Miss Transgender: Britain's New Beauty Queens

This programme contains strong language

Britain's new beauty queens are competing in a pageant with a difference.

These girls are stunning.

They've got their bodies, they've got their breasts done.

I'm like early, early, early stage, so I'm relying on make-up here

and my Gillette razors.

Miss Transgender UK is the nation's first pageant for trans-women.

I think it's become a celebration of being transgender overall,

for everybody, as well as everybody wanting to be in it to win it.

40 contestants will battle it out for the crown.

I look at all the girls, it's like The Hunger Games -

right, I'm out to kill.

Darling, it's not Crufts!

This is a competition and this is trying to make people proud!

You're a disgrace!

But they're not just fighting for first place,

they're battling to be accepted as the women they were born to be.

I've got a voice and I've got a story, I've got a past.

I want to be understood, I want to be heard.

Do you want more height here? Or do you want it to just fall naturally?

Yeah, I just want it to fall naturally.

Because you're a bit of a natural chick, aren't you?

The hair's natural, everything else is paid for.

Beauty queen hopefuls from all corners of Britain have

entered the inaugural Miss Transgender UK pageant.

Erm...I'm not going to lie. I feel pretty.

I feel like I'm getting married.

We've got such a wide variation of girls that have entered,

some of them are international pageant winners,

some are just going through their early transition.

How does it look?

I can't even say the words that are in my mouth.

Some are 56 years old, some are 19 years old.

Some are out and others are just not

and they're using this as a platform to be able to do that.

It's not just a beauty pageant.

We're looking for somebody that's got something to say.

Five regional heats will take place across the nation.

The top beauty queens from each heat will qualify for the final,

where one of them will win £5,000 and be crowned the country's

first Miss Transgender UK.

If I win the final, I then have the money to be able to

start my extra special process of becoming a mum.

We follow three contestants as they struggle to leave their past behind

and be recognised as the women they've fought to become.

I started to transition as soon as I left school

and I just got terrorised, I couldn't live my life in peace.

I've been called so many different names over the years -

him, it, freak, tranny.

I'm a girl at the end of the day.

I was just born with a dick, that's it.

In two days' time, 22-year-old Jai will be

competing in the Scotland heat for a place in the final.

She's from Walkerburn, a small village in the Borders.

Currently, I am the only trans in the village.

I'm certainly the only one in quite a few villages.

It's like Little Britain.

Jai has been living as a woman for just two months

and is already finding dating as a trans-girl confusing.

If a man wants to use me as a fetish, they normally ask for

a dick pic or they will ask...

They go, "Do you have Snapchat?"

And I'm like, "Oh, yes, I have Snapchat."

And then they say hi to me with a dick. That's what I get.

I just sort of feel like I am 16 again

and just trying to find my feet, really,

and I think it's just going to take me a while

and I've just got to basically test the water on everything.

That was just me, like, brace-faced, awkward teenager.

I always thought the fashion was a bit quirky.

HE CHUCKLES

Bordering on feminine taste. I suppose, if I look back on it,

the signs were there. I just thought he was gay.

Jai spent the first few years of her life in Thailand,

having been born to a Scottish father and Thai mother.

Her parents started taking her to Thailand's iconic stage shows

when she was six years old.

I was always, like, quite fascinated by the ladyboys because it's like...

they used to be boys but now they're women who are stunning

and attractive and sought-after.

So that's the picture, my first ever experience with ladyboys.

Like, when she picked me up, I thought that she

was just a very glamorous woman.

They were what I wanted to be.

-INTERVIEWER:

-As Jai starts to physically change,

are you nervous about that?

No, his personality doesn't change.

The same person, it's just the outer shell changes, but inside just

stays the same, so I've not got any concerns about that.

It's not important to our relationship.

I'll wear my waist trainer.

So I put it on three and then just shake for, like, 20 minutes.

To get her body pageant ready, Jai is on a strict training regime.

My dream body would be Kim Kardashian's body.

I want to have a big ass, tiny waist and then big boobs.

Of the 40 girls in the competition,

Jai is at the earlier stage of her transition.

I feel really, like, self-conscious because I am so early stage,

so it's like I have to try more to prove to people that I am a woman.

I'm trying to show these judges and the panel

and the UK that...girl from the Borders who's had nothing done

is as high a level as the girls who might have had everything done.

