lisburn Road. Let's go through the amount of churches on the

Lisburn Road. First of all, St Nicholas's Parish, Belfast. How are

they? That's Church of Ireland. They have bishops and they're not,

all of them, counting themselves as Protestant. OK, we move on down the

road and we go to the South Belfast Quaker Meeting House. Who goes in

there? Well, that's a peace church and they don't have any clergy at

all and their meetings are in silence unless they're inspired.

Sounds like a place I'd like to go. St Thomas's Parish Church down on

Eglantine Avenue. What are they? Well, that's another Anglican

church, but it might be more Protestant or less Protestant, you

can't be sure with the Anglicans, which way that'll go. If I wasn't

happy there, I could go to the Fisherwick Presbyterian Church up

the road. What do they do? The Presbyterians are the largest of

the Protestant denominations in the North, they're Scottish, with roots

in Ulster Scots and they like a good sermon. Then we can move on to

the Malone Presbyterian Church just up the road. Well, that may have a

slightly different colour. It may be more conservative, less

conservative, you can't be sure. Them Malone boys, you can't trust

them! There's more colours and tribalism in your churches than

there is anywhere else. Absolutely and, historically, at times they

were at each other's throats, both between dominations and at various

times within denominations. In some towns, there's a First Presbyterian

and a Second Presbyterian. That's a history that some didn't like it in

the first, so they went off to the second. Windsor Baptist Church?

Sounds like a good party. Yeah, the Baptist churches don't baptise

children, they baptise adults. You have to go into a pool and you have

full immersion and they have independent churches all over the

place. The Church of St John the Evangelist. Well, that's another

Anglican church again. Bells and smells, or is it just like an old

Protestant church? You can't be sure. University Road Moravian

Church Manse. Well, the Moravians came from Germany. They started the

whole singing in the church and they're pious. Not many of them

around here, but they were very important. Tell me about the

Finaghies in the Methodist Church. Well, the Methodist church there,

they preach, they have the social gospel, they believe in all the

reaching out. That's another big international denomination. And

finally, we are still on the Lisburn Road, if I want to go down

to the Lowe Memorial Presbyterian Church, 191 - 193 Upper Lisburn

Road, what would I find there? You'd find elders, you'd find

Presbyterians reading the Bible, you'd find people preaching every

week. What one do you go to? I go to one on the Ormeau Road, which is

called Cook Presbyterian Church. That's my background, I'm steeped

in it. That's one of the most interesting things I've learned on

this journey. The amount of different levels and areas of

Protestantism. You know, with Presbyterians and Methodists and

Quakers and... This Church of Ireland, the Church of England...

You have all these different little parts of Protestantism. And it's

just completely bonkers and mad that they're all in such a small

part of the country. Nolan has taken Barry Devlin's advice and

headed west to Galway - Hector's home turf. Like a Northern Irish

Goldilocks, he's sitting in Hector's very own chair. I'm down

south for the whole week, I'm actually broadcasting from Galway

this morning. What an experience this has been so far! Out and about

in Galway, Stephen is still trying to connect with something that

makes him feel authentically Irish. Trouble is, Nolan is hard to

impress. 'Galway doesn't actually seem that

different 'than any other major shopping street I've seen.' In fact,

I'll tell you what I am noticing, there would be more shops lying

vacant and empty in Belfast city centre than there would here. Most

of them are tenanted. I noticed one down there which was to let, but

everything else was at least occupied. You go into Belfast city

centre, the likes of Royal Avenue these days, there's quite a few

shops empty. ON RADIO: 'Breakfast with Hector, on 2FM.' This is

Breakfast With Hector, live from the North of Ireland. Loads of

people on Twitter last night saying, "Oh, enjoy the Ulster fry." I don't

know why you keep going on about the Ulster fry, like it's something

you can't get in any other part of the country. In 2011 the British

Heart Foundation revealed that twice as many people died from

coronary heart disease in Northern Ireland than in the South of

England. And guess what? They actually blamed the Ulster fry!