-MACHINE BEEPS

-Da-dun.

-What size is that?

-It's about a UK 8.

-Oh, no.

We're not an 8 any more.

30-year-old Courtney is hoping to take the crown at the Midlands heat

and win a place in the final.

I've never wore anything like this before in my life, never.

Eight months ago, she moved from Nottingham

to London for a fresh start.

-INTERVIEWER:

-What did you think when you were invited to join the pageant?

I was really shocked,

I was kind of thinking, "Really?

"Should I really do this? Am I really that kind of girl?"

-What do you mean by that?

-Like, beauty queen, you know?

Last year, I was 7.5 stone.

I was sat in my flat smoking a cocktail of drugs,

as the drugs worker put it.

And now, I'm busting at the seams of my dresses and I'm happy

and I'm glad I'm still alive and I'm still breathing and I'm a survivor.

I refuse to go out like that.

Courtney started to transition when she was just a teenager.

Since then, she's struggled with addiction

and worked on and off as a transgender escort and webcam girl.

I don't want to escort any more.

I want a stable life.

Courtney wants to use the competition to speak out

about how young transgender women can get trapped in the sex industry.

Escorting is a very big issue in today's transgender community.

As a transgender person, it's very normal for us

to be sex workers and that's what I want to try and change.

Oh, my God. I feel amazing.

I just want my mum to look at me and be like, "That's my daughter."

You know?

Courtney has just found out that her mum,

who she hasn't seen in two years, has bought a ticket to the pageant.

My family is like an episode of Dynasty,

or probably Shameless, but in my head Dynasty.

How do you feel about your mum in the audience?

It's going to be really, really hard,

but I'm going to give props to my mum, you know,

because she's not going to win mother of the year,

but she was, like, saying how proud of me she was.

That's all anyone ever wants to hear from their parents, isn't it?

Well, you're definitely all lady in that.

Get to that final.

28-year-old Fay has been living as a woman for 13 years.

She's one of the only contestants to have had full gender

reassignment surgery.

I feel a lot of people glamorise it and they're like,

"It's amazing, it's fab." It's not amazing. It's not fabulous.

It's hard work. You know, the first time I had sex as Fay was...

Can I just be honest? It wasn't as good as it was meant to be.

You know, you have to make sure the guy doesn't have the biggest hammer

in the tool box, because that can be quite scary, but you make it work.

It doesn't become the best thing since sliced bread,

but it's definitely not the worst thing.

It's a really unusual and liberating experience

when you have sex as the gender that you are.

It is...

a happy feeling.

Could probably get married one day in a dress like this.

For Fay, when it comes to the competition,

it's the £5,000 prize money that really counts.

She wants to use it to help fulfil her lifelong dream.

You're here with me, Stuart Hatton, on Pride Radio,

and we have a special guest in the studio.

Yes, we have Miss Fay Louise, who is - now, let me get this right -

Miss Transgender United Kingdom contestant.

Now, what do you get out of it?

Come on, there's got to be a prize, somewhere like thousands of billions

-and billions...

-You get £5,000.

-£5,000?!

-And the thing is...

What are you going to do with that?

Come on, you're going to buy yourself a new car? No, holiday!

If I was to win, I want to start a family and I want to have the...

you know, the little boy, the little girl, that kind of, "He's my child."

You know, I had my sperm frozen many moons ago

and back then, I already knew then I wanted my own child.

So it's sperm and an egg.

I just want to be a mum and it's...

That, to me, feels so normal and natural.

Becoming a mum as a transgender woman isn't straightforward.

Fay had her sperm frozen seven years ago, but to have a baby

she'll need an egg and a surrogate.

She's visiting an alternative parenting show to find out

more about her options.

You know, I don't really know the whole process of having

a surrogacy, having a surrogate, sorry.

Is it more difficult being, like, transgender

-and wanting to go through the process?

-No, I think

if you work with a clinic that has worked with transgender patients

before and who have experience with them, no, I don't think so.

It's no different than treating any other patients.

-What has scared me is the cost.

-Right.

If you plan it well and you organise it well,

you're looking at probably somewhere around...about 120,000.

That's...a helluva of a lot of money.

I mean, that's like, what, maybe six years' wage of some people?

Surrogacy is my first option and I want to have a biological child.

The price is ridiculously scary

and I kind of think I felt more isolated,

because I was here on my own.