SIZZLING Lovely processed meat, sausage, bacon, fried egg, and all

the saturated fats soaked up by three kinds of bread - soda, potato

and a pancake. A heart attack on a plate never tasted so good. Heard a

lot about this Ulster fry. Right. Tell me exactly what I need to have

the quintessential Ulster fry? Frying pan! There you have it. In

an Ulster fry, everything on the plate has to be cooked in a frying

pan. Can I have beans on an Ulster? That's more of an English thing.

Yes, we do them as an extra but they don't come on an Ulster fry.

What, so it's just like a fry down the South? It's not. Your fries are

good, but they're not as good as the Ulster fry! Were you reared on

Ulster fries? We have a fry... Do I look like I was reared on Ulster

fries? Away with you, to prepare the Ulster fry. Oh, have you ever

heard anything about a bloody breakfast in all your born bloody

days? There is something on that plate that sounds like health food,

but this item definitely doesn't constitute one of your five-a-day.

That's your vegetable roll. I've never heard of a vegetable roll

before from a butcher. It's like a sausage meat with vegetables in it.

It's black pudding or white pudding. It's not, believe it or not. But

you're unbelievable for putting your own slant on things up there.

Well, you taste it and tell me - what does it taste like? Black

pudding or white pudding? That's sausage meat with a bit of herb.

See. Do yous want one too? Do you want an Ulster fry? They always

have Ulster fries. OK then, Ulster fries for everyone in the house!

CUSTOMER: Wahey! Wahey! Stephen Nolan's paying! Because I'll

guarantee you one thing, Stephen Nolan, I'd say you've had a fair

few of these in your day. One thing Stephen isn't used to is a bit of a

traditional Irish session, and it could be he's finally found what

he's looking for. You know, I'm thinking culture down here, and I'm

not thinking politics. I'm not thinking Irish in terms of United

Ireland or the colour of a flag, I'm just really buying into this

lovely music, lovely craic, lovely atmosphere, lovely people. Ooh. And

I'm only experiencing it now, when I'm 39. What a shame, for me. ALL:

Whoo! And there's more Irish hospitality coming from the kitchen.

You know I like my grub, so hopefully there's nothing too fancy

here. I love chips, I love stews, I love pies, I love burgers... So

PLEASE...this isn't going to be the disappointment of the night, cos

everything's been perfect so far, perfect. What's being served up is

drisheen - better known as black pudding - and a local dish,

crubeens. Yes, sir, you OK for everything else? What is this?!

Crubeens. What? Pig's feet? Oh... Pig's feet?! Trotters. WAITER

LAUGHS Pig's feet, would you eat pig's feet? It's a beautiful meat

and it's a very old Irish traditional dish. Is it? That's

been served in bars and... See, this is my ignorance then, I didn't

know this. This is the first time in my life I've ever gone for the

vegetables. Is he raging? THEY LAUGH FLUTE BAND PLAYS

Hector's journey has brought him to Newtonstewart. It's the first time

this boy from down south has been this close to a marching band, and

it's having a profound effect. This is mental. This is... This is the...

I don't know how to describe it. But it's probably the most tangible

thing, you can hear it, you can feel it, you can relate to it,

doesn't matter what part of the island you're on, we've all seen

this. And now we're here, in the middle of their marching night.

This is mental, this is mad. This band is called the Red Hand

Defenders. For the first leg of their march they follow their

traditional route around the town. During a short break, Hector jumps

in to find out if he has anything in common with these boys. One of

the boys said, "The nationalists have their GAA, "we've got our

marching." But that's sport and music, two different things. Yeah,

but it's similar to us. This is our big thing. This is summertime, this

is what you like to do in the middle of summertime? Yep, I'm

doing it now 30 years. Would you not like to get up there and climb

the hills of Donegal, or...? The hills of Tyrone, why don't you go

out fly-fishing on a Sunday? Huh? Are you real? HE LAUGHS Today is

the 41st anniversary of the Red Hand defenders, and to mark it 40

bands from all over Ulster have come to celebrate with them. It's a

great show of unity, but to Hector, it still feels one-sided. Can I ask

you this? And with all the greatest respect - does this hinder or help

everything that's going on up here, the way people are trying to

rebuild their lives? Do you really need to have 40 bands marching

through a town that's 50/50 Catholic and Protestant? On a

Friday night? I think if people... There's bands on both sides of the

community. What do you mean, there's pipe bands...? There's pipe

bands who are... Marching bands? Yes. Catholic marching bands?! Yes,

there are Catholic marching bands! Come up the 17th of March or the

15th of August and you'll find Catholic marching bands. OK, but

they don't march together, do they? No. OK. See, let's take it a step

at a time. I know... It's recognising your culture and where

you came up from. Continuing his search for the genuine Irish

experience, Stephen is sailing to a secluded island about 30 miles out

in the Atlantic Ocean - Inis Meain. Inis Meain, that's the one. Is it a

nice island? Nice island, yeah. Is there lots on it? There's, eh...

There's ancient ruins and stuff, nice little pub, it's quiet, like,

peaceful. You're playing this down, it better be good. Stephen's

already dreading it, not least because all the inhabitants are

native Irish speakers. I am not learning Irish. No interest!

Whatsoever, none. Hello? But before he can discover

his Irishness, he has to find his sea legs. Oh! This is my idea...of

misery! I'm very sure this boat is about to capsize, because every

time you get a bit steady, it rocks over that way. And I'm very aware

that there's about 21 stone of my weight weighing it this way, and

there's nothing weighing it that way! And then we're relying on a

few Irish lifeguards downstairs that look as though they're in

their late 70s, with beards. There's none of them's going to

jump in and save me. Awful. Absolutely abysmal. Despite

Stephen's fears, the boat has made it to dry land, but a bigger

problem has presented itself when the island minibus delivers Stephen

to his hotel. It's a wind-up, isn't it? It's shut! It seems there's

confusion over Stephen's booking. Have you left us at the wrong

hotel? To make matters more confusing, the hotel owner is only

just arriving now. It's not the only thing lost in translation.

What? Take a seat for a while. That could be the first Irish I've

learned. What was that, shish what? Sui-shish? Sui sios. Well, we say

SUH sios. And what's that mean? Just "sit down". And how do I say

in Irish, "Am I booked in?" And how do you say yes? Brilliant, thank

you. So we're actually in a wee bit of diffs here, because I've been

giving him hassle for not having the hotel already, and actually -

seriously - we've cocked up. We didn't book it, we actually booked

somewhere else, and he's got his wife down. They're panicking,

trying to get the rooms ready, and we're actually in the wrong place.

A complete cock-up. Back in Newtonstewart the bands are in full

fettle. The whole event can take four or five hours for everyone to

parade through the town. They'll be marching well into the night, but

Hector is ready to call it a day. It's now... I can't even hear

myself. It's just band after band after band after band after

marching band, and tune after tune after tune. And I'm getting a bit

of a band headache after this. I need a cup of tea and a sit-down.

Cos it's just getting a bit mad. I'm all band-out of it. It's a

bright morning in Inis Meain, and Stephen is going to meet Maureen.

She's one of 126 inhabitants, mostly over 55, and all of them

fervently proud of their heritage. You see, part of this programme is

for me to see if I can connect with my Irishness. I don't even know

what my Irishness is. I'm going to give you an answer. Of course

you're Irish. For instance, if I go into the

local shop and I hear native Irish- speaking children, and if I hear

them speaking English, I really have to put my fingers into my ears.

Ach, it's not that bad! I don't like it. What do you think then is

the real danger... Of losing Irish language? Of those kids starting to

speak English? The real danger is people are not going to respect it

as much as... We did. So do you think it makes you even more real

Irish because you speak Irish? Of course! Yes. Why? Of course, and

I'm proud of it. Because Irish... It's only a language. Still, it's

our language, and your language is your culture. Hector is travelling

up to the Antrim Coast. He's always been drawn to areas where language

and culture play an important part. I used to live in the Basque

Country, I went over to Bilbao for three weeks and stayed there for

five years. So I understand language and minority languages.