I didn't have anyone to call and kind of, you know, like,

"This is how much it is going to cost us."

It's really scary to be doing this...

on my own, so...yeah...

So, this is my talent.

So it's very, like, boho with my hat.

It's the day of the Scotland heat.

Del, Jai's flatmate and ex-boyfriend, is helping her prepare.

Hopefully, when I rip it off my head,

when I become really dramatic during the song, I don't take my wig off.

I'm not a fan of the hat.

-Why?

-Too much.

You don't like some things that I wear because...

You live in a little village.

Yeah, my fashion would be like suitable if I lived in a big city.

Not even! Everyone's far too polite to Jai,

because of this whole transgender thing.

No, no, everyone's always been nice to me.

No-one's ever really said anything.

I think it's because you look so little and innocent,

but I'll tell him when he looks like shit.

Jai and Del broke up two months ago when Jai came out as transgender.

I personally think that Jai decided to go trans

because he was bored of being gay.

Because being gay is so...

socially accepted now

that he wasn't getting the attention that he used to,

so he had to change it up,

so now he's wanting to get tits and lose his bits, so...

-My personal opinion.

-That's his opinion.

He loves attention, he's a massive diva.

-No...

-Yeah, you absolutely love attention. It's incredible.

When I came out as trans,

it was sort of like, "Well, I am a girl now."

The idea of him being gay and finding men attractive puts me off.

The fact that he's a big tranny puts me off.

-Transgender.

-Transgender.

-So...

-Is tranny not short for transgender?

No, it's not a good word.

-So, it's like an insult?

-Yes.

I knew that.

With six hours to go until showtime, Jai sets off for Glasgow.

My dad messaged me. He said, "Good luck today.

"Whatever happens, I'm proud of what you've done over the last few weeks.

"If you don't come first, don't go into a meltdown rage.

"Keep dignified, lose gracefully. Same if you win.

"Respect the competition and, who knows,

"something might come from it, but, if not, life goes on."

So, yeah, I think that was really nice

because sometimes I am a sore loser.

I'll like rip that crown off her head and...

I always struggle with lashes, I always struggle with lashes.

They never seem to stick.

Ah, that's better. I think the more the glam,

the better I'm feeling now.

Jai is one of nine girls competing in the Scotland heat.

She must place in the top four to qualify for a place in the final.

I feel really intimidated by the girls in the pageant

because they're, like, feminine.

They've got the bodies, got less hair.

Physically, I still look like a boy.

Jai's spotted Taylor, one of the favourites to win,

and she's worried.

It's mostly because she looks really pretty

so I think that's what I worry about the most.

She has just such a feminine look about her,

so I think she will be the main competition right now.

The contestants will be judged on a talent they have chosen to perform.

I'm just getting, like, really quite nervous now.

First to take to the stage is Jai's main rival, Taylor,

and she's a hit with the crowd.

CHEERING

# I met him out for dinner on a Friday night

# He really had me working up an appetite

# He had tattoos up and down his arm

# There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm... #

CHEERING

Next up, it's Jai.

APPLAUSE

# We both share the same blood

# We both have the same mind

HE MIMES: # And time and time

# We've had so much to share

# No, no, no, no, no way

# Please stay and hold me, Mr Man

# Try it, mister

# Try it, mister

# I know, I know, I know you can

# Me. #

CHEERING

I slipped a few times, but my eyes started watering

so it just looked like I was more emotional.

I'm knacked. That took a lot out of me, that one.

I'm sweating like a pig, like.

Performances over, it's up to the judges

to decide who goes to the final as Miss Scotland.

I want to win because I'm not really me yet.

It's still like, at the end of the night,

I have to take my mask off every night.

There's still sort of like that barrier holding my confidence back.

Five minutes.

Let's go.

The results are in

and the contestants are called to the stage for the last time.

We've got the second prize winner

and I'm really, really excited to announce

that it's no-one less than...

Taylor!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Taylor takes second

and Jai is still in with a chance of winning the crown.

Right, the first place winner,

Miss Transgender Glasgow, UK is no-one else than...

It's Jai!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Just one point ahead of Taylor, Jai is crowned Miss Scotland.

Give it up for your winner, it's Jai!

We'll see how the final goes. We'll see how I do in London.

I'll be hitting that gym, diet, everything

and I'm happy I've got this. I'm just happy.

I beat two people who are much further along in their transition,

so I do think, like, "Yeah, I must actually be quite feminine

"because I did win Miss Scotland."

Everyone likes this dress. That's what I might wear.

Or I've got the choice of that one.

Courtney's come home to Nottingham

to visit her 82-year-old grandad Sydney for some pre-pageant advice.

Right, so this is the dress,

one of the dresses that I was thinking about wearing, Grandad.

What do you think, red or this one?

This one looks lovely.

-Do you like that one?

-Yeah.

-OK, I'm going to wear that one then.

You look lovely there.

And then I've got to have a talent for the pageant

-and I'm going to do a dance.

-OK.

And then I'm going to strip off into a swimming costume.

SHE LAUGHS

Fingers crossed I'll get through to the final.

I feel confident that I will, but then you never know.

-I wish you all the best.

-Thank you.

You have some idea what the person is going to end up to be.

-So he wasn't shocked.

-You always knew?

Yeah, but I was never shocked about it

when I saw him... saw her dressed up in a frock.

I'd have to accept her or hate her, one of the two, isn't it,

and you couldn't do it. It's your blood.

How are you going to feel if the next time Courtney comes to see you,

she's got a crown on her head?

Well, I would be happy to see that, that I was proud of him.

Or proud of her, whatsoever she be.

Courtney was just a teenager and living on a council estate

when she started to transition.

It was a really, really rough area.

It's just rough as fuck

and I just got terrorised every time I walked out of my yard.

I got terrorised. I couldn't live my life in peace.

I was having bottles thrown at me.

Some people just tried to run me over.

I started to transition as soon as I left school, I got to, like, 17

and then went from being a bit of a joke

to being a bit of a sexy bitch!

These streets are also

where Courtney started escorting as a teenager.

So we're on Forest Road, which is a renowned red light district,

and this is where I used to come

when I was younger to get money with my friend.

We were the only trans-girls working the lane at that time.

It was really, really, erm...

It was really scary.

As I started to come here more and more,

I started getting more confident, coming up here on my own, you know,

and built up a clientele so it did get to that stage

where I was going back to their houses or going to the next level.

When you're young, you don't have no kind of concept of any danger.

You just think, "Fuck it, I need this money."

If I could go back and tell 14-year-old Courtney

how things were going to be now, I would have been like,

"You don't want to die and your life is going to get so much better.

"You're going to be in a beauty pageant

"and people are going to be interested in you

"and you're going to be somebody and you are somebody."

PHONE RINGS

Hi, my name is Fay Louise Purdham.

I'm ringing in relation to a phone call I received recently

about an outstanding amount of money that was due.

And can you tell me...

So, is everything still intact?

Nothing's been destroyed?

It's the morning of the north-east heat and Fay's had some bad news.

The sperm she had frozen is in danger of being destroyed

because she's fallen behind on her payments.

No, I do not want to discard.

I am just figuring out the financial side of it.

I will literally get this sorted immediately.

OK, thank you, bye-bye.

So, I owe £786.

Next year, I will then owe another 700,

so that does bring it up to 1,400.

I'm in a position where I would literally do anything right now

to secure motherhood, to be a parent.

It would destroy us to have that taken away from us.

-Curls, curls, curls, curls, curls.

-Major curl.

Major curls, major bigness, major amazingness.

With money worries still on her mind,

Fay's come to her friend's salon to get ready for the heat.

I got a phone call off London Sperm Bank and they basically said,

"You've ran out of timescales. You have to pay."

And I said to them, "I'm struggling, please understand."

So, if I win,

it's five grand, so I would be able to pay off another five years

and that would be nice

and I just think I'd be like such a nice mam, do you know what I mean?

You could imagine. I'd want to be called Mama.

-You just dote on people, don't you?

-Yeah, I love it.

And obviously it's something I've really planned.

-I wouldn't have had my sperm frozen if I didn't want this.

-Yeah, yeah.

It just feels more special to me.

-What are you writing now?

-I'm going to write...

Well, I can, I suppose, spell.

It needs to be readable.

The north-east heat is underway

and Fay's backstage preparing for her performance.

She wants to use it to highlight

how hard it is to be accepted as a trans-woman.

'I've been called so many different names over the years -

'him, it, freak, tranny.'

Being called a freak hurts the worst

because it's thrown around so easily.