Hector's going to bring all he has learnt to a minority culture only

found in Northern Ireland - Ulster Scots. Wee Bo Peep has lost her

sheep and disnae know where to fin' them. Leave them alane and they'll

come hame, wagging their tails behin' them. I'm glad I found the

right bar in town. You're in the right one. Yous are all a bit

strange, are you Ulster Scots in here? We're Ulster Scots, aye, we

speak Ulster Scots and we are Ulster Scots. Both the way we speak

and also our culture as well. Can we order two drinks in Ulster

Scots? Are you paying? I will pay. You can order away then. If I was

saying it in Irish, or Gaelic, I'd say... How would you say? I would

say, "Can I get a pint and put it on the tic?" THEY LAUGH Get a pint

and put it on the tic? Aye. Two pints and put it on the tic. You're

getting there. "SCOTLAND THE BRAVE" PLAYS Although people have spoken

this way for centuries, the term Ulster Scots didn't exist until the

1980s, but it was brought to prominence in the Good Friday

Agreement and given equal status with the Irish language. Did the

boys up in Stormont not go, "Right, the Good Friday Agreement, we

better include the Ulster Scots"? They did. Were you giving out stink

that you weren't included? You says, "Well, the Catholics are getting

money for the Irish language..." Ah, but that's a misconception. This is

what I heard. Yes... And listen, that is how it was packaged,

"There's no such thing as Ulster Scots, "we'll invent Ulster Scots

for the Protestants." A lot of nonsense, this is an Ulster Scots-

speaking area, it doesn't matter if you're Protestant, Roman Catholic,

Jewish, Chinese... Polish. Aye. The way you speak is geographical. If

you were in France and you spoke French, it wouldnae matter what

religion you are or where you go on a Sunday. Exactly. Expert in many

languages, Hector is going to show off his linguistic skills. The next

"sang" we're going to hear from Ballymoney is I'll Tell Me Ma When

I Go Ho... Hame... THEY LAUGH # I'll tell me ma when I go home #

The boys won't leave the girls alone... # 'I expected a completely

different language. 'Ulster Scots is a version of English with a

Scottish dialect.' End of story. But what I do like is, that up in

that little place in Ballymoney, they're trying to preserve a little

bit of culture, and if they got funding off the Good Friday

Agreement to keep their language alive, and a bit of tradition and

culture, I've no problem with that. Back on his own cultural odyssey,

Stephen is meeting a local poet who only writes in the Irish language.

But, just in case, Stephen's brought along Bridgeen, his

interpreter. This is some exercise, I tell you, up these hills. Oh, I'm

exhausted. Hello. SHE SPEAKS IRISH This is Peadar Bore? Hello, Peadar,

I'm Stephen. Do you speak any English? No. No? None? Erm, you

show...show me? OK, can you tell...? Oh, she's gone. Can you

tell him, what's he going to show me? Stay you with me, for goodness'