Welcome to the stage Fay, please.

CHEERING

The winners from the north-east heat will go through to the final,

along with those from the other heats across the UK.

Welcome to the first International Pageant for Transgender.

This is the Cardiff heat.

And the judges' vote for the pageant winner who goes to the final

with this lovely lady is number four.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Miss Transgender Brighton - Natasha.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The people's favourite - Ashley.

CHEERING

Every girl on this stage tonight has been a winner.

You know, for somebody who works in a school cleaning every night,

it's not bad, is it, you know?

With only a few places left in the final,

Fay's hoping she's done enough to impress the judges.

In second place...

..Miss Chani.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

In first place...

..Miss Fay.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm in the final now.

If I win the final, I then have the money to be able

to start my extra special process of becoming a mum.

Cheers!

I'm really nervous about being on TV.

I've not been on live TV before so I'm nervous, but...

Courtney's been invited onto a chat show to talk about the pageant.

She is hoping to use the opportunity

to speak out about being a transgender escort.

Courtney Campbell, hello to you.

You're going to be taking part actually in this pageant.

Well, let me ask you, why do you need what to me would appear to be

a quite outdated sort of beauty contest for transgender people? Why?

I think it's just a bit of fun.

Obviously, it's getting the awareness

of what transgender people do need.

Some of these girls that are in the competition

have never done a pageant in their lives and, like me,

have a always dreamed of doing something like that.

It may be old-fashioned, but it's fun.

And this is not all about beauty, actually.

It's about what they actually bring

and how they can help promote the transgender community.

Right, so it will be about the message you can deliver, yeah.

Yeah, and what you're prepared to do.

I don't really mind getting into the nitty-gritty of everything.

What do you mean, getting into the nitty-gritty?

I don't really mind dealing with all the subjects

-that people don't really like talking about...

-Like what?

Like I think escorting is a big issue

with young transgender people.

Speaking from personal experience, I was a child

-and I didn't have no choice, I was homeless.

-What, to become an escort?

Well, yeah, and I'm sorry, but that is a big issue.

People don't like talking about it

because of the stigma that comes with that.

Did you hear what the news reporter said?

"So, are you saying, Courtney, do you agree..."

I was on the train, "No! Why?" She nearly cried.

Across town, the other contestants are at a photo shoot

and have heard about Courtney's interview.

The BBC didn't go exactly the way that I thought that it would

and I feel that it might tarnish the reputation of the other girls

who are not working in the adult industry

and they're not escorts.

Obviously, a lot of people aren't happy about it

because now it's painted us all with the same brush.

I've not done escorting, so...

That's not what the competition is about

and I really don't think that should be mentioned.

It shouldn't have been mentioned

and there was no reason for it to be mentioned.

She wasn't asked the question. She just brought it up.

I want to be a mum, I want children,

I want to settle down and I would never want that remark on TV

to then assume I could be doing the same job.

People are kind of saying that I'm scandalising the competition

by announcing that escorting

is a big issue within the community, which it is.

I'm just not going to have anyone beat me up

about the mistakes that I've made.

It's a few hours until the Midlands heat

and Courtney's heard about the backlash to her TV appearance.

I'm not going to sit there

and just have that thrown in my face for the rest of my life.

And I'm not perfect now

and I'm not gonna say I'm perfect or Snow White, I never will be.

I don't want to be that, either.

I just want a bit more control over what is going on.

-Right, first name?

-Courtney.

Any titles or awards you've achieved?

No, I think being in this competition

is my biggest achievement to date.

I'm not really embarrassed about saying that.

-Your life ambition.

-To be a household name.

Cross that out.

Put to be a legend.

It's the night of the Midlands heat

and Courtney's mum has arrived just in time for the start of the show.

OK, firstly, welcome to Miss Transgender UK 2015.

What time does it start? In a minute?

-What time?

-It starts now!

-Now?

What the fuck?

What am I going to wear? What is it?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, shit!

Things aren't going to plan for Courtney.

The talent round is already underway

and she's only just started getting ready.

No... No! Aaah!

What the fuck?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

With seconds to go, Courtney takes the stage.

SHE MIMES: # I've got the stuff that you want

# I've got the thing that you need

# I've got more than enough

# To make you drop to your knees

# Cos I'm the queen of the night

# The queen of the night

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah, yeah

# I've got the stuff that you want

# I've got the thing that you need

# I've got more than enough

# To make you drop to your knees

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah, yeah

# Cos I'm the queen of the night... #

CHEERING

SHE LAUGHS

I think I did all right.

By the reception I got from the crowd, I think I did all right.

Did you see your mum in the audience?

Yeah, she looked really proud.

Before the judges decide on the winners,

the contestants are given the chance

to speak about themselves to the audience.

The support that I've got from my friends and family has been overwhelming.

It's been really, really nice. My mum's here tonight.

Mum, I want you to appreciate what I want to say.

You had me at 15 years old.

You were in care and you gave birth to me and you never gave up on me

and look where I am tonight. And I love you to bits.

Yeah?

APPLAUSE

Scores added up, the results are in.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Third place goes to Jossy from Derby.

Second place for the judges was Talulah. Congratulations!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Courtney is up against four others for the top prize.

And in first place...

..is Courtney. Congratulations!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-You won, girl!

-Hey, Mum!

Oh, my God! I won!

I thought I wasn't going to be people's favourite!

Five years ago, she wouldn't even have thought about this.

Last year, I wouldn't have done it.

Not even last year, she wouldn't have thought about it,

so she's come a long way, a long way.

To get up the courage to do that and do what she did

just tonight was amazing, really, wasn't it? Yeah.

Unexpectedly, Fay arrives backstage.

It's the first time they've seen each other

since Fay criticised Courtney for speaking about escorting on TV.

It doesn't matter about what they're doing, love.

-She looks like a bulldog.

-Ssh! That's not nice.

-Why's she here?

-She's come to...

-Why's she here?

-Courtney...

Get the fuck out of here! You, out of the room!

You, out of the room!

You threatened me!

You threatened me!

I haven't threatened you! Why would I threaten to beat you up?

-You look like Phil Mitchell with hair!

-Stop it!

-Great!

-You like Phil Mitchell with hair!

-Amazing!

-You bulldog!

And you've got the cheek to have a fucking vagina, right? Look at you!

She's throwing things at us!

Get them out! Get them out now!

Listen, you're going to need to go.

-Fuck off, you!

-I don't even know you!

-It's not Crufts!

-This is a competition

and this is trying to make people proud.

You're a DISGRACE!

Get her out, now!

That crown should be removed from her head.

It's the day after the Midlands heat.

Following her fight with Fay, Courtney is out of the competition.

What have the last couple of days been like for you?

It's been really upsetting, really, because I didn't invite my friends

and family to come to that kind of circus of a show.

I'm not trying to say it is OK to act like that.

Yeah, I wish that I would have dealt with it in a different way.

Feeling upset and alone in London,

Courtney has decided to travel back to Nottingham.

'I thought that winning Miss Transgender would be a way

'to leave the escorting world behind.

'When I started escorting, I think the saddest thing

'is that it did make me feel loved,

'it made me feel wanted, it made me feel sexy

'and made me feel a lot of things, powerful,

'things that I'd never felt before, but then that's not love.

'That's not love at all.

'It's not fucking Pretty Woman and you're not Richard Gere

'and I'm certainly not Julia Roberts.'

Back in her hometown, Courtney is working as an escort again.

'You're kind of like everyone's fantasy, really.

'They're obviously wanting the female form,'

but the fact that we've got something a little bit different,

in one way, they crave it, but in the other way,

they're ashamed to admit that that's what they like.

I want to be someone's wife.

You know, someone's home girl, not, like, just a fantasy.

I'm tired of being that. It's boring now.

Like, I want something meaningful.

Someone who's going to love me back as much as I love them.

But everyone is searching for that, aren't they?

Everyone is searching for that and some people never find it.

Maybe I'm like one of them. You never know.

I'll just fill my life with loads of dogs and animals and stuff.

I'll be like that old lady on the street, I think, sometimes.

You know, just with loads of animals

and nice shoes.

I think, for the final, I've got to put in a lot more effort

because these girls are top of each heat.

So, there are, like, equal, on my par, because they won their heats.

That's why I feel like I'm doing triple of what I'd done before.

I want to win this.

With five days to go until the final,

a new prize has been announced that's proving controversial.

Along with £5,000,

the winner will be offered full gender reassignment surgery.

But Jai is not sure if she wants the full op.

Is this prize pressuring me into something

that I might not actually want to do?