sake. And Paedar has chosen something to break the ice. He's

going to show you how to milk the cow. Milk the cow? No, no. I'll not

be touching any teats. No, he'll show you how to... What's Irish for

no? What's Irish for no? PAEDAR CONTINUES TALKING IN IRISH

Awful. He likes walking. I don't do walking. Paedar, what is that? I

don't even know what that is. DONKEY BRAYS Paedar? PAEDAR TALKS

TO DONKEY Paedar is trying to calm Stephen's fear of the beasts of the

field, but it's not working. Here we go. Sweet Jesus. There's a

cow - Peadar, close the gate! PAEDAR SPEAKS IRISH STEPHEN MIMICS

HIM. This is just so alien to me. And

yet so beautiful. It is beautiful. There is a real dignity in what

Peadar is doing, because he is proud of what he does, and his

language is that language I have discounted, his language is that

language that I have said I want to know nothing about, and yet that is

his spoken language. And I think if I want him to respect me, I should

be respecting him too, which I now do. It seems that across the

language divide, respect is mutual. Oh! That's really nice. Can you

tell him "thank you"? BRIDGEEN SPEAKS IRISH. Thank you very much,

thank you. That's really sweet, this man not knowing me... I'll

tell you what, I'm a fellow Irishman now. I've a completely

different mindset from when I first came, because I just wasn't really

taking it seriously enough. And Irishness and what it actually

means. You know, it now actually means something to me. I'm not

saying I've changed my identity, I haven't, but Irishness means

something, it's real, it's lovely. The only... The only thing that

could change my mind is the people. Nothing that I could write down,

nobody telling me what to do. A compliment that I would give the

people is they have changed someone who's really stubborn. Because of

their authenticity and their integrity.

Time for a well-deserved cup of tea and a warm bed.

Breakfast With Hector, on 2FM. Yeah, welcome to Breakfast With Hector,

we are in BBC Radio Foyle, and we're looking forward to our show

from Derry. I feel as if Breakfast With Hector has landed in one of

our strongholds, we've a lot of listeners in this neck of the woods.

It's the fifth and final day. For Hector, this is almost home turf,

he's right next to the border with Donegal. There's just time for a

whistle-stop tour of the walls, the world-famous Bogside Murals, and a

chance to meet the artists who painted them. This is a very human

story and it's acclaimed around the world. It's celebrated by, as you

can see, the many visitors that come to the city to see the work.

There's no mystique around it, just a very human document, simple story.

The murals are located on a very historical street, that's the key

thing, these murals are about the ordinary men, women and children of

this community. If you look at them carefully, they may be scenes of

turbulent times, but they don't glorify... No, depicted brilliantly,

they are absolutely brilliant, you picture the children and the faces

and the women brilliantly. Absolutely, we address the issue of

children by the mural over here, it's called The Death Of Innocence.

And it's a little girl from this community who was the first child

to be shot in our city. She represents all the children -

Protestant, Catholic, English, Irish. I've been here for a few

days, right, and I'm fed us asking questions, "Where are you from?

What are you? "Which church do you go to?" I'm asking too many

questions. I'm glad to see you've got some sort of work clothes on

you there. Aye, I'm an artist. He's an artist! It's nearly time for our

two explorers to finally meet, and here's the perfect place. In the

middle of the River Foyle is a small island right on the border.

But even here, North and South can't agree exactly where the

border falls. On some maps they just ignore this island, so

technically, it doesn't exist. Tomorrow Nolan and Hector will meet

on no-man's-land. But before he goes home, Stephen wants to

investigate something he knows nothing about - southern politics.

Surprising, because politics is his bread and butter up north. But he

wants to know if his brand of Nolanism would ever be welcomed

down south, and as luck would have it, there's a by-election taking

place in East Meath. Perfect opportunity to put his northern

know-how to the test. Pat McParland, the Deputy General Secretary,

Director Of Communications for Fianna Fail, he actually used to be

up north. So I know him a little bit, he won't speak to me on camera,

but he's going to get me his man. Great, cos I've no idea who his man

is. Could be Noddy for all I know. Hmmm, don't let the big ears fool

you, Stephen, but that's Noddy on the left. Stephen might still be a

bit lost, but he can't help himself having a go. ..because if you want

to bail out... Here we go. Well, if you want to bail out bonders, you

ask the people. Here comes the spin. You ask the people. No different

than any of the rest of them. Yeah, I know... Said it with a smile on

his face as well. Just as bad as the boys up north. You don't even

have proportional representation up there. Oh, right, you're going to

have a go at our system now? Yeah, yeah. You see, politics isn't

boring, politics is exciting no matter where you are and there you

have a guy, it's rolling off his tongue as if he can make a

difference and he probably believes he can. I'm just cynical towards

every one of them, that's how I've been brought up. The favourite

candidate is Helen McEntee. Stephen has just found out she's the

daughter of the last TD who died tragically, which causes him to ask

the obvious question. Is there much nepotism and...? Well, ish, but the

circumstances in this particular incident are different than the

norm. But there is an element of that in politics down this part of

the country. Really? What ways does it usually work then? Well, fathers

and daughters and, you know, daughters and sons, and that's the

way it works. Why? Why? Aye. I don't know why. Suddenly, Stephen

has found a familiar face. Welcome to this part of the island. Thank

you very much. What's the difference for you from down here

and up there? Politics are in transition. You know, they're in

transition in the North even though it's like the iceberg melting

because of the peace process and all of that. And they're in

transition here because of the economic crisis and the corruption.

I mean, why have two conflicting health services? Why have

competition for jobs? Our health service in Northern Ireland is far

better than down here, isn't it? Well, it is, it could be improved...

That's why you have two, cos we don't want yours. What frightens

me...when I'm asked to come down and subsume everything that is

about down here, it's not my British identity, it's my Northern

Irish identity. I'm proud to be Northern Irish. And I'm not talking

about the difference between British and Irish. Northern Irish

is what's important to me. Does that mean you're a wee bit Irish?

You're now only getting what I've had for all my life - the

opportunity to travel throughout the entire island. Do you take a

pint? Peach Schnapps. I don't drink any of these beers. Right. Well, OK.

THEY CHUCKLE. With politicians in the North, the door is always open

to Stephen, so, naturally, before he leaves, he wants to speak to the

favourite candidate here, Helen McEntee. Want to go through? Will

she speak to me for a second? She... Where are you from? Northern

Ireland. No, like, what's the video for? It's for the BBC. So, I'm

Stephen, I know nothing about southern politics. OK. She probably

won't at the moment to be honest, because we're just getting ready

for the next count to be announced and stuff like that. Sorry, what's

your name? My name's Stephen. Stephen, how are you doing? Yes. I

gather Helen's unavailable at the moment. Unavailable? Yeah. Why's

that now? She's sitting having a wee drink. Well, exactly. And I'm

down here to try to learn all about politics down here and this

candidate. Yeah, OK. If Helen becomes available, I'll let you

know. And what would the circumstances be when she'd become

available? I don't know, I don't want to hypothesise on it. Right.

She got a full diary today, does she? Eh, yeah, I'm sure she does.

Is there a wee gap for me? I've come all the way down from Belfast.

Don't make me repeat myself. All the way down! OK. Look, by the way,

see the way she's unavailable. Look, chatting to her mates. All I wanted

to say to Helen was, "What's the campaign like?" And my goodness, up

comes one protector, then we get the press officer, "We'll see if

she's going to become available later on." Here's the score - I

don't actually care whether she's available now or next year. In fact,

I don't even want to speak to her any more. Back in Derry and Hector

is on the Peace Bridge. Opened in 2011, this landmark was designed to

join the two communities, Catholic and Protestant, together. How are

you? Are you well? There's the future of Northern Ireland. How are

you doing? Hector. How are you? Hi. Where are these children from?

They're from the Long Tower School and Fountain Primary School, we do

a joint project, you know, cross- community. Brilliant, it's all

about that, isn't it? Yep. And this is the bridge to do it. Yeah, Peace

Bridge. The Peace Bridge. See you later. Say bye. Bye. Bye. That's

what it's all about, you know what I mean? For the last couple of days,

I've been asking people, "Are you Catholic? Are you Protestant? "What

church do you go to? "Do you go to this church, that church?" Do you

know what I mean? It's hard enough for me to have my own bit of faith

back home. I'm fed up asking other people up here, "What's your

faith?" It means nothing to me, it's not important. And out here on

the water, borders are even less important. Hector is nearly home.

He can see the hills of Donegal out on patrol with Fisheries Officer

Lionel Knobs. Traditionally, Fisheries Officers only had

jurisdiction in the North. Poachers knew where the border fell and used

that knowledge to escape arrest in the South. But closer co-operation

has meant the wardens can now operate on both sides of the border.