Because I always know that, yes, I am female, but I think that

my genitals don't identify me or make me more or less of a woman.

It is dictating what a woman should be.

It's sort of saying to us girls, well, to make yourself

more of a woman, to be more accepted in society, here's a vagina.

-You hide everything well, Jai.

-I know.

-Like, you wouldn't actually... There's nothing there.

-Yeah.

-At all.

-I think... I tuck it away well.

Best friend Heather was one of the first people Jai

confided in about being transgender.

Now, she wants advice on the next stage of her transition.

So you're not going for the whole...?

I'm still thinking about that.

I don't know if I'm going to get it all done.

You need to really think about it.

Yeah, I'm going to proper really think about this.

It's like getting your arm cut off. Something you've had all your life.

When I start taking hormones and stuff,

-it's going to stop working anyway.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

So it's not going to work. So, it's sort of going to have, like...

-Say if it was like an arm, it would be like...

-A droopy arm!

A droopy arm, so I can't use this arm,

I can't do anything, so it's better to get rid of it

than just have it like this extension on my body.

At least you could have a vagina, but you'll not get periods.

-That'd be great.

-Aye.

The Rolls-Royce of vaginas!

LAUGHTER

So, I'll have the best vagina!

Exactly!

But, then again, I'll have to see and wait,

see how it goes and how I feel and things like that.

Right now, I'm more 50/50.

If you do, if you don't, it's not going to make a difference to us.

We'll still get drunk and silly anyway. Yay!

-Are my samples here?

-Yes, yours are in the two tanks there.

FAY GASPS

Oh, my God! My babies are in there. That's so crazy!

Fay is making a trip to visit the sperm bank.

She's arranged a payment plan that will buy her more time

to become a mum.

It's such a relief to see them, because a week ago

I was under the impression that they'd been destroyed.

Each one of these boxes fits 100 samples.

Yours should be position 53.

So, one, two, three.

One, two, three, four, five.

FAY GASPS

Oh, my God!

This is so cool.

Wow!

Put them back in. Keep them safe!

There's, like, 20 million kids in there potentially. I only want one.

I'm fine with one.

I feel really, really excited that my sperm is safe.

And to visually see it in a little vial was so good.

I think that is amazing. I actually feel like a mum-to-be.

To be honest, I'm confident about this competition.

I look at all the girls. It's like the Hunger Games. I'm out to kill.

SHE GIGGLES

It's the morning of the final and the contestants are travelling

to London from all over the UK.

-Do you want to win?

-Of course I want to win.

I wouldn't be in the competition if I didn't want to win.

I'm confident with my dress. I think my dress is amazing.

And I'm confident with the talent.

I feel excited.

There's 20 girls in Miss Transgender United.

So, I'm like...

If one wins, what does she have that stands out?

So I'm like, what is it?

I think I'm just going to try and bring my personality.

If the judges don't like my personality, I'm fucked.

Tonight, Jai and Fay will compete against the top transgender

beauty queens from across the country.

-How's my make-up?

-It looks beautiful.

Usually, the one thing I worry about most is my five o'clock shadow.

So, even I think my make-up is looking quite good, like.

There's a girl downstairs, she looks like she's got these,

like, massive fairy wings

and there are all diamantes and it's unbelievable.

So, we need to smash them up!

HOOT OF LAUGHTER

Let's have a time check. We're going to start in half an hour.

-Really?

-Half an hour.

I think this is anybody's game at the minute.

All of these girls are the best 20

that I can find from around the country.

There's no badness in any of these girls

so it really is anybody's game.

In the final, points will be equally split between the talent round

and the question round.

The contestants must prove to the judges that they can be

a role model for the transgender community.

The questions is the bit that I'm most nervous about,

because that's the bit that I find I'll stand out most

out of all the other girls because, compared to everybody else,

I do a lot of charity work.

I'm like Mother Teresa compared to these girls, like.

Basically, I'm Mother Teresa with a penis.

Audience seated, the competition opens to a full house.

Good evening, London!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Are you ready?

CHEERING

I think before I start I'd like to explain why I did this,

because I think that it has been confused between a general

type of beauty pageant, which this is not.

This is about finding ambassadors across the country

that I can work with who will work for the community, that will help.

So... Let's welcome them.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

As the talent round begins, Fay is one of the first to perform.

Please welcome to the stage, Fay.