Tell me exactly, where's Donegal? Oh, Donegal's on the opposite shore

here, just as I'm pointing across here. Yeah. And Derry. And Tyrone

is this way here. Lionel, who were the smugglers? Who were the

poachers? Who were they? Were they the boys from the Bogside, or the

lads from the hills of Donegal, or the Presbyterians of Tyrone? Mainly

from that side of the river. Ahhh! Where are your people from? I

couldn't say. Over there. The thing is, you can't see the border out

here because it runs right through the middle of the Foyle. Is there a

border on the river? Can you see it? No, do the fish know there's a

border? Absolutely not. Because they're crossing every day. Where

is it? Is it there? Is it there? It turns out you're in one country and

I'm in another as we speak. So, this side of the boat... That side,

you know, so... Well, here, hang on a second. Here's one I got earlier.

I hope you've got a licence for that. Can you tell me where this

lad came from? That's a fantastic salmon caught this morning in one

of our local rivers. You know, there's a great Irish story about

the salmon of knowledge, bradan feasa, the salmon that you had to

eat to give you the eternal knowledge for the country. This

salmon has been here way before any troubles, hasn't he? Absolutely.

Way before any factions, or churches, or Quakers, or

Presbyterians, or Catholics. Or even Vikings. Or even Vikings.

Shall we set him free? Look at your face. He's a fantastic specimen.

Fantastic fish, and that's part of the attraction to this part of

Ireland. Ah, it's great. The remoteness and the wildness and the

freedom you have when you come here. The border's invisible. Good point.

It's the end of the experiment. For the final part of their journey,

Nolan and Hector are going to meet on an island that is neither North

nor South. Well, they're going to meet on the bridge, because the

border falls somewhere in the middle of the river. It's the first

time they've met and, fair to say, they are a little wary of each

other. But never mind the meeting of these two Irishmen - will this

bridge hold these two egos? Nice to meet you. Good to see you, nice to

meet you too. What did you find? Ireland in the 1950s? Was it, "And

tonight, Ireland will be in the 1950s"? What are you trying to say?

Do you want me to come down and fake it and say, "Ach, everything's

beautiful and everything's wonderful"? Did you want it real or

did you want it fake? You need to knock this bitterness out of you.

What bitterness? I'm not... There is bitterness. Look, there's a lot

of wholesome goodness in me, Hector. Stephen, I went for an Ulster fry.

Right. You're needing a few more. Every man, woman and child I talked

to, "Have an Ulster..." You don't own sausages, you know. Pig's feet?

Hector, pig's feet. A traditional dish of Ireland? Rotten! Stinking!

If I knew you were going to have that, I would have sorted that out.

I apologise on behalf of the people of my neck of the woods. How did

you get on down there? Did you see any culture? Come on, Stephen.

There was a really touching moment for me, on Inis Meain, because

there was a man that some people, I don't know, they might mock him, he

couldn't speak English, and at the very end, there was an act of

kindness that has stayed with me. Because I walked over and he hand-

made this little wicker basket for me. Lovely. And he didn't know me,

and he didn't have to do it and he wasn't told to do it. That's the

decency of the people of this country. Yeah. It doesn't matter

where we're from. But you know what? We've got really one thing in

common, really one thing, and what I wanted to come and find out was

what unites us, not what divides us, because I've heard that word too

many times up here. It's the love, and I mean love, of Manchester

United. Champions. Champions. I've got a season ticket. I was over

there a couple of weeks ago. Brilliant. Thank you, mate. All

right, man. Good to see you. Good to see you. See you later. It's

just been wonderful for me to broaden my mind. Like, think about

that, for me to actually learn about what is an hour and a half up

the road. How stupid have I been during my life not to do so until

now? Hector - he's class! They're a spirited people up here, there's

fire in their belly and they've got a good sense of humour. You know

what? We're losing an awful lot of people off this island to

emigration, the whole island is suffering, so let's keep as many as

we can, let's get on with each other. I have learnt that there is

too much ignorance, and it's lazy. We're a little island outcast into

the Atlantic. North, south, east and west, let's all get on with

each other.