APPLAUSE

I don't believe it's only about beauty.

To make changes in the world, you have to stand and say,

"I am a transgendered female and proud."

CHEERING

Last up, it's Jai.

Winning this pageant would change my life.

I think I'd believe in myself more.

I've had depression, anxiety, I've lost friends, I've felt alone.

To win, I think a lot of people would see me and accept me more.

I'd feel more confident in myself.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Next, it's the question round

and the last chance for the girls to impress the judges.

I need to pee, but I'm scared in case I miss my cue.

I think the hardest thing to do is to actually talk

to my children about it.

That's why I'm so happy and I'm so blessed and thankful.

I am transgender, but my name is Fay, not the transgender girl,

and I think...

Take away all the...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..glitter, and I wouldn't just want to be transgender.

We're more than that. We're people.

CHEERING

It's sort of like...

People may think I'm talking out of my bum hole right now

because I'm like, "World peace and I want to kiss babies."

But, the fact is, I do actually do all this stuff.

I volunteer, I work hard.

I want to be recognised for the hard work I do.

APPLAUSE

I don't feel I've done as best as I should have done.

There's so many girls here that are, like, amazing.

I don't think I've got it now. I honestly think I've lost.

I don't even think I've placed.

I just don't think I did good.

And that's shit!

I don't know. It just means so much to us.

Performances over, the judges add up the scores for the last time.

My ladies, pop onstage, please.

CHEERING

In third place...

..is Fay Louise.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

In second place...

..Daisy Bell.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, are you ready for the winner?

AUDIENCE CHEERS

Jai is still up against 17 others to win the crown.

Jai.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Speechless.

I was really, like, quite downhearted for a bit

and I didn't think I had any chance.

I was not expecting that, that's for sure.

But not everyone is happy that Jai has won.

Some of the contestants think that she's not far enough

in her transition to be worthy of the crown.

And so is Jai.

I'm just phoning to say that I won.

-Oh, brilliant!

-Yeah.

Fantastic!

I sort of, like, can't get my head around the idea that I've just one.

Jai is... Why?

Stop fucking arguing. Seriously!

Exactly!

You're meant to be fucking women.

You're acting like fucking men in a pub. Seriously!

Exactly!

You need to not think that. Because once...

Once, I was a little boy in a wig and I wasn't a gay boy.

I was just starting out.

I understand you wanted to win. I understand.

You don't know what she's been through.

Really?

It's not long before Jai hears about the fight.

"I can't believe she won. She's nothing but a gay boy in a wig."

-Who the fuck does she think she is?

-Exactly.

Well, I'm a gay boy with a fucking fanny and tits if that's the case

because I come from where you come from.

So they don't think I should...?

-They're just sore losers, honey.

-Basically.

Winning this title has made me way more confident

and so much closer to actually just living my dream

and being a part of, like...

..just being me.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I didn't win the cash prize to start me on my journey,

but obviously my journey is not over

and I want to take the next step, so I've set up a GoFundMe page.

Fay is hoping her fundraising page will help her raise money

for a surrogate.

But it's attracted more attention than she'd hoped for.

There are 16 comments on this page and every single one is negative.

"It's his fault if he has messed himself up."

"It goes against Mother Nature."

"Too Frankenstein-ish, to say the least."

I suppose my whole entire life, I've compared cared about what

people say and for the first time, I just really couldn't give a damn.

Courtney has decided to move back permanently to her

hometown of Nottingham.

I think I was running away from a lot of things.

It's got really lonely for me.

The sort of world I'm moving in...

Sex workers, it felt like sometimes they were the only people

who would come around and see me.

I don't want to escort any more. I want a stable life.

There have been some positive things come out of it.

Like, I'm not on hard-core drugs, you know?

I'm on the right path.

In Scotland, the newly-crowned Miss Transgender UK isn't letting

the drama of the final get her down.

People say to me that I shouldn't have won this crown

because I've not struggled.

They see me as this early stage gay boy in a wig

and they're slagging me off.

At the end of the day, we all started off gay boys in wigs.

Jai has had some time to think about the prize of gender

reassignment surgery.

-And she's made up her mind.

-I don't want a vagina.

Getting a vagina doesn't make me more or less of a woman.

I'm a girl at the end of the day. I was just born with a dick.

That's it.

MUSIC: Changing by Sigma, Featuring Paloma Faith